Nonsensical Foods

[Anonymous No.15593692]

Have you ever seen a food that defies all explanation? That just doesn't make sense and makes you confused?

[Anonymous No.15593703]

>>15593692
Tiger nut flour, cassava starch, eggs, high oleic sunflower oil, coconut flour.

All the things every caveman could get at his local caveman grocery store.

[Anonymous No.15593714]

>>15593692
almond "milk"

[Anonymous No.15593721]

>>15593714
Apparently "Nut Juice" didn't test well.

[Anonymous No.15593726]

>>15593692
vegans making plants look like meat.

[Anonymous No.15593735]

>>15593692
things that would NEVER have gluten in them, marked gluten free.

[Anonymous No.15593737]

>>15593726
Yo why is my sausage in that package?

[Anonymous No.15593747]

>>15593735
I kind of get this, because retard fad chasers don't even know what a gluten is.

[Anonymous No.15593755]

>>15593735
that might be because a lot of meat has an added solution that could potentially contain gluten

[Anonymous No.15593759]

>>15593755
like what?

[Anonymous No.15593764]

>>15593755
why would brine contain wheat?

[Anonymous No.15593766]

>>15593703
Not to mention paleo is a stupid diet to begin with.

[Anonymous No.15593774]

There was a fad a couple years ago where idiots would open a bag of chips, dump some meat and cheese inside, and call it "walking tacos"

that's not tacos, that's nachos with extra steps.

[Anonymous No.15593785]

>>15593755
here is a list of allowed additives in meat:
https://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/portal/fsis/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/food-labeling/additives-in-meat-and-poultry-products/additives-in-meat-and-poultry-products

no gluten there.

[Anonymous No.15593789]

>>15593774
Mexicans do this because the nacho cheese is free at 7-11

[Anonymous No.15593793]

>>15593774

[Anonymous No.15593794]

OP are you confused by all half-n-half? Or is the “30% more cream” triggering your autism because they didn’t change it to “65-n-35”?

[Anonymous No.15593797]

>>15593692
>Ultra pasteurized
Yuck

[Anonymous No.15593799]

>>15593794
It's not autism, it's literally not half and half.

[Anonymous No.15593804]

>>15593703
Is it just eggs?

[Anonymous No.15593816]

>>15593735
>>15593747
I was working in a grocery store a few years back. In the process of straightening the organic aisle, I found bottled water that proudly declared its gluten-free status.

[Anonymous No.15593821]

>>15593794
it would be 80% 20%

[Anonymous No.15593836]

Who thinks of this shit?

[Anonymous No.15593850]

>>15593836
7 up cake has been a southern dessert for like 50 years

[Anonymous No.15593853]

>>15593836
Midwesterners.

[Anonymous No.15593862]

>>15593726

[Anonymous No.15593881]

>>15593862
>take a slab of tofu and let it absorb smoke for 18 hours
this nigga is gonna get cancer immediately

[Anonymous No.15593894]

>>15593836
>sugar
>lemon
>lime
>in a cake

Disgusting

[Anonymous No.15593906]

>>15593821
It would (presumably) be 50% cream.
30% of 50% is 15%, so 30% more of something that’s only 50 would be 65.

Same as if something is clearanced at 50% off, and the store gets desperate and says “take an additional 50% off clearance”, that wouldn’t make the item free.

[Anonymous No.15593915]

>>15593862
>Plus I don't feel gross after eating it

Right... you feel gross while you're eating it. Much better.

[Anonymous No.15593918]

>>15593836
Lemon Lime cake owns. But 7 dollars? suck my cock.

[Anonymous No.15593922]

Once I was at my girlfriend's house and her family had a gallon of 0% milk. At first I thought it was just a dumb way to say skim milk but apparently it has even LESS fat than skim milk. Basically water at that point.

[Anonymous No.15593924]

>>15593862
Why do vegans feel compelled to imitate meat?

[Anonymous No.15593938]

>>15593924
because they know meat tastes amazing

[Anonymous No.15593950]

>>15593759
>>15593764
I don't know why but it can contain food starch and/or modified food starch which may contain wheat though the vast majority of food starch does not. Maybe the slideshow will explain why.
>>15593785
food starch and modified food starch are both allowed additives
Here is a slideshow demonstrating some of the marinades with food starch in them.
https://meatscience.org/docs/default-source/publications-resources/rmc/2004/brining-and-marination---functional-ingredients(2).pdf?sfvrsn=2

[Anonymous No.15593964]

>>15593924
For the same reasons pedos buy loli sexdolls. They want the experience without the moral aspect.

[Anonymous No.15593998]

>>15593764
This slide lists the reasons for adding starches.

[Anonymous No.15594033]

Do brits really do this?

[Anonymous No.15594046]

>>15593735
Why not?
If you mark yours gluten free, and your competitor doesn’t (even if it is), and some idiot wants to buy gluten free shit, guess which they’ll grab?

[Anonymous No.15594078]

>Half and half but 30% more
So it's 80-20? 65-35?

[Anonymous No.15594089]

>>15594078
30% more than 50% is 65%. Jesus fuck I didn't think I'd have to explain basic math to people on this board.

[Anonymous No.15594124]

>>15594089
That's what I said, asshole.

[Anonymous No.15594126]

>>15594124
No, you asked because you didn't know. Stop trying to backtrack you braindead weeb.

[Anonymous No.15594146]

>>15594089
>30% more than 50% is 65%
No, 30% more than 50% is 80%. 30% more of 50% is 65%.

