Buttering toast

[Anonymous No.18139487]

Why does it always turn out like this?

[Anonymous No.18139503]

Bait? Or do you want us to explain how to butter bread properly

[Anonymous No.18139505]

Apparently you have the coordination of a gibbon

[Anonymous No.18139511]

>>18139487
first off, your bread is not toasted

secondly, you need keep the butter in room temperature for a while or if you're adventureous you can microwave it for a bit

[Anonymous No.18139513]

>>18139487
You have to run the mop handle under hot water first

[Anonymous No.18139520]

>>18139503
The butter never melts enough to be spread.

>>18139511
>first off, your bread is not toasted
It's warm. Look at the edges where the butter melted. I've toasted it fully brown, but the same thing happens.
>secondly, you need keep the butter in room temperature for a while or if you're adventureous you can microwave it for a bit
How much time do you think I have in the mornings?

[Anonymous No.18139524]

>>18139520
Your bread is too light and fluffy.

[Anonymous No.18139536]

>>18139487
did you toast it using moonlight?

[Anonymous No.18139539]

>>18139520

Microwaving butter takes less than 30 seconds. You need softer butter. However you wanna get there is up to you but that's how you solve your problem.

[Anonymous No.18139544]

>>18139520
just toast is properly, moron

[Anonymous No.18139550]

>>18139539
I wouldn’t microwave butter for more than 10 seconds and only then if I was using all of it
That being said you can just put pads of butter on the toast and microwave it for a few seconds and spread it as long as you watch it and don’t vaporize it like a retard

[Anonymous No.18139567]

>>18139520
>It's warm. Look at the edges where the butter melted.
It's not warm enough. Just because the outer surface area is warm enough does not mean everything else is.

[Anonymous No.18139570]

>he doesn't keep a stick of butter OUTSIDE OF THE FRIDGE like a normal person

[Anonymous No.18139614]

>>18139520
just use a butter bell or something similar, butter doesnt need to be refrigerated

https://www.amazon.com/Porcelain-Butter-Keeper-Ceramic-Spreadable/dp/B08K8YYSJ3/ref=asc_df_B08K8YYSJ3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=475771740364&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9269288679069985053&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9018832&hvtargid=pla-1066460134697&psc=1

[Anonymous No.18139649]

>>18139487
You can leave a stick of butter out on the counter in a butter dish or tupperware container. Then you'll always have spreadable butter.

[Anonymous No.18139666]

>>18139570
>keep a stick of butter OUTSIDE OF THE FRIDGE
do americans really?

[Anonymous No.18139675]

>summer
>air conditioning is running
>butter out on the counter is rock hard

I hate summer for this

[Anonymous No.18139689]

>>18139666
I think it's a Southern/Midwest thing. They keep it out because they legitimately use butter for every single meal so it never gets too soggy.

[Anonymous No.18139726]

>cut a slab of butter
>put on plate
>fill a mug with boiling water
>let it warm up a bit then dispose the water
>put hot steamy mug on top of butter plate
>wait a couple of seconds
wa la
soft spreadable butter in less than a minute

[Anonymous No.18139731]

>>18139689
>so it never gets to soggy
Are you daft?
>I think it's a Southern/Midwest thing. They keep it out because they legitimately use butter for every single meal
Butter will go rancid as opposed to culturing bacteria.
You can safely store butter on the counter for weeks if not months as long as you limit light, air, and excessive heat contact.

[Anonymous No.18139733]

OH LOOK. ANOTHER DUMB PLEBBITOR THREAD.

[Anonymous No.18139734]

>>18139689
I've never seen anyone not store their butter in the fridge here

[Anonymous No.18139736]

>>18139487
bait or op is gigaretarded, as a kid i didnt even need training i could spread it on untoasted toast easily on my first try

[Anonymous No.18139811]

>>18139726
it's 'voila' newfag

[Anonymous No.18139818]

>>18139487
do you know what the 'toast' part means in buttered toast?

