You can stop looking for it /ck/! I found the white bottle of 'vark sauce! Can't wait to go on the tour of the Secret Aardvark Trading Company factory.

File: 224 KB, 1050x1400, IMG_20180614_171901.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:20:59 2018 No.10758053 [Reply] [Original]

You can stop looking for it /ck/! I found the white bottle of 'vark sauce! Can't wait to go on the tour of the Secret Aardvark Trading Company factory.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:24:05 2018 No.10758070 >>10758053 Serious question, why is this a big joke? Is this sauce some sort of reddit hipster sauce or something?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:25:37 2018 No.10758077 >>10758070 It's not a joke, it's the best sauce on earth.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:27:18 2018 No.10758083 >>10758070 Two anons got into an argument over the sauce. Afterwards, one of them made a dedicated effort to associate it with s*yboys and cuckolds, and it worked.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:30:27 2018 No.10758107 >>10758083 that story would make sense if this sauce weren't literally hipster tier shit that's brought up by every beard wearing faggot who thinks he likes "spicy" foods. pathetic.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:31:23 2018 No.10758113 >>10758070 you're a fucking joke

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 18:31:35 2018 No.10758114 >>10758107 The truth is that it makes PDXfags mad.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 20:05:03 2018 No.10758498 >>10758053 >ATTN: Poo Sauce Shill You better have that dick-dog pic ready before you post!

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 20:09:05 2018 No.10758512 I got a bottle of it after seeing the memes on this fast food board. It's not trash but it is way overhyped. Barely any habanero in it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 20:19:47 2018 No.10758532 >>10758053 Can't you people at least meme a decent sauce?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 20:28:11 2018 No.10758566 >>10758070 I'm not sure. I think it's the best sauce to ever exist, very much unironically

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 20:37:12 2018 No.10758602 >>10758083 It worked in boosting their sales, don't think that was his goal

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 22:29:33 2018 No.10759143 >>10758602 Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch cu/ck/s waste their money on meme sauce and post about it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 22:39:29 2018 No.10759203 >>10758070 It’s an actual good sauce that gained a little traction here and of course got over hyped by the eternal repost fags who exist on every board. And 4chan in typical contrarion fashin is lashing back because it’s now seen as somewhat popular

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 23:24:12 2018 No.10759455 >>10758070 It's mostly a joke on the sauce since it's really not that hot quite vinegary and boasts "habanero heat"

>>	Anonymous Thu Jun 14 23:46:36 2018 No.10759554 >>10759455 It's actually like a really sweet spicy ketchup which is why I love it

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 00:25:22 2018 No.10759714 >>10758566 This

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 00:28:31 2018 No.10759733 >not buying hot sauce from your local farmer's market >not simply making your own notice how there isn't an f, o, or d in '/ck/'

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 00:29:58 2018 No.10759740 I wanna know where you live that you can get Melinda's at the grocery store. I have to order it online.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 00:38:45 2018 No.10759784 >>10758070 It’s objectively the best hot sauce for cuckolds

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 00:42:58 2018 No.10759796 File: 56 KB, 440x597, 23A31AAC-800E-4D6D-9275-4EF6BE213F03.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Name your sauce with double A. Then Google.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 00:44:29 2018 No.10759802 >>10759784 My wife’s bull threw out my supply because he said it tasted nasty. Now I’m saving up good husbando points for a sixer of IPAs.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:03:12 2018 No.10759883 File: 117 KB, 501x964, matoukflambeau.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10758532 Why yes, I absolutely can! For ME, it is Matouk's West Indian Flambeau Sauce, the very best hot sauce.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:03:19 2018 No.10759884 >>10759740 It's in a lot of grocery stores in the Southeastern United States

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:09:08 2018 No.10759912
File: 162 KB, 970x809, Flyer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10759733
>why don't you just make your own?
This is one of the most common criticisms of 'vark sauce and quite frankly it's patently unfounded.

Why don't I just make my own?
Because Secret Aardvark Trading Company only use locally sourced ingredients, and to be entirely honest that's the way Scott would have wanted it to be.

The crux of this issue is that the water in Portland has a very, very unique chemical composition. This is largely due to the abnormally high amounts of estrogen added to their water treatment systems, both purposefully added by the city and inadvertently added through the waste water treatment systems' lack of complete distillation and filtration. To put this into perspective Progesterone and other antiandrogen pharmaceuticals are the best selling drugs on the market in Portland. Over 70% of Portland's population, both male, female and other, ingest and secrete these chemicals into the water supply leading to the iconic flavor profile of all Secret Aardvark Trading Company's hot sauces.

This effects the taste of all food in Portland, and that's a good thing, but it also makes Secret Aardvark Habanero Sauce virtually impossible to replicate outside of Portland. One cannot in fact "just make their own".

