/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13420254]

What’s a light dinner I can make at home for a night of adventures with a date? Don’t want to eat anything too heavy incase anything should happen.

[Anonymous No.13420393]

>>13420254
mukbang boxes, go make your own. hit up every foreign market store in town.

[Anonymous No.13420419]

>>13420254
this can’t be real
not once in my life have i ever eaten a meal where i’ve felt “ughh that meal was so heavy i’m too bloated and tired to do anything”
is this typical in america? do you pass out after eating or something?

[Anonymous No.13420426]

>>13420419
Yes, I know it’s a foreign concept to you europoors, but people eat food in America. Stop asking us if we do things.

[Anonymous No.13420439]

>>13420254
can you not fuck after eating a full meal?

[Anonymous No.13420441]

>>13420419
No, its obviously the opposite, Americans are fat and affluent and always eat a lot, it must be someone who isn't used to affluence like a European

[Anonymous No.13420443]

>>13420254
It's better to fast and not eat before fucking, and then eat after. That's assuming you belong on this board.

[Anonymous No.13420997]

>>13420443
Every farmer's know that a good cock is lean.

[Anonymous No.13421290]

>>13420254
Just to let you know everyone on tinder is awful. Wasting good food on some thot is unforgivable. Go meet a girl at church or something. Not a protestant church, as they're even more degenerate than tinder thots. Orthodox or Catholic will do. You're welcome for the life changing advice

[Anonymous No.13421307]

>>13421290
Tinder has value, for example without tinder I would never have known trollface is a real person and she lives near by

[Anonymous No.13421314]

>>13421307
Fucking saved.

[Anonymous No.13421315]

>>13421307
>trollface
>complete with penis antennae

[Anonymous No.13421716]

>>13421307
Amerimutts really look soulless.

[Anonymous No.13421813]

>>13421307
Kektacular

[Anonymous No.13421831]

>>13421716
Problem?

[Anonymous No.13421891]

>>13421307
You guys remember rage comics? They don't make memes like they used to

[Anonymous No.13421990]

>>13420254
Baked beans with a salad of raw cukes, broccoli & cabbage.
Then you can carbonate the hot tub together!

[Anonymous No.13421996]

Pasta with some sort of cream sauce, maybe capres and just a lemon sauce. Saute a couple of thin sliced chicken breasts to go along.

[Anonymous No.13421997]

>>13421990
Reminds me of the time a gf and I were taking a bath together and she kissed my fart bubbles.

[Anonymous No.13422269]

>>13421290
Unprecedented levels of basedness, this post. Also, why are Protestants girls so fucking degenerate. They claim to be sanctimonious, but they’re actually sexual deviants.

[Anonymous No.13422581]

>>13421290
I have swipe apps on my phone not to get laid but to cook meals for new critics, each sexier and crazier than the last

[Anonymous No.13422794]

>>13422269
It's because they wrongly interpret that Jesus forgave everyone, even if they didn't truly repent. "Yeah I'm a alcoholic but Jesus will forgive me" They use religion as a scapegoat and nothing else. No reason to search yourself and change after doing something wrong.

[Anonymous No.13422840]

>>13422581
lol. True /ck/ material

[Anonymous No.13422888]

>>13420254
Something pasta based, Italian food :D

[Anonymous No.13422950]

>>13422581
based if true

[Anonymous No.13424775]

Lesson 1: They are so spoiled for choices that it's not even a competition. They are talking to 50 other guys while talking to you. It has been demonstrated time and time again, even in data released by Tinder and similar sites and apps themselves, that even mediocre or outright ugly women near-exclusively swipe right on 8+/10 guys. Even if you're absurdly good looking, you're still in the running with two dozen other guys they deigned to let talk to them, a fat boring 5/10 with bad skin, that Saturday afternoon on their fifth uninstall/reinstall of Tinder in two months. If you're one of the lucky few "average" (6+/10, 5 if you're very lucky and maybe solely because you're white and tall) men her unconscious mind decided to "take a chance" by swiping right on, like an impulse buy she immediately half-regretted, then you have even more of an uphill battle to fight. Having matched you, which of course she knew she would because nearly every guy swipes right on her, she already resents you just looking at you. She already feels, unconsciously, an aura of "you've got ONE shot, motherfucker, better make it a good one." Enjoy that uphill battle. While she's already talking to freakishly good-looking, effetely manicured men in $250 shoes.

[Anonymous No.13424783]

Lesson 2: Even though all the above is true, women are still generally not looking for meaningless sex when they use these apps. They are looking for validation and entertainment, which for them are sort of the same thing. They are looking for the thrill of being chased, they are looking to stimulate that part of their brain that wants an adventure and to be whisked away by a mysterious (and mysteriously into them, given that he's so perfect) man who is such a whirlwind of masculinity and attractiveness that he obviates the burden of their ever having to think for themselves. Even in the surprisingly rare instances that they do more than flirt and fuck around on the app, and actually go through all the trouble of meeting up with a 9/10 titanium supergod to let him fuck them, they will still feel unconsciously like they are settling. He isn't the perfect romantic adventure, he shows that he is merely human in some way, and so he reminds them that they're pathetic wine-chugging whores on a dating app on a Saturday night. He is only good for distracting from the pain, not saving them from it. In the intermittent moments where they realize this, they are just as likely to ghost even these men as they are to ghost you, uninstalling the app and complaining for another week about how they haven't had sex in ages. (Bonus lesson: Most women don't orgasm from Tinder hookups, yet they still do it. Ask yourself why that is. They literally seek entertainment, validation, and eventually basic human intimacy from these hookups, with sexual release being at least secondary, more often a rare surprise.)

