/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14285697]

What's the fattest thing you've ever done/eaten?

[Anonymous No.14285705]

today i plan on whipping a bowl of cream and eating eat with some fruit

[Anonymous No.14285708]

>>14285697
Apparently Elvis liked bacon, peanut butter, banana and honey sandwiches. I tried it once, it was delicious but very rich, I can't imagine eating them regularly.

[Anonymous No.14285709]

>>14285697

>CCTV of a US Navy sailor on guard duty

[Anonymous No.14285712]

>>14285697
today i ordered taco bell delivery for lunch. now i just ordered popeye's delivery for dinner

[Anonymous No.14285723]

>>14285697
Your mom's pucci

[Anonymous No.14285728]

did he died?

[Anonymous No.14285741]

>>14285723
>tfw blasting ropes at hyper speed

[Anonymous No.14285748]

>>14285712
>ordering food at all means you're fat
Are you implying everyone should only have the lowest calorie and smallest pieces of fruit to not be defined as fat?

[Anonymous No.14285749]

>>14285697
When my wife was out of town for two weeks, I ate at Arby's every day for lunch, then I ordered Dominos for dinner each night. I'd eat an entire large pizza, an order of bread bites, an entire brownie thing the size of a small pizza, and at least a six pack of beer. A couple nights I ate an entire stouffers lasagna with mac and cheese and ice cream.

[Anonymous No.14285755]

>>14285697
>he just lays there, resigned
my fucking sides

[Anonymous No.14285771]

>>14285708
>I can't imagine eating them regularly.

Imagine eating that every day on top of ingesting borderline-suicidal amounts of opiates and benzos prescribed to you by a sociopath "doctor" who was getting rich off of your drug habit. Next, imagine not shitting for 4 months and trying to squeeze a rock-solid, 5-inch in diameter turd out of your butt. :/

[Anonymous No.14285928]

>>14285755
He seems to have hit his head pretty hard

[Anonymous No.14285940]

>>14285705
>eating eat
that's pretty fat

[Anonymous No.14285946]

>>14285928
Doesn't look like he hit his head. If he's too lazy to get up from a chair he'd be even lazier when having to get up off the floor.

[Anonymous No.14285950]

>>14285697
Got 4 pounds of cheap shrimp, 2 pounds of squid and 4 pounds of chicken wings. Fried the shit out of them and split it with a friend
It was a bucket of fried shit, all with different sauces I made. We had to stop and keep eating later on to be able to finish it

[Anonymous No.14285952]

i ate half a peanut butter sandwich in the shower the other half i did not finish i fucked it while in the shower

[Anonymous No.14285960]

>>14285755
dude just accept his fate

[Anonymous No.14285963]

>>14285697
Fattest and dumbest thing: Ate 12 Taco Bell tacos, had probably 10 beers, then around midnight drunk drove to a local pizza place and then ate the whole pizza.

[Anonymous No.14285971]

I like to go to Burger King and use the coupon for 2 original chicken sandwiches and 2 small fries for 5 bucks, then also get 10pc nuggets and a drink, and eat it all in one go

It's like 2500 calories, but it's usually all I eat for the entire day

[Anonymous No.14285973]

>>14285709
>CCTV of a US Navy sailor on guard duty

you idiot, are you blind? that's obviously an Air Force duty station

[Anonymous No.14285977]

in terms of "done"

I had sex with an obese man..basically it was just smell and dealing with fat folds

[Anonymous No.14285979]

Recently, ordered an XL pizza with pesto sauce and 3 cheeses. Must have been over a cup of oil in the whole thing. Puked it up promptly

[Anonymous No.14285984]

>>14285749
How much weight did you put on?

[Anonymous No.14285985]

>>14285697
Did he actually pass out, or did he just give up?

[Anonymous No.14285992]

Cooked an amazing, delicious meal for specifically for drunk-me because cooking while you're drunk is a good way to burn the house down. Left it in the fridge for later. Drunk-me comes for his prize and drops the whole thing on the floor. I was so devastated I just left the mess for morning-me and went to bed.

[Anonymous No.14285996]

>>14285749

Did you eat so much junk because you were worried about her banging some dude with a long dick every day of her trip?

[Anonymous No.14286017]

>>14285952
Devilish

[Anonymous No.14286030]

>>14285749
Are you me? Oh wait I'm divorced.

[Anonymous No.14286082]

>>14285697
At home watching movies, I binge ate a pound of soft (real) licorice through the night.
spent the next day feeling like I was about to die.

[Anonymous No.14286595]

>>14285697
Went with friends to unlimited wings at buffalo wild wings when they still did that during summer weekday lunchtimes and had a wing eating contest
I got 35, first place was 42

[Anonymous No.14286610]

A whole chocolate cake by myself.
I think I felt it remove like 5 years froms my lifespan

[Anonymous No.14286612]

>>14285697
i'm probably in the 2000s calories for today. haven't done that for a while. i only weigh 147 so whatever

[Anonymous No.14286660]

I went to Japan, vowing to eat an absurd amount of food at every opportunity, eating till i was stuffed and then some at every meal

I gained 11 pounds in 10 days while there, over 1 pound a day. My gf was bewildered when i came back, my face noticeably filled out

[Anonymous No.14286741]

>>14286595
I feel like 35 or 42 wings isn’t really much

[Anonymous No.14286846]

>>14285697
I had 18 beers and ate at least 7 chili cheese dogs at a festival once. I'm perfectly in shape and not dead somehow

[Anonymous No.14286855]

I used to go on sugar binges where I'd buy thirty dollars in chocolates and hostess cakes plus a gallon of milk then just go to town.

[Anonymous No.14286872]

>>14285952
I feel like getting peanut butter up your pee hole would be unpleasant and possibly dangerous.

[Anonymous No.14286895]

>>14285748
I don't think that was implied at all. Seems like you're insecure about your weight

[Anonymous No.14286905]

At golden coral I took fried chicken skin and folded it like a taco then stuffed it with mac n cheese.

[Anonymous No.14286910]

>>14286660
When I went to Japan I thought I would lose weight because of how much we walked. I broke even because I ate a lot (which I'm cool with). They had a lot of good food over there. They suck at making other culture's foods though.

[Anonymous No.14286917]

>>14285977
I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Was he at least a decent person?

[Anonymous No.14286928]

>>14286905
Oh that sounds like it would be fantastic anywhere but golden corral, simply bcuz of the health violations kek

[Anonymous No.14286990]

I ate 3 5-5-5 medium pizzas from dominos in the span of like 2 hours

[Anonymous No.14287026]

>>14285697
>What's the fattest thing you've ever done/eaten?
the past entire year of binge drinking and routinely eating sacks full of mcdoubles.

[Anonymous No.14287030]

>>14285697
For a summer in college me and my friends would get really high, go to Denny's and stuff our face with lumberjack slams, then go straight to steak and shake for burgers and half price milkshakes while loudly yelling "bang bang" at no one in particular.

[Anonymous No.14287053]

Living it, really. I regularly eat junk food, such as five guys/shake shack and other terrible shit. Hilariously enough, though, I usually eat a very healthy side and/or salad. I don't play myself, though -- I know I'm eating generally unhealthy. I just like steamed vegetables and a sizeable portion of fruits, too.

Apparently, I'm a marvel at the doctor's office. I have a solid 70/30 stack where I eat like shit 70% of the time and eat really healthy 30% of the time. I don't have any diabetes or high blood pressure, but I am considered morbidly obese. I can miraculously jog fairly well/better than the avg obese person my size, too.

