/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16742416]

What was the dumbest mistake you made in the kitchen?

[Anonymous No.16742429]

I managed to drop an entire tray of home made pizza on the oven door and floor, face down naturally.

[Anonymous No.16742439]

>>16742416
How retarded is this person? Just go fast enough for centripetal force to keep it in the pan and flip it onto the plate EZ.

[Anonymous No.16742450]

Today I added WAY too much flour to my roux

Rookie mistake desu

[Anonymous No.16742454]

>>16742450
>roux-kie
You trying to be funny?

[Anonymous No.16742475]

>deepfrying some fish n chips
>fish slips out of my fingers
>hits the bottom of the basket
>OH SHIT NIGGA THAT GUNNA STICK
>grab some tongs and pull it off the bottom
>batter looks fine so I put the fish back in
>see a bit off batter stuck to the tongs
>absentmindedly wipe it off with my bare hand

[G8rH8r No.16742494]

>>16742416
most recent I can thing of is pulling the dutch oven out of oven with pot holders, sitting it down and immediately grabbing the lid bare handed like a dumbass

[Anonymous No.16742502]

>get buzzed
>boil eggs
>Wanted hard-boiled eggs but I soft boiled them
>instead of putting the eggs back to cook a little longer I throw them out
Whoops

[Anonymous No.16742528]

>>16742416
I once lit pizza bagels on fire in the microwave when i was a kid. I put them in for 23 minutes instead of 2:30.

[Anonymous No.16742539]

>>16742416
Probably the smartest, but my friend asked me to help fund the startup of his food truck. It's not unsuccessful, but it would've never worked with me as a partner.

[Anonymous No.16742541]

>>16742439
Or you wait the thing to be fucking done right

[Anonymous No.16742554]

I tryed to make coconut cookies only remembering the recipe, everything went out of control, I had to try to make a cake instead and It turned out horribly.

[Anonymous No.16742560]

I spilled the salt and ruined a quiche

[Anonymous No.16742598]

I wanted a cup of juice so I absentmindedly grabbed a plate and poured juice on the plate.

[Anonymous No.16742631]

I dropped the slow cooker and the stoneware shattered

[Anonymous No.16742650]

>>16742475
post scar

[Anonymous No.16742652]

I never really open up when I'm feeling down, but I told her lately I am not doing so great lately, and having you there to listen really makes me feel a lot better. (this took place in the kitchen!)
She dumped me after Mass two days later and told me she'd been cheating on me.

[Anonymous No.16742663]

>>16742416
i think the worst ive done is add way too much salt to boil water

[ieatinmycar No.16742682]

>>16742416
I had a shitty stir fry pan's handle come apart from the pan when I did a flip over at my parents house.
It felt cheap as shit right from the get go and I ended up with lunch that I carefully marinated and prepped all over the place and I got too angry to finish cooking. It sounds made up but I literally ended up folding that shitty, thin ass pan with my hands and body. I definitely freaked out and now would have just cleaned up and moved on and made something else, but I was going through some frustrations with myself and my parents at that point and it was lame as fuck other than me actually folding a pan lol. It's just physics and is significantly easier with a damaged pan, there's videos on it. Sort of same principle as tearing a phonebook, you just need grip and have to know the trick.

[Anonymous No.16742693]

>>16742598
Plates can actually hold a lot more fluid than you'd think. You're still retarded, but the situation was salvageable.

[Anonymous No.16742829]

>>16742416
>bought king oyster mushrooms
>left them in the fridge for two weeks because I was too lazy to cook them sooner
>they still look okay-ish so I cook them anyway

My entire family complained non-stop about the smell. It took a while to convince them to let me cook mushrooms again.

[Anonymous No.16742876]

>>16742416
>First job in a pizza place
>told to clean the fryer, watched my boss do it last time and kind if remembered how he did it
>emptied the hot oil into a big ass pot but didn't close the valve
>dumped a small pot of water into the fryer, went straight into the oil
>shit bubbled up like a witches cauldron and covered the floor

Luckily the place had plenty of space so we just stepped back and let it work itself out. Only took like 30 minutes to clean up but it was a real pain in the ass to do.

[Anonymous No.16742984]

>>16742416
I had a ton of blueberries in the freezer. Decided to make a pie. used one of those metal contraptions with the plate and the wall that you latch onto it. I dunno if you have those in the US. Anyway, the bottom fell out as I took the pie out, and I got superheated blueberries all over the oven, in every nook and cranny. Burning itself into it in a very unpleasant way.

[Anonymous No.16743258]

>>16742416
>get home saturday morning from friday party
>be really hungry so put on some pasta in boiling water
>wake up a few hours later, entire flat looks like a turkish sauna
>the pasta is burnt black
>the heat was so intense the bakelite handles are partly burnt off
>smells of burnt bakelite + scented candles for the next 2 months in the entire flat

[Anonymous No.16743264]

Not wearing a condom while tenderizing the inside of my cordon bleu

[Anonymous No.16743281]

>>16742631
asshole

[Anonymous No.16743292]

Gave myself food poisoning by thawing out a chicken breast in hot water like a certified retard.

[Anonymous No.16743296]

>>16743264
hol up

[Anonymous No.16743305]

>>16742984
>used one of those metal contraptions with the plate and the wall that you latch onto it. I dunno if you have those in the US.
if you mean something like this then they're called springform pans

[Anonymous No.16743347]

>>16742416
I mistook baking powder for baking soda and my blackberry tarts turned bright green. A fun chemical reaction.

[Anonymous No.16743358]

>>16742416
I once knew this girl when I still lived at my parents. She was the kind of girl that makes it easy to treat her right as she was too stupid to respect her opinions.
A few months into dating her I had enough and was planning of ending it. But the pussy game was ridiculous. Tight, wet, nice beaver and the orgasm spasms...squeezed me dry everytime. So I came into my parents kitchen and saw her washing some potatoes in the sink, wearing a skirt. I rammed her from behind. It was a mess, her blouse got soaked and afterwards I had to scrub cum and pussy stains from the cupboards before my dad came home.
Anyway, that day I apparently gave her one more potato to wash. We only noticed a month later, trapping me in a marriage with a retard and retard jr. I call him taters and the little shit has no idea why. Sometimes I catch him making threads on /ck/.
That was the dumbest mistake I ever made in a kitchen. Goes to show, safety first when handling hot things.

[Anonymous No.16743360]

>>16743292
That doesn't sound like the sole reason. Either it was funky from the start or you thawed it for a long ass time. Same would have happened in cold water with just a few hours difference before either hot or cold goes room temp.
You don't thaw it in warm water because it partially cooks the chicken's surface.

