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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 211 KB, 2000x1065, blog-featured_mushrooms-20180515.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993484 No.11993484 [Reply] [Original]

I don't trust mushrooms or fungi in general, and neither should you. Stop eating them. They are dangerous.

>> No.11993489

what's dangerous about them

>> No.11993500

>>11993489
Everything, man. They're creepy and weird and I don't trust them. They're up to something but I don't know what it is, but it's ominous.

>> No.11993513

I read this page several times per day and it always scares me. Don't trust them
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathogenic_fungus

>> No.11993527

That's why I always have my colt 45 close to me, when eating chinese of the soil.

>> No.11993533

>>11993484
I didn't either until having this revelation- mushrooms are just like veggies or fruit. Little microscopic alchemists turn dying trees into a nutritious food for you. You can kinda think of them like vegetables made purely from wood.

>> No.11993539

The only safe ones are the weird small green ones in a glass jar. You can dump them in a small pot, heat them on the stove until simmering, take off the heat, add pepper, and eat them right out of that with a spoon.

>> No.11993549

>>11993527
Smart man

>> No.11993556

>>11993484
taking this for my blog

>> No.11993561

>>11993556
Please do, help me spread the word

>> No.11993566

>>11993484
When I die they’re going to eat me, so it’s just preemptive revenge.

>> No.11993569

>>11993566
prevenge

>> No.11993570

>>11993484
Fungi are based

>> No.11993576

>>11993570
t. fungus

>> No.11993615

>>11993561
https://foodblogposts.blogspot.com/2019/03/food-blog-xxvi.html

>> No.11993634
File: 170 KB, 800x800, Pioppino-Agrocybe-aegerita-Duebelbrut-fuer-die-biologische-Pilzzucht-gem-EU-VO-834-2007-und-889-2008-AT-BIO-701.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993634

>>11993484
I hear they cure homosexuality

>> No.11993643

>>11993527
>Colt 45
You realize beer yeast is a fungus right?

>> No.11993647

>>11993576
No i'm not

>> No.11993686
File: 60 KB, 480x360, Cortinarius semisanguineus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993686

Posting cool (but not necessarily edible) mushrooms.

>> No.11993691
File: 48 KB, 600x450, Boletus frostii.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993691

>> No.11993697
File: 230 KB, 1024x768, Gymnopilus luteofolius.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993697

>> No.11993702
File: 62 KB, 360x491, Hericium americanum.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993702

edible

>> No.11993706
File: 55 KB, 900x723, Coprinus pseudoniveus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993706

>> No.11993714
File: 29 KB, 448x538, Microglossum viride.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993714

>> No.11993722
File: 322 KB, 1500x1000, Boletus satanus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993722

>> No.11993866

I imagine any possible fungal spores or mycelium is rendered intert or removed as the mushrooms go through the harvesting/packaging process.

>> No.11993884

>>11993484
>Non-toxic varieties consumed since the beginning of human existence.

>dangerous because I read a click-bait article.

>> No.11993892

based mushroom poster

>> No.11993933

>>11993866
Not true at all. I've gotten several oyster colonies started from store-bought packages, and it wouldn't be a stretch to do it with shiitake and portobellos either.

>> No.11993940

>>11993933
RIP Anon.

>> No.11993942

>>11993484
based
fungus grows in dark moist places filled with shit and decaying organic matter. fuck mushrooms

>> No.11993950
File: 18 KB, 210x240, cheshire-cat-american-mcgees-alice-48.8[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11993950

>>11993484
I've never trusted toadstools, but I suppose some must have their good points.

>> No.11994106

>>11993884
I didn't read any article about them, I've just always been wary of them.
>>11993942
Thanks man, finally someone with some sense

>> No.11994328

>>11993500
You can trust the collective, Anon.
We have your best interest in heart.

>> No.11994383

>>11993484
What's the matter? Don't like the high protein / nutritional content per calorie?

>> No.11994393

>>11993942
Where do you think your vegetables and potatoes grow on / in, anon?

>> No.11994461

>>11993634
now that's a lot of cocks

>> No.11994522

>>11993500
You're creepy and weird. I'm gonna keep eating mushrooms and you can keep sucking diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick

>> No.11994590

>>11993484
I want to pick wild mushrooms this year but don't want to poison myself. I fucking love mushrooms, good on pizzas, good in omelettes, good sauteed on their own in oil/butter/pepper, there's nothing bad about mushrooms OP. Stop being paranoid, they're almost certainly not from space.

