/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14264082]

>eat sharp cheddar
>mouth gets cut

Every time

[Anonymous No.14264099]

>be op
>suck multiple cocks

Every hour

[Anonymous No.14264136]

>eat catfish
>find out later it was actually a steak

[Anonymous No.14264143]

>be OP's mom
>get fucked by me

every night

[Anonymous No.14264145]

>eat donut holes
>still hungry because they're just empty space

[Anonymous No.14264148]

>>14264082
>EAT SHIT
>DIE NIGGER

[Anonymous No.14264151]

>>14264082
Buy dull cheddar then OP

[Anonymous No.14264171]

>go to steak restaurant
>I got a rare steak

[Anonymous No.14264321]

>>14264082
>eat chilli
>its not freezing cold

[Anonymous No.14264333]

>eat blue cheese
>feel depressed afterwards

[Anonymous No.14264425]

>>14264321
>>14264333
Kek

[Anonymous No.14264531]

>use waffle iron
>golf ball only travels 2 feet

[Anonymous No.14264547]

>>14264082
>eat new york pizza
>realize it's not as good as detroit style

[Anonymous No.14264592]

>drink ice-cold drink
>it’s not solid

[Anonymous No.14264609]

>order whiskey sour
>it's shaken, not whisked

[Anonymous No.14264642]

>order shrimp fried rice
>find out later the cook is actually a man named josè
wtf false advertising

[Anonymous No.14264700]

>Eat Frozen Food
>You have to heat up in order to eat it.

[Anonymous No.14264710]

>eat steamed hams
>they're actually grilled

[Anonymous No.14264712]

>pour syrup on pancakes
>suddenly I’m the racist

[Anonymous No.14264724]

>eat spotted dick
>doesn't make you gay

[Anonymous No.14264738]

>eat pint of blueberries
>shit my pants

[Anonymous No.14264759]

>eat cheesecake
>can’t stop smiling

[Anonymous No.14264793]

Sharp cheddar capn crunch

[Anonymous No.14264837]

>>14264642
>>order shrimp fried rice
>>find out later the cook is actually a normal-sized man

[Anonymous No.14264842]

>>14264759
This is cute I like u

[Anonymous No.14264885]

>>14264837
>order shrimp fried rice
>find out the cook is a human
>he had a fiancee once
>every night he masturbates then drinks smirnoff until he forgets he masturbated
>he adopted a useless mutty dog that will probably starve and/or go feral when he inevitably dies
>avengers: infinity war "changed his life"
>he has a tinder with one picture and a bio about jim and pam because that's what ladies like
>he actually likes the mcchicken

[Anonymous No.14265371]

>>14264082
>buy cheese pizza online
>postcum shame envelops my soul

[Anonymous No.14265387]

>buy imitation crab
>it starts poking at my keyboard

[Anonymous No.14265448]

>order 2 root beers
>get 1.41 beers

[Anonymous No.14265477]

>get roasted peppers
>cry from jokes at my expense

[Anonymous No.14265486]

>make a milkshake
>tastes like milk with a handful of bubbles forming at the top

i dont get it?

[Anonymous No.14265488]

>try drinking dry sherry
>it evaporates before I can finish it

[Anonymous No.14265493]

>order rare steak
>it's just a common steak

[Anonymous No.14265541]

>>14264145
kek

[Anonymous No.14265577]

>eat canned tuna
>the tunas never been to jail

[Anonymous No.14265600]

>get stuffed peppers
>I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude

[Anonymous No.14265625]

>>14264531
Lol floppy club

[Anonymous No.14265727]

>odor pizza
>(You) show up at my door empty handed

[Anonymous No.14265730]

>bye a hamburger
>allied forces carpet bomb a german town

[Anonymous No.14265773]

>beat eggs
>They never even wronged me

[Anonymous No.14265862]

>smoke grass
>doesn't taste that much better

[Anonymous No.14265980]

>order an hamburger
>no ham

[Anonymous No.14265995]