[Anonymous No.16743415]

>>16742416
made a stock and strained it over the sink.
forgot to put a bowl underneath the strainer.
stock went down the drain.

[Anonymous No.16743447]

>>16743292
I've been thawing chicken in warm tapeter for years, never had any issues. You probably had some nasty ass bird in the first place

[Anonymous No.16743449]

Made coffee everyday with a moka pot and never cleaned the pot. Release valve got blocked and it burst, releasing hot coffe grounds and water all over the ceiling

[Anonymous No.16743461]

>>16742416
Forgetting to re-thread the cold water pipe collar after changing the seal.

[Anonymous No.16743467]

>>16743360
>>16743447
Or he literally put it into hot tap water, no freezer bag.
Gnarly shit living in the hot water pipes.

[Anonymous No.16743493]

>>16742652
>I never really open up when I'm feeling down, but I told her lately I am not doing so great lately, and having you there to listen really makes me feel a lot better. (this took place in the kitchen!)
>She dumped me after Mass two days later and told me she'd been cheating on me.

[Anonymous No.16743522]

>>16742416
i let malcolm in the middle distract me while my kitchen counter top drenched itself in boiled over alfredo

[Anonymous No.16743655]

>>16742416
>cooking something simple on autopilot mode
>can't remember if I added spice
>Ehh probably didn't lets add some
>Food done, time to eat
>taste nothing but spice

[Anonymous No.16743660]

>>16743360
that's why if you defrost chicken in water you replace the water every 15 minutes.
and you don't use hot or warm water.

[Anonymous No.16743678]

>>16742416
This one time I boiled pasta without adding salt to the water. I'm lucky to still be alive!

[Anonymous No.16743680]

>>16742416
Started cooking.

[Anonymous No.16743722]

>>16742416
>made a medium sized batch of bread at work
>forget the actual god damn yeast
>realize after shaping the bread

[Anonymous No.16743856]

>>16742984
Are you Finnish? Because if you are, I'm 100% sure that they weren't blueberries.

[Anonymous No.16743878]

>>16742429
>I managed to drop an entire tray of home made pizza on the oven door and floor, face down naturally.
This is my worst nightmare

[Anonymous No.16743889]

>>16743358

[Anonymous No.16743895]

>>16742416
Gripped a cast iron pan that I had just taken out of the oven, giving me blistering burns on my palm and pads of all my fingers

[Anonymous No.16743969]

I thought to make things "caramelised" you need to make actual caramel. I also thought that caramel was just cooked sugar so I put a bunch of sugar in a pan and nearly suffocated to death in my own kitchen

[Anonymous No.16743997]

>Got home from the bar trashed as hell
>Put three full size frozen pizzas in the oven and turned it on
>Passed out
>Got woken up by firemen in my apartment
>Neighbor had called the fire department due to the smell and blaring smoke detector

[Anonymous No.16743998]

>>16742416
>What was the dumbest mistake you made in the kitchen?
I was not using it and eating outside/ordering food

[Anonymous No.16744008]

Put pizza on stone, sling stone in max preheated oven, pizza slides off into the back of the oven. Shit smokes everywhere and chars onto everything. Get mad and pick up the stone to throw it. Burn the shit out of my hands. Punch a hole in the wall, and a door, and break a window out of anger. Start arguing with my wife and yelling at my kids. Left the oven fucked up for a week and then flies starting infesting the unburnt portions and had flies for weeks. Fixed the window and got the wife to clean but the holes are still there.

[Anonymous No.16744104]

>>16744008
>arguing with my wife and yelling at my kids
why do you people browse and post here?

[Anonymous No.16744538]

>>16742829
Thank you for the warning, I have a week old king oyster and I will now be disposing of it.

Alternatively, did they taste off after you cooked them? I might try and sautee it while the family's out

[Anonymous No.16744554]

>>16742876
OIL + WATER = NO-NO
How is this not rudimentary knowledge by now?

[Anonymous No.16744578]

When I first started cooking I thought a clove of garlic was the whole fucking bulb

[Anonymous No.16744684]

>>16742416
Well I tried making mayonaise from 30 eggs in one row, first time ever

[Anonymous No.16744954]

i cracked open a can of vegetable oil-spray and tried to deep-fry chicken with its contents, the oil turned into a foul-smelling foam

[Anonymous No.16745158]

>>16742475
>>absentmindedly wipe it off with my bare hand
I've done the same with marshmallow roasting fork that spent several minutes in the fire.

[Anonymous No.16745194]

>>16742541
THIS
There's no way that thing was ready to come out of the pan.

[Anonymous No.16745199]

>>16742528
Lol, I remember when I smoked weed too.

[Anonymous No.16745205]

>>16742652
>dumped me after Mass two days later and told me she'd been cheating on me.
Never trust a Christfag.

[Anonymous No.16745238]

>>16742416
finger banged my highschool girlfriend in the kitchen while my parents were in the living room. like 2 minutes after I chopped a half bushel lbs of jalapenos. With no gloves. Without washing my hands after cutting out the seeds and membranes.

[Anonymous No.16745251]

>>16742416
My son

[Anonymous No.16746588]

>>16742541
>>16742439
put a toothpick or knife in? it's not 'done' if the wet batter sticks to the toothpick as you take it out?

[Anonymous No.16746591]

>>16742450
idiot
idiot

[Anonymous No.16746594]

>>16742429
Wait until you graduate to putting in a pizza at midnight, drinking and getting high, passing out, then realize it's 9AM and the pizza is still in there.

[Anonymous No.16748110]

>>16743415
Same except i worked in a buffet at the time, luckily none of my colleagues noticed

[Anonymous No.16748248]

>>16746588
That's not how question marks work.

[Anonymous No.16748297]

>>16742652
revealing your feels showed how pathetic you are in her eyes. Crying men aren't attractive to women no matter what they say. She has gone against God and will get hers though (then again if you're a Catholic, your paganism allows mental reservation as a way for you Jesuits to do evil.)

[Anonymous No.16748319]

posted it in another thread here but I went to the trouble of making fresh mayo with a stick blender, thought I'd fucked it up since it was a watery mess, and only after I'd put everything away did I realise I'd forgot to add the eggs.

[Anonymous No.16748327]

>put bacon in the pan under tinfoil at 400
>black smoke comes out of friends oven and wakes up his family at 4 a.m.

[Anonymous No.16748335]

First time I opened a pull tab can I sliced my finger to the bone.

I grabbed a stainless steel pan out of a 350° oven without thinking about it, luckily no scar.