>> No.11994596
File: 43 KB, 960x640, paul-stamets-psilocybin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11994596

eat the mushroom

>> No.11994611
File: 157 KB, 1300x892, 1390988059611.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11994611

>> No.11994636

>>11994590
t. Fungus
You aren't fooling me, though I am surprised you've gained the ability to post
>>11994596
No!

>> No.11994650

>>11994636
There is no fungus among us.

>> No.11994657

>>11994590
Protip: never eat mushrooms of which the spores inside look off even the slightest, this is a sign that you shouldn't fucking eat it, not even cooked.

T. person who had a slightly aged puffball half a year back.

No permanent issues but i did feel slightly dizzy for those few days so now and then.

>> No.11994718
File: 94 KB, 1000x667, FD4C4A72-7D91-4780-900F-F10F3AA655F0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11994718

They will take over. Fungi and octopi are from outer space.

>> No.11995282
File: 6 KB, 249x203, download.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11995282

Post your favourite recipes with mushrooms. I only know shimeji and mushroom risotto

>> No.11995886

>>11993484
I catched some scheming in the fridge yesterday, be careful anon

>> No.11995985

>>11993570
oh shit guys the mushrooms have figured out how to type

>> No.11996003
File: 57 KB, 630x339, morels1-630x339[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996003

>>11993484
Good. All the more for me!

>> No.11996030

https://www.opb.org/television/programs/ofg/segment/oregon-humongous-fungus/
>3 miles across
>may be 5000-7000 years old
>eating a forest

>> No.11996068

>>11993484
this is literally the mindset of 8 year-olds

>> No.11996101

>>11993702
i hear its really good, too.

>> No.11996170

>>11993527
based billie dee

>> No.11996181

>>11993484
You should look into fungus intelligence. It sounds ridiculous but I have always felt weird about them too. Like I'm eating an animal, not a plant. Fungi are weird.

>> No.11996192

>>11995886
Those bastards! Good thing you caught them in time

>> No.11996484
File: 302 KB, 1000x1000, fresh-enoki-mushrooms_FreshEnokiMushrooms-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996484

You can't stop me from ingesting enokis, OP, they've already taken hold of me

>> No.11996560

My gf cooked mushrooms for me at the weekend and she pulled the stumps out and threw them away. I don’t think she is the one.

>> No.11996573

>>11996030

That’s a big fungi.

>> No.11996638

>>11993484
Why do they taste so bad? Are my tastebuds fucked or what?

>> No.11996717

>>11996638
raw white button mushrooms are indeed terrible but fry them up in some garlic and butter mmmm

>> No.11996794

>>11996560
Just tell her they are edible and that you like them...

>> No.11996847

>>11996717
Shit yeah, pepper/garlic/butter or olive oil is all you need to make mushrooms amazing on their own.

>> No.11996874

>>11996638
Put some fucking spices on them, you Neanderthal.

>> No.11996914

Mushrooms are the driving force behind human evolution. Stoned ape theory. Is this relationship symbiotic, or are we their unwitting slaves? I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.

>> No.11996949
File: 158 KB, 700x525, Coprinus comatus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996949

Mycoanon back with more cool mushrooms

>>11996101
They're delicious. H. americanum I've only found wild, but I regularly grow the related Hericium erinaceus and it's wonderful in pretty much everything.

>>11996717
Don't forget salt and pepper!

>>11995282
Shaggy manes (Coprinus comatus) with enormous amounts of butter, salt, pepper, served atop rye toast. Fried egg optional.

>> No.11996952
File: 302 KB, 1200x728, Amanita bisporigera.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996952

do not eat

>> No.11996961
File: 111 KB, 818x520, Cantharellus formosus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996961

Edible

>> No.11996968
File: 362 KB, 929x622, L. indigo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996968

edible.

>> No.11996971
File: 89 KB, 640x544, trip well pupper.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11996971

I only very recently found out that button mushrooms are just baby portobellos. Been half-assedly looking around for some that had some roots and dirt still on them because I want to see if I can grow them into portobellos in a box or something.
Thoughts?

>> No.11996986

>>11996971
I thought baby bellas were baby portobellos

>> No.11997021
File: 219 KB, 1200x770, Volvariella bombycina.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997021

Edible, but rare. Dry it and give it to a collector instead!

