I grant you 3 food wishes

[Anonymous No.12384376]

After all you're the Michael Medved,
of your /ck/ food thread.

[Anonymous No.12384381]

I wish 3 times for piping hot fries

[Anonymous No.12384386]

1. fuck your monetization and go back to ~5 minute videos
2. kill babish and bring vinny back to brad
3. make my local kroger stock tonkatsu sauce

[Anonymous No.12384388]

>>12384376
1) Endless supply of lobster
2) Endless supply of beer of my choosing
3) Whatever I consume, I get to determine how many calories it's been by the end of the day

[Anonymous No.12384406]

>>12384376
I wish that water magically got me as buzzed as 8% abv beverage with no negative health effects. Some nigga can have the other two wishes.

[Anonymous No.12384411]

hi there john
for my first food wish
a bottomless pickle jar
ill save my two for later
thank you

[Anonymous No.12384420]

>>12384381
They burn your mouth and you can never taste again

>>12384386
3. it is poison tonkatsu sauce and you die

>>12384388
1 and 2) they pour on you endlessly and you drown

>>12384406
the nigga wishes you to die the next time you drink water

>>12384411
All the pickles are at the bottom and you can never reach them

[Anonymous No.12384438]

>>12384420
I use that guy's other remaining wish for an infinite supply of salt to add to the next guy's pickle jar to make the pickles float

[Anonymous No.12384683]

>Wish Twisting
No. Dumb, shitty, unoriginal. The only good "monkey paw" style wishes are ones where the actual wish was poorly though out to begin with, not a benign wish that has an incredible negative circumstance for no purpose other then an author trying to be "clever"

Good wish twist? King Midus.
Bad wish twist? Bullshit ITT.

[Anonymous No.12384710]

I want to eat out a girl with 1. a tight coochie 2. big ass 3. big tits, make it happen.

[Anonymous No.12384720]

>>12384710
The coochie is so tight that it tears off your tongue, and her big tits and ass knock you unconscious as you scream in agony

[Anonymous No.12384721]

>>12384683

Agreed.

>I wish I wasn't allergic to lactose
>Granted but I shot you in the head guess you're not allergic to anything now :^JJJ xDD

[Anonymous No.12384730]

>>12384420
Lame

[Anonymous No.12384736]

>>12384720
Hot.

[Anonymous No.12384741]

>>12384376
>Why yes, I do have a wish, I want large collection of hot sauces at home.

[Anonymous No.12384742]

1) Dickered motherfucker stops posting his thread
2) Supreme pastry chef skills
3) Wish I had a girlfriend

[Anonymous No.12384747]

>>12384742
3) your girlfriend is gluten intolerant

[Anonymous No.12384748]

I eant ihop

[Anonymous No.12384754]

>>12384742
1) Dickered guy becomes a mod and stickies his thread

[Anonymous No.12384757]

>>12384747
Well fuck you Chef John guess I have to give all my god-tier bread to the curry-nigger security guards or something.

Maybe I'll sell it and buy gluten-free food for the girl

[Anonymous No.12384769]

1. The hipster ipa trend is forgotten. They all move to porter.
2. Turkey and duck become cheap enough to buy every week or two, but not so cheap as to be an economic race to the bottom in quality within my country
3. None of my flat-bottom cookware will warp. Not even if a roomie or family member uses it.

[Anonymous No.12384770]

>>12384754
N O

[Anonymous No.12385099]

>>12384376
>you're the Michael Medved

have always hated this cocksucker
fucking not just a tool but a whole toolbox
want to crush in his skull with a brickbat

[Anonymous No.12385104]

>>12384386
What's tonkatsu sauce, I'll see what I can do.

[Anonymous No.12385115]

>>12385099
I also hate semites

[Anonymous No.12385123]

>>12384376

medved means bear in Slovak :^)

[Anonymous No.12385138]

>>12385123
No one cares :^)

[Anonymous No.12385162]

>>12385115

has nothing to do with him being Jewish
he's a fucking slime toad cocksucker
total asshole
smug motherfucker
lived in Rush Limbaugh's asshole for years
I want to kick hem in the balls as hard as I can with a steel toed boot

[Anonymous No.12385171]

>>12385162
Same but I also want to do that because he is a Jew

[Anonymous No.12385176]

>>12384376
1) fuck the jannies
2) fuck the jannies
3) fuck the jannies

[Anonymous No.12385249]

1)All vegetables I touch are cleaned automatically

2)Stove top and hood I'm currently using will never be dirty

3)Can control temperature or size of flames with my mind regardless of equipment