/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.17165965]

For me it's Duke's Mayo

[Anonymous No.17165972]

>>17165965
shoot like i’m duke but i could play for duke’s

[Anonymous No.17165978]

>>17165965
Are you going to the Duke’s Mayo Bowl anon? :)

[Anonymous No.17165989]

I'm more of a State Fair kind of gal.

[Anonymous No.17166003]

>>17165978
Nah I've never been to a cfb game

[Anonymous No.17166068]

>>17165965
tried it, hellmann's mayonnaise is still better

[Anonymous No.17166132]

Isn’t Duke’s just Kewpie for faggots?

[Anonymous No.17166135]

just a thought...if I added msg to this, do y'all think it'll taste like Kewpie?

[Anonymous No.17166138]

>>17165989
Dogs do love mayonnaise so this post checks out

[Anonymous No.17166186]

Not even ironically trying to high-road here; but, I would never consider 'buying' mayo ever again since learning how to make it at home. Literally 4 ingredients: egg, oil, an acid of sorts, and salt.

And, once you have the basic technique down, you can start experimenting with flavors to your own heart's content.

Why fight and squabble over brands of mayo when you can just make a brandless-yet-unique mayo of your own.

[Anonymous No.17166190]

>>17166186
how about you post some of your creations or shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.17166239]

>>17166190
An adversely aggressive reaction, but warranted.

I'm not home at the moment, and I hadn't thought homemade mayo was worth taking pictures of, desu.

But, if you're eager for pictures of my creations:

Here's some fresh pasta I made 2 nights ago. Flour and eggs, kneaded by hand and then machine-rolled thin. Cut with the tool. Made a cauliflower/cashew "alfredo" sauce for the dairy-sensitive wife. Some cajun-y sausage and chicken, to boot.

[Anonymous No.17166244]

>>17166239
The finished product. Not the prettiest, but purdy güd

[Anonymous No.17166245]

>>17165965
same for me

[Anonymous No.17166259]

>>17166186
>Not even ironically trying to high-road here; but, I would never consider 'buying' mayo ever again since learning how to make it at home.
you should have spent that time taking a community college English course

[Anonymous No.17166264]

>>17166239
Does your wife know that you are gay? Has your sexuality been an issue?

[Anonymous No.17166300]

>>17165965
For me it’s Ken’s extra heavy Mayo

[Anonymous No.17166385]

>>17166264
No, yes.

Those answers are not given in the same order as the questions.

[Anonymous No.17166390]

>>17166244
WOW! WHAT'RE THE ODDS?

[Anonymous No.17166397]

mayo, pickles, hfcs, the tastes of america and its poverty afflicted underbelly

[Anonymous No.17166399]

>>17165965
Last bottle of Dukes I bought, somehow tasted stale. It was like the odor of the warehouse it sat in permeated the jar. I had to go back to Hellman's because I couldnt stand the taste of Dukes after that.

[Anonymous No.17166407]

>>17166259
It's grammatically correct. Not sure what you mean.

[Anonymous No.17166415]

>>17166407
why don't you hurry the fuck up back and show pics of your homemade mayo, nerd.
>you brought this upon yourself, gayboy

[Anonymous No.17166431]

>>17166415
I'm not that guy, pal.

[Anonymous No.17166437]

>>17166259
His english is fine. You domt even capitalize or punctuate.

[Anonymous No.17166448]

>>17166431
I don't know that
>>17166186
hurry the fuck up, get home, and post your mayo creations

[Anonymous No.17166476]

>>17166239
>An adversely aggressive reaction, but warranted.
My biggest fear is that I sound like this to other people. I think I know how to speak well, but what if I'm just too stupid to know better?

[Anonymous No.17166484]

>>17166407
Appreciate a random, nameless person sticking up for my diction.

>>17166415
Heading back from the store now. Making some Korean tteokbokki for the family on Saturday, and needed some ingredients.

Do... do you really want pictures of an unlabeled mason jar, half-full of mayo? Not sure what kind of 'creations' you refer to, friend.

[Anonymous No.17166505]

>>17166476
That post's poster here, since there was some confusion earlier, it seems.

Dunno why I choose to type like that. Just trying to reply with something different.

