Italians and their rules

[Anonymous No.17004050]

>supposedly a jolly, laid-back people
>completely anal about food
Today I made a meal out of some leftovers I needed to use up, mainly bacon. I also had canned clams that I was originally going to use in a chowder. I realized I could make linguine and clams in white sauce. But actually I didn't have linguine, so it was angel hair, clams, clam juice, white wine, and fresh parsley. But then I also put bacon, red pepper flake, and parmesan cheese in it, so it was like partially an Americanized carbonara too.

Anyhow, it's delicious, but I'm sure I just gave any supposedly laid-back Italian a fucking heart attack reading this.

[Anonymous No.17004051]

>>17004050
>>supposedly a jolly, laid-back people
stopped reading there lmao

[Anonymous No.17004057]

>>17004050
They're just protective of their traditions. Like if your mom saw someone giving a bad blowjob.

[Anonymous No.17004058]

>>17004051
They have some fancy word like spetreezeo or something that means "I didn't comb my hair". And then all the famous Italian chefs like Nick Stelleno and Lydia Bosconovitch are always like, "Ciao familia, I'm so happy, everything is love," before they start in about authentic and the old country and all that blackshirt-level rules about how to cook a noodle.

[Anonymous No.17004066]

food is the only thing they have

[Anonymous No.17004077]

>>17004050
>angel hair
fuck you

[Anonymous No.17004079]

>A thread every day about how Italians are elitist about their food
>Have literally never once encountered an Italian that's elitist about their food
>I've only ever encountered people who claim Italians are elitist about their food
Really makes you think.

[Anonymous No.17004082]

>>17004079
Are we just trapped in a hall of meme mirrors?

[Anonymous No.17004089]

>>17004077
I had mistakenly picked it up, thought it was spaghetti.

[Anonymous No.17004108]

>>17004050
idk i love red sauce tho

having pasta for dinner tomorrow with pic related

[Anonymous No.17004110]

>>17004082
More like memerrors amirite???

[Anonymous No.17004129]

>>17004050
im pretty sure italians only are anal if you try to make things completely different and still try to call them with the actual name. im pretty sure no one cares if you put pancetta instead of guanciale if you cant find it, but if you put peas and ham in it dont call it carbonara. people in texas wouldnt appreciate someone passing a totally different thing as "texan bbq" or whatever. i dont know amerishit food

[Anonymous No.17004231]

Italian here, being anal about food is the most reddit thing ever. Of course we have a culture of food and of course being a patriarchal society if the father likes his pasta without onions everybody i soing to eat without onions.
That said, Italy was one of the first countries to publish cookbooks, and Artusi was the cpokbook that in a sense unified Italy after the unification.
So some recipes are very important as a means of creating an imagined community. Pasta was a trashy street food until it was memed into becoming a symbol of "italianità".
Also we have regional tradition and fusion with immigrants coming back: in Palermo Sicily you can find new york style pizzas because of all the italian americans that flee the mafia wars in the 80s and 90s, went to Nyc and came back once they were safe, bringing back this new york stule pizza. Some of them had a pizza named literally Negro Style with chicken and Bbq sauce. This process is influencing youth ofcourse and changing the anality regarding cuisine.
I have plenty of anal friends but they can cook really good, they are just precise about tradition

[Anonymous No.17004342]

>>17004231
I respect the tradition big time, that is the way to preserve these great dishes. Keep it up. Would like to learn the right way of cooking these dishes, like the 4 great pasta dishes of Rome. Any advice?

[Anonymous No.17004357]

>>17004079
I think, as an Italian I can give a definitive answer to that (or at least that it's shared by almost every Italian).

Food is a very important part of our culture, so we obviously get butthurt if you butcher Italian recipes, but otherwise we really don't care a lot.

Practical example: a couple years ago I did a 2 week school trip to Ireland with my school during summer, and we were all divided in groups of 2-3 people staying with some locals while we were there (similar to Erasmus projects). One evening the woman we were staying at said she was going to prepare us her version of the carbonara, and we were pretty worried about it. In the end it was very good actually, it simply wasn't a carbonara.

>Tl,dr: don't call Italian things that aren't Italian and nobody will ever have anything to say against you

[Anonymous No.17004422]

So while you were making some disgusting canned clam dish with pasta, you had an argument with some Italians that reside in your head telling you that you were making a mistake? Maybe you’re just psychotic and retarded, especially for calling a noodle dish where you just dump in whatever is in your pantry as carbonara

[eggman No.17004472]

Ask a Chinese person how they like their noodles, and it's usually not too soft, not too hard, just right
Ask an Italian and they say, without any explanation given, that it has to be hard as fuck, even though this tastes much worse.
They're just making up rules for the sake of rules.

