/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16084929]

>your friend talks you into a cool new burger joint downtown.
>the outdoor seating is made of repurposed barn wood
>Edison lights throughout the interior
>your waiter, Gabe, is 6'2" and 120lbs, 10% of that mass appears to be beard.
>his suspenders and wire frame bifocals offend your sensibilities in ways you can't describe
>their craft beer list is 28 beers long
>25 of them are IPAs
>the cheapest burger is $15.95
>all the beef is from a rare heirloom breed of cattle found only on three ranches in Manitoba.
>you take a bite of your burger.
>pure liquid smoke

[Anonymous No.16084940]

I don't particularly like hipsters, but I always find it amusing when a basement dweller like OP types out all this complete nonsense he imagines them to be like.

[Anonymous No.16084950]

>>16084940
Fpbp

[Anonymous No.16084994]

whats wrong with suspenders?
these dickies keep my pants from falling down on the jobsite

[Anonymous No.16085046]

>>16084994
Just wear a belt retard

[Anonymous No.16085058]

>>16084994
>down on the jobsite
is your jobsite a cafe?

[Anonymous No.16085122]

>>16085046
suspenders actually are more comfortable and keep your pants at an even level.

Belts either can be too lax and have your pants slide around when maneuvering or too tight and uncomfortable. especially when driving then getting up and about.

[Anonymous No.16085127]

>>16084929
i'm not sure if it was liquid smoke but one time in a gravy on these chicken fried steak benedict i had it tasted like what i imagine too much liquid smoke does.

[Anonymous No.16085379]

>>16085127
I'd put liquid smoke slightly below artificial vanilla and a good deal above fake maple syrup on the list of ingredients I wouldn't use 99% of the time. I'm industry, so have seen a million recipes using all sorts of ingredients I'd never buy for myself, but occasionally they can be good - if used sparingly. I'll just say, if you're using something like liquid smoke in a dish, that dish shouldn't have "smoked" in the name. I'll also add that liquid smoke, artificial vanilla, fake syrup, etc., are the last things I'd ever associate with hipsters; yeah, they ironically drink shitty beer, but if you find yourself at one of their house's first thing in the morning they're not going to serve you eggos and log cabin, regardless of how urgently they need to go to the thrift store to look for new vintage jeans.

[Anonymous No.16085399]

>>16085046
>my belt is holding my pants up
>my belt loops are holding my belt up
>what's going on down there?

[Anonymous No.16085415]

>>16085122
This. And they are a pain in the hoop to tighten under toolbelt.

[Anonymous No.16085431]

>>16084994
This you, foreman?

[Anonymous No.16085545]

>>16085379
thanks for the response. it was some breakfast joint that was trying to be more zazzy/upscale like first watch but not as organic/mother earthly

[Anonymous No.16085548]

If coming from Manitoba it would be worth it at that price if it was Bison rather than beef. Shit is amazing for burgers.

[Anonymous No.16085860]

>>16085548
Maybe you just cooked a good burger for once.

[Anonymous No.16085944]

>>16085399
Huh?

[Anonymous No.16086272]

>>16085944
What?

[Anonymous No.16086287]

>>16084994
dude, i just got the ones without the clamps.these things are awesome as they grab slip right onto your belt. highly recommend.

[Anonymous No.16086294]

>>16084929
what is “scenario i made up in my head” alex

[Anonymous No.16087491]

>>16084929
>liquid smoke
never encountered this at a hipster place
granted the hipster places ive been to are hipster places, not wannabe hipster places

[Anonymous No.16087514]

>>16084929
And dont forget
>disheveled bookshelf in a corner cluttered with tattered board games

[Anonymous No.16087523]

>>16084929
>your waiter, Gabe, is 6'2" and 120lbs, 10% of that mass appears to be beard.
I just ran into this dude an hour ago

[Anonymous No.16087528]

>>16086287
im pro suspenders, but fuck this plastic 'i need a pants harness' bullshit

[Anonymous No.16087534]

>>16087523
>I just ran over this dude an hour ago

[Anonymous No.16087539]

>>16084929
The other 3 are a barrel aged stout with coffee and chocolate, a heifaweizen, and a something in the style of a Belgian ale.

[Anonymous No.16087824]

>>16087514
Clue. Always fucking clue in there. Who is breaking out pencil and paper and settling down for a game of clue?