Sadly, despite my efforts and even posting actual personally-made food, the thread still derailed into name-calling and insults. Stay golden, \ck\

[Anonymous No.17166531]

>>17166484
Where you from brutha? You write like you were taught english as a second language. Not insulting you at all. Most americans dont use semicolons on message boards.

[Anonymous No.17166534]

>>17166437
>domt
So close.

[Anonymous No.17166539]

>>17165965
Duke's is my favorite mayo, if you've got good tomatoes you can make a damn fine BLT.

[Anonymous No.17166544]

>>17166259
shut the fuck up nerd

[Anonymous No.17166549]

>>17166531
Central Indiana.

English is 1st language, tho. I think I can blame semicolon usage on reading a lot of Stephen King in my youth. Man sure did like fusing together clauses with them, correctly or otherwise.

[Anonymous No.17166550]

>>17166534
Phonepost with bad eyes and big thumbs. Should I kill myself?

[Anonymous No.17166565]

>>17166484
I ain't your friend, buddy. And yes...I'm dead serious...

[Anonymous No.17166571]

>>17166549
Im central Iowa. Despite what coastals will lead you to believe, we have the best test scores. Must be that awful lack of diversity.

[Anonymous No.17166573]

cheese

[Anonymous No.17166582]

>>17166550
Nah, you're off the hook.

>still gonna get the thumb, doncha worry

[Anonymous No.17166585]

>>17166565
Okie dokie, fair enough.

Halfway home, and I'll throw in a timestamp as well, for good measure.

[Anonymous No.17166594]

>>17166585
thank you

[Anonymous No.17166611]

>>17166571
It's still Indiana. Had a graduating class of 63 people. 4 classmates had died in various accidents during my high school years. Prom colors were fucking Duct Tape and Safety Cone Orange. We didn't have school shootings, only angry parents who tried to threaten the principle with a crossbow for kicking their Bubba off the football team due to poor grades....

Please, writing somewhat decently is essentially all I have left.

Please... writing

[Anonymous No.17166626]

>>17166611
Shoutout to my phone for some kind of weird accidental copy/pasting at the end. ggwp

[Anonymous No.17166632]

>>17166505
I thought you sounded pretentious because you made some mistakes people often make when they put trying to sound smart above communicating clearly. I can see now you were just trying your best to make a good post. I was wrong and I'm sorry.

[Anonymous No.17166672]

>>17166632
All good! I can admit to being guilty of that sometimes. It's a cooking/food board -- I should leave the hoity-toity fancy speak to the folks in /lit/

[Anonymous No.17166680]

>>17166672
>>17166632
I aint apologizing for shit, guy. I need photos, photos of those unmarked mason jars of homemade mayo, and if I'm feeling peckish...maybe the ingredients
>cuteembarassedsmile.jpg

[Anonymous No.17166691]

>>17166611
85 in my class. Some winners, some losers. Ive traveled quite a bit and Im glad I grew up this way. Only 1 black family and the dad was an accountant. Got to be a football "star", would have been a joke at a big school. Anyway...later bro.

[Anonymous No.17166698]

>>17166239
>>17166244
Thanks for the pics of your store-bought pasta! Now, can you show us your homemade mayonnaise?

[Anonymous No.17166821]

>>17166300
>extra heavy
what do they mean by this?

[Anonymous No.17166840]

>>17166585
Come on, let's see that jar of mayo

[Anonymous No.17167462]

Duke's is the best. Fuck nigger Hellman's and faggot Miracle Whip.

[Anonymous No.17167485]

>>17165965

[Anonymous No.17167498]

>not a single mention of Blueplate
>mogs them all

[Anonymous No.17167514]

>>17167485
posted right before i
>>17167498
Anyways, I was a fan of hellmans,still am, but if you like hellmans, you will like blueplate even better and that ain't no shit my niggas.

[Anonymous No.17167556]

For me it's Kielecki

[Anonymous No.17167560]

>>17167485
based, blue plate is the GOAT mayo

[Anonymous No.17167568]

>>17167560
agreed anon, blueplate is a more intense hellmans, it taste like hellmans but stronger.

[Anonymous No.17167813]

I gave up mayo when I realized how bad seed oils are and any with non awful oils would be a long distance away

[Anonymous No.17167885]

>ITT a snobbish faggot said they can make better mayo than store bought mayo, then promised to post said mason jar of mayo
...