[Anonymous No.17004485]

>>17004472
Are you retarded? Italians say “al dente” which is JUST above all the way cooked. It’s to prevent carryover cooking from turning your pasta into mush you retarded fag

[Anonymous No.17004488]

>>17004050
>Italians
>laid-back

[Anonymous No.17004588]

>>17004485
Shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.17004739]

>>17004050
Most people don't give too much of a shit. The autistic responses on 4chan are mostly made by bored non-descriptly white people. Any mildly upset Italians are probably just hooking their dead nonnas up to some magnets and wrapping their caskets in wire - might as well get free energy out of the old world, OG soup nazis.

[Anonymous No.17004763]

>>17004231
>Italy was one of the first countries to publisb cookbooks

Not true in any sense

[Anonymous No.17004805]

>>17004050
>Imagine scenario
>Why are Italians like this?
Outrage culture has rotted your brain.

[Anonymous No.17004947]

>>17004050
>supposedly a jolly, laid-back people
>completely anal about food
Yes. The two are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous No.17004974]

>>17004066
They have italo-disco and eurobeat.

[Anonymous No.17004981]

>>17004763
It's probably true if you count the Roman Empire, although some people would argue that the Hebrew Bible has some recipes and should count.

[Anonymous No.17005036]

>jolly, laid-back people

[Anonymous No.17005053]

>>17004763
it is true counting romans and specially after 1860 ('modern country' should have said) because it served as a mean to unify culturally a young country.
Regarding Renaissance, cooking books were made by the elites in the courts, so of course you got books in french, german, spanish, english etc, laso chinese and indian and arabs were writing recipes, mostly as medical advices.
>>17004342
you should find youtube videos in italian, recipes videos are pretty easy to understand even in another language.
talking about pasta, carbonara is the one that makes seethe the reddit minded italian cuisine anals, the only thing a foreign chef has to do to gain instant notoriety here is to publish a video with a revisited recipe for the carbonara and the media wont stop bitching about it for weeks. if OP made a video about his dinner and called it 'Carbonara recipe' he would be famous in the matter of minutes

[Anonymous No.17005055]

>>17004050
>>rent free

Op is making dinner at home while seething the whole time thinking how mad italians would be at him lol. Make your food and just eat it faggot

[Anonymous No.17005148]

American on the left, Italian on the right.

[Anonymous No.17005173]

>>17004050
>supposedly a jolly, laid-back people
>completely anal about food
Both hilariously false, lol: Italians are extremely litigious angry snobs and it's basically impossible for them to be anal about their food when every town has its own variation of everything and no way to decide on what the standard variant ought to be.
That said, hardly anyone of them gives a fuck about foreign takes on their cuisine, that's a specialty of mutts whose only connection to their perceived heritage is distantly italian inspired tri-state cuisine.

[Anonymous No.17005254]

>>17005173
>Italians are extremely litigious angry snobs
Do you believe in this yourself, or do you lie about it? I bet you never even met an Italian in your life. "Italian"-Americans don't count as Italians.

[Anonymous No.17005255]

>>17004050
>Italians
>jolly, laid-back people

[Anonymous No.17005301]

>>17005254
I live on the italian border, so 've met a shitload of them.
Believe me, there's nothing they like more than disagree with each other, all the shitflinging you see here on4chan between northerners and southerners is fucking nothing compared to the level rival cities can reach. Or football fans for that matter.

[Anonymous No.17005315]

>>17004057
spit out my coffee, thank you

[Anonymous No.17005324]

>>17005036
>you will never eat at the cafe & gelato place under the Mussolini sign.

Feels bad

[Anonymous No.17005332]

>>17004588
Btfo

[Anonymous No.17005344]

>>17004058
Lydia only larps as italian cause they're more popular with burgers

[Anonymous No.17005353]

>>17004058
>They have some fancy word like spetreezeo or something that means "I didn't comb my hair".
I get the impression you're referring to "sprezzatura".

[Anonymous No.17005391]

>>17004050
>so it was like partially an Americanized carbonara too.
I'm sure it was tasty, but it's not carbonara. That's the problem. It's like saying "I made nigiri sushi but instead of rice I used spaghetti and instead of fish I used a chicken nugget"

[Anonymous No.17005410]

>>17004050
>supposedly a jolly, laid-back people
you're thinking of hobbits

[Anonymous No.17005457]

>>17004050
>today I made a dish and called it a name
>said name refers to a specific recipe that my dish did not follow
>clearly the problem lays with the people confused with my defiance of naming conventions
Rather than italians I'd worry about giving a fucking heart attack to pedants regardless of nationality. Everyone else will just calmly think you an idiot.

