Can Your Wife Cook?

[Anonymous No.15909952]

My wife is an awful cook. She was never taught (her mom is worse than terrible in the kitchen,) and she's afraid to fuck up.

[Anonymous No.15909973]

I'm a cock sucker but my husband cooks fairly decently. Unfortunately he's got the temper of a retarded toddler so if he burns something or anything turns out poorly he'll start stomping around and screaming until his voice goes hoarse. Because of that shit I've asked that he not do any of the cooking.

[Anonymous No.15909990]

>>15909973
he sounds like such a raging faggot

[Anonymous No.15909995]

>>15909952
My ex used to cook and I guess it was alright but honestly most of it was like flyover tier housewife shit and it was making her and I fat. Couldn't get it through to her that I didn't want a daily meal when I walked in from work and I'd prefer she went to yoga and we went out but she couldn't get that so I dumped her partially for that and some other shit mainly attached to her being boring.

[Anonymous No.15910006]

Call her a faggot. This won’t help her to cook better but maybe she’ll leave you so you can find a better wife.

[Anonymous No.15910012]

I've never even held a girl's hand.

[Anonymous No.15910023]

>>15910012
out. this board is for sexhavers only

[Anonymous No.15910033]

My fiancée cooks fantastic food, as long as I don’t mind Japanese.

[Anonymous No.15910037]

>>15909995
You will die alone

[Anonymous No.15910048]

>>15910037
Probably for the better, most of the rest of you will pay 50% of your net worth into a divorce.

[Anonymous No.15910066]

>>15910048
Joke's on her. 50% of zero is zero.

[Anonymous No.15910092]

>>15909952
She's ok. If left to her own devices she will produce lemon pepper chicken breast, quinoa, and steamed broccoli which is fine if you're a /fit/fag. But she can also do better food if I motivate her to by helping

[Anonymous No.15910219]

>>15909990
He's literally both of those things.
He makes really good potatoes though, and consistently enough that won't fuck 'em up, start shitting his pants, and hurling dinner plates at the walls.

[Anonymous No.15910248]

>>15910066
50% of all captchas you solve will go to her

[Anonymous No.15910298]

>>15909952
>she's afraid to fuck up
Oeufs cocotte, bacon in the oven, box mix pancakes.
Baked potatoes (in the oven) are damn near impossible to fuck up.

Absolutely none of this is technically hard, the ingredients aren't costly (so neither are mistakes), and these will build her confidence.
If something does go horribly wrong with a new dish, well... bacon & eggs for dinner isn't the worst thing.

My ex's were awful at cooking.
My current wife is substantially better, but lacks the coordinated timing to make it all come out at the same time.

[Anonymous No.15910303]

>>15909952

My wife is a cartoon character, so no.

[Anonymous No.15910308]

>>15910012
Pathetic. I held hands with my lesbian friend yesterday. You have no excuses.

>>15909952
I never married. My last girlfriend of 6 1/2 years could only cook a few dishes, but at least she tried to learn. She had a horrible habit of substitution in recipes, and kept wanting to use applesauce instead of sugar. One is a liquid and one is a solid, so you can imagine how badly some recipes turned out.

[Anonymous No.15910334]

>>15909952
She can make the following things reliably:

>Macaroni and cheese from a box
>Spaghetti
>Meatloaf
>Grilled cheese and canned tomato soup

I'm the cook in the family because I'm actually good at a bunch of things. I've tried to teach her but she says she doesn't like cooking and doesn't want to know. I do like cooking but sometimes I'm busy when stuff needs to be prepped or watched and she's a giant pain in the ass with it because she's useless at cooking. Whatever, she's a baby factory and watched the kids all day and is a good mother and keeps the house clean as well as the laundry done so I guess I can let it slide that she sucks at cooking.

She's alright at baking though. Funny how many women fall into that classification.

[Anonymous No.15910368]

>>15910334
>can grill a cheese and loaf a meat
Probably could do a good hamboigah, then.

