/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16515477]

>Fucking love Shirley Temples
>Everyone and their mother makes fun of me for it

I really wish there was another name for this that I could order it under so everyone at the bar would stop making fun of me.

Like a “Red Fizz” or something

[Anonymous No.16515479]

>>16515477
just ask for a grenadine and ginger if you're that much of a pussy you care what others think about your choices

if you're a gigachad though you ask for that SHIRLEY TEMPLE and tell that bartender to double up on the cherries because you ain't driving

[Anonymous No.16515484]

>>16515479
I’ve tried that before but it always leads to confusion and when I try to explain further the bartender will ALWAYS loudly say “Oh, you mean a Shirley Temple?” and then everyone at the bartop will turn to look.

[Anonymous No.16515503]

Switch to drinking Roy Rogers. Most people won’t recognize the name and just assume it’s alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.16515508]

>>16515477
If you truly want to man up you still stop caring about what other people think.

[Anonymous No.16515511]

>>16515477
>I really wish there was another name for this
There is, just ask for a kiddie cocktail. Nobody will make fun of you for that

[Anonymous No.16515517]

>>16515511
Likes like going up and asking for a mocktail. It’s a category, not a specific drink.

[Anonymous No.16515520]

>>16515511
This. If OP wants an effeminate little baby drink he should be man enough to ask for that without being afraid.

[Anonymous No.16515527]

Why not make them at home where no one will make fun of you?
Adopt a persona to use in public: one which conforms to the expectations of adult men. Order a beer, or a rum and coke outside the house and put on a brave face as you grin and bear it. Made all the more brave by the secret knowledge that you have all the faggy drinks your loose gay ass can handle waiting at home beside your dress and pumps.

[Anonymous No.16515532]

>>16515527
>>16515520
>>16515517

You fags probably will drink a Bee’s Knees unironically

[Anonymous No.16515587]

>10 Drinks To Order When You Hate The Taste Of Alcohol
Vodka Sour
Vodka Cranberry
Rum and Coke
Whiteclaw
Vodka Soda with Lime
Mimosa
Screwdriver
Long Island Iced Tea

[Anonymous No.16515590]

>>16515503
Happy trails to you

[Anonymous No.16515591]

>>16515477
Just switch to Lemon Lime & Bitters

It's the bees tits, and very grown-up. You might even attract a mate.

[Anonymous No.16515594]

>>16515591
Get out of here, Aussie

[Anonymous No.16515598]

>>16515594
no

[Anonymous No.16515599]

>>16515594
G'day, cunt
*climbs into kangaroo and drives off to friendlier pastures*

[Anonymous No.16515829]

for me, it's the arnold palmer

[Anonymous No.16515835]

>>16515829
No one offers those at bars anymore, that's a brunch drink

[Anonymous No.16515859]

>>16515477
>WHAAAWHAAA, I WANT TO SEEM ADULT-LIKE AND SOPHISTICATED, BUT I'M TOO MUCH OF A LITTLE BITCH TO DRINK REAL ALCOHOL

Why the fuck are Americans like this? This stupid fucking trend among Americans is disgusting, where they're so weak-willed that they can't control themselves while drinking so they have to enforce an inhuman sobriety on themselves.. If you are not man enough to drink alcohol and control yourself, you are a little bitch and you will be called one.

Goddamn, in my country we would beat the fuck out of any """man""" who ordered such a bitch drink.

[Anonymous No.16515875]

>>16515859
You'd swarm him like the bugs you are, no doubt.

[Anonymous No.16515878]

>>16515859
Big boy needs his big boy drink. don't want to get socially embarrassed like women do!

[Anonymous No.16515881]

>>16515875
>>16515878
Women should not be allowed to use the internet, they clog it up with these kinds of nonsense posts

[Anonymous No.16515884]

>>16515881
Bbbbbbbbsssssssst, buzz off bug man.

[Anonymous No.16515902]

my friend's little brother tried to order a shirley temple once and he refused to let him, it was pretty funny

[Anonymous No.16515935]

>>16515527
audibly kek'd

[Anonymous No.16516286]

>>16515587
But why would you drink alcohol if you hate it?

[Anonymous No.16516289]

I mean, I hate the smell of weed, so I don't smoke it.
The effects can't be that great to offset that vile stank!

[Anonymous No.16517490]

>>16515902
Femanon here, can someone explain this to me? Why does one man care so much what another man drinks?

[Anonymous No.16517602]

>>16515503
>>16515477
What do you call these sort of tall, narrow glasses and how expensive are they?

[Anonymous No.16517655]

>>16517602
Apparently it's called a Zombie Glass.
>A zombie glass is a particular type of glassware commonly found in bars. Its original purpose was to hold a drink called the Zombie, though the glasses are now used for various other drinks as well due to its stylish appearance. Several characteristics differentiate a zombie glass from other types of glassware.

[Anonymous No.16517705]

>>16517655
Nope, a Zombie is much larger, those are actually Collins glasses

[Anonymous No.16517719]

>>16517705

[Anonymous No.16517727]

>>16515508
Thanks for the mommy advice, but we're talking about the real world here.

[Anonymous No.16517730]

Couldn't you just order a Dirty Shirley?

[Anonymous No.16517733]

>>16517730
Completely ruins the flavor profile. There’s not greater way to ruin a drink than to try to add alcohol to a mocktail

[Anonymous No.16517743]

>>16517733
Alright, then get jacked as shit and no one will make fun of you for ordering a childs drink.

[Anonymous No.16517795]

>>16517490
Brothers don’t let their brothers act like faggots in public. And ordering a Shirley Temple in public is one of the most faggy things you could do.

[Anonymous No.16517853]

>>16517730

A Long Island Ice Tea tastes just like tea, yet will fuck you up.

[Anonymous No.16517863]

>>16517853
>A Long Island Ice Tea tastes just like tea

What the fuck, no it doesn’t?

[Anonymous No.16517874]

>>16517853
Always believed this to be the purpose of a cocktail anyway. If you wanted to taste the booze, you'd just drink it straight.

[Anonymous No.16517891]

>>16517874
You do want to still taste the booze, but you want it to be a complimentary part of a larger whole, rather than the overpowering taste of a shot.

[Anonymous No.16517913]

>>16516289
>The effects can't be that great to offset that vile stank!
You think? Consider the following; people don't smoke it for the way it smells.