[Anonymous No.17005469]

>>17004050
How would you like if I took some ground beef, fried it in a pan and called it Texas BBQ?

[Anonymous No.17005472]

>>17004050
Being anal about food is usually a good thing. Imagine if people were anal about more serious things

[Anonymous No.17005689]

>>17004058
> They have some fancy word that means "i don't comb by hair"
What the fuck are you taking about? The word you are referring to is probably "spettinato" which is "disheveled" in normal English
What the hell is a fancy word ?

[Anonymous No.17005724]

>>17005301
That's the best thing about Italians
Pisa merda

[Anonymous No.17005730]

>>17005724
t. livornese

[Anonymous No.17005737]

>>17005472
Imagine if people were more serious about anal

[Anonymous No.17005746]

>>17004129
It's not a totally different thing if you add peas. It's the same thing with peas added. I don't know why some people have so much trouble wrapping their head around this. There's no sense making a new word for carbonara with peas and cream in it.

[Anonymous No.17005751]

>>17004129
If I put peas on a BBQ sandwich it would still be a BBQ sandwich there would just be peas on it

[Anonymous No.17005755]

They literally romanticize their corrupt nigger behavior, because they are a shit tier people who like to take credit for stuff that isn't even theirs. Shitalians are niggers, don't you forget that OP.

[Anonymous No.17005779]

>>17004129
Hey dipshit, every culture alters recopies to fit their local taste. Just because your whore nana sucked cock on the side while making spaghetti, doesn't mean everyone else has to.

[Anonymous No.17005782]

>>17005469
BBQ isn't fried in a pan, I'd just call you a retard. A spaghetti dish with different ingredients is still spaghetti, you dumb nigger. Italians also aren't white.

[Anonymous No.17007224]

>>17005782
Yeah, and the Romans weren't white either even though they all looked like fat guys from New Jersey.

[Anonymous No.17007352]

>>17005315
Someone buy this gentlesir and scholar 4chan Silver to make up for the loss of his coffee ;_;7

[Anonymous No.17007358]

>>17007224
>Italians are white because they look like Italians
Zip it Giovanni Rosenberg.

[Anonymous No.17007407]

For me it’s long nosed, black haired, musky smelling Italian witch women like that lady on yootoob and her soycuck American husbando who make the “Do Americans really” videos about Italian food. Also that witch whose father made kino Italo-horror and then she hexed Tony Bourdain with an an hero curse. I shall not name her as it gives her power.

[Anonymous No.17007427]

>>17004231
>Negro Style with chicken and Bbq sauce.
BBQ chicken is one of the most popular pizzas in australia

[Anonymous No.17007458]

>>17005782
shut the fuck up you ameriscum cunt

[i'm a colonel in bf2 No.17007463]

>>17007358
dilate, nigger.

[Anonymous No.17007505]

>>17007358
kys.

[Anonymous No.17007509]

>>17007358
kys

[Anonymous No.17007690]

>>17004050
They are not jolly and laid back and your recipe has nothing to do with carbonara. It's clams in white wine sauce which is a real italian dish. That's like making a burger and calling it a pastrami sandwich

[Anonymous No.17007704]

>>17007690
What if the burger is made of ground pastrami?

[Anonymous No.17007846]

>>17004079
Italian from Jersey here (aka: real Italian, not a European fairy)
I'm elitist about food

[Anonymous No.17007893]

>>17005746
I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as carbonara, is in fact, carbonara/peas, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, carbonara plus peas. Carbonara is not the dish unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning Italian system made useful by the green peas, cream, and vital flavor components comprising a full dish as defined by Gordon Ramsay.

Many home chefs eat a modified version of the carbonara recipe every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of carbonara with peas which is widely eaten today is often called carbonara, and many of its eaters are not aware that it is basically British, developed by Gordon Ramsay.

There really is a carbonara, and these people are eating it, but it is just a part of the dish they eat. Carbonara is the foundation: the noodles in the system that allocate the dish's pecorino to the other ingredients that you eat. The peas are an essential part of a dish, but useless by themselves; they can only function in the context of a complete meal. Carbonara is normally used in combination with the peas and cream: the whole system is basically carbonara with peas added, or carbonara/peas. All the so-called carbonara dishes are really variants of carbonara/peas!

