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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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16145164 No.16145164 [Reply] [Original]

how do i prevent the door dash driver from knowing my 2 big mac and 3 large fry plus 20 mcnuggets are all just for me and not a whole family?

if i write something in the delivery instructions like "this burger is for X, this burger is for Y, and this burger is for F." would that be enough to trick them? they always snicker at me after handing me the food and seeing that im alone. i want to dash at them and slam the door on their faces. it doesnt matter if i tip extra they always giggle at me. if it happens again im going to fight them.

>> No.16145167

The moment you open the door he will know

>> No.16145174

>>16145167
Would it help if i waited on the porch with the door closed and bought some extra cars to park in my driveway to trick them and make them think im having a party? i can play party noises from my bluetooth speaker for extra effect

>> No.16145175

Stop being a fatass and start cooking something more satisfying and filling so you don’t have to eat enough fast food for a family of 4. You’re attempting to fill a gaping whole in your life and soul with food and you know it isn’t working and making you more empty even.

>> No.16145176

Just order another drink. I used to have an autistic fat fuck I delivered to pull that trick. Too bad it was obvious as fuck he lived alone.

>> No.16145181

>>16145164
Pro tip: they don’t care

>> No.16145197

>>16145181
Oh we do care trust me. Back when I worked at Pizza Hut we had a “hall of fame” of sorts. Drivers took pictures of fat customers when they weren’t looking and we all laughed at them.

>> No.16145201

>>16145197
Based

>> No.16145206

>>16145197
No shit? We did the same thing at my papa johns. But we also always made sure to mess up their orders just to ruin their day a little

>> No.16145220

>>16145175
youre right but its my biggest dopamine source i dont know what else to do

i cant believe i let myself get to 200 lbs

>> No.16145266

>>16145176
thats a good idea, thank you anon! but i still think it would be obvious when they hear and see how empty my house and life is

>> No.16145279
File: 56 KB, 489x508, 1620716048632.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16145279

>>16145164
I don't know how it works in america but here in Brazil I registered an ubereats on the name of a girl and when I order I go pick up the stuff and say "is it for Jessica?" and they give me the order with no problems probably assuming im her boyfriend

>> No.16145288

>>16145279
Dangerously autistic

>> No.16145320

>>16145164
WTF do you think the door dash driver cares ?

>> No.16145328

>>16145164
just make them leave it at your door

>> No.16145335

>>16145164
>lemme gauge the room
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcbj8BBsWSA

>> No.16145341

>>16145164
Easy solution. Tip them more.

>> No.16145353

>>16145174
yeah this is probably your best bet. make sure the cars look cool and play the coolest music you can find and I'm sure the delivery driver will be impressed. maybe if it's a girl you can invite her inside after her shift ;)

>> No.16145475

>>16145279
Holy based

>> No.16145479

>>16145320
Everybody has war stories about jobs they've done. For food delivery, it's descriptions of the degenerates they've delivered to and what was ordered.

>> No.16145484

>>16145197
Lol what a larp. No one does that. They don't care. All they want is your money and the tip.
Source: Career Delivery Driver

>> No.16145487

>>16145279
Lmao this guy's a savant holy kek

>> No.16145495

>>16145279
Fucking hell, this is the answer.

>> No.16145497

>>16145484
It's like you have never worked any job ever. The income lets you survive, but the memories are what you live on.

>> No.16145508

>>16145164
>don't look like a fat fuck
>exercise regularly
>order 2 pizzas, chicken nuggets, chips, coleslaw for me
>don't get "the look" by the delivery guy
>look like the kind of guy that would burn all that food in 24hrs
>always go hiking next day

>> No.16145509

>>16145497
I'm not saying you don't talk shit about customers but you don't take pics of them. At least, none of the shops i've worked at have. I think thats taking things a bit too far.

>> No.16145510

Driver here. If i catch a fat fuck like yourself ordering a meal for 4 people and eating it by yourself i will drag you out of your apartment unit and run you over

>> No.16145524

>>16145197
If not larp you are a complete piece of shit

>> No.16145562

>>16145510
see i fucking knew i wasnt being paranoid

why do you have to bully me? just let me live my life man.