[Anonymous No.18139829]

>>18139567
>It's not warm enough.
Buddy, I've toasted this shit til it was fully brown, many times. I didn't feel like eating char today. I've NEVER been able to get the butter fully melted on the goddamn shit, no matter how "warm" it is. The bread does not retain enough warmth to melt butter.

[Anonymous No.18139834]

>>18139614
yuck

[Anonymous No.18139840]

>>18139726
>>fill a mug with boiling water
takes like 10 minutes to boil water

[Anonymous No.18139845]

>>18139818
The bread had just come out of the toaster. Tell me again how I don't know what I'm doing, pleb

[Anonymous No.18139850]

>>18139811
>Voila
>calling others newfags
Great bait.

[Anonymous No.18139855]

>>18139829
Buy grass feed butter. The better quality the softer the butter is due to higher Omega 3 content. Shitty butter, to cold storage, to little toasting.

[Anonymous No.18139858]

>>18139840
must suck not having an electric kettle

[Anonymous No.18139860]

>>18139726
>>18139731
>>18139734
>keeping butter in the fridge
you know the purpose behind butter, right?
>pic related is your brain on refrigerated butter

[Anonymous No.18139866]

>>18139845
You don't know what you're doing. 'Toast' is the name of a process as well as a product of that process. The hot bread in your picture has not been toasted, it has merely been heated up. Therefore, it is not toast

[Anonymous No.18139867]

just buy whipper butter you fucking morons

[Anonymous No.18139922]

>>18139539
don't do this. microwaving butter makes it explode. microwave your knife instead.

[Anonymous No.18140001]

>>18139734
I didn't know you could keep it outside either until a couple of years ago. I keep the box in the fridge and always have a stick out now.

[Anonymous No.18140018]

>>18139487
If you're too lazy to let your butter sit out a little bit or toss it in the microwave, let it sit on the warm toast for 30 seconds before trying to spread it. The heat of the bread will melt the butter.

[Anonymous No.18140175]

>>18139734
Where's here? I live in the Northeast and I never seen anybody store it outside the fridge.

[Anonymous No.18140184]

>>18139860
I thought the purpose was to make my toast taste buttery

[Anonymous No.18140185]

>>18139860
A masterpiece

[Anonymous No.18140188]

>>18139733
What's plebbitor?

[Anonymous No.18140335]

>>18140175
Reading Comprehension

[Anonymous No.18140432]

Put pieces of butter on bread, toast in oven, toasty brown edges around soft, creamy areas where the butter melted. Butter your bread before you toast

[Anonymous No.18140463]

>>18139487
>microwaved bread
>toast
damn, i know white folks be scared of crunchy shit after the holocaust, but isn't this taking paranoia a bit too far?

[Anonymous No.18140640]

>>18139487
You have three problems

- Your bread is not bread and can't withstand any pressure
- your bread is not toasted (hot) enough
- you aren't letting your butter soften up a bit before putting it on

[Anonymous No.18140662]

Midwesterner here. I keep a stick out in a butter keeper on the countertop while the other sticks are in the fridge.

[Anonymous No.18140727]

>>18139520
>The butter never melts enough to be spread.
then you aren't using butter.

[Anonymous No.18140849]

>>18140640
>- Your bread is not bread
It's bread.

[Anonymous No.18140852]

>>18140727
>then you aren't using butter.
It's butter.

[Anonymous No.18140861]

>>18139487
You can't butter toast if you don't have any toast.

[Anonymous No.18140880]

>>18139487
Cut the butter paper-thin so the heat of the toast melts through it, dumbass.

[Anonymous No.18140885]

>>18139666
You have a small amount on the counter ready for use and then the rest you store in the fridge long term. Simple

[Anonymous No.18140919]

Holy mother of Mary. If you can't butter bread then stay away from literally everything else on the planet.

[Anonymous No.18140956]

>>18139487
You should just switch to margarine.

