/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.18275932]

What fake names do you like using at fast food places?

[Anonymous No.18275942]

None, because even posting on 4chan is a better use of my time than trying to make a le funni name for the fast food worker who won't read it

[Anonymous No.18275950]

>>18275942
Anon it gives a moment of humor in the toil of wage cucking. Sorry you just want to be another Jamal in their system.

[Anonymous No.18275951]

>>18275932
No one has ever asked my name of a fast food place. When would this happen?

[Anonymous No.18275952]

>>18275950
They won't read it
They can't read

[Anonymous No.18275957]

Barry McDickiner

[Anonymous No.18275961]

>>18275951
Corps like having wagies read out names because its less confusing than shouting out order # 4235

[Anonymous No.18275978]

>>18275932
I sometimes use my WoW characters name. Gets a laugh out of my guildies.

[Anonymous No.18275982]

>>18275952
You will read the customer names or you will be scrubbing shitters for the next hour
>>18275978
What was the name?

[Anonymous No.18276048]

>>18275957
Ivanna Phuck

[Anonymous No.18276072]

Craven Moorehead

[Anonymous No.18276102]

>>18275932
Myron Gaines

[Anonymous No.18276135]

>>18275932
>taking a lady out to a fancy/pretentious raw food place
>have to write name down and they call aloud when table is ready
>write "Satan"
>hostess/yoga teacher calls out in a breathy voice "Satan"
>we walk up, she giggles and asks "where are you horns?"
>look angry and say "it's pronounced sah-TAHN"
>hostess apologizes profusely

[Anonymous No.18276137]

>>18276135

kek, based

[Anonymous No.18276149]

>>18275932
I always used to say Tom because I don't want to give out my real name. I always wondered if Tom sounded like a fake name though.

I stopped doing this when someone recognized me from my typical place and said "Tom" and I didn't react. Then she asked why I didn't react and I spilled my spaghetti everywhere man.

[Anonymous No.18276178]

>>18275932
For me it was going through the Wendy's drive through 15 years ago and getting 4 items off the dollar menu and giggling when they said the total was "$4.20".

[Anonymous No.18276181]

>>18276149
>Tom sounded like a fake name

[Anonymous No.18276216]

I use my real name at Starbucks so i can hear someone say it out loud

[Anonymous No.18276217]

>>18276149
I always use Phil. One time the bitch at Starbucks wrote Fill

[Anonymous No.18276228]

Joe momma

[Anonymous No.18276245]

>>18276149
>I stopped doing this when someone recognized me from my typical place and said "Tom" and I didn't react. Then she asked why I didn't react and I spilled my spaghetti everywhere man.
nightmare scenario

[Anonymous No.18276309]

>>18275957
>>18276048
>>18276072
>>18276102
>>18276228
>hugh jazz
>dick hitswater
>gloria holstein
>seymore buttz
>dick beater
>jack hinov
>sharon peters
>harry beever
>peter stroker
>mister bator
>harry balzac
>phil mckraken
>ivanna viener
>stu pedasso
>heywood jablomi
>wilma fingerdoo
>willie fisterbottom
>b.j. hunter
>peter wanker
>amanda kiss
>woody spanker
>mike hunt
>richard (aka "big dick") smoker

[Anonymous No.18276316]

>>18275932
Carlos Danger

[Anonymous No.18276320]

>>18275932
Girth Brooks

[Anonymous No.18276323]

>>18275932
based $5 Build your own cravings box poster
that shit is such a steal with fast food prices they are these days

[Anonymous No.18276334]

>>18276149
>I stopped doing this when someone recognized me from my typical place and said "Tom" and I didn't react. Then she asked why I didn't react and I spilled my spaghetti everywhere man.
You could always just say you were ordering for someone else.

[Anonymous No.18276372]

>>18275932
and a pepsi zero

[Anonymous No.18276457]

Sadie Enword

[Anonymous No.18276464]

>>18275932
Nick Gurz

[Anonymous No.18276485]

>>18276464
That will get your food coomed in

[Anonymous No.18276555]

I use my Dad's name, which is super common, because uncultured cunts have apparently never seen my name and ALWAYS mispronounce it. Its literally a Bible name.

