Brazillian Steakhouses

[Anonymous No.17371755]

Have any of you bros ever been to one? Going to one this Saturday and it seems like it'll be awesome, the guys come by with unlimited meat whenever you flip your card to green.

[Anonymous No.17371759]

yes I have, yes they do and yes, it is

[Anonymous No.17371777]

>>17371755
If they are really good at what they do you will eat like a pig, anon. No joke. Be careful with the sides, they will have a lot to offer just for you to eat less meat. But they are also worth it, most of the time. So don't worry. I think you'll have a tremendous experience, anon.

[Anonymous No.17371783]

>>17371755
Yes it's good but not the one in your image. Both look blue rare and the picanha has way too much fat. Probably a trick to get you to stop eating sooner.

[Anonymous No.17371787]

>>17371755
Fogo de Chão?

[Anonymous No.17371790]

>>17371755
they bombard you early on in the meal and then stop coming around as much after awhile.

[Anonymous No.17371904]

>>17371755
They are great if you go to one that's busy

[Anonymous No.17371910]

>>17371787
Been to two locations of theirs. Overpriced, IMO.

>>17371790
At one place I used to go to, they did that but they also have a window that's kinda like a carving station where they'll slice it there for you if they don't get to your table in a timely manner.

>>17371755
Been to a few, yeah. Pretty good. And I say that as someone who doesn't eat much meat to begin with, especially not beef.
There are (were?) three of them downtown here, though two of those three are just different locs of the same chain, and another two in the Brazilian 'hood further north. At the one in the Brazilian area this one time, an enormous fight broke out and I was straining to understand wtf the bitches fighting were arguing about. I dont remember what it was, but I remember one bitch calling another a thief and a whore. Brazilian Portuguese is fucking horrible, by the way. One bitch ripped the other's earring out throwing her out of the restaurant. She then came to each table and comped us. It was a small place, so I guess they could afford the loss.
Anyway, yeah: good food.

[Anonymous No.17371914]

They're good but listen to this >>17371904 It's like a kebab place where you want them to be busy and putting new stuff up because they're actually using the old stuff.

[Anonymous No.17371931]

fucking jews just come by and slice you off a piece, who the fuck just wants to eat a slice then wait 4 minutes watching other people get slices till they finally make it back to you.

just leave the whole fuckin thing and give me my own knife you shifty fucking gypsies

[Anonymous No.17372119]

I went to one but they didnt have the sopa de macaco

0/10

[Anonymous No.17372314]

>>17372119
At mine, they just have a cooked monkey on a stick, and you ask for the body part you want.

[Anonymous No.17372518]

>>17371755
the pineapple is based

[Anonymous No.17372644]

>>17371755
They are fantastic, just watch your carbs and sides though if you want to maximise the meat

[Anonymous No.17373887]

my parents went to one in mexico at a resort but didn’t understand the card thing and thought that when they flipped it to red or whatever they’d get the bill and have to go so they kept it green the whole time. They’d get a bunch of meat and be good for a while and just turned away all the dudes trying to give them more meat and the servers were getting annoyed lmao

[Anonymous No.17373943]

>>17372644
the sides are the best part tho

[Anonymous No.17374093]

>>17371755
I've noticed from browsing this board that Americans have this bizarre notion that the objective of a buffet is to cost the restaurant as much money as possible by maximising the amount of expensive stuff you eat, to the extent that they will tell you to avoid sides and eat nothing but meat. Personally when I'm at a buffet I like to enjoy my meal as much as possible, which means enjoying a balanced meal of main courses and side dishes. I can't imagine that filling your stomach with nothing but meat would even be a pleasant experience, I'd probably be sick of the monotony after just a few bites. It's very telling about your country that you have this mindset - rather than improving your own lot in life, you'd rather reduce someone else's

[Anonymous No.17374099]

>>17371755
I've been a few times, it really depends on who's cooking that night. It's just meat, so it matters a lot how well seasoned and cooked it is. If you have a good chef cooking the meat, it's awesome, if you have a shitty chef, then it's overcooked and underseasoned meat that's not worth the time and money.
Overall I wouldn't bother. If you want high quality meat go to a top tier steakhouse and just get a great steak.

[Anonymous No.17374329]

Went to a restaurant called Fazenda in Manchester that did something like this, I still think about that place to this day, you'll enjoy it for sure

[Anonymous No.17374859]

>>17374093
americans are brazilians have this weird notion that sides are for faggots
hate my countrymen

[Anonymous No.17374862]

>>17374859
>are
and

[Anonymous No.17374873]

i really enjoyed when I went. very classy joint, one of the best salad bars I’ve ever seen and delicious sides along with all the meats. a guy I know ate so much he burst his gallbladder though

[Anonymous No.17375433]

>>17374093
Meat tastes better than your shitty sides.