[Anonymous No.16748868]

>>16746588
twitter tranny detected

[Anonymous No.16748881]

>>16742416
I set a kettle to boil and promptly forgot about it.
The smoke alarm reminded me, having boiled all the water away and melting all the plastic on it.
Worst part is it wasn’t my kettle, it was my roommate’s

[Anonymous No.16748911]

>>16748297
>She has gone against God and will get hers though
Step back into reality kiddo

[Anonymous No.16748914]

>>16748335
How did you live to the age of 75 without ever using a pull tab before?

[Anonymous No.16748947]

>>16745238
Based

[Anonymous No.16749007]

>>16742652
That fucking sucks man, I hope you're doing okay.

[Anonymous No.16749011]

Every mistake that you made was progress towards making you a better cook. Progress necessitates experimentation. Experimentation entails a few mistakes. It's all necessary.

Today I tried forming oatmeal patties with my hands after plopping the gloop onto the pan.

[Anonymous No.16749021]

made a cheese cake with a water bath and didn't properly waterproof it so it was soggy as fuck in the bottom

[Anonymous No.16749034]

>>16749021
Did this myself, put it on a baking sheet upside-down on nonstick foil under the broiler to crisp the crust. Looked kind of misshapen afterwards but it was still delicious.

[Anonymous No.16750396]

>>16742439
The real retardation was not letting it cook completely

[Anonymous No.16750399]

Moths and fruit flies. God, that was fucking awful.

[Anonymous No.16750431]

>>16743997
Stoners need to get microwave food instead of oven food

[Anonymous No.16750456]

Best thing i learned from this thread is to not touch the stove/oven when I'm drunk

[Anonymous No.16750484]

>>16748911
Ah yes the epic faggots free from religion are a great reality

[Anonymous No.16750633]

>>16742652
you should always be cheating 100% so that if this happens you just don't care. expect it next time, be prepared

[Anonymous No.16750725]

I made and ate habernero nachos and then fapped, and the residual pepper oil was giving me a pleasant burning sensation around the top of my dick so the next night I took a pepper and rubbed it all over the head of my dick and down in the hole and everything and started fapping, like a minute later it started to hurt too bad to keep a boner and I realized I had made a mistake, I tried dunking it in a glass of milk and it didn't help, I pretty much just layed in bed curled up the rest of the night and fell asleep like that once it stopped hurting as much

[Anonymous No.16750734]

>>16742416
I once spilled boiled sugar all over my hand. Not fun.

[Anonymous No.16750891]

>cleaned watercooker with vinegar and forgot to rinse it afterwards
>left the stove on and put the pot and plastic colander back on it. the colander was gone and the pot was never the same again either so i had to put it down. i think they sizzled away for about an hour

>>16749011
based and optimismpilled

[Anonymous No.16750894]

>>16742416
I used a dash of salt instead of a pinch and ruined my flambè

[Anonymous No.16750962]

I forgot to add water to the lower pot in the boiler when making steamed broccoli. I had the element on max and didn't notice that there was no water in for about 20 minutes. When I finally noticed, the bottom pot had gotten red hot and the broccoli in the upper portion of the boiler was burning. In my panic I retardedly decided to put water in the red hot pan.

Basically ruined the pot by cooling it off so quickly. Later I learned that if you quench extremely hot stainless steel super quickly like that, you cause the chromium to come out of the solution with the steel. So that pot is now rusty as fuck and looks like total shit. These weren't my pots either, they were my girlfriend's who I had just moved in with.

[Anonymous No.16750986]

>>16742682
Sounds like you still have some problems, if this was the middle ages they would of put you in a dungeon ogre man

[Anonymous No.16751002]

>>16743358
What

[Anonymous No.16751503]

>>16749011
honestly accurate, i tell people who ask me how i learned to cook so well that everything i do that turned out right is the result of 100 different fuckups that they didn't see

[Anonymous No.16751660]

>>16742652
Reading this put me in a bad mood for actually like 20 minutes.

[Anonymous No.16751950]

>>16742416
>As a kid making ramen
>Want to make it spicy
>Add red pepper
>Too spicy, what's the opposite of spicy?
>Add sugar
>Disgusting and still burns my mouth
Never really did too many stupid things other than burning myself on the top/upper lip of the oven taking a pizza out

[Anonymous No.16751955]

>>16751950
>finding sugar disgusting as a kid
What's it like being defective?

[Anonymous No.16751960]

>>16751955
That sugar was in beef flavor top ramen with a shitton of red pepper

[Anonymous No.16751963]

>>16751950
>>16751955
Also I just remembered it must have been Equal brand sweetener, since that's all I remember my grandma ever having

[Anonymous No.16751972]

>>16746594
kill yourself degenerate

[Anonymous No.16751973]

>*splashes burning hot oil onto your wrists when it hits the edge of the grill*
nothing personnel kid

[Anonymous No.16751995]

Forgot to add sugar to cookies once. Ate one from the first batch when it came out and damn near puked

[Anonymous No.16752003]

>>16742416
i slattered a tortilla with butter and brown sugar and threw it directly onto the stove top while under the influence and it caught on fire.

[Anonymous No.16752009]

>>16751963
Take it back then, sweetner tastes like sugar coated moldy piss.

[Anonymous No.16752016]

>>16751995
Honestly, I wouldn't have expected that to catch fire regardless of sobriety.

[Anonymous No.16752032]

>>16750725
You couldn’t have just ate more habanero nachos? What the fuck did you think rubbing a pepper would do

[Anonymous No.16752091]

>>16752032
You assume coomers are human, capable of abstract thought, and the ability to comprehend consequences. They are not.

[Anonymous No.16752124]

>>16752091
Okay Pseudfreud.

[Anonymous No.16752127]

[Anonymous No.16752135]

>>16752091
Idk man I regret reading your try hard comment

[Anonymous No.16752156]

Forgot I was boiling eggs once.
Came back 30 minutes later to the sounds of gunshots and sulfur.
The eggs started exploding after the water was all gone.

[Anonymous No.16752170]

>>16752124
>>16752135
If you were /b/tards you would understand the pain coomers have brought me. They think nothing of anything but busting the next nut. I crave OC like you wouldn't believe. I came here to escape them and I pray they never take over this board too.
Captcha: kkkak

[Anonymous No.16752172]

Dropped my phone while trying to take a video of one of the first beers I ever made.
I had to reach shoulder deep into boiling wort to retrieve it. Hurt like a bitch and I acted fast enough to save the phone.

[Anonymous No.16752176]

>>16752170
go back. this is a comfy fast food board, peasants like you are not tolerated

[Anonymous No.16752183]

>>16751950
I remember being irrationally mad as a kid that salt and pepper weren't actually opposites of each other.

[Anonymous No.16752209]

>>16742416
not me but some morons iwatch fell into a fryer and he stuck in his hand to try and grab it and somehow got it up to his forearm before he realised he fucked up.

