The McRib: King of all Sandwiches

[Anonymous No.15725706]

Christmas Eve, 2013.
I was alone as usual.
I was hungry after getting off work. I had three options: pick up a shitty pizza, eat some cold cereal at home, or swing through the Golden Arches. You all know what I had to do.
It was a holiday after all, so I decided I'd treat myself. No Dollar Menu shit this time (sorry Buffalo Ranch McChicken).
I decide to go inside for some reason, place is empty. The young hispanic girl at the register is pretty cute, nice change of pace. Merry Christmas to me, I thought.
Behind her, the menu caught my eye. Double Quarter Pounder had just gone out the window because there sat the BBQ-drenched sandwich of a better time.
"Welcome to McDonald's, what can I get for you sir?"....
(1)

[Anonymous No.15725709]

..... (2)
I look around, there's no other customers. The based black man is putting fries down. I am a king, this Christmas.
"Yes, hi, I'd like three McRib sandwiches, a large order of French Fries, a large eggnog shake, a bottled water, and four apple pies, please."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, actually. Add on your favorite items, money is no object. Tonight is Christmas Eve, and a meal with you is my present."
She laughs, such a bright smile, I can feel the snow melting off my duster.
"That's romantic, but I'm just 16, and don't have a break coming up anyway."
Ah, another time then, my dear. I wave it off, ask her to make it to-go with the excuse that I don't want to mess up the clean dining room, and wish her a Merry Christmas.

[Anonymous No.15725714]

... (3)
The black man hands me my items as they come up, freshly-made. I thank him in turn and wish him a happy holiday. I tell him to protect little Rosalita there with everything he's got, and he laughs and promises to do so.
I leave $300 on the counter, as a gift.

I made my way through the blizzard then, my mind fixated on that holiday treat. '96 Explorer. Control-Trac. Heater on full blast, but before the heat is up again, I have that tangy sauce all over my face. There are onions on my collar. Salt and grease stains my face as tears fall. Sadness, and joy.
This McRib is so fleeting, I think as I unwrap the second one. Like Christmas joy, or Rosalita's smile, they will be gone again soon. We don't know when they will be back if ever, but we keep hoping.
Eggnog imitation and pickles is a better combination than you'd think. I toss back the fries, filling my empty Christmas with the salty goodness, but I still am empty.
As I dunk my apple pies into the shake, the heat kicks on. The shake becomes nice and soupy. Just my style.

[Anonymous No.15725719]

>>15725706
Are you reciting your McRib diary?

[Anonymous No.15725726]

... (4)
I flip the headlights on, and peer through the frosted window. The hispanic chick and black man are just hanging out, but I can see the joy of receiving a gift in their faces.
I could wipe my face before heading out, but to do so would be to wipe my memories of the McRib and thus my memories of the best Christmas ever.
As I toss my garbage out the window into the snowdrift, Feliz Navidad comes on the radio. This is a scene out of a holiday classic, I can feel it.
Prospero año y felizidad, huh? Rosalita loves this song I bet.
I shout out the open window at all who can hear "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Goodnight!" as I speed away from the BP and feel my AWD engage.
Whatever happens, I'm better prepared for it now.
That, my friends, is what the McRib means to me.

Le End go'o

[Anonymous No.15725735]

>>15725719
You ruined it you piece of shit. You're absolute garbage. Kys you fat retard

[Anonymous No.15725745]

>>15725735
:^(

[Anonymous No.15725750]

>>15725735
fix'd
:^)

[Anonymous No.15725812]

My brother

[Anonymous No.15726053]

>>15725706

THIS is the King of all Sandwiches but for some reason, the assholes who run McDonalds refuse to bring it back!

[Anonymous No.15726233]

>>15726053
Those were awesome

[Anonymous No.15726260]

>>15725706
They sell mcribs in the frozen section of costco

[Anonymous No.15726265]

Every time the mcrib is back I get 2 and eat them both, after taking the pickles off of course.

[Anonymous No.15726268]

>>15726053
>>15726233
Ancient niggas

[Anonymous No.15726335]

>>15726260
Not the same.

[Anonymous No.15726354]

>>15726268
Those were better times son.

[Anonymous No.15726434]

mcrib was awful when i tried it
too much barbecue sauce, boring onions and pickles and a blandish pork slice

[Anonymous No.15726610]

>>15726434
Fuck you nigger. Get the fuck out you piece of human garbage.

[Anonymous No.15727051]

>>15726335
Yes it is try them faggot

[Anonymous No.15727110]

>>15727051
I have retard fuck you nigger they are not even close you dumb faggot.

[Anonymous No.15727456]

>>15727110
Take your meds, schizo.

[Anonymous No.15727474]

>>15725726
amazing story anon!

[Anonymous No.15727475]

>>15726053
Onion nuggets......................

