/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.14092831]

CHERRY SEASON IS HERE BOYS
TIME TO GET CONSTIPATED

[Anonymous No.14092838]

seed swallowing faction assemble

[Anonymous No.14092839]

>>14092831
I have colitis and what is constipation

[Anonymous No.14092844]

Cherries constipate you?

[Anonymous No.14092890]

I'm already constipated

[Anonymous No.14092901]

>>14092831
stop swallowing pits

[Anonymous No.14092921]

>>14092831

>eat 7 cherries
>store all the seeds in my cheek and spit them out and pretend i'm using leech seed

[Anonymous No.14092951]

dark bing cherry pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream is the best

[Anonymous No.14092959]

>>14092921
absolutely based

[Anonymous No.14093228]

>>14092838
>seed swallowing faction
Might wanna change that name

[Anonymous No.14093242]

>>14092831
time to get unconstipated

[Anonymous No.14093437]

>>14093242
this. unconstipated very quickly and suddenly.

[Anonymous No.14093459]

>>14092831
ive never swalloed a cherry seed in my life, are you retarded or something?

[Anonymous No.14093463]

>>14093437
time to get diarrheas

[Anonymous No.14093479]

>>14092844
Do cherries affect regularity, somehow? I have never noticed this.

[Anonymous No.14093855]

Fresh cherries are the cleanest, best pleasure.

[Anonymous No.14093869]

imagine eating shit that grows on a fucking tree

[Anonymous No.14093891]

[Anonymous No.14094030]

>>14092844
The American body violently react to healthy food in bizarre ways

[Anonymous No.14094134]

>>14093869
I guess your mother grows on a tree then.

[Anonymous No.14094157]

>>14093855
Based and Cody Green pilled

[Anonymous No.14094189]

Last year I got a bag of cherries for 3.99. Very cheap but sadly that store closed down so now ill have to pay a lot more.

[Anonymous No.14094203]

Don’t forget your fresh milk....

On this day in 1850, after only 16 months in office, President Zachary Taylor dies after a brief illness. ... The bacteria were mostly likely present in the water or iced milk Taylor drank, though other sources have claimed that Taylor died of gastroenteritis caused by the highly acidic cherries combined with fresh milk.

[Anonymous No.14094681]

>>14093479
I've heard from everyone else that cherries make them shit like crazy
But then I also know a few people like me that get blocked up by them
Really depends on how much you eat

[Anonymous No.14094709]

>>14092844
cherries give you diahrea if you eat too many on an empty stomach. like three pounds in one sitting

[Anonymous No.14094741]

>>14092831
remember anons two cherry pits all it takes to kill yourself

[Anonymous No.14095740]

OH FUUUUGGGG BEST TIME OF THE YEAR AHHGGGGG

[Anonymous No.14095752]

>>14095740
I eat a bag a day, btw. Nothing weird happens with my poo, though. It's a little softer, but not diarrhea mode.

[Anonymous No.14095760]

>>14092838
>cherry ball garglers association

[Anonymous No.14095763]

>>14094741
You need way more than that. I swallowed a bunch one night and all it did was give me a migraine the next day. Worst migraine of my life, though.

[Anonymous No.14095767]

>>14092831
>being so violently american that a high fiber food shuts down your digestive system

just fucking end it already

[Anonymous No.14095777]

>>14095763
Actually, I looked it up. They have to be crushed in order to kill you but it can take one or two.

[Anonymous No.14096125]

Cherries are the most overrated fruit ever

[Anonymous No.14096141]

>>14096125
Because they look the best

[Anonymous No.14096209]

>>14093891
Late stage pseudo-capitalism was a mistake

[Anonymous No.14096342]

>>14096209
How do you know what stage it is until it finishes?

[Anonymous No.14096410]

>>14092951
you'd be right if you said a sour cherry cultivar. alas, you chose a cherry for bitches.

[Anonymous No.14096455]

>>14096141
cherries look like little red butts

[Anonymous No.14096608]

>>14096455
That's it. I'm buying cherries now. I have a thing for food that looks like butts.

[Anonymous No.14097682]

*is the best cherry in your path*

[Anonymous No.14097704]

>>14097682
Based. Almost impossible to get a tart or sour one unlike with inferior r*d cherries

[Anonymous No.14097709]

>>14092831
My parents have a couple cherry trees but they have live a 10 hour window to pick as many ripe cherries as they can before the birds completely eviscerate them.

[Anonymous No.14097713]

>>14097709
Fuck birds. You need more cats.

[Anonymous No.14097722]

>>14097713
I got a siamese recently and he's a total cunt, named him Dale because he likes to do laps around the house at full fuckign speed

[Anonymous No.14097725]

>>14097682

[Anonymous No.14097728]

>>14097722
Is it that people always end up with cunt cats or do they not know how to treat cats? I've never had an asshole cat, and I've had over a dozen in 33 years (not counting when I was an unaware toddler).

