/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13925423]

Post the most pretentious version of pizza (or any other food) you can find. The more pretentious, artsy, deconstructed, the better.

[Anonymous No.13925428]

[Anonymous No.13925447]

>>13925423
It's pizza, mate. This is a stupid thread.

[Anonymous No.13925459]

>>13925447
cope

[Anonymous No.13925500]

>>13925459
If you're going to post "pretentious" pizzas, at least post silly ones with caviar and gold leaf. Op is as basic as it gets, it's just not shitty.

[Anonymous No.13925521]

>>13925500

[Anonymous No.13926020]

[Anonymous No.13926041]

[Anonymous No.13926156]

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/toast/

[Anonymous No.13926178]

>>13926156
holy fuck that looks good

[Anonymous No.13926197]

>>13926178
t:cringelord

[Anonymous No.13926203]

>>13925423
nothing pretentious about that pizza

[Anonymous No.13926205]

>>13926203
except that one overly basil flavored bite compared with the rest non-basil flavored bites, which could be easily remedied

[Anonymous No.13926208]

>>13926156
Is that soft shell crabbie?

[Anonymous No.13926210]

>>13926208
i lost the link but it said soft shell something in the description, yes.

[Anonymous No.13926212]

>>13925423

[Anonymous No.13926240]

>>13926020
>be me
>open thumbnail
>'is that peanut butter...?'
>scroll down
>Peanut Butter - Sriracha Toast

Goddammit.

[Anonymous No.13926254]

>>13925423
its literally just tomato cheese bread and a single leaf how is that pretentious those are the most basic ingredients in pizza

[Anonymous No.13926278]

>>13926254
It's pretentiously basic

[Anonymous No.13926294]

>>13925423
Thats a perfectly acceptable pizza. The worst shit is when they sprinkle 15 pounds of rocket salad on top and cover it with dressing. Might as well have ordered a salad.

[Anonymous No.13926303]

>>13926294
Arugula pizza is based and redpilled

[Anonymous No.13926305]

>>13926294
>rocket salad

i don't understand this terminology

[Anonymous No.13926327]

>>13925423

[Anonymous No.13926357]

>>13926327
Lol

[Anonymous No.13926372]

>>13926305
Arugula is rockette or something in french

[Anonymous No.13926382]

Pine-
-appes.

[Anonymous No.13926383]

>>13926372
https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruca_vesicaria

[Anonymous No.13926393]

>>13925423
I threw up a little

[Anonymous No.13926395]

>>13926205
t. literal autist

[Anonymous No.13926403]

>>13925423
Subhuman amerimutt

[Anonymous No.13926423]

>>13925500
This. American pizza is way more pretentious.
"We're using specially made low moisture mozzarella so that we can have more cheese on our pizza without making it soggy. We ook it and made it betterer xxdddd"

[Anonymous No.13926427]

>>13926393
Deep dish pizza is fucking disgusting, and is only for the stereotypical American that chugs grease like its water.

[Anonymous No.13926433]

Literally any kind of "molecular gastronomy"
none of the stupid pizza bait posts made by fatty fat fat americunts in this thread come anywhere close to it

[Anonymous No.13926442]

>>13926393
i wouldnt even mind it if it was called pie instead of pizza. the abomination of grease is fine as unpretentious and easy to make garbage food, but it certainly has nothing to do with real pizza. same as that abominable 2-3cm of dough with fucking mayo, chicken and catsup trash slavs call pizza. really wish i didnt remember that shit exists.

[Anonymous No.13926455]

[Anonymous No.13926476]

>>13926455
Facebook

[Anonymous No.13926521]

>>13926393
Why, does it upset your fairy palette? Deep dish pizza is based
>meat and cheese on fried bread BAD

[Anonymous No.13926534]

>>13925423
Looks pretty based to me anon.

[Anonymous No.13926538]

>>13925521
Looks pretty based to me anon.

[Anonymous No.13926542]

>>13926455
No, because there is sauce, spices, and vegetables, also sometimes meat. Read a fucking cookbook you Facebook guzzling redditor

[Anonymous No.13926547]

>>13926020
I dont understand the obsession with sriracha. The first time I had it, it was ok, not even that spicy. Then like 5 years later it suddenly explodes to the point where you have McDonalds cashing in on it.

[Anonymous No.13926549]

>>13926156
It is pretentious, but I think it would be delicious.

