How would you alter this pizza?

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Anonymous Mon Apr 22 09:53:27 2019 No.12216564 [Reply] [Original]

How would you alter this pizza?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 09:54:06 2019 No.12216568 >>12216564 I would alter its location by placing it in the trash

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 09:57:06 2019 No.12216582

>>12216564
It looks undercooked in the center
The sauce looks like a watery mess...
The cheese is about to fall off
The meat looks terrible
There green jizz splotched over marinara sauce, literally dumb.
Might be one of the worst pizzas i have ever seen. The crust is the only redeeming quality...

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 09:57:39 2019 No.12216585 >>12216564 no

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:00:58 2019 No.12216595 >>12216568 came to post this

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:01:38 2019 No.12216597 >>12216564 Need to cook the sauce down more, look really watery but otherwise fine and tasty.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:02:19 2019 No.12216598 >>12216564 Better browning on the sausage, literally perfect otherwise.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:05:44 2019 No.12216604 >>12216582 >>12216597 I thought the water was oil

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:06:05 2019 No.12216606 File: 90 KB, 1000x750, o (7).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Make it so it has no crust and that toppings and cheese go to the egde

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:07:27 2019 No.12216611 >>12216564 Cook it properly. The edges are burnt and the cheese isn't even caramelized. I knoe you posted this because you're really proud but it fucking sucks.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:08:17 2019 No.12216617 >>12216564 Looks like dog vomit. Is this people food?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:10:50 2019 No.12216624 >>12216564 It looks fucking good. I would devour it!

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:11:51 2019 No.12216627 >>12216606 Absolutely disgusting

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:12:55 2019 No.12216630 Why do homemade pizzas never have cohesion and always look like the cheese and toppings will slide off them at the first opportunity?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:13:47 2019 No.12216633 >>12216630 Most people suck at cooking and have low standards.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:14:04 2019 No.12216634 >>12216627 shut the fuck up idiot

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:14:43 2019 No.12216636

>>12216564

No meat, less sauce, dough needs work, try making it thinner, cheese needs to be browned. Broiling it for a minute or 2 would be beneficial to get some nice colour. Try making a "grandma" style pizza next time.

For a good guide. here is my man Frank Pinello. The "grandma" style is towards the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whnvQBhXh3A

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:50:44 2019 No.12216736 >>12216634 based >>12216627 BTFO hahaha holy shit

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:50:51 2019 No.12216738

Bullying aside here's my honest criticism. This pizza looks like it would go real well with a few beers instead of a glass of white wine. I like most pizza so this is about the biggest insult I can think of.
>The dough is too fat, it's thin crust or suicide for you
>ditch the sausage, you only need one protein and chicken is more original
>don't just maul the chicken, cook it whole and slice it into nice equal pieces
>that cheese looks gross, it looks fat, disgusting and needs to be browned. Spread it more evenly and brown in the oven before adding the rest of ingredients
>there's too much sauce
>ditch the onion, the fact that you cut it too thick and I think you left some skin on it aside, it's color is the one that makes it too many on that pizza. Makes it look like a random composition and less cohesive, kinda like dog vomit.
>either add some fresh herbs or greens on top and add another type of cheese in small amount: ricotta, cottage cheese, parmeggiano regiano or grana padano. You could also add some cherry tomatoes or peeled fresh tomato slices.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:54:31 2019 No.12216751 Its fine OP. Cheese could be more caramelized. Good job.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:56:48 2019 No.12216759 >>12216751 >Cheese >caramelized Know how I know you can’t cook?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 10:57:58 2019 No.12216765 >>12216564 Toss it in the garbage

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 11:04:51 2019 No.12216798 >>12216759 >he doesn't put caramel on his cheese pizzas Ask me how I know you're not American.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 11:50:04 2019 No.12217022

>>12216564
Pretty simple: you didn’t remove enough water from the onion, and you didn’t remove enough fat from the sausage beforehand. This water/grease combo caused your cheese to be undercooked relative to your crust. You should have cooked them together and drained them.

It seems like you’re not using any hard cheeses. Hard cheeses suck up moisture and kind of give things a nice crust. Also I see no evidence of freshly ground black pepper (although this is just my personal preference).