[Anonymous No.18276558]

>>18276555
Ya seething Hezikiah?

[Anonymous No.18276563]

>>18276555
To be fair, a lot of Bible names are pretty hard to correctly pronounce for people who are only familiar with modern linguistics, NebooCHADnezzahr.

[Anonymous No.18276566]

>>18276563
>>18276558
Its Caleb.

[Anonymous No.18276568]

>>18276566
Whatever you say Cal-ebb

[Anonymous No.18276581]

>>18276566
did you say kaylee?

[Anonymous No.18276583]

I use otto, after the victor of lechfeld

[Anonymous No.18276606]

>>18276581
I've gotten Kuh-leeb, Cal-eb, Kay-lup (but desu thats just how darks with their pseudo-lisps pronounce it, there are a good amount of black Calebs), and stranger. Sometimes its loud and they mishear me when they ask me my name as Kayla. Either way, shits annoying so I avoid it.

[Anonymous No.18276610]

>>18275932
Randy Savage is always either innocuous or it gets a good laugh

[Anonymous No.18276613]

>>18276566
kha-leeb? like arabian or some shit?

[Anonymous No.18276622]

i use the name will billiums

[Anonymous No.18276640]

>>18275942
You sound like a fun person

[Anonymous No.18276652]

>>18275932
Nate Higgers. Always great to hear the employees shout it.

[Anonymous No.18276704]

I've never eaten/ordered from anywhere that needs to ask me my name except twice. Once, I said "no" and they insisted so I said "Dr. No."
The other time, I said "Princess Poodle Pants."

[Anonymous No.18276711]

>>18275932
Mike Hunt
say it fast, I always make them say a few times before I respond.

[Anonymous No.18276718]

>>18276309
>no "ben dover"
amateur

[Anonymous No.18276721]

>>18276457
lol thank you anon i needed that laugh today

>>18276566
>caleeb

>>18276711
also a classic

[Anonymous No.18276726]

stu pedaso

[Anonymous No.18276739]

Hugh Jainus

[Anonymous No.18276747]

>>18276566
I'm foreign to the US and while I've never used my name when ordering food (see >>18276704), my name seems unpronounceable to English speakers.
It's Aronne. Aaron, in Italian. I've gotten Ah-rown, Ei-ruh-nee, Uh-rah-nee, Uh-rahn, Uh-rah-nuh and others. It's Ah-rohn-neh. I get English doesn't generally have consonant gemination so I'd accept 'ah-roh-neh' with the English R rather than our trilled one but even then, people want to extend the last vowel and say "ah-roh-nei" instead.
Friends here just call me Ron.

[Anonymous No.18276764]

>>18275950
>I like it so everyone likes it
dark triad vibes

[Anonymous No.18276769]

>>18276747
you sound obnoxious

[Anonymous No.18276848]

>>18276769
: )

[Anonymous No.18277119]

>>18276610
rip

[Anonymous No.18277144]

Buster Hyman

[Anonymous No.18277176]

I haven't eaten fast food in 2 months.

[Anonymous No.18277295]

>>18275932
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC2cG1IEez0

[Anonymous No.18277586]

>>18276149
Bruh, you have to call yourself by your alias(es) in your inner monologue to get used to reacting to the name, or at least be good at pretending you didn't hear something.

[Anonymous No.18278404]

>>18275932
Gaylord

[Anonymous No.18278411]

>>18276606
Strangely my name is Justin and "Jessica" sounds the same from a fair distance and it gets awkward

[Anonymous No.18278413]

>>18276769
Most europeans do

[Anonymous No.18278417]

Judy Stroyer

[Anonymous No.18278419]

>>18275932
Barack Obama

[Anonymous No.18278477]

"Mr. Wagie? Mr. Wagie, your order is ready"

[Anonymous No.18278495]

>>18276555
Richard Face?

[Anonymous No.18278578]

>>18277586
This. Once at my old job, it's a long story, but I had to go by Mason. I still see the folks I worked with and they call me that, even though my new name badge has my real name lol

[Anonymous No.18278605]

>>18276135
Now that's fun, way better than OP's gradeschool-tier fart jokes.

