/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16191021]

Restaurant pet peeves
>gives you one napkin for a dozen wings

[Anonymous No.16191046]

>>16191021
go away

[Anonymous No.16191061]

>mexican restaurant gives me just a fork for utensils
fuck you

[Anonymous No.16191069]

>waitress refills water
>doesn't let ice fall into cup

[Anonymous No.16191070]

>>16191021
Libshit waiter has a fit when a man orders for his wife, rudely talks over the man, "what do YOU want?" like a couple isn't capable of discussing the menu before the waiter showed up

[Anonymous No.16191109]

>>16191046
>Eating pizza with a fork and knife is for people with Lou Gehrig's

[Anonymous No.16191114]

>>16191061
dont know why you would eat a taco with a fork but whatever

[Anonymous No.16191117]

>>16191070
People stopped doing this because you can't marry someone with a learning disability, anon.

[Anonymous No.16191129]

>>16191070
did this actually happen to you?

[Anonymous No.16191141]

>>16191114
I eat your moms taco with my tongue

[Anonymous No.16191149]

>>16191117
>>16191129
I was raised right. She can speak but she doesn't need to. This actually happened. Fag waiter probably thought he was defeating the patriarchy.

[Anonymous No.16191377]

>>16191149
you seem like you have some hangups

[Anonymous No.16191387]

>>16191149
doesn't this liberal faggot realize that there are adults who can't order for themselves? Please tell me you didn't tip

[Anonymous No.16191456]

>>16191387
It would have been hilarious if she was mute or deaf just because of how embarrassing it would have been for the waiter who assUMED she was being oppressed. No tip for being an idiot. Didn't go back to that place, either.
>>16191377
So, do you, like, take your wife to a restaurant and then look at menus in complete silence, not discussing what looks good to each of you, just so that she can order to the waiter and be empowered by it? We have normal couple behavior.

[Anonymous No.16191500]

>>16191021
>cashier asks if i have a mask
>i say no
>she denies me service
>i wait outside until i see which car she drives
>i come back the next day
>i key her car with the forbidden word

[Anonymous No.16191637]

>>16191069
Why the fuck would you want ice anyway? It would just water down the water and it's cold to begin with so unless you're drinking the same water like three hours later it'll still be cold. Fuck ice dude.

[Anonymous No.16191641]

>>16191021
>excited to try out this obscure exotic cuisine place
>walk in and there's already other white people there

[Anonymous No.16191647]

>>16191641
That's how you know it's a good place

[Anonymous No.16191662]

>>16191500
Nice larp. Your creative writing classes are really paying off.
>>16191637
The *ce machine is ALWAYS dirty. They're impossible to clean. I'd never want filthy fucking *ce contaminating my clean crisp water.

[Anonymous No.16191669]

>>16191637
Look at this amateur not drinking ice cold water to put the body into overdrive burning up extra calories bringing it to body temperature.
Can you even eat a 5 pound cheeseburger?

[Anonymous No.16191682]

>>16191662
i should really start taking pictures of everything I do...

[Anonymous No.16191698]

>>16191669
The water is already cold, why do you want ice in it to water it down?

[Anonymous No.16191701]

>>16191021
If you're walking to the bathroom and the waiters don't give you right of way.

[Anonymous No.16191704]

>>16191662
N

[Anonymous No.16191708]

>>16191704
I

[Anonymous No.16191710]

>>16191698
It's a pro eater move. The colder the water the more you can eat>>16191682

[Anonymous No.16191727]

>>16191701
If I'm walking into the bathroom and the server doesn't follow me in offering to suck me off

[Anonymous No.16191730]

>>16191641
>try hole in the wall japanese place that's a little cheap, nothing special just curious
>young guy behind counter looks rather asian, speaks with a little asian accent
>black youth sitting in one of three booths
>order small miso and steak and shrimp hibachi
>asian guy says my order to the cook in spanish, who I now notice is there and mexican
>asian guy sits with black guy who is his friend, asian guy starts talking like typical wanna be hard white teenager, zero accent
>food was just okay at best

[Anonymous No.16191740]

>>16191682
What's the forbidden word?

[Anonymous No.16191744]

>>16191740

[Anonymous No.16191747]

>>16191500
Did you wear a mask while committing petty crime?

[Anonymous No.16191756]

>>16191744
any time I see the word "fun" I immediately think "F you, nigger"

[Anonymous No.16191762]

>>16191747
no, i just used my shirt to cover my face, just like i did when i walked into the store and apologized for not having a mask

[Anonymous No.16191789]

>>16191762
You voted Biden while wearing that makeshift mask, libshit?

