/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>9917446

I get more depressed as the days go by. Not sure how I will manage taking 6 classes+research in uni this term.

ONE WEEK SOBER

For those who have quit, how what was your B12 dose?

I'd recommend everyone ITT gets a motorbike.

You have no "muh danger" excuse. If you have a regular job, buy a Yamaha r3 and ride it to hell

Second last day of beer taper.

>>9917468
I take 300mg of B1, an a-z and a B complex. Costs fuck all...
https://ebay.co.uk/itm/Vitamin-B1-100mg-Thiamin-Thiamine-100-1000-Tablets-mosquito-energy-/291495312962
https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/285513527
https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/268137042

What year were you born, Al/ck/?

>1991

>>9917513
1979

>>9917513
1989 been drinking for a good 10 or 11 years. Currently going cold turkey.

>>9917513
1988

>>9917465
good job anone

>>9917523
me too ethiope

the big 30 this year

>>9917530
Britlad? 30 on December 24th 2018

>>9917477
I too infrequent have a license.
I had something stupid like 14 motorbikes as a teen though, and had a CBR900 until 2016 when I was b& again for dui.

>>9917541
not british tbqhfemme. just remember your face from former threads

>>9917477
I never got a license because I was already a drunk before I became driving age.

>>9917578
I was so wrecked on Valium during my first driving test that I drove the wrong way down a one way street, then almost crashed into a roundabout

I have a weird drinking problem. I seem to have certain situations that make me get black out drunk. Basically I can't drink in bars/clubs otherwise I won't be able to control how much I drink. At home though, I can control it. I can drink like 8 beers and decide enough is enough and go to bed.

What do you guys think? Basically I'm not going to go out and drink, it causes a lit of problems for me and I think it's best I just avoid bars and clubs from now on. Pretty shit but it's probably for the best.

>>9917515
tell us about the good old days grandpa

>>9917605
social anxiety comes to mind

>>9917605
i was the same and now i drink alone and have no friends. would not recommend

>>9917513

95

>>9917605
I black out at 4 beers sometimes. Yet I can drink a fifth in a night and function well enough. Lose memory as if my mind is trying to save me from how slippery I get drunk.

I'll go through my chat logs the day after if I'm at home and I'll have had coherent conversations. I don't know why I lose memory. But every now and then I act possessed and scare the shit out of my friends. My blackouts don't really discriminate. I guess my mind just doesn't permit me to remember for some reason.

>>9917574
:3 what's your favorite band lad

>>9917578
What are the legal drinking and driving ages in your country?

>>9917605
Or go party and be designated driver. Don't drink, don't make a fool of yourself, can pick up girls without puking in their cleavage, and have an excuse. Even free non-alcoholic drinks in some places.

>>9917627
current93 desu

I bought 3 fifths on Friday & now they're all gone. I blacked out so hard and woke up like melted. My body is really drunk like super intense feels good.

I'm really just about to stop though my withdrawls suck

>>9917632
Drinking: 16
Driving: 18

craigslist gay sex guy here
still half cant believe i did it
want more tho

>>9917627
COIL

Probably also going to die of an unfortunate falling accident from an unremarkable height too.

>>9917640
go get em champ

>>9917627
do you guys consider yourself black?

>>9917633
>>9917642
Drinking problem - Midland

Not sure if I should try to stop drinking tomorrow, or after the NFL playoffs are over. I take a couple of months off each year to try to moderate my drinking after, and it always comes back because of a tragedy or just work.

It's just so hard to skip hitting the bar with your pals to watch football on the weekends, you know?

>>9917632
I can't trust myself to not drink. Also it looks pretty weird when you drink at home but as a rule don't drink in bars. The only reason I drank anyway was because sometimes I bring girls home.

>>9917622
That's pretty weird. Maybe you had an empty stomach or didn't have much sleep. If I drank four beers in less than an hour I think i might be blacked out. One time I blacked out and I managed to go back to a hot girl's house. I knew she was hot because I saw her in the morning. Thing is, I woke up scared as fuck because I didn't realise I wasn't at my home. Sometimes people are surprised when I tell them I was black out, other times they really aren't. Idk how it goes.

Finally managing to get some food down after projectile vomiting stomach bile into my bathroom sink. Christ that shit tastes terrible and recks your mouth.

>>9917696
what are you eating anon

>>9917677
You can say you're too cheap to drink at bars.

>>9917677
It's pretty hit and miss, might be food related, but the only good explanation I have is dissociative identity disorder, and alcohol makes it easier to access the other identities which I can't really get to unless I am not 'there' for the show.

I turn into a totally different person. Bold, magnanimous, I get girls into bed. Not like me.

>>9917714
Just some plain chips and crackers. I needed to get something in me fast.

>>9917656
Lol yes. I have all sorts of racial weirdness having grown up in Ellijay, Georgia; Beirut, Lebanon; and Manhattan but I have come at 29 years old to accept who I am. Admittedly it was tough

>>9917718
I've been told I can either be a bitch, I'm talkative or I'm just overly emotional.

