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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 48 KB, 763x430, jacks_drowning_in_1000_island_all_you_can_eat_salad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17423969 No.17423969 [Reply] [Original]

I eat salad but I can't lose weight!

>> No.17423972

>>17423969
Dipshit

>> No.17423989

>>17423969
I've spent months trying to find a salad I can eat without being miserable and I can't do it. I don't drown stuff in dressing but I do add so much meat it may as well not be a salad. Saladbros what do I do?

>> No.17423990
File: 2.71 MB, 844x446, Jack corn dog.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17423990

Ja/ck/ thread?

>> No.17423994

>>17423969
Lel

>> No.17423997

>chicken """"""""""""""""""salad"""""""""""""""""
>pasta """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""salad""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
>fruit """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""salad""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

>> No.17424004
File: 44 KB, 651x588, 1564492079873.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424004

>>17423990
gross

>> No.17424006

>>17423969
There's a limit to any condiment, of course, but I'm not going to fault people for dressing up their salads - raw veggies taste like the fucking ground, plain and simple, until you apply a sauce

>> No.17424008
File: 364 KB, 1280x720, Jack pie.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424008

Anyone up for some pie for dessert?

>> No.17424011

>>17423997
strictly speaking a salad is just a mish-mash of stuff. you could make a "salad" of kidney, brain, and spinal chunks if you wanted.

>> No.17424017

>>17423969
Why do Americans think they can lose weight by drowning salad in dressing? This isn't just a Jack thing. I see Americans post pictures like this all of the time.

>> No.17424019
File: 2.76 MB, 1280x720, Jack dip.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424019

Perfect for your super bowl party or late night snacks.

>> No.17424043
File: 115 KB, 718x539, 96F008F1-7D75-4A32-BACF-01C507ABF35E.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424043

>>17423989
I make salads with ingredients I like eating . I don't care if they go together or not . If I enjoy it I do it . I eat a lot of salads .

>> No.17424049
File: 233 KB, 666x1101, dining with jack.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424049

Welcome to Ja/ck/'s "The Best Restaurant You'll Ever Eat At", what will you order today?

>> No.17424052

>>17424019
Is this a real thing people do?

>> No.17424059

>>17424052
jack doesn't count as a person, so no

>> No.17424066
File: 2.47 MB, 640x360, raw burg jack.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424066

>>17424052
Only the best Youtube chefs do so.

>> No.17424076

>>17424066
i've seen this a thousand times and i never noticed how thick that tomato slice is

>> No.17424077

>>17424049
hahaha this is awesome

>> No.17424081

>>17424049
>without regard for taste or balance
You found a place where I could be a cook , lol .

>> No.17424084

>>17424049
This reminds me of that "scandal" from years back where a bunch of self-important food reviewers came to an exclusive dining event and at the end it was revealed that they were served Michelina's frozen dinners. There was a NY Times article about it lol

>> No.17424098

>>17424011
I'll shoot you in the head with a buckshot and turn you into a brain salad hows that sound

>> No.17424108

>>17424098
I think you're an unbalanced individual that probably shouldn't be online, but then, that's 99% of people on 4chan

>> No.17424132
File: 1.30 MB, 3024x3024, 9839B5D6-6DE3-45A9-ABCD-99C3DE9D9845.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424132

>>17423990
I want to be Jack’s toilet slave

>> No.17424139
File: 11 KB, 320x223, 5F85F038-AE9C-4EF8-99E8-A486C0C97B16.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424139

Is not being able to watch webm's an ipotato thing or am I stupid , or both ?

>> No.17424140

>>17424139
both

>> No.17424147
File: 3.99 MB, 400x400, 1643212674626.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424147

>>17424139
Iphones cost more and do less.

>> No.17424148

>>17424140
I thought that might be the case , lol . Are all apple users not able to see them ?

>> No.17424153

>>17423969
healthiest ketard meal

>> No.17424164

>>17424147
iphones let you restrict app's network usage which android doesn't

>> No.17424166

>>17424139
Download VLC on your iPotato and you can watch WEBMs

>> No.17424170

>>17424164
yes it does

>> No.17424178

>>17424170
No it doesn't unless you root. Which effectively makes it not android.

>> No.17424185

>>17424166
huh, I honestly didn't know vlc even had a mobile app. thanks anon

>> No.17424195

>>17424178
what are you talking about? i literally just did it in like 30 seconds

>> No.17424196

>>17423969
If you switched that dressing to blue cheese, and got rid of carbohydrate laden toppings like croutons, you would be okay and still lose weight. Ketoking for life

>> No.17424200

>>17423969
Is this keto?

>> No.17424202

>>17424196
As far as I'm concerned Thousand Island and Blue cheese are both liquid fat so what's the difference?

>> No.17424234

>>17423969
i recognize this tasty keto salad

>> No.17424239
File: 1.02 MB, 2400x3600, DDA1D4A4-9E03-4089-BE26-E4A9770A0B65.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424239

>>17424049
For starters I’ll take the no bean Bean Dip my Entree will be the rare McCormick Bag ‘N Season Chicken request antibiotics and my dessert will be hands down a double order of the famous Aunt Myrna’s Party Cheese Salad

>> No.17424242

>>17424195
Doesn't work for my version. Looked into it.