[Anonymous No.13926556]

>>13926433
another idiot who doesn't understand what molecular gastronomy actually is,that it paved the way for modern cuisine and is ubiquitous in restaurant cooking today

[Anonymous No.13926560]

>>13926556
not him but instead of just hurling insults around, you can just say what the proper term for the thing in his pic is, so we'd start calling it by it's correct name.

[Anonymous No.13926564]

>>13925423
>as basic as pizza gets
>pretentious
you’re an idiot

[Anonymous No.13926572]

>>13926556
so you’re saying the guy you replied to is right

[Anonymous No.13926590]

Anything "deconstructed". Its retarded. If I wanted to have to assemble the meal myself, I would have just fucking made it myself.

[Anonymous No.13926594]

Puigdemont?

[Anonymous No.13926602]

Forgot pic of "deconstructed" bullshit.

[Anonymous No.13926615]

>>13925423

[Anonymous No.13926678]

>>13926393
isn't it just a fucking pie?

[Anonymous No.13926771]

>>13926547
Because it's not spicy, it appeals to the normalfag masses. Before sriracha became a meme, the only hot sauces normalfags ever dealt with were Tabasco and Frank's or an equivalent. Both watery, vinegary sauces

[Anonymous No.13926779]

>>13926542
That's what makes it fancy you fucking idiot.

[Anonymous No.13926915]

>>13926372
>>13926383
https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roquette_(plante)

[Anonymous No.13926919]

>>13925423
>>13925521
these are not pretentious. these are pizzas. simple, italian 'zas. nothing pretentious about it, they as simple as a baked bread with a few topping can get. Why are americans so fucking stupid and childish that they think of simple dishes as "pretentious"?

[Anonymous No.13926923]

>>13926197
newfag

[Anonymous No.13926931]

>>13926521
>>meat and cheese on fried bread BAD
yes.
also, the bread is not fried, its soggy oily horrible abnomation. the cheese is deliberately put on the inside so the head cant make it crispy, that would upset the american manchildrens tummies! It has to be a homogenous slop that you can basically chug down without even chewing. Off course if youre a lardass who is too lazy to even chew you will find this desirable.

[Anonymous No.13926936]

>>13926931
>head
heat

[Anonymous No.13926973]

>>13926455
>>13926779
god thats cringe
i wont even get into details on why your second comment is just incomprehensible retardness, it doesnt worth my time. But to reply to cancerous facebook meme from the last decade; you objectively cant call pizza "toast" because
>toast is made out of bread, an entirely different kind of baked dough
>toast is heated up twice, pizza is made by baking it with the toppings on the dough quickly, but on a very high heat
>bread is expected to rise before/during the baking process, pizza stays flat
>etc.
i think you should lurk more and learn to think before you post something.
>>>/b/

[Anonymous No.13927024]

>>13926973
Look at this newfag projecting it’s hilarious

[Anonymous No.13927038]

>>13926973
Sure sounds like some fancy ass cheese on toast

[Anonymous No.13927048]

>>13926205
Are you actually autistic?
>>13926919
American flyover boomers fly into a seething rage when they see something that they didn't grow up with.

[Anonymous No.13927055]

>>13927024
you hate me because i post the truth
>>13927038
epic

[Anonymous No.13927069]

Chefs who serve a 'salad' like this deserve to get the rona.

[Anonymous No.13927101]

>>13927069
What the fuck is this.

[Anonymous No.13927138]

>>13927101
A few leaves of Romaine wearing a cock ring.

[Anonymous No.13927153]

>>13926278

It's cheap, served informally and can be customised to the diner's preference. There is nothing pretentious about it.

[Anonymous No.13927170]

>>13927069
Fuck you, this is genius. I'd eat like twenty of these. Can I get some tomato or onion? Extra dressing on the side please.

[Anonymous No.13927197]

>>13927170
I guess I'm nuts for wanting my food actually ready to eat when I pay someone to cook it for me.

[Anonymous No.13927248]

>>13927170
No it's not you fucking dumbass.

[Anonymous No.13927314]

Biggest meme pizza is when they put the buffala whole on and you have to spread it.

[Anonymous No.13927373]

>>13926973
OP, I think this is what you were looking for

[Anonymous No.13927422]

>>13925459
What a half-baked response. Try next time.