[Anonymous No.17008102]

>>17007407
For me, it's sweet northern Italian Mary Jane https://youtu.be/lryR0OTvQp8

[Anonymous No.17008133]

>>17004050
>clams
>cheese

off yourself, my dude

[Anonymous No.17008158]

>>17004058
Sprezzatura is about presenting an image which appears nonchalant when in fact it's carefully controlled and cultivated.
Which is pretty much the opposite of being laid-back; it's actually deeply neurotic.

Anyway, it sounds like you made a pasta dish you enjoyed with whatever ingredients you had lying around. I doubt anyone Italian or otherwise will be mad at you for this; it's just not carbonara.

[Anonymous No.17008243]

>>17004050
think they would mind if I ate the toppings off a pizza and skipped the crust?

[Anonymous No.17008525]

>>17007846
Thoughts on gabagool?

[Anonymous No.17008616]

>>17008525
Ova ear!

[Anonymous No.17008693]

>>17008525
Oh, forget about it

[Anonymous No.17008723]

>>17004050
italia bros
how much cream do I put in my carbonara?

[Anonymous No.17008734]

>>17008723
No more than 100mm, preferably 75mm or less, make sure it's brought to room temperature first and only add it when the egg is on the verge of finishing.

[Anonymous No.17008846]

>>17008723
No cream, of course

[Anonymous No.17008874]

>>17008723
Not sure if troll or not, but NO cream.
It is not easy to manage the eggs who must not fey but have to be added at the right temeperature to create the trademark yellow cream with cooking eater and pecorino. Sometines I pulled it off, sometimes I fucked it uo, but I am not a roman so I just try for fun, when I make traditional food of my region I follow the rules and I am way more good at it since I saw then cooked many times by my family.

[Anonymous No.17009207]

>>17004050
> but I'm sure I just gave any supposedly laid-back Italian a fucking heart attack reading this.
It sounds like shit desu

> canned clams
> angel hair with seafood
> bacon and cheese with clams

Everything you made was a mistake, culinary speaking, not just by italian grammar.

The whole point of the thread is you having a shit palate, it doesn't matter what cuisine you are trying to butcher

[Anonymous No.17009219]

>>17004050
I think you need to stop watching shit cooking youtubers and touch grass.

[Anonymous No.17009224]

>>17004108
>Carbs at night
Ngmi

[Anonymous No.17009287]

>>17005751

But if you put a pea in a smoker covered in salt and pepper for 12-16 hours that would not be BBQ... or maybe it would...

[Anonymous No.17009323]

>>17004050
I'm not bothered, no need to generalize, food is food, sounds good enough to eat.

But canned clams what the fuck sounds disgusting.

[Anonymous No.17009329]

4 and italy is carpet bombed in 2030

[Anonymous No.17009354]

Wait till you hear about the French and their rules

[Anonymous No.17009359]

>>17009354
Such as?

[Anonymous No.17009366]

>>17009354
yeah tell us about the french you seem very informed

[Anonymous No.17009382]

>>17007358
>try to do d&i among euros
>call others jew

[Anonymous No.17009388]

i have italian heritage and i couldnt give less of a fuck about what you do with your food or your pasta

i break spaghetti into quarters just so they fit into a smaller pot so i dont have to wash a larger one, and people rage at me as if ive broken the law. imagine being fucking triggered over someone who still ends up consuming the exact same food

[Anonymous No.17009396]

>>17004050
dumb anon, the only people who "care" about this shit are americans

[Anonymous No.17009400]

>>17009388
>i have italian heritage
no one asked

[Anonymous No.17009422]

>>17009400
oh yea because i came here to post about how important being italian is in a context other than the OP literally talking about italians while im "Anonymous" to boost my ego

[Anonymous No.17009424]

>>17009422
You're not Italian

[Anonymous No.17009484]

>>17008723
No cream only egg yolk

[Anonymous No.17009669]

>>17005301
Really not exclusive to Italians desu and I say that as a French who has lived for more than 2 years in the Netherlands and in the UK but also travelled for shorter periods of times in other countries including Italy / Spain. People are more or less the same everywhere, every region has their own culture, some have their own old language and traditions and yes they will argue with people from the same country. Let's not even talk about football mate.

[Anonymous No.17009692]

>>17004050
The macho Italian male behaviour they think is tough is so embarrassing and childish it's quite funny they think it's cool.

[Anonymous No.17009729]

There’s a lot of assumptions. Assumptions that Italians are super selective and hyper critical of food. My company once had several Italians visit for a tour of my place of work. We all went to a local, shitty family restaurant where pretty much everything is fried. Every single Italian devoured their plates of this mediocre, greasy, processed, American food. They didn’t leave a single crumb on their plates.

