How do I drink alcohol?

[Anonymous No.11167682]

H-hey guys! Today I greet you all from r9k and I have a little question for you. How does one properly enjoy a bottle of Vodka, pouring it in a glass or chugging it down directly from the bottle? And what kind of food can one eat between sips? I have some cheese Lay's if it's any good. And I put the bottle in the fridge by the way, will it be OK?Please don't make fun of me, I never really tried this before.

[Anonymous No.11167692]

Boiled eggs, pickles of all sorts, boiled or roasted potatoes.

Pour a shot's worth and drink it over the course of a few sips instead of a single gulp. Then have a beer and eat some of your snacks. Keep rotating like that. A few beers in you might want to pause and have a small meal of chicken and vegetables of some sort.

The morning after, mix a raw egg with olive oil and gulp that down as a restorative.

[Anonymous No.11167698]

>>11167682
Hard boiled eggs and pickles.
As well as cheese sticks.

[Anonymous No.11167701]

>>11167692
>>11167698
do you just want to kill me or is it genuine? I heard it's not good to mix different kinds of alcohol together

[Anonymous No.11167702]

>>11167692
>drink alcohol for the first time
>become Russian overnight

[Anonymous No.11167705]

>>11167692
>>11167698
kindly fuck off

[Anonymous No.11167706]

>>11167682
Ok, if you're new to drinking you want a mixer, coke or irn bru, something like that. Mix it alcohol first and go easy on that, you will be able to drink more in time. Carbs and starch are the foods you will want. Crisps like walkers (lays) are fine but if it's your first time drinking treat yourself to a takeaway

[Anonymous No.11167708]

>>11167701
Even if you take that as true (which I don't), vodka would have to be the exception. It is alcohol and water and little else. Chemically, mixing it with anything is just like having that other thing with a higher alcohol content.

[Anonymous No.11167711]

Milk.

Milk and lime juice.

[Anonymous No.11167713]

>>11167701
It's all ethanol
>>11167706
And don't forget, all food is fine drunk so ultimately order what looks good

[Anonymous No.11167714]

>>11167701
Ideally if you've never drank before you are going to want to limit it to one type of alcohol and something with a lower ABV then liquor. Drinking a bunch of liquor for your first time isn't going to be fun at all, you'll get too drunk too quickly and it'll be a bad time.

Get a six pack of a beer of your choice, drink one the first hour and if your stomach feels fine, have another and rinse and repeat. That would be the "safest" way to go about it in my opinion.

[Anonymous No.11167715]

Chugging and shots are for sorority girls. If you're going to drink, drink to enjoy it. Alcoholism is expensive and highly idiosyncratic. You have to do a lot of self-experimentation to find what works for you.

Since you said vodka, I like Grey Goose cold (from the freezer) with a little bit of lime juice. This doesn't mean you'll like Grey Goose from the freezer with lime juice. It also doesn't mean you'll like Stoli mixed with ginger beer, or Zubrowka in a martini. Try lots of things and find what works for you.

Lots of people order cocktails until they find something interesting, then autistically iterate on that one cocktail until they find their thing.

See you on the transplant wait list.

[Anonymous No.11167717]

>>11167711
I genuinely knock back a litre of jersey milk when drinking as a liquid meal

[Anonymous No.11167742]

>>11167705
Was that called for?

[Anonymous No.11167752]

only real men eat hard boiled eggs and pickles when drinking like a slav.
its a test of strength, if you can eat the most eggs and pickles while drunk without puking you win

[Anonymous No.11167775]

>>11167682
Basically what already >>11167692 suggested. Anything vinegar-y, sweet/sour or tangy is godlike with hard liqour. Pickles, bread with lard, sauerkraut and potatoes with various condiments are probs the best
My own suggestion is with each swig of vodka, take a bite of a raw tomato. For me absolute go-to, especially when wandering in the countryside. Drinking in the nature is pure joy

[Anonymous No.11167791]

>>11167682
salted cashews and guzzling it straight from the bottle

[Anonymous No.11167792]

>>11167692
You forgot whole cloves of garlic

[Anonymous No.11167804]

>>11167701
The only issue with mixing alcohols is if you drink beer or wine then switch to hard alcohol, you're a bit more likely to end up drinking more than you should that way, but it's not like mixing them is inherently bad

[Anonymous No.11167839]

>>11167682
>How does one properly enjoy a bottle of Vodka
You don't. It's supposed to hurt you and make hurting feel good. If you're not hurting you're not drinking enough. And if hurting doesn't feel good you need to drink more.

[Anonymous No.11167851]

op update: shoved it down with some coke, red bull, chips and beer and Im pretty wasted.
still half bottle to go tho. feels awesome and numb. me like it :)

[Anonymous No.11167855]

Gin enemas are great

[Anonymous No.11167858]

>>11167839
this a fucking million times

[Anonymous No.11167868]

>>11167851
Bed time, my friend, if it's really your first time. You don't want to go all the way. Drink some water, too.

You probably shouldn't have mixed it with caffeine.

[Anonymous No.11167872]

>>11167851
You're a retard. There's absolutely no reason to drink if you're not already an alcoholic.