[Anonymous No.13927424]

>>13927314
buffala dese nuts lmao

[Anonymous No.13927431]

> Chewy shite that is 90% holes is considered top tier bread, despite wasting millenia of development in bread production techniques

[Anonymous No.13927442]

>>13927069
I like how they didn't let the crumb go to waste. They tucked it under the crust belt. But where's the chicken and romano cheese?

[Anonymous No.13927445]

>>13927442
Oh snap! That's not the crumb, that's a romano cheese frico! Brilliant!

[Anonymous No.13927447]

>>13927431
I bet that crumb is the chewiest, most flavorful crumb to ever be wrapped in a delightfully crunchy crust. Looks like good rye to me.

[Anonymous No.13928345]

>>13926395
No arguments, just insults

[Anonymous No.13928358]

>>13926564
Its pretentiously basic

[Anonymous No.13928403]

>>13925521
A real pizza never comes out like that, it's a fake photography food.

[Anonymous No.13928422]

>>13925423
>that shit
>pizza “napolitana”

Pic related is a real lizza napolEtana

[Anonymous No.13928444]

>>13926372
>Italian herb made famous by the Romans on an italian signature dish
>HEY ANON HERE’S HOW IT’S CALLED IN FRENCH

Why not using other languages as well?

Here anon, it’s called ルッコラ

[Anonymous No.13928455]

>>13926372 #
>Italian herb (made famous by the Romans) pictured on an italian signature dish
>HERE’S HOW IT’S CALLED IN FRENCH

Why not using other random languages as well?

Here anon, it’s called ルッコラ

[Anonymous No.13928638]

>>13928455
Because English is a dialect of French, that's why in English the French word 'roquette' is used

[Anonymous No.13928666]

>>13926205
>overly basil flavoured bite
no such thing

[Anonymous No.13928674]

>>13928358
amerifat cope

[Anonymous No.13928692]

>>13926560
it is molecular gastronomy or some people might call it modernist cuisine. originally the people who came up with the term 'molecular gastronomy' meant it as a tongue in cheek way of referring to their experimentation with hydrocolloids in the kitchen, then the media got hold of it and it became something else. modernist cuisine is the term chefs came up with to replace it when it started to get cringe.

[Anonymous No.13928697]

>>13925428
>that time Heinz trolled Chiraq by calling their ketchup "Dog Sauce"

[Anonymous No.13928879]

[Anonymous No.13928884]

>>13928879
>plain nuggets instead of vertically laid against each other forming a pyramid

Not gonna make it

[Anonymous No.13928892]

That'll be $1,000

[not gorilla No.13928909]

>>13926294
delicious

[not gorilla No.13928930]

>>13926433
all I see are compounds and cell conglomerates
>not deconstructed enough
>>13926556
ohhh Industrial alimentation in the HOME! *onions smile and fake gusto*, now you can have alginate and transglutaminase and tocopherol too!
>It's not only for those labcoat bigwigs now!

[Anonymous No.13929007]

>>13925423
that's a bog standard homemade pizza you retard

>>13925428
wtf is this shit? fucking WHOLE peppers? TOMATO?

>>13926020
just through up a little. I don't get sriracha, maybe I'm not as soi as I thought

>>13926156
looks tasty

>>13926212
>>13926294
op said pretentious, not retarded

>>13926393
deep dish is fine once in a while, this one seems kinda low tier though

>>13926433
now we're getting somewhere. still cool for the science though

>>13927431
>>13928892
yes

[Anonymous No.13929086]

>>13926423
>>13926442
Where did this grease meme come from? Deep dish is bready and saucey but not so greasy.

[Anonymous No.13929246]

>>13925423
>>13925521
>>13928422
imagine being italian and forcing yourself to eat this gay ass bullshit fake pizza in an attempt to own americans and then still getting fat anyway cause you eat nothing but carbs and live with your mom whining at americans on 4chan all day

[Anonymous No.13929263]

>>13926442
Ayy lmao posta la pizza degli zingari sono curioso

[Anonymous No.13929288]

>>13926615
I always felt bad for the kids that got this in their lunchbags for school.

[Anonymous No.13929342]

>>13926393
not pretentious.

[Anonymous No.13929352]

>>13928879
>no micro greens

[Anonymous No.13929392]

>>13928422
Vaffanculo, adesso ho voglia di pizza. Fortuna che pure le pizzerie buone si stanno attrezzando con la consegna a domicilio, che qui sennò era dura arrivare a Maggio.

[Anonymous No.13930619]

>>13926556
Yeah, nouveau plating is still cancer though.