>> No.17424284

>>17423969
Take my now ex-girlfriend and her parents out to a buffet restaurant back in 2019 to celebrate her landing a new job. Her father is of average build but the mother is a bigger lady. Luckily their daughter takes after her father than her mother.
I watch as her mother makes a giant salad that is less than 10% of salad and 90% everything else available.
This was a woman who started whining during our meal that it was difficult for her to lose weight. Well no shit you fat fuck. You are eating a plate of salad dressing and croutons.

>> No.17424302

>>17424049
if i had to choose i would pick
>tomato
>antipasto sausage skewers
>pulled pork sandwiches
>cheesecake
and i think i might make it out alive

>> No.17424318

>>17424166
I'll have to do some research on how to use it .

>> No.17424334

>>17424239
Every woman with her body type should wear these shirts

>> No.17424352

>>17424202
Thousand island dressings are full of sugar. The majority of blue cheese dressings are relatively low carb. Same goes for decent ranch dressings.

>> No.17424354
File: 508 KB, 1572x3000, 91A76CE9-3D8D-47B7-86D1-479B299A82A5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424354

>>17424334
Agreed

>> No.17424364

>>17424239
On one hand I want to sniff her farts, on the other hand she is anorexic as fuck, which means her farts are probably even juicier

>> No.17424488

>>17424147
when my kitten is being rowdy i remember these videos and i feel more relaxed

>> No.17424499

>>17424318
It's not hard to use it man.

>> No.17424507

>>17424284
Why'd you break up?

>> No.17424526

>>17424499
Then it should only take me a few months to figure it out .

>> No.17424527

>>17424507
I have this weird incest kink where I get turned on if... you know what, I don't really wanna talk about it, but long story short, my mother farted on her and after I told her it made me hard she broke up with me.

>> No.17424548

>>17423989
>I've spent months trying to find a salad
>a salad
Stop making the same salad over and over. Start with a bed of lettuce or whatever leafy green you want, shit you can even use broccoli. Then top with tomatoes, cucumber, chickpeas, capsicum, sprouts, apsparagus, red onion, apple, pear, whatever. Then if you want things like feta, crumbled blue cheese, olives, avocado, sun dried tomatoes, use them as a garnish because they're calorie dense. Then have a couple of boiled eggs, some tuna, sardines, or chicken with it to give you some more protein. As for dressing olive oil and your favourite vinegar (white wine, red wine, balsamic, apple cider etc) If that's not enough have a slice of bread or some boiled potato on the side.

>> No.17424627

>>17424364
Sexist much?

>> No.17424628

>>17424548
Huh?

>> No.17424710
File: 45 KB, 700x491, a6bpo79_700b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424710

>>17424628
Instead of trying to find 'a' salad, learn how to just make salad.

>> No.17424800
File: 198 KB, 1600x900, C5944229-3030-4A2C-8D8B-EFAD08443970.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17424800

>>17424364
Exhaling those vinegary brass would be heaven

>> No.17425091

>>17424800
based

>> No.17425108

>>17424066
fake af

>> No.17425807

>>17425108
its not

>> No.17425844

>>17424800
hol' up, where's hussein?

>> No.17425857

>>17425844
dead

>> No.17426543

>>17423989
There is nothing wrong with meat in a salad.

>> No.17426603

>>17423989

Make your own salad from fresh veggies. That will always be better than whatever bullshit that comes in a bag. This is what I make for myself, and I think it is delicious:

>Butter Lettuce
>Kale
>Spinach
>Sunset grape tomatoes
>Ken's Simply Vinaigrette Dressing Italian
>sprinkle with cheddar cheese, but that is optional

>> No.17426684

>>17423990
Wtf is wrong with this nigger

>> No.17426723

>>17424527
Wat

>> No.17426773
File: 77 KB, 690x720, 1567277465488.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17426773

>>17424139

>> No.17427122
File: 51 KB, 612x408, 4al1dx.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17427122

>>17423990
The cold oil at the end always gets me

>> No.17427125
File: 118 KB, 720x404, 1594658877087.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17427125

>>17424139

>> No.17427127

>>17426723
You asked, bro.

>> No.17427141

>>17424800
Can someone post the one where saddam has a boner?

>> No.17427144

>>17427125
Fuck , you could be making fun of me but I have no idea because I can't get the stupid app to work !

>> No.17427261

>>17426773
Enjoy your subpar software updates and 5000mah batteries that don’t last a full day

>> No.17427284

>>17424488
that is a ferret or a stoat or something, not a cat

>> No.17427299

Based stealth ja/ck/ thread

>> No.17427309

>>17423989
>I've spent months trying to find a salad I can eat without being miserable
youre making yourself miserable, not the salad

>> No.17427312

>>17424043
based

>> No.17427314

>>17424242
>i cant
>no one can
welcome to the team you fucking autist

>> No.17427333

>>17424800
Fake and gay. I demand Saddam's boner

>> No.17427336
File: 98 KB, 712x642, sataniajeet_btfo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17427336

>>17426773
>>17427125
bojangles

>> No.17427342

>>17424052
I remember I was prescribed Ambien and I think I actually made something similar to that when I was fucked up on it. I only remember because I passed out on it.

>> No.17427364

I just overuse tomatoes. They're the best part of any salad.

>> No.17427391

those unhealthy salads are fucking amazing. I got a salad at a BBQ place once
>pulled pork, at least 4 oz.
>handful of cheddar cheese
>iceberg lettuce
>bbq ranch
god damn it was the best unhealthy salad I've had. makes me miss salad bars