[Anonymous No.15594158]

>>15594078
>>15594089
Check the ingredients for it

>INGREDIENTS: Milk, Cream, Contains Less than 0.5% of the Following: Sodium Citrate and Disodium Phosphate (Stops Cream from Separating in Hot Liquid).Jan 24, 2020

[Anonymous No.15594176]

>>15594033
what the FUCK is that??

[Anonymous No.15594181]

>>15594158
>supposed to be half and half but with more cream
>milk is first ingredient meaning there's more of it than there is cream
Is half & half a lie?

[Anonymous No.15594244]

I don't know if this is still in effect, but the FDA did allow food manufacturers to change the ingredients without listing them in the summer.
https://www.verywellhealth.com/fda-food-label-flexibility-covid-19-4846801

[Anonymous No.15594267]

>>15594181
I'm sure the USDA and FDA have some convoluted answer on what is legally allowed to be called Half&half here in the US.

I think if you buy this junk, your just paying for packaging, vs regular half&half . But whada I know?

[Anonymous No.15594277]

>>15593906
At least there’s someone around here who understands math

[Anonymous No.15594303]

>>15594181
It's kind of a lie. Half and half is never 50% fat, so rarely 50% cream. It's usually in the 10% range, 5% if it's "Light" half and half. 50% more cream would probably land that in the 12-15% fat range, leaving room for an 18-ish% table cream.

[Anonymous No.15594312]

>>15594176
British cuisine

[Anonymous No.15594314]

>>15594244
>The glorious chicanery of Trump's America
Even the food labels were lies. Clown world.

[Anonymous No.15594339]

>>15593774
that's not a fag, nigger, that's a ballpark staple

[Anonymous No.15594361]

>>15594181
this feels like blatantly false advertising

[Anonymous No.15594375]

>>15594033
>smack barm wi deh pea wet
brits conquered half the fucking world for spices and yet they use peas as a condiment

[Anonymous No.15594413]

>>15593836
it's a lemon-lime meringue pie, the 7.up branding is marketing bullshit like the bon appetite youtube show where they remake popular store bought snacks that people used to post here all the time.

[Anonymous No.15594419]

>>15594413
that's not a pie at all, though. it's a cake. there's not meringue to be seen, either.

[Anonymous No.15594422]

>>15594413
It's just a lemon drizzle cake for degenerates

[Anonymous No.15594457]

>>15593836
At least it's not 7$.
Quite a steal for the brand

[Anonymous No.15594460]

>>15594314
>FDA regulations are orange man's fault
You people are fucking demented. All of this shit has been this way your entire life, you were just uninformed.

[Anonymous No.15594493]

[Anonymous No.15594504]

>>15594460
Yes, they are. And no, it hasn't been. You're delusional. Deregulating the ingredients labels on food is insane. Enjoy your soy, trans fats, and corn syrup.

[Anonymous No.15594515]

>>15593964
wtf I love vegans now

[Anonymous No.15594526]

>>15594046
This. It's degenerate amoral behavior, but that's what gets you ahead in the business world. But it's taking advantage of degenerate stupids, so nothing's really lost.

[Anonymous No.15594529]

>>15594457
Shits awesome with a scoop of vanilla.

Cake so soft and moist, you wanna put your dick in it

[Anonymous No.15594532]

>>15594526
>degenerate
Can you stop using this word as a substitute for "thing I don't like"?

[Anonymous No.15594539]

>>15593721
its even better than that, its basically almond "cold brew" ie almonds that have been steeped in water for a few days

[Anonymous No.15594576]

>>15593862
Eh, I'd try it.

[Anonymous No.15594594]

>>15594460
food was recalled frequently for undisclosed ingredients

[Anonymous No.15595703]

>>15593714
>>15593721
people say this often like it's a modern invention, but almond milk has been around since medieval times and was called "almond milk". Whatever your feelings are on how icky it is or how dissimilar it is to dairy, it has historical precedent.

[Anonymous No.15595865]

>>15594181
>>15594267
>>15594303
>>15594361
Half & half, like all other dairy products, is legally defined by fat content, not proportion of ingredients. If the product contains 10.5-18% fat content it can be called half-and-half. To illustrate, if I take 16 ounces of whole milk (minimum fat content 3.25%) and mix it with 16 ounces of heavy cream (minimum fat content 36%), the end result (19.62% fat content) is light cream - legally defined as containing between 18-30% butterfat.

[Anonymous No.15595899]

>>15594515
kek

[Anonymous No.15595914]

>>15593692
shouldn't that be four fifths and one fifth then?

[Anonymous No.15596057]

>>15595914
0.5 * 1.3 is 0.65 so it's more like "2 thirds & third"

[Anonymous No.15596060]

>>15596057
>>15595914
Er wait. If you normally had 1 part cream 1 part milk, you'd make it 1.3 parts cream and 1 part milk. And 1.3 / 2.3 (total) is 0.57

[Anonymous No.15596080]

>>15593793
???????????????

[Anonymous No.15596081]

>>15594493
Not so much any more but I used to love this shit as a kid

[Anonymous No.15596094]

>>15593793
Bro you trying to make me hungry again at 1AM?

[Anonymous No.15596106]

[Anonymous No.15596117]

>>15593726
>spend billions of dollars every year trying to simulate meat because you'd rather pump yourself full of chemicals and hormones than go a day without it
>"you're just addicted to meat lmao"
veganism is a mental illness

[Anonymous No.15596122]

>>15593726
looks like a flaccid dick, lol.

[Anonymous No.15596193]

vegan label on fruit juice

[Anonymous No.15596378]

>>15593793
Mexico is America's fault though

[Anonymous No.15596415]

>>15596378
>No, it's America's fault for me topping a bag of Doritos with tamarind candy, japon peanuts, cueritos, cojita, jicima, chamoy and taijin
That's some Euro-tier obsession.