[Anonymous No.13930627]

Like, just serve some chicken you pretentious asses. It's just chicken. Why get all finnicky with your disintegration and additives and extrusion and elaborate sauce and shit?

[Anonymous No.13930640]

>>13929263
you asked for it pasta nigger.
https://youtu.be/XUAwalMGjZk?t=91
though this is honestly not That bad yet, ive actually seen and once even eaten worse (i was Very drunk, about 4l beer on an empty stomach in 2h).

[Anonymous No.13930665]

>>13929263
>>13929392
Reminder that this is an English-speaking website and using languages other than English outside of /int/ is grounds for a ban.

[Anonymous No.13930685]

>>13929246
>Projecting

[Anonymous No.13930753]

>>13928345
not an insult, more an observation

[Anonymous No.13930758]

>>13930753
perojekterating

[Anonymous No.13930791]

>>13925423
>gold flakes
>caviar
eugh

[Anonymous No.13930795]

>>13926382
no.

[Anonymous No.13930811]

>>13925423
Hey OP, I'm with you in this. Prete tious pizza is absolute dogshit

[Anonymous No.13930819]

say, do you niggers acshually use low moisture mozz on pizza?
i only ever found it once and it was pretty bad, i just drain the usual balls and slice them fairly thinly.

[Anonymous No.13930825]

>>13930819
I've never bought the mozz balls at the store. I just shred a brick

[Anonymous No.13930833]

>>13930825
well, in germanistan ive never seen those bricks in stores. all we got are (low fat) 125g balls packed in whey and the preshredded shit i once saw.

[Anonymous No.13930842]

>>13930833
have you tried visiting your local cheesemonger?

[Anonymous No.13930851]

>>13930842
40k souls town, we have like two butchers in the whole city and both are in shopping malls, no dedicated dickcheese mongers afaik.
plus i can get it on jewbay, but what seems to be a subpar product doesnt seem worth spending twice the money on, especially since i would have to consume the whole kg rather quickly.

[Anonymous No.13930853]

>>13930851
Butchers don't make cheese anywhere in the world.

[Anonymous No.13930856]

>>13930833
Isn't there always full fat and low fat Krautbrother?

[Anonymous No.13930863]

>>13925423
gold crust from homosexuals, its the most pretentious bullshit that I can think of.

[Anonymous No.13930864]

>>13930853
i meant that in regard to specialized food shops over here, i recon butchers are far more prevalent worldwide than cheesemongers.
overall its basically bakeries everywhere, most with coffee sales. then its the fucking kebab shops, a few greeks and even less asians plus the random pizzeria or two. i struggle to think of a single dedicated cheesemonger i had ever seen, tho the cheese aisles in malls are fairly decent sized which kinda makes up for it.

>>13930856
thats what i meant with the low fat in brackets. since the mozza fat never really bothered me on pizza i tried it a few times and found no significant difference. its more about the overall moisture of the cheese which quickly makes the pizza heavy enough to cause trouble with getting it off the peel.

[Anonymous No.13930869]

There's this shitty crap restaurant in nyc, serendipity, it's the shittiest of the shit and celebrity types seem to love it, that's why they suck so much cock, that's the most pretentious of them all.

[Anonymous No.13930902]

>>13926931
> It has to be a homogenous slop that you can basically chug down without even chewing.

Last night I had a small sausage, pepperoni with extra cheese pizza that was delicious. If I had wrapped a slice around my dick I believe I would have gotten a nut.

[Anonymous No.13930911]

>>13930902
Try it again tomorrow night and post results. It's ok to link to a redboard post from a blueboard.

[Anonymous No.13930971]

this thread is autism of the highest caliber

[Anonymous No.13931008]

>>13926442
>same as that abominable 2-3cm of dough with fucking mayo, chicken and catsup trash slavs call pizza.
what exactly are you talking about?

[Anonymous No.13931020]

>>13931008
its a slav thing. about as true to the concept of pizza as the deep dish, but more wile since instead of tomato sauce mayo and catsup are used. the video with slav runes in title i posted earlier showcases the basic gestalt.

[Anonymous No.13931026]

>>13928930
I'll see that and raise you a Lia

[Anonymous No.13931108]

>>13931020
>its a slav thing.
you mean its a russian thing. ive never heard of anyone using mayo or chicken when making homemade pizza here in slovakia. hell most people here dont make homemade pizza anyway.

