Pretentious or stupid food terms that annoy you

[Anonymous No.13937110]

>Our famous [...]
>Umami
>Moreish
>Rustic
>Farm-to-table
>Green
>Foodie
>Mouthfeel
>Yummy
>Just like mom used to make it
>Bowl (I keep seeing this everywhere, as if serving food in a fucking bowl is special and trendy, specifically asian food)
>Homemade (when clearly not made in restaurant)
>Deconstructed
>Artisan (in particular when describing bread)

[Anonymous No.13937121]

some of these don't bother me much, but fuck farm-to-table. I'm really tired of zoomers and yuppies jerking off 'rustic life' as if it was something to aspire to and not pure monotony.

[Anonymous No.13937133]

Hey anon, come try our famously moreish deconstructed green foodie bowl! It's homemade with farm-to-table ingredients; artisan food done rustic style, just like how mom used to make it! It's an absolute umami bomb with exquisitely yummy mouthfeel!

[Anonymous No.13937138]

>>13937110
>bowl
Only one I agree with you on. This has to stop.

[Anonymous No.13937148]

>Elevates the dish
No. I'm only 5'7 I want to be able to reach my dish

[Anonymous No.13937166]

>gruel so good I want to suck it down like daddies cummies

man snapchat food reviews were a mistake

[Anonymous No.13937168]

>>13937148

[Anonymous No.13937176]

Worked at the Best Buy World HQ in Minnesota. They have a cafe there that uses these buzz words and chalk it up to "marketing". It works. A normal frozen ear of corn is suddenly worth $3 more because it's "Heirloom", even though it's totally not.

[Anonymous No.13937185]

>>13937121

As if shitpoating on an interactive scrimshaw webinar from your parents basement 9 hours a day isn’t.. what’s wrong with farmers? Making food and feeding people is a noble cause.

[Anonymous No.13937189]

>>13937110
>youtube
>non GMO
>eceleb
>yummo
>organic
>free range
>vinegary shit

>or>ganic

[Anonymous No.13937193]

>>13937110
>mouthfeel
do we have to bring this up every day?

[Anonymous No.13937194]

>>13937185
I have nothing but respect for farmers and people who contribute to the global supply chain. What bothers me is wistful lifestyle tourists who think farming is gazing at a field in the morning while eating avocado toast and drinking artisan coffee from their french press.

[Anonymous No.13937202]

>>13937110
Autolyse, but pronounced like a pseudo-Frenchie

[Anonymous No.13937208]

You're fucking autistic, OP.

[Anonymous No.13937215]

>>13937189
>>non GMO
But is it gluten free?
I like it when its on the label of a product that would in no way have gluten in it.

[Anonymous No.13937217]

>>13937194

What does that have to do with restaurants who go out of their way to source locally and seasonally?
I don’t disagree that those people are fags but farm to table is more of an ethos a restaurant operates by than a buzzword.

I saw a premade container of clarifies butter for $10 at the store for maybe 10-12 oz.

>ghee
>organic
>grass fed
>non-gmo
>gluten free

Now THAT is some low IQ consoomer shit

[Anonymous No.13937222]

>>13937193
Just say texture, consistency or better yet how the food actually feels in the mouth. Mouthfeel sounds like something a buzzfeed blogger would describe food as, and just saying something has "nice mouthfeel" doesn't mean anything on it's own

[Anonymous No.13937229]

>>13937217

>free range

Forgot that one. The label looked like one of those horrible ad spam sites it was absolutely ridiculous

[Anonymous No.13937230]

>>13937110
>Gourmet

[Anonymous No.13937238]

> an orgasm in your mouth

Has mostly disappeared the last years and thank god for that :D

[Anonymous No.13937260]

>>13937217
it's just semantics, 'farm-to-table' irritates me, locally grown is fine

[Anonymous No.13937312]

>>13937260
'farm-to-table'
'truth-to-power'

[Anonymous No.13937334]

Voted by who? And where? When did this happen and why haven't I ever been invited to participate in this vote?

[Anonymous No.13937342]

>aioli

[Anonymous No.13937380]

>>13937342
Why does that bother you?

[Anonymous No.13937397]

>'za
It just makes me especially angry

Like
> I went to try some 'go 'za
When talking about how you bought deep dish at walmart

[Anonymous No.13937398]

>>13937342

I’ll fight you dude aioli is great

[Anonymous No.13937400]

>>13937110
>>Just like mom used to make it
Uwu

[Anonymous No.13937409]

>>13937189
>vinegary shit
Very unbased of you

[Anonymous No.13937414]

>>13937380
Because it’s usually just mayo which contains egg. Aioli shouldn’t have that shit.

[Anonymous No.13937416]

>>13937110
>Pretentious
This word annoys me, it's been co opted to mean: anything that boomers don't understand.