[Anonymous No.16517922]

>>16517863
>>A Long Island Ice Tea tastes just like tea
>What the fuck, no it doesn’t?

Then you or your local bartender is making it wrong.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_Island_iced_tea

[Anonymous No.16517952]

>>16517874
>>16517891
Cocktails were originally created to cover the flavor of terrible bootleg alcohol during prohibition.
In the years since, as alcohol has gotten palatable again, they've evolved to acknowledge their alcoholic parts as complimentary parts of a larger whole.

[Anonymous No.16517968]

>>16517952
You fucking retard, Jerry Thomas published the Bible on cocktails in the fucking 1860’s, get the fuck out of here with your stupid buzzfeed “Cocktails are from prohibition!” Bullshit

[Anonymous No.16518070]

>>16517968

True, cocktails/mixed drinks have been a thing for a long time but prior to Prohibition this was mostly an upper class thing while most working class types drank a shot & a beer but when Prohibition resulted in shitty booze, the practice of drinking cocktails spread to all economic classes.

[Anonymous No.16518080]

>>16515859
t. 15yo tough guy

[Anonymous No.16518088]

Best brand of grenadine?
For me its Roses

[Anonymous No.16518093]

>>16517602
It's a Tom Collins glass.

[Anonymous No.16518104]

>>16517853
There is literally no tea in it

[Anonymous No.16518109]

>>16518070
Also completely wrong.

[Anonymous No.16518117]

>>16518070
>WOW DUDE PIRATES USED TO PUT SUGAR AND LIMES IN THEIR RUM??? WHAT A BUNCH OF FAGS. I JUST DRINK PURE ETHANOL

[Anonymous No.16518131]

>>16515477
Red rocket.

[Anonymous No.16518147]

>>16517602
Highball or tom collins

[Anonymous No.16518176]

>>16515477
All you have to do when ordering something like this is say "no homo" after your order. "One Shirley Temple, please, no homo." That way they know that, despite your choice of drink, you are in fact not homosexual.

[Anonymous No.16518300]

>>16518109

Nonsense, pre-Prohibition Americans (working class types) drank straight whisky and beer and it was the huge consumption of whisky that drive the Prohibition busybodies, as dad would go to the bar after working all day in the factory and get completely fucked up doing shots of booze with his coworkers, then come home and beat the wife and kids.

The shitty Prohibition booze popularized cocktails among the working class.

[Anonymous No.16518305]

>>16518117

WTF is wrong with you, kid? I never implied and that enjoy an occasional cocktail (though I'm mostly a beer drinker).

[Anonymous No.16518313]

>>16518300
Completely wrong. The working class was drinking cocktails in the 1800's. The old fashioned was in fact a result of a spergout from cocktail boomers who wanted to return to the old-fashioned way of making cocktails before bartenders started making them into poofty drinks by adding curacao and maraschino etc. Cope and seethe historylet.

[Anonymous No.16519753]

>>16518147
A highball is shorter and wider

[Anonymous No.16520134]

>>16517922
I think you've been tricked by your bartender. He's probably making it more than half actual sweet tea, when in reality it should be more than half fucking liquor.

It should taste nothing like actual tea, retard.

[Anonymous No.16520178]

>>16518313

Is it true that during WW2 Americans had to stop posting on 4chan to due anti-Japanese sentiment, and that's when Reddit was invented as a patriotic alternative?

[Anonymous No.16520203]

>>16518305
>Actually admits to drinking cocktails
Do you drink out of that pussy little glass too, faggot?

[Anonymous No.16520233]

>>16515477
Just order what you want and stop caring what other people are think. So you want to live their life or your own? Drink your fizzy mocktail and be secure in the knowledge that you’re not as gay as the guy who comments on other people’s drink choices

[Anonymous No.16520268]

>>16515477
>getting filtered from doing drugs by the occasional glances of some nosy faggots at a bar
just quit while you're ahead and stop drinking

[Anonymous No.16520308]

>>16520268
you are very confused about multiple things

[Anonymous No.16520537]

>>16520134

And I think you're a teenager who has never been in a bar

>>16520203

I've never had it served in a martini glass, always a highball glass.

[Anonymous No.16520569]

>>16520537
long island is known to be the "all alcohol fuck me up for cheap" drink. are you seriously larping as a alcy without knowing the basic of the basic?

[Anonymous No.16520679]

I get that I'm autistic but holy fuck surely normal people like menus too right?
Why do so many bars not have available cocktails listed? And if they don't, is it fine to just order one and hope they can make it?

[Anonymous No.16520712]

do you wear pretty ribbons in your hair and kiss on the first date you fucking nancy

[Anonymous No.16521347]

>>16515479
this, if you're not ordering your favorite drink with pride and seven cherries you're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous No.16521355]

>>16520679
the idea is that you can see the alcohol that the bar has on display, and if they have the ingredients they should be able to make whatever you want if the bartender knows how to do their job.

[Anonymous No.16521369]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you can order a Shirley Temple without fear of being judged when in the company of just women. It's only when other men are around that things become an issue.

[Anonymous No.16521394]

>>16521369
Depends on who you're with. Anyone is capable of bantz.

[Anonymous No.16521855]

>>16521394
My wife once made vicious fun of a friend who ordered a Shirley Temple once. Of course, that friend was a gay man, so it made sense and it makes sense that OP would be a faggot too.

[Anonymous No.16521868]

>>16515477
Just order what ever the fuck you want and if anyone gives you shit for it say that you only drink things you like the flavor of. EZ.
I swear this is all in your head, nobody genuinely gives anyone shit for ordering a tasty drink.

[Anonymous No.16521936]

>>16515477
Get seltzer with a splash of cranberry juice and a lemon/lime wedge. Much better than the sugary garbage you people are shilling.