[Anonymous No.13931114]

>>13931108
i can tell you its a thing in ukraine and russia. probably poland too. and while this filth is homemade too its more of a fastfood sold at shitty "pizzerias" that are mostly found near open markets. at least thats how it was couple of decades ago when i still lived there.

[Anonymous No.13931118]

>>13931026
Who is that and what does she charge per half hour?

[Anonymous No.13931140]

>>13930758
look it up

[Anonymous No.13931193]

>>13931108
just asked a burglarian buddy, he says there was a lot of this sort of cheap takeout there as well.

[Anonymous No.13931246]

>>13931114
>fastfood sold at shitty "pizzerias" that are mostly found near open markets.
most kebab places here also sell pizza slices. while ive never bought one myself they dont look any different from the ones youd get in a normal pizzeria. theyre just bigger.

[Anonymous No.13931282]

>>13929246
it tastes nice.

[Anonymous No.13931301]

>>13929246
sucks to be american huh. gettin mad at "pretentious" food, whatever that means, trying to justify the shit people have been serving you since birth

[Anonymous No.13931332]

>>13926556
That stuff in the spoons looks like cat poo, wtf are you on about?

[Anonymous No.13931463]

>>13930640
Thank you, I want to unsee it

[Anonymous No.13931853]

>>13925423
Here you go.

>>13925428
It's better without peppers. A lot of people like adding ketchup, and nobody really cares if you do.

[Anonymous No.13931863]

>>13926393
nothing like a good 'go 'za

[Anonymous No.13931875]

>>13927431
that clearly ciabatta which you use to dup inot oil oil and balsamic anyways. Airy loaves are literally the highest expression of bread. Bread is a sold foam and these airy loaves are therefore the best sold foams.

[Anonymous No.13931881]

this bread right here

[Anonymous No.13931908]

>>13928892
niggers didn't even temper the chocolate correctly

[Anonymous No.13933671]

>>13927048
>>13926919
>he can't tell the difference between suburban flyover Americans and rural flyover Americans
You're not just a joke, you're a bad standup routine.

[Anonymous No.13933844]

>>13931881
Epic crumb desu I wonder what the hydration was on that bad boy

[Anonymous No.13933854]

>>13931881
good lord I could fit so much mayonnaise in those holes

[Anonymous No.13933889]

>>13926041

[Anonymous No.13933900]

[Anonymous No.13933915]

Imagine being served by your king.

[Anonymous No.13933936]

>>13931853
Winner

[Anonymous No.13934004]

>>13926041
Oh no.

[Anonymous No.13934510]

>>13928638
The 100 years war did not make English a dialect of French. It is closer to German than any of the romance languages.

[Anonymous No.13934528]

>>13934004
fucking tastlets.

[Anonymous No.13934580]

>>13929007
what's wrong with peanut butter, chili, and coriander? it's like a basic Thai peanut sauce.

[Anonymous No.13934588]

itt flyovers and boomers projecting their insecurities on people who don't want to eat processed crap.

[Anonymous No.13935004]

>>13925428
Chicago style hot dog is the best salad on the planet

[Anonymous No.13935054]

>>13926020
probably tastes like thai peanut sauce. i find nothing offensive about this.

>>13926212
retarded

>>13926294
arugula is absolutely the most pretentious green, "oh but it's so peppery and zesty" stfu

>>13926433
digits and also this is the most pretentious shit ever

[Anonymous No.13935285]

So many poor people in this thread - imagine calling ciabatta 'bubble bread' or thinking that pizzas from Naples aren't the best in the word. It really is a shame there are so many disadvantaged people out there who are forced into becoming retarded ignorant mouth-breathers through the lack of culinary opportunities afforded to them in their formative years.

[Anonymous No.13935298]

>>13928909
Let me guess; gluten free vegan pizza?
Crust is the saddest part of that pic.

[Anonymous No.13935406]

>>13935298
Looks like chícharon preparado a Mexican food.

[Anonymous No.13935454]

>>13935406
Had to look that up.

Sounds... edible.

[Anonymous No.13935461]

>>13926556
>(((modern quisine)))
>good
Kill yourself jew. the only good thing about modern food is I can more easily not be jewed by supermarkets and order decent food through mail now.

[Anonymous No.13935462]

>>13926427
thats why americans are either healthy chads or fat rollie pollies nignog
Chugging grease is what you want to do. what you dont want to do is chug the wrong kind of grease.

[Anonymous No.13935466]

>>13927314
you cant shred buffala unless you meant they dont slice it.