[Anonymous No.14097752]

>>14097728
I've had plenty of cats and all of them were great and docile but this little fuck has too much energy

[Anonymous No.14097758]

>>14097752
Lol those eyes. Well, I guess I'm the odd man out.

[Anonymous No.14097860]

>>14097752
Siamese cats are dicks. Also do most stores already have cherries stocked? I really want some but will have to whoop OPs ASS if I go there and there aren't any

[Anonymous No.14097865]

>>14097860
Adverts came in advertising cherries. They're usually expensive as fuck and low quality at the beginning of the season.

[Anonymous No.14097882]

>>14097865
I just found this. Still on the fence about going out for them. I want it but p much avoid the store until I have a good shopping list 2 avoid unnecessary exposure

[Anonymous No.14097913]

>>14097882
I'd hold off. This batch is likely first harvest from SoCal or some shit. Higher altitude/latitude cherries will be around in about a month

[Anonymous No.14097918]

[Anonymous No.14097931]

>>14092844
they make you shit
old people love them

[Anonymous No.14097954]

>>14094203
just fart bro lmao

[Anonymous No.14097986]

>>14094157
They don't around all year. I would want them again and again.

[Anonymous No.14098242]

I moved out of California and there's no cherries in this other state fml
I fucking love cherries, fuck!

[Anonymous No.14098311]

>>14097913
That's what I thought, this seems 2 early for cherry season. I ended up not going. I'll stick up and freeze whenever I find a good batch

[Anonymous No.14098342]

>>14097704
I have three tart cherry trees in my back yard but one of them is dying.

[Anonymous No.14098364]

>>14098342
Hopefully I'll get enough to make a pie this year. The last several years it rained so goddamn much they rotted before they were even all the way ripe.

[Anonymous No.14098365]

>>14093891
Why do you have baby hands?

[Anonymous No.14099407]

>Be me, poor Uni student living with 4 other students in a shared house
>One of the girls' parents owns a fruit plantation
>They visit every few months and bring a fuckload of fruit with them
>More than all of us combined could eat before it goes bad
>One time they bring a box of cherries (along with about a dozen other fruits)
>I spend an entire night watching movies and eating cherries, cause they were delicious and I had no other food
>Fill a bowl with the pits
>Wake up about 4am, can't move from the pain inside my intestines
>Crawling to the toilet
>In tears
>It's too far
>Going to die
>One of the housemates has a second bathroom/toilet connecting her room that's this side of the house
>Woke her up with my cries of agony outside her door
>She's encouraging me to keep going, like a proud Mother at the Special Olympics
>Don't make it in time
>Shit a little on the floor at the foot of her bed
>Leave a trail behind me to the shower
>It's easier to get to
>Shitting in the shower with the tap on to wash it down
>Pretty embarrassed that she saw me crying
>Don't speak to her until she moved out

[Anonymous No.14099419]

>>14099407
Based

[Anonymous No.14099525]

>>14092921
DO you make a machine gun sound too ?

[Anonymous No.14099589]

I made cherry punch yesterday. It's mostly not-cherry but as cherries are the largest contributor (something like 45%; apple is 40% and the rest is 50/50 pear and white grape) and a much stronger taste, it's cherry punch. Good as shit. Got that li'l bit o' cherry tartness going and that cherry flavour and the sweetness of the other juices. Best ever.

[Anonymous No.14100041]

>>14092831
Jokes on you OP I'm already chronically constipated

[Anonymous No.14100053]

>>14097752
Ansolutely gorgeous. My Siamese cat is also a bit crazy but a total sweetheart.
Take good care of your kot anon

[Anonymous No.14100118]

>>14099589
Mix some watered down gem clear with that and a pinch of salt and you've really got something, anon

[Anonymous No.14100129]

>>14097728
I absolutely fucking despise cats but I had one and I treated him well and he was a good cat and not at all a cunt. For some reason, cats all fucking love me even though I wish death upon them all, mostly because strays keep shitting in my gardens. Go to some bitch's house and she's all like
>OMG Anon! Fuckface McKittington usually hates everyone but he loves you! You must be a keeper ^_^

[Anonymous No.14100152]

>>14100129
We live in the country and have had cats be dumped fairly regularly, so far we've kept 7 and the only 2 'bad' ones had long white hair. No problem with the blacks, greys or orange tabby, just the whites. Been wondering if that's actually a thing

[Anonymous No.14100163]

>>14097682
WA bros sound off

Rainier Cherry best cherry and at affordable prices

[Anonymous No.14100169]

>grow alpine strawberries, raspberries and cherries
>birds and squirrels eat them all