[Anonymous No.16087835]

>>16084940
Hes 100% right, faggot

[Anonymous No.16087841]

>>16084929
Nailed it, shit prices, shit people working, shit cooking of good ingredients. Id take a good char broiled old fashioned american burger over any new monstrosity some hipster faggots put out. Cant stand that gay shit

[Anonymous No.16087931]

>>16085127
>chicken fried steak benedict
Back up...

[Anonymous No.16087953]

>>16087824
Can't forget the deck of cards that's somehow missing some cards while also having extras of others.

[Anonymous No.16087961]

>>16084940
Sorry Ezekiel, you're not fooling anybody.

[Anonymous No.16088034]

>>16084929
>>16087491
>>liquid smoke
>never encountered this at a hipster place

jfc there is a hipster sausage place in my town that everyone swears is amazing cause it is located in a bourbon focused bar and by the time you get your food you are buzzed up.

pure fucking liquid smoke, total garbage

[Anonymous No.16088044]

>>16085431
im in awe at the size of this man

[Anonymous No.16088507]

>>16087931
yeah it was likes eggs benedict but gravy instead of hollandaise and chicken fried steak instead of ham and biscuit instead of english muffin.

[Anonymous No.16088540]

>>16084929
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I

[Anonymous No.16088567]

>>16085399
Mitchposting never goes out of style

[Anonymous No.16088925]

>>16088507
So a chicken fried steak

[Anonymous No.16089844]

>>16088925
buddy i'm just telling you how they put it on the menu. it was just dolled up to look more like a benedict but yes its not really.

[Anonymous No.16089979]

>>16089844
Post their website

[Anonymous No.16091316]

>>16084929
>all the beef is from a rare heirloom breed of cattle found only on three ranches in Manitoba.

I'm happy you decided to include my province in your fantasy, but I assure you that whatever beef comes out of here wouldn't be good enough for Gabe's boss.

[Anonymous No.16093050]

>>16091316
Manitoba is not a beef powerhouse, but what beef cattle they do have is almost all pasture fed, as opposed to the commercial feed lots that produce most of Canada's beef. They produce quality not quantity.
But yes, the ranchers of Manitoba probably aren't doing exclusive wagyu shit.

[Anonymous No.16093093]

This board probably bitches the most out of all the fags on 4chan

[Anonymous No.16093107]

>>16093093
Visit /k/.

[Anonymous No.16093114]

>>16087539
spot fuckin on mate

[Anonymous No.16093261]

>>16093093
/cgl/

[Anonymous No.16093271]

>>16085399
Based mitchposter

[Anonymous No.16093316]

>>16087539
Fuck off hefeweizen and belgian ales are way better than IPAs

[Anonymous No.16093352]

>>16084940
>imagines

[Anonymous No.16093410]

>>16093261
Reminder that a /cgl/schizo has been terrorizing /jp/, /vt/, /r9k/, and /int/ for months because she didn't get hired to be an anime chicken restaurant owner.

[Anonymous No.16093429]

>>16084940
I live in Portland Oregon and I can tell you that OP is not too far off the mark. Places like these aren't a majority, like about 1 in 10-20 joints, but he's pretty close or spot on.

[Anonymous No.16093718]

>>16084940
The 25 of 28 beers being IPAs is objectively true

[Anonymous No.16094621]

>>16084929
>2012 + 9 years
>still getting triggered by “””hipsters”””
pathetic

[Anonymous No.16094658]

>>16094621
2007+14 years actually

[Anonymous No.16094660]

>>16084940
I live in NYC and he's right. You Will Never Be a Real Man.

[Anonymous No.16094674]

>I don't particularly like hipsters, but I always find it amusing when a basement dweller like OP types out all this complete nonsense he imagines them to be like.

[Anonymous No.16094682]

>>16093410
Daily reminder that /cgl/ users created an entire women only chan to discuss drama and shitfling

[Anonymous No.16094686]

>>16084940
>complete nonsense he imagines them to be like
apart from the bifocals, and liquid smoke(because it's not a burger joint) he's pretty much spot on for the popular hipster joint in my downtown

[Anonymous No.16094722]

>>16093429
I went to Reed. Maybe things have changed since I was there, but everything OP posted is so completely out of touch based on my experience in the mid-aughts.

[Anonymous No.16094737]

>>16093410
>/vt/, /r9k/, and /int/
based schizo dabbing on faggot boards

[Anonymous No.16094759]

>>16094674
Hipsters don't use reddit, dum dum. You're literally proving his point.