[Anonymous No.16522011]

>>16520268
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure a Shirley Temple doesn't actually have alcohol in it

[Anonymous No.16522106]

>>16522011
you are correct

[Anonymous No.16522117]

>>16515527
If you are a man You shouldn’t ever drink beer which includes hops, and 99% of beers do. It’s like shooting yourself in the foot! For women hops beer is not that big of a problem, because women want anyway to be more feminine and grow bigger breasts. But still hops beer has a sedative effect and it also grows belly tissue. So I would avoid it at all costs.Hops is best known for its use in beer. The majority of physicians and men overlook its potent chemicals and do not realize that beer itself can significantly alter the male androgen levels. German beer makers noticed long ago that the young women who picked hops in the fields commonly experienced early menstrual periods.Eventually, researchers discovered the reason – hops is perhaps one of the most powerfully estrogenic plants on Earth. Just 100 grams of hops (about 3.5 ounces) contains anywhere from thirty thousand to three hundred thousand IUs of estrogen, depending on the type of hops. Most of it is the very potent estrogen estradiol. Estradiol, as it is taken into the male body, causes a direct lowering of testosterone levels in the testes and an increase in SHBG levels, which then binds up even more free testosterone in the bloodstream. The estradiol in hops has also been found to directly interfere with the ability of the testes Leydig cells to produce testosterone. The presence of this highly estrogenic substance in beer is not an accident.Prior to the German Beer Purity Act of 1516, beer almost never contained hops. In fact, more than one hundred different plants were used in brewing beer for at least ten thousand years prior to the introduction of hops in the middle ages.For the last thousand years of that period, the most dominant form of “beer” was called gruit, which contained a mixture of yarrow, bog myrtle, and marsh rosemary.

[Anonymous No.16522119]

>>16515591
Mm love a lemon lime with a splash extra of bitters

[Anonymous No.16522122]

>>16515527

These herbs, especially in beer, are sexually and mentally stimulating. (It is rare to become sleepy when drinking un-hopped beers. The Catholic Church had a monopoly on the production of gruit, but competing merchants and the Protestants worked together to break their monopoly and force the removal of all sexually stimulating herbs from beer. The legislative arguments of the day all hinged on the issue of the stimulating effects of other herbs that were used in beer. A pilsner, for example, was originally a henbane beer (pilsen means “henbane”), which is an incredibly strong, psychoactive beer, used earlier in history by German berserkers before battle. The German Beer Purity Act was, in effect, the first drug control law ever enacted.There is a well known condition in England – Brewer’s Droop – that occurs from middle-aged brewers’ extensive handling of hops plants. The plant chemistries readily transmit through the men’s skin just as they did in the young women in the fields. Very few physicians have looked at any correlation between beer drinking and androgen levels or erectile dysfunction problems in their patients. (How many men on Viagra are heavy beer drinkers?) However, the physician Eugene Shippen in The Testosterone Syndrome comments that one of his patients undergoing pharmaceutical testosterone replacement therapy, showed no response to the testosterone until he reduced his beer intake to one or two beers a night from six to seven.

[Anonymous No.16522161]

>Go to bar with coworkers once a week
>Never was much of a drinker
>Try pretty much all their 'signature' drinks
>Settle on a frozen slushy of vodka, Sprite, and lemonade
>Comes in a highball with a lemon wedge and is usually blue, sometimes green for some reason
>Tart and refreshing, perfect for a humid Florida night
>Still get jokes that it should come with an umbrella
>Got harassed one night with some random coming up to ask me what I was drinking, kept asking if it was a smoothie
>He got in his car immediately afterwords and yelled, "GET A REAL DRINK" as he burned out in the parking lot

>Everyone that orders one to try it likes it

Just laugh it off, either they keep harassing you and are just a bunch of assholes who you shouldn't be friends with or they just laugh with you and drop it.

[Anonymous No.16522342]

>>16520569

Long Island Ice Tea will fuck you up because there is all kinda booze in it (and thus it ain’t cheep) but it doesn’t taste like booze and so you can drink half a dozen in no time, as it literally tastes like iced tea.

You’ll find this out for yourself when you turn 21 and can legally go to a bar, kid.

[Anonymous No.16522349]

>>16522122
>beserkers
and MY axe!

[Anonymous No.16522355]

>>16520679
>Why do so many bars not have available cocktails listed?

There are a bazillion kinda cocktails and the average bartender can't make most of them and/or the bar won't have the proper ingredients on hand (Joe's Corner Dive Bar probably doesn't have vermouth for martinis, as their kinda patrons don't drink them and the stuff goes bad after a couple of months once opened) but I do agree that bars ought to have a beer list on every table, as they usually only have a dozen or so and frequently change what's on tap.

[Anonymous No.16522409]

>>16515477
Ive never heard anyone make fun of anyone else for what they drink irl. Is this a city liberal thing? Taking all that nigger fatigue out on innocent people i guess since you guys are too afraid to deal with them yourself

[Anonymous No.16522418]

>>16515477
Or u can just not be a bitch.
I was drinking a tattinger 2008 and ordered a Shirley temple to poor my champs in

[Anonymous No.16522699]

>>16522342
>taste like tea

What the fuck kind of tea have you been drinking?

[Anonymous No.16522703]

>>16522409
huh?

[Anonymous No.16522707]

>>16522699
McDonald's

[Anonymous No.16522710]

>>16522707
Ah, it all makes sense now

[Anonymous No.16522722]

My go to at bars when I don’t want to drink alcohol but also don’t want to get made fun of for being a pussy is a “Cowboy, hold the Vodka”

Either the bartender gets the joke and brings me my glass of milk or they don’t and if they don’t, I make a show of rolling my eyes and saying “Ah, whatever, never mind, just bring me a coke, this place probably couldn’t do it right anyways” that way everyone near me knows I’m a real man.

[Anonymous No.16522738]

>>16522161
>buys a fruity drink
>WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING AT ME
You were a lonely child, huh? Never really got the proper socialization to understand how not to make a fool of yourself?

[Anonymous No.16522749]

Just order a beer and smash it over his head. Some fucker tried that shit at Disney with me once and I called him a cum guzzling faggot in front of his wife and kid. He got upset and tried to start shit but we were at Disney so he got kicked out pretty quickly. I just stayed and enjoyed my choccy milk.

[Anonymous No.16522759]

>>16522738
Yes, I was bottom of the food chain fat lonely faggot who got beat up and bullied all through high school, and have a lisp.

I started ordering Cosmopolitans after the smoothie guy, then drifted back to the blue slushy stuff and still have a good laugh with my coworkers on Friday nights. Your point?

[Anonymous No.16522837]

>>16522722
>uses canned lines to neg bar staff
Let no one call you a loser, man

[Anonymous No.16522856]

>>16522837
And the fuck are you drinking, faggot?