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:14:28 2018 No.10759927 File: 1.13 MB, 3264x1836, 'touk's.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10759883 And here it is in action to show that I actually use it! It turns even the blandest of chicken breasts into a culinary adventure!

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:18:56 2018 No.10759945 >>10759884 Well fuck me, I'm in Memphis and I've never seen it anywhere.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:22:57 2018 No.10759969 >>10759927 That looks like a meme sauce

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:25:58 2018 No.10759987 File: 1.42 MB, 2813x1931, Sanity check.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >want to shill a hot sauce I really like >but I wouldn't make any money shilling it Guess you'll never know.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:28:50 2018 No.10760003 >>10759912 Why did you type this?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:29:14 2018 No.10760004 >>10759927 Don't pretend you didn't see >>10758498. Where's that pic of your dick in a hotdog bun, covered in your "meme" sauce? And yes you can go as poorfag as you need with the bun.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:32:19 2018 No.10760015 >>10759945 That’s because Memphis is entirely black.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 01:35:04 2018 No.10760033 >>10759927 I just noticed you cut that bite of chicken off before you slathered it with sauce. So you haven't even eaten it as far as you've shown.

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 02:10:00 2018 No.10760150
File: 210 KB, 3264x1836, joocyy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10760004
I already told you it's not Indian in the poo-in-loo sense, it's "WEST INDIAN," in the Columbian sense. It's Caribbean.
>>10760015
Yeah you got a problem with blacks, white boy?
>>10760033
What now, bich?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 02:14:01 2018 No.10760161 >>10760150 It's still no dick dog.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 02:14:58 2018 No.10760166 >>10760161 Listen...there's every chance in the world I was drunk when I promised you that. I'm afraid it's not gonna happen. Too many people around here might recognize my dick.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 02:19:37 2018 No.10760178 File: 39 KB, 315x287, Ugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10760166

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 02:24:52 2018 No.10760192 File: 551 KB, 762x706, 1511316236320.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10759912

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 02:59:37 2018 No.10760312 >>10758107 Is that as pathetic as you getting pissy over fucking hot sauce? And is there a decent hot sauce that isn't vinegar based you can say is actually good? Every fucking hot sauce I find besides the "hipster" shit is either awful or novelty

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:10:03 2018 No.10760333 had a bottle of vark once was meh, ill take yucateco or valentina over it any day

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:22:56 2018 No.10760372 >>10758053 > Wh*te b#i hands Oh god, no.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:27:52 2018 No.10760387 >>10758083 >>10758083 You do realize that you can say soy on /ck/ right? Surely someone so steeped in knowledge and tradition would know that soy is allowed here. Or, in the end were the real soyboys the faggots we laughed at along the way?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:31:33 2018 No.10760402 Cholula Tabasco Tapatio Valentia Siracha Frank's Crystal Got some 'vark coming in the m'ail tho

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:33:05 2018 No.10760407 >>10760402 Great, you're gonna become a 'vark shill just because every other sauce you've ever tasted in your sad pathetic life is even shittier.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:36:17 2018 No.10760427 >>10760407 Don't h'8 m8

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:43:40 2018 No.10760454 >>10759912 >bi-sexual corn

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 03:47:23 2018 No.10760467 >>10758053 Vark sauce, yellowbird Serrano condiment, and dirty dicks. All I need in my life!

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:23:32 2018 No.10760712 >>10760402 Valentina fucking sucks. I have no idea why Mexicans prefer that garbage.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:27:55 2018 No.10760728 >>10760150 Yes, negroids are lazy and have a pechant for criminal activities, such as thievery and crack smoking. They don’t make good neighbors.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:36:44 2018 No.10760753 >>10760712 Because Mexicans fucking suck.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:47:42 2018 No.10760804 >>10760728 Can't rebut that, but I'm still gonna fuck your sister bro sorry.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:51:48 2018 No.10760813 >>10760804 that's okay my homie brother man, don't be sorry.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:53:03 2018 No.10760817 >>10760804 >gonna fuck your sister Some other black guy already beat you to it. You guys love fat Mexican women.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 05:54:10 2018 No.10760820 >>10760817 >fat mexican woman >fucking only one black guy lol

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 06:09:26 2018 No.10760844 File: 17 KB, 320x180, blackspicyguy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10758053 It's only popular because of Hot Ones. Numales and basedboys love Hot Ones.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 09:31:54 2018 No.10761306 >>10760844 This. My ex-bf found out about it from Hot Ones and he literally would squirt it into his mouth directly from the bottle. It was soooo weird

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 09:45:48 2018 No.10761335 >>10758053 Its mainstream now that its in major stores so prepare to be called faggot for liking it and not talking about hot dick catfuck hot sawse.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 12:44:15 2018 No.10761961 >>10761335 It's not mainstream at all, don't even pretend that it is