>buy extra virgin olive oil
>still tastes like cock
Everytime

[Anonymous No.14266000]

>>14264712

[Anonymous No.14266069]

>cumin
>actually came on her tits

[Anonymous No.14266080]

>make penne pasta
>can't get the flavor of cock out of my mouth

[Anonymous No.14266081]

>ate some spaghetti
>didn't get any spag
fucking rip off

[Anonymous No.14266096]

>go to local grocery store
>ask for my riggatoni
>make my first black friend, Tony

[Anonymous No.14266186]

>order chicken fried steak
>the cook is a man, not a chicken

[Anonymous No.14266199]

>>14264099
>>14264143
>>14264148
Based OP slayers

[Anonymous No.14266205]

>>14264885
>>he actually likes the mcchicken
haha yeah... W-who would do that, right? Uh, crazy...

[Anonymous No.14266219]

This is the worst thread on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.14267679]

>>14266219
It's actually one of the best.

[Anonymous No.14267687]

>eat fried chicken and watermelon
>rob a liquor store

[Anonymous No.14268932]

>>14266219
Only because you posted in it

[Anonymous No.14268967]

>>14266219
Now it is the worst.

[Anonymous No.14268975]

>>14264592
This is true brainlet tier. Kys

[Anonymous No.14269010]

>>14266219
i could name at least 2 worse threads

[Anonymous No.14269036]

>stock up on cheese pizza for bday weekend
>party van and cops arrive early

[Anonymous No.14269320]

>>14264082
>go poo in toilet
>don't flush because if it's brown, stay in town

[Anonymous No.14270064]

>have mushroom
>feel full

[Anonymous No.14270103]

>>14265727

[Anonymous No.14270131]

>>14264082

That isn't a chicken, its a cat!

[Anonymous No.14270135]

>order cheese burger
>the burger is made of meat, not cheese

[Anonymous No.14270469]

>>14264171
Is that a Pokémon?

[Anonymous No.14270746]

>>14265448

[Anonymous No.14272379]

>visits /ck/ food & cooking
>nobody knows how to cook

[Anonymous No.14272413]

>train by day
>joe rogan podcast by night

All day.

[Anonymous No.14272449]

>cast iron
>Not enough mana
FML

[Anonymous No.14272491]

>scramble eggs
>have to rearrange them

[Anonymous No.14272531]

>>14269036

based oldfag

[Anonymous No.14272536]

>stain less steel
>stains more steels

[Anonymous No.14272550]

>Steel cut oats
>Arrested by the oat constable

[Anonymous No.14272554]

>>14264136

[Anonymous No.14272556]

>>14267687
DATS RACIST!!!!!!!!!!1

[Anonymous No.14272569]

>>14265600
kek

[Anonymous No.14272597]

>>14272556
That's more a southern thing than a black thing. Bonus points if he salts the melon.

[Anonymous No.14272621]

>>14266219
It's not even the worst thread on /ck/ by a large margin.

[Anonymous No.14272645]

>get self-rising flour
>it levitates and floats away into the sky

[Anonymous No.14273246]

>>14272645
Kek

[Anonymous No.14273494]

>poop poop pee
>poo pee

a pee pee poop

[Anonymous No.14273531]

>>14264592
You dense motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.14273587]

>instant mashed potatoes
>isn't instant

[Anonymous No.14273649]

>>14273587
>fried dried, powdery yellow shit
doesn't sound too marketable

[Anonymous No.14273888]

>>14266219
>wurst thread
>not even about sausages

[Anonymous No.14273935]

>cracks eggplant open
>no eggs

[Anonymous No.14273949]

>eat beefaroni
>the macaroni is not made of beef

[Anonymous No.14273960]

>>14264082
>order a big mac
>can't haul semi-trailers with it

[Anonymous No.14273965]

>orders cheese pizza
>gets arrested

[Anonymous No.14273988]

>>14273965
>delivers cheese pizza
>dies