/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16478952]

What can I prepare for a date to make her do this?

[Anonymous No.16478954]

>>16478952
4 lines of blow and a bottle of XO

[Anonymous No.16478960]

>>16478952
Her bull

[Anonymous No.16478963]

>>16478952
Anal prepping is important, start slowly and gently to gradually extend the anus further and further until finally you just cram an entire pork shoulder up there

[Anonymous No.16478966]

>>16478952
Anything pasta-related. Sushi works too

[Anonymous No.16478970]

From personal experience with my wife, either of these two things:
A good rare steak. Just do that thing with the butter, garlic, rosemary and mushrooms where you spoon the butter over the steak to keep it soft as sin (I forget what's the technique is called) and bake some asparagus with lemongrass & pepper, and some of those little mini potatoes. I do a thing where I bake the potatoes 3/4 of the way with butter and this particular steak seasoning we keep around, smush them down with a fork to make little patty shapes, then bake them the rest of the way. Don't season your steaks or at least just use a little salt & pepper if you really have to. The garlic, rosemary & butter are more than enough. Just let the steaks rest for at least a few minutes before you serve them, you want the fluids to settle.
Or, get you some nice salmon fillets, stick them in a baking pan, and add use a lot of the same flavors as what I mentioned previously. Lemongrass, rosemary & garlic. Lightly juice your lemons before cutting them into slices and laying them over the fish (scales side down of course) because you'll be covering the pan with foil or a lit or whatever. You want to keep all that moisture in. Prepare some wild rice, the purple kind, my wife likes to do it in the rice cooker since she's a dirty asian shitmonkey, and tends to add seasoning to the rice, I never pay attention to what she tosses in. Sometimes, I prepare a coarse mustard sauce for the fish, sometimes I prepare a maple/soy sauce. Depends on the mood.
If you're looking to get laid from cooking, be sure to allow her to watch, but ONLY if you absolutely know what you're doing. It's the air of practiced confidence that's key there.
Good luck OP, I hope you get to remodel her guts.

[Anonymous No.16478973]

>>16478952
You mean really spicy food? Make her ramen and add hot oil to it.

[Anonymous No.16478974]

Ketamine

[Anonymous No.16479001]

If she's a basic-ass retard bitch, you could always just make her some sort of cheesy pasta. Any slut with half a brain cell will devour that shit like a nigger does mud.

[Anonymous No.16479012]

to make her drool and pant? Very spicy food hahaha

[Anonymous No.16479022]

>>16479001
>If

[Puppetonastring No.16479024]

>>16478952
Chicken sausage dumplings with sweet things like those onions and carrots mixed in. Steamed

[Anonymous No.16479036]

>>16478970
What's your mustard sauce recipe?

[Anonymous No.16479044]

>>16478970
You mean basting


Also IDC what you make but don't make carbonara ffs

[Anonymous No.16479065]

>>16478970
Basedanon

[Anonymous No.16479076]

>>16479001
>cheese ever
only if like when a girl farts in your face when you're diving in her pussy

[Anonymous No.16479079]

>>16479044
>You mean basting
That's the bitch, thanks. I've always preferred grilling my steaks before it dawned on me I could baste them in a pan like that. Never looked back.
>>16479036
I don't really measure anything that much, I just eyeball it. I don't have a go-to mustard brand I use, I just get whatever looks the darkest and most coarse from whatever store I happen to be at at the time. It's pretty damn simple, I just toss in some butter into a sauce pot, brown some onions & garlic, add in a fuck ton of mustard, a bit of apple cider vinegar, some dill and add cream & water, about one part to every 1/4 part respectively. Let it simmer for a bit so you get a nice almost gravy-like consistency. It'll have a very pleasant creamy mustard yellow color to it to compliment the dish.

