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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 197 KB, 1720x1227, starbucks black coffee 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11847030 No.11847030[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

>> No.11847039

We already did this today. Come back tomorrow.

>> No.11847048

>>11847030
Why would you even pay for a 5 dollar coffee if you're just going to drown it out with 10 cents worth of cream and sugar
Just drink a milkshake you fucking n word, it tastes better than any shitty coffee

>> No.11847064

>>11847048
espresso coffee at starbucks costs $2.50 for an americano

>> No.11847069

>>11847030
t. Assblasted baby that puts sugar and cream in coffee

>> No.11847086
File: 113 KB, 332x332, he cute pin head.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11847086

>be fat
>decide to cut out the sugar and cream in your coffee
>realize black coffee tastes pretty good
>start happily getting black coffee all the time
>OP is angry because he thinks the only black thing men should swallow is cock

>> No.11847095

black coffee is a woman thing
all the guys at work make fun of me for drinking it even though all their wives do also
t. female construction worker

>> No.11847096

>>11847030
i prefer black when the beans are shit (aka not starbucks)

>> No.11847132

>>11847039
what do you mean did this today? how many hours a day do you spend on a cooking board? get a fucking job or a life

>> No.11847137
File: 163 KB, 639x639, FaceApp_1503240862757.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11847137

>>11847086
>start losing weight due to reducing sugar intake and palate changes because of rich flavors, helping you choose healthier options for food

>> No.11847139

>>11847095
that's a weird way to spell stripper

>> No.11847145

I like coffee with some sugar, no cream or milk though
then it's kinda like a weird tea

>> No.11847889

Coffee is not good

>> No.11848661

I like all variations. I often just switch it up.

>> No.11848672

Nigga I just want coffee.

>> No.11848677

>>11847030
Who orders black coffee at Starbucks? Nobody. You need something to drown out that burnt flavor. Dumb image.