[Anonymous No.17376879]

Texas de Brazil is good despite the owners being neither Texan nor Brazilian

[Anonymous No.17377425]

>>17374329
40 albion shekels in a city full of junkies, foreigners and sexual deviants. Pass

[Anonymous No.17377431]

if there is even a hint that a restaurant is not white owned I will not patronize it.

[Anonymous No.17377539]

>>17376879
They opened up the first restaurant in Texas and they looked to a Brazillian guy for inspiration

[Anonymous No.17377911]

>>17371755
>Have any of you bros ever been to one?

Yes, but not for several years as the only one in my area was closed down as it turned out to be a front to launder drug cartel money. Probably a clue that it was authentically Brazilian.

they had a great dessert that was dates stuffed with cheese wrapped in bacon and served flaming with some fruit liqueur.

[Anonymous No.17377937]

>>17371755
I went for my 18th birthday in 2010 and I’m going against for the first time since in literally less than three weeks.

I’m gonna eat my weight in short ribs

[Anonymous No.17377976]

The one by me lets you pay by the pound instead or if you go late enough, you can get whatever you can fit into a foil takeout container for $7.99. Works for me, since I'm rarely in the mood to eat enough to make rodízio worth it.

[Anonymous No.17378016]

>>17371777
>>17371755
listen to 777, theres gona be rice and salads, fuck them, fill your plate with cheese and if they have like a tomato or squash soup thats pretty good. other than that only eat meat and gorge yourself until you keel over

[Anonymous No.17378029]

>>17371755
one of the things that I'd love to try
and some Argentinian beef, too
SA seems to know its shit when it comes to cooking

[Anonymous No.17378043]

>>17374093
mmm rice and salads mmm yummy YUMMY YES YUM YUM YES YUMMY YES YUM YUM

[Anonymous No.17378995]

>>17375433
I have eaten 1,5 pounds of meat in one sitting, it's fucking panful without sides to give color to the meal, regardless of how well cooked and seasoned the meat is.

[Anonymous No.17379063]

>>17371755
They usually just come with picanha because it's the cheapest. For every 10 picanha they will have a ribeye or filet

[Anonymous No.17380081]

>>17374093
It’s not about being expensive to them it’s about getting YOUR money’s worth. Why pay 50 bucks for 20 dollars of meat and 8 dollars of sides?

[Anonymous No.17381207]

>>17380081
because i ratter eat 20 dollars "worth" of meat and 8 dollars worth of sides as a pleasent meal instead of forcing myself to eat 30-40 dollars of meat in the most unappetizing way to consume them.
You do understand this a restaurant, you won't get your "moneys worth" regardless of how much you try and "game" the system, you likely wont be able to properly digest all the protein you stuff yourself with anyway so it's a waste regarless. Just have a nice meal for fucks sake, if you safe money cook at home. You don't go to restaurant to try and penny pinch

[Anonymous No.17381216]

>>17371755
It’s good when you are in the mood for trying a bunch of different cuts and meats.

South American grilling and BBQ is underrated IMO.

[Anonymous No.17381234]

>>17371755
Yes, only been to Fogo de Chao in Manhattan (I think Lexington and 73rd?) multiple times, very good.

Price is high, but it's a once in a while thing so might as well. Don't fill up on sides or bread, that's how they get you. That said, once you've had enough meat, get some pao de quejo it's really good.

I hate niggers

[Anonymous No.17381286]

>>17371755
Don't waste space on pork, chicken, or sausage. Beef and Lamb only.

[Anonymous No.17381358]

>>17371755
In the U.S, producing cattle is an industry. Cows are kept in pens, when they are fully grown they get slaughtered for McDonald’s and Burger King. In Brazil the cattle roam free in the countryside. When someone wants some beef a gaucho (Mexican cowboy) is dispatched to seize a cow via lasso. The cow is immediately slaughtered and the beef is as fresh as can be. When you dine at a Brazilian restaurant you can taste the difference

[Anonymous No.17381458]

>>17381358
In Brazil they destroy the rainforests and the cows literally sludge around in mud and their own shit. Fuck off with your propaganda.

[Anonymous No.17381489]

>>17381458
>rainforests
you are the one spreading propagandas here

[Anonymous No.17381532]

>>17381207
>ignores entire point of the restaurant
lmao are you even sentient?

[Anonymous No.17381545]

>>17381458
>Brazil cow belt being ANYWHERE NEAR THE RAINFOREST.
Lmao first worlders casually telling everyone else how to live.

