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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 35 KB, 284x445, secretaardvark.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18234112 No.18234112 [Reply] [Original]

This might seem like im shilling but I am seriously addicted to this fucking stuff. I just got some in the mail and ate 15 KFC pieces with it and I almost jizzed my pants. I FUCKING LOVE SECRET AARDVARK

>> No.18234115

>>18234112
REDDIT KETCHUP SHILL! IT ISN'T A HOT SAUCE. IT IS A SALSA THAT THEY PUT IN A SMALL BOTTLE AND MARK UP 20X. IT'S A SCAM. ONE OF THE FIRST INGREDIENTS IS TOMATO LMFAO.

>> No.18234127

I FORGOT TO MENTION IT CONTAINS SEED OILS. IMAGINE THAT A SCAM THAT CONTAINS LITERAL POISON! WHY?

>> No.18234130

>>18234115
ITS DELICIOUS AND SPICY!

>> No.18234139

>>18234130
BUYER'S REMORSE SHILL. YOU GOT SCAMMED LMFAO. JUST MAKE THE SHIT YOURSELF IT'S SO FUCKING EASY AND AT LEAST 18X CHEAPER THAN GETTING SCAMMED. YOU DON'T NEED TO ADD POISONOUS SEED OILS TO YOUR HOMEMADE SALSA EITHER! DID YOU KNOW THAT?

>> No.18234153

Lol, we used to talk about SA all the time in hot sauce threads back in the day. It's good shit. For a moment I thought maybe the pendulum had swung back in the opposite direction and it had been so long since we had hot sauce shit posting that people actually forgot about it (or just weren't here). Then I opened the thread... I swear we used to be able to have nice things.

>> No.18234174

>>18234153
I bought some green secret aardvark because it was at walmart and memed to hell here, and it's pretty good, shame some reddit posts ruined it for some people.

>> No.18234182

>>18234115
>reddit ketchup
kek i'm saving that one

>> No.18234192

>>18234174
>>18234153
They're not memed here. They are shilled here by the company that makes the garbage. There's a good chance they pay hiroshimoot to shill on this board.

Take a step back and think of what it is. It truly is a salsa marketed as a hot sauce with a steep markup over normal salsa. It sucks as a hot sauce and is only mediocre as a salsa.

Imagine paying 17 dollars usd for 16oz of salsa. It better be the best shit in the world, but guess what? It isn't. Not even close to being worth that much.

>> No.18234216

>>18234192
>shilled here by the company
Holy shit, do you actually think that one anon who used to make the 'varkin! threads or whatever with the 80's aesthetic was actually a shill? You can literally try looking up their advertising and there's nothing like that. It was obviously some autist who made like 3 images and tried to force it as a meme. Say what you will, but it was much better than the soyjak garbage.

>> No.18234239

>>18234192
it was like 5-6 dollars though. I'm sorry but this product is not worth getting worked up about, it tastes pretty alright. i probably won't buy again but i don't regret buying

>> No.18234247

>>18234239
>>18234216
I've been paying close attention to these threads and they are 100% shill threads. No doubt about it.

Fight the good fight and destroy all obnoxious shills. It's fun.

>> No.18234267

>>18234247
shut it down guys, this sleuth has us figured out

>> No.18234286
File: 1.03 MB, 1440x2205, Screenshot_20220814-172433_Amazon Shopping.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18234286

>>18234267
>>18234239
Scaaaaaaaam. Imagine paying 15-20 dollars for 16oz of salsa. Lmfao.

>> No.18234372
File: 103 KB, 396x396, hot_sauce_fag.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18234372

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>> No.18234453

>>18234286
I was going to call you out on using fucking Amazon to price grocery items, but $15 for 2 bottles honestly isn't that terrible of a mark-up. It's around $6 at the grocery store. If you want to make fun of something make fun of the people buying the Hot Ones™ sauces for like $30 after shipping.

>> No.18234460

>>18234112
I like it too. Don't care about the trolls or shills. It has a neutral flavor, good heat and doesn't really overpower other flavors in the food.

>> No.18234465

>>18234453
Hot ones sauce isn't shilled on here. Simple as.

>>18234460
Do you like getting scammed as well?

>> No.18234471

>>18234216
Faggot if you don't think shit gets shilled here constantly you're either a shill yourself or a clueless tourist retard that visits this site once a month

>> No.18234481

>>18234465
Ok recommend me a versatile sauce, most of the popular stuff overpowers the flavors of the food with vinegar or garlic or mexican taste.