>>11996971
You probably wont have much luck with portobellos (Agaricus bisporus), they're pretty demanding with their grow conditions. You'll have a much easier time starting with oyster mushrooms (Pleurotus ostreatus). What you want to do is buy a package of oyster mushrooms (be sure to find ones that have really fuzzy looking patches on the stems: this is your active mycelium and that's what will spread throughout your substrate). Take a 6"x6" piece of cardboard cut from a box (so that it has the two stiff, straight layers sandwiched over a corrugated layer in the center). Run it under piping hot water until the layers peel apart easily. Using a knife, cut a few relatively thin (1/8th of an inch thick) slices of that fuzzy mushroom stem and sandwich it between the soaked strips of cardboard. Take the sandwiched mycelium cardboard and put it in a ziplock sandwich baggie, but don't close it all the way. You want a bit of air flow, since fungi breathe oxygen just like we do. Keep your fungi at room temperature out of direct sunlight and check back in a week or so. You should see that the mycelium have spiderwebbed out across your cardboard. Once you're confident that you've got enough growth, you can transplant the cardboard (minus the bag, of course) into your substrate of choice. I use sterilized sawdust. Now all you need to do is be sure to provide water (mushrooms are mostly water, after all), a small series of openings for your fungi to sprout fruiting bodies, and keeping your setup in the right temperature range.

Look up some growing guides for more details, but there's a broad overview of growing saprobic mushrooms. Have fun!

>> No.11997029
File: 101 KB, 1081x1279, Craterellus odoratus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997029

>>11997021
Wrong image. Volvariella bomycina is less rare than C. odoratus.

>> No.11997036

>>11997021
>>11997029
Sweet. Thanks.

>> No.11997058
File: 484 KB, 1843x1382, Lactarius paradoxus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997058

edible

>>11997036
No problem. /out/ has regular mushroom foraging threads and /an/ has some very knowledgeable mycologists that hang around, so visit those boards if you want to learn more about the subject.

>> No.11997098
File: 91 KB, 600x450, Gomphus purpurescens.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997098

ugly but also pretty

>> No.11997102
File: 100 KB, 708x590, Strobilomyces floccopus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997102

edible

>> No.11997110
File: 71 KB, 509x420, Entoloma bloxami.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997110

thicc

>> No.11997154

>>11993866
You destroy it during the cooking process.
You don't eat them raw like a savage, do you?

>> No.11997178
File: 85 KB, 226x212, shrek8.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997178

>>11993533
wooden vegetables

>> No.11997185

>>11997154
Yeah, sometimes. They're very nice raw. Either sliced up and put in a salad or just popped whole in your mouth for a quick snack.

>> No.11997194
File: 116 KB, 800x600, Agaricus xanthodermus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11997194

>>11997185
You should always cook your mushrooms, anon.
Except the ones in pic related. Don't eat those.

>> No.11998162

>>11993500
i wouldn't worry about it

>> No.11998174

>>11996968
And gorgeous, to boot.

>> No.11998245

>>11998162
t. fungus
What are you scheming you bastard

>> No.11998383

>>11993484
dude they are delicious as fuck

>> No.11998391

>>11996874
>>11996847
The inherent mushroom flavor is simply unappealing, especially when cooked

>> No.11998393

how the fuck does op make bread? does op avoid all alcohol like a mor(m)on?

>> No.11998965

>>11998391
I disagree, though adding flavors does certainly make it better.

>> No.11998966

>>11993484
We aren't dangerous don't reject us embrace us. Eat your fungi my child

>> No.11999053

>>11993484
They breath like people but live like plants

>> No.11999056

>>11998966
Nice try you crafty son of a bitch

>> No.11999123

>>11993484
There is nothing wrong eating mushrooms and you should just read up on safe eating mushrooms. We like to be eaten on regularly and provide many vitamins and micronutrients for the human body.

>> No.11999410
File: 81 KB, 842x792, 1544541984665.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11999410

>>11999123
>We
Why the fuck did all these fungi show up in my thread? What do you bastards want from me?

>> No.11999588

>>11999410
Eat us

>> No.11999601
File: 7 KB, 274x184, 1543161204741.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11999601

>>11999588
Fuck off I'm not eating any mushrooms

>> No.11999660

>>11999601
Don't make us force you

>> No.11999687

>>11999410
We have been informed about your thread

>> No.11999714

You have already consumed us. We are in your bread and in your beer and in every fermented food. We are everywhere there is no escape

>> No.11999737

Fucking fungusposters

>> No.11999749

>>11993484
thanks for the heads up m8, I'll be careful.

>> No.11999761
File: 169 KB, 1094x836, isi shrooms.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11999761

I trust you know why the mushroom got invited to all the parties?

>> No.12000039

>>11993484
What ever you do, don't accept any special deliveries.