[Anonymous No.18278607]

smallpenis bigheart
they always smile when they give me my order, i hope their days a little better :)

[Anonymous No.18278608]

hugh jassle

[Anonymous No.18278609]

>>18276566
I've met three people named Caleb in my life, all were gay.

[Anonymous No.18278770]

Sneed

[Anonymous No.18278879]

>>18276764
And that's a good thing

[Anonymous No.18278906]

>>18275932
Nigger Jones. I always laff when the chinaman who works at burger king reads it out loud

[Anonymous No.18278933]

>>18276309
>>18276718
Nick Gurrs

[Anonymous No.18278950]

My name is hard to spell so I've used "Adam" for years now

[Anonymous No.18279000]

>>18276769
Are you a woman or a gay man? I've only ever heard women and gay men use that word, in between choking on dicks, of course.

[Anonymous No.18279013]

>>18276764
As a wagie would you rather deal with a 4chan neckbeard making dumb jokes or a karen bitching at the lack of beef in her burrito?

[Anonymous No.18279014]

>>18276309
>wilma fingerdoo
>>18276457
>Sadie Enword
lel
Adding Kraven Gaiman.

[Anonymous No.18279023]

>>18278411
MFW dealing with Christian / Tristan mix ups

[Anonymous No.18279329]

>>18276309
>sharon peters
I don't get it

[Anonymous No.18279365]

>>18276309
>Jenna Tulls

[Anonymous No.18279379]

>>18278417
underrated

First audible kek of the thread

[Anonymous No.18279382]

>>18276149
when i was in second grade, we had 3 johns in our class, so they tried to call me johnny, but i also failed to react.

[Anonymous No.18279388]

Chris Angel mindfreak

[Anonymous No.18279410]

>>18276135
No goofy name, but I somehow got 666 as my order number at a McDicks. The nebbish black teen who was handing out the orders ended up walking up to me and asking if it was my order rather than calling out the number.

[Anonymous No.18279492]

>>18279013
How about neither? Just order like a normal human being instead of an autistic sperg or fucking hick retard

[Anonymous No.18279569]

>>18279329
Sharing Dicks, peter is slang

[Anonymous No.18279573]

>>18279492
.t wagie

[Anonymous No.18279590]

>>18275932
they don't do that in leafland
you are given a number that's also on your receipt
just have to keep an ear open for your number

[Anonymous No.18279615]

>>18275932

[Anonymous No.18279729]

>>18276149
KWAB

[Anonymous No.18279773]

>>18279013
One doesn't negate the other. I used to work fast food. Whether or not social-lets like OP harassed me with unfunny memes regurgitated from elsewhere is nothing but a blip on a long day of being on my feet in a hot unsanitary kitchen ran by druggies who only show up to work because their probation officers demand it. Trust me, that guy working the drive thru doesn't give a fuck about your sensibilities. If he plays along, it's learned helplessness due to a nonstop barrage of autism from people like OP.

[Anonymous No.18279790]

>>18275950
>>18276640

[Anonymous No.18279890]

>>18279729
>/pw/ posting outside of your autism corner

[Anonymous No.18279945]

>>18275932
no “Nick Gehr” yet?
I am disappoint.

[Anonymous No.18279953]

>>18279945
Nick Kerr always works

[Anonymous No.18279955]

>>18276309
>clint taurus

[Anonymous No.18279960]

>>18279615
clever

[Anonymous No.18280027]

>>18275932
I saw a guy at work sign up for a apple id using the name Richard Skinner. I want to use it at a restaurant but I'm autistic and afraid they'll yell at me

[Anonymous No.18280045]

Dani G. German

[Anonymous No.18280057]

>>18275932
I sign as Batman when I have a large order that I have to sign for on the counter. Bank is cool about it cus I’ve been doing it for a decade and never complained about charges desu

[Anonymous No.18280069]

>>18276149
>don't like giving out my first name to order food
Imagine being this libertarian

[Anonymous No.18280083]

>>18279890
huh?
wat U mean?