[Anonymous No.11167876]

>>11167851
drink some more soda, no water, don't listen to that idiot, he is trying to give you a hangover. You should eat a couple spoon fulls of sugar to make sure you're not gonna wake up feeling like shit.

The sugar helps to replenish the nutrients you lost.

[Anonymous No.11167890]

>>11167872
what the fuck kind of logic is that?

thats like saying theres no reason to do crack if you arent already a crackhead?

By that logic, there would be 0 drug users in the world

[Anonymous No.11167895]

>>11167876
>The sugar helps to replenish the nutrients you lost.

Kek'd

[Anonymous No.11167898]

>>11167682
drink 2 units and it is uplifting, drink more and it starts to have unpleasant effects, dilute with coca cola or liquer or it will deplete the stomach mucus lining and give you indigestion

[Anonymous No.11167904]

>>11167851
>>11167895
Drinking the leftover pickling brine straight from the jar is absolutely the best way of preventing hangover AND getting your nutrients back
Extra glucose only fucks your metabolism further up, don't listen to >>11167876, he's a fag

[Anonymous No.11167910]

>>11167904
fuck you faggot, I was giving real advice first.

op if you listen to this faggot I garentuee you, you'll wake up hung over.

drink a bunch of soda, each some sugary snacks, and replenish those nutrients and minerals, salty snacks are also a good idea, if you drink water the H2O with flood your brain vessels and cause a MASSIVE headache


Please, listen to me op

[Anonymous No.11167911]

>>11167682
Put the bottle in the freezer overnight, the cold will make it taste smoother.

[Anonymous No.11167933]

>>11167910
objectivity the most redpilled post on this board

[Anonymous No.11168078]

I too feel stupid in not knowing how to drink. Last year I turned 21 and downed about 25% of a bottle of melon liqueur. Got tipsy and the sweetness made me want to puke but somehow didn't. Would get a beer or two once in a blue moon but left it at that between then and now. A month ago I decided why not try harder stuff, so I downed half of a 5th of jack along with three of the 50ml flavored Smirnoff shots in maybe 3 hours puked afterwards and went to sleep. Suprisingly I've never had a hang over, as far as I know unless I sleep it off.

[Anonymous No.11168126]

>>11167692

You're a madman. Clearly OP is not well versed in consuming booze, and you're dead-set on turning him into a squatting slav over the course of an afternoon. The least you could do is send him an Adidas tracksuit and a pack of cigarettes.

[Anonymous No.11168143]

I'm gonna take some acid in a sec

[Anonymous No.11168146]

>>11168078
Yea nah you don't "sleep off an hangover", unless you're an alcoholic the hangover starts to really set in like an hour after you wake and lasts most of the day. You could technically sleep it off but you'd have to sleep until the evening after

[Anonymous No.11168157]

>>11167682
you dont
drinking is for idiots

[Anonymous No.11168158]

>>11167692
bylat

[Anonymous No.11168167]

>you’ll never get drunk for the first time again
>you’ll never laugh so hard you fall down and laugh even harder with your drunk bros
>you’ll never stumble out for a giddy takeaway
>you’ll never drink alone for the first time again, smoking bowls and feeling warm and comfy listening to your favorite albums that all sound new

[Anonymous No.11168168]

>>11168146
he puked, he probably upchucked a lot of the alchohol he took in

[Anonymous No.11168172]

>>11168167
>>you’ll never stumble out for a giddy takeaway
m8 I think you mean
a cheeky nandos

[Anonymous No.11168185]

>>11168172
I’m American, I honestly don’t even know why I said takeaway...too much time here I guess.

>tfw American and you’ll never have a cheeky Nando’s with the lads

[Anonymous No.11168192]

>>11168185
>I honestly don’t even know why I said takeaway
because that's the proper english

[Anonymous No.11168275]

>>11167682
Mix the vodka in a glass with your favorite soft drink.
Example: 20% vodka 80% coca cola

Drink slowly since it's your first time.

[Anonymous No.11168292]

>>11168078
>not knowing how to drink
It's easy. Just keep drinking it drink it until you can't go a day without drinking it anymore. You'll be an expert in no time.

[Anonymous No.11168295]

>>11167682
Heed my words robotfag. I used to drink a retarded amount of vodka. You'll find it more palatable if you chill your vodka. Mix about 50 ml (size of a shooter) with a glass of orange juice. You can substitute cranberry juice with a twist of lime if you prefer. Drink at a moderate rate until you find the head change you're looking for. That said, don't get in over your head. You'll find yourself acting ridiculous and probably doing shit you'll regret.

[Anonymous No.11168334]

so I don't know what exactly happened, I just wake up and I fill like shit, the bottle is empty. how do I recover. Fuck I promise I will never do this again

[Anonymous No.11168342]

>>11168334
drink water and wait
drinking alcohol is dumb and you shouldnt feel pressured to do it

[Anonymous No.11168348]

>>11168342
I still feel like puking tho, is water really okay for me to drink right now?

[Anonymous No.11168349]

>>11168334
That feeling you feel right now, it's in you forever now. It'll grow the more you experience life and you'll always feel like that even if you haven't drank. And you'll drink to make it stop eventually, only to make it grow.

