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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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10755803 No.10755803 [Reply] [Original]

what‘s out verdict on drm food?

>> No.10755845

>>10755803
That company went under, the guy running it basically pulled a producers. Turns out nobody wants a $600 juicer that (only) makes $15 glasses of juice by opening a bag thats full of juice and pulp.

>> No.10755901

>>10755845
Yeah, what was the fucking point?

>> No.10755959

>>10755901
You can shuffle the numbers around and make it look like you lost all of your money in a failure of a product despite having kept like $200,000 in startup money.

>> No.10755965

>>10755959
I mean how did anyone invest in such a pointless thing?

>> No.10755973

>>10755965
Smart tech and SmartHome™ shit is super hot right now, basically all he had to say was "Smart Juicer" and money was falling from the sky. If you think hitting a button on your phone to have juice made isnt worth a $600 pricetag plus $400 a month then you arent the target audience

>> No.10755976

>>10755973
It's unbelievable, really. Have you seen that Smalt thing? Fucking smart salt shaker.

>> No.10756005

>>10755976
I build dumb shit like that, its totally believeable. My day job made me too practical though so I cant imagine something that basic. You wouldnt believe what these silicon valley types are willing to pay hundreds for, juicero was actually scraping the bottom of what they are willing to buy for the cool factor of controlling shit in your shoebox from your phone

>> No.10756105

According to reddit, DRM is bad when it’s juice but “SCIENCE PICKLE RICK lol chemophobes antivax antivax why do u hate poor africans” when it’s terminator genes in the food supply

>> No.10756127

>>10755803
It's for dumb people with too much money.

Another shitty "smart" cooking appliance is the $400 DRM minioven called "Tovala" that uses steam to cook $12-per-person meals. All the promotional material makes the meals look like something you'd eat in an airplane (economy class).

Imagine having a family of four and paying $300+ every week because you're too lazy to buy ingredients and prepare meals for yourself.

>> No.10756216

>>10756127
those are for offices though, much like keurigs and the like

>> No.10756233

>>10756216
Are you talking about reheating meals or cooking them? Because I doubt anyone would cook a dinner meal in their workplace.

>> No.10756255

>>10755803
If there's a cold comfort for rational people with regards to that thing it's that given the internals of it there's no way they made money on each unit. They probably expected to make money off the bags but I'm guessing they barely broke even if that.

>> No.10757664
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10757664

Whole thing sounded like a money laundering scheme from the start. Who could be behind this?

>> No.10757675

I prefer that weird tortilla maker that's twice the size of a toaster oven and uses those expensive pods.

>> No.10757677
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10757677

>>10755845
good thing there's a better version that doesn't have drm :)

>> No.10757708

>>10757675
There is a similar thing called the Rotimatic for making roti. I think it costs at least $1k

>> No.10757725

My favorite part of the sad short life of the Juicero was when the Verge opened one up and it turned out all it did was just puncture the bag and apply pressure to squeeze it out

The crazy expensive machine was literally not at all necessary, the juice packs served their purpose all on their own

>> No.10757775
File: 234 KB, 750x422, flatev01.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10757775

>>10757675
>wake up
>make delicious TOORTEEJA
>salt it with Smalt
>wash it down with a fresh glass of juicro
>get in my Tesla
>it drives me down to my silicon valley office
>spend the rest of the day managing the company's social media account

>> No.10757779

>>10757775
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>> No.10757972

>>10755803
>>10755976
Cr1tikal has done videos on all these shitty smart home devices.

>> No.10758275

>>10755803
You can literally squeeze those packets into a glass with your hands.

>> No.10758403
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10758403

These are nice. Mom had one.

But ugh, wheatgrass. I dont want to drink a glass of chlorophyll. Put apples and carrots in there instead.

>> No.10758495

>>10757972
That's exactly where I first saw Smalt. Watched that vid again today lol.

>> No.10758501

>>10757775
>flatev
How are you meant to pronounce that?

>> No.10759081

>>10755845
>That company went under, the guy running it basically pulled a producers

Nah he's back now, selling dirty pond water as a health drink.

>> No.10759417

For all the flack gets, I actually kinda understand the market where this would be useful.
I can kinda see it being used in a really fast paced food service setting where things are being served quickly, like a sports stadium

>> No.10760143

>>10757972
Literally who?

>> No.10760188

>>10755803
>what‘s out verdict on drm food?