[Anonymous No.16752220]

>make a box cake mix
>didnt stir the eggs with the flour mixture enough, cake had bits of white and yellow egg in the middle

[Anonymous No.16752227]

>>16743347
How did they taste?

[Anonymous No.16752246]

>>16752127
wtf was his plan

[Anonymous No.16752768]

>>16749011
I forgot milk in my clafoutis. lol

[Anonymous No.16752889]

>cook bacon
>hour later want to empty grease out
>don't have any glass jars
>figure the oil is cool enough after an hour that a plastic jug would be fine
>it wasn't fine

[Anonymous No.16753018]

Not me, but when I used to visit my old gf's house I'd notice how wobbly the pan handles where and used to screw them back on properly. One day she was deep frying in a saucepan, went to pick it up and the handle just fell right off. Thank fucking god it fell off before she could fully lift it up.

How the fuck didn't she see anything wrong with that?

[Anonymous No.16753110]

>>16748297
None of this is true. You were just dating an asshole.

[Anonymous No.16753116]

Using ground turkey for fucking anything ever

[Anonymous No.16753999]

>>16742416

>hammered on the 4th of July cooking sausages for friends
>having a blast
>sausage is almost done, just need to get the other side
>holy shit I'm Marco Pierre White
>try to flip sausages with a flick of the wrist
>tons of hot oil in the pan
>end up with second degree burns on my right hand and leg

Went to the hospital, got doped up and still went out. My friends ate the damn sausage still

[Anonymous No.16754005]

>>16742652
fuck that bitch dude. Sit back and take time to reflect, then start making positive changes. I promise you she'll regret it when you turn out to be more successful.

[Anonymous No.16754022]

>>16743895
I did the same thing when making baked risotto in a stainless skillet. it sucked

[Anonymous No.16754029]

>>16743997
I've done that before. I said that I made a cookie

[Anonymous No.16754245]

>>16742652
>I never really open up when I'm feeling down, but I told her lately I am not doing so great lately, and having you there to listen really makes me feel a lot better. (this took place in the kitchen!)
>She dumped me after Mass two days later and told me she'd been cheating on me.

[Anonymous No.16754301]

>>16742416
I used table salt instead of kosher

[Anonymous No.16754315]

>>16744554
They need to teach this shit in high school.

[Anonymous No.16754365]

>>16742652
I had something similar happen. Made me lose faith in my religion and is why I distrust women.

[Anonymous No.16754572]

>>16751972
Have sex loser

[Anonymous No.16754620]

>>16742652
she's a complete black hole of a human anon. fuck her. continue living knowing that you're better than people like that. godspeed.

[Anonymous No.16754638]

>poor af
>roomate and I use money for drugs
>eat at fast food/7-11 gas stations for nutrients
>a few brain cells which have survived alerted me that the grocery store would be cheaper
>Find pic related
>Purchase bread buns
>Realize my savings at checkout
>I am genius
>Pour can out
>Realize there is no meat
>Get bummed out
>Take a rip off the bong stare at the weather channel for an hour because lost remote

[Anonymous No.16754668]

>>16754029
Wrath cookie

[Anonymous No.16754825]

>pre-heat oven
>30 mins later, realise I left a pizza box in there
>kitchen smells like seared cardboard for the next 3 months

[Anonymous No.16754870]

>>16748248
>zoomers aren't learning what the elements of speech are

[Anonymous No.16754887]

>>16743305
America is the land of the cheesecake factory, of course we have spring form pans

[Anonymous No.16754923]

>>16742454
no u

[Anonymous No.16754967]

>>16754638
>>Take a rip off the bong stare at the weather channel for an hour because lost remote
Grim.

[Anonymous No.16754997]

Passed out drunk with a pan of chicken on the stove, woke up to my entire house filled with thick smoke, fire alarms screeching, and best pan ruined. Also, pic related, several times I've plopped one of these into a pan and not realized it put it foam/plastic pad thing side down, until my house smelled like burning plastic.

[Anonymous No.16755017]

>>16743895
kek I've done this. I even did the chef John trick of leaving a towel draped over the handle to protect myself, and still fucked it up and burned the sweet bajesus out of my hand.

[Anonymous No.16755041]

>>16743358
Having a kid with a dumb broad is probably the worst thing that can happen to a man, ever. You get to deal with the stupid, every, fucking, day. For the rest of your life.

[Anonymous No.16755055]

>>16743660
use a brine, you dumb nigger. thaws quickly and doesn't allow salmonella to grow.
>>16743292
you can actually die from doing that. lucky whatever you came down with wasn't enterohaemorrhagic E. coli

[Anonymous No.16755058]

>>16742416
just last week i grabbed the handle of my cast iron pan that had been sitting in the oven at 400 for a while

[Anonymous No.16755062]

had a barrel smoker with a water bowl for a heatsink. once the meat was done in a drunken stupor i tried to lift the whole smoker up and move it to where i clean it out, well the bowl got dislodged and i spilled steaming hot water/grease all over my feet. was wearing flip flops so i had a nice shoe outline for a month or so from the burns.

[Anonymous No.16755076]

>>16752127
how can one man be so fucking retarded

[Anonymous No.16755167]

>>16742652
don't worry God will handle this adulterer

[Anonymous No.16755189]

>>16744954
Huh ? It's not just oil ????

[Anonymous No.16755221]

>>16754923
no roux!

[Anonymous No.16755325]

>>16742416
day 1
put in a ceramic plate at 350°f (180°c) to warm up some wraps, forget about it, remember it, jump up, become full retard and touch the 180°c warm plate with my thumb.
big ouchie, very big blister on my thump. it even made a noise.

day2:
thump is basically useless and very big hurty, make peperoni pizza. pidser done, use one hand to put it on a plate, manage to fuck it up somehow, the pidser drops, i somehow go full supreme overlord retard and use my non-thumb burned and and try to catch it (i dont even know i was very high)

pidser peperoni and salami lands on the bakc of my hand, severe burns, blisters all over again.
from my expierence i knew that painkillers did shit the day before so i just got drunk as fuck to manage the pain.
that was the most retarded bullshit i ever did, two days in a row. i had to go to a doc to treat the pidser burns, they were pretty severe. hurt like shit.

[Anonymous No.16755328]

>Love Rabbit
>Got given 5 conies by a friend
>Cook em up for a whole day in a stew
>burn the bottom in the last hour

I was heartbroken

[Anonymous No.16755330]

I tried to change the egg sticks on my electric hand mixer but I forgot to turn it off first. My whole arm got sucked in between the sticks

[Anonymous No.16755767]

>>16755325
f

[Anonymous No.16755794]

>>16755055
literally does nothing.

