/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16577856]

How fucked are you?

[Anonymous No.16577862]

fucked beyond belief bud

[Anonymous No.16577863]

Christ I have hot dogs all the time, had 30 yesterday

[Anonymous No.16577867]

this is such bullsh-
>the top 10 countries for life expectancy near 1:1 match with the top 10 countries for nut consumption
fuck

[Anonymous No.16577870]

>>16577856
Can't I just put enough nuts on my hotdog to counteract each other

[Anonymous No.16577894]

>>16577856
BRB, building a hotdog time machine.

[Anonymous No.16577900]

>>16577856
Nuts every 26mins is the key to immortality

[Anonymous No.16577903]

>be one year old
>eat 14600 hot dogs
>die immediately

I believe it

[Anonymous No.16577909]

>>16577856
I only eat salmon hot dogs topped with nuts

[Anonymous No.16577918]

>>16577856
I'm not american, never had one.

[Anonymous No.16577921]

>>16577918
It's definitely worth 36 minutes of your life.

[Anonymous No.16577926]

>>16577856
Oh my god I fucking hate the news. I wish I grew up in a fucking cave and lived my life never knowing about mass media or the computer. Imagine how comfy.

[Anonymous No.16577928]

>>16577903
I think if a one-year-old ate 14.6k hot dogs they would in fact die

[Anonymous No.16577940]

>>16577926
How many years do you suppose a serving of cave lichen would add or subtract?

[Anonymous No.16577946]

>>16577928
Good, cull the weak from the genepool. If you can't eat near fifteen thousand hotdogs before you have your baby teeth, your genes have failed you and you shouldn't spread them

[Anonymous No.16577947]

>>16577903
no matter how old you are, if you force fourteen thousand hotdogs into your body simultaneously you will, in fact, die.

[Anonymous No.16577956]

>>16577903
>>16577946
>>16577947

14600 / 365 = 40 hot dogs every day for a year

[Anonymous No.16577957]

So if I eat on average a serving of nuts every 26 minutes I'll live forever?

[Anonymous No.16577958]

time to fill my fridge and freezer with hotdogs!

[Anonymous No.16577965]

>>16577956
>eating 40 hotdogs every day for a fucking year only reduces your lifespan by one year

Honestly way better than I expected. That's not even that bad.

[Anonymous No.16577973]

>nuts add 26 minutes and salmon 16 minutes
i'm functionally immortal now, the hotdogs don't matter.

[Anonymous No.16577987]

>>16577940
1 gram of cave lichen adds 1000000000000000 minutes and 1 step closer to true enlightenment

[Anonymous No.16578039]

>>16577856
I need to eat more hot dogs.

[Anonymous No.16578049]

Not at all because this is obviously garbage clickbait generated from poor quality science

[Anonymous No.16578087]

>>16577863
It's alright timmy. We're all broken up over Trevor. Dont be in such a rush to hang out again

[Anonymous No.16578199]

>>16577856
These "every x you eat will take y minutes off your life" studies are retarded. There are so many exogenous factors that couldn't possibly be sufficiently controlled.

A better story is "eating x will improve your longevity", not some dumb click bait conclusion like "eating an apple will add 12 minutes to your life"

[Anonymous No.16578230]

What didja tards think was gonna happen sticking phallic shaped foods in your mouth all the time? AIDS!

[Anonymous No.16578232]

>>16577856
I am in trouble because i love having a hotdog in my mouth. Just like the person who wrote this article.

[Anonymous No.16578346]

>>16577856

[Anonymous No.16578357]

>>16577856
>>16577867
Aren't nuts like super high in fat or something?

[Anonymous No.16578368]

>>16577856
I guess I'll learn to bake bread so I can make my own hotdogs.

[Anonymous No.16578375]

>>16578357
Yeah but it's not bad for you. I'd say this has more to do with processed food being bad for you. As long as you're eating unprocessed foods you'll probably do alright.

[Anonymous No.16578385]

>>16577956
So if I eat 5 hotdogs a day for 8 years I can die?
Egg hotdogs for breakfast
Beans hotdogs for dinner
And random for lunch

[Anonymous No.16578387]

>>16578385
Just don't eat salmon hotdogs.