They’re either like every other human that likes to indulge in unhealthy junk food or they were being polite. I doubt it was the polite part though. Seemed pretty authentic

[Anonymous No.17009814]

>>17009729
Too many people are so disconnected with reality that they think the internet = real lfe. If Italians would beat you up because you didn't follow the recipe of their nonna then all Asians would poison your drink because you didn't cook rice like their grandmother did in the jungle. Youtube comments, internet shitposting boards, twitter, that's not real. Wake up faggots and swallow the /trv/ pill once gayvid19 is over.

[Anonymous No.17009822]

>>17004231
Thank you for the Christmas gift idea. The book is more than 200 bucks in places!

[Anonymous No.17009833]

>>17009814
Lol. Lived with Asians and one time put butter on my rice in front of the family. They all just look confused

I agree. Most of these idiots just sit in front of their computers and argue over assumptions

[Anonymous No.17011190]

>>17004058
Luv me blackshirts
Luv mussolini
Luv sir oswald mosley
Simple as

[Anonymous No.17011287]

>>17009224
Elaborate. Calories are calories regardless of time

[Anonymous No.17011657]

>>17011287
I'm not a scientist but I guess your metabolism is slower during the night for obvious reasons and most importantly unless you go out and do something you don't burn those calories

[Anonymous No.17012000]

>>17004129
This. Cook chinese pepper short rib and see how yanks like it when you call it "texas bbq rib" or make prawn laksa and tell people it's "louisiana shrimp ettoufe". Yanks are great but they are retarded when it comes to geography, anthropology etc;

[Anonymous No.17013123]

>>17004066
And Lamborghini, and Giorgio Armani, and Bottega Veneta

[Anonymous No.17013477]

>>17004066
amerimutt moment

[Anonymous No.17013724]

>>17007846
You’re just a mutt.

[Anonymous No.17014151]

>>17004110
FUCK YOU NIGGER WORST JOKE EVER

[Anonymous No.17014161]

i put chipotles in my ragu

[Anonymous No.17014180]

>>17004422
Lmao OP absolutely destroyed

[Anonymous No.17014188]

>>17004050
>supposedly a jolly, laid-back people
says who. italians are famous for yelling at each other more than anything

[Anonymous No.17014194]

>>17004057
Oh! That's his mudda we're talkin about!

[Anonymous No.17014260]

>>17013724
Why do people do this
Are you trying to play the straight man or are you that genuinely autistic that you couldn't tell that he was joking?

[Anonymous No.17014845]

>>17004050
Wops are retarded. News at 11.

[Anonymous No.17014852]

>>17009382
>>17007509
>>17007505
>>17007463
>we are white because we look like amerimutts

[Anonymous No.17015783]

>>17009224
i eat dinner at 6 pm and go to sleep at like 1 am, ill be alright

[Anonymous No.17015802]

>>17004066
They export a lot of high dollar, fancy shit. Their history is also the coolest in Europe IMO. I'd rather visit the coliseum than those stupid Bong stones.

[Anonymous No.17015867]

>>17004050
>But then I also put bacon, red pepper flake, and parmesan cheese in it, so it was like partially an Americanized carbonara too.
If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike.

[Anonymous No.17016610]

>>17009207
>no youre lot allowed to enjoy that combination of foods, its makes me uneasy
shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.17016625]

>>17008734
>10mm
i am not getting a measuring tape out while cooking

[Anonymous No.17017592]

>>17009224
>>17011657
Wrong. That's pure bullshit, if you gain weight by eating carbs at night then you ate more than your TDEE. Also carbs are great at night since they literally help with seratonin levels which make you sleep better.
t. Personal Trainer

[Anonymous No.17017978]

https://youtu.be/YsBipoG22Nw

[Anonymous No.17019142]

>>17016610
> its makes me uneasy
I'm just calling you a uncultured swine, you can enjoy rolling in your mud as much as you like, it doesn't make me "uneasy" you retard

[Anonymous No.17019165]

>>17019142
Some say "All you care to eat now" because of some lawsuit that was won.

[Anonymous No.17019167]

>>17019142
>uncultured for not liking what i like
kys

[Anonymous No.17019170]

>>17004057

[Anonymous No.17019222]

I'm Italian and I enjoyed the food of every european country I visited, even their pasta dishes. Even in the Netherlands i enjoyed every visit to the restaurant, even if it seems that every internet food expert hates dutch food. I've never been outside of Europe though.

[Anonymous No.17019672]

>>17019167
Yes, you have shit taste