[Anonymous No.13424794]

Lesson 3: All of these women are completely obliterated at a spiritual level by year after year of doing this, not just as a degenerate and degenerative side-hobby, but as their PRIMARY HOBBY. Women don't have hobbies the way you do. They don't have genuine interests in anything. They don't even really see their future careers as meaningful, at least not in the way you do. ALL THEY SEE, ALL THEY DO revolves around this pathetic lifestyle: coasting through their jobs or college courses throughout the week, with a baseline of pathetic hedonism and consumerism during the evenings and taking extended breaks to browse their phone or go for lunches and coffees with other women they barely like, and then on Friday night and the weekend, they begin panicking all over again about how they're single, and medicate this either by flirting with the idea of fucking a guy (whether an old FWB they have no long-term desire for, or by letting a bunch of guys grovel on Tinder and remind them they're attractive for a few hours), or by caving and fucking a guy, which makes them feel good for 3-6 hours while they're being actively entertained but then makes them crash back down into another week of boring workdays or college classes. Then the cycle begins again. Do you really want to be with these women?

[Anonymous No.13424799]

Lesson 4: The sex isn't even good. None of these women know how to have decent sex. Sex for them is an exchange good, which they squander on these weekend validation binges instead of saving up to convince one decent guy to marry them.

Lesson 5: Sex is all they have. Once it's all squandered on those binges, and once they realize that their prime time to lock down a "B+" man (let alone an "A-" man) for marriage has passed, and that they wasted this time holding out for an A+++ that doesn't exist, they will become the most bitter, unpleasant, unfeminine human beings you could ever meet.

Lesson 6: Most of the women on Tinder are either already in the group described above, or rapidly sliding into it. Even if you do "luck out" and get a girl who goes on dates with you, it's often because she's just barely smart enough to realize she has to settle for something like your B+ ass if she wants anything at all. Enjoy your 27 year old increasingly fat, lazy, go-nowhere, dead-end career girlfriend, and enjoy knowing she sees you as forever inferior to the men who fucked her for free for 7+ years before you met her and she made you wait 3 months for sex, and made you run a gauntlet of demeaning tests of your willingness to tolerate her childish entitled behavior. Now you've got a "wife," congratulations! By the time you're ready to have kids, 90+% of her eggs will be dead and she will still be a dead fish who never learned how to fuck.

[Anonymous No.13424811]

>>13424775
>>13424783
>>13424794
>>13424799
Do Americans really

[Anonymous No.13424834]

>>13420254
Make something that looks cool but is easy as sin. Something I've been toying with as of late is risotto stuffed in a tomato. It's super easy and bound to impress. melt a little extra Parmesan Cheese on top.

[Anonymous No.13424836]

>>13420254
Stop having premarital sex.

[Anonymous No.13424842]

>>13424775
>>13424783
>>13424794
>>13424799
In a word, my son—sin does not pay.

[Anonymous No.13424846]

>>13424836
based

[Anonymous No.13424853]

Falafel is good if your date is vegan and you are a brrrrrrraaappp boi

[Anonymous No.13424860]

Spaghetti with meat balls 10/10
Be sure to use oregano instead of basil to look more retarted

[Anonymous No.13425119]

>>13424811
>Do Americans really

Have sex with completely underwhelming women? Yes.

[Anonymous No.13426092]

>>13424783
>pathetic wine-chugging
Leave al/ck/ alone

[Anonymous No.13426268]

hey op, last time i wanted to impress a girl i made same fresh salmon (in the oven, if you make fish in the pan it stinks up your apartment) with mashed potatoes and spinach. served with a white wine and for a dessert vanilla ice cream with hot red berries. easy but still more fancy and impressive than chicken tendies, tasty, not too filling.

[Anonymous No.13426303]

>>13426268
Boil some cinnamon next time you pan fry a fish. Kills the fish smell almost immediately.

[Anonymous No.13426313]

>>13421290
I miss when 4chan wasn't ironically Christian

[Anonymous No.13426321]

>>13421290
>Catholics aren't degenerate

Heathen

[Anonymous No.13426329]

>>13426313
It's not Christian to seek a good woman, just proper sense

[Anonymous No.13426572]

>>13426313
>implying

4chan has always been a Christian website, newfriend.

[Anonymous No.13426599]

How much of a lanket are you that having dinner makes you unable to fuck?

[Anonymous No.13426935]

>>13420254
Just make some light italian pasta dish

Unless she's doing keto she'll like it, girl always like Italian for some reason

[Anonymous No.13426956]

>>13426572
Yes it always has been retarded

[Anonymous No.13427136]

>>13426572
Yeah that's why the 1st 2 boards were /a/ and /b/, christcuck.

[Anonymous No.13427610]

>>13421990
Sounds good for rectal adventures

[Anonymous No.13427638]

>>13420254
Some snails, with garlic. Do you have melon ? Half melon for dessert.

[Anonymous No.13427644]

>>13420419
A girl need to feel empty for you to fill her. Do you prefer stuffing with pizza or your dick ?

[Anonymous No.13429285]

>>13424836
>getting married
nah. it's either premarital sex or GB/TB porn folders and browser history files

[Anonymous No.13429294]

>>13420254
spaghetti alla vongole, but swap the spaghetti with linguine because fuck spaghetti

[Anonymous No.13429323]

>dating 3d women

[Anonymous No.13430086]

>>13420419
You dont want to be fucking your guy after feeding him 2 hours before and end up with butter chicken shit dick

[Anonymous No.13430233]

>>13421307
Incredible!