[Anonymous No.15596454]

>>15593881
Literally not a piece of tofu in it.
I'm not mentally ill (vegetarian/vegan), but the science of making meat substitutes fascinates me from technical perspective.

[Anonymous No.15596466]

>>15593703
I make "paleo" waffles with roasted squash and eggs with the whites whipped and folded in, sometimes added chickepea flour. They are very good.

[Anonymous No.15596843]

>>15593794
>>15593821
>65-n-35
>80-n-20
What's with all these fucking brainlets on this board?
If there's 30% more cream, you have 130% as much cream in it as before and 100% as much milk. 130*0.5+100*0.5=65+50=115 => 65/115=56.5% cream.
It should be 57-n-43 if anything.

[Anonymous No.15597080]

>>15596415
Every existential threat to humanity (climate change, pollution, capitalism) is a result of America's destructive and warmongering ways.

[Anonymous No.15597148]

>>15596843
Somebody here gets it

[Anonymous No.15597308]

>>15596843
My favourite part is that it has very little to do with the final product's fat content / what the final product actually is. Is the milk skimmed? Is the cream 36% fat? Half and half and a bit doesn't mean much. 15% fat half and half would be a bit heavy, but 18% would make it "Table cream" here, which I think still qualifies as a green vegetable in the UK. The coffee cream I was using over there qualifies as whipping cream here.

[Anonymous No.15597325]

>>15593836
you shut your whore mouths. this is the best cake

[Anonymous No.15597329]

>>15593692
The injun is still there?

[Anonymous No.15597365]

>>15597329
The date up top looks like 26 Feb 2004.

[Anonymous No.15598292]

[Anonymous No.15598310]

>>15593906
wherein does the term "Half-&-Half" refer in any explicit way that it has to be 50% cream?

[Anonymous No.15598312]

>>15593998
>increases yield
what a nice way to say rips off customer

[Anonymous No.15598327]

>>15596193
can sometimes use gelatin or isinglass clarification products which come from animals and fish respectively

[Anonymous No.15598355]

>>15598292
what the FUCK

[Anonymous No.15598897]

>>15593692
Calm down it's just 80% milk

[asadboi.jpg No.15598975]

>>15594033
britbong here and I have never seen this in my life, ever. It must be a minority degenerate thing.

[Anonymous No.15599124]

>>15598292
surprisingly wholesome
https://youtu.be/87qSlGk7GUc

[Anonymous No.15599234]

>>15594033
>>15598975
>Zoomers never seen the Fast Show

[Anonymous No.15599411]

>>15598292
I used to see this every now and again when I was a kid growing up in Wisconsin. My family would drive out to this lake sometimes and we would always stop for groceries like chips/burger stuff/pop at this same weird grocery store that was kinda like an oversized gas station. very much like a fever dream, half the lights didnt work, the ceilings were super low, shelves that weren't stocked well. They had a deli/butcher where my parents would get burger patties and I remember seeing this stuff and that olive loaf stuff with all the other food in the case. I've always associated them with really old people, because basically all the people I ever saw there were super old. This would've been between 1999-04 or so.

[Anonymous No.15599434]

How can they get away with this?

[Anonymous No.15599452]

>>15599434
Anyone who would be offended by it can't afford it.

[Chuds McKenzie !qS.ykfLMGs No.15599522]

>>15599434
Peak boom-boom shit

Ingredients
>Skim Milk, Corn Syrup, Cream*, Contains Less than 0.5% of: Carrageenan, Sodium Citrate, Dipotassium Phosphate, Mono and Diglycerides*, Vitamin A Palmitate, Color Added (Ingredient Not in Regular Half & Half). *Adds a Trivial Amount of Fat.

[asadboi.jpg No.15599525]

>>15599452
Anyone who would buy it is a dumb fucking cunt.

[Anonymous No.15599534]

>>15599525
Dumb cunts and their coin are so soon parted.

[Anonymous No.15599570]

>>15593726

[Anonymous No.15599702]

>>15594046
>guess which they’ll grab?
parsley? because if they are too stupid to realize that gluten is harmless to all but a very few people, they are too stupid to get what they were originally looking for.

[Anonymous No.15599739]

>>15593726
Who's behind this? Could it be...seitan?

[Anonymous No.15599796]

>>15594526
>smart, harmless marketing is degenerate and amoral
>people looking for gluten free shit are degenerates
Jesus Christ man. What a warped view of the world you have.

[Anonymous No.15599820]

>>15599796
>People looking for gluten free shit are degenerates
If they don't have coeliac disease, then yes. Yes they are.
>Smart, harmless marketing is degenerate and amoral
If the advertising is actually both, then yes. Pointlessly taking advantage of the fear of gluten to raise prices is neither.

[Anonymous No.15599830]

>>15593703
Uh sweetie, cavemen don't exist and evolution is a lie.

THIS is the meal you need.

[Anonymous No.15599865]

>>15593793
Wait...

He poured juice on top of it?

[Anonymous No.15599879]

>>15599434
>>15593692
>Land Lakes
Weren't they going to do away with this ''''culturally insensitive'''' packaging alongside Aunt Jamima?
t. britbong asking a serious question.

[Chuds McKenzie !qS.ykfLMGs No.15599953]

>>15599879
Theres an O in the middle

Land of Lakes=Land o' lakes

[Anonymous No.15599972]

>>15599879
They have, on the butter at least. Cream lasts forever though.