In fairness, I used to do Kyokushin and Judo in my youth for about 8-9 years. Maybe that's why I'm doing alright?

[Anonymous No.14287060]

>>14287053
>morbidly obese
>doing alright

Jesus m8. You’re a lucky one. Cut the fat and processed sugar out. You’re gonna die at 40.

[Anonymous No.14287063]

>>14287060
pls no bully. I am 31, almost 32.

I've been jogging the past week, but fuck, it is hard to get rid of the processed sugars and fat. It is so addicting. :(

[Anonymous No.14287065]

>>14287063
post belly

[Anonymous No.14287073]

>>14287063
M8 it’s for your own good. I’m not gonna lie and say I have a six pack. I fluctuate between L and XL clothing. Was doing great until coronavirus shut down gyms and now I’m XL for good.

But you can do it m8. Have a cheat day. Eat healthy and drink water and all that. Pig out Sunday’s. Take care of your health though. Health complications can sneak up on you.

[Anonymous No.14287149]

>>14285708
He can't anymore either

[Anonymous No.14287154]

>>14285723
There's always one who can't help himself.

[Anonymous No.14287180]

>>14285952
Wow I wish I had a hot water tank that big.

[Anonymous No.14287200]

>>14287180
> tfw big ass industrial water heater
> tfw could shower for hours
> tfw i only like to take slow hot baths, and chill in the hot water until it gets cold, then i drain half of it , and fill the tub with hot water, while enjoying cold beers
> tfw at least once a month or so i fall asleep in the tub , and wake up in freezing water
>then take a hot shower and go to bed
I'm obese if this matters,and huge enough that i cant possibly drown, so i'm safe during my water naps.
It makes me feel like a walrus. Thanks for reading my blog

[Anonymous No.14287213]

>>14285723
Came here to post this

[Anonymous No.14287371]

I ate an entire large supreme pizza from Pizza hut. I threw it up about 20 minutes later. Probably due to all the grease.

[Anonymous No.14287376]

>>14285697
ate a pound of cheddar for dinner once just held it in my hand and bit into while while watching youtube. I also like to dip potatoe chips in used frying oil

[Anonymous No.14287400]

>>14287200
>it makes me feel like a walrus
Holy shit anon I nearly fell out of my chair from laughing right there. Thank you for that

[Anonymous No.14287894]

I'm not quite sure if I've ever truly gone all out to see how much my body could handle, not since I was like 10 yrs old at least. And back then the amount that would stuff me completely doesn't even fill me up nowadays.
Probably the most I ever ate recently was two extra large pizzas, felt like I could handle more than that though.
I'm not exactly made of money so I'd feel like it'd be wasting money to eat until I get to the edge of spewing it everywhere. Maybe I'll challenge myself some day though...

[Anonymous No.14288380]

>>14287063
Exercise is gonna do jack shit if you don't change your eating habits. Jogging for 5 minutes around the block won't help you burn off all the extra fat, and it will fuck up your knees. Eat less and eat healthy, shouldn't be a problem for you since you claim to like steamed veggies and such. Godspeed, my nigga.

[Anonymous No.14288387]

If you haven't spread butter on Oreo cookies, are you even fat?

(I think that was the day I went from delightfully plump to... well...)

[Anonymous No.14288419]

>>14288380

I'm not that guy but exercise is the key for me to lose weight. If I do not work out then I am just going to lounge around the house and eat all day. If I exercise and get used to moving around, I will spend a lot less time eating and more time doing stuff. Even if I do not change my diet (I meant the type of foods I eat, not how much I eat), I will still lose weight.

I've tried dieting alone plenty of times and that shit never works. Exercise is pretty much a prerequisite. Exercise with a good diet is optimal, though.

[Anonymous No.14288450]

>>14285697
made a bacon & cream cheese sandwich.
put an entire pound of bacon in the oven until it was crispy, put it on toast, used about half a package of cream cheese. it was amazing for maybe 2 bites, the rest was regret.

[Anonymous No.14288495]

>>14285697
When I got extremely wasted one time, I ate an entire tin of cake frosting and a box of graham crackers.

[Anonymous No.14288717]

>>14288419
I agree completely on that matter. Especially during a lockdown when you'd be more inclined to eat out of boredom/depression, exercise is an excellent way to pass the time and get your mind off things. I was pointing out that when you reach a stage of morbid obesity you should focus on dieting and not straining your already precarious joints with jogging. Light walking would be ideal, at least until OP reaches a weight that allows him to try harder workouts.

[Anonymous No.14288737]

>>14285697
Spent a weekend putting together a very large stage with very large speakers and lights, and a very large LED video wall, 40h over the course of two days. When I got home, I ordered an XL pizza and a 2L coke, and demo'd both before I went to sleep.

[Anonymous No.14288795]

Ate one of those 50 piece wing buckets from KFC, followed by a pack of kinder bars and some candy. Felt sick afterwards and had one of the most painful shits of my life the next day. Still worth it, love KFC and kinder

[Anonymous No.14290546]

>>14288795
Wtf

[Anonymous No.14290570]

>>14286872
only for crunchy. smooth is ok.

[Anonymous No.14290604]

>>14287053
you sound like my type

[Anonymous No.14290664]

>>14285977
mom?

[Anonymous No.14290776]

>>14286846
That actually sounds pretty heavenly.

[Anonymous No.14290810]

>>14285708
>>14285771
I had an ex who LOVED those sandwiches. She ran track and would inhale a box of uncrustables or (homemade ones with banana slices) after she finished running.
Her shits would destroy the toilet to where a bucket warm water was necessary to flush.

[Anonymous No.14291153]

>>14290810
Girls don't shit

[Anonymous No.14291157]

>>14285697
I've done a lot of fatty shit. The fattest thing I've probably ever done is eat an entire party sized bag of potato chips for breakfast.

[Anonymous No.14291168]

>>14287065
It ain't easy being 233lbs of /pure muscle/

[Anonymous No.14291170]

>>14291157
I should probably add that I drank a large milkshake with it

[Anonymous No.14291203]

>>14290810
Hot

[Anonymous No.14291213]

>>14290604
owo

[Anonymous No.14291215]

>>14285697
this webm doesnt have anything to do with being fat tho, he was stubborn to get out of his seat. at most his physique is the result of the resulting attitude

[Anonymous No.14291258]

>go to costco
>decide to splurge on one of those massive chip bags because its been a long time since I ate chips last
>end up eating the whole thing in one go
>next day my tongue hurts, the roof of my mouth hurts, my teeth feel weird, and my throat aches

>end up doing it again next year
i really need to stop buying those giga bags

[Anonymous No.14291350]

Once in college I got baked out of my fucking mind and filled an entire mixing bowl with equal parts Kraft easy Mac and this off-brand Cocoa Puffs that had Lucky Charms style marshmallows in it. It was crunchy-sweet-chewy-salty and it tasted like straight dopamine.

[Anonymous No.14291353]

>>14291350
>Once in college I got baked out of my fucking mind and filled an entire mixing bowl with equal parts Kraft easy Mac and this off-brand Cocoa Puffs that had Lucky Charms style marshmallows in it. It was crunchy-sweet-chewy-salty and it tasted like straight dopamine

[Anonymous No.14291354]

>>14291215
i mean he was reaching for food

[Anonymous No.14291368]

>>14291354
the emotion he expressed was stubbornness

[Anonymous No.14291383]

>>14286741
Ok fatty

[Anonymous No.14291443]

>>14291258
I never seen something as a giga bag. is it the biggest size or you guys even have a bigger one?
a giga is recommended for how many people?