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 12:52:03 2018 No.10761989 so is this a /cuck/ or /tard/ general?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 13:21:13 2018 No.10762125 >>10761989 Neither, it's a /vark/ thread

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:20:14 2018 No.10762391 >>10760454 IT'S MIXED RACE YOU SHITLORD

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:32:38 2018 No.10762456
File: 2.15 MB, 3648x2736, IMG_59401[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10761961
It's been a staple on restaurant tables for the past decade in the best food city in the country. If you aren't aware of it by now you're a fucking flyover with no reason to be on the food and cooking board.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:37:23 2018 No.10762475 >>10759987 i only buy this soap to read while on the shitter

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:41:53 2018 No.10762498 >>10762456 >best food city in the country. I didn't know Branson had 'vark sauce

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:50:29 2018 No.10762538 File: 1.22 MB, 631x875, Nikon_Image_06_15_2018_195.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Look what came in the mail today, /ck/. Courtesy of Secret Aardvark Trading Company for writing my letter of gratitude for 'vark.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:51:59 2018 No.10762545 File: 63 KB, 610x368, 1526653950919.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10762538

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:53:25 2018 No.10762551 File: 23 KB, 635x966, Tobasco 53.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10758053 I prefer the more refined and anged Tobasco pepper sauce.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 14:58:58 2018 No.10762568 >>10762551 Wtf I love Tobasco sauce

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 15:10:29 2018 No.10762604
File: 51 KB, 620x1086, onui7d-0405feaocrlsabroso03.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I remember this stuff tasted kind of weird but I liked it

Also I remember back in highschool I had a teachers aid who was an ex drummer for a punk rock band called hit the switch, and the owner of their label was also the creator of gringo bandito hot sauce. Towards the end of their run the recording studio was filled with boxes of the sauce.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 15:21:05 2018 No.10762641 >>10759733 >living in a southerly-enough locale where your local farmer's market sells hot sauce ISHYGDDT

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 15:23:46 2018 No.10762650 >>10762641 Why? Jealous of our superior agriculture, weather, and general way of living?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 15:25:23 2018 No.10762655 >>10762650 >jealous of our superior way of living Nah, all my cousins are butt ugly.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 15:26:51 2018 No.10762660 File: 129 KB, 464x348, 1527995184550.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10762604 Gringo Bandito is made by Dexter from The Offspring wtf are you talking about

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 15:29:36 2018 No.10762673

>>10762660
if you read his post carefully you'll notice he said the owner of his teacher's band's label, not a member of his teacher's band. said label owner could very well have been a member of the offspring, i dunno offhand if that dude has run any labels.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 21:24:30 2018 No.10764280 >>10762660 That's numale sauce

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 21:30:17 2018 No.10764316 >>10762604 Gringo Bandito is great on Tex-Mex kinda foods.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 21:47:45 2018 No.10764423 >>10762604 The Super Hot version of this, which isn't actually super hot at all, is fucking delicious. Would recommend.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 21:56:13 2018 No.10764460 File: 169 KB, 1024x777, Yucateco.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10758053 Blocks your path

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 22:20:50 2018 No.10764607

>>10760312
Honestly anon, I'm spoiled. There's this ridiculous taco shack near my apt and I just keep containers of their sauces in my fridge. I haven't tried a store bought hot sauce in years. I remember valentina being nice, but only for certain things like popcorn.

Anonymous Fri Jun 15 22:26:33 2018 No.10764631

>>10760712
That's because they only use valentina on shit like pork rinds, or in a bag of chips, or on popcorn. Gotta use tapatio for other stuff like eggs and mac n cheese, etc. There's no "one size fits all" hot sauce, gotta have multiple ones on hand.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 22:27:57 2018 No.10764637 >>10760820 This. Your sister's a fucking used up roastie slut, I'm sorry.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 22:30:42 2018 No.10764652 File: 34 KB, 500x677, LV7ybNc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10762498 Top kek

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 22:33:29 2018 No.10764667 >>10762568 I unironically enjoy the chipotle tobasco sauce, I don't find the vinegar taste as noticeable as the plain tobasco

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 23:38:35 2018 No.10764934 >>10764667 I ironically enjoy vark sauce

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 23:40:25 2018 No.10764941 >>10764637 >>>/r9k/

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 23:42:38 2018 No.10764949 >>10764934 At least you can admit it, famalam. Nothing wrong with guilty meme pleasures, unless it's bacon or nutella then you can fuck right off.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 23:52:09 2018 No.10764983 Good to see the person behind the meme threads is a fat fuck.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 23:53:48 2018 No.10764992 >>10764983 t. Manlet

>>	Anonymous Fri Jun 15 23:56:35 2018 No.10765007 File: 1.92 MB, 1280x720, Gamestop.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10764992 t.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 00:12:20 2018 No.10765072 >>10765007 Do you think he likes hot sauce?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 00:14:53 2018 No.10765080 >>10759987 God tier soap. Also organic.