[Anonymous No.16578414]

>experts have...
stopped reading

[Anonymous No.16578440]

>>16578357
https://nutritionfacts.org/topics/nuts/
But they are also packed with antioxidants and fiber. Basically studies have shown they are very satiating and regular consumption doesn't significantly add body weight (unless processed into butters) because people tend to compensate by cutting back meal portions/snacks subconsciously throughout the day to compensate the added calories (at least that's one theory). Walnuts cut scancer risk a lot and Brazil nuts lower blood cholesterol levels with one serving faster than statins and keep it lower for weeks. Considering CVD, stroke, and cancer are still leading mortality causes that's how you get calculations like in the OP by increasing or decreasing those controlling risk factors .

[Anonymous No.16578456]

>>16578440
Interesting. I currently just drink coffee (which is itself healthy) to curb cravings, but I might have to start eating more nuts.

[Anonymous No.16578465]

>>16577856
>eat 1 hot dog and 2 nuts
>life longer

What's the catch? oestrogens in the nuts?

[Anonymous No.16578472]

>>16577856
so fucked

[Anonymous No.16578479]

Time to travel back in time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98mxP-sZEbs

[Anonymous No.16578524]

If that was the case, I would have been dead a long, long time ago.

[Anonymous No.16578563]

>>16577856
These types of studies are Facebook. Everyone is looking for some secret to a long lifespan but 95% of it is genetics. All you can do is do cardio and try not to die from an accident. Nutrition is a meme as long as you eat in moderation and not like a gluttonous fat idiot.

[Anonymous No.16578565]

>>16577856
>Source: Ligma, B. et al 2021

[Anonymous No.16578588]

>>16578357
Fat is good for you

[Anonymous No.16578608]

>>16578563
Yeah dude, the literal building blocks of your entire physical being are just memes. Eat like absolute shit in moderation and you'll be fine dude haha totally you got it brother

[Anonymous No.16578633]

>>16578608
You're being sarcastic but it's true. As long as you do cardio it doesn't really matter if you eat "healthy" or "unhealthy" food. Obviously hurr durr you can't survive off drinking ketchup, but the difference between eating fast food every day versus lentils and salads is negligible.

[Anonymous No.16578647]

So exactly 14600 to knock off a year. I have 48 years left of average life expectancy, making a requirement of 700800 to die right now. Better get started.

[Anonymous No.16578651]

>>16577856
ohnonono hotdog bros we got too cocky...

[Anonymous No.16578655]

>>16578647
>48 years left
Damn, son - you are young.

[Anonymous No.16578894]

Best thread up rn tbqh

[Anonymous No.16578901]

>>16577856
I subside off canned fish, eggs, steamed broccoli, chicken, and Turkish yogurt.

[Anonymous No.16578908]

Do mortals really?

[Anonymous No.16578984]

>>16578908
fuck off lich

[Anonymous No.16579013]

>>16578440
>https://jewtritionfacts.org/

[Anonymous No.16579030]

>>16578357
>FAT IS... LE BAD!

[Anonymous No.16579060]

>>16577856
I remember the anti drug campaigns in high school always told us that every cigarette you smoked reduced your lifespan by 7 minutes. Are hot dogs really five times as bad for you as a cigarette?

[Anonymous No.16579075]

i love thinking through these sorts of things
i probably had my first hot dog around age 7 and probably had maybe 10 to 30 hot dogs per year between the ages of 7 and 18
so let's assume some averages and that gets me 20*11 = 220. Sounds slightly steep, so let's say 175.
i probably had a bit more than that from 18 to 23 when i was in undergrad and pre-grad school, so let's say 25 per year for those 5 years, so that's another 125.
i got healthier since then and have maybe averaged 15 dogs a year since 23. i just turned 30 so that's 7 * 15 = 105
so in sum, i'll estimate i've had 175 + 125 + 105 = 405. Round to 400 for simplicity. For the hell of it i'll slap a 95% credible type interval on it and say that's like 200 to 600 dogs.
so, if it's 36 minutes, i'd estimate that i've lost 400 * 36 = 14400 minutes [95% CrI: 7200, 21600]. Let's get that to hours at 240 [120, 360] and days at 10 [5, 15].
So, at worst I might have lost 15 days of life. Stretching my worst estimate even further, it's very unlikely i lost more than 20 days of life from barkers.
100% worth it, those 20 days would probably be shit any way.