[Anonymous No.13935506]

>>13933889
>>13933900
My dog's puke looks better than this stuff

[Anonymous No.13935517]

>>13935461
why are you even on /ck/...

[Anonymous No.13935529]

>>13935461
I think you've got bigger problems than your diet

[Anonymous No.13935532]

>>13925423
>Post the most pretentious version of pizza

[Anonymous No.13935533]

>>13935406
Those things are great, especially with a beer or two.

[Anonymous No.13935536]

>>13935406
Colombian folk know how to do those really well.

[Anonymous No.13935549]

I came here to laugh at your pizzas

[Anonymous No.13935550]

>>13928879
That's pretentious as fuck

[Anonymous No.13935553]

>>13925423

[Anonymous No.13935555]

You want classic comfort food? Here you go. That'll be $229.99 plus tip.

[Anonymous No.13935577]

>>13935517
>>13935529
even other kikes are tired of you monsanto shills, now nig off.

[Anonymous No.13935583]

For me, it’s the McChicken. The most pretentious sandwich.

[Anonymous No.13935598]

>>13935577
by most people's definition I am a /pol/tard but I know better than to rant about kikes on /ck/. You wouldn't debate pizza crusts on /pol/ so why do the opposite

[Anonymous No.13935600]

>>13935555
>walking into broth
did.... did they just try to imply the pasta is Moses and his followers? That is the most pretentious thing I have ever seen and I went to central st martins college

[Anonymous No.13935606]

>>13935598
>You wouldn't debate pizza crusts on /pol/ so why do the opposite
>not ranting and raving like a lunatic over all the soyflour making its way into all our food since the embargo on china
Oh no, whatever are we going to do now that I said kike in another bait the italiannigger thread.

[Anonymous No.13935624]

Just made 4 ciabatta "burgers" (pic from the cooking site recipe). 4 ciabatta halves, 400g minced meat (any variety), salt, pepper, garlic, olive oil, red onion, red chili and into the 220C oven for 8-10 minutes.

I combined that with green salad and some standard vinaigrette (1 table spoon water, 2 tablespoons olive oil, 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar, salt and black pepper) :D

[Anonymous No.13935660]

>>13935606
oh, you're under 18. No point talking to you then, you'll grow out of it sweaty :)

[Anonymous No.13935663]

>>13935624
looks peng

[Anonymous No.13935982]

>>13933915
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

[Anonymous No.13936000]

>>13935982
I'm in tears

[Anonymous No.13936024]

>>13935982
bretty good, saved.

[Anonymous No.13936427]

>>13931118
Just look at those tits and you'll see why she can charge per half hour.

[Anonymous No.13936458]

>>13935982
at least he can still laugh, I'm here waiting for my mother to die so I can suicide without feeling too guilty.

[Anonymous No.13936522]

>>13935982
This is one of the funniest, most descriptive, kekalicious things i have ever read.

[Anonymous No.13936705]

>>13935663
Thanks, very good too and not to expensive:

2 ciabatta $1.49
400g minced meat $3.48
red onion $0.3
garlic $0.3

Total: $5.57 for 4 ciabatta burgers for 4 persons or $1.39 per burger :D

(salt, pepper, olive oil, red chili, vinegar, tomatoes, cucumber, olives, peppers and green salad i already had at home so did not include that although they do cost money)

[Anonymous No.13936821]

>>13936705
https://www.aftonbladet.se/matdryck/a/EWApg3/varma-smorgasar-med-kottfars
you goddamn lying niger

[Anonymous No.13936834]

>>13936821
did you really need to do an image search to determine he was using a stock photo? what the fuck anon.

[Anonymous No.13936903]

>>13936821
That's the recipe i did, prices were converted from sek to usd.

I didn't think a recipe in Swedish would be of interest in a site were <0.01% could actually read it so i didn't link it - sorry.

[Anonymous No.13936910]

>>13936821
Also i mentioned in my original post that the pic was from the cooking site's recipe.

[Anonymous No.13936920]

>>13931881
>water,flour,salt
>pretentious
kek

[Anonymous No.13936927]

>>13925428
amaizn ghow they got both doges to look the same EXCALTY THE SAME amazing

[Anonymous No.13936939]

>>13936927

[Anonymous No.13936940]

>>13926041
Jesus wept

[Anonymous No.13936942]

Funazushi: rotten fish that has been sitting in a barrel for 4 years

[Anonymous No.13937191]

>>13925428
fpbp

[Anonymous No.13937270]

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.13937396]

>>13925423
That's not pretentious
>>13925428
Somewhat pretentious. The seeded bun and the use of whole peppers, pickles, tomato slices I'd say is what makes it pretentious.