[Anonymous No.15600029]

>>15599953
pretty sure it's land of lakes

[Anonymous No.15600046]

>>15599820
Someone not eating gluten if they don't have coeliac disease is pointless, but it's not degeneracy. Furthermore, while corporations are nearly universally amoral entities, amoral here not meaning immoral, pointing out that they their product is is gluten-free is not degenerate or even bad. A company sees that people are consciously buying things that have no gluten in them and they market their products to meet the demands of what customers are looking for. It's not fear mongering to do so and the responsibility falls entirely on the person, not the corporation, to educate themselves on what gluten is and who it matters to in the first place. Degenerate is a pretty strong word and you'd do well not to overuse it to the point of meaninglessness.

[Anonymous No.15600130]

>>15599879
Yep, in an effort to appear non racist they took away the Native American lady (note that last time they redid their logo LoL had hired a Native American artist to make sure she was authentically drawn) but kept all the land.

[Anonymous No.15600142]

>>15600130
>White people removing a Native American from The Land

There's a joke here, but I'm struggling to find it.

[Anonymous No.15600198]

>>15594314
He's out of office now, nobody's paying you to say these things anymore

[Anonymous No.15600371]

>>15594532
I use it as per its definition.
>>15600046
It's degeneracy because it's willfully propogating misinformation. It's the exact same thing as propaganda, except instead of votes, they do it for profits. Anybody willfully making society more ignorant for self interest is a degenerate and belongs on a cross.

[Anonymous No.15600376]

>>15600371
Just shut the fuck up with your favorite buzz word already, no one gives a shit.

[Anonymous No.15600386]

>fat free sour cream
It should be called sour skimmed milk.

[Anonymous No.15600440]

>>15600130
>but kept all the land
My fukken sides are in orbit

[Anonymous No.15600671]

>>15596106
I'd eat two of them if I were homeless

[Anonymous No.15601311]

>>15594089
the /sci/ spoonfeeder
>>15594146
the /his/tory maker

[Anonymous No.15601327]

>>15596106
>christmas dinner in a tinner
>and you know I'm not thinner after a tinner
>you're not thinner after a tinner
>tinner thinner tinner thinner tinner thinner

[Anonymous No.15601336]

>>15600386
>0% mofos
Exactly the way is should be.

[Anonymous No.15602000]

>>15599124
>Americans

Not surprised

[Anonymous No.15602006]

>>15599411
i hate when people say fever dream now, it just sounds so cringe

[Anonymous No.15602053]

>>15593692
to many words in this thread, not enough pictures

[Anonymous No.15602119]

>>15599124
I need to move to wisconsin

[Anonymous No.15603212]

>>15597329
no, dat was racist. their packaging looks so plain now

[Anonymous No.15603238]

>>15596106
Winner! Winner!

[Anonymous No.15603277]

>>15593714
You gonna complain about peanut butter as well?

[Anonymous No.15603307]

>>15593836
that sounds pretty good bro, sounds like the typical midwestern housewife dessert

[Anonymous No.15603317]

>>15594146
this dude was a wiz at word problems as a kid I guarantee it.

[Anonymous No.15603329]

>>15596106
first thought
>I'd be willing to try one bite of this
notices its vegan
>nevermind

[Anonymous No.15603332]

>>15601327
this is the autism I come here for

[Anonymous No.15603343]

>>15598310
that's what it means

[Anonymous No.15603344]

>>15593726
fake, I know a garloid when I see one

[Anonymous No.15603350]

>>15599234
...i think it's time to go how now, jonny

[Anonymous No.15603355]

>>15599522
>cream*
>*adds a trivial amount of fat
t-thats, what..

[Anonymous No.15603365]

>>15600130
no fucking way lol
not only is this clown world but it goes in full circles and its amusing as fuck

its a circus world!

[Anonymous No.15603373]

>>15599830
damn that sounds pretty good, and healthy to boot. Idk shit about the bible but sounds like they had good granola bars back then

[Anonymous No.15603376]

>>15598975
it might be degenerate, but there's no way the mind that conceived "squeezable cheesy peas" was anything other than the blighty-spawned eternal anglo himself.

[Anonymous No.15603396]

>>15598310
That’s what fucking “Half and Half” means you ESL retard. It’s not even just a term of endearment it’s literally SUPPOSED TO BE half and half of each

[Anonymous No.15603425]

>>15597080
>Climate Change is natural
>Pollution is lead by degenerate Asian countries and large scale pollution started by the BRI’ ISH industrial revolution
>Capitalism bad, now give me free money and send this man and his 7 year old son and pregnant wife who didn’t vote for the man I voted for in the proxy election to a work gulag

[Anonymous No.15603455]

>>15599879
>get rid of all non-white mascots
>all mascots are now white
>hooray, we ended racism!
this is true, but probably not in the way that they intended it to be

[Anonymous No.15603470]

>>15603396
50% cream and 50% what else
You act like this is so fucking obvious when its not.
Also what type of cream is the first 50%?

[Anonymous No.15603480]

>>15603470
Half whole milk and half heavy cream Jesus fucking Christ why are you arguing about shit you don’t even know? Get off the internet and open a book, clown

[Anonymous No.15603484]

>>15600142
>>White people removing a Native American from The Land
>There's a joke here, but I'm struggling to find it.
Because a joke isn't needed, it is so on the nose that the joke itself is exactly what happened.

[Anonymous No.15603487]

>>15603470
You can easily Google what it is retard. Not everyone is as braindead as you are

[Anonymous No.15603492]

>>15603480
Okay, as already discussed in the thread, heavy cream isn't a set percentage of milkfat. You are being autistic about this and getting mad at people who don't have autism like you.

[Anonymous No.15603509]

>>15603487
>google it
So what would google say?
That there is an acceptable (fairly wide) range of milkfat in products that can be called half and half. The picture that OP posted is just indicating that it is on the higher end of the acceptable range. There is literally nothing wrong with this.

