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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 1-Welcome.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13528426 No.13528426 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Hello Anonymous.
I've been stuck in this detectives office all day, looking for PI to help get me off for a crime I didn't commit, but you don't know the half of it.

The crime: bland food
The victim: anons taste buds
The sentence: Gordon Ramsey getting angry on twitter

But you and I, we're going to change all that.
Welcome to Cooking with Dorothy.
Join me or you are a louse, Anonymous.

>> No.13528427
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 2-TodaysDish.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Today we're making a quick meal, clean cut, not dirty at all.
It only takes 15 minutes because that's all the time you've got in this fast paced world of ours.

And it's chicken. I love chicken.

>> No.13528429
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 3-Ingredients.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Here's what you'll need.
It's straight forward enough. Clean and easy.
If only more things in life were the same way.

>> No.13528433
File: 1.95 MB, 1280x720, 4-CubeChicken.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

First step, cube the chicken.

Cut into the flesh with reverence for the beast that gave it; the next dead body might be your own in this town.

>> No.13528436

Didn't you make one of these about a year ago and you were instantly banned? Also what kind of wig is that and do you have your feminine benis in a chastity cage?

>> No.13528437
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 5-OliveOil.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Next we need a little olive oil.
Just enough to give it some flavor and line the pan, so it doesn't stain like the wet work has stained your soul.

>> No.13528439
File: 1.91 MB, 1280x720, 6-SeasonChicken.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I make them all the time. You gotta keep putting yourself out there to get anywhere in this world.

Throw some salt and pepper on the chicken, toss it a bit to get it nice and evenly coated.
Put as much salt on as you like.
We're not going to live long enough for it to come back to haunt us anyway.

>> No.13528442
File: 1.91 MB, 1280x720, 7-MixSauce.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Next we mix the other ingredients together into a sauce.
Be sure to get all the lumps out.
Don't contemplate how much it looks like blood.
Stop it.

>> No.13528444

Omg I want to cuddle with you and stroke your large girl penis

>> No.13528445
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 8-BrownChicken.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Next, we brown the chicken. Carefully cook it on a stove top until it is brown.
Don't leave the gas on.

>> No.13528447
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 9-MixInSauce.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I don't have one, and I'm not a cuddler.
Getting to close to people makes you a liability in this job.

Next we mix in the sauce.
It looks like inkblots as I stir it, but the readings are all wrong, distorted shapes and phantasmal screams.
I wish I could forget her.

>> No.13528449

Same. I wonder if op's boipussy is untouched by the male penis.

>> No.13528453
File: 1.89 MB, 1280x720, 10-CookChicken.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Finally, we cook the chicken to 165F to ensure it's good to eat.
Life is precious in this world; don't waste the chickens life by refusing to cook adequately.
Calories are movement, movement is survival.

>> No.13528459
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 11-ItsDone.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Alright. It's done.
Success is fleeting, but I don't mind it one bit.

>> No.13528462

>to help get me off
When I'm done with you you'll be begging for me to let you get off but not yet. It's all about control.

>> No.13528463
File: 1.91 MB, 1280x720, 12-PresentDish.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yeah. Control is powerful in this world.
Control of yourself, the most powerful thing you can have.
I feel you.

Here's the meal. Take it or leave it.
It's served warm, unlike revenge.

>> No.13528473
File: 150 KB, 844x1200, __hatsuzuki_kantai_collection_drawn_by_deco_geigeki_honey__77c0c97d15938d978f53ff81b60610ed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If this isn't tea time then is it chicken time? Also please post your chicken breasts.

>> No.13528475
File: 1.90 MB, 1280x720, 13-Outro.mkv.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Alright Anonymous.
Its a hard boil life, but this isn't a hard meal.
I hope you enjoyed it.
I hope you can enjoy anything at all, honestly.

Have as good a night as you can.

>> No.13528478
File: 29 KB, 543x531, Alice.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Look at those man hands

>> No.13528481

I'm Dorothy. I sure could use a mans hands sometimes, but that isn't in the cards I'm afraid.
No man, no cry.

I'll be seeing you.

>> No.13528486

are u a dude

>> No.13528491

Interesting fap. I don't know how I feel about myself right now.

>> No.13528497

It's a Female(Female)

>> No.13528498

I'm not, woman from cradle to grave.
But I'll be streaming now, so I'll talk to you later.
If I'm not banned.

>> No.13528503

What's wrong alice?

>> No.13528508

That's Dorothy, read the OP

>> No.13528514

Hey bb, I know you had a long day.......

>> No.13528522
File: 69 KB, 650x650, a197fd43e087056aa06613b582d248a3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

we gonna ignore that this is taylor swift?

>> No.13528525

her hair is clearly dark

>> No.13528529

its a hard boiled detective noir thing

>> No.13528531

Red herring. I don't buy it.

>> No.13528534

Swift has larger breasts than that dude and that's saying something

>> No.13528536

whats ur twitch and amazon wishlist

>> No.13528540

she pretty clearly has breasts about the same size

>> No.13528541

She has a twitch but no amazon wishlist.
And I'm not linking it because I don't want to get banned

>> No.13528549

This is not the board for this, actually it might be, but this is not the site for this. You should go upload on youtube i you want to broadcast yourself. And if you are just re-uploading your content go do that somewhere else.

>> No.13528551

this was content literally made for 4chan, and posted on 4chan since 2015.

>> No.13528595

I don't like how plain the veggies look. The chicken seems very good but maybe a bit too one dimensional without any good side dishes.

>> No.13528640

I think they look fine. They weren't the main focus of the meal.

>> No.13528669

Fix your sides or you will be the next "focus of the meal", this is not a threat, this is a warning.

>> No.13528671

I'm not OP

>> No.13528680

Are you that same stuttering retard “psychologist” girl who used to post on /b/?

>> No.13528692


>> No.13528729

I don't care you defended the sides so yours are probably not much better. FIX THEM!

>> No.13528740


>> No.13528745

Impossible. They are in orbit.

>> No.13528759

>not brining the chicken before hand


>> No.13528764

its not a dish that needs or desires brining

>> No.13528810

All chicken is immensely improved through brining.

>> No.13528812

no, brining has a time and a place

>> No.13528825

But how else are you to ensure juicy chicken?

>> No.13528834

there are plenty of ways besides brining

>> No.13528859

Bullshit. Name a use of chicken where brining it would hurt the dish

>> No.13528862

chicken wings.

>> No.13528871

And how would brining negatively affect the outcome of the wings?

>> No.13528873

makes em too salty, you want the sauce to be the source of the salt

>> No.13529109

You could just omit the salt in the sauce, retard.

>> No.13529111

points for trying something different, if it weren't so weeby it would probably be pretty good
I dig the existentialistic forgiveness of salt though

>> No.13529261


>> No.13529285

No, I don't. Maybe YOU do but that's because you're autistic as fuck

>> No.13529310

Is wanting your sauce to work a symptom of autism now?

>> No.13529338

No, faggot. It just doesn't matter if the salt is in the chicken or sauce. One or the other is fine. Brining is will still make it juicier. You've yet to show me any negatives besides autistic screeching about how the salt HAS to be in the sauce for literally no reason.

>> No.13530278

it does actually matter, the sauce needs the salt

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