>> No.12000080
File: 82 KB, 480x279, chicken4801.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12000080

Any of you guys ever had chicken of the forest? I want to try it but can't figure out where to buy it. Do I have to go and pick it myself?

>> No.12000088

So how long should you wait after the rain to go mushroom picking? Just got an assload here in commiefornia and has been on and off for like a month.

>> No.12000097

>>12000080
Mushrooms like that are hard to buy and often expensive as hell, you need to find a mushroom dealer (no, seriously, that is a thing), or an unusually well stocked market and go at the right time of year.

If they don't grow in your area then expect to spend serious money.

>> No.12000105

>>12000088
Also, have a family friend who has been picking and eating local shrooms for about 40 years so I'll be getting identify confirmations from him.

>> No.12000112

>>11993484
It seems evidence is now clearly pointing to the fact mushrooms are alien invaders intent on colonizing earth. We've met the enemy, and it's the mushroom.

https://www.matrixdisclosure.com/mushrooms-species-aliens-hypothesis/

>> No.12000119

>>11993484
What's the matter? They're just like any other meat, Anon.

>> No.12000142

>>12000112
>The Tzimisce Antediluvian, through advanced mastery of Vicissitude, has become a gigantic (miles-long) pseudo-fungal infestation under the tri-state area. Its consciousness is spread across thousands of creatures, and it can form bodies or new selves at will.

>> No.12000222
File: 159 KB, 887x1200, 1550262444277.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12000222

>>11999660
>>11999687
>>11999714
>>12000080
GET OUT OF MY THREAD YOU FUCKING FUNGUS ASSHOLES

>> No.12000226

>>11996986
They also are. As are champignons, crimini...etc.
The white ones are also basically identical to the brown ones, in all but appearance.

>> No.12000227

>>11993484
>resembles a plant
>can show up fully formed and gigantic within hours
They are pretty creepy.

>> No.12000240

Mushrooms taste good, look good, give good times, clean up after us. All in all, pretty cool dudes.

>> No.12000249

Fungi are friend

>> No.12000251

>>12000222
Hypothetically, if I were a mushroom what would I gain from convincing you to eat me? Hypothetically that is, ha ha.

>> No.12000254
File: 507 KB, 2500x1406, mushrooms.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12000254

>>12000222
B E C O M E O N E W I T H T H E F U N G U S

>> No.12000257
File: 76 KB, 640x900, chicken-and-dumplings-1-5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12000257

Made chicken and dumplings yesterday. Turned out great. What's your favorite cold day comfy meal?

>> No.12000279

>>12000227
I had a massive bloom of them in the woods near my house last summer, went out one day and there was nothing, the next day there were 6 inch mushrooms in a big patch. Cool as hell that they bloom rapidly.

>> No.12000366

>>12000257
why didn't you just make your own thread?

>> No.12000373

>>12000257
fuck outta here

>> No.12000438

>>12000257
Mushrooms

>> No.12000445

You ever notice if you eat too fast and don't chew your mushrooms they just pass through you?

>> No.12001874
File: 888 KB, 220x220, 1546531818916.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12001874

>>12000445
>>12000438
STOP
WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE THE FUNGI LEAVE
THERES LITERALLY BILLIONS OF PLANETS WHY DID YOU PICK THIS ONE
GO AWAY

>> No.12001898

>>12001874
You were chosen. Eat us

>> No.12001903

>>11993643
Get a load of this guy

>> No.12001914
File: 64 KB, 500x343, BA949C1F-269A-4F84-A764-57FCC67BBF6F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12001914

>>12001874
The fungi were here before humans were. Go get your own planet, twolegs.

>> No.12002059

>>12001874
We ruled over this planet long before you humans did

>> No.12002063

>>12001874
We operate on multiple planets at the same time

>> No.12002065

>>11993884
there are people who believe all kinds of things are suddenly poisonous

milk, bread, meat, tomatoes, fungus

honestly I hope they all get so paranoid about their foods that they just starve to death

>> No.12002070

>>12002065
Inform yourself about fungal intelligence

>> No.12002073

>>11996949
I love those. Too bad they turn into black sludge the microsecond they are too old.

>> No.12002087

>>12000080
There's a bigass oak forest few miles from where I live so I can pick as much of them as I want every fall. Suck it.

>> No.12002095

>>12002070
they dissolve into simple micronutrients

>> No.12002104

Are Americans really like this?

>> No.12002141

H E I L F U N G U S

>> No.12002155
File: 63 KB, 697x463, laughing moles.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12002155

>>11999761
He was a fun guy

>> No.12002157

>>12002087
What do they taste like?