[Anonymous No.18140959]

>>18139520
>How much time do you think I have in the mornings?
We got ourselves a pussy over here

[Anonymous No.18140960]

>>18140956
Based and flavorpilled

[Anonymous No.18140979]

>>18140960
>margarine
>flavor
I don’t think so.

[Anonymous No.18141009]

>>18140956
I grew up with margarine, which is probably why I never learned to spread real butter, which is much harder and less meltable.

[Anonymous No.18141046]

>>18139487
For me it's the knife. For some reason when I use a knife with a smooth edge then it doesn't spread well, but when the knife has some minor serrations then it works.

[Anonymous No.18141302]

Trying to spread refrigerated butter on bread is melanated behavior on the level of washing chicken

[Anonymous No.18141311]

>>18139829
Your grasp of English is struggling. The subject is the butter. Not the bread. You don't heat bread to melt butter. You let butter come to room temperature so you can spread it even on untoasted bread.

[Anonymous No.18141331]

>>18141311
Butter must be kept refrigerated. So says the words on the packaging.

[Anonymous No.18141346]

>>18141331
>Butter must be kept refrigerated.
>must
Wrong.
>So says the words on the packaging.
So does the packaging for steak, chicken, and many other food items. But you don't pull those out of the fridge and eat them at fridge temperature, do you?

[Anonymous No.18141354]

>>18139487
Well...
First off--THAT'S NOT TOAST.
OP is a MASSIVE FAGGOT!
You know my favorite seasoning for sausage**

[Anonymous No.18141356]

>>18141354
You didn't post toast.

[stil seasoning for FAGGOT OP No.18141357]

>>18139503
FPBP

[stil seasoning for FAGGOT OP No.18141360]

>>18141356
WAT!?!
to be fair--- it IS mostly carbonised wheat gluten--But...

[stil seasoning for FAGGOT OP No.18141365]

We can at least have some Summer fun in this retarded Bread.

[Anonymous No.18141367]

>>18141360
You posted burnt bread, a ruined piece of what used to be food. Not toast.

[Anonymous No.18141371]

>>18141365
6 will be the best if you want to eat the skin
9 will be the best if you're willing to peel off the skin

[Anonymous No.18141375]

>>18139503
>Or do you want us to explain how to butter bread properly
this one, please

[Anonymous No.18141385]

>>18139840
you're having breakfast, you're supposed to have readily available hot water

[stil seasoning for FAGGOT OP No.18141388]

>>18141367
Fair enough--But I'm NOT OP the cocksucker--
Tell me, anon, do YOU have problems buttering bread at the age of 18?

[Anonymous No.18141391]

>>18141371
>food for the fire in the burnt sugar-sheath
I can get with that.

[Anonymous No.18141392]

>>18141385
>you're having breakfast, you're supposed to have readily available hot water
I believe you have just purveyed misinformation to me.

[Anonymous No.18141396]

>>18141371
Rotating for a nice golden skin all the way around is really tasty, but takes so much time.
Whereas letting it catch on fire is so quick.
And then there's the weird choice, where you let it catch on fire, burn out, and then eat it with the skin. The burnt sugar skin has a nice smoky tang.

[Anonymous No.18141398]

>>18141388
I'm 37, you little shit.

[Anonymous No.18141403]

>>18141396
>a nice smoky tang.
dry, flaky non food item.

[Anonymous No.18141408]

>>18141398
I got you beat by a generation, you Mill faggot--
>imagine not knowing hopw to take care of yourself, let alone BUTTER BREAD--at the age of of 37--you BIG SHIT.
FITE ME FAGGOT.

[Anonymous No.18141414]

>>18141408
Bread may not be meant to be buttered. We are probing new information in this thread, now that the large hadron collider has been running for 3 months now.

[Anonymous No.18141417]

>>18141398
CUNT
>have another (you) faggot...
I PWN YOU nxt...

[Anonymous No.18141419]

>>18141414
>141414
Gotta check that shit-even if spurious at best.