Finally, I tink your logistics are off. You have a great looking crust but a soupy looking center. I would go with maybe 1/2 to 2/3 of the mass of toppings you’re using, and distribute much more near the edge, as tight as possible to the edge. Everything will tend towards the middle anyways, but doing this will buy you several minutes of unfettered center cooking before everything melts.

Also, if you want a pesto flavor, I usually put it straight on the dough with a pastry brush before I build the pizza, and go around the edges, so you get a nice pesto flavor and crunch on the crust.

Overall this looks pretty good, you just need to take the next step and start tuning things. What people normally do at this point is convince themselves that whatever they did was some Platonic ideal, but since you’re here and looking for feedback that’s hopefully and thankfully not you. Please do post upcoming pizza pics as you fine tune things.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:09:34 2019 No.12217115 >>12217022 >Ground pepper on pizza I want Europeans and their disgusting regional habits to leave my board.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:12:33 2019 No.12217130 >>12217115 Fuck you, faggot. Also, this is my board. Pepper compliments bland cheeses like mozzarella, and I stated that it’s optional, so eat a dick you fucking tranny.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:14:02 2019 No.12217143 >>12217130 Projecting much? Go dilate sweetheart.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:18:53 2019 No.12217159 >>12217143 It’s usually projecting faggots that accuse others of what they’re doing. Notably you have not made a case for why pepper is a war crime on pizza yet is taken for granted on nearly every other food.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:21:42 2019 No.12217171 >>12217159 Wow you're mad

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:23:27 2019 No.12217176 File: 34 KB, 565x765, egygoosehardcore.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12216568 fpbp

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:24:27 2019 No.12217181 >>12216759 Know how I know you are a bitter, self-loathing, anal, obnoxious person? Should have said "more maillared"? Fuck off.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:31:18 2019 No.12217210 >>12217171 Still waiting for intelligent discussion about why black pepper on mild cheeses is bad. I said why I think it works, and you’ve mostly confirmed what I’ve said by not having any counterargument whatsoever. >inb4 some stupid adhominem

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:32:21 2019 No.12217215 >>12217210 Put black pepper in your sauce idiot, my god learn how to cook your damn moron.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:35:10 2019 No.12217229 File: 401 KB, 1536x2048, do za.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12216564 Add spaghettios, shrimp and avocado.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:36:33 2019 No.12217235

>>12217215
Obviously I do. The real question is why a bit of black pepper on melted mild cheese is such a bad thing. So you’re for black pepper in sauce yet a dusting of it on a mild melted cheese is some kind of crime? Again, please explain your exact reasoning without resorting to obvious BS deflection.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:41:09 2019 No.12217276 >>12216564 I'd make it horizontal instead of vertical like you did.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 12:51:04 2019 No.12217311

>>12217235
If youre looking for right/wrong, perhaps you should visit a priest or a shrink. What im here to tell you is that if you have made your sauce correctly, putting black pepper on mozzarella cheese so fucking dumb. Dont question it, just accept it.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:05:38 2019 No.12217387

>>12217311
So instead of explaining why it tastes worse to you, or why I’m wrong in thinking it tastes better (it does to me), you appeal to a vague distant authority, priests/shrinks, both of which you seem yourself to be unfamiliar with. You then veer directly into authoritarianism. One thing you never do, and this seems to be a theme, is answer your own question without your littany of rhetorical BS devices. Simply put: why am I wrong for liking a dusting of black pepper on melted mild cheese? It adds a necessary flavor profile IMO.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:08:38 2019 No.12217402 >>12217229 bastard

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:09:21 2019 No.12217404 >>12216564 Get rid of the pepperoni (you have sausage, fatty, you don't need another spiced meat stepping on it) and whatever that green shit is. Add mushrooms and ricotta.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:10:03 2019 No.12217408 >>12217402 Ah right, I forgot the mustard, my bad.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:10:41 2019 No.12217412 >>12217387 >i wanna know why im right or wrong!!! You're like a child, and your terrible palate affirms this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:10:42 2019 No.12217411 >>12217229 East Asian Pizza/10