[Anonymous No.15910375]

I don't know any women who can cook, only men.

If the women do cook, they treat recipes like the Bible. To the point of serving raw or burned food because "it said to cook it for 25 minutes". Working in an office with women and having a potluck is like being subjected to experimentation.

[Anonymous No.15910379]

>>15910375
THERES NO REAL RECIPE
ITS YOUR CHOICE

[Anonymous No.15910389]

>>15909952
My wife's cooking was what got me to propose in the first place. I'm a chef, and she's a lawyer, but despite having never worked in a restaurant in any capacity, she's an amazing home cook, even has a good sense of timing. She's also, admittedly, a better baker than me. She makes this apple coffee cake that makes me cum in my pants, every time. I love my wife <3

[Anonymous No.15910404]

>>15910368
No, I have a blackstone griddle and make smashburgers. It's the easiest fucking thing in the world to use but she refuses to for some reason. I was just arguing with her last weekend because she wanted me to make burgers for a family dinner and I said I didn't have time to do it that day, but she was welcome to use the griddle. It's a fucking flat metal surface with burners under it, anyone who can hold a spatula and turn a knob can use it but NOOOOO, too complicated.

[Anonymous No.15910443]

>>15910023
Sorry to tell you this anon, but watching your 'girlfriend' get fucked by her bull while you masturbate in the corner doesn't count as having sex.

[Anonymous No.15910465]

>>15910443
>fantasy and projection
last refuge of volcels

[Anonymous No.15910466]

>>15909952

She can, but I cook better

She bakes though. Let me tell you, few things are sexier than watching a woman skillfully knead dough

[Anonymous No.15910497]

My qtazngf is arguably more of a foodie than I am, besides being a pescetarian. She's a great cook, even if her meals are typically much less caloric than my honest tastes would go for

[Anonymous No.15910562]

No she is objectively terrible. No inspiration. No creativity. No desire to improve. Sees it as a boring chore. Doesn't understand 99% of the nuances or reasons behind doing things a certain way. Constantly asks me what to make, what to do, how to do it, doesn't remember what went right and what went wrong from the last time. Blames me, blames others, doesn't learn from her mistakes. Gets upset if it goes wrong, doesn't want to make mistakes so doesn't want to try. Wants to get out of cooking so just delays and puts it off and then tries to rush something she doesn't know how to make. Believes retarded things about soap, disinfectant, fat, salt, sugar, plastic wrap, foil etc and spoils things as a result. Doesn't like heavy cookware and has a preference for doing everything in the same dishes which if they aren't clean or available just windowsshutdown.exe.

Basically she'll bitch and moan about having to cook up until close to bedtime and when she realises she isn't getting her own way she'll toss something out of the freezer into the oven and either burn it or serve it raw. If I'm like ... are there going to be any sides with this she'll roll her eyes and then go absolutely fucking crazy at me. Sometimes I get instant gravy made in a mug. Sometimes she'll microwave some peas or sweetcorn.

It once got so bad that I started saying sure I'll cook if you suck my dick. She willingly got into the habit of sucking my dick almost every night. When I didn't want to cook she'd get on her knees and be like "come on, I haven't got all day, I'm hungry, get your dick out so I can suck it then ..." After about 6 months of this I said as much as I like my dick being sucked it started as a joke to see if you'd rather suck dick than learn to cook even basic meals and she got really embarrassed and angry.

When we started dating I was like ... where are your pans? Where is your knife? Do you have a can opener? She literally lived on takeaway food and packaged crap.

[Anonymous No.15910720]

>>15910375
Same. All the women I know around my age tell me they don’t like cooking. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think modern feminism has something to do with that.

Doesn’t bother me too much though, since I love to cook. Plus I get tons of easy dates where I invite a girl over to my place for a meal. Cheap to do and they’re usually impressed by my cooking skills since home cooking is viewed as a feminine quality

[Anonymous No.15910754]

My wife is a very good cook, she's Belizean so I get delicious hispanic/caribbean food all the time. It is very fattening so we both have to workout alot to keep healthy

[Anonymous No.15910872]

She can make eggs and stir shit in a pot. Otherwise, no.