[Anonymous No.18141434]

>>18139487
take your stick of butter and just use this

[Anonymous No.18141447]

>>18141434
>Based Euro-Cheese cutter
They really ARE a wizard at cheeses

[Anonymous No.18141692]

>>18140727
Unless you keep your house at like 65 or something, butter at room temperature is very soft and will deform at barely any touch.

[Anonymous No.18142197]

>>18141365
#7 for me please

[Anonymous No.18142232]

>>18139487
Hold the butter above the toaster and let it soften a bit. Just make sure not to let any drip onto your toaster.

[Anonymous No.18142504]

>>18139520
>>18139487
Drop a chunk of butter on the toast, wait a minute and then spread.

[Anonymous No.18142783]

>>18139487
Your butter was cold and your bread wasn't toasted enough.

[Anonymous No.18142784]

>>18139731
We do this with SALTED butter, so it doesn't go rancid.

[Anonymous No.18142804]

>>18142784
No, the salt in salted butter is there for flavor when using it directly on your food like this. Unsalted butter is sold for baking, when salt needs to be better controlled. Highly fatty foods are pretty bacteria-resistant as they are.

[Anonymous No.18142816]

>>18142804
Salted butter was specifically invented to increase shelf life in the time before refrigeration.

[Anonymous No.18142817]

>>18142816
No.

[Anonymous No.18142822]

>>18142817
Modern butter is, of course, far less salty than the original salted butter.

[Anonymous No.18142830]

>>18139520
I know retards like you think everything has to go into the refrigirator but if you aren't in some tropical climate, butter is fine to be left at room temperature for like 2 weeks and usually only spoils if you dirtied it with breadcrumps or the like on your knive.

[Anonymous No.18142836]

>>18142816
That's nice and all but I like salty butter none the less.
A shame the salted butter in my bitch country is more bland than normal butter arround the mediterraneans, where I could live on sliced bread and butter alone since it's so good.

[Anonymous No.18142851]

>>18142830
>types "knive" as the singular form of "knives"
>says *I'm* the retard

[Anonymous No.18142860]

>>18142851
I'm an ESL, what is your excuse for being too dumb to butter a toast?

[Anonymous No.18142868]

>>18142860
In my America, we don't make excuses, we seek solutions, which is why I started this thread.

[Anonymous No.18142872]

>>18142860

In America, we don't make excuses, we seek solutions, which is why I started this thread.

[Anonymous No.18142885]

>>18139675
being able to get your house to the temperature of a fridge when everyone is dying because of the heat and still complaining

[Anonymous No.18142893]

>>18139840
Get a kettle and it'll take 2 minutes

[Anonymous No.18142897]

>>18140463
what does holocaust have to do with whites

[Anonymous No.18142898]

>>18142885
>when everyone is dying because of the heat
On, no!! You poor lil' baby! You're going to melt when the temperature finally hits 33 (91.4*F). Are you made of butter?

[Anonymous No.18142903]

>>18142898
Yes the British are made of greasy and lard.

[Anonymous No.18142909]

>>18142872
Yeah we told you several ways but you are just a fucking shitposter trying to have his funny butter the toast thread aren't you.

[Anonymous No.18142912]

>>18142909
I have yet to see a single piece of well-buttered toast posted by ANYONE in the thread. I'm fully confident that everyone giving "advice" is a hypocrite or just espousing folklore about how they think it works.

[Anonymous No.18142931]

>>18142898
>doesn't know heat resistance depends on the place you and your ancestors were born
>doesn't know how much humidity (which is very high in Britain) affects how people feel and react to higher temperatures
you're probably a yankee with just enough negro and mexican blood that heat doesn't affect you at all

[Anonymous No.18142951]

>>18142931
I don't even understand the angle of your "attack" here.
>I'm a racially pure Anglo!
>so I can't tough out the heat, but that's OK because we Anglos are pre-determined to be weaker than the browns
>y-you're probably a brown, huh!!!
Bro, I didn't even bring up race. Have you never heard of air-conditioning? Even a cheap or old HVAC system on its last legs does not even struggle at those temperatures.