/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.13260771]

>open chicken package
>wash hands
>remove chicken
>wash hands
>put chicken on plate
>wash hands
>apply oil to chicken
>wash hands
>apply salt + pepper
>turn over chicken
>wash hands
>apply salt + pepper
>place chicken on tray
>wash hands
>place in oven
there has to be a better way

[Anonymous No.13260780]

>>13260771
use a fork? tongues? take some meds?

[Anonymous No.13260788]

>>13260771
My boyfriend and I (we're gay) alternate tasks and wash our hands at the same time so it's half the amount of handwashing each.

[Anonymous No.13260790]

>>13260771
Your tap handles must be encased in a thick layer of salmonella.

[Anonymous No.13260792]

>>13260771
>open chicken package
>wash chicken
>no longer have to wash hands

Wa la

[Anonymous No.13260795]

>>13260790

[Anonymous No.13260802]

>>13260771
a helper in our own tradition

[Anonymous No.13260805]

>>13260792
this

[Anonymous No.13260817]

>>13260771
I feel you anon.

I bought on amazon a pack of food safe gloves and I use them on my dominant hand so I can safely reach things with the other clean hand and finally apply the second glove if needed.

I’m turbo autismo on these things, I can’t help myself.

[Anonymous No.13260882]

>open chicken package
>no need to wash hands. you just touched the package.
>remove chicken with left hand
>put chicken on plate with left hand
>pour oil with right hand, apply to chicken with left hand
>apply salt + pepper with right hand
>turn over chicken with left hand
>apply salt + pepper with right hand
>place chicken on tray with left hand
>place in oven with right hand
>wash hands

[Anonymous No.13260897]

>>13260882
concentrating the samond ella on your left hand every time can't be good or safe for you

[Anonymous No.13260915]

>>13260882
very dexterous of you, show off

[Anonymous No.13260924]

Yeah I made pork schnitzel this week and had to wash my hands every 2 minutes really.

[Anonymous No.13260931]

>>13260897
Just switch hands the next time you do it. Left hand on even days, right hand on odd days. That way it evens out over time and your hands won't get salmonella.

[Anonymous No.13260940]

>>13260882
does this work with either hand?

[Anonymous No.13260962]

>>13260771
Have everything ready in seperate dishes. Do it all in one go. Dont waste water

Mise en place motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.13260969]

Lads, lads, lads...

https://youtu.be/tD-VuwulVgI

[Anonymous No.13260981]

>>13260771
I have my wife play "nurse" and come turn on the faucet and perhaps get some spices and put them into my hands without touching them so I don't have to do that.

[Anonymous No.13260983]

>>13260962
fuck water i got so much water it's floating little shits up my basement drain ill waste it all i want

[Anonymous No.13260994]

>>13260983
Think of the children, anon

[Anonymous No.13261005]

>>13260994
imagine how many african children you killed by not finishing your meals when you were seven

[Anonymous No.13261028]

>>13260969
c-can you make me one too?

[Anonymous No.13261050]

>>13260969
i would kek but she's too wholesome to kek

imagine fucking her hard

[Anonymous No.13261067]

>>13260969
She's a strong person.

[Anonymous No.13261070]

>>13260969
imagine a footjob from her omg she will make use of every one of her toes

[Anonymous No.13261089]

>>13260771
>there has to be a better way
yeah, it's called taking medication for your untreated OCD

[Anonymous No.13261094]

eat the salmonella, it's good for you

[Anonymous No.13261116]

>open chicken package
>put chicken on empty pizza box laying around
>grab seasoning containers with chicken juice hands and season chicken both sides
>put in tray and put in oven
>wipe hands on pants

[Anonymous No.13261122]

>>13260771
lmao this is literally me

[Anonymous No.13261166]

>>13261116
Unironically this. I've never gotten sick, nor have my guests

[Anonymous No.13261169]

>>13260771
Wear disposable plastic gloves?

[Anonymous No.13261200]

>>13261070
Too bad her feet look busted from having to do everything with them like that

[Anonymous No.13261257]

>>13260969
>muscled 2nd toes almost as large as the big toe
e-ew

[Anonymous No.13261284]

you guys are way too scared of food poisoning

[Anonymous No.13261294]

>>13260771
are you retarded?

[Anonymous No.13261295]

>open pack of honey soy chicken kebabs
>lick fingers
>cut in half with general purpose scissors so they fit in pan
>lick that sweet honey juice
>place in pan
>use hands to turn over wiping on pants each time I burn myself
>eat them as they approach doneness so I can just chuck it back in if still raw
Fite me

[Anonymous No.13261319]

>>13261005
i'm starting to realise how much my dad left an imprint on me saying stuff like this when i were young, he also said that I'd become fat if i drank while eating simply because i used to drink like 2 large glasses of milk with each meal.
now I always finish my plate no matter how much I dislike it and I never drink until I've finished my meal.
there's a lot of other stuff as well.