[Anonymous No.16522861]

>>16522722
this is the most embarrassing cringe shit i've read on this board today
i can't imagine caring if anybody around me knows i'm drinking alcohol or not
the only thing worse than that is shitting on some random wagie to try and boost your self-esteem

i'm calling you out because i really hope you change your shitty behavior

[Anonymous No.16522867]

>>16522856
>bwing me milk!
It's a bit late to act hard, homo.

[Anonymous No.16522870]

>>16522867
>>16522861
>You shouldn't care that much!
>Cares this much

Peter puffers, the lot

[Anonymous No.16522920]

This thead completely misunderstands the problem. It's not that a Shirley Temple doesn't have alcohol in it, it's because it's LITEARLLY A CHILDREN'S DRINK

Imagine a grown adult going to a sit-down resturant and ordering the chicken tenders off the LITERAL KID'S MENU

That's what OP is doing and that's why he deserves to be made fun of.

[Anonymous No.16522932]

>>16522870
I didn't say you shouldnt care. The only consistent sentiment in these posts is that you're a cringe fag, which I think is evidenced.

[Anonymous No.16522938]

>>16522920
My sister in law does that. She has the palate of a fucking child and it drives me nuts. She'll only eat breaded chicken, mac and cheese and bread. She'll ignore everything at thanksgiving and just eat all the rolls. I have to make double the rolls every year because of this picky bitch.
>go to nice italian restaurant, 30-50 dollars an entree
>I'm paying because it's my parent's 30th anniversary and I wanted to do something for them
>she orders tendies and complains that they aren't as good as KFC's
Furthermore she constantly bitches at my brother. God I hate her.

[Anonymous No.16522940]

>>16522722
B&RP

[Anonymous No.16523005]

Bitch I look the bartender in the eye as I order my Long Island Ice Teas.

[Anonymous No.16523043]

>>16522938
So say something, you’ll never have to see her again

[Anonymous No.16523190]

>>16523005
>White woman thinks she’s courageous for this

[Anonymous No.16523365]

>>16522940
C&BP

[Anonymous No.16523860]

>>16515479
>a grenadine and ginger
That will not get you a Shirley Temple

[Anonymous No.16523952]

>>16516289
I thank fuck my state legalized because I hate dude lmao smell but vaping and edibles are nice.

[Anonymous No.16523968]

>>16515477
Imagine if you drink shirley temple
And then we kissed...haha jk jk

[Anonymous No.16523973]

Homophobes get no drinks

[Anonymous No.16524003]

>>16515477
Make dead eye contact with the bartender and start singing and dancing animal crackers in my soup.

[Anonymous No.16524021]

>>16524003
Are they vegan?

[Anonymous No.16524053]

>>16515477
Stop caring what those losers think, you dummy.

>>16523973
That's a great comic.
It manages to offend absolutely everybody.

[Anonymous No.16524164]

Before Covid me and my friends actually overheard some fag ordering a Shirley Temple, so we waited until he went to the bathroom and held him down and jerked him off to teach him a lesson. He even came like the faggot he is, so we gave him post-orgasm torture as well so the lesson sticks.

[Anonymous No.16524187]

>>16524164
That joke only works if you make it clear that you and your friends are male, you dummy.

[Anonymous No.16524194]

>>16522117
Meds now

[Anonymous No.16524207]

>>16524194
you are trolling outside of /b/

[Anonymous No.16524217]

>>16524187
We aren't.

[Anonymous No.16524222]

>>16524217
What's the name of the bar where you hang out?

[Anonymous No.16524258]

>>16524222
San Francisco Armory

[Anonymous No.16524274]

>>16524258
So that's what that building is.

[Anonymous No.16524350]

>>16517490
Because there are a lot of insecure men out there who think ordering a perfectly good drink with a "girly" sounding name will make their dick fall off. It's pathetic really.

[Anonymous No.16524363]

>>16517490
Men judge other men on stupid shit like "girly drinks" just like women judge other women on stupid shit like shoes or whatever.
People in general are petty shits and should be avoided.

[Anonymous No.16524364]

>>16524350
Masculinity is a social construct created and enforced by men. Your attempt at fag enabling doesn't legitimize their girly drink orders, so please cut it out miss.

[Anonymous No.16524386]

>>16524364
>Masculinity is a social construct created and enforced by men.
Social constructs are gay as fuck. I can smell the unwashed cock on your breath from here homo.

[Anonymous No.16524392]

>>16524386
Oh no a mad girl is calling me gay online
No one cares

[Anonymous No.16524424]

>>16524364
>Masculinity is a social construct created and enforced by men. Your attempt at fag enabling doesn't legitimize their girly drink orders, so please cut it out miss.
>no one cares
Kill yourself. Even by troll standards you are incredibly retarded.

[Anonymous No.16524435]

>>16522117
>>16522122
Interesting, thank you

[Anonymous No.16524527]

>>16522938
>Eat only children's food
>Refuse to elaborate
>Enjoy yourself.

[Anonymous No.16524818]

They already can't drink tap water(flouride), bottled water(xenoestrogen), soy milk(soy), milk(sterilized). Let's keep expand the list till the only thing left to drink for them is our cum.

[Anonymous No.16524823]

>>16515477
You mean a cherry sprite?

[Anonymous No.16524825]

>>16515503
My dad ordered me roy rodgers constantly when I was a kid

[Anonymous No.16524949]

>>16524053
>everybody

I’m not at all offended by it

[Anonymous No.16525043]

>>16524823
Only white trash make Shirley Temples with fucking Sprite

[Anonymous No.16525138]

why does the bar have a soda machine if they're just going to make fun of me for ordering it, lousy cunts

[Anonymous No.16525316]

>>16515477
>rusty hymen

[Anonymous No.16525572]

>>16515477
Imagine being so insecure that you give a shit about what other people think of your order

[Anonymous No.16525596]

>>16515591
What kind of bitters? I've only got Peychaud's

[Anonymous No.16525620]

>caring what others think of you on trivialities
are you clean, wearing decent clothes and not a lardass? yes to all 3? then who gives a fuck what they think about what you drink?

[Anonymous No.16525636]

>>16515503
It's just slightly sweeter Cherry Coke, with the added benefit of a actual cherry to eat.
Most places I order one at don't even charge extra compared to a regular fountain drink.

