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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12327409 No.12327409 [Reply] [Original]

Name something you’d use in your kitchen besides a knife that you would use if an intruder was inside it.

>> No.12327456

>>12327409
My empty beer bottle

>> No.12327462

>>12327409
Probably a rolling pin and a carbon steel pan, though I don't bake enough to keep the rolling pin out regularly.

>> No.12327464

>>12327409
Mah wife

>> No.12327473

>>12327409
A cast copper pan

>> No.12327483

>>12327473
This

>> No.12327484
File: 37 KB, 425x425, 1616A92F-581B-4A5C-987A-4477A6EF2FAF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12327484

DIOS MIO

>> No.12327489

Skillet nigga. Then if he shooting I can tie it on my back and ricochet the rounds.

>> No.12327493

>>12327484
That’s a lotta damage

>> No.12327500

Mandoline

>> No.12327503

>>12327484
La Clancha Suprema.

>> No.12327507

Ghost pepper hot sauce
in a spray bottle if I have prep time

>> No.12327513

>>12327462
>rolling pin
Lol faggot

>> No.12327514

>>12327464
Ahh a Husband of edge is among us.

>> No.12327517

>>12327409
an ice cream machine i guess

>> No.12327519

>>12327514
Ahh a Reddit tranny is among us

>> No.12327524
File: 660 KB, 709x462, 1557091615293.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12327524

>>12327409
my wife's cooking heyo

>> No.12327525
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12327525

My kitchen? I have a gun in every area of my house. My kitchen gun is my M&p9c.

>> No.12327539

>>12327409
my kitchen is in between my door and living space. I would hope the intruder didn't think to look for my chef knife.
but my answer is fire extinguisher

>> No.12327547

>>12327524
BASED

>> No.12327550

>>12327525
Smart move. I keep a tiny beretta in my freezer in case anyone gets frisky while I cook

>> No.12327555

>>12327519
Do you even lift bro. Cuz you got to toss that heifer first. Or If youre a lucky lad, maybe the fuckin theif intruder gets caught in her orbit eh?

>> No.12327556

>>12327550
I know you're joking, but if you want a good hiding place for a pocket rocket, put it in an oven mit hanging on a hook in your kitchen in a pocket holster. If anyone breaks in while you are cooking, just reach into the oven mit and pull your gat.

>> No.12327559
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12327559

>>12327525

>> No.12327561

>>12327555
I'll lift your skirt to get a nice look at your cute little boypussy, you fuckin homo.

>> No.12327564
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12327564

>>12327550
Something feels wrong, about the care of your weapon.

>> No.12327566
File: 8 KB, 220x276, Corkscrew-220px-Korkenzieher_01_KMJ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12327566

>>12327409
A corkscrew to the niggas eyes

>> No.12327569
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12327569

>>12327409
Meat tenderizer, never used it but it's in the drawer. Good weight but not too heavy, handle is slippery though so it might fly out of my hand.

>> No.12327567

>>12327556
This sounds like a black and white infomercial at 1am. Peddling a ghetto ass mitgatglove lol call 1800ghettoshit

>> No.12327571

>>12327559
based dwight

>> No.12327582
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12327582

>>12327409
The oven.

>> No.12327586

>>12327561
I’ll jam it down your throat and give you a headache to infinity you fuckin twink rim blasting sumbitch

>> No.12327591

>>12327569
is the side not seen flat? or more pokie things
that's a nice one. I would make things that need flattened just for an excuse to use it

>> No.12327596

>>12327569
You ever tenderize a human face anon? The screams and pained anguish are never enough to blot out the shallow thuds of the mallet hitting flesh while they beg for mercy... Oh god those sloppy joes were delicious

>> No.12327604

>>12327596
Sloppy Joe is what your mom calls my penis, idk why.

>> No.12327606

>>12327604
It's made out of ground hamburger? Might wanna get that checked out m8

>> No.12327616

>>12327606
Oh she just texted me out of the blue and told me it's because its always been known to grind her hamburger, if you know what I mean. Isn't that crazy?

>> No.12327622

>>12327596
Man, shut the fuck up bitch ass nigga, you dont even cook. Bruh, my meat finna boutta tenderize your boi pussy, faggot.

>> No.12327624

>>12327616
I chuckled

>> No.12327638

The boiling pot of water i have on the stove.
Throw the water at his face, then beat him senseless with the hot side of the pot.
That's been my plan since I was a child.

>> No.12327644

>>12327638
>throwing a pot of hot water at a pack of melanin enhanced individuals 20 feet from you armed with guns
Shitty plan desu. Get a gun.

>> No.12327653

>>12327638
Do you plan to keep a pot of water boiling in perpetuity while anticipating a break in? I'd probably throw the toaster and the house cat at them. Maybe a block of cheese

>> No.12327671

>>12327591
The other side is in fact flat, maybe I will use it for something eventually.
>>12327596
No, but I would if I was in a situation to defend myself, the screams and begging would make me swing harder to make the noise stop....that bloody steak was delicious.

>> No.12327706

>>12327409
>if an intruder was inside

*were
It's the subjunctive mood. HAHA, did you learn that in school? No HAHAHAHAHA. 4chan fucking rules!!!!

>> No.12327731

>>12327706
I don't believe in that tense. I just say "was" every time because fuck you.

>> No.12327751

>>12327555
>when you get so BTFO you just start spouting nonsense

>> No.12327755

>>12327731
The Chad uhh... I don't know.
>>12327706
The virgin something-or-other

>> No.12327765
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12327765

>>12327409
marble rolling pin fren. it's heavy but I'm pretty /fit/ and could knock the shit out of that motherfucker.

>> No.12327767

>>12327644
>melanin enhanced individuals
that was pretty funny desu

>> No.12327769

>>12327767
anon, that's what we have called niggers here for a decade

>> No.12327771

>>12327769
but i'm new bro. literally only started browsing 4chan since February

>> No.12327793

>>12327771
this is 4channel lad

>> No.12327798
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12327798

>>12327771
I can tell. How about you wait until next February before your next post? You don't have to respond, I'll take it as you getting a head start.

>> No.12327801

>>12327769
>>12327771
I miss bix nood.

>> No.12327805

>>12327798
>being this much of a dumb nigger on 4channel

>> No.12327807
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12327807

The ONLY time it is sensible to choose a cast iron pan over stainless steel

>> No.12327816
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12327816

>>12327409

>> No.12327826
File: 529 KB, 498x278, 1A7ED860-01B1-471A-8816-5E04FA675351.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12327826

Just throw things

>> No.12327834

>>12327409
Broken beer bottle. Alternatively I go to the next room and grab my spare bass guitar neck. It's solid maple and rosewood, and it's easy to grab and swing. That's what I would REALLY use. I'd cut my own hand open stabbing someone with a chef's knife anyway. It's not made for stabbing.

>> No.12327846

>>12327834
Just slip the 12" dildo out of your ass and use that

>> No.12328105

>>12327409
>whose line pic
>family feud prompt