[Anonymous No.15910915]

>>15910023
Tell that to 95% of people who use this board

[Anonymous No.15910988]

>>15909995
Ill fucking kill you

[Anonymous No.15910996]

>>15910562
Damn, are you me?

[Anonymous No.15911017]

>>15909952
Last night, for my wife.
The other night I got home and my wife was craving some "soul food", baked mac and cheese, beans, and collard greens.
Mind you, I just got off a 14 hour shift, my wife has been work from home for the past six months, and yet as soon as I step through the door the demands for food starts.
I am exhausted. The least she could do would be to start dinner. I don't even expect a full meal for me, ready and on the table, for when I get home. Just start the fucking food.
But no. House is a mess, dishes need to be done. I've had it
I threw everything into a pot, everything. The noodles, the cheese, the canned beans, all the spices and the collard greens. I made her watch as I cooked it.
Knew it was done once the pasta cooked through.
Next thing I did was make her eat her hot bowl of everything soup
She kept crying, saying she didn't want it, that it "tasted bad"
Well too bad, I made her stay at the table for two hours until she finished the whole damn bowl.

[Anonymous No.15911019]

>>15909952
My wife can make toast and grilled cheese sandwiches. Kraft mac and cheese too!

[Anonymous No.15911025]

my wife is a former pastry chef/chef assistant and can make literally anything. she often makes restaurant quality food and very impressive desserts. everyone who's eaten her food says it's the best home cooking they've ever had.

[Anonymous No.15911054]

I don't believe she's afraid to fuck up, she just lacks interest in cooking real food. Especially if she bakes... Baking is way more precise and time consuming.

Besides, she sounds like a cunt and you're an idiot for allowing this kind of behavior. Imagine you have to eat microwaved peas for the rest of your life.

[Anonymous No.15911093]

>>15910023
neck yourself homo

[Anonymous No.15911101]

why would I be on this board if she did? check mate OP

[Anonymous No.15911155]

>>15910988
lol every time i tell this story people get so mad

stop wanting a replacement mommy

[Anonymous No.15911211]

>>15910720
>All the women, they don’t like cooking
I see this a lot.
Hot breakfast takes 10 minutes to make; milk and cereal takes 1 minute. Cereal it is.
Change it up with instant oatmeal in the microwave, because 1 minute quick oatmeal takes too long.
Oh, didn't make anything for dessert, because couldn't find the 5 minutes a few hours ago to do a cake mix or a jello.

You're not a damn princess; you don't have servants to do chores for your servants.
Maybe learn to sing sweetly and let cute woodland animals in to help with the chores. Songbirds can hang laundry and squirrels can bake, although she hasn't managed to get them to pitch in yet.

[Anonymous No.15911224]

>>15911211
I'd rather eat cereal than instant microwaved oats.
I'd rather not eat dessert if it's going to be some boxed garbage.
The average american really can only cook as well as Jack, huh?

[Anonymous No.15911240]

>>15909952
My cooking is okay. My boyfriend is better at improvisation while cooking and tries out new things with mixed results, while I like to stick to a tried and true dinner if it's received positive reception and try not to deviate. As time passes, we'll build a recipe box of our own.

[Anonymous No.15911260]

>wife cooking
>see her adding table salt to steak instead of sea salt
>slap steak off counter and make her prepare another one

[Anonymous No.15911267]

>>15911211
Complaining about not getting dessert? Who's the princesd here?

[Anonymous No.15911295]

>>15909952

my lady went to culinary school and is a pastry chef. im a self taught chef. she cooks okay but doesnt know how to cook without a recipe, i think thats the issue with bakers. like the other morning she made me undercooked "over easy" eggs and i said to her "babe these arent cooked" cuz the whites were running all over the place and she flipped her shit and said sarcastically "SORRY CHEF".