[Anonymous No.14291477]

>>14287053
>Weigh anywhere from 280-300 pounds
>Most of all my weight is in my torso and thighs
>Have normal arms, and fairly strong legs due to constant squatting
>Can hide it decently, although you can see it in my face
I genuinely wonder what it is about my body that I have this shape. I eat like complete shit though. I desperately need to stop ordering out.
The lowest I had been in years though was 250 when I worked at a grocery store and was on my feet a lot, but I haven't worked in a few years.

[Anonymous No.14291691]

>>14287200
>> tfw big ass industrial water heater
>> tfw at least once a month or so i fall asleep in the tub , and wake up in freezing water
t. Cosmo Kramer

[Anonymous No.14291701]

>>14285977
Please don't tell me you're a dude (XYmale)

[Anonymous No.14291744]

>>14285697
One of those Famous Dave's trash can lids I did a pretty good number on. I'm a skinny dude but there was one time I remember demolishing most of one of the 2-person lids.

[Anonymous No.14291759]

>>14285697
Eaten 2 lbs of bacon in one sitting.

Made a home made cheese steak sandwich with store bought garlic bread instead of a hoagie roll.

[Anonymous No.14292030]

>>14291477
>weigh 300 pounds
>still think people cant see how fat you are

[Anonymous No.14292038]

>>14285952
LMAO try baked beans next, when it’s warm it feels like it’s sucking your cock

[Anonymous No.14292049]

>>14291477
bro stop lying to yourself baka

[Anonymous No.14292054]

>>14285708
He also ate Monte Cristo sandwiches nearly every day.

[Anonymous No.14292061]

I once ate the $15 mcdonalds 2-3 person meal by myself. I hated myself for doing it.

[Anonymous No.14292327]

Don’t know if this counts but I ran a half-marathon and then went to an all you can eat Sunday brunch at a nice place. Spent the next couple of hours terrorizing the omelet station and the waffle bar with drinking mimosas and whatever else fruit juice they had. Probably the most calories I’ve consumed in a single sitting.

[Anonymous No.14292341]

>>14287200
Lol I love this place

[Anonymous No.14292358]

I ate two whole boxes of this cereal with half & half.

[Anonymous No.14292414]

>>14291350
what the fuck is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.14292725]

Used to eat an ungodly amount of food. My grandparents used to grill & expect me to eat everything. I've ate 6 burgers and 12 bratwursts

[Anonymous No.14292733]

6 burgers and 12 bratwursts in one sitting. Don't have that appetite or metabolism anymore.

[Anonymous No.14292791]

A roommate once ate 1kg of tartare
She did felt like shit for the following week

[Anonymous No.14292879]

>>14287200
>and wake up in freezing water
...what kind of nightmarish shit are you into??

>It makes me feel like a walrus
I see...

[Anonymous No.14292893]

>>14287894
>I'm not quite sure if I've ever truly gone all out to see how much my body could handle, not since I was like 10 yrs old at least
Same here.
I think I was around 12 but I decided to drink a 2 liter Mountain Dew and a 6 pack of cinnabon's fresh from the mall. Went into a food coma.
I woke up and had puked all over myself in my sleep.

[Anonymous No.14293446]

>>14285697
I was having a bad day one day so I figured I'd treat myself by eating 3 chipotle burritos. it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be to finish

I've been getting bored in quarantine, I'm thinking about doing it again

[Anonymous No.14293460]

cooked 3 corn dogs in the microwave
removed the hotdogs (ate them)
then filled the corn dogs up with an entire new bottle of cheese spray and ate them with 2 coca colas
then had 2 glasses of milk with a box of zebra cakes for desert

[Anonymous No.14293470]

>>14291477
You aren't hiding anything, stop coping and stop overeating.

[Anonymous No.14293878]

>>14285697
ramlet

[Anonymous No.14293888]

>>14288795
jesus

[Anonymous No.14294078]

When I use to work at a fast food restaurant the employees could buy left over food for super cheap at the end of the night. I managed to eat 25 chicken fingers and 20 boneless wings in about an hour and a half.

[Anonymous No.14294939]

>>14285697
I had 3 pieces of speedway pizza, normally I would mention that time I ate 11 pieces of little caesars but that speedway pizza is very filling.

[Anonymous No.14294943]

>>14285697

eating the largest fatburger at a FATBURGER..

[Anonymous No.14294946]

>>14285749
I have never like anything from Arby's other than the $1 BBQ sandwich, don't know if they even still do that.

[Anonymous No.14294970]

>>14288419
diet can work on its own, I have done keto twice since working out isn't much of an option for me (bad back I can barely walk a lot of the time).

[Anonymous No.14294974]

>>14291157
same but tortilla chips at midnight.

[Anonymous No.14294989]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvzw7MOFhQo

[Anonymous No.14294996]

>>14291477
I am 230 and I can see it and everyone else can see it, also most of my fat is in torso and thighs.

[Anonymous No.14295792]

>>14287200
>Makes me feel like a walrus
Im in tears anon thanks, needed a good laugh.

[Anonymous No.14295818]

>>14285697
I single handedly finished a crave case. I want to beat the crave crate but I don't know if that's even possible

[Anonymous No.14295837]

you all are savages

i didnt think that many of you are obese though. seems like every other poster is obese

[Anonymous No.14295957]

not even joking, pic on the wall there

[Anonymous No.14295958]

>>14295818
I had to Google what a crave case even is, jesus.

[Anonymous No.14295961]

>7 years old
>dad buys 2 medium pizzas from papa johns to leave in the house as food for me and my mom when she comes home from work at 5pm
>but it did not enter my mind that the pizza was for mom as well
>ate both boxes in under 2 hours

[Anonymous No.14295965]

>>14290810
What did her turds taste like?

[Anonymous No.14295969]

>>14291350
Haha dude epic weed story bro XD lmao

[Anonymous No.14295971]

>>14290810
Haha gross...

[Anonymous No.14295993]

>>14285697
Eat 3 whole Little Caesar's hot-n-ready pizzas. Shit was so cash.

[Anonymous No.14296013]

probably eating something like 4lbs of boneless chicken a day + soda and snacks. I got up to just over 250 lbs before i stopped. Those were dark times.

[Anonymous No.14296043]

I was fat

[Anonymous No.14296045]

>>14295961
i remember being able to eat an entire large pizza by myself for lunch back when i was like 13
i wish i could always do that

[Anonymous No.14296078]

Ate an entire can of chili by myself tonight as frito pie. 2 big ass bowls of it, with tostitos queso dip in the mix as well. Things are going to get really interesting really quick after my coffee in the morning.

[Anonymous No.14296087]

Pic related. Used to get this shitty combo all the time back in the day. No wonder I got so fat.

[Anonymous No.14296239]

>>14285697
In order to prove keto worked, I intentionally gained weight only to lose immediately.

I called these "garbage weeks," where I ate as much as I could physically tolerate. Whole bags of chips paired with 2L of pop in one snack sitting, whole pizzas, boxes of 20 wings, chocolate bars up the wazoo, poutine (Canadafag detected), an entire bag of apples, etc etc etc.

The following two weeks I adhered to a strict sub-20g carb limit keto diet. It was awful, but the combination of calorie restriction and ketosis just melted the pounds away like no tomorrow.

And then I repeated the garbage week/keto cycles a few more times before I was convinced that yes, keto works.

[Anonymous No.14296349]

>>14290664
Ayo this nigga fucks his mom!