Anonymous Sat Jun 16 00:50:55 2018 No.10765228
File: 56 KB, 200x500, HH238.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

lmao you are all niggroes, Dave's Ghost Pepper sauce is the best "hot" sauce. It's hot with an actual, non soy kick that lasts, but still has actual non-pain flavor and hints of stuff other than "hot sauce pain flavor". Pic fucking related

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 00:54:28 2018 No.10765241 >>10765228 Not ‘vark, opinion discarded

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 01:22:27 2018 No.10765348 >>10765228 >extract Dropped. Use the scorpion pepper sauce instead, it doesn't taste like chemicals because they don't pump it full of extract for memes.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 01:24:59 2018 No.10765356 >>10765348 Yeah, pepper extract tastes like burnt asshole. I like Melinda's Naga Jolokia cos it's got a real nice burn without extract, and it's tasty as hell. A lot cheaper than Dave's, too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 01:27:51 2018 No.10765361 >>10765356 Naga jolokia is based. They changed the recipe of the ghost pepper sauce though, main ingredient is now habaneros.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 08:58:34 2018 No.10766342 >>10759143 Trying to hard. 3.5/100

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 09:05:15 2018 No.10766361 >>10765348 I'm not paying $10 shipping when the sauce is already $7. at least they carry two varieties of Dave's within a mile of me

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 10:35:47 2018 No.10766554 >>10766361 Poorfag detected

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 10:38:52 2018 No.10766563 >>10760402 Tapatio doesn’t taste great and it makes everything taste the same. Maybe I ate it too much in college.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 10:40:18 2018 No.10766570 >>10766361 Dave's is sold everywhere around me, it's a trash hot sauce that's a gimmick so I've never bought the shit more than once.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 11:28:37 2018 No.10766682 Where can I grab this in the Netherlands? you fags have convinced me to try it

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 11:44:48 2018 No.10766720 >>10758070 I had it once out in Oregon and thought it was just a genuinely good hot sauce, I don't get the constant threads about it

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 11:58:17 2018 No.10766756 >>10758053 West coast hipster sauce for suckers

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 12:24:17 2018 No.10766816 >>10758070 >reddit hipster sauce no its portland hipster sauce

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 12:30:54 2018 No.10766832 >>10759912 >only use locally sourced ingredients like hipster cum

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 12:41:07 2018 No.10766862 >>10766816 Same thing.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 12:42:07 2018 No.10766868 >>10766720 Viral shilling

Anonymous Sat Jun 16 12:50:55 2018 No.10766902

>>10758053
>habanero
This is just slightly tangy sweet tomato sauce. It has no business calling itself a hot sauce.
Habanero is the 6th ingredient! 6th!

Ingredients:

Tomatoes(Tomatoes And Fire Roasted Tomatoes, Tomato Juice, Citric Acid, Calcium Chloride), White Wine Vinegar, Carrots, Water, Yellow Onion, Habanero Chili Pepper(Habanero Chili Peppers, Water, Salt, Citric Acid), Mustard(Distilled Vinegar, Water, Mustard Seed, Salt, Turmeric, Spices), Organic Cane Sugar, Salt, Modified Food Starch, Garlic, Sunflower Oil, Herbs And Spices

New name
Secret Faggot Sauce

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 12:51:56 2018 No.10766906 >>10758566 >>10759714 you have no taste

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 13:03:14 2018 No.10766946 >>10766906 Actually I have a really big sweet tooth, that's why I love 'vark sauce

>>	rob@secretaardvark.com Sat Jun 16 13:06:47 2018 No.10766954 >>10758053 Congratulations on being the lucky winner, OP!

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 13:16:10 2018 No.10766984 >>10758053 I'm not that much into hot sauces, got enough stuff to spice up my food, but all this aardvark memeing has made me very curious. Haven't seen it here yet, don't really want to order online, but I probably will sooner or later.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 13:21:06 2018 No.10767007 >>10759927 >>10760150 Hot sauce turns a piece of chicken breast into a culinary adventure huh? I assumed you were a nigger right there and looks like I was right.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 13:42:00 2018 No.10767095 >>10766682 Vgm moet je het bestellen monnnn

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 13:44:11 2018 No.10767097 >>10758053 It's always a fat hand.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 13:52:30 2018 No.10767133 >>10767097 Fat shaming is a form of hate speech.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 14:09:57 2018 No.10767189 >>10767133 Glaad to be of service