[Anonymous No.15603511]

[Anonymous No.15603515]

>>15593692
I'm just glad they kept the injun with the fat tits on the carton

[Anonymous No.15603516]

>>15593714
better than regular milk. actually has more calcium and lasts longer

[Anonymous No.15603540]

>>15603511
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[Anonymous No.15603687]

>>15603511
It tastes like aunt jemima with blue food coloring added. I hate it. The bitter food dye taste is nasty.

[Anonymous No.15603723]

>>15599830
What is the problem here? That sounds great and has a solid marketing tie in with the best selling book of all time! The name needs some work, maybe something a little catchier. A lot of people in the US associate Christian food products with quality. Ezekiel 4:9 bread is very good and quite popular (even among heathens and godless degenerates) and overtly Christian. Mt Olive pickles are maybe a little more subtle but they do have a cross right in the logo and they have over 75% of the market share for pickles in the south eastern US . Plenty of other brands and products have subtle and not so subtle nods to Christian faith and are in my experience usually pretty good.

[Anonymous No.15603800]

>>15603425
How are your Exxon shares doing, Schlomo?

[Anonymous No.15603900]

>>15603511
isn't blue food dye like especially bad for you

also the formatting on that label is giving me brain aids, who the fuck designed that they need to go back to school

[Anonymous No.15603932]

>>15599434
I saw this in the market not too long ago and it caught me so off guard I had to look into it.
They essentially take skim milk and thicken it with chemical solutions and corn syrup. Artificially thickened milk water.
It's the epitome of fake food and the fact that they can legally print "half and half" on it is frightening.

Nobody in their right mind would touch this with a 10 foot pole, and anyone who willingly puts it into their bodies isn't going to be around for very long.

[Anonymous No.15604015]

>>15603900
However bad blue dye is, refined sugar is 1000x worse.

[Anonymous No.15604119]

>>15597329
No. We got rid of her but kept the land.

[Anonymous No.15604748]

>>15593692
3yrs ago.
I wonder if anyone bought it..
>crayons

[Anonymous No.15604869]

>>15593735
>>15593747
>>15593755
>>15593759
>>15593764
>>15593785
>HYDROLYZED (SOURCE) PROTEIN - flavor enhancers that can be used in meat and poultry products. They are made from protein obtained from a plant source such as soy or wheat
Yes, they do put gluten in meat sometimes. No, it doesn't make any sense. It makes like with celiac disease fucking suck though. Gluten is cheap as fuck and they put it in everything.

[Anonymous No.15604934]

>>15603516
>and lasts longer
just like your wife's bull

[Anonymous No.15604952]

>>15600130
>took away the Native American lady but kept all the land
holy shit my sides
thank you anon

[Anonymous No.15604955]

>>15593793
I want to know what all of the things are.

[Anonymous No.15605004]

>>15594146
So this is the true power of the American education system...

[Anonymous No.15605033]

>>15593703
>no grains
How are grains not paleo friendly? Paleolithic humans still ate grains and in far greater quantities than tiger nut flour, coconut flour, cassava starch, and sunflower oil. All of those are processed foods that could only be found in specific geographic areas, but grains were and are grown all over the fucking globe.

>>15593766
>Not to mention paleo is a stupid diet to begin with.
True. Just like keto, Atkins, and pretty much any other fad diet. Just don't gorge on junk food, every day, and be moderately active.

[Anonymous No.15605073]

>>15605033

tiger nuts are native to europe, cassava is native to south america, coconuts are native to the south pacific, sunflowers are native to the southern part of america and weren't cultivated till about 2200 years ago, so no caveman could have put this together.

many of the ingredients didn't exist or were only available in places where people may not have been.

paleo is a ridiculous diet 95% of foods in a grocery store are not paleo.

grains weren't cultivated by anyone until the end of the paleolithic.

all that is, is a bandwagon food.

[Anonymous No.15605090]

>>15594493
Isn't that just peanutbutter?

[Anonymous No.15605627]

>>15603723
No problem, that's why I posted it as a better option.

[Anonymous No.15605659]

>>15593726
most sausage substitutes are perfectly tasty. I'm not even vegetarian

[Anonymous No.15605981]

>>15600376
>t. braindead consoomer

[Anonymous No.15606096]

>>15593726

[Anonymous No.15606103]

>>15593726
If you were going vegan, why the fuck would you eat processed foods? There are sure to be ground up bits of cockroaches and mexican fingernails in there.

[Anonymous No.15606113]

>>15606103
Most people go vegan to virtue signal and feel better about themselves without actually doing anything.

For example, I was grossed out by industrial agriculture, so I grow my own crops and raise my own livestock. Which is the correct way to go about it.

Vegans do not grow shit. Maybe 10% of them grow herbs and tomatoes and their plants are sickly and don't yield as well as mine because mine use duck shit and reject eggs and they use miracle grow.

[Anonymous No.15606121]

>>15593692
I'd nut deep in her indigenous cooch if you know what I mean

[Anonymous No.15606617]

>>15606121
I don't follow.

[Anonymous No.15606621]

>>15603900
>also the formatting on that label is giving me brain aids, who the fuck designed that they need to go back to school
No, they went to school, the first thing you see is OCEAN BLUE and MAPLE so the mind associates it with BLUE MAPLE SYRUP despite not being maple syrup hence the Artificially Maple Flavored.

[Anonymous No.15606693]

bubble bill

[Anonymous No.15606947]

>>15599879
I’m glad they’re gone. Why should my house be sullied with non-white faces?

[Anonymous No.15607330]

>>15599830
as a caveman, I feel offended...