[Anonymous No.16191820]

>>16191789
>voting
kek

[Anonymous No.16191869]

>>16191141
You always do this.

[Anonymous No.16191895]

>>16191704
>>16191708

[Anonymous No.16192268]

>>16191046
>blotting the extra oil
That's fine
>uses a fork and knife
Okay...
>shoves the pizza and both utensils into his mouth
Now you've crossed the line bucko

[Anonymous No.16192597]

>>16191637
>It would just water down the water

[Anonymous No.16192636]

When the waitress is trying real fucking hard to get a tip. When the waiter adds an extra 0 to the tip line. That's about it.

[Anonymous No.16192647]

>>16191021
>Waitress leans over when setting plates on the table so I pretty much have to look at her tits.

I'm not there for tits you minor whore. I'm there for a meal. If you think that your fat sack display is going to impress me, and garner you a larger tip, you will be sorely disappointed.

[Anonymous No.16192793]

>>16192647
She is lactating and was only offering you a squeeze for your coffee

[Anonymous No.16192826]

>>16191021
>Walk in
>hostess with big booba and tiny black dress makes small talk with you while walking you to the table
>waitress with big booba and tiny black dress comes to take your order
>"enjoy your meal"
>"y-you too!"

[Anonymous No.16192913]

>>16191377
Who hurt you chud

[Anonymous No.16192943]

>>16192647
It works on guys like me, sorry you have to suffer.

[Anonymous No.16192957]

>>16191456
You're not going to have a wife much longer. I hope you don't realize you're a faggot until after, so you can feel the full pain of divorce.

[Anonymous No.16192968]

“Knock it off already.” Cassie had the remote control firmly entrenched in her hand and was doing her best to keep it out of reach. The TV was stuck on basketball, which sucked. I knew that there had to be some combination of leverage and brute force that would cause my sister’s fingers to open and let me gain command of the remote. Getting up and walking to the TV was simply out of the question.

“Knock what off?,” I replied, making another grab. Cassie just rolled her eyes and pushed me away. Time for a desperation move. I stuck my thumb in my mouth just long enough to let it collect a good amount of spit, then, distracting her with another lunge for the remote, I slid my thumb past her defenses and rubbed it over her left ear.

“Ewww! Fucking gross!” Her grip loosened just enough for me to pry the device from her hand. My victory was sweet, but it was also short.
“Okay, Knob. You asked for it.” She grabbed me by the wrist and deftly twisted it behind my back, using her three-year age lead and height advantage to throw me down on the couch. She pinned me on my stomach and quickly moved into a sitting position on my shoulders, resting her full weight down on me to keep me from escaping. It was pretty much over. I knew what was coming next, and with one final effort I raised my free hand and succeeded in changing the channel before she could wrestle the remote away. Yes! No matter what happened now, she could never take that away from me.

I closed my eyes as I heard her unzip her pants. My embarrassment was unreal as she began whacking me on the back of the head with a blunt, meaty object.
As a boy, it’s not easy growing up with a sister who has a bigger penis than you do.

[Anonymous No.16193003]

My family isn’t exactly normal. Cassie’s dad was killed in car crash when she was only a year old. Mom got married again and had me, but my dad ran off with a car show model when I was seven, leaving my mom to take care of us by herself. We’ve been though some rough times, but I think we’re closer because of it. And also weirder.

My sister Cassie is…well, different. When Cassie was born she was what they call ‘intersexed,’ which is the name for what happens when your parts are mixed up between being male and female. They decided to operate and make her into a boy, but as she got older it started to be obvious that she wasn’t supposed to be one. Now at sixteen you couldn’t guess that she was anything other than a slighty tomboyish teenage girl. She looked like a girl, dressed like a girl, and even smelled like a girl. She pretty muchwasa girl in every way except for what she had between her legs. A lot of people seem to think that’s the only place that counts, but living with Cassie has taught me that its what’s in your head that really matters.

It was a little strange growing up with her, but I pretty much got used to the fact that she had a ‘thingy’ like I did. The strangeness increased when she hit puberty and started growing boobs, something that the doctors said was unusual since she hadn’t been taking hormones. They gave her some to try out and her boobs got even bigger. Her hips got wider too and she started getting taller. I was still pretty small for my age and it soon became clear that she could beat me up pretty easily. Not that she ever really did, but anytime we had a wrestling match she would win pretty easily. We usually got along well, but as we both got older things started to get…complicated.

[Anonymous No.16193005]

>>16191021
>owner takes your order
>don't write it down
>bring you wrong food

>kerbab technician acts like he's your friend, pretends your regular order is something else as a joke
>actually makes the wrong item, has to remake your order