[Anonymous No.16525660]

>>16525138
Most places won't make fun of you if you order "a Seltzer", "a Coke", "a Ginger Ale", "a Tonic", or something like that. Depending on how they are feeling, and on how busy they are, you may even get a garnish.

[Anonymous No.16525689]

>>16515477
OP, your only recourse is to order a virgin pina colada, or a diet coke w/lime. They don't scream non-alcoholic in appearance whatsoever. You actually do have to go to the bar to get the ginger ale, and that's also a safe bet no one will blink about. Tonic with lime. I love the tartness of the quinine. Ask them to add a garnish of lime or cherries to whatever normal thing you get, even cherries go nice in a normal Coke. OJ looks like screwdriver, and a grapefruit juice, or virgin bloody mary looks like you went to the bar to get a real drink.

Half of the problem of a Shirley Temple is that you're drinking your calories, hardly anyone does that outright unless it's going to add a buzz. Child association with it.

[Anonymous No.16525771]

>>16523860
yes it will
reply if you agree with me

[Anonymous No.16525976]

>>16515527
Cocktails are more alcoholic than your manly man man beers. But don't worry everyone claps when you go to the bathroom to piss your cheap man juice you paid 12 dollars for.

[Anonymous No.16525992]

>>16522738
This coming from the man who only needs to be 2 beers in to start sucking his friends cocks.

[Anonymous No.16526102]

>>16515587
I love DateRape top ten

[Anonymous No.16526136]

>>16524194
No, he's completely correct. Enjoy your man tits

[Anonymous No.16526187]

Does your drink have fruit in it?
Does your drink have a straw with it?
Does your drink contain any alcohol that isn't beer, Scotch, gin or vodka?
If any of these apply, you're drinking a poofter drink, and people are right to bully you for it.

[Anonymous No.16526250]

>>16526187
That depends on location. If you are in a tropical resort, fruity rum drinks are totally appropriate.

[Anonymous No.16526346]

>>16526250
>If you are in a tropical resort, fruity rum drinks are totally appropriate.

No they're not, you're just making an excuse for your poofter drinks.
The correct drink on that occasion would be a nice cool lager or pilsner. Unless you're a poofter or a woman, that is.

[Anonymous No.16526373]

>>16525043
That would be store brand ginger ale mixed with store brand cherry soda and it sounds delicious

[Anonymous No.16526667]

>>16526187
>Does your drink contain any alcohol that isn't beer, Scotch, gin or vodka?
Holy shit I can smell the insecurity from the US. Why would you choose to tie your masculinity to the food you eat of all fucking things lmao

[Anonymous No.16526865]

>>16525976
poof

[Anonymous No.16526917]

>>16515587
whiteclaws are disgusting

[Anonymous No.16526935]

>>16520178
No, Reddit was invented by the KGB to feminize the youth of America.

[Anonymous No.16526943]

>>16526667
Most people do that, anon. Leave your basement. You can complain about masculinity all that you want but the fellers at the bar are still going to bully you.

[Anonymous No.16526944]

Why doesnt snapple or another company make a bottled Shirley Temple?

[Anonymous No.16526949]

>>16526667

[Anonymous No.16526959]

>>16526944
Shirley Temple took some people to court over the rights already.

[Anonymous No.16526969]

>>16526959
Really? then why dont they bottle it and make it? Seems like a big market?

[Anonymous No.16527007]

>>16517705
what's the difference between a collins glass and a kolsch glass

[Anonymous No.16527048]

>>16522938
>enjoys her own food
>makes normies seethe
Lmao sounds based to me

[Anonymous No.16527073]

>>16515477
if people are actually making fun of you in a bar, either they're your 'friends' and you need better friends or it's a bar full of shitty people and you need a different bar

[Anonymous No.16527075]

>>16522938
>She'll only eat breaded chicken, mac and cheese and bread. She'll ignore everything at thanksgiving and just eat all the rolls
She sounds like my picky nephew lol.

[Anonymous No.16527083]

>>16526969
unironically it's because she doesn't like the drink, people just kept serving it to her because it's named after her.

[Anonymous No.16527102]

>>16515477
>everyone at the bar makes fun of me
Yes, that actually happens.
I know anytime I’m out at a bar, I pay close attention to what random people are ordering so qI can laugh and be all like “lol that faggot just ordered a faggot drink!”
And then I lead the bar in a chant of “Baby gonna cry? Baby gonna cry?” until that person runs out of the bar crying.
And then the bartender posts it on YouTube so the rest of the world can laugh at him too.

[Anonymous No.16527141]

>>16527007
Kolsch glass is very thin and light other than that little difference.

[Anonymous No.16527151]

>>16520308
well fuck me I thought they had gin in them or something

[Anonymous No.16527172]

>>16527151
it's literally named after a famous child actress.

[Anonymous No.16527184]

>>16527172
So? America is a nation of pedophiles.

[Anonymous No.16527191]

>>16526187
I drink gin and tonics because I don't like the taste of alcohol, am I in stealth mode? Am I getting away with it?

[Anonymous No.16527247]

>>16526187
>straw
I don't like ice touching my lip

[Anonymous No.16527258]

>>16527184
>AOC 18
People here freak out about an 18 yo dating a 17 yo and call them pedos

[Anonymous No.16527259]

>>16527184
unlike eastern yurup, children don't drink

[Anonymous No.16527266]

>>16527258
>People here
Only people who think AOC is based on California porn laws.
It’s 17 and even 16 in a lot of states.

[Anonymous No.16527531]

>>16526943
>Most people do that, anon.
I'm aware of this but this cunt >>16526949 takes it to a whole new level. It's quite clear he's either in the closet, has micropenis, or has severe autism and doesn't realize how cartoonishly over the top he is. Also, i know how to handle his type, idgaf what I order at the bar because I know my dick won't fly off if I order a tequila sunrise.

[Anonymous No.16527572]

>>16516289
Your generation and your parents smoked cigarettes and cigars, faggot. Tobacco stinks worse than weed, and the effects are far less enjoyable.

[Anonymous No.16527577]

Do chain places serve these like b dubz and applebees?