[Anonymous No.17168665]

Bumping for jars

[Anonymous No.17168748]

NTA, but I also make my own mayo. It's pretty easy and tastes better than store bought.

[Anonymous No.17168915]

>>17166840
>>17166698
>>17166680
>>17167885

Snobbish Mayo guy here.

Last night kind of fell apart. Came home to find that one of our dogs had decided to rip apart a portion of wrapped presents and destroy a few gifts within.

Needless to say, after beating the tar out of the Grinch Dog™ and having The Wife™ yell at me for a while, I didn't really feel like taking pictures.

However, I did inspect the mayo this morning and it's done the one thing that homemade mayo tends to do after a week or so. It kind of de-mulsifies? un-mulsifies? There's no chemical binders in it like store-bought, so it falls back to a thick liquid state, instead of stiff peaks that can hold weight.

On my lunch break today, I'll just whip up another jar and post those pictures, satisfying these snarky doubters.

[Anonymous No.17168917]

>>17167813
you can make it at home with whatever oil you want in 5 minutes

[Anonymous No.17168957]

best store bought mayo

[Anonymous No.17168964]

>>17168957
>spelling colors and flavors with a u
opinion discarded

[Anonymous No.17169119]

>>17166698
This still makes me laugh, a day later
>mishapen pasta
>flour and eggs visible
>pasta roller in plain view
>floury handprint on pasta cutter
>flour everywhere, desu

>still gets trolled by other Anon claiming it to be store-bought

[Anonymous No.17169209]

Barring homemade, McCormick is better, IMO. It's practically the only thing McCormick makes that's even halfway edible and it really is quite good, actually. Srsly, best storebought mayonnaise.

[Anonymous No.17169319]

>>17166068
I've been eating Hellman's my entire life, Duke's is better than that salty crap

[Anonymous No.17169359]

>>17169319
maybe try not eating it straight and put it on a sandwich like a normal slob and it wouldn't taste so salty

[Anonymous No.17169361]

>>17169209
>>17166239
>>17166186
>>17168748
>>17168915
>Ugh, you guys actually buy things from other people? Everything I own is HOME MADE. I cut my own grain. Raise my own cows. Hell, even my own chickens. My PC? I mined my own aluminum, antimony, arsenic, barium, beryllium, cadmium, chromium, cobalt, copper, gallium, gold, iron, lead, manganese, mercury, palladium, platinum, selenium, silver, and zinc.
It only takes one of you faggots to ruin a good thread. If you're such a good chef why not open your own restaurant

[Anonymous No.17169366]

>>17169359
I lick the mayo off the knife when I'm done spreading it

[Anonymous No.17169375]

>>17169361
Patiently wondered to myself how long until a wojack-poster wandered in here.
Never once did I applaud homemade as being b e t t e r than store-bought.

I enjoy making things by hand. It's not like I'm boycotting big-box stores -- I still have to buy my ingredients. It's fun, keeps my brain active, and is a creative outlet for me, to make stuff by hand. Deepest apologies that everything in your kitchen has a nutrition label or factory address.

[Anonymous No.17169377]

>>17169375
>Patiently wondered to myself how long until a wojack-poster wandered in here.
>Never once did I applaud homemade as being b e t t e r than store-bought.
>I enjoy making things by hand. It's not like I'm boycotting big-box stores -- I still have to buy my ingredients. It's fun, keeps my brain active, and is a creative outlet for me, to make stuff by hand. Deepest apologies that everything in your kitchen has a nutrition label or factory address.

[Anonymous No.17169379]

>>17165965
I’m sorry everyone

I literally prefer miracle whip

[Anonymous No.17169388]

>>17169366
i do that with sour cream

[Anonymous No.17169391]

>Patiently wondered to myself how long until a wojack-poster wandered in here.
>Never once did I applaud homemade as being b e t t e r than store-bought.
>I enjoy making things by hand. It's not like I'm boycotting big-box stores -- I still have to buy my ingredients. It's fun, keeps my brain active, and is a creative outlet for me, to make stuff by hand. Deepest apologies that everything in your kitchen has a nutrition label or factory address.