[Anonymous No.16579138]

>>16579060
no t but hey were five different hot dogs lets be real here

[Anonymous No.16579163]

Chili dogs are last meal worthy

[Anonymous No.16579212]

>>16579060
>every cigarette you smoked reduced your lifespan by 7 minutes
I'm 99% certain that was supposed to be euphemistic for the amount of time you waste standing around smoking, since this was before everyone would spend their smoke breaks multitasking or doing stupid shit on their phone.

[Anonymous No.16579218]

good thing I invested in ligma

[Anonymous No.16579221]

>>16579218
Ligma Updogs

[Anonymous No.16579224]

>>16577856
First Trevor and now Timmy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaAF_GAc3Mk

[Anonymous No.16579225]

>>16579221
Who's Steve Wozniak?

[Anonymous No.16579232]

>>16577856
>Experts

[Anonymous No.16579268]

>>16577856
Time travel is NOW bros
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T96V1uoSgwc

[Anonymous No.16579288]

>eat one serving of nuts every 25 minutes
>effectively immortal

[Anonymous No.16579294]

>>16579288
THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!

[Anonymous No.16579452]

>>16579225
Mike Wazowski's brother-in-law.

[Anonymous No.16579456]

>>16577856
this is fucking nonsense

[Anonymous No.16579490]

>>16579456
it's science you fuck!

[Anonymous No.16579498]

>>16577870
Probably, roll hotdog in honey and then onto some chopped nuts.

[Anonymous No.16579507]

>>16577856
so every time you eat a hotdog just follow it with a nut and 5/8ths of a salmon it's that simple :)
you are now le immortal

[Anonymous No.16579528]

>>16579490
calling this garbage science is an insult to real science and you should feel bad

[Anonymous No.16579533]

>>16579507
but what if...listen, WHAT if we made salmon hot dogs in nut bread?

[Anonymous No.16579541]

Don't care, still gobbling dem' glizzies, no homo, we smokin' penis out here.

[Anonymous No.16579545]

>>16579528
shut up. this is real science done by real science people, and no, you can't see the studies or the scientists who did it. also remember doing your own scientific research is against the law

[Anonymous No.16579553]

>>16579545
ok good I was worried you were serious for a moment. faith in humanity restored

[Anonymous No.16579598]

>>16578375
Most nuts are processed food.

[Anonymous No.16579599]

>>16579545
Um, excuse me, but The Science is spelled with a capital S, as are the brave and stunning heroes known as The Scientists. Show some respect.

[Anonymous No.16579605]

>>16579598
water is a chemical

[Anonymous No.16579618]

>>16579288
this nigga eating nuts

[Anonymous No.16579665]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T96V1uoSgwc

[Anonymous No.16579692]

>>16577856
The act of engaging your metabolism in any way ages you. Starving yourself as much as possible without causing vitamin deficiencies is a proven way to live longer and engage certain epigenetic effects that increase the lifespan of your grandchildren.

[Anonymous No.16579845]

>>16577903
Actually it causes an overflow and makes you immortal.

[Anonymous No.16579865]

>>16578479
shoot, you're a naughty boy. i'd like to put you over my knee and spank you some.

[Anonymous No.16579966]

>>16579692
I'm not lying when I say this... the key is meal frequency ... like one meal a day with low protein to get your sirtuins going. You won't believe me on this but David Sinclair verifies it. Not that it really matters because they have the ability to rewind out age and are perfecting the gene delivery therapies at Harvard as we speak. All of us are going to pass 200 years old regardless of how we eat as long as we don't get sick or get in an accident. Now continue browsing and ignore this post that tells you we got the fountain of youth figured out.

[Anonymous No.16579970]

>>16577856
t.

[Anonymous No.16579974]

>>16577965
I love this stupid logic. God bless you. :)

[Anonymous No.16580008]

>>16577856
So for every hotdog I eat, I just have to eat some nuts and I’ll have regenerated my living time? That’s fucking e-z mode

[Anonymous No.16580102]

>>16579966
What about goyi-- I mean, young people blood transfusions? I thought that was already a youth treatment

[Anonymous No.16580105]

>>16578087
blessed anon

[Anonymous No.16580108]

>>16577856
So if I make hotdogs and add some nuts and salmon to the filler would that make a lifespan-neutral hotdog?

[Anonymous No.16580181]

>>16578199
It's more like a personality test. If you're the kinda person who would eat x many hotdogs, you're more likely the kind of person who would die of...

[Anonymous No.16580191]

>>16577956
Sounds like a reasonable amount for the average American.