[Anonymous No.18280093]

>>18276555
>>18276566
If you're complaining about them pronouncing it "cah-leb", they're actually pronouncing it more correctly than you are.

[Anonymous No.18280121]

>>18276309
You forgot:

>I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

[Anonymous No.18280136]

>>18279590
At Timmy's, you enter your name into the self-order machine, and then it appears on a screen at the counter of orders in progress. I'm actually surprised that I've never once seen any joke names or nicknames on there.

[Anonymous No.18280164]

Uncle Prang

[Anonymous No.18280171]

>>18280136
i dont drink coffee but i was mainly talking aboot my tacobell(or fastfood places)...tho they did go thru some redesign over the wuflu and havent been in it since i havent got any coupons for them in 2 years now

[Anonymous No.18280198]

>>18280171
>i dont drink coffee
Neither do people who patronize Timmy's.


But yeah I've never seen any other place do this; I've only ever been to like two fast food chains though.

[Anonymous No.18280204]

>>18280093
What a nigger understanding of how language works.

[Anonymous No.18280229]

>>18275932
Nelson Tethers, sometimes Agent Tethers

[Anonymous No.18280244]

>>18279013
my aunt's name is karen, asshole. go fuck yourself.

[Anonymous No.18280249]

>>18280229
triple based

[Anonymous No.18280522]

There was a kid at my high school who got arrested for drunk driving during our drunk driving awareness week lol. I had a friend who would call those dirty-talk sex hotlines and give that kids name name instead of his own. Now whenever I get asked for a name at a food place it's always Cameron Stevens. I've also given that name to the cops a few times before when I was younger so I never had to worry about them putting me on record or some shit.

>>18279388
checked, don't know why this is so funny to me. I'm going to start using this too.

[Anonymous No.18280562]

>>18279573
Try again you unemployed neet.

[Anonymous No.18280742]

>>18280121
>I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
That's pretty wordy and clunky; maybe you shouldn't try so hard

[Anonymous No.18280779]

>>18275932
Phil McCraken

[Anonymous No.18280796]

>>18280244
You need to be 18+

[Anonymous No.18280891]

>>18280796
yeah, so leave.

[Anonymous No.18281129]

Anita Blujjoob

[Anonymous No.18281132]

>>18275932
Richard Wang

[Anonymous No.18281166]

>>18275932
Imma Fellater

[Anonymous No.18281174]

>>18280796
My street nickname. Feels good to never have moved out of my block.

[Anonymous No.18281439]

>>18280136
Probably because you can be arrested for meming in canada

[Anonymous No.18281488]

>>18278417
Made me crack up
Captcha XDV0J

[Anonymous No.18281498]

>>18281488
I'm on a roll, baby. 1488 get

[Anonymous No.18281504]

Hugh G. Rection

[Anonymous No.18281509]

>be me
>2008
>living in LA
>starbucks near me is noisy as shit
>they never hear my name right
>go there one day and decide to use a name easier to understand
>immediately forget I did this
>waiting and waiting and no coffee
start complaining and arguing with them that the coffee sitting there the last 10mins isn't mine
>suddenly realize I used an alias
>it was mine
>can never ever return

[Anonymous No.18281680]

>>18275961
Teenagers like to turn the screens off and run away, it takes the wagies a good twenty minutes to figure it out

[Anonymous No.18281696]

>>18279023
Did he died?

[Anonymous No.18281712]

>>18281696
Had to get neck surgury might never wrestle again

[Anonymous No.18281713]

>>18281680
how do i do this

[Anonymous No.18281720]

>>18281713
The power button on those kinds of machines is usually up under the bottom edge on the right-hand side, as facing the screen.

[Anonymous No.18281724]

>>18281680
why do you hate people who work for hourly pay so much? where is that coming from.

[Anonymous No.18281747]

>>18275932
Jack or James or whatever they think they heard the first time.

[Anonymous No.18281763]

>>18275932
Harry Balsagna

[Anonymous No.18281783]

>>18281724
Oh, it's just some kids avin' a laugh.
They ain't hurtin' nothin'.