[Anonymous No.13261408]

>open packet
>cut chicken up in five meals.
>2xbreasts
>2xthighs
>Wings and carcass for soup/curry/stew.
Wont get salmonella if the chicken is cooked, no need to be retarded about it. Put the seasoning in a seperate bowl or something that can just be thrown in a dishwasher.

[Anonymous No.13261716]

>>13260788
That's literally the gayest thing I've ever heard of

[Anonymous No.13261828]

>>13260790
you should use your forearms to actuate the tap when your hands are dirty. that is how you do it right? you don't just stick your filthy hands all over the thing right?

[Anonymous No.13261835]

>>13260940
I once tried it the other way and it was a total crapshoot

[Anonymous No.13261838]

>>13260788
Disgusting sodomite. One of the few things muslims get right is executing you fags.

[Anonymous No.13262224]

every video of gordon ramsay cooking i've seen, he never washes his hands after handling raw food

[Anonymous No.13262232]

Open package with knife, peel back the plastic with tongs 0
Use tongs 0 to move chicken to plate 0
Oil + chile lemon seasoning side 0
Use tongs 0 to flip chicken to side 1
Oil + chile lemon seasoning side 1
Bake
Use tongs 1 to move cooked chicken to plate 1

Never touched chicken in my life with this method.

[Anonymous No.13262237]

>>13261838
>Matthew 7:1
>>13262224
his immune system permeates through his fingers and sanitizes everything he touches. mark of a master chef

[Anonymous No.13262241]

>>13260882
the smartest man on /ck/

[Anonymous No.13262368]

>>13260771
>open chicken package
>remove chicken
>put chicken on plate
>grab my oil bottle
>apply it to chicken
>grab my salt + pepper shakers
>apply it to the chicken
>flip chicken over
>apply salt + pepper again
>place chicken on tray and into the oven
>wash my hands, oil bottle, and salt + pepper shakers.

[Anonymous No.13262376]

>>13260771

[Anonymous No.13262413]

>>13260882
How do i grind pepper with one hand ??

[Anonymous No.13262425]

>>13260771
yeah, it's called running water and a paper towel

[Anonymous No.13262427]

>>13261828
>actuate
nerd

[Anonymous No.13262454]

>>13262413
I use my dick as another hand, if I get chicken juice on it I wash that too.

[Anonymous No.13262461]

>>13260771
I work as a dishwasher, and I'm still like this at home.
Even though I handle half chewed food floating in fetid water with hands covered in open wounds and breathe in aresolized saliva, all whilst being sick to begin with.
It's the same as when I dine at a restaurant. I just turn off the germaphobe part of my brain.
Except Indian food, that shit makes me puke or shit water 80% of the time. Fuckin' poos.

[Anonymous No.13262466]

>>13260790
>t.

[Anonymous No.13262470]

>>13262461
>aresolized
aerosolized*
DUDE BEER!

[Anonymous No.13262477]

>>13260790
I always flick the handle with the top of my hand

[Anonymous No.13262480]

>>13260790
fucking kek

but srsly this whole thread is just painful
I'd literally never heard of all this autism about chicken before I got to /ck/ and I still think it's just another amerifat thing

[Anonymous No.13262509]

>>13260771
then don't wash hands, pussy

[Anonymous No.13262545]

>>13262480
It's not a big deal at all jf you live in England or Japan; which is to say island nations which have had their native fauna all but destroyed. But in America or Australia you have to be careful. We have shit tons of wildlife vectors, and the logistics of immunizing the entire poultry population of the nation are daunting, to put it mildly. Not that salmonella is the only zoonosis worth worrying about.
That said, better safe than sorry. Europe presents the vast majority of trichinosis cases for a reason.

[Anonymous No.13262721]

>>13261838
islam was right about women and gays

[Anonymous No.13262731]

>>13260817
I loved that bit so much

t. Call center worker

[Anonymous No.13262744]

Why are zoomers so afraid of chicken, is it mental illness?

[Anonymous No.13262860]

>>13260771
Gloves?

[Anonymous No.13262897]

>put on gloves
>open chicken package
>remove gloves
>wash hands
>put on new gloves
>put chicken on plate
>remove gloves
>wash hands
>put on gloves
>apply salt and pepper
>remove gloves
>wash hands
>put on gloves
>throw everything in the trash and go to McDonald's
>remove gloves
>wash hands

Fucking had to sit through a 2 hour "food handlers course" and this shit is illogical.