>> No.16145571

>>16145320
We do care. I record the fatties when they do the "leave at door" option from my car. It's always funny seeing them peak out to check if anyone will see them picking up their daily extra large pizza plus desert.

>> No.16145577

>>16145328
i thought about that but then there's this anon>>16145571 and im pretty sure ive seen cars watching me whenever i do open the door to pick up my food. are they posting me on youtube? why are they rcording me???

>> No.16145606

>>16145577
>why are they rcording me???
So they can show it to the other drivers and see who caught the biggest whale that day

>> No.16145618

>>16145197
you triggered so many insecure fatties, based

>> No.16145626

>>16145220
This is why they laugh at you
>>>/fit/

>> No.16145635

OP if you want to convince them youre not alone when you open the door just turn around and yell and say "jUST A MINUTE BABE!" and the driver will think ur cool and have a girl friend!

>> No.16145644
File: 2.18 MB, 1920x1080, 1533273296135.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16145644

OP we all know what's up even if you try pretending it's not all your junk food.
We can tell by the shameful look you try to hide, the obvious emptiness of your tiny abode, the way you awkwardly shout to a nonexistent guess, and the shitty way in which you tip.

>> No.16145657

>>16145644
fuck you ill shoot you and i tipped really good

>> No.16145666

>>16145657
if anything you probably gave yourself away by overcompensating on the tip, as if you were bribing the driver to not tell anyone how you live

>> No.16145699

>>16145666
fucking shit youre right. fuck why cant i do anything right. i just wanted to eat in peace but theyre literally peaking in my window right now and watching me. its so uncomfortable why does door dash allow this?

>> No.16145703
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16145703

>>16145288
fuckin lamayo

>> No.16145710

>>16145164
Why don't you just go there yourself instead of getting doordash?

>> No.16145714

>>16145710
Then he becomes three for free.

>> No.16145719

>>16145710
because the fucking people that work at mcdonalds will recognize me immediately. they threw things at me when i reached to grab the food bag and when i paid them they didnt give me any change

>> No.16145724

The autism in this thread is why I keep coming back to /ck/.

>> No.16145748

Swing at me fatty ill knock you the fuck out and eat your food so i can sodomize you while youre unconscious and doordash your ass back and forth dashing before you wake up and closing the door

>> No.16145758

>>16145644
based maximum pain

>> No.16145807

My last door dash deliverer chased me down the street after i called them a racial slur on accident. I never got my food

>> No.16145812

>>16145164

The moment they hear your fat ass waddling down the hallway, your sausage fingers creep into vision as you pull open your door, the sweat and grease oozing from your face from the effort of walking from your armchair to front door, and the stench that only fat people have hits them hard - they know. Just accept your order and give them a whiffy stinky fart once you turn around. You can't embarrass yourself anymore but you sure can make it more unpleasant for them.

>> No.16145815

>>16145812
lmfao. this

>> No.16145816
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16145816

>>16145807
>accident

>> No.16145823

>>16145220
How tall are you? 200lbs is not that bad

>> No.16145834

>>16145823
5'11 or '10 im not sure. my ideal weight is like 175 lbs according to internet doctors

>> No.16145843

>>16145816
well the only real accident was that they were able to hear me clearly enough to get angry. im lucky i already had running shoes on.

>> No.16145859

>>16145807
doesnt sound too bad. i had a dominos driver sit in my parking lot for 3 days and wouldnt leave until i gave him a tip. when i finally went out to tip him he ran over my foot.

>> No.16146013

>>16145807
>chased me down the street
Do you get food delivered to you in the middle of the street? Afraid they will know where you live or something?

>> No.16146026

>>16145220
Stuff yourself with celery instead. If you are addicted to food it might as well be healthy food.

>> No.16146029

>>16145174
>>16145164
>>16145220
if you're this obsessed about self-image then you should put down the burgers and start hitting the gym, fatty

>> No.16146030

>>16145524
t. fatass

>> No.16146038

I don't think delivery people really give a fuck bro. They'll probably think you're a stoner or drunk. Those are the type of people who get shit delivered.