[Anonymous No.14296354]

>>14285771
he had seven pounds of fatty bile lining his colon.

[Anonymous No.14296465]

one time i accidentally the whole thing

[Anonymous No.14296474]

>>14296465
THE WHOLE THING!

[Anonymous No.14296573]

>>14285697
Your mom.

[Anonymous No.14296596]

>Have bulimia for 10 years
>Binge a fast food order
>Order 2 fries/cokes so random worker doesn't judge me

Doesn't it get any worse?

[Anonymous No.14296764]

>>14292725
>>14292733
Thank you.

[Anonymous No.14296812]

I once ate about 3/4th of a large pepperoni pizza from a local place, about 6 bread sticks, a little cup of meat sauce, 8 wings, all but one sleeve of oreos that I was dipping in ice cream, a homemade mint choco milkshake, about a quarter of a biscoff cookie butter jar, two greek yogurt cups, all washed down with about a half gallon of ice tea/lemonade. In about the span of about 2 hours. I feel like there are probably other fat stories I have, but I went into food comas and forgot

[Anonymous No.14296814]

>>14296239
Sure it works, but it's horrible for your body to eat shit, get overweight, go into ketosis, lose weight and then repeat
Like you probably knocked 4 years of your life if you did that more then three times, ofc it's still healthier then being a fatty

[Anonymous No.14297015]

>>14288419
>>14288717
God, I hate exercise fags so much.

[Anonymous No.14297022]

>>14296814
>it's horrible for your body to eat shit, get overweight, go into ketosis, lose weight and then repeat
Well yea but the point it is that you don't do that. you just do keto until you lose weight and then move to low carb.
I know a lot of people who lost weight just by doing low carb and not keto.
I think the only reason that guy did that was to make sure it does in fact work.

And giving a fuck about only getting to 85 years old instead of 90 is so fucking dumb. Death is inevitable. You can't out run it, stupid.

[Anonymous No.14297108]

>>14297015
t. hamplanet

[Anonymous No.14297326]

>>14297022
I would rather be a spry 90 year old walking around taking care of myself then a miserable 85 year old who can't even wipe my own ass
There is a big difference between being healthy and old and dying and old

[Anonymous No.14297334]

>>14285697
800 grams of pizza followed by 400 g of chocolate in the span of 2 hours

in terms of calories it was probably around 4500 - 5000

[Anonymous No.14297347]

>>14285723
>>14287213
I also wanted to say that

[Anonymous No.14297348]

>>14285723
damn you beat me to it you cheeky bastard.

[Anonymous No.14298735]

>>14297022
>You can't out run it, stupid.
fucking watch me

[Anonymous No.14299053]

>>14297326
>spry 90 year old walking around
Those people look like walking skeletons. Their life looks just as miserable as any other ancient person.
You're just afraid of dying.

>>14298735
Ah, you're one of those unrealistic people.
I hope you're super healthy and you randomly get hit by a bus or something else that you can't actually avoid.

[Anonymous No.14299062]

>>14299053
second anon, I am just shitposting, really I am a cripple and they don't know whats wrong with me yet, getting MRIs in early July.

[Anonymous No.14299296]

>>14293460
What the fuck

[Anonymous No.14299300]

>be like 10
>want some cereal
>but i want it extra sweet
>substitute milk with half&half and coffee creamer

[Anonymous No.14299329]

>>14299053
You sound like an asshole.

[Anonymous No.14299336]

>>14299300
Although all fat things are gross not all gross things are fat.

[Anonymous No.14299347]

>>14285697
it's not that bad, but i ate atleast over 100 pizza rolls, just plopped them on a plate, nuked them, and went ape shit on it

[Anonymous No.14299359]

>>14286660
I did that in europe and the complete opposite happened, drank and ate my way through germany austria italy and france and lost 3 pounds

maybe you just have shit metabolism

[Anonymous No.14299361]

>>14285697
Foie gras.

[Anonymous No.14299371]

>>14287063
>jogging
lmao, that's the worst shit for fat fucks like you, say goodbye to your joints

what you need to be doing is HIIT, stairs, sprints, rowing, and walking, a fuck ton of walking

hell you should be walking over an hour a day, you'll shred the fucking weight, you don't even need to lift, just consoom under 2k cals a day, do 5-10 mins of HIIT and walk an hour and you'll fucking shred the fat

don't be lazy or you will be fucked, you aren't in your 20s, if you don't do anything you'll be fucked

[Anonymous No.14299379]

>>14299336
true, true
to be fair it has to be the most calorie dense cereal i ever ate

[Anonymous No.14299382]

>>14286660
>>14286910
when i went to japan i got sick of the food after like 4 days. I can only have so much tempura, katsu, hot noodles (in soup), and rice bowls.

[Anonymous No.14299388]

>>14299371
>just consoom under 2k cals a day
Do you even fathom how hard that fucking is in today's society

[Anonymous No.14299403]

>>14299388
Not very? I'm not the one you're replying to but how is it hard? Just eat less. Takeaway should either be a treat or just skip some other meal in the day. Most days if I have a big lunch I'll just skip dinner, or plan ahead and skip my breakfast.

[Anonymous No.14299407]

>>14299062
It's all good, man. You're alive right now and that's what matters.

>>14299329
I'm just a realist. Death is a very real thing. Getting old and falling apart is also a real thing. They are both impossible to avoid - unless technology improves it somehow. That's a long time from our generation though.

[Anonymous No.14299416]

>>14299359
He ate McDonald's for every meal.

[Anonymous No.14299427]

>>14299388
it's not hard at all lmao, it's fucking easy, even fast food has all their shit labeled, chick fil a has a grilled chicken sandwich with grilled chicken bites that I used to love(no fucking sauces) and i'd get a water with it, boom that's lunch, i'd cook salmon or some shit with a side of brussel sprouts or mushrooms for dinner and that's easily under 2k right there, add a bar for breakfast and a protein shake somewhere in there and you're fucking good bro

[Anonymous No.14299484]

>>14299427
>and a protein shake
Ah yes. The future. Might as well take a pill to cut hunger.
Why shouldn't I consoom everything as a powder then.
The problem around here is that we cook everything in butter or oil. For everything that isn't cooked this will be cold cuts or cheese and bread.
Also fat addiction, probably

[Anonymous No.14299570]

>>14286660
You bought Japan home with you, it's now forever living in your fat cells. Respect!

[Anonymous No.14299574]

>>14299427
Not that anon but it's hard because they're not used to eating that little.

[Anonymous No.14299581]

>>14285748
t. fatass

[Anonymous No.14299586]

>>14285771
god i love drugs so much

[Anonymous No.14299597]

>>14299484
a protein shake is just protein, you don't have to do it, but it's healthy for your muscles and the protein you don't use you will just shit out, and i mix it with water so it's just that. You still need vitamins

And just cook in olive oil and onions, that's what I use when I saute down some brussel sprouts, broccoli or mushrooms, turns a boring veggie into something much better

taking any pill to cut hunger or anything like that is retarded, how hard is it just to cook your own shit and use portion control jesus fucking christ

>>14299574
yes it's fucking hard at first, but you get used to it extremely fast, hell with how fat this dude is, he could just stop eating as much lose weight, you know why people don't get fat? because they stop before they're full. it's easy as shit, but eating until you're full every fucking meal is going to make you become a fat fuck

[Anonymous No.14299607]

>>14287200
checked & kekked

[Anonymous No.14299736]

>>14299597
I don't see how its really that hard, I have done keto twice and both times it was just drop the carbs and don't eat outside of meals too much, I ate a lot of salad and pickled eggs as snacks.