[Anonymous No.16755807]

>>16755794
You are a fool. A properly brined chicken will stay moist up to 165 degrees, not that i cook it to that temp anymore.

[Anonymous No.16755830]

>make some espresso brownies like in a youtube video
>it demands adding icecubes to the butter and espresso mix in a pan while warm
>well it works in the video
>explode hot butter and espresso mix all over my kitchen cause I retard actually do that
Fun. The Brownies turned out fucking fantastic though.

[Anonymous No.16755978]

>boiling eggs
>step outside
>get distracted
>come back later to find exploded egg shrapnel in every nook and cranny of the kitchen

[Anonymous No.16756396]

>decide to make banana bread
>pour batter in glass loaf pan and start baking in the oven
>get bright idea that some strong coffee (moka) would go great with a slice of banana bread
>take banana bread out of the oven and leave on stove top to cool
>prepare moka pot and put on an element on the stove
>turn on wrong element and walk away
>several minutes later smoke alarm goes off
>kitchen is filled with smoke from burning banana bread
>turn off element and try to remove loaf pan from the element
>loaf pan had started adhere to the element, would not move without some force
>move loaf pan to safe location
>glass loaf pan shatters instantly

[Anonymous No.16756516]

>>16751973
I got a huge dollop of oil on my thumb (I know, using the rock without the gloves, but I was in a hurry) and it coated the entire head. Luckily the thumbnail was fine, but my thumb would just randomly crack open and bleed for the next week or so

[Anonymous No.16756661]

>Trying to recreate something I had at a fancy restaurant
>Espresso encrusted steak with a red wine sauce
>Find recipes online, do a really great job, everything smells wonderful
>Roast some potatoes on the side
>Plate up, plate in one hand
>Grab some garbage with the other hand
>Go to garbage can
>Throw out steak and taters
>Try not to cry

And no, they weren't thrown on top of something where it could have been salvaged.

[Anonymous No.16756683]

>be teen
>first time frying some bacon myself
>didn’t burn house down, doing good so far
>realize I don’t know what to do with the pan of grease
>vaguely remember pouring it down the drain is bad, so I’m panicking
>open the back door, toss it into the snowbank
The bacon was pretty good though.

[Anonymous No.16757117]

>>16754638
I made the same mistake first time I tried to make sloppy joes.

[Anonymous No.16757277]

>>16751972
>>>/r9k/

[Anonymous No.16757283]

>>16751972
Just call him a pot smoking faggot, virgin

[Anonymous No.16757289]

>>16743895
Yeah I did this multiple times. Its so fucking painful.

[Anonymous No.16757299]

>>16742554
>tryed

[Anonymous No.16757312]

>>16754365
>Made me lose faith in my religion
Nigga rly? Pussy makes you lose faith in God? The fuck is wrong with you? Dating bitches is poison, sleep around with a chick or hire a prostitute.

[Anonymous No.16757318]

>>16755794
Retard.

[Anonymous No.16757320]

>>16751955
What's it like being an american?

[Anonymous No.16757338]

>>16742416
>barefoot in the kitchen like a dumbass
>opening a can of beans
>leave the lid on like an even bigger dumbass
>spoon gets stuck in the beans
>try to get it out
>pull too hard
>somehow hit and launch the lid straight into my toe
Didn't reach bone but Jesus Fuck what an experience.

[Anonymous No.16757340]

>boiled some eggs for dinner
>only ate two, out the other two in the fridge
>take them out to have for breakfast next morning
>put them on a plate and put the plate in the microwave
>!
>eggs everywhere
Had to throw the microwave away.

[Anonymous No.16757392]

>>16754825
>seared cardboard
Honestly not the worst smell

[Anonymous No.16757439]

>>16757312
What would a nigger like you know about the holy sanctity of marriage?

[Anonymous No.16757514]

>>16757439
Cuck

[Anonymous No.16757572]

>>16742416
what is this supposed to be? a pie?

[Anonymous No.16757662]

>>16757514
Yes, and that's why I hate women. If I could I would kill them.

[Anonymous No.16757844]

Wanted to make chocolate chip cookies, but was out of some stuff so had to substitute 100% cocoa for the chocolate chips, oats for flour, corn syrup for granulated sugar, and a rice cooker instead of an oven.

[Anonymous No.16757954]

>>16744554
He did mention that it was not intended. He forgot to close the valve on the bottom of the fryer before adding the water.

[Anonymous No.16758739]

>>16742416
made cookies or somesuch on a pizza stone
> now all pizzas made on it have a sweet vanilla kinda taste added to them

[Anonymous No.16758755]

>>16742541
>>16750396
We got some real geniuses on this board.

[Anonymous No.16758769]

>>16750484
haha even better is the losers seething over it

[Anonymous No.16758778]

>>16742652
>Open up
>Get dumped
lol
every time

[Anonymous No.16758807]

>>16745238
damn this pussy lit now

[Anonymous No.16758829]

>>16756661
lmao, thanks for the story anon

[Anonymous No.16758880]

>>16754997
>not realized it put it foam/plastic pad thing side down

Are you scared of touching meat or something?

[Anonymous No.16758907]

>>16758778
literally. like in the literal sense of the word. Every. Time. What's with that? Took me too damn many lumps upside the head to realize what duplicity this world demands of you.

[Anonymous No.16758918]

>>16749011
Man. What a post (in the image, I mean).
Your post is good as well, it's true. But I'm just a sucker for The Cosmic Absurdity.
F, little friend. There but for the grace of God go I.

[Anonymous No.16758937]

>>16756683
you idiot
you save the grease for cooking, not to kill a patch of land

[Anonymous No.16759007]

>>16757338
>>somehow hit and launch the lid straight into my toe
Toe no, that sounds painful

[Anonymous No.16759014]

>>16757844
Did it work?

[Anonymous No.16759023]

>>16742652
Kek read your own story bro. She left because she realized she isn't good enough for you

[Anonymous No.16759037]

>>16742652
Serves you right, you trusted a wymin. Completely deserved, they're demons

[Anonymous No.16759043]

>>16759023
"After Mass" suggests that maybe this was triggered by going to Confession. If Catholics still do that these days.

[Anonymous No.16759058]

>cut my finger while sharpening deeply enough to spray blood on the ceiling and half my kitchen
>took a week of vaseline and gauze before the wound closed enough to use the finger again

>got concentrated pepper extract in my eye while trying to open the new bottle
>had to run my face under the faucet for 15-20 minutes, afraid I permanently blinded myself

[Anonymous No.16759097]

pretty sure this is just an old kitchen tall tale but when I was a line cook from 2013-2015 (heard it in '14 i think) it went something like this
>girl is working at restaurant
>she wears a metal band on her wrist
>she and another worker are cleaning the vents above the griddle/deep fryer
>she slips and her arm falls into the deep fryer
>the metal band on her wrist catches on something inside
>arm is stuck, getting deep fried
>nothing she can do but frantically scream

[Anonymous No.16759122]

>>16742416
working in one.

