/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.11454764]

What is the worst dish you've ever made?

[Anonymous No.11454851]

A satellite dish

[Anonymous No.11454861]

Dish soap

[Anonymous No.11454862]

>>11454764
I'm worried that it'll be this black bean soup I have cooking on the stove right now, but there's still time for it to magically turn into good stuff.

[Anonymous No.11454873]

I fucked up trying to make a clam chowder once with canned clams. Came out really bland and watery.

The other was the first time trying to grill a bison patty on a grill, it fell apart and fell into the charcoal.

[Anonymous No.11454881]

Barley with canned crab.
Nearly puked after one bite.

[Anonymous No.11454896]

>>11454764
One time I made a dish that wasn't vegan. Yuckers!

[Anonymous No.11454908]

>>11454764
scrambled eggs, tuna and onion.
I regret it very much

[Anonymous No.11454931]

>>11454764
Can someone identify what the fuck this even is? Rice manga, tomato, beef, green pepper of some kind... translucent white sludge? Maybe mashed potato for some reason?
Do I want to know what this is?

[Anonymous No.11454944]

i blended spam and eggs in a magic bullet and fried it into an abominable meat omelette

[Anonymous No.11454957]

>>11454931
>>11454764
Oh my god its Shephards pie.
It is potato. How in the fuck is that translucent shit potato

[Anonymous No.11455531]

>>11454764
I made an awful stirfry once that included a can of squid in ink and a 5 spice blend that was meant for soups. IIRC my friend threw up after having a couple bites.

[Anonymous No.11455953]

i was a retard and used condensed milk when trying to make macaroni and cheese...

[Anonymous No.11455983]

>>11454764
Off the top of my head cauliflower pizza. it was way too moist and stuck to the parchment paper. It was good but messy.

[Anonymous No.11455994]

>>11455531
Isn't it weird how that's not even a pit bull? Retard.

[Anonymous No.11455997]

>>11455994
someone missed the joke

[Anonymous No.11456022]

>>11454764
I'll call that and see you this OP, I was pretty drunk and dumped a bunch of shit onto a leftover slice of pizza. It was far worse than it looked.

[Anonymous No.11456035]

>>11455994
Golden retrievers are the white people of the dog world and the joke is the text is from the golden
You've lost the plot kid

[Anonymous No.11456045]

>>11454764
microwave meatloaf

[Anonymous No.11456051]

>>11455994
>can't figure out how a basic captioned image is constructed
>calls someone a retard
top zozzle

[Anonymous No.11456057]

>>11455994
holy crap is this how retarded pit owners are
no wonder their dogs turn into violent niggers

[Anonymous No.11456059]

>>11456035
Big ass mastiffs are really good too. A GF I went out with when I was a kid had a couple and we didn't want hurt them but we could ride them like little horses. They were that big, we didn't but they were that much bigger than either of us.

More white doggos!

[Anonymous No.11456205]

Boy idk, I’ve had some supreme fuckups in my culinary career. The first time I made marinara sauce I used sweet onions and too much sugar and it ended up tasting like candy. I made some lettuce wraps that made cough ginger through your nose. And I’ve accodentally knocked a bottle of oil into a nearly-finished dish, making the whole thing sickly and unconsumable. As a child I put a corn dog in the microwave for twenty minutes and vaporized it, nearly burning down the kitchen. Ive oversalted eggs and hammered the fuck out of some chicken

Can’t say OP. I’ve made so many mistakes

[Anonymous No.11456232]

>>11456022
Dear GOD what did you put on it, fucking sherbet?

[Anonymous No.11456265]

>>11454764
In terms of worst taste, when I made lentil soup and added a little vinegar to give it some tang, but added too much and it hurt to eat.

In terms of worst fucking of up the dish, when I tried to make a tomato rice soup and accidentally made spanish rice instead. It was good enough but it wasn't soup.

I stay away from making soups now unless it's out of a can.

[Anonymous No.11456273]

>>11456265
>It was good enough but it wasn't soup.
lel I don't remember the last time I made soup that didn't end up having the consistency of a risotto
I like pasta too much

[Anonymous No.11456274]

>>11456051
>zozzle

You know that Zozzle was just a marketing campaign for Xyzal (pronounced the same) right?

[Anonymous No.11456286]

I got hammered and made Ramen noodles with eggs i cracked into it, peanut butter, sour creme, ranch, siracha sauce, cut up turkey hot dog, and ripped up white bread. I scarffed that shit down, and i could still taste it in the morning. My roommates wouldnt even look at me the same. I thought it was pretty good.. fucking years and years ago

[Anonymous No.11456479]

>>11454764
Cincinnati chili.

t. Texan, severely disappointed. Who the fuck cinnamon and chocolate in their chilli?

[Anonymous No.11456630]

>>11456286
10/10 would eat that a 3 am hammered drunk. Wouldn't put the bread in id rather use it to strategically sop up the slop of sauces and processed meat.

[Anonymous No.11456642]

>>11456205
>I put a corn dog in the microwave for twenty minutes and vaporized it, nearly burning down the kitchen
How young were you? Surely at some point you could smell the carbon burning and tried to stop the microwave.

[Anonymous No.11456652]

>>11456274
now ask me if I give a fuck

[Anonymous No.11458745]

>>11456652
D...do you give a fuck?