>> No.16146040

>>16145164
Blast really fucking loud music, drench yourself in alcohol and before you open the door yell something along the lines of "hey OUR food's here, I'll be right back" or fuck it, just own up to it fatty

>> No.16146053

>>16145164
>if it happens again im going to fight them.
>BREAKING: fat fuck breaks both his arms after slipping down his porch trying to swing at an uber eats delivery guy

>> No.16146077

>>16145164
As a doordash driver I promise you they don't give a shit. Give me a nice tip and I dont give a shit how much food your fatass eats. And choose no contact delivery. Dropping food off at the door + a good tip are instant accepts.

The only thing a doordash driver cares about is a. The tip. B the tip. C. Is it a pain in the ass to navigate your complex to find your apartment d. How hard is it to find parking

>> No.16146090

>>16146029
don't you ever try to tell me what to do again, you degenerate homosexual

>> No.16146093

>>16145164
>>16145174
ask for contactless delivery you stupid fuck

>> No.16146191

>>16145167
/thread

>> No.16146198

>>16145164
Come out shrowding yourself in a cloak or large blanket, to obscure your features

>> No.16146210
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16146210

>>16145279
>start the oven, that autistic obese gay guy named jessica just ordered three more large pizzas

>> No.16146283

>>16145220
>200 lb
Shut the fuck up faggot you aren't fat

>> No.16146294

>>16146210
https://youtu.be/M6zVLOAIxo0

>> No.16146312
File: 1.39 MB, 234x183, 1617215461865.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16146312

>>16145164
Just before you close the door, bellow at the top of your lungs "DINNER IS HERE".

>> No.16146317

>>16145834
lol I was 180lbs at 5’6 and managed to get down to 150lbs in 2 months, just lay off processed food and sugary shit and exercise a bit

>> No.16146324

>>16145164
ubereats has an option to leave at door, I have been doing that for the last 7 months

>> No.16146328

>>16146210
this, they're going to murder him eventually

>> No.16146433

>>16145164
>i want to dash at them
you cheeky bastard

>> No.16146440

>>16145164
dead men tell no tales

>> No.16146504

>>16145164
I’m a delivery driver. We have zero way of knowing if there are multiple people in a house or apartment.

The only suspicious meals I’ve ever delivered were 7 Whataburger meals to the same small apartment (lights off, no sound from within) with no extra cars parked in front, and then four large Peter Piper Pizzas to a suspiciously quiet mobile home, which were received by a very happy obese woman who eyed the food concerningly.

Other than that I normally have zero clue if there are more people. Two big macs, three large fries, and a 20pc nuggie to an apartment isn’t suspicious at all. If you ordered eighty mcnuggets and five big macs and five mcchickens and ten fries to a small apartment and I heard no noise from within or you took the delivery from me personally (normally I do contactless) and I saw or heard no one else in there, I’d be suspicious.

But a meal that small, no

>> No.16146516

>>16145181
This is true for all but two deliveries I have done. If it’s a lot of food (meaning for at least five or more people) and it seems like there really isn’t anyone else at home, then I silently judge. But I’ve done over 1,000 deliveries and that happened only twice.

OP’s quantities would not make me wonder or judge

>> No.16146596
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16146596

Lmaòooooòoo OP is fat and autistic as fuck

>> No.16146739
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16146739

>>16145164
Kek I completely understand why they laugh at you

>> No.16146755

>>16145164
Embrace the fatness. Say yes this is all for me are you jealous you can't eat it all weak skinny fuck? Maybe answer the door bong in hand so at least you have an excuse? But ultimately quit being an insecure faggot is the answer you may not want to hear but need to...

>> No.16146762

>>16145220
>eating like a pig
>only 200lbs

You are like 21 years old, aren't you?

>> No.16146768

>>16145164
kys, they'll never laugh at your face again this way

>> No.16146775

>>16145164
>not taking the food and slamming the door in their face

>> No.16146792

>>16145164
Here's what you do you fat autist
>Have loud music or a movie playing in the background on your TV
>on your computer put up a YouTube video of general background conversation
>answer the door. Get the food yell towards the back "hey guys time to eat foods here!
There you're normal now.