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 14:59:14 2018 No.10767393 >>10767007 What else would you use hot sauce on? Chicken breasts are boring as fuck without it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:03:12 2018 No.10767413 >>10767133 being fat is a form of self mutilation

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:04:42 2018 No.10767424 >>10759143 kek.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:05:42 2018 No.10767428 >>10758113 Less of a joke than u tho.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:08:05 2018 No.10767438 >>10762125 so /cuck/ then.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:09:07 2018 No.10767446 >>10765007 T H I C C

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:17:59 2018 No.10767491 >>10766862 >www.reddit.com/r/4chan/ bad news dude 4chan is reddit Everything is reddit KYS

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:19:00 2018 No.10767499 >>10767491 >I come from cancer so this is cancer too day of the rope when?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:38:43 2018 No.10767606 >>10767393 jizz

Anonymous Sat Jun 16 15:46:32 2018 No.10767648
File: 94 KB, 500x667, cheetos.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10758053
I've never seen this except for on image boards. Is it worth it. I'd have to get it on amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Aardvark-Habanero-Sauce-Net/dp/B00SXTB0AY?th=1

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 17:11:54 2018 No.10768021 >>10767491 Portland is a meme city.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 17:20:44 2018 No.10768062 >in hot sauce threads spam how good vark is >in vark threads spam how it's shit >don't even do that anymore just post this now And nobody can stop me. Ever.

Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:05:05 2018 No.10768271
File: 88 KB, 720x1280, photo_2018-05-24_15-45-28.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10767648
Don't bother it's not even close to being worth the price.

If it was like $2-3 a bottle I'd be all over it. But $8 for like 8 fl. oz? Fuck outta here.

Pic related, 'vark with a sauce that's actually worth the price.

Matouk's West Indian Flambeau Sauce is, for me, the very best hot sauce.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:13:56 2018 No.10768318 >>10766682 Koop sriracha, is beter dan deze troep

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:15:39 2018 No.10768329 I've never actually seen Aardvark irl desu

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:20:25 2018 No.10768356 File: 336 KB, 1920x1080, coq_au_vin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10768271 k wont bother, thx brutha

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:23:32 2018 No.10768362 >>10762456 portland is flyover territory sorry bub

Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:30:00 2018 No.10768391

>>10758070
Its just not a very good sauce.
Well thats not entirely accurate.
Its not a very good hot sauce.
Its more of a sugary chuntney-like sauce with a blend of spices that makes it taste "good" on its own but those very same spices often clash with or contrast poorly against nearly everything that already has its own flavor. The point of hot sauce is that it adds varying degrees of salt, acid and heat to dishes that need a little boost but are otherwise fine. Hot sauce isnt supposed to have a dominant flavor profile. Secret Aardvard has a very distinct flavor which is fine as a sauce that happens to be a little spicy but it is not a good characterstic of a "hot sauce". Aardvard makes everything taste sweet and "aardvarky" with a hint of heat.

Good on chicken nuggets and tendies...which is the only reason its popular with the autists.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:34:40 2018 No.10768421 >>10768391 Damn I think you nailed it. Shitty frozen chicken items seem to be the only thing it's good on that I've found. For literally everything else, I already have a hot sauce in my stable that would be better suited than 'vark.

Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:36:11 2018 No.10768429

>>10768271
What most people dont realize is that the most expensive ingredient in hot sauce is actually the packaging...glass bottle, stopper, cap, seal and descent label.

Aardvard has taken a shortcut using the cheapest plastic bottles available, a crappy home-made label, and then charging three times the going rate for comparable sauce.

Aardvark is garbage.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 18:50:26 2018 No.10768499 >>10768429 Dude nevermind that, the main ingredients in 'vark are tomatoes, tomato juice, vinegar, and onions. It barely even has any peppers in it. It shouldn't cost a dime more than $2, and it's probably too high even at that price.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 19:03:09 2018 No.10768554 >>10768391 So basically what you're saying is it's hot sauce for wh*toids? Glad I never tried it, thx.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 19:23:17 2018 No.10768654 >>10768554 No, that's not what he said at all.

>>	Nicholas Parry Sat Jun 16 20:00:00 2018 No.10768846 >>10768554 Our wife's bull hates 'vark sauce so much that he flushed all of mine down the toilet for not having him and my wife Sarah's breakfasts ready soon enough.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jun 16 21:12:54 2018 No.10769220 File: 18 KB, 400x377, 1454316332950.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10765007 dat ass

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 01:26:08 2018 No.10770258 >>10768271 I saw a bottle of that at the store yesterday, but then I remembered that you never delivered on the dick dog. I figure if it wasn't good enough to slather on a cock, then it wasn't good enough for me.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 01:31:06 2018 No.10770269 >>10770258 YOU WILL BUY IT

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 01:36:58 2018 No.10770282 >>10768846 Fuck off with your inside joke. Post hidden, faggot.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 01:37:31 2018 No.10770285 >using shitty as fuck vinegar based hot sauces >not fermenting your own hot sauce fucking soyboys lmao

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 01:42:19 2018 No.10770295 File: 220 KB, 900x1122, Curious.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10770269 I'm waiting.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 02:13:30 2018 No.10770377 >>10770295 You have to at least take me on a date first.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 03:20:21 2018 No.10770579 >>10761306 Fag

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 05:15:36 2018 No.10770964 >>10767095 >Vgm moet je het bestellen monnnn got a link?