Fine for old/elderly people or medical staff. If they have marketed it more to that group this could have had an option

>> No.10760204
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10760204

Its no Juice Loosener

>> No.10760356

>>10758501
TOORRRRRRRRRRRTEEEJA

>> No.10760457

>>10760143
The kids these days get all their opinions from youtube.

>> No.10760727

Smalt and Juicero are perfect examples of some of the worst Internet of Things products ever created. Stagg EKG+ and Washboard are other good ones.

>> No.10761237

>>10759081
>Nah he's back now, selling dirty pond water as a health drink.
this guy is basically an industrial sized washing machine
>Yeah I gave the venture uh... $1.2 million
>Yes sir Mr IRS he invested $1.2 million alright our books are all matching up
>*Bottles pond water* yes sir we certainly have used all $1.2 *DRM Juices* million dollars and plan on *smalts* recouping costs with our genius ideas
>

>> No.10761570

>>10757972
Fuck that antifa loving faggot manlet. Disregard males that short.

>> No.10761749

>>10755803
The guy who made this thing is a wacko and is now peddling raw, untreated water. He did an interview with Vice and seemed extremely aggressive and defensive throughout.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI-Ye8SP708

>> No.10761767

>>10757972
So I just googled this guy and watched the video. There’s a ton of potential in a funny guy criticizing shitty kike funding products, but this guy isn’t funny in the least.

>> No.10762408

>>10761749
Earth juice!

>> No.10762432

>>10761767
>what did they get wrong
>EVERYTHING
>so what
>EVERYTHING
>but what
>OMG STOP ASKING

>> No.10762459
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10762459

The guy who made it bragged about how it squeezes the packets like a hydraulic press or something and people squeezed the packets with their hands and made just as much juice. He said not to squeeze the packwets because "it takes away from the experience"

>> No.10762474

>>10755973
It’s not that it’s smart, it’s that it is cold pressed and requires no cleaning. I don’t think the smart aspect is actually appealing to consumers, just the idiot proofing

>> No.10762495

>>10756105
reddit loves big pharma lots of paid shills there too that mindfucked the stupid faggots

>> No.10762515

am i missing the function this serves?
does it not just squeeze the juice packets out?

what's the point of this?
i refuse to believe there's anyone dumb enough to buy this

>> No.10762531

>>10760204
Can I get a goose loosener?

>> No.10762542

>>10755803
wasnt there a toaster oven that was sold as a magic food maker where you buy already made frozen food and put it innside and your dinner magically appears?

>> No.10762548

>>10757775
you forgot
>with my furry twitter account

>> No.10762565
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10762565

>>10757775
>tortilla maker the size of my desktop
>uses refrigerated pods to make 6 inch tortillas that look like ass
>all for only 437+USD
>not including the price of pods

>> No.10762574

>>10761749
he is full of crap
>there are plenty of companies that want me in the boards of thirectors
>but im still unemployed

>> No.10763123

>>10755803
I really wanna buy one so I can repurpose it as a display piece in my living room.

>> No.10763206

I use the Beetocian. It produces the juice of not less than 2 but not more than 3.67 beets in its beet cauldron.

With regards to Beets, I'm all set.

>> No.10763322
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10763322

>>10758403
>But ugh

>> No.10763398

>>10763322
>larry-boy
based

>> No.10763433

>>10762515
Silicon Valley is in an absolute frenzy right now for "internet of things" devices
This juice press connected to wi-fi and scanned the fruit packets for """freshness""" so dumb investors nusted a but

>> No.10763583

>>10763433
I seriously hope that the Norks, Chinks, or Ruskies drop a couple nukes on California and turn the whole state to glass.
This shit is retarded and needs to stop.

>> No.10763619
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10763619

>>10763583

>> No.10763640
File: 92 KB, 1000x667, SMALT_onPatio_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10763640

>>10763619
Just pinch your smartphone for a pinch of salt.
https://youtu.be/o2e1x5IaO7k

>> No.10763680

>>10756105
You do know that no GMO crop with "terminator" genes was ever actually sold , right?

>> No.10763857

>>10763640
Holy shit that bitch in the picture. I have seen shorter teeth on horses.

>> No.10763897

>>10757775
dear god trump needs to deport her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stTzLmoStsU

>> No.10763914

>>10763897
I wonder how many takes that took
>I need moar contrast between the valley girl accent and the comical NPR spanish
Also lol'd at 1:38

>> No.10763929

>>10763857
Haha could you imagine those teeth biting down hard on your balls haha

>> No.10763959
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10763959

>>10763897
>tourehlhatillllhas