[Anonymous No.15911319]

>>15909952
My girlfriend and I are great together in the kitchen, we both grew up with a love of food and try to do as much culinary exploration as possible.
I've been watching a lot of Cooking With Jack and I'm very thankful for the food we make together. Also thankful for my parents being the same way and not just cooking the typical american slop most people have to deal with.

[Anonymous No.15911513]

>>15911017
That’s just casserole. I’d eat

[Anonymous No.15911548]

>>15909952
You should beat the fucking bitch until she learns.

[Anonymous No.15911580]

>>15911267
Well, if "dinner" was a frozen pizza, yeah.

[Anonymous No.15911604]

You can train a woman to follow recipes very easily. I really liked fried food but my mommy didn't know how to make it right. She used this terrible store bought fryer which had very bad temperature controls. I bought her a nice enameled cast-iron dutch oven and a candy thermometer. I taught her to let the chicken soak in buttermilk before breading it and then to add it slowly so the temperature doesn't drop too much. Now, whenever I ask for tendies and tatter tots, they come out perfectly light and crisp.
I am going to teach her how to make red sauce next for when I want pasta.

[Anonymous No.15911753]

>>15909952
I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant. She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

[Anonymous No.15911764]

>>15911753
Cringe larp

[Anonymous No.15911797]

>>15911764
>replying to pristine pasta without jest

[Anonymous No.15911804]

>>15911797
cringe larp despite it being pasta.

[Anonymous No.15911809]

>>15911804
Only thing cringe on this board is you

[Anonymous No.15911824]

>>15911753
tasty, tasty pasta.
should be posted in every thread about shit food.

[Anonymous No.15911825]

>>15911809
Let me put this in words you can understand. When you post shit like this you are just giving the feminazis and rad-libs more ammunition and political impetus to take shit away from you.

[Anonymous No.15911826]

>>15909952
Women should be forbidden from the kitchen other than to do clean up after

[Anonymous No.15911829]

>>15911825
No one is using 4chan copypasta for their political arguments

[Anonymous No.15911837]

>>15911764
It's pasta.

[Anonymous No.15911874]

>>15911829
How soon do you think it'll be before rad-libs dox 4-chan users. How soon do you think it'll be before universities start tracking, monitoring, and sanctioning people who post on 4-chan using university wifi.

This place is constantly demonized in popular culture as being a place of unbridled prejudice, hatred, and violence because attention seeking 14 yr olds, societal rejects, and wizards post cringe shit like the above pasta.

[Anonymous No.15912033]

>>15911874
Please commit suicide ASAP

[Anonymous No.15912066]

>>15911874
right, what we all want is for "popular culture" to think of 4chan as a place of love and warmth where bright-eyed mature socialites post heartfelt messages of caring, so the pasta posting must stop.

[Anonymous No.15912089]

>>15911874
> be at job interview
> potential employer pulls up your 4chan post history
> thousands of pages of vile racism, misogyny, cunny, conspiracy theories, pro-fascist shitposts.

[Anonymous No.15912150]

This thread makes me sad. How'd all you guys end up in relationships with people so disinterested in something you care about?

[Anonymous No.15912186]

>>15909952
Yes, only girl I've ever been with who could. I know most everyone here probably cooks, but if you find yourself a lady who playfully bumps you away from the stove when you're starting to take over, she's a keeper.

[Anonymous No.15912215]

>>15912150
How people manage to be in relationships with people they dislike enough to abuse as well is beyond me, even if it's a larp. This thread is pretty messed up desu

Does anyone here actually like their wife?

[Anonymous No.15912234]

>>15912150
>How'd all you guys end up in relationships with people so disinterested in something you care about?
Have you looked at this board? Do you think people actually care about cooking here? An overwhelming amount of this board is fast food stuff.

>>15912186
I know most everyone here probably cooks
lol

It's like it's the first time you guys have stumbled onto /ck/. I haven't used anything more than a microwave to cook a meal in over a year and I post here almost every day.