[Anonymous No.17169487]

>>17166672
>I should leave the hoity-toity fancy speak to the folks in /lit/
You should keep trying. Just like in cooking early attempts will be embarrassing. But the only way to get good is by persevering. That's the price of admission for all crafts. Ganbatte mayo-san.

>>17169391
Do you feel any happier after posting that?

[Anonymous No.17169510]

>>17168957
>Giving John Kerry your money.......

[Anonymous No.17169530]

>>17166239
why do you have a tire patch roller in your kitchen?

[Anonymous No.17169577]

HERE WE GO!

[Anonymous No.17169585]

The long-coveted pic of the existing batch. Kinda separated, a little runny. No worries. We can liven it up and incorporate into the new batch ( like Tootsie-Rolls )

[Anonymous No.17169597]

-- 1 whole roomtemp egg
-- 1/2 tbs white vinegar
- 1/2 tbs lemon juice

Into the mixer, and turn on medium speed, to get everything broken up.

[Anonymous No.17169599]

>>17169577
show that stupid fucking paper to your wife and take a video of her reacting to seeing it. and of course make another video of her serving you divorce papers after.

[Anonymous No.17169612]

-- 1c Oil of choice
Went 60% veg oil, and 40% evoo

Mixer on high. Add one tsp of oil to mixer at a time, waiting 10-ish seconds between additions. The key is to go verrrry slow, with adding the oil

[Anonymous No.17169622]

Various seasonings, completely optional.

Main component is at least 1 tsp of salt, and about 2/3 tbs of ground mustard.

Other cast members include ground thyme, white&black pepper, garlic, parsley, and paprika. Less than a 1/4 tsp of each, give or take.

I dash those in between teaspoons of oil

[Anonymous No.17169626]

>>17169510
i feel like most people won't get this joke, but it's damn true

[Anonymous No.17169628]

As you come near the end of the oil, it'll start the thicken nicely. Crank the mixer up to max speed.

[Anonymous No.17169638]

And done. Somewhat stiff peaks. Should be able to cling to an upside spoon and not fall

[Anonymous No.17169643]

A humble product.

Toss in a sealed jar. Good for 2-3 weeks in the fridge.

[Anonymous No.17169659]

Enjoy on anything that you'd put, well, mayo onto.

Fabulous on bread as a quick snack. Had some extra left over in the mixer.

Bread is also made by me.
>inb4 butthurt bread people

[Anonymous No.17169671]

>>17169577
>>17169585
>>17169597
>>17169612
>>17169622
>>17169628
>>17169638
>>17169643
>>17169659
Hey retard learn how to properly rotate. Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous No.17169675]

>>17169671
Not sure what happened.
Pictures are in correct orientation on the cpu before posting. Emailing gook m00t now and complaining!

[Anonymous No.17169680]

>>17169577

[Anonymous No.17169682]

>>17165965
it tastes better when you can actually taste mayonnaise as an individual sauce flavor, like in a fresh tomato sandwich
but as an ingredient in something like devilled eggs it just adds a stray funk flavor

[Anonymous No.17169706]

>>17169599
Also,

[Anonymous No.17169757]

>>17169675
>cpu
holy fuck what a retard

[Anonymous No.17169760]

>>17169706
yeah, better to stay in a marriage with someone that would recoil in horror if she knew how you really were. my mistake

[Anonymous No.17169810]

>>17169760
>>17169671
>>17169599

A touch confused where the aggression is coming from.
>get asked to show mayo jar
>ups the ante and just makes whole new batch
>rare occurrence of actual recipe-execution and not just mindless ridicule and screaming like most threads
>ridicule and screaming anyway

Goddamn, I love this board ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Anonymous No.17169849]

>>17169810
i thought the stupid paper was cute

[Anonymous No.17169879]

>>17169361
But >>17169209 advocated for buying McCormick, you silly goose.

>>17169379
You do you, boo. Just don't make me a sandwich or salad with that stuff and we're golden.

>>17168957
I forgot Heinz existed. That's the second best store-bought mayonnaise in the US, after McCormick, of course.

[Anonymous No.17169882]

>>17165965
For me, McCormick Mayo

[Anonymous No.17169884]

>>17169682
While tomato sandwiches are God's own sandwich, your opinion missed the mark on deviled eggs.