[Anonymous No.16527581]

>>16517730
What is this? What alcohol does one add to a Shirley Temple?
I’d add rum to a Roy Rogers. Some spiced runs have a little cherry in them already and go great with cola.

[Anonymous No.16527860]

>>16527073
This guy gets it. If you got guys shitting on you for what you enjoy, you probably aren't gonna make many friends there anyway.

[Anonymous No.16527893]

>>16523973
New Meg Mog and Owl? Hell yeah where from?

[Anonymous No.16527908]

Why do you guys keep bumping this thread?

It's fucking decided, only faggots order Shirley Temples, stop posting in this thread.

[Anonymous No.16527910]

>>16515477
Hahaha faggot. Fred Phelps is going to rise from the grave and put your doomed sodomite fag ass in a concentration camp.

[Anonymous No.16527949]

>>16527893
I'm reasonably sure that one is collected in the book Seeds and Stems.

[Anonymous No.16528019]

>>16525771
>10 hours
>just one reply and it's this one and it's to mock you
Ha ha

[Anonymous No.16528023]

>>16528019
Why do you agree with him?

[Anonymous No.16528076]

>>16528023
Mm yeah I guess so lol.

[Anonymous No.16528119]

>>16515479
Based

[Anonymous No.16528123]

>>16517853
It most certainly does not.

[Anonymous No.16528129]

>>16518176

[Anonymous No.16528149]

>>16520679
Most bars that are not ~known~ for their cocktails, are unlikely to have well-experienced bartenders, (most bartenders under the age of low thirties tend to belong in this group) and, as such, have a limited repertoire of cocktails. However, if you onow you like a few drinks, remember how to make them, explain it to your bartender (their mixing skills should still be on par), and, as long as they have the ingredients, they'll happily charge you for a drink. Just add an extra buck of tip, and enjoy.

TL;DR: Just because bartenders might be inexperienced, does not mean they can't understand instructions and mix well.

[Anonymous No.16528158]

>>16522342
They taste nothing like tea.
They LOOK like tea.
The LI iced teas taste like tangy cola and, yes, you most definitely can taste the alchohol, although it is still refreshing. The terms are not mutually exclusive. Neither liqeur takes over, unless some fuckface eyeballs the measurements and gets it wrong, but it definitely does not taste like tea, just as much as a 1:1:1/2 of moonshine, cola and limejuice taste like tea. Jebus.

[Anonymous No.16528164]

>>16528149
>tip them extra :)
So while subsidizing their ineptitude you should go even further and subsidize their wage. Right.

Drink at home unless you're a helpless booze hound.

[Anonymous No.16528166]

>>16522870

[Anonymous No.16528171]

>>16523973
It's hard for brainlets.to understand at what distance the author's perspective is at.

[Anonymous No.16528178]

>>16528164
Inexperience is not ineptitude, but you keep roleplaying some 19th century patrón/james bond character with impeccable and infinite knowledge of all consumables, and leave reality for actual human beings.

[Anonymous No.16528182]

>>16515859
Alcoholic hands typed this post

[Anonymous No.16528190]

>>16528178
So you allege... but regardless why tip them more when you have to wait longer and doing half their job for them?

You don't happen to be a poor bar tender by any chance?

[Anonymous No.16528275]

>>16528149
Any bar that's been opened for more than a year that hires new bartenders is going to have mix cards, posters, or some sort of cheat sheets handy. Or just look it up on their phone.

[Anonymous No.16528426]

>>16527893
Seeds and Stems where Simon collected all his rare zines to fuck collectors

[Anonymous No.16528439]

>>16528182
Where do you think we are?

[Anonymous No.16528445]

>>16527258
>>16527266
It's 12 if you marry them first.

[Anonymous No.16528450]

>>16526187
>poofter
I have literally never seen this word before and I will start using it in place of faggot on 4channel

[Anonymous No.16528495]

>>16528450
It's aussie slang

[Anonymous No.16528607]

>>16520134
obvious drinklet confirmed

[Anonymous No.16529265]

>>16522920
tendies with a shirely temple sounds delicious.

[Anonymous No.16529490]

>>16523973
Obviously not at the gay bars.

[Anonymous No.16529492]

>>16522938
>go to restaurant with senpai for parents anniversary
>my brother says he will pay for everything
>See food I like on the menu and its cheap too, so I dont feel like a burden
>Brother starts getting pissed at me
God I hate his bipolar ass

[Anonymous No.16529513]

>>16515477
SAY.
IT.

[Anonymous No.16529674]

>>16515859
Real men drink Indonesian toilet water like Budweiser

[Anonymous No.16530486]

>>16529674
This but unironically. I do judge people by what they drink.

[Anonymous No.16530545]

>>16528495
English origin, actually. You will find the word poof used in Monty Python, for instance.

[Anonymous No.16530757]

>>16529492
Kek

[Anonymous No.16530811]

>>16522920
>>16529265
Yeah, y'know what? I'll take an order of tendies, some julienne fries and a Roy Rogers with gravy on the side. Them's good eatin'

[Anonymous No.16530826]

>>16515503
>>16530811
Why are there two pictures of the exact same fucking glass?

[Anonymous No.16530830]

>>16530826
'cause it's the picture on it's wikipedia article.

[Anonymous No.16530839]

>>16530830
Y’all nigga for real use Wikipedia?

[Anonymous No.16530841]

>>16525689
>Half of the problem of a Shirley Temple is that you're drinking your calories
Ethanol is somewhere between pure sugar and pure fat in terms of calories per gram. If you're at a bar, you're drinking your calories.

[Anonymous No.16530845]

>>16530839
I do, but that's because I'm not a fucking reprobate who can't type english properly, Jamal.

[Anonymous No.16530852]

>>16530845
Lmao, whatever helps you sleep at night with that dildo up your ass, nigga

[Anonymous No.16530855]

>>16530852
Don't make me come over there and break you, buck.

[Anonymous No.16530865]

If I say I want a ginger ale, will I get the soda, or an alcoholic drink? How do I specify which I want?

[Anonymous No.16530876]

>>16530865
ginger ale is by definition non-alcoholic. Ginger beer is the one that's between ~0-3%

[Anonymous No.16530878]

>>16530855
Nigga, I’d rape your grandma in front of you and you ain’t do a goddamn thing

[Anonymous No.16530883]

>>16530878
Of course you'd try; I doubt you could think of anything else to do with your life besides rape, but believe me even my grandma could kick your ass.