[Anonymous No.16759216]

>>16759058
*hides post*

[Anonymous No.16759308]

>>16750734
holy shit

[Anonymous No.16759373]

>>16759097
At a restaurant I used to work at they would stand on the rims of the fryers to take down the hood vents for cleaning. Normally they would do this after the fryers have been turned off and covered with sheet pans. One slow day they decide to clean early, and a guy stand up on the rims of the fryers, which were still on. Guy slipped and both his legs went into the fryers. His screams could be heard in the dining area. A couple guys were able to pick him out of the fryer, but his pants had melted to his legs or something, so they continued to burn. They threw water on his legs.
He can still walk but his legs certainly look different.

[Anonymous No.16759395]

>Put frying pan in the oven
>Remember to take it out with an oven mitt after 10 minutes
>Touch the handle with my bare hands 10 seconds later
Literally every time. The sight of the pan on the stove makes me think it's safe to touch.

[Anonymous No.16759403]

>>16758778
>>16758907
I absolutely hear ya bros
latest relationship has been going on for almost 4 years now and she has no idea I'm planning on [redacted]

[Anonymous No.16759418]

>>16759395
That's why you leave the towel/oven mitt on the handle after you take it out

[Anonymous No.16759421]

>>16759395
Did something similar with a cast iron pan fresh out of the oven. Not too fun.

[Anonymous No.16759524]

>>16759014
It was inedible.

[Anonymous No.16759634]

>>16751955
you are extremely retarded

[Anonymous No.16759641]

Used sugar instead of salt

[Anonymous No.16759696]

>>16744104
Gullible retard go dialate.

[Anonymous No.16759704]

>>16758918
No blacks no jews and no gays

[Anonymous No.16759783]

>>16759634
no u

[Anonymous No.16759867]

>>16742416
Threw burning oil into the sink and put cold water on it. Fell to the ground before the fireball and burning oil melted my face off

[Anonymous No.16759935]

>>16743722
Leavened bread is satanic anyway. You dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous No.16761505]

>>16759395
>Grate part of my thumb off while grating cheese
>Now wearing disposable glove to keep blood out of food
>Pull cast iron pan out oven with oven mitt, place on stove
>See blazing hot cast iron pan on the stove, know it is hot
>"oh but i'm already wearing a glove"
>Confidently pick up the cast iron with nothing but a thin latex glove

[Anonymous No.16761519]

>>16743358
Hehe taters lol

[Anonymous No.16761542]

>>16743449
that reminds me of the time i went home to visit my parents and noticed a bottled kombucha in the back of the cupboard. i asked my mom if i could drink it and she said sure, but it's been back there God knows how long. i said "i'm sure it's no big deal" and then when i started to open it, the cap blew off and coated the entire ceiling and sink area of the kitchen (and my face and eyes) with guava chia seed kombucha. now i always check the cap before i open a thing

[Anonymous No.16761546]

chopping chili peppers and then inadequately washing my hands before touching my eyes, nose or penis

[Anonymous No.16761550]

>>16745238
i did this in college, she wanted to go to the hospital and was trying to pour milk up her pussy, unsuccessfully

[Anonymous No.16761563]

>>16752209
oh god. as a former fry cook this made me make a dumb face. this one's the worst in the thread, and the boiling sugar one.

[Anonymous No.16761587]

>>16757572
i believe a pfpfpfphlan or maybe one of those floofy jap/korean angel food-type cakes

[Anonymous No.16761593]

Getting married

[Anonymous No.16761603]

>>16759097
reminds me of something that happened to a friend of mine.
>working at small mexican place owned by jerk boss
>closing time, she worked FOH but was expected to help close
>boss in a rush so they were doing things out of order
>boss tells her to dump out the oil from the fryer immediately after turning it off
>floor had just been mopped
>120 lb 5'4 girl trying to carry a heavy container of oil by herself
>slip backwards on wet floor
>gallons of burning oil cover her from neck to calves
>severe burns on over 50% of her body
>boss forbids staff from calling 911 for insurance/$$ reasons and makes another cook drive her a few blocks to the hospital while she is screaming, incoherent
that was probably 10 years ago, i see on facebook that she moved to alaska and is doing well now but i know she was severely, severely fucked up for at least a year or two, mentally and physically. i heard some of her friends waited for the drunk asshole restaurant owner outside of a bar and stomped him in the parking lot, i think that incident also helped inspire the creation of a restaurant workers' union in that city as well

[Anonymous No.16761612]

>>16761505
i have done both of those things at separate times but doing both one after another is impressive.

i fucked my thumb up cleaning a slicer once, pretty deep cut but not bad enough to need stitches, and then went home and got drunk. when my roommates and i were good and drunk we decided to cook some pasta and my friend decided to try and saute some veggies all fancy-like, pouring boiling oil all over the thumb i had just sliced open a few hours earlier. ah, college. i still have that scar

[Anonymous No.16761665]

>>16755978
Didn't you prick them beforehand?

[Anonymous No.16761671]

>>16756661
Was the garbage at least tasty though?

[Anonymous No.16761673]

>>16761593
Why'd you get married in the kitchen

[Anonymous No.16761716]

>Following a recipe i found online for something i can't remember
>got all the ingredients and spices ready
>recipe details "2tsp of salt"
>my illiterate ass decides to add an extra B to that step
>added 2 tablespoons of salt
and for some reason i never actually questioned when i was measuring the salt, only figured my mistake while tasting it.
i also burnt 2 pans and 1 kitchen cloth whilst making popcorn, rendering one of those pans unusable after that.
almost started a kitchen fire by deepfrying frozen shrimp

[Anonymous No.16761722]

I once put wet thyme sprigs into hot oil.

[Anonymous No.16761853]

>>16759007
I appreciate the pun.

[Anonymous No.16761872]

>>16742652
>but I told her lately I am not doing so great lately, and having you there to listen really makes me feel a lot better
Never do that with women overall. that's what your bros are for.
She's still a fucking bitch though and you're still a fucking King.

[Anonymous No.16761938]

>>16742631
That sucks

[Anonymous No.16761974]

>>16742652
You dodged a bullet anon. Say a rosary and pray for a wife

[Anonymous No.16762050]

>pan slips or falls after 30 minutes in a hot oven
>reflexively go to grab it unguarded
Many a time.

