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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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13578725 No.13578725 [Reply] [Original]

What are the worst ways you've seen someone fuck up the simplest of recipes or a basic cooking skill?
My mom one time managed to burn and undercook rice at the same time, and today my step brother forgot to add salt to the rice for the nth time and it had a hint of detergent in the background.
Is rice really that fucking difficult?
Im sure some of you have seen worse.

>> No.13578747

>mom boils instant ramen packet in a half-quart of water for 45 minutes
>she uses only half of the flavor packet because she thought it would be "too strong" otherwise
>serves it as a big watery mess in the middle of the dinner table
>no one touches it
>I wait to eat with the second group as usual
>sit down
>food is lukewarm by now
>mom: "do you want some ray-men noodles, anon?" "Why aren't you eating the ray-men, anon? I thought you liked ray-men noodles??"

>> No.13578753

>>13578725
My girlfriend didn't put tomatoes of any kind in spaghetti sauce

>> No.13578759

>>13578725
>forgot to add salt to the rice

hmm

>> No.13578778

>>13578747
Did you ate the ray-men?

>> No.13578780

>>13578753
Like homemade spaghetti sauce? How do you make it without any tomato pulp?

>> No.13578834

>>13578778
no

>> No.13578863

>>13578725
My mother insists on setting the griddle to nuclear hellfire when she makes pancakes.
They end up simultaneously on the verge of burnt on the outside and yet basically still batter on the inside.

>> No.13578873

>four years ago
>bf decides to make himself an egg
>heats pan on medium
>adds some oil
>cracks two eggs into pan
>turns pan off
>fucks off and plays vidja for an hour
>comes back
>turns pan back on
>mixes up the shitty abandoned half cooked mixture with fork
>heats on high until house smells like burnt hair and sulfur
>fucking eats it

>> No.13578880

>>13578747
You got me laughing no offense to your mom though

>> No.13578886

>>13578725
I saw some guy claiming you need to salt rice.

>> No.13578927
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13578927

>>13578725

>be me
>fresh out of college working as a tard/juvenile delinquent wrangler in a group home
>cook calls off
>I have to make dinner
>instant mashed potatoes are on the menu
>I place entire carton full of mix into pot
>mashed potatoes become hard as concrete
>I read the box
>entire box meant to serve 100 people
>I thought I was making enough to serve 12
>served it to the tards
>they complain that it is too hard/powdery

>> No.13579746

>>13578725
Ok guys.
2 cups water or broth
1 cup white rice
Bring to boil
Cover
Turn heat down low
Simmer 18-20 minutes
Take off heat
Let sit with lid on for a few minutes
Eat
No it doesn't need salt. Especially with broth.
No you don't need to rinse it.

>> No.13579761

>>13579746
Beyond retarded

>> No.13579783

Best rice is done by washing your damn rice, then once having emptied the washing water, measure how much water to put in by using the first line (from the nail) of your left ring finger. Place it just below the surface of the rice and measure to that. Makes it perfect every time.

>> No.13579825

>>13578886
You dont put salt in the water you cook your rice in?

>> No.13579830

>>13579825
Different anon here. No.

>> No.13579834

>>13579830
Im so sorry for all of your tastebuds, how the fuck you eat that shit

>> No.13579877

>>13579834
Plain mostly, and as a filler in meals unless I'm making fried rice. Don't feel sorry for my taste buds anon, because I'm still able to taste the flavor of rice.

>> No.13579897

>>13578725
It's pretty easy to burn and undercook rice if you don't bother to turn the heat off at the right time, and you should never use salt because rice is already delicious without such adulteration.

>> No.13579903

>>13578780
Spaghetti carbonara, off the top of my head.

>> No.13579908

>>13578725
who the hell adds salt to rice? I bet you're one of those faggots that throws a tablespoon of butter on it once you've plated it

>> No.13579910

>>13578725

My sister was making spaghetti
She burnt the water
As in there was water in the bot and something in the pot was burning and smoking
To this day I have no idea what she did

>> No.13579917

>>13579910
she just got some water on the bottom of the pot and it burned between the pot and the burner. could have just been some oil left on the burner from a previous meal

>> No.13579920

>>13579908
who the fuck eats unsalted rice? I like my rice like that, unlike you faggot that burns their tongue on anything that has more flavor than styrofoam

>> No.13579923

>>13578873
Kill your bf

>> No.13579925

>>13579834
>>13579825

Of course not, there's enough salt in my diet as it is. I'd rafher not have a heart attack at 40.

>> No.13579930

>>13579917

No, you don't understand. Something IN THE POT was smoking. The pot was clean with only water in it. It's a fucking mystery

>> No.13579933

>>13579920

>wypipo eat bland food
>proceeds to add 2lbs of salt and hot sauce to every meal

Faggot, your tongue is fried to shit.