[Anonymous No.16530896]

>One Bare Knuckle Boxer please

[Anonymous No.16530898]

>>16530865
East of the Mississippi Ginger Ale will have alcohol, you have to ask for Ginger Pop

[Anonymous No.16531463]

>>16530898
No that's ginger beer (sometimes), ginger ale is almost always non-alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.16531506]

>>16531463
East of the Mississippi, “Ginger Ale” is an alcoholic drink you can’t serve to kids.

What you’re talking about is Ginger Pop, which has no alcohol.

[Anonymous No.16531558]

>>16531506
Bitch I live east of the Mississippi, and at least in the north they sell non-alcoholic Ginger Ale all over while meanwhile I've never heard of Ginger Pop. Maybe that's where you come from but then that's not the entire "East of the Mississippi".

[Anonymous No.16531728]

>>16531558
>I'm a poorfag who doesn't actual go to bars worth a shit

lmao, okay. Doesn't change the fact that for civilized people east of the Mississsippi, "Ginger Ale" has alcohol

[Anonymous No.16531785]

>>16531728
A new modifier has entered the arena!

[Anonymous No.16531798]

>>16531785
>Yes, I'm trash and I'm proud!

[Anonymous No.16531920]

>>16531558
>obvious Yuropoor lying about living in NY

Why do they do this?

[Anonymous No.16532066]

>>16515532
i-i drink these all the time anon
i always have honey on hand so whenever i have extra lemon juice it goes into that or a whisky sour

[Anonymous No.16532094]

>>16530898
>>16531506
ginger ale doesn't have alcohol you little cunt, and fuck you for calling soft drinks "pop" you sound like a damn fairy

[Anonymous No.16532108]

>>16515587
>Long Island Iced Tea
lmao not a chance. That's liquor cut with liquor

[Anonymous No.16532176]

>>16515477
Don't give a flying fuck about what others think.
Also try other cocktails, who knows, maybe you will find something else you like if you still have problems.
When I go to a bar I usually try something new if I can, because who knows
The only cocktail I will never order is the Ramos Gin Fizz and only because I have pity of the bartender

[Anonymous No.16532181]

>>16532108
yeah but it taste fine

[Anonymous No.16532497]

>>16531798
>>16531920
Samefag retard kiddie troll. Go become an hero.

[Anonymous No.16532500]

>>16528158
Lmao you've never actually had a good one then. A real LI iced tea should taste like tea and lemon, if it does your bartender knows jack shit.

t. Long Islander.

[Anonymous No.16532683]

Aye oh I'm from Bellport thah sowth show. A regular lung guy lander hahah. I took thah fairie to fie err eyesland ahm covered in ticks! Bahtenda hold the lemon on that lung guyland, I've already got enough Lymes!!

[Anonymous No.16532700]

>>16531506
>>16531558
Well I live less than 40 miles from the headwaters of the Mississippi and around here it's ginger ale and ginger beer

[Anonymous No.16532761]

>>16532500
Maybe you don't know what tea tastes like. Getting tea flavor from those ingredients is absurd. Getting significant flavor from the garnish is also unrealistic.

[Anonymous No.16532767]

The humble Zombie is my favorite.
I drink like 4 of them, a couple shots, a few white russians and maybe a couple beers somewhere else and I'm good for the night.

Wake up feeling like shit thoug

[Anonymous No.16532827]

>>16532683
Cry more faggot
>>16532761
>It doesnt work in my mind, so there's no possible way it could work irl

>Getting significant flavor from the garnish is also unrealistic.
>Blue Moon? Corona? Never heard of them.

[Anonymous No.16532833]

>>16532683
>I've already got enough Lymes!!
Actually missed that part, kek

[Anonymous No.16532839]

>>16532827
Prove that you know how tea tastes. I'm already convinced you don't, so it's going to take a lot of proof.

[Anonymous No.16532922]

>>16515477
Just get /fit/. Nobody will make fun of you if you look like you're not an easy target

[Anonymous No.16533032]

>>16530486
I do too but only with cheap shitty big brand beers like Heineken or Bud. Get that shit outta here

[Anonymous No.16533056]

>>16525976
Cocktails are fine as long as they're done well and are either well balanced or booze forward in flavour profile. If you're just covering up the taste of the alcohol then why not just stick to 7-Up and Vodka?

[Anonymous No.16533065]

>>16532922
That's not true. You've never been strong. Even little bitches want to pick a fight the biggest guy in the room. There's a weird impulse that makes weaker people want to see how they'll hold up even if they'll obviously lose.

[Anonymous No.16533234]

>>16532767

Oh yeah, the "Humble Zombie", so humble it's your entire day's worth of calories in one fucking cup

[Anonymous No.16533868]

>>16532839
>Prove that you know how tea tastes.
M8e I've probably drank more tea than you. I'll take pictures when i get home just to prove how much of an unrelenting faggot you are.

[Anonymous No.16534319]

>>16515477
Shirley Temples are great, but you would never catch me ordering one in public. You can't want to be a man and also want to do bitch things in public, that's just how it is.

[Anonymous No.16534350]

>>16532922
>just lift weights in a non-retarded regimen for several months/years on end while maintaining a high calorie, high protein diet and getting plenty of sleep, consistently, in an attempt to make strangers less judgmental
that's just crazy enough to work

[Anonymous No.16534361]

>>16534350
nothing wagered nothing gained, shirley

[Anonymous No.16534387]

>>16530865
Thanks for reminding me Royal Jamaican is basically gone. No idea what happened to it. Not around here or the next state over. Was the only ginger beer with an actual ginger bite to it, like biting straight into ginger, while having a decent amount of alcohol in it.

[Anonymous No.16534509]

>>16526187
Tiki drinks fit all the categories and yet were invented in the 1930s and popularised in the 40s and 50s due to military servicemen enjoying them.

[Anonymous No.16534663]

>>16534509
>Welfare Queens
>Huge fags

Wow, who could've guessed that!

[Anonymous No.16534670]

>>16534663
This was the 1940s and 50s, most of these men were drafted.