[Anonymous No.15912257]

>>15912150
>>15912215
Everything starts out great with most relationships, some people just have a hard time letting go after investing so much. Also, there's no such thing as a 100% perfect match, compromise and appreciating that you'll always be different from your partner in some ways is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. I completely understand that my wife has no interest in comic books or other childish hobbies, maybe a little disdain for them even. But hey, I hate romantic comedies.

We still love eachother deeply, she doesn't give me shit over it, and she is happy when I'm happy, as I am when she is. That's really all that matters

[Anonymous No.15912259]

>>15912234
Rather, everyone knows how to prepare or at least obtain the food that they like to eat.

[Anonymous No.15912308]

>>15909952
My ex was an amazing cook. She whipped up my favourite Sichuan dish when I was ill after fifteen mins of watching video recipes and it tasted amazing. God damn it covid will pay for what it has taken from my tastebuds.
>>15909995
You do sound like a pain in the arse to live with but idk why anons are mad you decided to break up with someone you literally weren't in love with.

[Anonymous No.15912325]

>>15909952
>Getting married

[Anonymous No.15912328]

>>15909952
Who cares just eat out, less work and less clean up. I learned how to cook and nobody's impressed and think I'm gonna rape them by inviting them over for a homecooked meal. Apparently being a househusband makes me a cuck so fuck this world.

[Anonymous No.15912343]

>>15912328
>Who cares just eat out
alright mr moneybags

[Anonymous No.15912354]

>>15910048
Shut the fuck up, stop quoting statistics that you don't understand. The majority of divorces come from people who have been divorced before. Stop letting these people who make terrible life decisions influence and scare you into being alone.

[Anonymous No.15912358]

>>15910375
>>15910720
Thank God it's not like this in the UK
Although men here need to step up their game, lots of them are useless

[Anonymous No.15912363]

>>15912354
Lol nobody's scared into being alone, it's just sour grapes cope from people who're already alone

[Anonymous No.15912383]

>>15912089
> "You're Hired."

[Anonymous No.15912421]

Yes but she can only make Russian food, I do the steaks, seafood and Italian stuff (mamas recipes)

[Anonymous No.15912456]

>>15910443
Only a cuckold would think of this disgusting shit when nobody else mentioned it. Watch less porn you normie consumer drone

[Anonymous No.15912460]

>>15912354
>The majority of divorces come from people who have been divorced before.
Lolwut

[Anonymous No.15912464]

>>15910497
>asian pescatarian pussy
Imagine the smell

[Anonymous No.15912480]

>>15910497
Why do nerdy white boys always get with Asians?

[Anonymous No.15912489]

>>15910562
What I don't get is why "men" put up with those things. Every woman can fuck or suck dick, therefore, why not settle when you get one that knows how to homestead properly?

And don't bullshit reply, I'm a man, stop being soyboys and settling for literal feminist whores.

[Anonymous No.15912499]

>>15912354
I'm only 34 and I know like 15 divorced couples my age. My uncle got divorced at like 63 and his ex took fucking everything, he was going to have to work the rest of his life when he was about to retire, all for 50% to go to her.

Sorry, you may be living it up now, but you'll remember this 4chan post one day as she rips away your kids and assets.

>>15912363
lol good luck

[Anonymous No.15912500]

>>15911753
This made me horny

[Anonymous No.15912528]

>>15912499
I forgot to end my story. My uncle swallowed a bullet because of that.

[Anonymous No.15912634]

>>15912528
Damn dude, I'm sorry. Why are women so terrible?

[Anonymous No.15912697]

>>15912489
Homestead is meaningless to me. I'd rather she was attractive and fun. I don't need to play house. I can make my own dinner.

[Anonymous No.15912857]

>>15911604
This. People just need guidance.

[Anonymous No.15912961]

>>15912528
Honestly if I was him I would've just killed her first, and maybe I wouldn't even suicide afterwards because what the fuck are they gonna do if I'm 63 lmao.