[Anonymous No.13262925]

>>13261295
>cutting your fingers in half
why

[Anonymous No.13262934]

>>13261838
Unfortunately Muslims tend to put an artistic license to homosexuality.
To them buttfucking each other, and little boys isn't gay under most conditions, and is forgiven if they accuse the nearest nonmuslim, or victim.

[Anonymous No.13264148]

>open chicken package
>remove chicken
>put chicken on plate
>fuck the chicken
>grab oil bottle
>drink oil
>grab my salt and pepper shakers
>apply it to my left leg
>lick chicken twice for good fortune
>grab the chicken
>snuggle into the dishwasher
>ask your neighbor to start your dishwasher
>eat chicken while drowning

[Anonymous No.13264613]

>>13262413
Not everyone uses a pepper mill, tryhard.

[Anonymous No.13264626]

>>13260771
Tongs. There, that was easy wasn't it?

[Anonymous No.13264638]

>>13262413
grind the pepper beforehand

>>13264613
imagine not using fresh-ground pepper

[Anonymous No.13265052]

>>13260771
>Read comic book
>Turn the page
>Wash your hands
>Turn the page
>Wash your hands
>Turn the page
>Wash your hands
>Turn the page
>Wash your hands
>Turn the page
>Wash your hands

[Anonymous No.13265063]

>>13265052
Sorry pal. The average age here isn’t conducive to Rocco posting.

[Anonymous No.13265088]

>>13260788
God i always wanted to fuck someone who was cooking for me naked only wearing my apron

[Anonymous No.13265096]

>>13260771
Just wash the chicken instead you sperg

[Anonymous No.13265113]

>>13260969
Imagine her trying to fight off a rapist

[Anonymous No.13265141]

>>13260771
or you could just open the package and eat it raw like the animal you are

[Anonymous No.13265152]

>>13265063
At least someone here understands my high quality reference.

[Anonymous No.13266224]

>>13262466
This was a really funny joke.

[Anonymous No.13266245]

>>13260788
My husband does the prep and had me add the salt, pepper, etc so only he has dirty hands

[Anonymous No.13266253]

>>13260931
That’s not even how it works

[Anonymous No.13267555]

>>13260771
You should have proper mise en place set up before you cook if and use utensils to prepare messy things. I don't give a shit about washing my hands out of fear of salmonella, so I just wipe my hands on a towel if they get wet. Same with the cutting board.

[Anonymous No.13267738]

>>13260788
Cute

[Anonymous No.13267789]

>>13260771
Put chicken package on roasting tray
Set oil and seasonings nearby
Preheat oven
Wash and dry hands
Put on one (1) disposable glove
open chicken package with gloved hand
Remove chicken and place on tray
Discard empty package with gloved hand
Apply oil to chicken using bare hand
Rub oil on with gloved hand
Apply seasonings with bare hand
Pat on seasoning with gloved hand
Flip chicken with gloved hand
Repeat prior 5 steps
Remove glove
place roasting tray in oven
Wash hands again, just in case

[Anonymous No.13269022]

>>13260792
Washing the chicken actually splashes invisible droplets of chicken juice all over the kitchen surfaces which could spread bacteria more than just washing your hands after preparing chicken.

[Anonymous No.13269036]

>be bi-dextral
> 1 hand for touching the chicken
> 1 hand for everything else
> wash hands 1-2 times
Wasn’t that hard was it

[Anonymous No.13269047]

>>13260771
>open chicken package
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>remove chicken
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>put chicken on plate
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>apply oil to chicken
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>apply salt + pepper
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>turn over chicken
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>apply salt + pepper
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>place chicken on tray
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
>place in oven
>wash hands twice with soap under boiling water
Yes, I am a white male, what gave it away?

[Anonymous No.13270849]

>>13269036
how to i grind pepper with one hand?

[Anonymous No.13271552]

>>13260780
Please don't use your tongue, anon.

[Anonymous No.13271577]

>>13270849
goml

[Anonymous No.13271580]

>>13270849
grind it beforehand into a small bowl, sprinkle with one hand

[Anonymous No.13271629]

here's my method:

>put plate or dish on workbench
>open pack and put chicken on plate
>wash hands
>salt, pepper and oil on one side
>use tongs to turn chicken over
>salt pepper and oil the other side
>now use hands again to rub in the oil and seasoning
>wash hands second and final time
>now only use tongs to touch the chicken

[Anonymous No.13271888]

use a fork to turn the chicken or just get disposable food safety gloves. Also just put your chicken on a pan instead of adding an extra plate step if you're baking it

[Anonymous No.13272038]

>>13260780

>use a fork
>eww i cant touch meat with my bare hands gross
>I bought gloves because babbish uses them