[Anonymous No.16534684]

>>16534670
shhh, the pinko peacenik is crying. just enjoy it

[Anonymous No.16534901]

>>16518176
Oh brilliant. So now when I order my Baja Buttsex I don't have to embarass myself

[Anonymous No.16534923]

>>16523365
Cock and ball pleasuring

[Anonymous No.16534938]

>>16530811
>Yes, I'm sitting at the kid's table during a three-year-old's birthday party
> Stop talking
> I'm eat tendies and drinking Roy Rogers, you are distracting me

[Anonymous No.16534955]

>>16530545
Can I say "silly poofpoof" to really exacerbate the insult?

[Anonymous No.16535005]

>>16534955
only if you do it while walking silly

[Anonymous No.16535026]

>>16522920
Why do Americans hate chicken tenders so much?

[Anonymous No.16535030]

>>16534901
It was funnier in your head

[Anonymous No.16535037]

>>16535026
I don’t hate them, but grown adults should not be eating them. That’s almost as bad as wearing diapers past infancy

[Anonymous No.16535060]

Just add in Wild Turkey 101 and you’ve got a decent sweet drink

[Anonymous No.16535525]

>>16517853
You have no idea what you're talking about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xloS9kycPA

[Anonymous No.16535534]

>>16535525
>how to drink

[Anonymous No.16535535]

>>16535534
>1606505705710

[Anonymous No.16535542]

>>16535525
>9 minutes

[Anonymous No.16535628]

>>16530830
>served - rocks or without

Wow, thank god for Wikipedia hitting us with the esoteric knowledge

[Anonymous No.16536679]

>>16527531

[Anonymous No.16536725]

>>16535534
HtD is unironically the best alcohol related channel on YouTube

[Anonymous No.16536741]

>>16535037
This is 4chan. You can just say you're a racist. :-)

[Anonymous No.16537013]

>>16522722
kek
you're a real jerk
great post

[Anonymous No.16537021]

If an adult male ever ordered a Shirley Temple in my presence I would immediately and irrevocably lose any semblance of respect I may have once had for that man. I would cheat him on deals, try to flirt with his women, refuse to seek or take his advice, and actively demean any of his interests or hobbies.

I'm being 100% honest with you. Ordering a Shirley Temple is like a dog laying on its back and showing its belly.

[Anonymous No.16537025]

>>16526250
fruity rum drinks can only ironically be consumed in tropical areas, everyone still recognizes they're gay
fag enabler

[Anonymous No.16537049]

>>16537021
>actively demean any of his interests or hobbies
What if he has same hobbies as you ?
Didn't think of that one faggot.

[Anonymous No.16537062]

>>16537021
If an adult male ever posted on /ck/ in my presence I would immediately and irrevocably lose any semblance of respect I may have once had for that man. I would cheat him on deals, try to flirt with his women, refuse to seek or take his advice, and actively demean any of his interests or hobbies.

I'm being 100% honest with you. Posting on /ck/ is like a dog laying on its back and showing its belly.

[Anonymous No.16537082]

>>16537062
one mad fag

[Anonymous No.16537091]

>>16537082
it's true, if I met any of you incels irl I'd order a cowboy, hold the vodka and then sip it while I shit down your throat.

[Anonymous No.16537132]

>>16537091

[Anonymous No.16537135]

>>16537091
>o-one c-ccowb-boy
That's when the fag bashing starts I'm afraid

[Anonymous No.16537439]

>>16537021
When is the last time anyone ever drank an alcoholic beverage in your presence?

[Anonymous No.16537482]

>>16537439
Before covid. Hard to chug with a mask on know what I'm saying?

[Anonymous No.16537499]

>>16515587
>10 Drinks
>lists 8

what did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.16537774]

>>16537439
Like two days ago? What do you mean? Shirley Temples aren't alcoholic beverages.

[Anonymous No.16537914]

>>16520203
>bases his machismo on his consumption habits
We all know who the real faggot in here is.

[Anonymous No.16537951]

>>16522861
>shitting on some random wagie
It's a sport, champ. If you don't like it, get a different job.

[Anonymous No.16538642]

>>16537013
Thanks, I try my hardest to make other people’s lives worse

[Anonymous No.16538668]

I just drink Rum mixed with Pineapple and Orange juice

[Anonymous No.16538671]

>>16538668
Rum is a fucking alcohol, retard

[Anonymous No.16538680]

I never understood why fruity drinks are looked down upon. Why WOULDN'T you want your drink to taste good?

[Anonymous No.16538693]

>>16538680
It's thinking that's what tastes good that betrays your childish femininity.

[Anonymous No.16538701]

>>16538680
You're supposed to tank the harsh alcohol taste and comment on the smokiness or how smooth it is.

[Anonymous No.16538715]

>>16538680
forcing myself to swallow paint stripper was a requisite rite in my path to manhood and god damn it, people skipping out on that and going right for the fruit juice just makes me feel like such a sucker.

[Anonymous No.16538777]

>>16515859
Fuck you little bitch. I drink neat bourbon or basic lagers but if someone wants a shirley temple or appletini that’s their choice

[Anonymous No.16538790]

>>16538680
I actually feel quite sick if I drink something too sweet. I can’t drink rum and coke, whiskey and coke, or any other super sweet mix because I hate drinking too much sugar. Maybe it’s because I dont drink pop at all. If I drink hard liquor I just drink it straight

[Anonymous No.16539236]

>>16538790
You don't actually feel these things, you just pretend to because fictional characters you admire share those traits.

[Anonymous No.16539275]

>>16538777
People are allowed to be effeminate, a non. It's a free country. There's also freedom of speech to keep it in check.

[Anonymous No.16539286]

>>16515859
>hurrr you need to drink paint thinner else your balls will shrink
Maybe stop being such a stereotypical piss drinking retard lmao

[Anonymous No.16540294]

>>16539236
>You don't actually feel these things
Ok fatass not everyone likes sugary stuff as much as you do
> just pretend to because fictional characters you admire share those traits.
What the fuck are you even talking abouy

[Anonymous No.16540316]

>>16515859
>REEEEE MEN IN MY COUNTRY WOULD BEAT UP MEN LIKE YOU

Men in my country bomb the shit out of men like you.

[Anonymous No.16540326]

>>16515477
I drink anything. And if I order a girly drink and someone says something I just reply that I drink anything.

Alcoholics respect alcoholisseurs.

[Anonymous No.16540983]

>>16540316
Admiring evil does not make it good