>>	Nicholas Parry Sun Jun 17 05:57:18 2018 No.10771044 >>10770285 If 'vark sauce is for soyboys than consider me a proud soyboy.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 08:01:49 2018 No.10771326 >>10770579 I'm a girl

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 11:25:29 2018 No.10771940 >>10765007 absolute unit

>>	rob@secretaardvark.com Sun Jun 17 13:15:11 2018 No.10772364 >>10766984 You can get it on secretaardvark.com

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 13:23:06 2018 No.10772396 >>10772364 GUYS ITS A SHILL THREAD! THEY GOT US GOYIMS

>>	rob@secretaardvark.com Sun Jun 17 13:30:49 2018 No.10772427 >>10772396 If this were a McChicken thread you dumb niggers would be circlejerking your microdicks about how it's the best fucking thing since sliced bread. Shut the fuck up.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 13:33:55 2018 No.10772441 >>10758053 reported

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 14:03:53 2018 No.10772545 File: 103 KB, 800x598, Hes- right- you- know-meme-9gag-knowyourmeme-20.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10772427

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 14:58:32 2018 No.10772727 >>10771326 That's so fucking gay.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 16:15:03 2018 No.10773085 >>10772727 Incel

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 19:53:23 2018 No.10774066 >>10758070 It's basically mild spicy ketchup that's actually good

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 19:58:51 2018 No.10774088 >>10759927 white bois would probably die if they ate this, people in the west indies are just used to that level of spicyness. Scorpion pepper sauce is legit terrifying as well.

>>	Nicholas Parry Sun Jun 17 20:39:44 2018 No.10774250 >>10774088 I'm a white boi so I'll stick to 'vark sauce. Our wife Sarah's bull loves real hot sauce like Tobasco and Matouk's.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:42:17 2018 No.10774262 >>10762456 t. hipster faggot

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:43:18 2018 No.10774269 >>10774088 what? if you think this is spicy you're a fucking pussy bro see >>10766902 white as fuck here

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:43:48 2018 No.10774271 >>10774262 t. butthurt obsessed flyover who's only solace in life is probably that trump hasn't been impeached yet

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:45:47 2018 No.10774281 >>10758070 It's spicy Chef Boy-ar-dee tomato sauce, like the tomato sauce in the ravioli, chili mac etc but spicy.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:47:04 2018 No.10774288 >>10773085 no you

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:47:14 2018 No.10774290 File: 1.13 MB, 1300x1040, 1528926812158.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10762475 You might have actually convinced me to buy some.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:47:48 2018 No.10774295 >>10774271 sorry, i'm not an amerifag and I don't care about your shitty country. you're clearly a westcoast hipster faggot who probably sucks off mexicans in gay bars because their jizz is 'exotic and spicy'

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:53:40 2018 No.10774326 >>10774295 >west coast >mexicans You realize that you'd have to travel further than from the southern most tip of Italy to Vienna to get from Mexico to Portland, right?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 20:57:14 2018 No.10774346 >>10774326 have you ever been to California? sometimes its hard to tell because they're the workers in the kitchen and picking up garbage, but mexicans are everywhere

Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:00:37 2018 No.10774363

>>10774346
>portland is in california

I currently live in California, and work in a kitchen. We're all white other than the dishwasher, and she's one of our best employees. There's honestly more Indians and East Asians than Mexicans where I am; have you ever been to California?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:01:54 2018 No.10774369 >>10774326 So you don't deny that you're a westcoast hipster faggot who sucks off people in gay bars, just the ethnicity of the people you suck off?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:02:56 2018 No.10774374 >>10774363 Your a white bus boi

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:03:16 2018 No.10774378 >>10774363 >portland is the entire west cost of north america fuck you're dumb

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:04:25 2018 No.10774385 >>10774363 oh wow 1 restaurant doesn't have mexicans? well there must not be any then you're real goodered at maths

>>	Nicholas Parry Sun Jun 17 21:04:40 2018 No.10774386 >>10774281 And that's why we love it so much

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:10:26 2018 No.10774420 >>10774385 I AM Mexican you fucking moron. Reread what I said. Stop huffing paint thinner, Cletus. And go back to english class

Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:15:16 2018 No.10774440

>>10774420
your post doesn't say you're a mexican

and all you did was prove to me that there are mexicans in your kitchen (or at least a mexican)

The real question is... by you failing to identify yourself as a mexican than getting angry about it prove that portland is the entire west coast?

you're dumb
its ok

you're in america now..... surrounded by your kind.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:16:10 2018 No.10774443 >>10774378 >repeats my exact point as some kind of an attempt at a rebuttal No, you're dumb.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:20:46 2018 No.10774466 >>10774443 ah right good point fuck I should have paid more attention in geography class when they taught the west coast goes Canada - Portland - Mexico

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:25:23 2018 No.10774489 >>10774466 Re-read the thread. You're either drunk or fucking retarded.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:27:42 2018 No.10774498 >>10774489 I did, and you don't make any of the points you claim faggot

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 21:59:47 2018 No.10774686 >>10774498 Not him, but you just lost the argument.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 22:09:03 2018 No.10774754 >>10760402 Soylentina belongs in the trash

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 22:46:01 2018 No.10774975 >>10759740 You can get Melinda's and 'vark at the co-op in Portland

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 23:30:00 2018 No.10775205 >>10772364 Thank you

>>	Anonymous Sun Jun 17 23:49:41 2018 No.10775289 >>10758053 Yeah but can we talk about Nando's instead?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 07:48:59 2018 No.10776382 >>10766902 t. virgin who brags about muh hot food

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 07:52:49 2018 No.10776391 >>10775289 Nandos hot sauce flavour is addicting

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 09:15:01 2018 No.10776535 >>10774363 >White people working the kitchen Sorry you're retarded.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 10:17:04 2018 No.10776666 >>10776382 I haven't been a virgin since I was 27

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 14:08:06 2018 No.10777341 >>10758512 It's habanero FLAVORED not a habanero hot sauce.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 15:06:09 2018 No.10777497 >>10768329 Its all over here in Portland, even gas stations, Walmart and vending machines have 'vark sauce.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 15:12:28 2018 No.10777523 >>10774271 >still so rectally ravaged about the election he brings up Trump randomly Lol. Get it together dude.

>>	Nicholas Parry Mon Jun 18 16:17:51 2018 No.10777816 >>10777523 Drumpf is the reason so many of the best restaurants have been closing lately. Waitstaff and cooks at restaurants like Applebees, BWW, and TGI Fridays can't earn a living wage so they die and nobody says a word.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 17:43:11 2018 No.10778216 >>10776382 t. virgin who brags about sugary hipster bullshit because it's all you got

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 17:58:21 2018 No.10778277 >>10778216 t. Non-virgin Chad that hates 'vark sauce because your to full of toxic testosterone levels.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 18:02:07 2018 No.10778291 >>10777816 >Rent free Holy shit does Trump randomly go through your mind when you masturbate too you just can't help yourself can you? Always thinking about him it's constant right, it just never stops.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 18:11:50 2018 No.10778330 >>10778277 well I am very masculine and get laid all the time vark sucks

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 20:19:26 2018 No.10778877 >>10758070 it's the next sriracha memesauce

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 20:20:10 2018 No.10778881 >>10758070 I saw his sauce being recommended here months ago, talked about normally and shit. Someone wanted to make it a meme and shitposted enough that it became one.

>>	rob@secretaardvark.com Mon Jun 18 20:32:57 2018 No.10778938 >>10778881 >>10778877 Samefag. It's not a memesauce you dumb nigger.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 21:09:34 2018 No.10779115 >>10778291 Not him, but he is right.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 21:56:04 2018 No.10779274 >>10759912 Man I cried laughing to this

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 22:14:36 2018 No.10779338 File: 17 KB, 211x300, chilipeppersauce.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Best hot sauce, coming through

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 22:22:39 2018 No.10779363 >>10779338 Way to spicy and sour from the vinegar. I like my sauces sweet, mild and tomatoe-y like ketchup

>>	Anonymous Mon Jun 18 22:28:34 2018 No.10779386 >>10779338 It's no 'vark sauce, that's for sure.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 00:12:09 2018 No.10779690 >>10758070 Imagine sriracha but with even less heat and more sugar, then localize it to portland so it has a retarded cult following.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 00:13:32 2018 No.10779695 >>10758053 >Secret Faggot Sauce each bottle comes with instructions on how to turn your vacu

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 00:14:33 2018 No.10779700 >>10779695 um into a blowjob machine that looks like and aardvark

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 02:32:44 2018 No.10780097 >>10776391 >pure lemon taste with barely a hint of any other flavor is addicting

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 10:36:30 2018 No.10781279 >>10779695 What do you mean?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 15:45:46 2018 No.10782534 >>10780097 That doesn't make Nandos sound appealing at all wtf