[Anonymous No.13937436]

>>13937222
I thogt it was difference beteen how sand grinds agast youre teetth and how it feels in yor mouth as a whole?
Like grnchgrnch that's texture
But skrvhchslfch that's mouthfeel?

[Anonymous No.13937454]

>>13937222
mouthfeel =/= texture. Mouthfeel is exactly what is says on the box but every fucking retard on the low iq board is so keen to be butt hurt they can't figure it out. Temperature, as well as other things your mouth can feel that is not simply the texture. The sensation of burning from capsaicin piperine or zingerone, irritation from fine powder. How fucking retarded are you to have a mouth and eat your entire life but not realise it can feel more than the texture of food? HUR ITS JUST TEXTURE truly is the clearest signal of a two digit iq.

[Anonymous No.13937460]

>>13937414
doesn't mayo always contain egg?

[Anonymous No.13937462]

>>13937454
Mouthfeel has been used by trannies for sucking “feminine” dick

[Anonymous No.13937468]

>>13937460
Yes; but a lot of these shitty hipster places use mayo with a bit of garlic and call it aioli.

[Anonymous No.13937491]

>>13937468
thefuck lol

[Anonymous No.13937492]

>>13937460
Yes it is made from egg yolks.

[Anonymous No.13937503]

>>13937260
I've worked in a restaurant that worked really hard to build relationships with local farmers and get produce directly from them. It is hard as fuck. The produce is better, but its so impractical and impacts your profits. Also farm to table is different from locally grown. Locally grown means it still could go through a market or a merchant, farm to table means you're dealing with farmers inconsistent supply, lack of delivery, reduced quality control, poor communication etc. There is a reason 99% of restaurant food isn't bought direct from a farm.

[Anonymous No.13937515]

>>13937492
I was just confused with >>13937414

[Anonymous No.13937530]

>>13937454
It's a very reddit like desire to appear smarter than everyone else that drives the autism, you're correct.

[Anonymous No.13937583]

>>13937133
I'll pay you $1mil right now for franchise rights, but I have one important question before we sign the paperwork. What is the name of this world class establishment?

[Anonymous No.13937599]

pasta water

[Anonymous No.13937636]

>>13937110
>Green
worst color, fuck green

[Anonymous No.13937654]

The fuck is wrong with bowls? They are easier to hold, comfy and warm.

[Anonymous No.13937660]

>>13937202
And how exactly are you pronouncing sauté? Flambé? Bain-Marie? Crême brulée? Frappé? Hors d'Œuvres? Gratin? Jus? Mirepoix? Herbs de Province? Pâté? Roux?
How do y'all motherfuckers even cook without uttering a single French word?

[Anonymous No.13937719]

>>13937660
Burnt french itt, fetch a fire extinguisher bois

[Anonymous No.13937726]

>>13937654
Enchilada bowl

[Anonymous No.13937733]

>>13937719
I'm not even a frog tho

[Anonymous No.13937754]

anything coasties do that Europeans don't is going to be insufferable 100% of the time

death to the east and west coasts

[Anonymous No.13937761]

>>13937454
neck yourself coastie runt freak

[Anonymous No.13937767]

>>13937660
>how do you pronounce le epic french words
as anglo as possible to make frogs seeth

[Anonymous No.13937777]

>>13937654
It's the "trendy" asian fusion places and smoothie stands in malls trying to sell their rice and yoghurt bowls with assorted toppings as quick and healthy meals for college hipsters and women

[Anonymous No.13937812]

>>13937761
Suck my dick you fucking cuck faggot.

[Anonymous No.13937830]

>>13937583
OP(c)

On the store fronts it is styled as >OP in lime green on very pale dull blue background. Franchise colour scheme is green, blue, and brown with some black and white.

Now wire me that 1mill.

[Anonymous No.13937861]

>>13937812
seeth on you desperate wannabe euro

[Anonymous No.13937872]

>>13937414
Retard, mayonnaise always contains egg. Aioli is mayonnaise with garlic.

[Anonymous No.13937885]

>>13937660
>Herbs de Province
Herbes de Provence. 'Province' has another meaning.

[Anonymous No.13937887]

>>13937885
I get them from the provinces so they're provincial herbs

[Anonymous No.13937897]

>Organic
>Local
>Farm-to-table
>100 mile
>Free range
>Fair trade
>Vegan

[Anonymous No.13937910]

>>13937110
Organic

[Anonymous No.13937928]

>>13937660
>sauté? Flambé? Bain-Marie? Crême brulée? Frappé? Hors d'Œuvres? Gratin? Jus? Mirepoix? Herbs de Province? Pâté? Roux?