[Anonymous No.17381564]

>>17371755
The one near me is $90 a head. Only go every once in awhile. The food is great and I overeat and regret it for awhile. Friend asks if I want to go a few months later. Yep, repeat. Don't sleep on some of those sauces and condiments. I have the chimichurri like green sauce that is the best I've every had.

[Anonymous No.17381635]

>>17371755
Hard to go wrong. I've been to dozens across the US. Salad bars are fantastic but choose wisely and get small amounts of whatever you choose. Cheese bread is even better when used to soak up meat juice. Sides (potatoes, bananas/plantains, soups) are usually just okay, nothing special there.

Don't let them rush you. Many places will have the servers bombard you as soon as they see you've returned from the salad bar. Sometimes they outright ignore the green/red card. The servers will act like that's when you refuse them but fuck them. Be selective and don't let them the shit meats on you (chicken, sausage, fatty and way too rich beef ribs). Hold out for the picanha, lamb, ribeye, bottom sirloin (pic related) or ehatever you like the most.

Papaya cream dessert is one of the best and most of them have it. Don't buy the shots or craft cocktails they might bring around. Have fun and enjoy

[Anonymous No.17381639]

>>17381635

[Anonymous No.17381643]

>>17381639

[Anonymous No.17381653]

>>17381635
raw
>>17381639
raw

[Anonymous No.17381730]

>>17381653
Pussy
>>17381653
Pussy

[Anonymous No.17381737]

>>17381358
no a gaúcho is a homosexual living in the south of brazil

[Anonymous No.17381857]

>>17381635
This fucking boomer mentality, jesus christ.
>going out to eat? here are my detailed tips on how to penny pinch and spend every second of your time out in some weird mind game with the servers while desperately trying to min/max the optimal portions of side dishes
Why is it so impossible for you people to just have a nice time without being so uptight and stingy that every rabbi in a 50 mile radius would be ashamed to be seen with you? I can't wait until you fuckers finally die off.

[Anonymous No.17381922]

>>17381857
more of a college/poorfag mentality really. it transcends generations.

[Anonymous No.17381949]

>>17381532
If you think you are going to "save" money by going to a foreign meat serving restaurant you are retarded simple as.
The point of the restaurant is to have a good meal, in this case with a wide selection of all you want to eat meats and other sides. I mean for fucks sake some of my vegetarian friends go to such places because their salad buffets are often more impressive than what they have in vegetarian restaurants.

[Anonymous No.17381975]

infinite, yes
extremely fatty and badly cooked, also yes

[Anonymous No.17382005]

>>17381639
why is it cut with the grain? chewy was it?

[Anonymous No.17382027]

>>17371755
Brazillian here, ground rules:
Have a healthy meal the day before, don't gorge yourself but don't skimp, you'll want your stomach mildly dilated.
If they use brazillian names for cuts then look out for picanha, it's the cream of the crop. If they offer argentinian stuff like chorizo go to town too, those white wannabes know their shit.
If you MUST get a side dish pick up a bit of salad and rice at most. Aurugula and balsamic are nice between meats. I usually don't get sides.
Please consider rare meat, even if you don't usually eat it, you haven't had real churrasco without eating rare shit.
The outside cut like the one the guy's slicing in the pic is a special treat.
Research the names and specifically ask for stuff. They'll try to skimp on meat later on and bring cheaper shit but if you ask for specific cuts they'll keep coming.
Chicken hearts are an acquired taste.
Sausages are fun but don't overdo it, they're seen as kid's food because you stuff kids with it so the adults eat the better stuff.
Farofa and vinagrete work great with most meats, try mixing and matching. Chimichurri is also good with those.
Pineapple slices can help you digest better and go for a longer game.
Wear loose pants with a belt, a large belt.
Don't exaggerate on beer or soda, liquids are an afterthought.

[Anonymous No.17382119]

>>17381653

[Anonymous No.17382411]

>>17381857
What did I say that gave the impression of min/maxing? Was only trying to impart my experience for someone that was asking

[Anonymous No.17382416]

>>17381857
>so uptight and stingy that every rabbi in a 50 mile radius would be ashamed to be seen with you?
kek

[Anonymous No.17382417]

>>17381857
What did I say that gave the impression of min/maxing? Was only trying to impart my experience for someone that was asking

Looks like my tips are in line with someone from the country of origin >>17382027

[Anonymous No.17382439]

>>17382417
>Looks like my tips are in line with someone from the country of origin >>17382027
You're both miserable retards who don't understand the purpose of dining out. If you think you need a list of tips, advice, and "ground rules" in order to go out to eat then I don't know what to tell you. I really can't fathom the kind of insecure reddit mindset that leads you to seriously consider shit like >>17382027.

You're the kind of faggot who thinks about going to a restaurant but makes a bunch of threads about it before you go asking for advice and suggestions, aren't you? Son, just go to the fucking restaurant, order what you want, eat what you want.
>b-but i won't get the most efficient amount of food in exchange for my money if i don't plan ahead
Disgusting.
Kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.17382448]

>>17382439
You're in the wrong thread then

[Anonymous No.17382474]

>>17382439
I don't act like every time I go to one of those is the last, heck I don't need to, we barbecue every single weekend down here in hueland. But OP is clearly going for the first time and looking for an experience to remember, you're being an elitist bitch and not helpful, I'm trying to give him a well balanced experience of what he won't get in other types of restaurants

[Anonymous No.17382489]

>>17371755
Yeah it was good. Don't load up on the appetizers even tho they're really good

[Anonymous No.17382573]

>>17374093
I remember when I was little I asked my parents why people didn't like Jews.

Parents: Because they are prejudiced against Jews.

Me: But why?

Parents: Well, they have stereotypes about Jews that aren't true.

Me: So, what are those stereotypes?

Parents: Hmmm, imagine there's an all-you-can-eat buffet for one price. You'd think that someone would want to eat whatever they want, but other people might head directly for the most expensive food in the buffet, say the shrimp cocktail, and load their plate with it, and eat all of it, without eating anything else, just because they can. The stereotype is that Jews are like that.

I still think back on those life lessons. Maybe they missed it with the specific example of shrimp, though (treif).

[Anonymous No.17382589]

>>17376879
I have one of those and a fogo de chao near me, what would be better for a first time experience?

[Anonymous No.17382599]

>live in Canada where a steak is like $30
>No chance of a restaurant like this existing since it would be unprofitable

[Anonymous No.17382625]

>>17382589
They're all mostly the same but fogo if I had to pick

[Anonymous No.17382723]

>>17371787
>Fogo de Chão?
They load you up with cheap meat. We literally had to pass at least 7 or so offers before they brought out the first round of rib eye

[Anonymous No.17382725]

>>17381949
If you really have vegetarian friends who go to all you can eat steakhouses for their salad bar you need to tell them to quit being stupid.

[Anonymous No.17382762]

>>17382474
Nobody cares, you favela monkey. You're literally telling the guy the "ground rules" on the necessary tightness of his pants and width of his belt for his visit to a novelty restaurant. Do us all a favor and stay in the jungle.

[Anonymous No.17382772]

>>17382448
OP just said that he was going and asked if anyone else had been. That's a normal discussion thread, not an opening for unsolicited paragraphs of boomer stinginess and greed.

[Anonymous No.17382832]

>>17382772
>>17382439
Please contribute then. So far I'm the only one out of the two of us that is trying to be useful here. You are only pissing and moaning, meanwhile I'm speaking directly from personal experience. You've likely never even been to a churrascaria

[Anonymous No.17382878]

>>17381207
>hurr im the candle in the dark on 4chan
fuck off, pseud.

[Anonymous No.17382885]

>>17381545
>lmao dirty thirdies pretending they know about "america" besides what the tv tells them
(You) are cattle.

[Anonymous No.17382905]

>>17374093
We are retarded. We get rammed in the ass by our government and our employers so in return people like to do the same thing to service workers and restaurants rather than actually trying to make anything better.
But yeah people who go to these brazillian joints and don't enjoy some sides and pineapple . I don't go there to gorge on meat until I get sick, I go there to have slices of well flavored and cooked meats with some delicious side dishes

[Anonymous No.17382911]

>>17382439
>don't understand the purpose of dining out.
autism

[Anonymous No.17382914]

>>17378043
glad you agree. Can you imagine these retards that would go someplace and just eat meat like some fucking baboon?

[Anonymous No.17382922]

>>17381234
and we hate you honky

[Anonymous No.17382931]

>>17381358
That's not remotely right...besides Brazilians own most of the American cattle industry too now

[Anonymous No.17382950]

>>17382725
why? They have better sides and salads than most other places, let them eat what they want you fucking weirdo

[Anonymous No.17383008]

Another tip I would say is drink water throughout the day you're going to keep your stomach stretched out so you can take in more food and really get your moneys worth.

[Anonymous No.17383415]

>>17371777
>checked
yeah the buffet is usually 10/10 which makes it really difficult as you want to just keep eating meat and they keep bringing new super delicious stuff to you ... but that buffet is going to be fucking pristine and filled with high quality delicious foods.