[Anonymous No.11458751]

Toenail Pie

[Anonymous No.11458758]

>>11454764
A giant mushroom topped with fruity cheese and baked for a while.
I have no idea why the fuck I thought it was a good idea, I don't even like mushrooms.

[Anonymous No.11458759]

>>11456479
I'm in Cleveland and people have been trying to spread that shit up here. Shit sucks. I apologize on behalf of my state.

[Anonymous No.11458946]

>>11455994
based retard

[Anonymous No.11458972]

>>11456479
Cocoa is good in moderation, it goes well with the chili peppers. Cinnamon is fuckin' gross though, as is serving it over pasta

[Anonymous No.11458981]

>>11454764
>What is the worst dish you've ever made?

Beer cheese soup. It never...souped. It was this thick, pasty mass that had this foul, funky flavor to it. I tossed the lot after half a bowl.

[Anonymous No.11459210]

>>11455994
Bitch

[Anonymous No.11459531]

My friends think its the worst I've made. Basically I made those smiley fries then after they were done I put a chopped up hotdog, cheese and sour cream on top. I still find it one of the bests i've ever made.

[Anonymous No.11459544]

>>11454851
underrated

[Anonymous No.11459580]

>>11456022
>It was far worse than it looked.
How is that possible? What am I looking at?

[Anonymous No.11459620]

>>11458745
no I do not

[Anonymous No.11459654]

>>11454764
Olive soup comes to mind.

Really, it was mostly just a random soup made from assorted leftovers in the fridge, most of which were acceptable soup things (ham, onions, peppers, celery). Then I started adding random spices and such, and in a fit of throwing random shit in the pot, I decided it was a good idea to dump in a container of olives, juice and all. This was not a brilliant idea; I ended up with an unpleasantly sour and salty broth, with the olives themselves becoming hard floating balls of misery.

No one who tried any of it wanted more, and I was forced to admit that that particular experiment was a terrible idea.

[Anonymous No.11459775]

>>11459654
>My friends

[Anonymous No.11459787]

>>11459531
>My friends

[Anonymous No.11460726]

>>11454764
One of the first times I made dinner at college I was trying to make pork chops and fried rice. I got onions and vegetables to make the fried rice but I used half an onion for just myself. I was just trying to add a bit of the flavor but I hate onions and it was way too much and made me feel sick. Worse than that, I cooked the 1" pork chops on the stove for like 20 minutes total. Threw up all the next day.

[Anonymous No.11462219]

>>11454957
>that eldritch horror is meant to be shepherd's pie

[Anonymous No.11462246]

When I was very young I had the brilliant idea of mixing peanut butter and milk using the infallible logic that it works for chocolate syrup so it will work for peanut butter. The result was a very messy countertop, a ton of peanut butter stuck to the bottom of a glass, and milk that tasted like oil and sadness.

[Anonymous No.11462248]

>>11458745
i care anon

[Anonymous No.11462251]

>>11454764
Apart from not following a recipe correctly, boxed Kraft mac and cheese with steamed broccoli florets and canned tuna chunks.

[Anonymous No.11462259]

I tried to fry an egg in cast iron several times over the course of a few days

[Anonymous No.11462304]

Chili with a fuck ton of nuclear grade hot sauce, no tomatoes, only beans meat and sausage

I ate two bowls

[Anonymous No.11462315]

Tried to cheat making stew and added powdered potato to quicken the thickening process, added too much and ended up with cement.

[Anonymous No.11462320]

>>11454957
>it's actually possible to fuck up that much

[Anonymous No.11462523]

made an egg and cheese, which i cooked wtih way too much oil, and tried to toast the bread on the pan but the heat was too low and it just absorbed all the oil and it was a grease monster. a disgusting act. 1 bite and i was done with that shit

[Anonymous No.11462527]

>>11459654
in hindsight do you think u could have repurposed it for anything?

[Anonymous No.11462554]

>>11456642
What? As a young kid your mind goes to "oh gosh, mom is gonna beat me with the broom handle again if I mess up"
Then you run and hide as the problem intensifies, like any little kid would.

[Anonymous No.11462556]

>>11456022
So did you pick it up out of the toilet first or did you just have her drop that abortion right from pussy to pizza?

[Anonymous No.11462570]

>>11454862
You can't fuck it up if you add cumin, fresh coriander and lime juice.

[Anonymous No.11462572]

>>11456232
>>11459580
>>11462556
I was a few years ago and I was pretty drunk and had a hangover at the time and it seemed good at the time to get rid of some leftover stuff. I think it was an egg with tomato sauce and who knows what else. I ended up throwing it away.
Just thinking about it makes me wretch a bit. At least it's OC.

[Anonymous No.11462575]

>>11456273
How can you be this bad at cooking? If too much water evaporates you can just add more water, retard.

[Anonymous No.11462578]

>>11455994
I sometimes forget there are retards like you on 4chan

[Anonymous No.11463491]

Attempted a cajun chicken ficassee the other night. For some reason I decided to add poultry seasoning at the end and it made the whole thing taste like old dried thyme. Also cooked the chicken too long in the gravy and it made the meat have a weird consistancy.

[Anonymous No.11463505]

>>11456479
cinci chili is fine as long as you make it from scratch. forget the coco and just throw some cinnamon in as an accent for the heat like you would nutmeg or cloves