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:11:37 2019 No.12217417 >>12217181 >Know how I know you are a bitter, self-loathing, anal, obnoxious person? Judging from your faggot formatting, you're one too and can detect yourself in others.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:13:42 2019 No.12217424 >>12216633 this, and home ovens aren't really hot enough to cook pizza properly.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:14:18 2019 No.12217428 >>12216564 greasy as fuck

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:14:33 2019 No.12217429 >>12217412 >I don’t actually have an argument and have to rely on innuendo, the post

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:18:24 2019 No.12217447 >>12217429 >implying i will be baited into an argument on subjective values You dont only have a bad palate, but you're fucking retarded as well.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:20:07 2019 No.12217456 >>12217424 Honestly, I think 500 is good enough for a reasonable pizza. You need a decent steel or stone at that temp, though.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:20:32 2019 No.12217458
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>>12216564
>phoneposter
lmao other than that its downright experimental and looks good/well made, i would try that. the pesto is an interesting choice. i would swap the red onions to a lighter flavor to cut through all that, some kind of fruit or green maybe? it just seems like all dark flavors rn

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:23:19 2019 No.12217469 >>12217458 >fruit Die in a fire.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:26:04 2019 No.12217483

>>12217447
>If I repeat something enough, it’s true, right guize?
Why is it always the guy that can’t put an apostrophe in “don’t” calling everyone else retarded? I think they send shill cadets to /ck/ before they’re allowed to go on /pol/ for quality assurance purposes. Otherwise, why come to a cooking forum and shill against black pepper? Stupid.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:31:17 2019 No.12217502 >>12217483 >heh i seen youve made a typo in your argument, tough luck kiddo. Literally you, sad. Do yourself a favor and stop posting here.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:32:43 2019 No.12217507 >>12217502 >argument

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:38:12 2019 No.12217532 >>12217502 It would be great if you could, in fact, establish what your argument actually is, in direct plain English. What you have been doing in practice is disguising rhetorical devices as argument very unconvincingly.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:42:06 2019 No.12217553 >>12217502 Also one can’t help notice your double-down on bad punctuation in your greentext, which was probably intentional. Are you by any chance one of the chosen people? It would explain a lot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:42:50 2019 No.12217557 Shut the fuck up fatties

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:45:05 2019 No.12217565 >>12217502 You lost, Jamal.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:52:25 2019 No.12217595 >>12217565 >he made another typo, looks like its another anonymous internet argument won for me. Seriously how fucking pathetic are you?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:53:48 2019 No.12217603 >>12217595 >there's nothing wrong with acting black! You lost. This isn't debatable. I'm not even the guy you were "arguing" with. Not your board, Jamal. That's that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:55:14 2019 No.12217613 >>12217595 Do you honestly believe people are buying what it is that you’re selling? You come across as an unhinged weirdo. Is that what you are?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 13:57:26 2019 No.12217620 >>12217613 Stop projecting you sad pathetic fag. You're not fooling anyone except for yourself.

Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:02:21 2019 No.12217635

>>12217620
It’s probably the other way around, as mah negro above correctly identified you as a Jamal subspecies, most likely of the kosher variety. With no help from me, just based on your intrinsic faggotry and compulsive need to belligerently respond instead of back up your “arguments” (which are really just a sack of shit presented in a textually argument-esque fashion). Good luck kiddo.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:04:18 2019 No.12217643 >>12217620 >no u! Typical.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:13:33 2019 No.12217661 And just like that, the spell is broken.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:19:31 2019 No.12217687 >>12217635 Whats it like living in a fantasy world?

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:24:40 2019 No.12217704 >>12217687 really made me think

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:36:05 2019 No.12217743 >>12216604 It is oil, cu/ck/tards are too stupid to understand anything about food

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 14:44:33 2019 No.12217777 >>12217743 >raw onions when cooked release oil and not water certainly made me think

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:16:52 2019 No.12219195 >>12216564 I'd eat it with a knife and fork. Looks like everything would fall off immediately as soon as you picked it up.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:19:00 2019 No.12219200 >>12216568 I couldn’t even see the quality from the pizza from the thumbnail. I didn’t even know if I wanted the pizza or if I thought it looked like shit. My first instinct was to say exactly this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:20:34 2019 No.12219210 >>12216611 You’re a nasty person