[Anonymous No.15727664]

>>15726610
>>15727110
I know you think your mom's a "bitch" and you're going through a lot but you don't need to take it out on strangers on the web. Your school should have a counselor, see if you can set up an appointment with them to work things out. You can get through this, anon. I believe in you.
McRibs are over-processed garbage that they only sell (in the US) when pork prices drop. Get a Big Mac instead, very good burger.

[Anonymous No.15727672]

>>15727110
They are pretty much the same shit. Just toss some white onions and pickles on the rib, place it in between a hoagie roll, and you got the same exact shit.

[Anonymous No.15728329]

>>15725726
I like you. You are a good person.

[Anonymous No.15728383]

>>15725726
>As I toss my garbage out the window into the snowdrift

Kek not you're problem

[Anonymous No.15728396]

>>15727475
it's basically an onion ring just in the nugget shape

[Anonymous No.15729084]

>>15725706
Hey guys just wanted to apologize for this post. My wife's boyfriends dick was blocking my screen and I accidentally thought this was tumblr. I'm sorry everyone. I'm trans BTW.

[Anonymous No.15729150]

>>15726053
Beautiful pic. Why cant we have those aesthetics anymore?

[Anonymous No.15729168]

>>15725706
It's a classic

[Anonymous No.15729278]

>>15725706
>I was alone as usual.
I know that feel. keep it up dude

[Anonymous No.15729288]

>>15725726
The part about the garbage has ruined my sides

[Anonymous No.15729321]

>>15729084
i dont even care that this is bait, go fuck yourself sideways anon. you can't appreciate a decent story if it hit you in the throat! its not like you have any vivid stories about fast food to tell anyhow so just take a permanent hiatus from your computer

[Anonymous No.15729472]

>>15729084
Its an old as copy pasts. Welcome to /ck/ newfriend

[Anonymous No.15729496]

>>15725706
the dollar tree sells a 'mcrib' sandwich on a ham bun and it taste the same if u add more bbq sauce and pickles nigger

[Anonymous No.15729545]

>>15729496
I will hunt you down and kill you and your entire nigger family, you insignificant worm. I graduated top of my class you pathetic fucking faggot. See ya soon kiddo.

[Anonymous No.15729586]

>>15726053
>GIANT STEAK SAUCE

[Anonymous No.15729587]

>>15729545
You're not anonymous. Law enforcement will read this message.

[Anonymous No.15729593]

>>15729545
i'll never pay $3+ for a mcrib !!

[Anonymous No.15729600]

>>15729593
>>15729587
What the fuck did you just fucking sneed about me, you little bitch? I'll sneed you know I sneeded top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've sneed involved in numerous secret sneeds on Al-Quaeda, and I sneed over 300 confirmed sneeds. I am trained in sneed warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US sneed forces. You sneed nothing to me but just another sneed. I will sneed you the fuck out with sneed the likes of which has never been sneed before on this Earth, sneed my fucking words. You sneed you can get away with sneeding that shit to me over the Internet? Sneed again, fucker. As we sneed I am sneeding my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being sneeded right now so you better sneed for the storm, maggot. The storm that sneeds out the pathetic little thing you sneed your life. You're fucking dead, Chuck. I can sneed anywhere, anytime, and I can sneed you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare sneed. Not only am I extensively sneeded in sneed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Sneed Corps and I will sneed it to its full extent to sneed your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could sneed known what unholy retribution your little "Feed and Seed" comment was about to sneed down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking sneed. But you sneed, you sneed, and now you're paying the sneed, you goddamn idiot. I will shit sneed all over you and you will sneed in it. You're fucking dead, Chuck.

[Anonymous No.15729654]

In Germany the McRib is a standard menu item, you can order it any time of the year.
>land of the free

[Anonymous No.15729694]

>>15725706
God...why is McDonald's so great. Like I never feel sick after eating there. It just tastes American.

[Anonymous No.15729774]

>>15729694
>great
>i never feel sick after eating there
*laughs in french food standards*

[Anonymous No.15730018]

>>15725706
>>15725709
>>15725714
>>15725726
Still my favorite pasta. The prose is great and makes it seem genuine, truly puts me in the setting

[Anonymous No.15730656]

>"Yes, actually. Add on your favorite items, money is no object. Tonight is Christmas Eve, and a meal with you is my present."
>She laughs, such a bright smile, I can feel the snow melting off my duster.
this made me deeply uncomfortable. probably my autism

[Anonymous No.15730726]

>>15725706
im posting this on reddit

[Anonymous No.15732199]

>>15725706
>merry christmas to me
Cant believe you got me so early

[Anonymous No.15732537]

>>15729587
Do you really not know of the most notorious copy pasta there is? Are you 12 years old or straight up retarded?

[Anonymous No.15732690]

>>15725706
>>15725709
>>15725714
>>15725726
Never in my life have I witnessed such unrelenting faggotry. Well done.

[Anonymous No.15732863]

>>15732690
Hello newfriend! Welcome to 4chan I hope your stay is pleasant.