[Anonymous No.15608299]

>>15599865
Sure, why not? Any liquid will do!

[Anonymous No.15609703]

>>15599830
>Deut 8:8
Here's Deut 8:6-9
Observe the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to him and revering him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills;a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.

[Anonymous No.15609740]

>>15603723
I can never get behind Ezekiel bread after reading the entire 4th chapter.

It strikes me as though trivialising and marketing the stuff as a health food is missing the point of God telling Ezekiel to make and eat it.

[Anonymous No.15609757]

>>15606947
You never have guests anyway so it doesn't really make a difference

[Anonymous No.15609759]

>>15594078
mo...

[Anonymous No.15609785]

>>15609703
And religion, like the monster that it is
Keeps telling you to turn the other cheek
God is on your side, but I don't think that you're on his,
If Jesus showed up now he'd be in jail by next week,
>Lemmy 20:02

[Anonymous No.15609855]

>>15609785
People conveniently forget that Jesus also told his followers to watch their backs and just walk into danger

[Anonymous No.15610045]

>>15604955
tater chips, chopped jicama, japanese peanuts, tamarind/chili candy, not sure about the red discs might be more tamarind candy, chamoy soaked salted dried plums, a splash of Maggi(mexican soy sauce), more chamoy sauce, mexican hot sauce like Valentina, Tajin powder, salt, lemon juice, another hot sauce, and some clamato.
I had one with most of that stuff with added pickled pork skin as well, it's all these different textures mixed with sour,salty & spicy.

[Anonymous No.15610317]

>>15597080
I blame the brits

[Anonymous No.15610478]

>>15593692
>ULTRA-PASTEURIZED

[Anonymous No.15610481]

>>15599739
Sorta, honestly just google the companies and the last names. You'll get your answer.

[Anonymous No.15610516]

>>15594532
Smooth brain is completely ok with "amoral behavior" but he somehow considers "degenerate" a useless word.
Very nice post friend.

[Anonymous No.15610527]

>>15593735
Sometimes they add a brine with gluten in it

[Anonymous No.15611431]

>>15606113
Hey, the duck guy again. You’re becoming a minor /ck/ celebrity.

[Anonymous No.15611605]

>>15599570
lol

[Anonymous No.15611620]

>>15609703
Sounds like a good deal to me bro

[Anonymous No.15612356]

>>15610516
Who said it was useless? Who are you quoting?

[Anonymous No.15612395]

>>15593964
Best post I read today. I will steal that and go to bed in peace now. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.15612402]

>>15594078
Despite being 50%...

[Anonymous No.15612417]

>>15597080
Nigger what the hell do you think the Soivets were doing to the planet? Do you think their tanks and trucks ran on fairydust? How about the puddle formally known as the Aral sea.

[Anonymous No.15612513]

doesn't really qualify as defying explanation, because there is an explanation for this: it's for the sake of being incredibly cheap, but it did completely catch me off guard because it doesn't make any sense.

these enchiladas are filled with fuckin rice and corn. if there's anything else in there it's undetectable, which is what i can also say for the chicken. there's barely any meat in there. the "2x chicken" boast is bullshit. i looked around online and they got a bunch of really bad feedback on this product in the past and just changed the style of the box so us retards who are too lazy to make our own shit would buy it again. they didn't change shit. it's got an insane bake time of like 70 mins for how disappointingly shit it is as well. the tortillas are really poor quality and bland so it cooks into a slopass mess that's no longer enchiladas, just a chunky tossed salad of its initial ingredients. may as well introduce a spoon to the plate.

this is in brutal honestly nothing like any enchilada i've ever ate in my life, and the worst excuse of a food product i've ever experienced. i expected just tortillas filled with chunks of chicken and enchilada sauce and cheese sprinkled on top. it's that simple. you don't add filler crap like this. nobody does this. what the fuck?

i do appreciate they're open enough to let you literally roast this piece of junk on their official website though.

[Anonymous No.15612516]

>>15612513
>The Chicken Enchilada Standard

After what battle was this created?

[Anonymous No.15612519]

>>15606096
MMMM TURDS

[Anonymous No.15612520]

>>15600386
That's not fat free sour cream though.
It's fat free sour cream product. Anything that has product after the name is some synthetic concoction baring almost no resemblance to what it's aping. This is known.

[Anonymous No.15612539]

>>15612513
Yeah that shit is garbage, but for some reason my mom would buy it fairly often. Only way to salvage it is add a bunch of shit. Sour cream, better cheese, bunch of salsa or hotsauce. Really needs some fucking meat though but then you might as well just keep all the shit your adding and ditch the pointless "enchiladas".

[Anonymous No.15612543]

>>15593726
Garloids.

[Anonymous No.15612553]

>>15593836
No, 7-up cake is actually a thing. I thought it was some horse shit store branding scheme and then I visited Georgia.

Baking with soft drinks has been a fad for decades, mainly in the southern US.

[Anonymous No.15612563]

>>15593692
OP I used to buy half and half and run it through a small centrifuge to separate the cream because it was cheaper than buying heavy cream. The brands varied rather wildly. At least a few years back Producers half and half had the most cream in it in my perfectly scientific opinion.

[Anonymous No.15612570]

>>15612563
This is a special kind of autism that I'm not sure I can even be mad at.

[Anonymous No.15612574]

>>15603723
Mt Olive pickles is religious?

[Anonymous No.15612578]

>>15612570
Look my grandmother had a small dairy ranch and I inherited a vintage centrifuge.

[Anonymous No.15612599]

>>15612578
If you sold the centrifuge, how many years of cream would that buy you?