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:23:04 2019 No.12219221 >>12216564 Make a glaze for the crust using hot water, honey and garlic powder and cayenne powder

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:42:37 2019 No.12219277 File: 1.58 MB, 600x600, 1554870322868.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12217458 It's only been a week and somehow this gif turned into a jpg.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:47:22 2019 No.12219297 >>12216568 >>12216582 all these fags trying to act like gordon ramsey it looks good OP would eat

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:47:36 2019 No.12219298 Parmesan, asiago, romano cheese mix, mixed with a large dose of red pepper, oregano, fennel and salt. This mixture of grated cheese with spices can save anything. Even a little ceasar's.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:48:20 2019 No.12219301 >>12216564 By putting in my mouth and eating it all up and then making it to poo with my body!

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 20:59:15 2019 No.12219334 >>12216564 Add a light drizzle of honey and balsamic vinegar.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 21:10:00 2019 No.12219373 File: 12 KB, 225x225, 1538444840209.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12217229

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 21:15:25 2019 No.12219392 >>12216564 True story, I make this as a sandwich on whole wheat.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 21:48:01 2019 No.12219509 >>12216568 faggot

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 22:23:54 2019 No.12219675 >>12216564 no pesto. add japeleno all over

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 22 22:26:11 2019 No.12219684 >>12216564 1. make it good 2. ???

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 01:00:45 2019 No.12220243 >>12216564 take the cheese and meat off

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 01:14:57 2019 No.12220285 >>12216564 Vegetables on pizza... straight to the trash.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 02:47:05 2019 No.12220497 >>12216564 add capsicum add oregano maybe add salami/pepperoni

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 04:28:24 2019 No.12220753 pretzel crust

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 04:29:22 2019 No.12220756 >>12216564 Take off the green shit, take off the onions, and it might be edible

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 05:23:55 2019 No.12220880 >>12217022 Excellent advice

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 05:41:07 2019 No.12220913 >>12216564 by eating it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 05:45:00 2019 No.12220920 >>12216738 Based

Anonymous Tue Apr 23 11:40:18 2019 No.12221902
File: 12 KB, 400x400, yummy doggo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12216564
>>12216606
I've been fasting 3 days now (1 day water fasting, 2 days of low calorie intake (500-600cal/day) eating only nuts & almonds and these pics make me salivate.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 13:10:04 2019 No.12222185 >>12216564 pizza in general, i would put some kind of italian noodles like baked zitti

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 15:39:21 2019 No.12222847 >>12216564 i would add more tomato sauce, turn it into a circle, switch the meat to grilled chicken, add some jalapeños and then eat it ! :)

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 17:22:35 2019 No.12223247 File: 3.79 MB, 4032x2268, 20190422_174606.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] First ever attempt at making pizza. What do you fuckers think?

Anonymous Tue Apr 23 17:34:59 2019 No.12223297

>>12216564
Less crust, and less dough over all.
Spread toppings to the edges (goes along with the less crust part)
Cheese under the toppings, less toppings over all.
Chop the sausage into smaller bits.
onions should be on top of it all to cook faster and release moisture. Veggies always go above the meats, otherwise steam will retain.

Good try!

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 18:19:27 2019 No.12223456 >>12223247 bretty good tbqh

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 19:12:13 2019 No.12223674 >>12216564 crushed red pepper flakes on top

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 19:31:04 2019 No.12223751 File: 2.04 MB, 681x1210, love pizza.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12223247 It's made with love.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 19:33:56 2019 No.12223760 File: 67 KB, 656x500, 31B1DA2C-78CC-4BC1-96D7-A96E97DB21C5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12216606 Eating DeBoner style pizza

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 19:38:58 2019 No.12223785 >>12216568 based

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 19:40:49 2019 No.12223796 File: 71 KB, 500x750, salma_hayek_huge_boobs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12216598 it looks good but maybe the sausage needs a bit more browning you are correct sir still would eat

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 20:03:19 2019 No.12223912 >>12223796 Mommy gib

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 23 20:04:46 2019 No.12223917 >>12216568 Kekk

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