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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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11294043 No.11294043 [Reply] [Original]

I just forgot the first rule of handling hot peppers. Didn't wash my hands before touching my dick. Share your recent cooking fuckups to help me forget about my agony.

>> No.11294146

>>11294043
Didn't you just make this stupid fucking thread?

>> No.11294760

>>11294043
Just got a brand new japanese chefs knife. Forget how factory sharp that shit comes and cut the bejesus out of myself by accident for a few days. My hands are covered in bandaids. I ain't even mad.

>> No.11294801

>>11294043
I added one too many jalapenos to my chili. Still good, but the flavor is a little overwhelming now

>> No.11294834

I slashed my right hand open while cleaning the extraction, and trimmed off the fingertip off my left hand littlefinger while cutting butternut squashes. Gotta work in gloves now

>> No.11294952

>>11294146
Yeah, I did it again

>> No.11295259
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11295259

>>11294952

>> No.11295283

>working the line, prepping my station for service
>dicing peppers
>cut my thumb like a retard
>no sympathy from the other cooks
>"learn to use a knife!"
>gauze it up and throw on a finger cot, work my shift
>two stitches at the walk in clinic after work
I also cut off the tip of my thumb, chopping bacon. I swear I know how to chop properly, I'm just retarded sometimes.

>> No.11295294

>>11294801
You're going to really regret the extra jalapenos later, but I like my chili spicy as hell.

>> No.11295299

>>11294043
In case anyone hasn't seen the video:
https://youtu.be/cozHUec4sPc

>> No.11295358

>>11295294
Shockingly havent had spicy shits from the stuff yet

>> No.11295381

>>11295358
Your asshole gets a higher pain tolerance, same as your mouth, the more you eat spicy foods.

>> No.11295435

Oh vey, wait until my spice dehydrator thread is here. Thats what happen when a chemist goes 1488 because his habos got fungis because to slow dehydration.

Im dehydrate without heat or Sun down to 0% H2O so its as Spicy as a fresh one

>> No.11295521

>>11295381
Does jamming things up it help too?

>> No.11295572

>>11295283
>>11294834
Once I cut my finger to the bone, including through the fingernail on my left hand middle finger when cutting lemons for work (at a bar)
Didn't get stitches but probably should have, shit took forever to heal. I've never cut myself with a knife since that day because it hurt so fucking bad. Lemon juice in the wound is the first thing you feel, and about ten seconds later is when you feel the actual cut. Like insult to injury...

>> No.11295678

>>11295572
I cut my pinky to the bone, index finger to the bone; my left hand is cut the fuck up because I'm an idiot and cooking is hard.
Five years and I still do stupid shit now and again.
I tried to put out a grease fire with water last week. I know that's retarded but I did it anyway.

>> No.11295686

>>11295521
Why don't you try and report back with your findings?

>> No.11295698

>>11294043
I fell for /ck/ meme and got vaark sauce. Tastes like some bitter fire sauce you would get at Taco Bell. I ferment my own hot sauce and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper and better

>> No.11295738

>>11295698
Give us a quick rundown on fermenting your own hot sauce

>> No.11295817

>makin a pumpkin pie for thanksgiving 5 years ago
>forgot to clean metric cup used for peanut butter cookies
>whevs
>family eats it
>faggot cousin starts choking and grasping throat
>hes allergic to nuts
>has a fucking seizure or something
>amberlamps called
>toss the pie then literally sprint home

>> No.11296981

>>11295738
My best recipe:
25 Fresno (red jalapeños)
8 habaneros
2 red bell peppers
1 cut mango
1 bulb garlic
1 tsp each mustard seed, cumin seed
4 cloves, 1 anise pod crushed
1 large white onion
2/3 of a ginger root crushed
Seed the peppers. Roast 2/3 of the vegetables and let cool down. Rough dice everything in food process, add together to a fermenting crock. Stir daily and cover top with new piece of plastic wrap every day. Let ferment for 10 days. Blend together and add distilled white vinegar until it’s 30% of the total volume

>> No.11297382

>>11294043
The burn can be nice if it stays outside your dick. Afterwards cool down with some thrush cream

>> No.11297541

>>11295817
lel

>> No.11297843

>>11294043
I JUST DID THIS THE OTHER DAY TOO, FUCK!