[Anonymous No.14299750]

>>14292061
Biggu Maccu is so processed the food isn't hard to ingest, except the fries probably but I always order two big macs etc the seldom I eat there because it just doesn't fill you up that way. It's like it's half way digested already. Of course there is always the moral backlash. Don't get it from any other place except when thinking about how much real food I would buy and make myself when I think about the price vs what I'm getting.

[Anonymous No.14299759]

>>14296239
It's one of the original performance plans called 5/2. You'd need to lift weights and exercise to get most out of it though. So, 5 days with minimal carb intake <30-50g a day and 2 days of reloading.

The consensus these days is you can get the same effect pretty much if you cycle your carbs every day depending on what you do. Also people thought eating carbs in the evening is bad but it doesn't matter if your body is primed for performance and eating carbs in the evening is beneficial for calming you down and getting sleep.

[Anonymous No.14299874]

>>14287200
how many greasy, winegary shits have you done in the tub already?

[Anonymous No.14299877]

>>14285697
I've eaten hot dogs with peanut butter. The peanut butter melts and becomes drippy.

[Anonymous No.14300069]

I used to regularly drink these.

[Anonymous No.14300154]

>>14287065

[Anonymous No.14300265]

>>14291691
Heh

[Anonymous No.14300269]

>>14295818
I like you

[Anonymous No.14300289]

>>14291477
Fat fucking nonce.

[Anonymous No.14300339]

>>14285697
As a child, I once ate so much ham that I couldn't move. My stomach became hard as a rock, and my parents had to carry me, and place me in my bed. Later that night, the pain became so unbearable, I decided to try to make it to the bathroom and force myself to vomit. I slowly rolled over to lower myself from my bed, and the slight impact of my feet hitting the floor released a geyser of half chewed ham chunks, all over my room, and all of the way across the house, to the bathroom. I would not have wanted to clean up that mess.

[Anonymous No.14300354]

>>14287200
Man I wish I was a fat fuck, this sounds comfy as hell.

[Anonymous No.14300485]

>>14292038
this nigga fuckin beans

[Anonymous No.14300944]

>>14292054
God damn. He truly was The King.

[Anonymous No.14301306]

>>14285697
I got really high and ate two full loaves of french bread with nothing to accompany them.

[Anonymous No.14301339]

>>14292358
Ngl, sounds delicious.

[Anonymous No.14301348]

>>14286082
"Real" as in black licorice? That shit will literally give you heart palpitations in large quantities.

I mean, I fucking love the little medallions of salted hard black licorice, but most people will actually retch if given them.

[Anonymous No.14302124]

>>14285992

[Anonymous No.14302129]

>>14294996
Same here man, it's fucking unsightly. Ever since this quarantine I've been ordering out more than anybody has any business doing and I've put on 40 pounds in the past few months and am at 220. The awful thigh chaffing.

[Anonymous No.14302145]

>>14292358
I've always liked this stuff myself. I'm honestly not even sure if they still sell it anymore.

[Anonymous No.14302208]

>>14285712

My buddy used to eat like this and had a massive heart attack at 32. He lived but it was obviously a big wakeup call.

[Anonymous No.14302264]

15 cheeseboigas

[Anonymous No.14302272]

>>14302264

[Anonymous No.14302280]

>>14302272
at some point I have achieved borgar equilibrium where they started leaving my body at the rate of me eating them

[Anonymous No.14302298]

>>14296239
>>14296814
>>14297022
>>14299759

i've been eating keto for over a year. what's more, i only eat one meal a day. occasionally, i also fast for longer, anywhere from 36 to 72 hours.

despite that, i still lift weights and train BJJ and i have seen no ill effects on my mental state, energy, or ability to perform physically. on the contrary, i actually feel better.

lost a lot of weight, feel great, reversed my type 2 diabetes. most of the complaints people have about keto, i think, comes from not sticking with it long enough.

yes, before you become totally fat adapted, the keto flu will hit you and you will feel like shit.

but after that, you'll feel fine. a few weeks later than that, you'll be fat adapted and feel at least as good as you did before, probably better.

for example, insulin sensitivity goes up and your hunger signalling gets fixed. i almost never feel hungry or cravings to eat despite only eating at most once a day. i never feel low energy. i never have a crash, even after eating. if i eat at 12, i feel full until i go to sleep, even if i do 2-3 hours of exercise at 7 PM.
when i wake up in the morning, i don't feel full, but i also don't feel hungry or like i crave or require sugar for energy.

it's really quite something.

[Anonymous No.14302509]

Me and my buddy snuck out of work to go to Rally's/Checkers for lunch during our late as fuck shift, ordered 2 fry lovers fries, 10 rally burgers, and 2 large Mr. Pibbs (No idea why we ordered all of that), we proceed to eat every fucking bit of it with each of us having 5 rally burgers each before we even got back to work, which was like a 15 minute drive. I have never felt that shitty before in my entire life.

[Anonymous No.14302735]

>>14285697
Bought and consumed a whole meal I bought at an american restaurant

[Anonymous No.14302779]

>>14299597
I'm trying to eat less, it's hard and it takes time but I'm making progress, it think.
Today I only ate maybe 300gr of fruit for breakfast. At dinner it was a tomato onion pepper and feta salad. Two chicken skewers and a handful of homemade fries (like maybe 10 slices of fried medium potato)
Honestly I could have stopped at the feta salad. I felt like I ate too much.
But this is still like not even half the shit I would devour 3 years ago.
I try to avoid beer and fries especially. Being the on a vacation now so it's hard to follow that. Especially as I love fries.
But I feel I'm making progress

[Anonymous No.14302861]

$22 worth of taco bell

[Anonymous No.14302865]

>>14287063
check out /fat/ on /fit/ fren. It will help you

[Anonymous No.14302912]

>>14287063
Processed foods and sugars are addictive, and you need to treat them as addictions. Google how to deal with addictions and every time you reach for these things, recognise the addictive qualities. More often than not something will trigger the craving and it won't be hunger. Hunger can be satisfied with healthy food but when you feel like it hasn't hit the spot, that's your addiction speaking. So, spend a bit of time trying to recognise the triggers - what do you feel before you get cravings? What about during and after? If you can catch these triggers then you can stop your cravings going any further. It's much harder to hold back on something when you've literally got the chocolate bar in your hands but if you catch your trigger early and haven't even picked up the bar? Much easier to try and choose something healthier.

[Anonymous No.14303382]

>>14285697
After I got off a flight from Italy to Australia I ordered 10 double cheeseburgers at a Mcdonalds. I actually felt fine but then I crashed as soon as I got home from the carb coma.

[Anonymous No.14303572]

>>14285697
I wouldnt say its fat but peak hedonism.
I used to get high on weed and then take a bunch of cheap junk food like twinkies oroes icecream cinaamon salt milk etc and try to mix them into like a giant milk shake and basically constantly experimenting with varying flavours and textures also heating them up.
Then when I was full id puke it all up and then go back and do it all over again.
Basically I learned if you want to stay thin but not drive yourself crazy from eating healthy %100 of the time you could do this.
I was really obsessed in general with the flavour of icecream salt cinnamon milk and oreos which was kinda like the baseline i added everything else to.
The thing is the hit of dopamine from throwing up was even higher than the mindless guiltless indulgence of just chowing down on this perfect mix of food while high.
I called it Master Saucing.
I basically learned if you want to be bullimic its best to do it with milk and cookies type stuff because it just comes back up as a liquid and if you try to throw shit in there like cakes or bread or chips it kinda gets backed up or just in general is more difficult to throw up and largely unpleasant.