[Anonymous No.11168354]

>>11168348
yes
also just puke

[Anonymous No.11168364]

>>11168354
yes thanks anon for helping, last time I puked I was 14 but I promise not to get too scared if it happens. I love you

[Anonymous No.11168365]

>>11167682
https://www.strawpoll.me/15135125/r

[Anonymous No.11168367]

>>11167692
holy kek

[Anonymous No.11168371]

>>11168364
dont you ever drink again boy
how would your ideal woman be able to love someone like that?

[Anonymous No.11168378]

>>11167851
Don't forget to go out and buy some more before you finish the rest! You'll need some in the morning (go ahead and buy some tomato juice) when you feel a little hungover. Have some toast and some fried eggs and a couple more drinks and you'll be set to start a brand new day!

[Anonymous No.11168379]

>>11168371
are you telling me women don't like drunk abusive cunts? kek are you a boomer or what

[Anonymous No.11168380]

>>11168349
Man is that ever the fucking truth

[Anonymous No.11168388]

>>11168379
only trash "women"

[Anonymous No.11168406]

>>11168378
the birth of an al/ck/

[Anonymous No.11168426]

Drink from the bottle on empty stomach.
It actually has enough calories to be a food by itself

[Anonymous No.11168427]

>>11167682
>How does one properly enjoy a bottle of Vodka

We dont. That's why we're drinking, sacrificing ourselves so others don't have to suffer.

[Anonymous No.11168562]

>>11167682
>H-hey
>please don't make fun of me
I'm from r9k too, which always sucks to admit, but my shame doesn't compel me to post like a wimpy faggot, that's just irritating to read.

[Anonymous No.11169091]

>>11167890
There's no reason to do anything harmful/addictive if you're not already an addict. Just because people are retards who do it is no reason to actually do it.

[Anonymous No.11169246]

>>11167706
This is most UK thing I've read today

[Anonymous No.11169277]

Bы пытaeтecь eгo yбить?

[Anonymous No.11169283]

>>11169277
>>11167692

[Anonymous No.11169352]

>>11167682
Help, I mentioned to my doc about slight anxiety so he can throw me a small bottle of valium and I could be on my way. Instead he ordered a thyroid test. Do I just continue to drink as normal? Give it up for a few days? Reduce and fast for the night before and morning of? I usually drink around 10 or so a day.

Halp!
>should've just kept my damn mouth shut

[Anonymous No.11170480]

>>11167682
Only alcoholics drink vodka straight. If you're brand new to drinking and insist on starting with vodka then either dissolve Jolly Ranchers into it or buy one of those really sugary mixers to pour it in.

>>11167701
You won't kill yourself with vodka unless you pour it up your ass or force yourself to continue drinking after throwing up. I also get the impression you won't make it past the first shot. Try muscato or hard cider instead.

[Anonymous No.11170489]

Why do people drink vodka? It's gross.

Drink scotch.

[Anonymous No.11170537]

>>11170489
Decent vodka isn't gross because it's almost completely neutral. Fuck off with your
>dude I exclusively drink scotch I'm so classy lmao
bullshit.

[Anonymous No.11172044]

>>11167715
Imo the best way is to drink with different friends. Some will like good whiskey, others beer and yet others mixers. Most importantly go with the flow.
Once you build up your taste buy whatever you want, girls will love you for doing it (makes you start out, shows your ability to make your own decisions and split with the herd)

[Anonymous No.11172055]

>>11167895
Uh salsa?

[Anonymous No.11172056]

>>11168146
You can, just drink water and eat big. 3 hours at most.

[Anonymous No.11172157]

>>11167701
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, you are in the clear.
It's not a hard and fast rule but if you are just starting out it's good to keep in mind. The sickest I ever got from drinking was when I was seventeen. I had seven or eight beers at my brother's birthday and the we retired to our room and started slamming back shots of vodka. It was a rough time the next day.

[Anonymous No.11172424]

>>11167682
As you're probably 16 you probs can't afford decent vodka, if you can then drink it straight with ice, another nice mix is with sprite and cucumber syrup.

[Anonymous No.11172473]

>>11167682
First time drinking and going on the hard stuff, I Applaud your heroism, you'd be better off getting some beers, but if you're going to go ahead with, you'll want a mixer, and go easy on the stuff, you'll be black out drunk in a half hour otherwise. pic unrelated.

[Anonymous No.11172477]

>>11167752
For best effect combine the two. There are few things finer than vodka and pickled eggs.

But for OP, are you also asking for drinking technique that will not have you throwing up? I recommend taking super small sips at first. Like just wet your lips and take that in. Look for what you like in the pallet, try to appreciate the unique flavors and sensations. Slowly increase dosage as you become more accustomed. This is how I always ease into a new alcohol. If you jump straight into big swigs you're just gunna trigger your gag.

[Anonymous No.11172515]

>>11172424
wait don't all vodkas taste the same?

[Anonymous No.11172884]

>>11172515
Low quality vodka will taste more "harsh".

[Anonymous No.11173328]

>>11167682
Drink a steely