[Anonymous No.17170242]

>>17168915
you pulled through. my hero

[Anonymous No.17170258]

>>17165965
Absolute beta mayonnaise available. Sir Kensington’s is over rated and tastes like sunflower oil. I wish dukes were more available everywhere

[Anonymous No.17171229]

RIP in piece my wallet but this stuff is so goddamn good

[Anonymous No.17171320]

>>17169879
>McCormick
I put McCormick mayonnaise on my corn on the cob

[Anonymous No.17171397]

>>17171320
fucks wrong wit you? that's what butter is for

[Anonymous No.17171418]

>>17171397
>not eating mayonnaise with chili powder on roasted corn
think before you type, dumbass mcfuckface

[Anonymous No.17171441]

>>17171397
You do butter, mayo, parmesan, then cayenne

[Anonymous No.17171448]

For me personally, it’s Mexican table cream

[Anonymous No.17171455]

>>17171320
Yeah, so does everyone.

Have you tried the "Mexican street corn" flavoured Cheetos? I got a bag at some point over the summer. They should've just been honest and called it "mayo flavoured" cuz that's all that was there. No corn-taste at all, nor cheese nor chili.
Awful.

[Anonymous No.17171457]

>>17171441
>parmesan
*cotija
FTFY

[Anonymous No.17171471]

>>17171457
Most of the guys with carts are just using parmesan. Cotija has worse coverage and sticks less. You can also just keep the parm out instead of having to find a way to fridge it while walking around the neighborhood

[Anonymous No.17171550]

>>17171418
>>17171441
9, you drown it in butter and salt. end of story

[Anonymous No.17171587]

>>17171550
you live a sheltered existence, anon.

[Anonymous No.17171603]

>>17171471
Makes sense. Thanks for the explanation.

[Anonymous No.17171804]

>>17171587
But i switch out shells every time i grow

[Anonymous No.17171836]

>>17171804
not gonna lie, that's a clever come back

[Anonymous No.17171858]

>>17166186
Give me the specifics on making real mayo, Im disgusted by the #1 ingredient oil mayos on the market. It feels impossible to buy premade real mayo

[Anonymous No.17171904]

>>17171858
you can use straight olive oil but honestly it doesn't exactly taste right and if you try to sub out with avocado oil the molecules are to small and the mayo will most likely break which it just a waist of like $4 in ingredients

[Anonymous No.17171922]

>>17171858
Homemade mayo will still have oil as the #1 ingredient, tho. Also, it's not a great idea to make at home unless you consume very, very large amounts of it at a time.
All the same, food processer. Yolks in. Prepared mustard in. Acid of some sort, like lemon juice or vinegar in. Wizz. Little oil. Wizz. Little more oil. Wizz. Little more oil. Wizz. Now that it's starting to hold shape, add the rest of your oil in a thin, steady stream. Salt to taste.

Yolk, 1
Mustard, 1-3tsp
Acid, 1-2 tbsp
Oil, 100-200ml

Try using unusual oils, acids or eggs for different flavours. I've made duck egg, lime and sesame mayo before, which was nice for the roast duck wraps I made it for. You can also make mayonnaise from other, gelatinous-y, non-egg protein sources. For example, we make octopus mayonnaise where I'm from with the cooking water leftover from braising an octopus.

[Anonymous No.17171933]

>>17171804
Chitinous claws typed this

[Anonymous No.17172030]

>>17165965
The one with MSG is really the best

[Anonymous No.17172047]

>>17172030
>>17166135

[Anonymous No.17172176]

>>17169487
fagspeak

[Anonymous No.17172185]

>>17169675
>on the CPU

[Anonymous No.17172534]

>>17171229
finally somebody posted one that doesn't have soy in it

[Anonymous No.17172646]

What's the best tool to make mayo/emulsions?

[Anonymous No.17172664]

>>17168915
>can't make a stable emulsification
>still considers himself a snob

[Anonymous No.17172769]

People really be posting without skimming through the previous posts.
Same folks who crack open a good book and start on page 176, and then complain to the author that the characters aren't well-defined and the plot is hard to follow.

[Anonymous No.17173079]

>>17172769
>crack open a good book and start on page 176,
i did that with homer's odyssey but to be fair i just skipped the writers introduction which went on impossibly long and i started to to get pissed off