[Anonymous No.16580201]

>>16577856
> almonds
> cashews
> dried cranberries
> fresh cherries
> fresh blueberries
Plus some fish and chicken in small portions today plus whey. Worked out hard today. I will remember you unhealthy anons.

[Anonymous No.16580209]

>>16577856
i went to costco today and the foodcout is back in action
i only eat one once a week or so, but i could save all those minutes if they still had the polish dog

[Anonymous No.16580246]

>>16580201
Noone cares retard.

[Anonymous No.16580257]

>>16580246
You did enough to reply, which means my superiority threatened your white bread Democrat diet.

[Anonymous No.16580260]

>>16580246
i do

[Anonymous No.16580278]

>experts
no serious expert in nutrition science would say something so retarded.
your diet and lifestyle as a whole is what ultimately matters, not how many of the supposedly "bad" or "good" foods you eat.

[Anonymous No.16580280]

>>16580257
Me telling you noone cares does not mean that I care, idiot. Fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.16580289]

>>16580280
Why are you caring this much?

[Anonymous No.16580314]

doing pretty good. 4 hotdogs a week, six or so walnuts/almonds a day

[Anonymous No.16580319]

>>16577900
I need a few hours between nuts

[Anonymous No.16580352]

I drink lots of vodka. That cleans out my system, and even cleans my teeth (I haven’t brushed in years, and haven’t had a cavity since).

I also eat a liverwurst sandwich pretty much every day – to counterbalance the effects the vodka has on my liver. I make my sandwiches on seeded rye (because it’s the healthiest bread), with mayo (because eggs are the best protein; I use kewpie, because the msg makes it taste better), coarse mustard (good for the white blood cells), zucchini pickles (because they taste good), and a bunch of baby spinach (just for filler; it could honestly be left out).

I also eat a lot of canned fish (mostly sardines, but also the occasional fancy smoked oysters) on saltines. They give you all your essential amino acids, and provide a nice opportunity to try out various hot sauces, which are generally very low in calories, while high in flavor and immensely prodigious to healthiness.

Aside from that, I drink large amounts of water (anywhere between ice-cold to slightly chilled) every day, always through a straw, and sometimes with a lemon wedge.

To each their own, I say, but I’m just shy of 30 and am doing better than most of you.

[Anonymous No.16580360]

So far I haven't been castrated by the chemicals in soy because I don't fucking eat like a vegan so I think I'll be alright.

[Anonymous No.16580379]

>nuts and salmon add minutes to your life
Where my fellow /immortal/s at?

[Anonymous No.16580401]

>>16578563
>>16578633
Back to /fit/ dumbass

[Anonymous No.16580422]

>>16577856
How many hot dogs would a 19 year old have to eat to die within a month?
Asking for a friend

[Anonymous No.16580479]

>>16577856
>This just in: Stupid bullshit study comes out to perpetuate more fear in people.
>This just in: Stupid bullshit study PROVEN WRONG. Hotdogs ADD 36 minutes to your life.

[Anonymous No.16580533]

>>16578440
>compensate by cutting back meal portions/snacks subconsciously throughout the day to compensate the added calories
thats a long-winded way to say it has a high satiety value

[Anonymous No.16580536]

>>16580319
thats how they get you

[Anonymous No.16580553]

>>16577856
>experts have assessed
Oh look another "study" made by a bunch of "experts" saying that some random food will kill you in the future. If you belive in those faggots you deserve to be called a retard

[Anonymous No.16580576]

>>16578357

if you still live in fear of fat, congrats, you've fallen for the psy op

I mean shitty fats like trans fats/partially hydrogenated bullshit I'm not a fan of, but saturated fats or other naturally occurring fats are good for you

[Anonymous No.16580577]

>>16577856
>nuts add 26 minutes
WHICH NUTS MUST I CONSUME
TELL ME

[Anonymous No.16580614]

>>16577856
IDK I EAT THE SUPERIOR ON THE GOOD FOOD FROM A FOOD CART

[Anonymous No.16580620]

>>16577856
bs study

[Anonymous No.16580973]

>>16579075
Autism speaks and no one listens.

[Anonymous No.16580980]

>>16577856
Tempted to have a couple right now, but i ate dinner a few hours ago.

[Anonymous No.16580987]

>>16579288
but what when you are asleep?

[Anonymous No.16581027]

>eat a hotdog
>eat 2 peanuts
heh nothing personnel mortals

[Anonymous No.16581036]

>>16580987
Peanut butter oil IV

[Anonymous No.16581058]

I wanna know what they said instant ramen does for life span per cup.