>> No.16146809
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16146809

>>16145164
>get laughed at when ordering doordash
>spend thousands on cars you will never drive only to make the driveway seem full
Yeah that will show them

>> No.16146831

>>16145167
kek

>> No.16146836
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16146836

>>16145164
How autistic ate you OP?

>> No.16146857

List your name at Carl&Steve

>> No.16146892
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16146892

>>16145164

As a doordash and app worker, I automatically assume all the food is for one person if they are a fatty, and if I didn't see anyone else at the door.

So yes we do make those judgements if you order a buttload of food and if you look like a fatso. Might even chuckle about it to my friend as well.

>> No.16146898

>>16145197
>>16145206
I could be on the hall of fame... but shit, based

>> No.16146906

>>16145164
Enjoy your feet and vision while you still have them. You clearly have zero discipline so you won't be able to manage the incoming type2 diabeties

>> No.16146953

Lmao why don't you and the other retard on ck get together and sue all the food delivery companies
>>16146786

>> No.16146963

Based thread.

>> No.16147009

I'm bumping this so more people can laugh at op :^)

>> No.16147057

Lmaoing @ur mantits

>> No.16147084

>>16145167
fpbp

>> No.16147088

>>16145167
This is why I don't do delivery.

>> No.16147102

>>16147088
Yeah same, I would hate to see the creatures that order that much food like OP but then again I may get a few chuckles out of it

>> No.16147128

>>16145175
>You’re attempting to fill a gaping whole in your life and soul with food and you know it isn’t working and making you more empty even.

u just attacked my alcoholism

>> No.16147138

>>16147128
Go have a drink or five and order some doordash champ

>> No.16147168

>>16146038
>They'll probably think you're a stoner or drunk. Those are the type of people who get shit delivered.

Nope. there's only been one time when I thought a guy was drunk. Done a ton of deliveries.

>> No.16147189

>>16147088
>This is why I don't do delivery.

I visually remember the fatsos i've encountered while doordashing and whatnot. At least 4 come to mind LOL

>> No.16147221

>>16145571
How can I cope knowing someone who is ignoring the maintenance cost of their car to work for $5/hr to deliver me food is judging me

>> No.16147248

>>16145279
>Brazil
More likely that they think you're an exceptionally ugly MtF tranny

>> No.16147261
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16147261

>>16147248
I personally would never order doordash in brazil because sam delivers for doordash after getting fired from petshop Cristal and that manlet has hiv

>> No.16147285

>>16147261
Lmao that catfucker got fired? Lmao

>> No.16147381

Nigga flash them ur tits when they snicker
Trust me they don't want to see those mantits

>> No.16147495

Kek
Post mantits

>> No.16147614

ManTits?

>> No.16147781
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16147781

I work 2-3 days for delivery only because I write down addresses of fat people I encounter throughout my deliveries and watch them the next day from my car to take pictures of the whale in its natural habitat and post on the internet

>> No.16147840

>>16145164
Kek, do people like this really exist? Just order what you want and stop caring what other people think.

>> No.16147903

Do you use a manbrah?

>> No.16148511

>>16147781
Hehehehe

>> No.16148551

>>16147221
By convincing yourself you're not beneath them.

>> No.16148628

>>16146283
Unless you’re over 6 foot and jacked being 200 lbs+ is definitely fat

>> No.16148647
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16148647

>>16145164
i always ask them not to knock or ring the doorbell since the babies are sleeping ;)

my local mcdonalds fucked up one of their doordash prices so i take advantage of it on the regular

>> No.16148657

>>16148647
Niceeeeeee

>> No.16148784

>>16146210
>start the oven
>start

>> No.16148832

>>16146762
23

>> No.16149084

I have a totally different problem op. Whenever I order I always make them leave it at the door. But my neighbor's kids see me when I go out to get the food and they point and I can tell they're talking about me. I tried waving and they gave me the middle finger and started throwing things at me. Im going to fight these kids.