>> No.18234521

>>18234481
Make your own. It sounds like you want something oddly specific and weirdly bland for a hot sauce or a salsa, so just making your is probably going to be your best option. And! You won't get scammed either!

>> No.18234536

>>18234471
The only things that get shilled here are a few YT channels. Secret Aardvark isn't going to pay someone to post here, and neither is any big fast food chain for that matter.

>> No.18234551

>>18234286
again, i bought it for 6 dollars at walmart. imagine getting getting angry that someone online bought a sauce

>> No.18234667

>>18234112
I knew the guy who made that sauce. I went to a Halloween party at Scott's place and he had this room cordoned off with DO NOT CROSS police tape. He got really drunk and someone pulled out a glass bowl and he smoked methamphetamines in front of everyone. He started clenching his jaw really hard and talking a lot. Someone complimented a painting in his living room and he started talking about how he bought it from a SS officer's great grandson. Then one weird quiet guy started talking to him about Hitler and stuff and Scott got up and ran to the room and unblocked it then he ran back to the living room and I'm talking about sprinting back and forth. He ushered me and several other people into that room and started picking things up and pointing things out and explaining the history behind them. Needless to say I was extremely uncomfortable. Scott had like 20 bayonet knives with nazi markings on them. He had several old, tattered swastika flags. The propeller of a Nazi biplane was hanging on the wall. He showed us a rack of real uniforms and he boasted about meeting one of the Nazis that wore it. Most people left the room, and some even left the party at this point. I tried to walk out, but Scott blocked the door and made me help him and that weird guy pull a war chest into the living room. It had to have weighed at least 300lb. I tried to get Scott to calm down and mellow out but he accused me of being a communist which I denied. I tried to excuse myself because I was understandably uncomfortable being there. He opened the chest and pulled out a collection of Luger pistols. He made me sit down and at some point he smoked another bowl of meth. I was frozen as he pulled out pistol after pistol each with several Nazi markings on the barrels and frames. He said they were all matching serial #s and the whole chest was worth $450,000.

>> No.18234895
File: 2.10 MB, 2329x3105, Taco 8 14 22 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18234895

>>18234481
>recommend me a versatile sauce
I happened to see this thread while I was making some food, so I decided to take a pic for you. I'm not saying these are my top three hot sauces or anything, but they're all good and versatile. Shit dude, just go somewhere other than Walmart and try a few things. There are tons of hot sauces out there that aren't vinegar based or "too Mexican" (whatever the fuck that means).

>> No.18236122
File: 119 KB, 1024x768, 51726910.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18236122

>>18234112
Wow it started in a predominately jewish area in Oregon, SO BASED! Keep calm and Keep Varkin sisters!

>> No.18236197

>>18234372
The 'IPA' at the end was an icing on a cake.
: )

>> No.18236231

>>18234453
>$30
Hot sauce probably a better investment than cash rn due to inflation
Plus those sauces are LIT!!!

>> No.18236239

>>18234667
comfy story

>> No.18236533

>>18236231
>those sauces are LIT!!!
I would actually like to try their basic level one sauce. From everything I've heard it's actually pretty solid, but not for what they charge. When they're selling it for $4 a bottle at the grocery store I'll pick some up, but until they reach that point they can fuck off.

>> No.18236871

My boss ordered like 10 bottles of this shit and passed it out at work. It was pretty good. Kind of unusual flavor profile. Doesn't go with everything but it's good. Makes Chik fil A sandwiches 5x better.

>> No.18238022

>>18234286
>Imagine paying 15-20 dollars
>posts image that clearly has lower price on it
You know you don't have to buy the first listing, you can scroll down

>> No.18238024

>>18234372
>someone typed this
>someone still posting it
Big oof, faggot

>> No.18238036

I lived in Portland for a while and this stuff was everywhere. I thought it was pretty bland. It doesn't really have a distinct flavor.

>> No.18238046

>>18238036
>doesn't really have a distinct flavor
What is this even supposed to mean?

>> No.18238849

>>18234112
>This might seem like im shilling
I'm so sick of the YEARS of you people shilling this shit on /ck/ that I've vowed never, EVER to buy any.

>> No.18238854

>>18238046
"tastes like ketchup" basically

>> No.18238958

>>18238854
But ketchup has a very distinct flavor, and doesn't taste anything like Secret Aardvark. I'm guessing what you really mean is that it's not very spicy, which is true. Hotheads say the same thing about Sriracha, even though that doesn't taste anything like ketchup either, but I guess every sauce that isn't 10 billion Scovilles tastes like ketchup to you if it's red and slightly sweet.

>> No.18238966

I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! PLEASE GO OUT AND TRY SECRET AARDVARK!