Also when you do the oreo icecream method you largely taste the food again because theres so much of it in your stomach, its also cold coming out which is kinda funny.
I was a turbo sperg about wanting to maintain my abs so I would throw up until I'd get to stomach acid to ensure i wasnt digesting any sugar.
This also has the added benefits if you are a chick or a fag you will also be able to deepthroat big dicks really easily. Although quite frankly I dont recomend this to anyone becuase its not healthy and drains your energy. I stopped doing it years ago but it was a hell of a fucking drug/way to binge on food.

I largely eat an autistic healthy diet now and my treat is like 90% dark chocolate with some peanut butter and cinnamon or a single date once a day. I also dont do weed anymore.

[Anonymous No.14304354]

>>14291477
>Weigh anywhere from 280-300 pounds
>Can hide it decently
TOP KEK THE DELUSION

[Anonymous No.14304524]

>>14285697
i suppose that the FATTIES thing (besides bacon and transfat-related products) shall be the uzbek palau i ate in Tashkent, Uzbekistan
like they have an entire restaurant with relatively cheap palau (like ~3 dollars a plate) which can also be provided with extra meat and/or eggs

this is actually so fat that you are supposed to only drink water/tea/milk/airan with this and a salad with it because if you drink other carbonated drinks or eat anything else you will get the worst heartburn in your life

also after you eat all of this meal you are not willing to eat anything in next 24-48 hours because your body is trying to understand what happened, even after you shat it out

[Anonymous No.14304638]

>>14299388
I feel ya brother, when ever you live with people who eat like shit often it can be almost impossible, you have to find somewhere that has high quality food that is low in calorie such as chicken and fish, if you would like bread try and get some shit that is high in fiber, and if you feel hungry try and drink black coffee or bangs, count every calorie and be a miser about what you let in. It took me 3 years to get to 2000 calories, its difficult especially in America but it can be done good luck friendo

[Anonymous No.14304667]

>>14303572
Please tell me this is pasta

[Anonymous No.14304679]

>>14285697
i used to get a taco bell party pack every friday night and crush the whole thing in the parking lot after work. i dont regret any of it

[Anonymous No.14304699]

>>14287200
based fatass

[Anonymous No.14304704]

>>14287200
Lmao

Legend

[Anonymous No.14304737]

>>14287200
based

[Anonymous No.14304745]

>>14291477
Bro unless you are an athlete, noticeably fat begins at 210 pounds.

[Anonymous No.14304750]

>>14285697
>2 medium pizzas, 8 piece wings, 1 cheesybread, and a 2 liter of barq's in a single sitting.

[Anonymous No.14304796]

>>14287200
Fantastic. I am legitimately jealous.

[Anonymous No.14304809]

>on an 8th grade field trip
>pizza lunch provided
>ate an entire pizza myself
80 lbs overweight at that point, would be another three years before I knocked it down by half. sitting at a comfortable 10lbs over currently.

[Anonymous No.14304839]

>>14295818
just went on a matt stonie youtube tour thanks

[Anonymous No.14304845]

Put two ice cubes in my glass of water once.

[Anonymous No.14304906]

>>14304845
Absolutely disgusting

[Anonymous No.14304910]

Sometimes I wish I could take a trip to America and just eat my way across the country, sampling every fast food experience you have to offer.

[Anonymous No.14304922]

>>14302298
I'm one of the anons you replied to.

I know you said you reversed your diabetes but this sounds unhealthy as fuck. I think you did get to a healthy point and now you're just over doing it.
Everyone on here talks about how great OMAD is but it's really just men coming up with new terms and ways to justify being anorexic.
Not to mention over working your body by lifting as well as starving yourself.
You call it fasting but it's still just starving yourself.

[Anonymous No.14304925]

>>14304910
You would die after about 120 miles, give or take. I can't imagine other cultures taking to our food with any sort of ease

[Anonymous No.14304957]

>>14304922
it sounds unhealthy to you but that's probably just because you aren't a doctor, dietician, or don't know any of the science behind what's going on.

according to my blood work, which i take regularly due to my previous diabetes, i am more healthy now than i was in my 20s. i have a resting heart rate of 55. blood pressure of 110/65. low cholesterol. hormones at optimal levels, higher test than before. after a year of doing this, all i can say is that this is the most beneficial thing i have ever done.

what makes you think eating more than once a day is inherently better? lemme guess - is it all the stuff you knew from what your parents, grandparents, and commercials told you growing up?

[Anonymous No.14305071]

Ate 40 pizza rolls in two minutes....

https://youtu.be/YC1CUl4XcZc

[Anonymous No.14305092]

>>14285697
On a bet I ate 13 McRibs in 39 minutes.
I got really, really sick.

I also ate prime rib at a Reno buffet until I couldn't move, prime rib and room temperature water, had to sit on the curb in front of the casino. 2 guys helped my friend get me into an Uber, guy said if I puked he was going to kill me.

Ate 3 extra large supreme Round Table Pizza's in 4 hours, drank two, 2ltr Mountain Dews. Had a lot of diarrhea.

Yes I am somewhat obese, not morbidly or disgustingly, I bathe regularly and wear clean clothes. But if I ride in a Miata I can't have a passenger.

I routinely go to Chinese Seafood Buffets and consume their profit margins.

[Anonymous No.14305105]

>>14299359
Are you me? I drunkenly ate my way through germany, italy, and spain a few summers ago. Lost a few pounds and got a really nice tan.

[Anonymous No.14305106]

My BMI is 22 but I am a total fat piece of shit at heart. I can easily eat entire cakes, packs of oreos, jars of peanut butter, etc. I usually eat sub-1000 calories the next day to make up for it and sometimes nothing.

[Anonymous No.14305136]

Make milkshakes out of heavy cream instead of milk, they taste way better. I also drink heavy cream out of shot glasses when I wake up hungry but too lazy to actually eat.

When I was a kid I would eat full sized bags of Hersheys kisses/hugs while playing video games. Once I ate nothing but Burger King and McDonalds every day for 2 or 3 months. When I got McDonalds fries I would add extra salt packets on top of the already salty fries. Ironically I'm skinny

[Anonymous No.14305138]

>>14285697
ate a large chourico french fry and egg sub
i felt like i was going to die

[Anonymous No.14305143]

>>14302145
best ever.

[Anonymous No.14305146]

>>14290810
Is she single?

[Anonymous No.14305159]

>>14287200
Cheers anon

[Anonymous No.14305173]

>>14292030
>>14292049
>>14293470
>>14294996
>>14300289
>>14304354
>>14304745
cope twigmen

[Anonymous No.14305240]

>>14287200
based walrus anon

[Anonymous No.14305720]

>>14285697
Possibly the fattest I've ever eaten was today. I worked all day refurbishing the pool in my backyard and then went to popeye's and got a family meal. 4 biscuits not pictured but ate them with honey. Finished everything over the last 4 hours, plus a shit load of cake

[Anonymous No.14305724]

>>14305720
Also had a spicy chicken sandwich. Couldn't resist

[Anonymous No.14305735]

>>14305720
And the cake. Demolished about half of it with a quart of whole milk

[Anonymous No.14305752]

>>14304910
what you want to eat my friend? pizzas and burgers?

[Anonymous No.14305949]

>>14305071
I know this video, it is old magic, this can't be you

[Anonymous No.14306064]

Put sugar, literal white sugar, on a toast.