[Anonymous No.16581071]

>>16577856
Is this why headshots are so lethal? Because you can't administer emergency nuts and salmon?

[Anonymous No.16581074]

This is Big Nut propaganda

[Anonymous No.16581131]

>>16578563
Pretty much. I remember learning about the French paradox in university where they eat so much fatty foods and drink so much wine but are relatively very healthy. Also, there are those people with familial hyperlipedemia, you take a fasting blood sample and their serum is absolutely thick with fat. Unreal.

[Anonymous No.16581142]

According to my calculations I should already be dead

[Anonymous No.16581161]

>>16581074
name of my next porno

[Anonymous No.16581172]

>>16577957
Yes. Trust the science.

[Anonymous No.16581175]

>>16578479
Underrated.

[Anonymous No.16581208]

>>16581172
It really is a new religion. Feels good to be a Lutheran, our ideology is codified by God rather than pop psychology and Buzzfeed

[Anonymous No.16581215]

According to the study you can constantly eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to live forever

[Anonymous No.16581220]

According to the study you can constantly eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to live forever

[Anonymous No.16581234]

>>16581220
How is pizza -7.8 when cheese is only -1.4 and tomatoes are +3.8?

[Anonymous No.16581238]

>>16581234
Food-time maths aren't that simple.

[Anonymous No.16581243]

>>16581220
Interesting.
You only have to eat 960 fries a day to live forever.

[Anonymous No.16581263]

>>16581220
>French fries are good for you
What?

[Anonymous No.16581272]

>>16581263
It's published by the University of Michigan bro are you really gonna argue with them?

[Anonymous No.16581280]

>>16577856
it's true, I take 36 minutes to cook and eat a hot dog. I'll never get those 36 minutes back.

[Anonymous No.16581286]

>>16581272
Not really, it gives me the perfect excuse to eat fries with ketchup.

[Anonymous No.16581294]

>>16581286
If you fry them in peanut oil you might start regressing toward infancy.

[Anonymous No.16581307]

>>16581294
So that's why 5guys is so expensive, they are not selling fries, they are selling immortality.

[Anonymous No.16581898]

>>16577867
Your mom must be immortal by this point

[Anonymous No.16582018]

>>16581220
>eating peanuts mixed with sugar plus fruit-flavored sugar on wheat mixed with sugar is the healthiest thing you could possibly eat

[Anonymous No.16582393]

>>16582018
the Sugar Research Foundation agrees

[Anonymous No.16582445]

Every single food you eat shortens your life by however the fuck long it takes you to eat it.

[Anonymous No.16582458]

>>16582018
Maybe stop buying shit food that has 5lbs of added sugar. My peanut butter has 0 sugar and my bread has like half a gram per slice.

[Anonymous No.16582466]

>>16578479
>>16579865
STOP!
There's been a significant discovery at an archeological dig

[Anonymous No.16582478]

>>16582458
>stop buying shit food that has 5lbs of added sugar.
you've just eliminated ~90% of packaged foods in the supermarket

[Anonymous No.16582628]

>>16582458
>My peanut butter
>my bread
did they use "your" peanut butter and bread in their study?

[Anonymous No.16582645]

>>16582628
Yes.

[Anonymous No.16582663]

>>16582466
>cottoning to strange chinamen with no sense of self who stand secretly by for indeterminate amounts of time

[Anonymous No.16582855]

>>16577856
>eat a piece of salmon every 10 minutes
>live forever
The absolutely state of "science"

[Anonymous No.16583064]

>>16579553
Heckin faitherino in wholesome humanity restored, we did it reddit!

[Anonymous No.16583071]

>>16579966
>we got the fountain of youth figured out
>we
You didn’t figure shit out, faggot.

[Anonymous No.16583092]

>>16581161
Nah your next porno will be FAGGOT BUELLERS DAY ON A BUNCH OF GUYS COCKS

[Anonymous No.16583233]

>>16577856
>science says...

[Anonymous No.16583257]

This is one of the most disingenuous bullshit titles i've ever seen.

What the fuck is even the mindset? You ONLY eat hotdogs and how bad it impacts your health?

[Anonymous No.16583290]

>>16577856
if I'm to waste the rest of my days reading retarded shitbait articles reposted on this garbage website then maybe it's better if I died earlier.