>> No.16149130
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16149130

>>16145279

>> No.16149139
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16149139

>>16149084
>Anon gets arrested for attacking minors

>> No.16149144

>>16146077
>pain in the ass to navigate your complex
i had a black guy call me and yell at me because he couldnt figure out how to turn around and go to a different entry gate. he threatened to send my food back if i didnt give him precise directions.

he stole my drink :(

>> No.16149184

>>16149139
I'll fight the cops too

>> No.16149189
File: 214 KB, 1920x1080, 1618425048766.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16149189

>>16149184
>Anon gets sniped from the helicopter

>> No.16149215
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16149215

>>16145279

/thread

>> No.16149369

I can't be bothered to give a shit. The only customers I dislike are the ones who let their pitbulls run all over the place or the ones too drunk to receive their order. I don't even care if you tip or not most of the time. Not everyone does and I still get paid anyway.

People who need to put you down over your own personal choices that don't affect others are hollow inside, anyway. Hell, I go around looking like a freakshow on purpose. Hope it makes you insecure fat fucks feel better to see somebody giving no fucks.

>> No.16149607

>>16149189
I'll fight the helicopter

>> No.16149631
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16149631

I have an autistic 15 year old son and although he’s mentally about age 6 overall, he’s now going through puberty. Autism and puberty is a lethal combination. I dread everyday waking up to this living nightmare. the screaming is piercing, lasting hours in our house. I’m 47 years old and I have severe heart disease like both my parents. I choose not to get the medical help I need because when I die my nightmare ends.

>> No.16149839

>>16145164
>If it happens again im going to fight them
Lmao sure you are, fatty.
Sit down and eat your food.

>> No.16149851

>>16149631
You decided to have kids. Enjoy your fucking torment, and the knowledge that you're ultimately the cause of your son's torment. Thanks for adding suffering to the world.

>> No.16149867

>>16145164
>how do i prevent the door dash driver from knowing my 2 big mac and 3 large fry plus 20 mcnuggets are all just for me and not a whole family?
Order 3 drinks if you have 3 mains. Think about desserts the same way.

>> No.16150022

>>16149867
Pretty smart desu

>> No.16150034

>>16149867
this is a good idea. also you can walk up to the door with a sharpie and write fake names on the drinks in front of the driver to trick him

>> No.16150044 [DELETED] 

Anyone who posts any iteration of pepe (that isn't a panel of Boy's Club) or wojak deserves to be doxxed, hunted down, and murdered for being a blight not only to this board and this website, but also to the collective intelligence of the entire human race.
Also they're breaking>>>/global/rules/6 and>>>/global/rules/10 so they must be reported as soon as possible and as much as possible for the greater good.
https://sys.4channel.org/ck/imgboard.php?mode=report&no=16145164

>> No.16150051 [DELETED] 
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16150051

>>16150044

>> No.16150058

>>16149839
i will briskly walk towards you and show you whats coming you piece of shit.

>> No.16150073
File: 35 KB, 451x451, geralt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16150073

>>16145279
This is actually perfect, im going to remake my account so i can change the name to Emily or something

>> No.16150159
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16150159

>>16150073
if the delivery wagies syndicate finds out you're a dead man

>> No.16150183

>>16145164
Cant you just tell him to leave it on the door? Also, you should fight fire with fire and look at him with disgust for being a dirty wagie

>> No.16150201
File: 7 KB, 200x207, wojak-doomer-black-bleeding-eyes-thumbnail.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16150201

>>16145197

>> No.16150209

>>16150183
you know what youre right. why should i let some loser making $10 an hour at most judge me? i should beat the shit out of them.

>> No.16150318

>>16150209
One delivery guy asked me something in a weird tone so i just looked at him serious like we were gonna fight and he just went away all pissed so i told him to fuck off down the stairs. Im 5'8 75kg and give the "drug dealler ordering food" vibe tho. Just remember anything happens weird you immediately stop him right there and correct them dirty wagies

>> No.16150356

>>16150318
You sound very confident anon. I wish to be like you. Maybe i should answer the door with my shotgun so they think im cool and intimidating? should i point it at them as a joke too?