>> No.12002162

>>12002157
Stop it! Don't encourage them!

>> No.12002168

>>12002157
Pretty tasty but somewhat mild mushroom taste and they have this really nice dense texture.

>> No.12002179
File: 57 KB, 250x250, FreeWillIsALie.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12002179

>>11993484
I've been meaning to make more mushroom soup for a while now

>> No.12002185

>>12002157
Delicious like a vegetable but meatier. Come join us

>> No.12002188

I like cooked mushrooms but they're seriously fucking creepy things. Some emit dangerous spores that you wouldn't notice, some literally take over ant brains to spread further, some just look like lovecraftian horrors with disgusting sticky red liquids seeping out of them like flesh wounds.
If scientists suddenly report that these fucking things actually did come from space, i wouldn't doubt it even if it was announced on April first.

>> No.12002222

>>11994596
That hat is made of a material called amadou, which is basically tinder fungus felt. His hat is made of mushrooms.

>> No.12002229
File: 9 KB, 216x167, larrylonik.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12002229

larry 'tree' lonik the morel mushroom man

>> No.12002426

Fucking faggot ass fungus hater

>> No.12002437

Fungus is love fungus is life

>> No.12002504
File: 359 KB, 1080x1080, sketch-1551956038197.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12002504

>ITT:

>> No.12002507

>>11996003
These are good, but cleaning them is difficult in my experience. No matter how much I rinse them I feel like I'm eating a bit for dirt.

>> No.12002520

>>12002504
this. you can tell >>12002437 is a filthy fungus posing as a human being, pretending to be among us.

>> No.12002535

>>12002520
Fungi aren't filthy also I'm not a fungus. Eat your mushrooms

>> No.12002553

>>11993484
I bet you're a fun guy at parties.

>> No.12003178

>>12000257
F U N G U S

>> No.12003298

>>11993484
They taste like my cat.

>> No.12003306

>>12003298
Are you sure your cat isn't a mushroom in disguise?

>> No.12003309
File: 88 KB, 475x325, large.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12003309

>>12003306
Oh fuck it's right next to them.

>> No.12003327

>>12003309
Some mushrooms can disguise themselves to confuse predators, like a mimic octopus only fungi. I think your 'cat' is one such case.

>> No.12003462

>>12003327
Fungi would never disguise themselfs to trick someone. Especially not on the internet. They are kind beings.

>> No.12003464

>>12003462
This, we're harmless.

>> No.12003524

>>11993500
I laughed, though. I like your humor.

>> No.12003531

Q: What did the fungi say when he was offered seconds at dinner?

A: "No thanks, I don't have mushroom left in my stomach."

>> No.12003629

>>12000445
Did you seriously not know that humans can’t digest cellulose? The same thing would happen with any vegetable or fruit as well.

>> No.12003645

>>12003629
I dunno I usually chew so I never paid it much attention.

>> No.12003685

Can we make fungusposting into a meme?

>> No.12003689

>>12003685
Sure, it's pretty Reddit-tier which is appropriate for 4chan(nel) these days.

>> No.12003759

>>11994657
>off

What does this even mean

>> No.12003858
File: 165 KB, 618x596, 1549621374529.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12003858

>>11993484
Icky mushrooms and icky sea food thingies :((((( mummie gimmie tendies and pepperoni pizza!!!

>> No.12003995

>>12003858
You're not fooling anyone you fucking fungus

>> No.12004232
File: 55 KB, 600x403, BlackTrumpetMushroom.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12004232

*blocks your path*

>> No.12004632

What do these fungi gain from us eating them? Nothing. So you should all keep eating them.

>> No.12004706

>>12004632
Nice try fungi

>> No.12004720
File: 1018 KB, 1080x1440, sketch-1552002598512.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12004720

>>12004706
Fuck. You got me.

>> No.12004734

It's hilarious when you keep pushing an unfunny joke further into the ground, isn't it, Reddit?

>> No.12004747

>>12004734
Man anon you're so cool

>> No.12004756

>>12004747
Thanks. Upvoted, capped, and uploaded to imgur.

>> No.12004805

>>12004632
Spore propagation. They survive the human digestive processes so when you shit, they grow. Those things are insidiously resilient, don't let them fool you with the kind of digressions they're throwing out itt.

>> No.12005081

>>11996573
for you

>> No.12005100
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12005100

>>12001898
>>12001914
>>12002059
>>12002063
>>12002535
>>12003464
>>12004720
well i guess that's that then