>fry
>flambeing does literally nothing so i have no need for this term
>water bath
>toasted cream
>pointless term
>starter
>with breadcrumbs
>juice
>aromatics
>herb blend
>paste
>thickener

[Anonymous No.13937934]

>>13937110
all these daggot can't stand marketing terms give one sentence to market your food

Let's judge how insufferable you are

[Anonymous No.13937948]

>>13937934
"whiter than you _____"

[Anonymous No.13938209]

Delish

[Anonymous No.13938227]

>>13937110
unctuousness. not sure how to spell not going to look it up. come to think of it I don't know what it means

[Anonymous No.13938283]

>>13937777
literally all four of those photos look good and now I'm feeling angry because you are kind of right. stop making me such a hateful person.

[Anonymous No.13938302]

Au jus as a noun. If you're going to use the French, at least do it properly.

[Anonymous No.13938318]

>>13937660
You forgot wa la

[Anonymous No.13938319]

>>13938302
first non-autistic post itt
Everything else sounds like the rantings of a flyover who just learned how people in cities with over 400k people act.

[Anonymous No.13938343]

>>13938302
>>13938319
kek cringe subhuman mutts trying to larp as people thinking anyone actually bothers with stupid frog shit

here in england we just say whatever we want

[Anonymous No.13938352]

>here in england we just say whatever we want
I can tell

[Anonymous No.13938357]

>ONIONS, CELERY AND BELL PEPPER IS THE HOLY TRINITY!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.13938366]

>toothsome
>unctuous
>zesty

[Anonymous No.13938374]

>>13938366
i love pupinia. too bad she got old

[Anonymous No.13938380]

>>13937110
>Umami
>Pretentious
Depends on the situation Anon.
If your a good scientist, or need to specify the flavor, it's a good word.

But if you're eating bargain bin Chinese food, and you aren't reviewbrah pre surgery,

Then don't speak of it.

[Anonymous No.13938389]

>grass-fed

[Anonymous No.13938411]

>>13937660
>And how exactly are you pronouncing sauté? Flambé? Bain-Marie? Crême brulée? Frappé? Hors d'Œuvres? Gratin? Jus? Mirepoix? Herbs de Province? Pâté? Roux?

Like this
https://voca.ro/aF6s9Ea5TEJ
>mfw

[Anonymous No.13938425]

>>13938411
where did you get a picture of the quintessential american coastie?

[Anonymous No.13938431]

>>13938380
>But if you're eating bargain bin Chinese food, and you aren't reviewbrah pre surgery,

[Anonymous No.13938438]

>>13938431
LOOK MOM I QUOTED SOMEONE WITHOUT ANY COMMENT!!!!

[Anonymous No.13938524]

>>13938438
>>13938431
I actually forgot my comment lol.
I was hoping the original guy would explain what he means. I like and watch reviewbrah but more-so like his podcast. Do you think he changed or something after he fell? And how is that related to the word umami?

[Anonymous No.13938600]

>>13937222
agreed, sounds like 1984 newspeak

[Anonymous No.13938890]

>>13937660
Like a white American, faggot

[Anonymous No.13938910]

>>13938411
lmao

[Anonymous No.13938984]

>>13937660
When LBJ was vp to JFK, most of the Kennedy crowd despised LBJ for not being as sophisticated as they were. Among other things, they thought it hilarious when he referred to the whore's doves at a dinner.

They called him and his wife Rufus Cornpone and Little Pork Chop behind their backs.

[Anonymous No.13940661]

>>13937133

[Anonymous No.13941842]

>>13937110
If I see
>no artificial flavors or coloring
on the label I refuse to buy it. Fuck that hipster nonsense.

[Anonymous No.13941895]

>>13937872

Real allioli should not contain egg. It's literally just garlic, oil and salt. Unfortunately it's a pain in the arse to make without splitting the emulsion (it takes like 20 mins of mixing in a mortar and pestle while very slowly adding the oil) so every recipe nowadays uses egg, which turns it into a garlic mayo recipe.

[Anonymous No.13941951]

>>13937189
kys

[Anonymous No.13941959]

>>13938411
lol

[Anonymous No.13942099]

>>13937928
I mostly agree with you, but
fry and sauté differ
frying is "dry" and the excess of hot oil evaporates water from the surface of the meat (or whatever else) and you throw the oil away when you're done with it
sauteing is "wet" and lower amount of oil means the juices mix with the oil to some degree, come over and flavor the oil, which is part of the dish

pate is typically understood specifically as liver paste
roux is specific type of thickener, starch or xanthan gun isn't interchangeable with roux, despite all being thickeners

[Anonymous No.13942139]

>outta bounds
>bomb.com
>one way ticket to flavor Town™
>shut the front door!
>slip slap caddilac jack

[Anonymous No.13942148]

>>13937238
but it feels like that

[Anonymous No.13942599]

>>13938600
>He is to stupid to understand it, so it must be bad.
Wouldn't more words to describe a broader range of things be the opposite of new speak? Oh that's right you were too retarded to understand 'mouthfeel' let alone 1984.