>> No.16150391

>>16150356
Not at all just stand your ground and understand that theres way more value in not backing out of a fight than our society tells us there is.
>t. lost a girl for backing out of a fight like a bitch a few years back

>> No.16150425

I have a bluetooth speaker and a variety of recordings of girls saying things like "baby what's taking so long?" that I play from my phone in these situations

>> No.16150448
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16150448

>>16145164
>there are people on a cooking board too fat and lazy to just go to a drive thru so they order fast food delivery

>> No.16150456

>>16150448
Drivethroughs are for people with cars, anon

>> No.16150535

>>16150448
the mcdonalds chefs always start recognizing me after my second visit of the day. i dont want them to know how fat i am :(

>> No.16150548
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16150548

>>16145167
FPBP

>> No.16150551
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16150551

>>16150535
>going to McDonald’s 2x a day
Anon..

>> No.16150660

>>16150551
what am I supposed to do when I get hungry anon... I need to eat man

>> No.16150744

Just say drop it at the door because you have dogs or something similar and you won't have to see them

>> No.16150959

>>16145719
Bro are you a schizo?

>> No.16150976

>>16145508
Same. I always open the door shirtless on the odd time I get delivery so there's no room for them to think I'm a fatty.

>> No.16150998

The Pizza Hut I worked at never did anything so disrespectful. I do remember being late with a pizza once because it was a busy Friday night. An old man answered the door said, "You're late." I tried to apologize and he said, "you need to tell HER that, little lady. " For some reason I let myself get ushered into their home where an absolutely livid obeast woman laid into me because I didn't get her pizza there in time for her to consume the whole thing before work. She sent the pizza back with me and I threw it away because I am not fat. I felt bad about that for years but now it just makes me laugh.

>> No.16151002

>>16149369
>personal choices that don't affect others
fatties are bad because taxpayers have to pay for public healthcare. if we lived in a libertarian country this wouldn't be a problem.

>> No.16151191

>>16145484
>No one does that
Yes we do. The fact is that it doesn't actually matter because we still have to deliver food to your fat ass. If you're a nice guy and tip an average rate....well then we probably won't make fun of you behind your back.

>> No.16151346

>>16145164
order more then roll out your door.

>> No.16151423

>>16150959
fucking cunt i know youre the door dasher from earlier today why is your car still outside of my house
i can hear you whispering in my air vent you piece of shit GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

>> No.16151832

>>16148784
What's so outlandish about starting an oven, chief?

>> No.16153177

>>16145484
>Career Delivery Driver
wew lad, get your life together

>> No.16153329

>>16145220
>>16145164
step 1: grow up
step 2: get help, you have crippling depression and anxiety. I know, its not easy but you gota do something man.
step 3: learn cooking. you get better every time, and its much more rewarding than pressing the order button. Create something for once.

>> No.16153337
File: 99 KB, 640x274, 1618476956314.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16153337

Lmaooooo not only does this fatfuck order mcdonald's everyday but multiple times a day as if it's the only thing he can eat. Op is extremely autistic

>> No.16153557

Post man tits

>> No.16153793

>>16149851
Cope antinatalist retard

>> No.16154238
File: 32 KB, 493x335, 1618247512719.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16154238

>>16153793
>says the guy being tormented day-by-day
Lmao

>> No.16154408

>>16153793
You're the one having to cope with your creation everyday for 18 years, I'm completely fine

>> No.16154735

>>16154408
>18 years
try 50. basically the rest of anon's life. the autistic fuck isnt magically going to be able to take care of himself at 18.

>> No.16154785

>>16151002
In this case, I think the agency lies in the state. It isn't Joe Blow's decision to make you pay taxes or what they're spent on.

>> No.16154818

>>16145164
Skinny female recluse here.

I order food for the week. Never interact with drivers. Have them leave it at the door. Last time I interacted with a driver he profusely apologized for no reason, and I had to tell him it was okay. He got a 5$ tip anyways.

>> No.16155124

>>16154818
we dont care what a woman has to say, real or not

>> No.16155138

People don't laugh at op because he is fat. They laugh at him for being an autistic virgin

>> No.16155963

>>16155124
Based