[Anonymous No.14306149]

>>14306064
I have a funny story. My sister used to do this, like a lot. One day she came home from school and made two slices of toast with giant piles of sugar on top. Except they weren’t sugar; she accidentally poured salt. Instead of tossing the toast, she decided to feed the salt toast to my dog, who then licked up all the salt and ignored the bread. My dog proceeded to vomit everywhere and my sister, who was a little bitch, refused to clean it up. Fun times

[Anonymous No.14306397]

>>14287200
Reddit tier but should be capped.

[Anonymous No.14306489]

>>14285977
who was fucking who, faggot?

[Anonymous No.14306552]

>>14286846
Damn, the most I ever had was 13.

[Anonymous No.14306563]

>>14287053
Yeah I was in a similar position. until my knees gave out because I was such an "active" fat person. Until one day I realized I couldn't climb two flights of stairs without stopping to catch my breath. Until the bottom of my bed fell through while I was sleeping one night. until the fat guy shops no longer carried my sizes in business attire.
lose the weight now anon. Don't wait. Even with my blown out knees I feel a million times better than I did when I was fat, even during the time I thought I was doing fine.

[Anonymous No.14306613]

>>14299388
It's not harder than it's been in the past. They still sell vegetables and meat at the supermarket last time I checked.

[Anonymous No.14306656]

>>14299388
Super easy compared to before, what with everything being labeled with energy content or being a <60s google search away.

[Anonymous No.14307064]

>>14292791
Fuck, that sounds horrific.

[Anonymous No.14307070]

>>14299597
>but you get used to it extremely fast
obviously not everyone does. Otherwise some people wouldn't have so much trouble with it.

[Anonymous No.14307121]

I became an American citizen in 2005.

[Anonymous No.14307125]

>>14307121
that happens to most
my japanese teacher came here from japan and she is quite chubby hehe

[Anonymous No.14307153]

one time I ate over 400 grams of pizza

[Anonymous No.14307160]

>>14305071
when chatroulette first came out I looped this video and used it as my webcam. some people would watch it for a while in complete disgust

[Anonymous No.14307168]

>>14305724
the brioche meme needs to end

[Anonymous No.14308099]

>>14307125
I held out for a while. I was thin/fit for the longest, up until 3 years ago when I had an issue that kept me from my regular exercise routine for about half a year. It's not so much a routine as it is simply walking around and generally keeping active in normal, everyday sorts of ways. After recovery, I grew so comfortable with the typical sedentary lifestyle (including eating ready meals on the regular) that I just continued living that way into the present day. Now, I wear a US 36 waist. I was a 30 before that. I don't want to admit my current weight. : (

[Anonymous No.14308220]

>>14285697
I ate a whole pack of bacon this morning

[Anonymous No.14308475]

ate mcdelivery for an entire week straight and gained 20 pounds

[Anonymous No.14308545]

>>14299388
>black coffee, oatmeal with peanut butter and honey = 600 calories
>skip lunch
>sip on water all day
>3oz dry pasta, 1Tbsp olive oil, who gives a shit mushrooms, bag of spinach, half an onion, 2 cloves of garlic = <500 calories

Thats 1100 calories which still gives you room for lunch or snacking throughout the day its literally so fucking easy. Replace breakfast with a couple eggs and youre looking at a meal around 200 calories. Literally all you have to do is not eat out more than once a day, and even if you do you just have to not get portions that could feed multiple people.

[Anonymous No.14308584]

>>14306397
Did it yesterday. I plan to post it whenever I am in a /comfy/ thread.

[Anonymous No.14308649]

>>14285697
>What's the fattest thing you've ever done/eaten?
A fat Girl i met at Vacation on Corsica. She was really insatiable ;-)

[Anonymous No.14308677]

>>14285697
One time I ate a 300g hamburger. I couldn't eat anything else the following day.

[Anonymous No.14308921]

>>14287200
>It makes me feel like a walrus

[Anonymous No.14308974]

>>14300154

[Anonymous No.14308975]

>>14306064
A piece of buttered toast sprinked with sugar and cinnamon is a delight. Unless you had heaps of sugar on that bread, I'm sure you consumed less sugar than you get from a single prepackaged cupcake/donut.

[Anonymous No.14308991]

>>14305092
>But if I ride in a Miata I can't have a passenger
>I routinely go to Chinese Seafood Buffets and consume their profit margins.
woah there nelly

[Anonymous No.14309057]

>>14304910
This pêh, except with any country, basically what Bourdain was doing

[Anonymous No.14309080]

>>14303572
Been there homie, had similar experiences with bread blocking things up

I would usually chug two glasses of water to help water everything down, making everything come up easier

I saw a little blood once, and haven't done it since

I was 300 pounds in middle school, lost 150 pounds and neurotically obsessed over everything I ate

I'm 200 now at 30, a lil thick but not too bad. Still want to lose weight but it doesn't make me as depressed as it used to, kind of made my peace with it

I like thicc mommies so maybe they won't mind my being a little thicc too

[Anonymous No.14309199]

>>14285697
i hate another fat person

[Anonymous No.14309217]

I've gone to buffets and eaten until I've puked. More than once.

[Anonymous No.14309225]

>>14285697
Drinking 20 330ml cans of beer after having a big dinner.

[Anonymous No.14309260]

>>14309199
well i ate another fat person

[Anonymous No.14309281]

>>14303572
... What the fuck?

[Anonymous No.14309298]

Probably when I lived alone for a year and was left to my own devices. I’m not fat, but I was drinking a LOT (like, liter + per day of vodka), and eating a lot of fast food.
Either two large pizzas or spending $25 on the McDickles dollar menu and somehow finishing it without choking. Both of which were atop 4000 calories of vodka.

[Anonymous No.14309336]

>>14303572
>I used to get high on weed
How to tell when someone has never smoked weed once in their life; they say shit like "get high on weed".

[Anonymous No.14309363]

>>14285697
>woke up with cheese in my bed, ate it
>woke up with bits of food and crumbs all over the floor, would eat it as well
>worked in all sorts of fast food places and restaurants, would always eat what was destined for the trash
>wearing sweatshirts and hoodies in the middle of like August

[Anonymous No.14309395]

>>14291258
I do this once a year thing too, two bags, but I dip every chip in nacho sauce. I buy one of these industrial cans from a friend, only this specific brand, it's the best nacho cheese sauce I've ever had. It's my Christmas celebration, I binge a marathon of Christmas classics while chowing down on chips and dip. Also jugs of unsweetened tea with a few cups of eggnog mixed in. Eat both bags of chips, dip whatever else I want, toss it in the freezer to use on hot dogs or fries or whatever through the year.

Also, fuck anyone who says Die Hard, Gremlins, and Trading Places aren't Christmas movies. White Christmas is great, don't get me wrong, but you need a breather after a few traditional movies.

[Anonymous No.14309401]

Fried bread in the grease of that morning's breakfast (eggs, sausage, ham, bacon, butter, etc.) and sprinkled sugar on it. I felt like such a fat fuck. My aunt watched while I did it and told me I was going to die from a heart attack some day.

[Anonymous No.14309412]

>>14309336
weve got a professional weed smoker over here, watch out everyone! he knows all the dos and donts to being cool and smoking that bud! ya herd me?

[Anonymous No.14309414]

>>14285697
When I was anorexic I would occasionally break and eat huge amounts.
>a whole jar of peanut butter in 1 day
>a full box of the coconut girlscout cookies and a whole box of chocolate-raspberry wafers
>sushi dinner, several large chocolate chip cookies for dessert, a couple protein bars, a couple candy bars, and wings and fries in one night
>giant shake and burger from sonic directly following a 3 day fast

I'm sure there are more that I can't think of. Literally no amount of food was satisfying for over a year.