[Anonymous No.16762069]

>>16761603
>i heard some of her friends waited for the drunk asshole restaurant owner outside of a bar and stomped him in the parking lot
Incredibly based, fuck that guy

[Anonymous No.16762084]

>>16761612
>i fucked my thumb up cleaning a slicer once
I too fuck thumbs

[Anonymous No.16762085]

I was making dark treacle at midnight on an impulse
I think I reduced the water too much, because after I let it cool for an hour, the damn thing was almost rock solid like store bought maltose but waaaaay harder
As in, the wooden spoon(which I left in the pot) was stuck hard into the damn thing, and would stay there as you tip the pot upside down
Ended up adding water to melt the damn thing, which took forever, again so that I could bottle it, but I am never dealing with caramelisation shit at midnight again

[Anonymous No.16762087]

>>16761716
You should stay out of the kitchen anon, you're gonna die there one day

[Anonymous No.16762143]

>>16757320
Not him but pretty dam good thanks for asling

[Anonymous No.16762186]

>>16752889
I did this. Made me remember my grandma used empty coke cans. I don't drink soda but catch me without a beer in my hand

[Anonymous No.16762204]

>>16750456
I'm just learning how bad the alcoholism is on this board. Guess that's why I get along with you people more than other boards

[Anonymous No.16762309]

>>16745238
I did the same. Cut peppers and jalapenos but didn't wash good enough. Besr orgasm of my life but the pain after.

[Anonymous No.16762359]

>>16742652
Look at all these chuds seething that a woman decided to upgrade from a loser. No doubt these same people would be cheering him on if he were married and fucking teenagers on the side.

[Anonymous No.16762373]

I tried to crack an egg on the edge of a skillet and in a half asleep, half retarded haze managed to smash the shell against the side of the skillet and the entire egg plopped out onto the burner. was something straight out of one of those stupid infomercials. Taught me how much of a bitch an entire egg is to clean up

[Anonymous No.16762389]

>>16742416
Taking my head out of the gas oven.

[Anonymous No.16762395]

>>16742652
At least she had the respect to come clean and break it off once you revealed your feelings.

[Anonymous No.16762427]

>>16762087
While i was typing my post i realized that aswel, thankfully i never had a serious cut or injury, yet

[Anonymous No.16763196]

>>16742652
God, when I read stories like this, I'm glad to be a misogynistic, cock-socking bottom faggot
Sorry bro, hope the next cunt will be less cruel.

[Anonymous No.16763420]

>>16762359
>>>/r/eddit

[Anonymous No.16763424]

>>16750633
Satan pls

[Anonymous No.16763640]

>>16742416
Oh, there are many — both from home and work. Some of them are:
>Breaking a bunch of eggs for a cake batter, the very last one was rotten and I dropped it in the egg batch instead of down the sink. Had to throw away 80 of those, but at least I didn't mess it up in the butter.
>While cleaning a small oven, I broke its glass door; I dissassembled it, taking my time, and I was rinsing the degreaser off the door. When I was done, I lifted it from the lid instead of carrying whole, resting over my arms and body, and the thing came apart, with the glass part falling and breaking. They took six months at my job to get a replacement for it.
>Cut my hand while washing a bread knife. A diagonal, serrated cut on my palm that hurt like a bitch with the soap that got in it. Worst of all is that I couldn't take the medical leave because we were shorthanded at the bakery and I had to work with some gauze over it and covered with a disposable glove for two weeks.

[Anonymous No.16763773]

>>16746594
hahaha, that also happened to me.

[Anonymous No.16763795]

>>16742416
Just forgetting I have stuff cooking and over cooking it for a half hour at most, nothing bad has ever really happened.

>>16758907
>What's with that?
Women already have a pussy, they don't need another one.

[Anonymous No.16764082]

>me and my friend are cooking a big meal for our new flatmates
>we're westerners, they're chinese, so we want to set a good impression by cooking up some great western food
>it's finally done
>my friend calls them into the dining room
>they come in to find me desperately trying to clean up the twenty eggs I'd just slammed into the ground by accident

[Anonymous No.16764110]

letting my wife in there.

[Anonymous No.16764122]

>>16755325
I had the pizza cutter break and smashed my hand into the molten cheese and sauce before. not fun

[Anonymous No.16764138]

>>16742416
>be drunk
>microwaving chicken and bacon pasta bake
>set it down on counter
>fumble it
>spill it
>receive partial thickness burn on left thigh
>melts about 4 inches of skin off of my leg
>eat what was left
i was on antibiotics for weeks

[Anonymous No.16764152]

>>16761603
I had a friend that did the same thing but it had cooled down for maybe 5 minutes in the fryer. Mainly went on his legs so he pulled his pants off and sprayed his legs with water. The store owner gave him his khakis so he'd have something to wear home.

[Anonymous No.16764255]

>>16764082
>great western food
>a bowl of eggs
Going all in with the classics eh?

[Anonymous No.16764289]

>>16764255
Y-yes
(It was just a basic pancetta-y tomato pasta sauce n pasta with avocado on toast as a random side, fwiw)

[Anonymous No.16764315]

>>16762309
Same actually

[Anonymous No.16764318]

>>16751973
>Gets caught on something
>Lose grip, end up both palms down right on the still hot flattop

That shit sucked, I was like 15 too... My first real burn

[Anonymous No.16764326]

>>16759007

[Anonymous No.16764328]

>using those nice full copper pans for the first time
>know the handle gets hot, I'm so smart
>put heat glove on my right hand because I'm right handed
>so fucking smart
>grab the pan with the left hand

I realized my mistake pretty quickly though and didnt burn myself but I'm glad no one saw me

[Anonymous No.16764351]

>>16742652
>opening up to demonic spirits (women)
sorry bro but at least it was a learning experience

[Anonymous No.16764394]

Tried to microwave some wings when I was a kid, instead of taking the wings out and putting them on a plate, I put the cardboard box in which they came in in the microwave and lit the box on fire

[Anonymous No.16764448]

>>16753116
/thread

[Anonymous No.16764489]

>>16742416
a metallic pot with a handle in a microwave
shit arced like it was a fucking tesla coil. Biggest blue arc i've seen in my life
kitchen stunk of burnt metal for 2 days.

[Anonymous No.16764502]

>>16742416
>What was the dumbest mistake you made in the kitchen?
That would be penis pot pie

[Anonymous No.16764556]

>>16753116
I use it in dirty rice a lot

[Anonymous No.16764698]

>>16754997
I've come to expect those maxipads on the bottom now.