[Anonymous No.16479085]

>>16478952
15 years of being locked in a basement and repeatably raped

[Anonymous No.16479101]

>>16479085
A tried and true method, stockholm syndrome is a hell of a drug. Just watch the poughkeepsie tapes for a decent enough example, all you have to do is chain her up, dress in funny costumes and stick needles in her neck, then she'll be begging for you.

[Anonymous No.16479190]

>>16478952
That kind of girl? Pizza

[Anonymous No.16479214]

>>16478970
>bake some asparagus
but then her piss is gonna taste nasty

[Anonymous No.16479365]

>>16479214
Smart man, but are you sure it tastes disgusting I mean I know about the smell but have you ever tasted it?

[Anonymous No.16479387]

>>16478952

A lobotomy

If you actually want to impress a girl with cooking and you don't know what you're doing, most pastas are pretty easy, or a simple baked salmon and veggies.

Obviously figure out what she likes first but most girls are easily impressed with basic shit as long as you present it decently

[Anonymous No.16479393]

>>16478952
Carbonara, maybe with Tortelini (doesn't have to be self-made). All young women I know subsist off of sweets and pasta, so she'll go crazy over this

[Anonymous No.16479409]

>>16479365
I figure smell and taste are basically the same sense, but I guess there's only one way to find out for sure.

[Anonymous No.16479413]

>>16479076
>Not enjoying a fine aged cheese brap while eating vagu

Fucking faggot ass beta

[Anonymous No.16479418]

>>16478952
Tom Yum Gai

[Anonymous No.16479420]

>>16478966
chicken schnitzel with cheese pasta.

[Anonymous No.16479495]

>>16478963
how do you not get any poop on your peepee?

[Anonymous No.16479498]

>>16479413
What's the best cheese for this?

[Anonymous No.16479529]

>>16478952
>wojak

[Anonymous No.16479546]

>>16479495
she has to prep as well. Not a one way street. haha get it..

[Anonymous No.16479551]

FYI you fags are replying to a notorious spammer. That or other people have adopted his shit and are spreading it on other boards because children think repetition is the height of comedy.

[Anonymous No.16479600]

>>16479551
who cares, now I just want to design a pasta dish to make my date as stinky as possible
>lots of garlic for garlic breath
>eggs and cheese for braps
>asparagus for nasty peepee
>maybe something spicy to make her sweat
any input?

[Anonymous No.16479609]

>>16479365
I ate my gf out after she pissed once
Was just as sour but smelled like pee

[Anonymous No.16479613]

>>16479546
like what, blowing a garden hose up her ass?

[Anonymous No.16479693]

>>16478952
Literally anything if you can make it look aesthetically pleasing.
Little bit of colour, nice plating, women eat that shit up literally and figuratively.
Now I only really have experience with college women, but if you can make something they can take a picture of and send to their friends you're in 100%.

[Anonymous No.16479697]

>>16478970
>she's a dirty asian shitmonkey
I want what you have basteanon

[Anonymous No.16479699]

>>16479609
Did she eat asparagus?

[Anonymous No.16479714]

When I was first with my now ex-fiance, I did Kenji's cherry tomato sauce. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zS5Wj7ZfIY

I also added some sauteed shrimp and if she doesn't like seafood? Sub for sauteed chicken strips.
It's quick, easy and you can make it fun and casual since it's an easier dish, but is tasty as fuck and looks good. Top with plenty of parm, majority of women I've ever met fucking love cheese. Use rigatoni or penne if you don't wanna be slurping. But maybe you do.

[Anonymous No.16479731]

>>16478952
Be a man. If you want her to do that, tell her to do it. If she refuses, teach her a lesson. She won't respect you unless you dominate.

[Anonymous No.16479736]

>>16478952

[Anonymous No.16479767]

>>16478970
Wise words that will largely be wasted on a board where I'm confident half of the people here haven't been on a date in years.

To jump in where married-anon left off you should also have a good bottle of wine. Women like the sweet fruity shit anyway so I wouldn't waste too much money on something quality.