[Anonymous No.18281848]

>>18280742
>Zoomer alert
Shut up and google the text you broccoli haired retard.

[Anonymous No.18281853]

>>18275932
Mind Goblin

[Anonymous No.18281860]

I always say "Jack"

[Anonymous No.18282289]

>>18275932
Sleve McDichael

[Anonymous No.18282378]

>>18275932
None as where I live they don't want to know your name. They put a number on the receipt and call out the number when it's ready.

[Anonymous No.18282380]

>>18275932
Scran

[Anonymous No.18282390]

Dinny McDinnerface
>i just made it up

[Anonymous No.18282399]

I always have to give a fake name because they never know how to pronounce Breton

[Anonymous No.18282401]

>>18282399
Me to because my parents named my Cranston

[Anonymous No.18282405]

>>18275932
The fuck they want my name? Usually they show you order number on tableau, or give you radiocontrolled zoomer, or whatever

[Anonymous No.18282410]

>>18282399
Inbreton

[Anonymous No.18282411]

"Yes."

[Anonymous No.18282412]

>>18275932
"James Randolf".

[Anonymous No.18282489]

>>18282399
My last name is a normal commonly used word and people never believe me so I have to spell it out.

[Anonymous No.18282505]

>>18275932
Other day i used "James Gandolfini" and the server got upset when i wasnt actually the actor

[Anonymous No.18282513]

>>18275932
I had an Aussie go by Marco, when I called the daffy cunt responded "Polo!" When his grub was done. I sometimes miss working at that Wendy's

[Anonymous No.18282538]

>Haywood jablomey

[Anonymous No.18282544]

>>18282489
Faggot?

[Anonymous No.18282545]

>>18282489

Is that you Greg House?

[Anonymous No.18282555]

>>18282505
God damn it.
Do I gotta do some Jim Rim-Wolf shit?

[Anonymous No.18282557]

>>18279890
care to extrapolate?

[Anonymous No.18282587]

>>18275932
I always sign up as Hong Kong Phooey, the drivers seemed pissed off when i get Chinese and it's a white guy that answers the door

[Anonymous No.18282634]

>>18275932
>>18276704
once a friend and i were coming down from a huge acid binge and decided to check in at the cafe-diner thats usually not busy just to settle in easy after 20+ hours
>we didnt know there was a golf tourney in town the same morning and was packed shitshow and clearly we were late at 7am
>hostess assumed we were on the list and asks us for a name after 4 minutes of deliberation
>i reply "im sorry but we don't have a name"
>she giggles and apologizes and offers to move us up to the next open two-top under "noname"
>i have no idea how but we waited less than 5 minutes, skipped ahead 10+ parties on a head full of acid during priority seating
> i order tea to slip in my whiskey, muffin special thats hashed taters, egg and oatmeal which came out super fast and hot. i mixed it all into a slush was great
>the staff had compensated apparently, my given response to the host had made the manager think we were skipped and overlooked because how me and my friend looked after an acid binge
we had just literally walked in and to this day i still boggle over how well i managed to speech check that one time on drugs

[Anonymous No.18282701]

>>18280742
Newfag in real life

[Anonymous No.18282705]

>>18281848
>>18282701
litchrally you guys

[Anonymous No.18282708]

>>18282705
That god damn cloud lookin' pretty sus fr fr no cap.

[Anonymous No.18282791]

>>18282587
thanks grandpa

[Anonymous No.18282818]

>>18275932
wtf, do you have to give a name in america? unironically never heard of this and it freaks me out, like do they also give you personalised ads and stuff or what?

[Anonymous No.18284496]

>>18282818
if you're on the internet at all you're getting personalized ads.

[Anonymous No.18284503]

Gerhard Jonas-Höll

[Anonymous No.18284588]

>>18280204
stay wrong + mald + seethe + ywnbaw

[Anonymous No.18284646]

>>18284588
wtf is "male"

[Anonymous No.18284687]

>>18284496
If the ads I see are supposed to target me they're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous No.18284714]

>>18284646
>wtf is "male"
want to try again, phoneposter?