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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Wed Dec 19 18:19:50 2018 No.11635596 [DELETED]

[Reply] [Original]

Bros, what are some /ck/ approved meals that will turn my new gf into my own personal slampig?

The endgame is to send this sow to my local brap farm and share her work with the common man.

Anonymous Wed Dec 19 18:37:26 2018 No.11635670

>>11635596
>brap farm
I would recommend killing yourself.
To get her fat make her go through a balance of hight fructose sugars; carbs and everything fried, its better if no vegetables and no water , only sodas or alchohol.
Dont forget to kill yourself though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 18:38:39 2018 No.11635674 >>11635596 imagine the smell

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 20:44:42 2018 No.11636181 >>11635596 Housewife

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 20:48:45 2018 No.11636208 >>11636181 Tried and true

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 20:51:53 2018 No.11636224 >>11636181 Damn, you sound so wise and old. Teach me more about life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:18:42 2018 No.11636725 >>11635596 Late night desserts, first you get yours, then I get mine

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:27:29 2018 No.11636786 I need this

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:36:31 2018 No.11636848 moar

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:51:15 2018 No.11636922 this is the kind of gal I would pull a "Squint's" for. I bet she pulls 5 "drown" victims out of the pool a day

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:53:32 2018 No.11636942 >>11635674 fuck man i am trying so hard not to but I CANT! haha

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:55:04 2018 No.11636949 Use more butter when you bake stuff. It will taste better and she will want to eat more of it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 22:55:54 2018 No.11636956 >>11636922 imagine her performing cpr on you with her thighs god i wish that were me

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 23:05:22 2018 No.11636997 >>11636922 really? she's pretty meh for a lifeguard(ess)

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 23:06:54 2018 No.11637003 >>11635596 jesus christ my fucking dick

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 23:07:08 2018 No.11637004 >>11635596 Golly OP, what is a brap farm?

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 19 23:11:47 2018 No.11637020 Smoothies with half and half as a base add lots of sugar a banana some kale for color and top it with some chia seeds to really sell the whole thing. Good luck on your slam piggy

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 08:33:23 2018 No.11638406 >>11635670 killing yourself is an oft overlooked but important step in this process, i hope OP remembers to do it

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 09:13:55 2018 No.11638529 File: 159 KB, 824x270, 1523723570393.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11635596

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 09:25:14 2018 No.11638571 >>11636956 Haha that would be funny haha

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 09:26:53 2018 No.11638573 Despite our differences, I think we can all agree, that brap posting is the best thing to come from this place.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 09:53:05 2018 No.11638648 File: 13 KB, 480x360, brap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11638573 yes

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 09:56:00 2018 No.11638656 >>11638573 It's a close race between that and mcchicken threads

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 10:21:08 2018 No.11638726 >>11638656 three way tie with Bang's root beer

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 10:53:27 2018 No.11638798 File: 48 KB, 500x575, nmmmmmmm.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 10:56:34 2018 No.11638804 File: 30 KB, 500x489, 1541370800854.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 11:00:00 2018 No.11638810 >>11635596 You're doing it wrong. Slampig is side piece, not gf.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 11:41:23 2018 No.11638938 >>11638810 this

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:38:03 2018 No.11639178 brap

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:44:40 2018 No.11639201 >>11638573 Brap posting is from /fit/ tho... And /lit/ a bit too. /ck did not really help that meme out at all.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:47:31 2018 No.11639216 >>11638810 But what if you and your slampig fall in love? Does she graduate from slampig to... slamfriend? Slamwife?

Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:50:17 2018 No.11639232

>>11638810
Wrong slam pig is a wife who will cuddle you in soft warmth but be so insecure she lets you run around like a filthy dog on her and you bang thin young stupid college butches who never even figure out your real name or that you're married and you just ghost them and before they think too much about it they have another shot with cock chaser and stumble across the auditorium podium to make "mommy and daddy proud" and you're back home with a fresh made dinner by your chonky wife telling your son he has to get lower and keep his head up if he wants to finish off the tackle next time.
Rinse. Repeat.

Never. Ever. Marry. A. Woman. With. Self. Esteem.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:52:44 2018 No.11639247 File: 21 KB, 300x515, T H I C C n J U I C Y.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11635596 D A T A Z Z T H I C C

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:53:56 2018 No.11639254 >>11639201 I meant 4chan in general. Brap posting can't be contained to one board. It is a gift and we're all better for it

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:54:12 2018 No.11639256 >>11639216 >But what if you and your slampig fall in love? Then you're doing it wrong. >>11639232 >Never. Ever. Marry. A. Woman. With. Self. Esteem. This only applies to men who are unable to maintain the upper hand in a relationship.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:54:35 2018 No.11639258 File: 2.13 MB, 2418x640, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11635596 ask it to the master himself

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 12:55:22 2018 No.11639262 File: 89 KB, 568x640, Nogs Love T H I C C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11639247 >T H I C C

Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:00:16 2018 No.11639286

>>11639256
Try to maintain an upper hand without a prenup you dumb motherfucker. Try to convince a woman that thinks highly of herself to get a prenup. Good fucking luck. Say goodbye to half your assets, all your kids time and paying for it too.

The only way to keep the upper hand is to keep their ego low.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:01:33 2018 No.11639289 >>11639258 Based brosnan.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:01:35 2018 No.11639290 File: 42 KB, 600x800, W H A L E hunter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11639247 >T H I C C

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:02:59 2018 No.11639298 >>11639258 This is why you never marry a crazy, self centered, feminist liberal woman. She probably thinks she looks "beautiful" in that last pic.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:14:21 2018 No.11639338 >>11639298 >implying she doesn't >implying I wouldn't bathe in mommy brosnans milkies

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:18:05 2018 No.11639349 >>11639298 hello /pol/, got lost aren't you?

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:21:31 2018 No.11639358 >>11639349 >he doesn't realize half of /ck/ is pol shills

Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:28:02 2018 No.11639384

get her to drink beer. that is by far the quickest way to get fat.

>t. beer drinker who made my chubby ex into a landwhale in 5 months of binge drinking.

i went past slam pig into why did i do that i no longer find you attractive territory. Luckily she broke up with me. I miss that fat bitch.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:31:35 2018 No.11639397 >>11638804 >>11638798 >>11638529 BOOP

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:36:15 2018 No.11639411 File: 267 KB, 500x419, All Eyez on THICC.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11639247 >T H I C C Even superstar rappers preferr THICC 'merican cankles over skinny waifs.

>>	Anonymous Thu Dec 20 13:44:08 2018 No.11639441 >>11639358 It takes a little while, but /ck/ posters almost always eventually realize /pol/ is right all along.

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