[Anonymous No.15612601]

>>15612516
as funny as that sounds it comes off as extremely vapid throwing it on the face of the product and it made me dive into it deeper.

to be clear, this line is referring to the USDA's minimum allowed requirement of 15% meat to be inside of what you're calling an "enchilada" when you use that word to describe the product. the USDA is fuckin wrong on this one. in my life experience an enchilada is at least 85% meat, the rest is sauce. to be twice the minimum means that Stouffer's is claiming these to be 30% meat yet in my experience it was really not. imagine you went to chipotle and ordered a burrito. they grab you the stalest tortilla possible, they throw that big portion of rice on it first, then sprinkle some corn in it. when asked for chicken they sprinkle 4 little pieces of that chicken into your burrito and tried to call that a burrito that comes with "two times the amount of meat than the burrito standard!!!"

like i said i found out in original post, they got fucking flamed for this consistently when it came out, so they changed the box and recipe, but it really may be the case that their manufacturers don't actually follow the new recipe, because shit still has no chicken.

works cited:
this old as fuck USDA requirement booklet from 1981 https://naldc.nal.usda.gov/download/CAT87213652/PDF
pic related what bullshit actually looks like
all the reviews roasting them on their website informing me with proof that this product used to be much different but they made them cheaper while at the same time claiming to be fuller with premium ingredients: https://www.goodnes.com/stouffers/products/chicken-enchiladas-party-size/

ps: yes i am mad fuck you stouffer's

[Anonymous No.15612662]

>>15612601
>in my life experience an enchilada is at least 85% meat, the rest is sauce.
That sounds like way too much to me. The real answer lies somewhere between you two.

[Anonymous No.15612679]

>>15612662
In my experience the filling of an enchilada is either entirely meat, or meat and some cheese. Never had rice and corn in an enchilada outside of that frozen shit.

[Anonymous No.15613975]

>>15612417
Russia paid for its sins with societal collapse and a corrupt oligarchy run by billionaires.
America is starting to cash in its bad karma with the latter. The former is not far off.

[Anonymous No.15614015]

>>15612601
Quality spergpost

[Anonymous No.15614022]

>>15593836
The Dr. Pepper version doesn't even taste anything like the soda and it upsets me.

[Anonymous No.15614041]

>>15612679
this is correct. Real enchiladas don't have fillers like rice or beans, just whatever goes into the meat (like, there might be potatoes if they use picadillo as the meat filling, and that might go under 85% meat, but it's still just tortilla, meat-based filling or cheese, then gravy and cheese on top)

[Anonymous No.15614043]

>>15612599
lmfao this guy makes a good point

[Anonymous No.15614096]

>>15603373
>healthy
>grains, high sugar fruit, pure sugar

[Anonymous No.15614102]

>>15614096
there is nothing wrong with grains and I cant see the nutritional information so I have no reason to assume it's just loaded with sugar. Not really surprising if it is however. Also natural sugars from fruit =/= refined sugars

[Anonymous No.15614111]

>>15614096
Everything you need to survive the harsh bronze age middle east senpai

[Anonymous No.15614205]

>>15614102
>there is nothing wrong with grains
Four thousand years of recorded history how gain-fed populations are weak and effeminate would disagree with you.

[Anonymous No.15614238]

>>15614205
Christ you sound insufferable IRL

[Anonymous No.15614303]

>>15600130
>>15604119
Incredibly based. They're so woke they're doing our work for us. Erasure has never been so easy.

[Anonymous No.15616032]

>>15614238
He saw some meme about how Mongols only ate meat and that's why Genghis Khan conquered half the known world.

[Anonymous No.15616884]

[Anonymous No.15617176]

>>15606096
looks good to me

[Anonymous No.15617179]

>>15594033

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT5kI3zJFmA

[Anonymous No.15617234]

>>15595703
And it predates "coconut milk", which people generally don't have a problem with

[Anonymous No.15617239]

>>15593692
I miss the land o lakes girl

[Anonymous No.15617246]

>>15606096
Andy?

[Anonymous No.15617268]

>>15606096
looks like german food

[Anonymous No.15617278]

>>15596106
>Game
>Pic of a SNES pad
Why?

[Anonymous No.15617285]

>>15603511
You forgot to include its partner product.

[Anonymous No.15617298]

>>15617285
>>15603511
I'd eat them.

[Anonymous No.15617306]

>>15617285
this sounds fucking incredible im not gonna lie. If its anything like confetti cake I'd be over the moon

[Anonymous No.15617359]

>>15617285
>from the makers of Aunt Jemima
Uhhhh sweetie that's problematic

[Anonymous No.15617884]

[Anonymous No.15618733]

>>15617278
What's the issue?

[Anonymous No.15618795]

>>15617285
This was actually really good.no idea of you can get it anymore

[Anonymous No.15618803]

>>15593774
>a fad a couple years ago

We had this as a snack at school sporting events when I was in elementary school 20 years ago

[Anonymous No.15620024]

>>15600130
Just like real life

[Anonymous No.15620393]

>>15605004
This is why you failed the reading comprehension section of the TOEFL

[Anonymous No.15620407]

>>15609785
>If Jesus showed up now he'd be in jail by next week,
Yes well that happened in His actual time on earth, too

[Anonymous No.15620619]

>>15617884
50s and 60s america was so cringey

[Anonymous No.15620641]

>>15596117
>chemicals and hormones
and i'm sure all meat is chemical and hormone free

[Anonymous No.15620661]

>>15596122
actually it looks like this rat you fucking pervert

[Anonymous No.15621424]

>>15599570
topkek

[Anonymous No.15621428]

>>15599830
This is the sin of Simony

[Anonymous No.15621520]

>>15598310
In the name, you fucking moron.