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 16:49:41 2018 No.10782805 >>10782534 It's better as a marinade than as an actual sauce

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 18:48:49 2018 No.10783333 >>10765007 you may not like it but this is what peak performance looks like

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 18:55:36 2018 No.10783364 File: 39 KB, 600x600, 1204144[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] unironically the best hot sauce ever

Anonymous Tue Jun 19 18:59:31 2018 No.10783388

>>10783364
I used to LOVE 'cha. I posted about it for years until I found Secret Aardvark Habanero sauce or 'vark sauce for short.
I tried my wife's bull's son's srira'cha last week and i'm so used to 'vark sauce that it had me in tears. Way, WAY to spicy and garlicky. Not enough sweetness for me either

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 19:46:24 2018 No.10783571 >>10783364 My son used to call this meme sauce

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 19:54:30 2018 No.10783602 >>10776391 It legitimately tastes like dirt.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 19:59:08 2018 No.10783623 >>10783602 Then stop putting 'do's sauce on dirt, retard.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 20:21:42 2018 No.10783706 >>10783364 This is unironically true

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:12:07 2018 No.10784121 >>10767438 No, /vark/. Just like how the soda threads are called /sip/ or sardine threads are called /deenz/.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:13:10 2018 No.10784126 >>10782534 It's really not. It's marketed as a hot sauce/dip, but this anon >>10782805 is correct.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:21:24 2018 No.10784159 >>10784126 What would you even marinate in it? Be honest

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:24:09 2018 No.10784171 >not buying your sauce at based winco

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:31:16 2018 No.10784199 >>10784159 Uh...chicken. What else?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:51:57 2018 No.10784286 >>10784199 Why not beef? Why not pork? Is it because it's not halal?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jun 19 22:55:24 2018 No.10784305 >>10784286 First of all beef is halal. Secondly I'm a "white" American. They sell Nando's sauces here too.

Anonymous Tue Jun 19 23:11:51 2018 No.10784384

>>10784305
First of all, I never ever sa8d beef wasn't halal. Secondly your ethnicity and nationality have little to nothing to do with the conversation at hand. I was simply asking about what to marinate in Nando's sauce that aligned with my orthodox muslim step-father's beliefs. Third of all, is chicken halal?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:05:20 2018 No.10784790 >>10760467 This!

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:15:17 2018 No.10784812 >>10784384 You were implying that I'm some kind of Paki Brit or something. You know damn well what you were doing, /pol/fag.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:20:24 2018 No.10784825 >>10784812 I take offence to your use of the word "paki" in a derogatory manner. I'll have you know that my step-father is from Pakistan you racist piece of shit

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:25:07 2018 No.10784838 File: 59 KB, 800x800, Bird Bread Lord.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Why does everybody Reddit space In this thread

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:27:18 2018 No.10784845 >>10784838 Find 1 of my posts with reddit spacing in it. Oh wait, you can't

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:28:14 2018 No.10784849 >>10783333 check'd good quads pal

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:28:20 2018 No.10784850 >>10759883 >>10759927 >>10759912 >>10762604 >>10784845

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:28:47 2018 No.10784852 File: 217 KB, 550x500, tt-hotsauce1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Does 'vark sauce taste at all like Torchy's Diablo sauce? I really love the flavor of the Diablo sauce but it is too spicy for my taste.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:43:22 2018 No.10784896 >>10784850 None of those are mine except the last one

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:46:11 2018 No.10784903 >>10784896 goddamn you're a FUCKING nigger

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:49:25 2018 No.10784911 >>10784852 'Vark sauce tastes like Heinz spicy ketchup mixed with kewpie mayonnaise and garlic.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 01:56:10 2018 No.10784926 File: 68 KB, 300x383, sadcunt.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10784903 Takes one to know one, willy licker

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 02:26:40 2018 No.10784995 >>10784903 OK I lied they were all me

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 06:25:55 2018 No.10785515 >>10784995 REEEEE

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 10:26:11 2018 No.10786045 >>10785515 No they aren't

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 10:38:36 2018 No.10786091 >>10786045 I keep awaking to your BULLSHIT

Anonymous Wed Jun 20 10:45:06 2018 No.10786119

>>10766902
Makes my fuckin eyes water when I eat it. I don't know why this is, everyone says how incredibly mild it is. I also agree that it mainly just tastes like a tomato sauce, but it's significantly spicy to me.
I've even had other habanero sauces that didn't do this to me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 13:33:29 2018 No.10786758 >>10786119 Its the spiciest ketchup on the market, but its also the mildest hot sauce on earth objectively speaking.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jun 20 16:42:21 2018 No.10787582 >>10759802 My wifes bull threw out my sixer of IPAs because he said it tasted nasty. Now I'm saving up good husbando points for a bottle of 'vark sauce.

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking