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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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17268958 No.17268958 [Reply] [Original]

Why did my poached eggs come out so nasty looking shape wise? (Disregarding color, I had no vinegar so I added a splash of dark malt vinegar)

>> No.17268971

>>17268958
My guess is bad quality eggs also the vinegar u used

>> No.17268973

>>17268958
Holy frick, my dude, they look like that fetus-like version of Voldemort that appears at the end of the Deathly Hallows part II.

>> No.17268974

>>17268958
you didn't create a whirlpool

>> No.17268982

>>17268958
Gigeresque

>> No.17268999

>>17268958
Did you try to poach Beheliths?

>> No.17269001

>>17268958
Because you're trying to make a shitty version of a soft boiled egg so God punished you

>> No.17269007

>>17268958

what the fuck did you poach them in? a mud puddle?

>> No.17269020

>>17268958
The shape is fine, most poached eggs you get at fancy brunch places look like this. The trick to making them look nicer is trimming off the excess whites and smothering it with hollandais.

>> No.17269036

>>17269007
I use water that I previously used to wash the dishes to save water, it's boiled so it's sterile. I'm not consoooooming more water just because (((they))) want it.
I'm a minimalist, I'm frugal, let me guess you need 'fresh' water because ((((they))) brainwashed you into it. Lmao

>> No.17269040

>>17268958
stop using dirty water

>> No.17269048

>>17268958
Op, use fresh eggs.

>> No.17269064

Looks fine, why be picky about this?

>> No.17269096
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17269096

This nigga eatin' the World Cup

>> No.17269130
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17269130

>>17269036
>I use water that I previously used to wash the dishes to save water

>> No.17269145

>>17268974
/thread

>> No.17269192
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17269192

>>17269036

>> No.17269333

>>17268973
holy shit i know exactly what you're talking about since i watched that movie just last night. weird.

>> No.17269895

>>17268958
Fuck you and your necromorph eggs, you weird motherfucker

>> No.17269900

>>17269036
is there not dish soap in that water?

>> No.17269903

Possibly the most disgusting food photo I’ve seen on this board.
Congratulations.

>> No.17269928

>>17269036
>I use water that I previously used to wash the dishes to save water
Huh?

>> No.17270100

You need a tall pot and at least 20-25 cm of boilimg water. Do not stir.

>> No.17270403

>>17269036
I swear this is a copypasta based on the last bit but I can't remember which.

>> No.17270416

>>17268958
Did fucking Ridley Scott make those? Jesus Christ.

>> No.17270547
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17270547

>>17269036
>So fucking jewish he will cook his food in dirty water
>acts like other people are jews

Motherfucker this is a level of Judaism that should earn you a fucking tribute page in the Talmud.

>> No.17270641

I crack the egg in a small bowl. When the water (+ vinegar) starts boiling I create a strong vortex with a spoon and gently pour the egg into the center of the vortex. The vortex is key in keeping it in a cohesive mass without the tentacles.

I find the vinegar makes a difference too and I bet the malt vinegar had something to do with the eggs looking shitty (the form not just the color). I had no white vinegar a couple times and used apple cider vinegar and it simply did not work as wall, maybe the pH is not as high?

I've heard that you can crack the egg into a fine mesh strainer to remove the small bits of the white that will fall off or get stringy. Never tried this.

>> No.17270650

>>17270641
Add that mesh strainer to your procedure, and you'll be blown away by how much better your already great eggs will be.

>> No.17270658

>>17269036
You're from /fit/ aren't you. This negative level of cooking skill you have to be.

>> No.17270707

>>17268958
Idk but the pan method works pretty well.
I tried it a few times and it works.
Basically just use a fry pan fill it most of the way up with water.
Bring to a simmer and put the eggs in extremely gently.
Just put all of them in let them set then cut them when they are done and put onto paper towel

>> No.17270719
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17270719

>>17269036
dude what

>> No.17270774

Do you actually need the spoon-with-holes-thing to take the egg out, or is that just something normies say to make you buy stuff?

>> No.17270814

>>17269096
sopa de cuppapo
uma delicia!

>> No.17270823

>>17268958
It doesn't look like they're cooking fully/fast enough. Try to use really fresh eggs and a white vinegar if you can. Balsamic is not the move.

>> No.17270826

>>17269036
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaeZ3RrzpLA

>> No.17270832

>>17270641

wow, i've never read more erroneous instructions.

the clear key to successful poached eggs is dirty dish water.

>> No.17270845
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17270845

>>17269036
>I use water that I previously used to wash the dishes

You didn't do this

>> No.17270848

chicken was vaccinated
I only buy 100% organic eggs

>> No.17270852

>>17270832
LMFAO

>> No.17270978

>>17270774
>Do you actually need the spoon-with-holes-thing to take the egg out
Makes life a lot easier

>> No.17270995
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17270995

>>17270978
So you're saying when I get gud, I won't need the spoon?

>> No.17271043

>>17270650
I've been tempted to but never got around to it. I'll try it next time because I can definitely imagine it makes a big difference.

I don't really eat poached eggs my 5 year old son likes them so I learned to cook them just this year for the first time. They are a lot of fun to prepare because it is fast and simple but you can play around with optimizing just a few parameters and see the difference it makes.

>> No.17271063

>>17270995
I use a spoon with holes and even put the egg on a piece of paper towel to remove excess water/vinegar mixture.

>> No.17271069

>>17269036
>this kills the (((water seller)))

>> No.17271070

>>17269036
You can just collect and filter rainwater for free you fucking amateur

>> No.17271156

>>17268971
>bad quality eggs
Unless the eggs are rotten, there arent "good" or "bar" eggs. You cannot tell the difference between a grocery store egg and an egg straight from a hen's ass. I raised chickens for years

>> No.17271353

>>17271156
Found the large scale farmer. My parents raise chickens and their eggs are the greatest I've eaten. Only grain and leafy greens/vegetables are used to feed them.

>> No.17271362

>>17268973
>>17269333
OMG GUYS HARRY POTTER WHOOAOAOWOWOW

>> No.17271369
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17271369

>>17269036
how are all you retards replying seriously to this i nearly died laughing

>> No.17271381

>>17270641
The most important thing for poached eggs is the freshness of the egg, the fresher it is, the stronger the white sticks to the yolk.

>> No.17271382

>>17271369
Because after Tilefucker, deerfucker, /sp/'s tripfag stalker and /k/'s cumcakes I've stopped pretending there's a limit to this place's insanity.

>> No.17271385

>>17268958
>dark malt vinegar
This is one issue obviously, the reason they’re discoloured and covered in shit.

>> No.17271387

>>17271362
>*buuuurp* Morty, magic is *urp* fake and harry potter is for nerds. I'm a man of science, it's like magic *burrrp* but a gajillion times as real.
>Also JK Rowling is *urp* transphobic and a bunch of other dumb asshole shin
>Come on let's go fuck some space prostitutes and sell our souls

>> No.17271391

>>17268958
Two blasts of 30 second one the microwave with a 10 minute break. ½ cup water and a little vinegar in a coffee mug.

>> No.17271419

restaurant poached eggs look nicer because they just throw away the outer white that doesn't have a sac

>> No.17271462

white vinegar is best, and I think your water may have been too hot? you want it steaming, just a few bubbles

as the eggs start cooking use a slotted spoon and kinda just nudge the whites around the yolk to mantain shape/help it cool faster

>> No.17271469

>>17271462
cook*

>> No.17271474

>>17271353
i kept chickens for years & you could tell the difference between individual hens eggs as well. sometimes those fuckers broke into the cat food but it made their yolks huge and tasty as hell so i didnt mind too much.

>> No.17271915
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17271915

>>17269036
Holy shit

>> No.17272070

>>17268958
Cursed image

>> No.17272090
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17272090

>>17268958
This looks like something from H.R. Giger.

>>17269036
Best larp I’ve read in a long time.

>> No.17272096

>>17268958
create a whirlpool
use the right vinegar

>> No.17272156

>>17268974
which is a meme. you can poach f perfectly fine egg without any whirlpools

>> No.17272179

>>17269036
say sike rn

>> No.17272182

>>17268958
they look like testes

>> No.17272190

>>17268973
Easy with the language bro!

>> No.17272217

for perfectly shaped poached eggs, remove the liquid part with a mesh strainer and then cook the egg directly inside of it

>> No.17272380

>>17269036
Lmao

>> No.17272435

>>17272217
>remove the liquid part with a mesh strainer
What??

>> No.17272437

the shells cracked and the uncooked white flooded the pot

>> No.17272565
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17272565

>>17272435
He said "remove the liquid part with a mesh strainer."

>> No.17272573

i made thousands of poached eggs working breakfast shifts, a lot of the variables are affected by the temperature of the water. some have mentioned a slotted spoon will help but its only purpose is to drain liquid off, any spoon is fine. it might also help if you didnt use dirty dish water you absolute plonker. i hope OP takes the advice from this thread and posts an improved version

>> No.17272610
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17272610

>>17269036

>> No.17272632
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17272632

>>17268958

>> No.17272706
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17272706

>>17268958
Just use salt then you ignorant nigger.

>> No.17272724
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17272724

>>17269036
Based moneysaver

>> No.17272740

>>17271362
Harry Potter is cozy and cool
>>17271387
Based

>> No.17272743

>>17271369
Because it would explain why his poached eggs came out brown.

>> No.17272747

>>17270774
How do not already own a slotted spoon?

>> No.17272762

If you add vinegar to your poaching liquid you are actually a hack cook

>> No.17272799

>>17272762
Ah yes, it's not a /ck/ thread without someone who can't cook adding his retarded take.

>> No.17272822
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17272822

>>17269036
Holy shit anon what is wrong with you

>> No.17272936

>>17272799
I poached 150 eggs every saturday sunday in the course of 3 hours for 4 years. I know what im talking about. Its a crutch plain and simple and results in off-flavored eggs

>> No.17273196
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17273196

>>17272936

>> No.17273206

>>17272435
you only need the "thick" part of the egg white. the rest disperses in water and only makes a mess

>> No.17273221
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17273221

>>17269036
Ummmm, based?

>> No.17274175

>>17268958
bruh those are abortions

>> No.17274230

>>17269036
Cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks

>> No.17274231
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17274231

>>17269036

>> No.17275176

>>17269036
Huh

>> No.17275294

>>17269036
Hey Facebook, I rape kids

>> No.17275313

>>17269036
I'M LAFFIN' SO HARD BROS

>> No.17275344
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17275344

>>17269036

>> No.17275356

This is a 8 week aborted fetus, still support abortion libtards?

>> No.17275403

>>17269036
Every drop of water flushed down the shitter is a drop saved from filthy C*lifornian throats.
I will now turn on the faucets and go to bed.

>> No.17275582
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17275582

>>17269036
put me in the screen cap

>> No.17275591
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17275591

>>17269036
posting in epic bread

>> No.17275593
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17275593

>>17269036

>> No.17275704
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17275704

>>17269036
HAHAH put me in the screencap

>> No.17275740
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17275740

>>17269036

>> No.17275789

>>17268958
where are they? all I see is a pic of boiled alien brains

>> No.17275851
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17275851

>>17269036
>I use water that I previously used to wash the dishes to save water

>> No.17275981
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17275981

>>17269036

>> No.17275993
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17275993

>>17269036

>> No.17276048
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17276048

>>17269036
huh

>> No.17276107
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17276107

>>17276048
You've huh'd your last huh, faggoat

>> No.17276263
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17276263

ok lads, here ya go

>> No.17276450

>>17269900
only a moron buys into what big soap is selling. op isn't a sheep like the rest of you, bet you fags flush the toilet too.

>> No.17276491

>>17275582
that pic looks like the guy who walks down to the bench below my apartment at midnight to 3am every night and coughs his lungs out onto the pavement below and then leaves, i genuinely hope he falls into the gutter and dies every night. just not below my apartment because i dont want the extra noise. he's been doing it for weeks now like nigga how are you alive it sounds like your entire throat and lungs are filled with motor 20 year old used motor oil. anyway hope that cunt dies.

>> No.17276532
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17276532

>>17269036

>> No.17276773
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17276773

>>17269036
That's why I dont leave this fucking website

>> No.17276779
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17276779

>> No.17276795
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17276795

>>17269036
Nice bro

>> No.17277175
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17277175

>>17269036
put me in the screencap

>> No.17277308
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17277308

>>17268973
>Holy frick, my dude, they look like that fetus-like version of Voldemort that appears at the end of the Deathly Hallows part II.

>> No.17277351
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17277351

>>17269036
Thank you for making me laugh more than i have in the last 10 months combined

>> No.17277358

>>17269036
The jew fears the dishwater reuser

>> No.17277475
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17277475

>>17269036

Just in case this isn't a troll.
Why don't you use two seperate reserve of water for cooking and cleaning?

Just cook your eggs with your pasta water or whatever, and clean the dishes with the soap water you used this mornin to clean yourself.

>> No.17277633

>>17268958
>>17269036
These are the people that need to be federal watch lists

>> No.17277654
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17277654

>>17269036

>> No.17277681

>>17269036
This you? https://youtube.com/watch?v=jvUM7i_ppFE

>> No.17277705

>>17271156
>t. retard born with no tongue

>> No.17277725

>>17269036
lmao all these seething water jews replies. keep fighting the good fight

>> No.17277791

>>17269036
mental illness

>> No.17277995
File: 96 KB, 970x545, (((1587870097951))).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17277995

>>17269036
How Jewish of you

>> No.17278002
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17278002

>>17268958
>The Shadow Over Eggsmouth

>> No.17278377
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17278377

>>17269036
Based

>> No.17278383

>>17269036
How do I give Awards on this social media platform? Where is the Share/Like/Upvote feature for that matter lol

>> No.17278391

>>17277308
Completely apt response to this fucking Gaylord.