[Anonymous No.13938104]

>>13926973
Pizza does not stay flat you mong
T. Pizza man

[Anonymous No.13938229]

>>13931875

'The highest expression of bread'. Thanks for demonstrating my point that this is bread for pretentious dweebs. Bread is supposed to be a supporting element adapted to the ingredients it's served with.

[Anonymous No.13938293]

>>13938229
>Bread is supposed to be a supporting element
Just as pretentious to say that as anything else

[Anonymous No.13938295]

>>13935285

Imagine being an Italian and believing that flour paste puffed up with yeast waste products is what constitutes a 'culinary opportunity'

[Anonymous No.13938455]

>>13925423

Best ever!

[Anonymous No.13938472]

>>13925423

This is great

[Anonymous No.13938493]

>>13925423

christmas pork

[Anonymous No.13938501]

>>13925423

What do you guys eat?

[Anonymous No.13938518]

>>13925423

how about my special oysters

[Anonymous No.13938528]

>>13926208
>>13926210
its a scorpion

[Anonymous No.13938615]

>>13938518
I would slurp the hanging end back up till i kissed her nostril, lady and the tramp style

[Anonymous No.13938631]

>>13936927
i can tell by the pickles

[Anonymous No.13938686]

>>13926041
That is a frozen pizza with extras thrown on top.
>t. would devour

[Anonymous No.13938764]

>>13938631
Nice

[Anonymous No.13938871]

>>13925423
Eating a pizza with a fork and a knife is pretentious, but that pizza looks fine.

[Anonymous No.13939460]

>>13927069
that's literally retarded. It's not even good plating and will just lead to a bunch of salad on the floor.

[Anonymous No.13940602]

[Anonymous No.13940983]

>>13928892
gold leaf is very unappetizeing

[Anonymous No.13942061]

>>13940602
>honey soaked bees
>buried cauliflower
>cashew cheese

This person is evil. Also, why is it served on a wrinkled bed sheet?

[Anonymous No.13942069]

>>13938871
Fuckin devil pizza!

[Anonymous No.13942073]

>>13925423
>>13925521
>good pizza is pretentious
Bait

[Anonymous No.13942076]

>>13942061
Just read that text, it's likely from a whackjob in some sanatorium that's had a lot of shock treatments.

[Anonymous No.13942092]

>>13926919
Boomers generally cant comprehend that people live normal lives outside of US as well. Its like the classic 50 year old aunt Karen telling you how she went to Spain and that it is an exotic country with "ethnic" food

[Anonymous No.13942102]

>>13942092

It's true, most other countries are just full of foreigners. Smh, even a five-year-old American can speak English, why can't they.

[Anonymous No.13942108]

>>13927442
There is no chicken on traditional caesar salad.

[Anonymous No.13942112]

>>13927069
That's pretty sweet if you ask me.

[Anonymous No.13942121]

>>13930665
reminder to go fuck yourself, faggot

[Anonymous No.13942131]

[Anonymous No.13942146]

>>13929086
Like 10 people on this board have ever eaten pizza that wasn't digiornos or pizza hut.

[Anonymous No.13942151]

>>13929246
I love the french niggas that bitch about americans eating bacon and eggs for breakfast while scarfing down like 600 calorie pastries with 0 protein for breakfast and having a loaf of bread for lunch. No wonder they're such weak tiny faggot retards.

[Anonymous No.13942161]

>>13935532
This looks like it’s just meant to be cutesy, not pretentious. I could see little kids making something like this.

[Anonymous No.13942174]

Never forget this classic

[Anonymous No.13942192]

>>13930902
>Last night I had a small sausage

[Anonymous No.13942198]

I honestly believe this is the least intelligent board on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.13942264]

Chicken and Catupiry Cheese is the best combination ever.

[Anonymous No.13942468]

>>13942198
you must be new here.

[Anonymous No.13942526]

>>13933915
im gonna cum

[Anonymous No.13942538]

>>13936942
?? how the fuck is that pretentious. sounds like salt cod. in other words peasant food.

[Anonymous No.13942549]

>>13942198
I bet you just don't like the McChicken.