[Anonymous No.14309431]

>>14309395
>dood Die Hard is a Christmas movie!
please just go the fuck back to facebook you absolute faggot. anyone that says that is such a soi chugging dog fucker.

[Anonymous No.14309439]

>>14309336
Says the guy that probably just smoked once in high school, making him the drug authority in this thread.

On the subject though, ate a shit ton of edibles once, got super high and emptied my fucking pantry of any and all snack food, ended up throwing up and I'm pretty sure I gained a ton of weight just from that.

[Anonymous No.14309447]

>>14309431
>said while posting a soyjak with a twitter filename
Et tu, redditor?

[Anonymous No.14309553]

>>14309431
Go back.

[Anonymous No.14309972]

>>14305735
>>14305724
>>14305720
Honestly, living like a king there, mate. You've earned a nice meal.

[Anonymous No.14310309]

I figured out that they don't put enough cheese in the cheesy gordita crunch anymore so instead I now just order crunchy tacos and a couple of quesedillas and wrap them around the taco.

[Anonymous No.14310326]

>>14309401
Kek. I bet it tasted all right.

[Anonymous No.14310337]

>>14309414
>Literally no amount of food was satisfying for over a year.
I dieted super hard for a year to lose a ton of weight and now I seem to have developed a BED because of this feeling. No amount of anything provides satisfaction, I always want to eat more even when I know I'm full. I even desire to food when I'm so full that I feel like I might die. Life is pain.

[Anonymous No.14310682]

>15yo
>super fat (not anymore) because my mother had no idea what portions were, like 300lbs
>in airport terminal waiting on connecting flights
>pissed at stewardesses because I heard them making fun of me on the previous flight
>if I can't get revenge on them, I will at least get revenge on the airline as a whole
>check my wallet, had $27 left
>tell mom I want to get a milkshake and I'm out of money
>she spots me another $20
>buy ipecac from knockoff CVS
>buy 6 milkshakes
>manage to down them all
>feel fucking awful
>but not enough to vomit
>board plane
>bought tickets late so I'm not near my mom
>cold sweating at 10000 feet
>down bottle of ipecac (okay like two swigs because I couldn't hold any more down)
>about a minute passes, start to think I'm never going to lose it
>then suddenly, projectile vomit, like a geyser
>angle head up for maximum arc
>stewardess runs up, covered in it, women screaming two or three rows up
>can barely stop vomiting long enough to catch my breath
>second stewardess yelling "aim at the floor! aim at the floor!"
>this only causes me to swerve my head to her, ejecting another round of vomit onto her
>other passengers dry heaving, I can hear at least a couple actually vomit
>stewardess finally gets a bag over my mouth
>vomit either so much or so forcefully that the bag rips, splashing down on the lady next to me
>stewardess takes me to toilet
>finish vomiting in there
>toss ipecac bottle in trash and cover it with more trash
>walk back, people still retching, those not are looking at me with daggers or pure disgust
>when we land my mom smacks the shit out of me
>questioned by airport security and police, no evidence of intentional action
>banned from TWA for life
>grounded for the rest of the semester
>worth it

[Anonymous No.14310743]

I used to stack tacquitos in a pyramid like this and cover it in shredded cheese, then mack on it with a shitload of sour cream. Just thinking of it makes my mouth water.

I lost about 100 lbs (5'8" went from 260 to 160) but I always think about pigging out. I can't imagine how much time I took off my life from being so goddamn fat.

[Anonymous No.14310754]

>>14287200
Pretty based.

[Anonymous No.14310774]

>>14295961
How many times have you told this story? I see it every few months it feels

[Anonymous No.14310782]

This was from years back in highschool, and has less to do with how much I ate and more to do with my fatass desire to eat
>be stuck at airport, continual delays due to snow
>discover Chicago has a vending machine for their famous hotdogs (my first time) near my terminal
>sit across from fat goth dude
>enjoying my hotdogs
>night is crawling in, the airports starting to close
>staff comes in, starts telling people one by one that the flight's being delayed until tomorrow
>goth guy hasn't moved for hours
>he's dead
>nobody noticed because of the goth makeup
>staff starts to realize when he's unresponsive
>ruckus is disturbing my hotdog experience
>retrieve more vending machine hotdog
>realize at the machine that I'm a witness
>realize that would mean being questioned, and abandoning my hotdog
>decide to leave with my hotdog and pretend I wasn't sitting there when I get back
>leave the airport without being questioned
I was fat enough to watch a man die without realizing it

[Anonymous No.14310790]

>>14285697
I once dipped my hand between my sweaty butt-cheeks and was horrified by the smell. In a desperate attempt to remove the stench from hand, I tried to lick it clean. Bad move.

[Anonymous No.14310834]

>>14303572
>the ice cream method
Been there done that, dear Lord.

As a bulimic, errday is fat day. Most recent fat I can remember is
- 2 tubs of cookie dough ice cream
- 1 bag of French Onion Sunchips
- 600gram bag of tater tots smothered in bbq sauce
- 6 pack of glazed doughnuts

Came up golden.

[Anonymous No.14310844]

>>14310682
This made me laugh a lot. You swear be this you

[Anonymous No.14310861]

i ate a full bag of these just a few nights ago

i was hungry and had them at midnight(cooked obv)
im also a sticc person

[Anonymous No.14311043]

>>14310337
i was terrified i was going to be that hungry forever. overshooting my original weight and having 3 normal sized meals and some snacks instead of 2 larger meals eventually got my body back to normal-ish.
you'll probably have to gain weight, but if you started heavy it shouldn't require overshooting your starting weight. good luck anon

[Anonymous No.14311047]

>>14300154
Good genes, could be a natural powerlifter if you took care to unleash your potential. Take care of your health those no effort mucles your mum and dad gave you will be mind-blowing.

[Anonymous No.14311117]

>>14305136
I often chase vodka with heavy cream when I’m running low on it (not enough to cook with, and I don’t drink coffee).
For some reason it grosses people the fuck out, but c’mon. It’s fine. White Russians are a thing, too.

[Anonymous No.14311641]

>>14285697
>>14285697
>>14285697

Bought 500g of milk powder, two loafs of brioche and a jar of date syrup.

Mixed milk with the milk powder to make a thick dip/cream and ripped of pieces of brioche to dip in and soak it up and then into the syrup

No regrets at all

[Anonymous No.14312155]

>>14295957
hi randy ur shits must be massive

[Anonymous No.14312237]

Probably just drinking a pint of double cream mixed with jam.

[Anonymous No.14312239]

>>14310743
>Mack on it

[Anonymous No.14312245]

>>14285771
With all that oil wouldn't he have had the runs, but I guess the drugs counteracted the oily shits.

[Anonymous No.14312255]

>>14287200
unironically living the dream
I love drinking a cold beer while in the bath`

[Anonymous No.14312258]

>>14287200
goo goo g'joob

[Anonymous No.14312365]

ate a big ass steak, drank a 12 pack of ipa, then ate 3 pickled sausages. i had the most violent watery shits the next day.

[Anonymous No.14312912]

work ordered a bunch of pizzas for making an event out of higher ups birthday and I do overnight security and ate 3 and a half or so extra large Domino's pizzas that night and maybe two 2 liters of soda, wasn't supposed to so I blamed it on the illegal cleaning lady janitor that barely spoke English and said she took them home for her family and she got fired