>>15912697
I definitely don't need someone worthless whose only charm is her body living in the same house as me and consuming my resources when prostitutes exist. Way cheaper on the long run and you don't have to invest time in the relationship. Some people think about making a family, raising kids right and things like that, ever heard of that?

[Anonymous No.15913030]

>>15912961
Fuck family and fuck kids.

[Anonymous No.15913043]

>>15912961
>Some people think about making a family, raising kids right and things like that, ever heard of that?
I wouldn't want to have children with a plain woman whose best quality is her homemaking skills, I wouldn't do that to them. I will have attractive, intelligent children or I won't have them at all.

[Anonymous No.15913102]

>>15913030
pic related.
>>15913043
Who said she has to be ugly? Intelligent? An intelligent woman wouldn't fall for retarded feminist mainstream hivemind propaganda and spend her life sucking cocks instead of adquiring basic home skills. You're so retarded it hurts.
See for example, Varg Vikernes' wife. Unironically gifted, around 8 kids, knows everything about homesteading, has more academic achievements than you or your future high bodycount wife will ever have, etc.
>inb4 those are rare
But my point still stands, someone whose only good points are her face has shit genetics and is a worthless waste of time and resources, but I'm sure you'd still like it like the cuck you are, you'd be the one making her sandwiches alright.

[Anonymous No.15913118]

>>15910375
The recipe worship does indeed ruin everything.

[Anonymous No.15913479]

>>15913102
>Not wanting to be married is reddit
Marriage is a fool's game.

[Anonymous No.15913567]

>>15909952
My wife can only make scrabbled eggs and she used a recipe the one time I hung around to watch her cook.

In my experience women who cant cook probably have an eating disorder and women who can cook are fat.

[Anonymous No.15913587]

Why the fuck would you marry a woman who can't cook?

[Anonymous No.15913602]

>>15913587
Why the fuck would you get married period?

[Anonymous No.15913620]

>No wife to grope from behind when she's fixing me a meal
Why live brehs

[Anonymous No.15913628]

>>15913620
Don't do it. Living with women for long periods of time isn't worth it.

[Anonymous No.15913667]

>>15913628
Maybe if she's a bitch

[Anonymous No.15913669]

>>15913620
Man, that music video was fucking trippy.

[Anonymous No.15913673]

>>15912499
USA retains archaic alimony laws that were written when women couldn't earn money. Most of us live with modernised laws.

[Anonymous No.15913700]

>>15909952
>She was never taught
literally everyone has at least 3 years of Home Ec at school, dipshit

[Anonymous No.15913705]

>>15913667
She will turn into one eventually.

[Anonymous No.15914172]

>>15912421
>mfw teaching my gf exotic recipes like "chicken stew", "porridge", and fish poached in milk

[Anonymous No.15914252]

>>15911017
Based

[Anonymous No.15914439]

>>15909952
no and realistically i'm going to end up being a stay at home dad because I don't want my son to grow up as your son's daughter.

[Anonymous No.15914487]

>>15909952
My bitch cant cook to save herself, burns shit all the time, or u der cooks the chicken, made butter chixken from jar sauce onw day ... Rice was cruncy, veggies were frozen and chicken under cooked, excuse was she couldnt be bothered, ive forced her to cook more because she doesnt do shit around the house anyway

[Anonymous No.15914493]

>>15909973
Off yourself tranny fuck.

[Anonymous No.15914583]

>>15909952
Decently but never does. I am a much better cook and enjoy it so its not a big deal. She does my laundry and cleans the whole house too so I just focus on cooking. Can't really blame her for her lack of cooking skills though as her mom is a pretty shit cook who doesn't care about food at all. She at least appreciates food though and tries new stuff. Always bitches about stuffing being too spicy tho

[Anonymous No.15915894]

>>15914487
God why are so many of you fags in relationships with people you seem to despise
>>15913620
It's scientifically impossible not to dry hump your gf while they cook

[Anonymous No.15915914]

>>15909973

You're husband sounds like a faggot.

[Anonymous No.15916552]

>>15911017
I genuinely hope she leaves you.