[Anonymous No.16764769]

>>16742416
Accidentally spilled like 10 or 20 times the cumin i wanted to add to a pot of curry and didnt immidiately fish it out, instead carrying on with the cooking, making the cury taste like shit and forcing me to dump the whole pot

[Anonymous No.16764770]

>first time cooking with pasta
>hear about aglio e olio and thought it sounded good
>only had penne so used that instead of spaghetti
>was told to use water to make sauce so my dumbass dumped a full cup of cold water into a pan full of blistering hot olive oil

Was covered in small oil burns for a week, the dish wasn't terrible though

[Anonymous No.16764784]

>be me
>making tacos
>fart

Whole kitchen smelled like shit. Lost my appetite.

[Anonymous No.16764825]

I was making a gumbo and it occurred to me that I’ve never tasted a dark roux just by itself so I coated the back of a spoon with it and tasted it. It tasted like burning.

[Anonymous No.16764851]

>>16742416
I've got a few of them.
First is something similar to this.
Making a cake and pulling it out if the pan and having it crack itself to shit all over my stovetop. Probably should have let it rest more in the pan before going at it, but I was worried that there was going to be too much carry over heat.

The next was trying to make NY Pizza for the first time and just making an absolute mess stretching out the dough.
I probably had way too high of hydration so all the flour I was using to make it not stick was just making this awful clumping in the dough and the entire thing was becoming a sticky mess.
Ended up throwing out one of the pizzas whole sale and just stuffing the rest of the dough into a pan to make a pan pizza.
I think that was the angriest I ever got in a kitchen.

Finally this one probably wasn't even my fault but it mortified me when it happened.
Making home grown tomato sauce and having the jar explode when I was adding it to the simmering water. No idea why that happened other than an imperfection or issue within the glass, but losing an entire quart of sauce for all the effort I put into it really hurt.

[Anonymous No.16764868]

>>16742560
I had that happen with pepper and meatballs.
And entire grinder full of pepper breaking into a mix of raw meat at once is not a fun time.

[Anonymous No.16764874]

>>16742416
>dumbest mistake you made in the kitchen?
Grabbed my friend's mom's ass when she was washing the dishes because I thought she was always flirting with me

[Anonymous No.16764883]

>>16743895
This is just a right of passage.

[Anonymous No.16764896]

>>16764883
>right of passage.
Rite*
Fucking nigger

[Anonymous No.16764903]

>>16764896
If I was smart enough to know that I wouldn't be posting here would I?

[Anonymous No.16764911]

>>16764903
Smart people can cook too ya know. It's just that not many do.

[Anonymous No.16764915]

>>16764911
Yeah, but they aren't posting about it here nerd.

[Anonymous No.16764916]

>>16764874
dude that is so embarrassing if true what are you autistic?

[Anonymous No.16764930]

>>16764915
We get it, you're retarded, you don't have to keep making your point.

[Anonymous No.16764931]

>>16756396
Goddamn dude.

[Anonymous No.16764940]

>>16748297
this is why you're single

[Anonymous No.16764943]

>>16756683
I used to dump pan fulls of grease and blackened seasoning from superhigh heat searings of chicken into the grass next to my door all the time.
Didn't really cause any issues.

[Anonymous No.16764956]

>>16759097
This sounds a lot like some safety PSA from the 90s or early 2000s.

[Anonymous No.16764964]

>>16759418
Did that once and the oven mitt actually melted somewhat to the pan handle.

[Anonymous No.16766265]

Not me but a housemate
>live in sharehouse with 3 other guys
>one is an african guy from sierra leone
>every day he eats this utterly rancid soup/stew that makes the house smell like farm animals
>likes cooking late at night
>likes to leave his food cooking on the stove and go back to his room
>constantly forgets about his food
>one night the fire alarm goes off at 2AM
>here "oh shit" from down the hall and the sound of sandals running into the kitchen
>next morning
>whole house reeks of burnt shit
>his soup was turned to charcoal
>had to keep doors and windows open for 3 days to fully remove the smell

[Anonymous No.16766270]

>>16746594
Been there

[Anonymous No.16766281]

>>16743358
good post

[Anonymous No.16766287]

Putting a pyrex baking dish straight out of the oven into cold water
Fucker shattered like all my hopes and dreams

That and left french fries deep frying to download mp3s off limewire only to come back to roaring flames

[Anonymous No.16766288]

>>16764874
She probably was. They like to see guys squirm when they don't expect the guy to do anything about it. Then you make a move and they're all shock and innocence.

[Anonymous No.16766289]

>>16743358
based story

[Anonymous No.16766291]

>>16759641
look at this fuckin idiot/jerk

[Anonymous No.16766308]

>>16752246
I guess he was trying to flip it
directly onto the coals
with no way to take it back off
when it was already cooked

[Anonymous No.16766415]

>>16757662
dont let your dreams be dreams anon
make him proud

[Anonymous No.16766424]

>>16761603
if it was some big chain restaraunt she would be set for life with the settlement money

[Anonymous No.16766457]

>>16744578
That's just Italian cooking.

[Anonymous No.16766502]

>>16766424
She could have been anyways if she had taken a lawyer after the guy. Restaurants are insured.

[Anonymous No.16766527]

>>16754315
They do, it's Home Ec but insecure faggots think it's just womanly shit rather than 'here's basic housekeeping, finance and first-aid skills'. It was my favorite elective because I could make breakfast at school for a whole year as it was by first class of the day.
>>16759097
I mean it's unlikely but it's the same reason mechanics/engineers moved onto silicon wedding bands, degloving is an unlikely event, but the possibility is there.
>>16766308
He was being a lazy fuck, he knew she needed to grab that grate at both ends.
You can see there is the primary grate still in place so it could have been a simple roll motion rather than a retard flip.

[Anonymous No.16766532]

Shaved half my fingernail off yesterday while cutting parsley.

[Anonymous No.16766548]

>>16766424
not if she is an illegal immigrant

[Anonymous No.16766723]

>>16742416
Leaving my stove on overnight

[Anonymous No.16766758]

>>16742439
Centripetal force isn't a thing. In the study of rotational kinematics, objects experience acceleration towards the rotational center. As long as rotation is maintained, the acceleration is basically canceled out as the object moves around the circle. There is force involved, but it isn't centripetal because that's not a thing. Also you're a faggot.

[Anonymous No.16766795]

>>16766758
I'm pretty sure the distinction is that centrifugal force doesn't exist (the cake isn't being held in place because its rotation is exerting a force outward against the sides of the pan), and that we're just misattributing centripetal force (the force from the acceleration you're describing of the pan trying to move towards its rotational center is pushing inwards towards the cake, which is what'd be holding it in place)

[Anonymous No.16766815]

>>16766758
>Centripetal force isn't a thing.
Based retard

[Anonymous No.16766820]

>>16742416
Dumb bitches on TikTok prove how terrible wives they make.

News at 11.

[Anonymous No.16766850]

The ol' pour a days worth of pho down the fucking sink