[Anonymous No.16094923]

>>16087528
>im pro suspenders, but fuck this plastic 'i need a pants harness' bullshit
sure you are. this is exactly want some pro belt shill would say. suspenders are a fucking harness for your pants. that is the point. you wear a good belt that gives support and allows the carry options of a knife, multitool, phones, some kind of pistol carry, ect while suspenders level it all out and distribute the weight across your shoulders.

[Anonymous No.16094938]

>>16085046
Suspenders are unironically better then belts, but i would only wear them when working or hiking or snowboarding

[Anonymous No.16094991]

>>16094938
the problem with most of the people you are telling this to wear 'belts' that are more like elastic waistbands than a real belt. if you wear a solid belt, suspenders are great.

[Not a shill from /pol/ No.16095055]

>>16084940
Indianapolis reporting in. Most bars and pubs are like this.
The correct answer is learn to cook and buy your beer at the liquor store. I even brew my own every once in a while. It's not expensive or complicated and makes for a nice houswarming gift, party favor, potluck contribution etc.

[Not a shill from /pol/ No.16095059]

>>16084994
When I was /fit/ I used to dress like Michael Douglas from that wall street movie. Khakis and blue/ blue and white striped button downs with dark red and navy suspenders. Dark brown oxfords or wingtips.
But I didn't wear flannel shirts and wool beanies with a curled up moustache. Context, people. Location location location.

[Anonymous No.16095071]

I live in a hipster shithole called Leeds in England and thus describes every food joint here

[Anonymous No.16095095]

I like edison lightbulbs. The orange is cozy and I like the shapes made by the wires.

[Anonymous No.16095107]

>>16095095
>The orange is cozy
The orange drives me nuts. I can't stand that off putting incandescent bulb color. Anything other than daylight led is headache inducing for me to read by - the fucking orange being that absolute worse. It causes pain.

[Anonymous No.16095115]

>>16085046
Belts are inferior suspenders made to cut down on material costs and sold to the same fuckwits who got tricked into thinking diamonds are rare.

Fucking things can be shat out in a lab for fucking pennies, we stick those glittery cockrocks on fucking industrial equipment so they can be destroyed. And belt-wearing fucktards buy them for six million Jews because they got conned by Big Wedding.

[Anonymous No.16095116]

>>16084929
>friends want to go to a burger joint you've never been to
>get there and order at a counter
>go to sit down
>gut too big to fit in the booth
>they only have booths
wtf man a burger place should really have appropriate seating for big fat bastards

[Anonymous No.16095121]

>>16095116
It's called the dumpster out back you piece of garbage.

[Not a shill from /pol/ No.16095127]

>>16095059
Point is there's nothing wrong with craft beer or suspenders or even people that wear glasses. It's that all those things together attract pretentious cocksuckers. They toss each other's salads and sniff their own farts and bray at each other like the beasts of burden they are as they consoom shit from their phones or televisions and then congratulate one another on having the right opinion about the newest 8bit game or milkshake IPA or political issue. Orange man bad. Candy crushable IPA good. Urban outfitters. The last skywalker. Game of thrones. Organic matcha.

[Anonymous No.16095128]

>>16095121
Rude

[Not a shill from /pol/ No.16095132]

>>16095127
Also fuck niggers and jannies. Pls no ban I really like cooking.

[Anonymous No.16095159]

>>16095055
>Indianapolis reporting in
>giving an opinion on hipsters

[Anonymous No.16095182]

>>/fit/16095116

[Anonymous No.16095184]

>>16095116
>>>/fit/61425955

[Anonymous No.16095197]

>>16095107
Im like that with blue light and florencents. All my screens are pretty orange to compensate.

[Anonymous No.16095352]

>>16095197
The orange ones also remind me of the lighting seen in something like a refinery or a prison. Or It could be I have seen the dystopian incandescent industrial future dimly lit in the flickering orange oppressive glow of tyranny, powered by the labor of masses who toil away in subterranean sweat shops; shackled to machines.

[Anonymous No.16095751]

>>16095352
Orange lights make me think of streetlights in the fog, old gas lamps, and the warmth of a fireplace. The glow of the setting sun.

Pale lights put me in mind of hospital wards, the infirm and the dying cast in fluorescent glow.

[Anonymous No.16095891]

guys why isn't this a spiderman thread yet

[Anonymous No.16096333]

>>16094722
>Reed
That's gonna be a yikes from me bud.