>> No.18238971

>>18234192
For anyone wondering, the way shilling on 4chan works is that companies pay a shill contracting firm that handles the actual posting/manpower/supposedly knows the lay of the site. That’s why you see the same morons in every single shill thread.

>> No.18238990

>>18238971
The only "same morons" I see in this thread are the soyjak posters, the "it's an overpriced salsa" fag, and the guy who comes into every thread and calls it ketchup. That's some pretty fucking bad advertising unless you come to 4chan just to do the opposite of what everyone here is saying.

>> No.18239004

>>18238990
>within mere minutes, on a slow board, a shill is already trying to discredit the post
The shill contracting firm pays the mods/hiro to be able to post here. That’s why their off topic threads only get deleted when they aren’t going as planned, and mostly why the mods ignore off topic reports. From what I’ve noticed though, the mods seem to get a kick out of anons abusing the shills and usually allow it even when the shills start reporting it.

>> No.18239029

>>18239004
So now you're saying I'm a shill because I happened to be sitting in front of my computer monitoring the thread? Lol. I'm sitting in front of my computer because I'm a regular anon who has nothing to do but waste the entire day here. A paid advertiser would make a post or two and then maybe come back hours later to bump the thread once or twice, if at all. But you never answered my question. Who, in this thread, are the "same morons" you see posting in every SA thread? The Halloween pasta guy? Or maybe the 2 or 3 anons who've actually tried it and basically said, "yeah, it's okay"?

>> No.18239032
File: 26 KB, 429x410, 1528555169877.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18239032

>>18238022
You're actually retarded. Should I bother explaining or do you know this already?

>> No.18239038

>>18238971
>>18239004
And as a little more food for thought, the shills will employ various strategies, like starting pointless threads to clog the catalog (and draw more attention to their target threads), post 250 times in a 300 post thread, imitate the brand’s competitors and sandbag in a way that flatters the target brand. And on and on, the most basic manipulation strategies. But that all makes perfect sense, given that the shills are exclusively poor third worlders with limited English. Most use cheap (or free) translation software and you can tell because their posts will have bizarre grammar and even stranger formatting. Weird line spacing, weird indentations, overall mismatched word choice, can’t figure out prepositions. They stand out like sore thumbs. If you ask me their zoo keeper should open up his wallet and hire some smarter monkeys.

>> No.18239041

>>18238958
Ssshhhhh you're going to embarrass him

>> No.18239043

>>18239029
Why are you doing damage control here if you aren’t a shill lmao goofy nigger

>> No.18239046
File: 771 KB, 2042x2527, SWA.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18239046

>>18239032
Silly
Sure.

>> No.18239065
File: 1.70 MB, 4032x3024, ck starter pack.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18239065

Reminder that /ck/ was a Secret Aardvark board before the memes and shitposting started.

>> No.18239084

>>18238990
I like to practice my rhetoric on shill threads. Two birds one stone. Simple as. I should try to think of some new material probably...

>> No.18239101

>>18239084
What about working in some limericks anon, format restrictions can often lead to novel ideas and material.

>> No.18239141

>>18238971
>>18239004
>>18239038
Based dimedropper

>> No.18239147

>>18234895
>"too Mexican" (whatever the fuck that means).
It means he doesn't like Cholula, which is usually the answer for generic good hot sauce.

>> No.18239149
File: 116 KB, 379x568, 1611944896938.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18239149

>>18239046
It's $15-20 because you need to account for shipping. $14.99 is not the final price. I'm surprised you were able to solve the captcha, great work!

>> No.18239156

>>18239149
Everybody has prime at this point, anon.

>> No.18239164

>>18239156
>Buying Goyslop through Amazog
Did you give them all of your genetic data too?

>> No.18239171

>>18239164
>goyslop
Yeah, you don't get to act superior to anyone.

>> No.18239181

>>18239171
No need. I don't have act, I simply am. But do go on eating your corn syrup.

>> No.18239188
File: 1.99 MB, 300x225, 1524035958945.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18239188

>>18239156
Your retardation is confirmed. Practice your reading comprehension skills. Good luck, kiddo!

>> No.18239195

>>18239101
Not a bad idea. Ty.

>> No.18239200

>>18239188
>14.99 is not the final price
>you need to account for shipping
>amazon listing clearly shows free shipping with prime
?

>> No.18239232

>>18239200
How are you the first person to point this out. Has fucking /pol/ retardation just seeped into every corner of this godforsaken place by now?

>> No.18240783

>>18239232
?

>> No.18241322

>>18239181
Keep being a paranoid schizo