>> No.13579934

>>13579930
that's called steam

>> No.13579936

>>13579920
Salt actually deteriorates your sense of taste. It does enhance flavor, but overexposure makes the tastebuds lazy.

>> No.13579942

>>13579920
you can salt it at the table if that's what you want

>> No.13579944

>>13579934

>caustic smoke like the burnt ass of hell
>steam

Nigga if that's steam to you seek help

>> No.13579949

>>13579933
Yours and your inability to differentiate flavors, go lick a wall bet itll taste the same as any of your meals, i just ask for a tablespoon of salt to the water you bland ass motherfucker

>> No.13579950

>>13579942
The rice needs to absord the salted water, putting salt on top after its not the same. My complaint isnt "it has no flavor i cant feel nuthing" my complaint is "oh fuck it tastes like shit"

>> No.13579951

>>13579949
Just one tablespoon. I wonder if you can tell the difference between a carrot and a turnip if you were blindfolded and neither one was adorned. I would bet good money that you can't.

>> No.13579958

>>13578863
Your mom is based and your tastelet ass just can't appreciate rare pancakes.

>> No.13579961

>>13579951
Not a tablespoon on the US measurement unit, a normal fucking spoon. I can get behind plain carrot and turnip, my problem is with rice

>> No.13579964

>>13578725
My ex burnt canned soup on multiple occasions

>> No.13579969

>>13579950
it tastes like rice

>> No.13579986
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13579986

>>13578725
Ok, so, let's make a pizza.
What do we make it from?
Ok. A slice of bread.
Tomato sauce.
Some shredded cheese.
A slice of ham.
Some onion.
A slice of salami.
More cheese.
Microwave it.

I've seen a lot of terrible shit, but the personal trauma I inflicted on myself as a ten year old with my attempt at making a pizza will always be the worst. And you must understand, if we did not have shredded cheese in perpetuity at my home I WOULD have used Kraft singles. Actually, now that I think about it, I might have. Oh god.

>> No.13579989

>>13579969
Rice is the poop of an albino grainrabbit.

>> No.13579993

>>13578725
GF put eggs in water to boil at like 5 am then came back to bed. I woke up to eggs exploding on the stove.

>> No.13579994

>salting rice

>> No.13580041

>>13578747
>mom sweet enough to make you ray-men
She’s a saint

>> No.13580080

>>13579783
How about you just measure the right amounts in a cup instead of this dumb bullshit

>> No.13580147

>>13578927
Should've told them they were having mashed potato bricks

>> No.13580150

ITT: let's hate people.

Naw, I'm not a bitter manchild. Grow the fuck up, fags.

>> No.13580171

>>13578725
My mother never, FUCKING NEVER washes leeks properly. Any dish she makes with leeks you know you will be chewing on sand and grit.

>> No.13580176

>>13578747
>I wait to eat with the second group as usual
LOL wut? is your family so large that you have to eat in groups?

>> No.13580182

>>13579783
>by using the first line (from the nail) of your left ring finger
this depends entirely on the shape of the container you are cooking your rice in you dumb bastard, measure it in milliliters or in grams

>> No.13580192

>>13579964
>My ex burnt canned soup on multiple occasions
If you heat soup (other than consomme) on a powerful induction burner without stirring constantly it is extremely easy to burn it, even with a really good pot.

>> No.13580217

>>13579746
>> not using a 1-1 water /rice ratio
>> not a mention of garlic or lime

Why bother eating it? It probably doesn't even taste like anything.

>> No.13580302

>>13579986
Nothing wrong with that bruh.

>> No.13580305

>>13579993
Literally tried to kill you both and make it look like an accident.

>> No.13580319

>>13579746
>no olive oil
>no onions
>no garlic

Kill yourself tastelet

>> No.13580353

>>13578753
to be fair you only need concentrated tomato puree mixed with vegetable stock to make a fantastic spaghetti sauce.

>> No.13580404

My little brother was making pasta and accidentally put vinegar into the water instead of oil. Fortunately I was able to stop him before he added the pasta.

>> No.13580420

reminds me of that anon who wanted to make a cake for his sister or something like that but he used tartar sauce instead of cream of tartar

>> No.13580433
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13580433

>>13580420

>> No.13580445

>dad makes top ramen
>puts ramen in pot of water
>puts on stove
>turns on stove
>while layer heard yelling from kitchen
>hes pissed because he now has a pot of porriage and nothing to go with his steak

>> No.13580476

>>13578747
Is your name Raymond anon?

>> No.13580487

>>13579783
As mentioned, this only works because you use the same saucepan -- it will fail if the shape/size of the container varies, if you vary the temperature, or if you use/don't use a lid.

>> No.13581627

>>13578747
this post made me sad

>> No.13581649

>>13578725
>add salt to the rice
literally does nothing unless you add a ton

>> No.13581667

my flatmate never adds salt to the water when boiling pasta and I'm too polite to tell her