[Anonymous No.15622820]

>>15620661
That's a penis.

[Anonymous No.15623719]

>>15620619
>t. niggermonkey

[Anonymous No.15623859]

>>15596106
It's too bad this isn't actually real.

[Anonymous No.15624292]

Some years ago every milk brand started selling "barista milk" at a 20% price bump around here. I still don't know what makes it barista.

[Anonymous No.15624426]

>>15624292
That makes me angry.
Because "baristamælk" is one word, not two.
Danes don't know how to speak or write Danish anymore.

[Anonymous No.15624487]

>>15624292
Weird, this never happened in my country.

[Anonymous No.15625085]

>>15593759
English sausages have wheat.

[Anonymous No.15625193]

>>15593692
It's for people with lactose intolerance because there's less milk.

[Anonymous No.15625562]

>>15593774
walking tacos have been around since before you were born

[Anonymous No.15625624]

>>15599879
They took it off the butter here, but the milk jugs still have the injun holding the butter box, with the injun on it. So, it balances out.

[Anonymous No.15625635]

>>15600130
>took away the Native American lady but kept all the land.
Bless you Minnesota

[Anonymous No.15625647]

>>15594033
Sounds tasty. Weird and pointless, but tasty.

[Anonymous No.15625753]

>>15614205
>do back-breaking labor for about 3 weeks a year then sit on your ass, fuck your wife, drink ale with the bros and let mother nature do its magic
or
>constantly tend to a herd of animals that could run away at any moment, thereby killing you and the rest of your tribe
I know the life I would choose

[Anonymous No.15625765]

>>15617234
i learned something today

[Anonymous No.15625821]

>>15603511
I keep seeing this at the store and the worst parts of me want to see how bad it is

[Anonymous No.15625829]

>>15599124
Wheres the diversity?

[Anonymous No.15625871]

>>15617278
you know why

[Anonymous No.15625877]

>>15603511
What the fuck does captain crunch have to do with pancakes?

[Anonymous No.15626166]

>>15625877
both breakfast food dummy

[Anonymous No.15627561]

>>15593692

Tomato juice. Its so disgusting and has little to no use.

[Anonymous No.15627722]

[Anonymous No.15627731]

>>15593703
Stupid

To me, raw or roasted wheat berries would count as paleo, but this 100% does not

[Anonymous No.15627874]

>>15594033
It's from a comedy tv show

[Anonymous No.15627968]

>>15627722
These actually taste good. I'm pissed that they don't produce the nacho cheese variant anymore.

[Anonymous No.15628005]

>>15599739
Made me smile here is your (you)

[Anonymous No.15628367]

>>15616884
I actually had some of that sawdust pretending to be cheese before, it wouldn't melt at all, it just turns into woodchips in texture and taste, being able to melt is surely an accomplishment for someone.

[Anonymous No.15628446]

>>15606693
Bubble O Bill

[Anonymous No.15628473]

>>15627561
How else do you make a bloody mary?

[Anonymous No.15628842]

>>15609703
Damn, so apparently average developing nations are already better than the Biblical promised land.

[Anonymous No.15629240]

>>15610317
and you'd be wrong.

[Anonymous No.15629577]

>>15624292
It has added whey to increase foaming ability

t. læste bag på kartonen

[Anonymous No.15629679]

>>15593924
Why do lesbians use strap-ons?

[Anonymous No.15629699]

>>15623859
It was real and it was a novelty product. Honestly though as long as it didn't have the christmas pudding at the bottom, it doesn't sound bad at all.

[Anonymous No.15629711]

>>15593714
Almond milk is great if you have stomach issues

[Anonymous No.15629717]

tried this once out of curiosity, wish I hadn't because it's sickly sweet

[Anonymous No.15629757]

>>15596106
Someone should recommend this to Ordinary Sausage

[Anonymous No.15629772]

>>15612513
Glad I'm not the only Anon that's been burned by how garbage this product is. Their lasagna actually has meat so I assumed the enchiladas would be fine.

[Anonymous No.15629789]

>>15625765
Almond milk was mandated by the church on lean days.
Of course, if you could afford it. If you were a poorfag (like most people) you had fuckall.

[Anonymous No.15629933]

>>15593774
That's just what we do in the midwest

[Anonymous No.15630081]

>>15606096
Damn, I make vegan pepperoni everyday.

[Anonymous No.15630466]

>>15594493
>Ingredients: 100% prairie oysters

[Anonymous No.15630596]

>>15617278
It's made and sold by a store called Game that sells video games

[Anonymous No.15631658]

>>15630466
Lewd.

[Anonymous No.15631680]

>>15629717
Doesn’t it melt when you bake it?

[Anonymous No.15632544]

>>15631680
Dough doesn't melt.

[Anonymous No.15632631]

>>15593964
KeK.

Underrated

[Anonymous No.15633147]

>>15600130
Should have covered her in a blanket instead.

[Anonymous No.15633906]

>>15593726

[Anonymous No.15634023]

>>15617285
Captain Crunch seems like a big wanker

[Anonymous No.15634030]

>>15634023
i like how his eyebrows hover over his hat

[Anonymous No.15634217]

>>15596106
>date pudding
>pickled cabbage
>pumpkin????
>brussel sprouts
>stuffing
>mashed potato????
>cranberry sauce
>turkey

[Anonymous No.15634299]

>>15593793
>making all the crisps go soggy by pouring sauce over them
what the hell is their problem?

[Anonymous No.15634308]

>>15599830
>kosher
OH I AM LAFFIN

[Anonymous No.15634476]

>>15594146

Ben Shapiro spotted

[Anonymous No.15635541]

>>15627722
...Europe was a mistake.