>>9917719
solid choice

>>9917718
Or you're just more sensitive to black out. It may be a problem, it can fuck with your memory on the long term.
Take vitamins and zinc and stuff.

>>9917657
Wow that's such an incredibly gay band thanks anon

>>9917725
I'm told I'm more fun than regular me, that I am provocative, or that I act like the girl from the exorcist. It's a toss up!

>>9917726
>tfw I always feel better after eating on these days, yet it always takes me all day to convince myself to get up and do it

>>9917735
>>9917656
>>9917642
>>9917633
https://www.speakpipe.com/voice-recorder/msg/8ne7m6jsyog1aocl

>>9917718
Sounds like myself. I'm a lot more assertive/aggressive when I'm drunk. This helps me pull girls, but this also gets me into fights when I'm far too drunk to put up a fight.. flailing my arms round like a fucking retard lol. I couldn't show my face in a local town for a week because I got into a fight. More out of embarrassment than being afraid of seeing the guy again, if I'd even recognise him when I saw him. Part of the reason I'm quitting bars/clubs, one of these days I'm gonna pick a fight with the wrong guy.

>>9917715
I'm weak-willed. I vow to be teetotal one minute and the next I'm smoking, drinking and taking drugs

>>9917736
the worst thing i ever ate on an empty stomach was blue cheese and i fucking vomited for a solid 10 minutes

>>9917617
Same

>>9917766
That sounds fucking awful.

>liquor store closed on Sundays
>liquor stores apparently all required by law to close on New year's day

Horse shit. I had to drive across state lines because I didn't know about the new year's day law and wasn't prepared.

>>9917730
The thing is due to lifestyle I do go through periods of good food and supps, and it hits me right after that during a bender, and been that way since the start of my al/ck/ career as a teenager. You think it is suggestive of long term damage or susceptibility to long term damage? My memory has always been like a sieve, that's worrisome...

>>9917749
I don't remember it but I was walking around downtown with a couple guys about 1.5x my size and I rambled something like "motherfucker did someone order a pizza party" then I punched him in the eye and nothing came of it. Most times I just antagonize women, not even insult or abuse, I just say something I know will make them mad then double down until shitstorm.

>>9917735
What sorta music do you listen to then?

>>9917782
You've never celebrates New Years drunk before?

>>9917446
>tfw the bartender asks if "you're thirsty" after slamming back the first beer

just shut the fuck up and pour another. You're a bartender not a fucking priest.

This song is incredible

https://youtu.be/CxNxEn8gspE

>>9917809
i fucking love this song. 14 gears is another great one.

>>9917798
Kinda stick to dissonant stuff for the most part.
Also like some entry level hipster stuff like Tame Impala and Animal Collective, lame I know, but I enjoy it.

>>9917809
My coming out song, haha. Good taste (:

>alcohol interferes with medication
>withdrawals interfere with disease
>get fucking wasted New Years Eve
>need to nurse what very little liquor I have left
Fuck living rural.

is meditation a meme or what

>>9917633
Just gave current93 a listen...I'm at a loss for words...

>>9917830
You gotta be sober first. I did it when I was sober and it made a big difference.

>>9917839
what source did you use to learn it?

>>9917627
neutral milk hotel is the greatest band of all time. my gf is a graphic designer and for christmas she made me a stylized lyric drawing. I'm going to marry that girl.

>>9917830
Yeah. Being adept at ignoring negative thoughts is not the best way to go imo. It might seem nice but it's a double edged sword. You will never be individuated, your personality will be undeveloped.

>>9917830
No it's effective and helps one into life, but it accomplishes generally the opposite of booze so you kind of have to want to live to even go there imo

>>9917830
Mindfulness meditation is a real thing that helps with anxiety and stuff, but there are many charlatan.

>>9917840
I went to a shambhala buddhist center and learned from their free lessons.idk where you live but shambala is pretty cool.

>>9917513
2000 , new years day
legal to post now

>>9917830
>>9917839
Meditation is a great way of relaxing without the grogginess of napping, and staying somewhat aware while resting. Once you learn to let the world go, you can spend hours not staring at the wall, but into nothing. Even with color, movement, and sound the world can be more empty than you might ever imagine. But you can come back anytime you want.

It's great for sickness and tension.

>>9917857
teach me anon

>>9917857
Meditation is really just another drug. Sure it's great to be able to make yourself feel relaxed but where is the end point? Ignoring problems is dangerous in each of its forms. I'd advise people to man up and face what it is that is making them feel so bad. You will be better off for it.

>>9917857
emptiness took me a long while to understand, and even understanding it isn't actually knowledge of it. words only lead the way.

>>9917868
i don't think you did it right

>>9917868
You realize that meditation is synonymous with contemplation, or examination, right? It can be simply mulling over something, or nothing, or just focus. Even without the Eastern spiritual connotations it can easily just be focusing on one thing at a time.

fuck it i'm going back to AA.

it felt like home and i left it

>>9917859
Learn to sit in a comfortable position without fidgeting or feeling sore. Stretching beforehand is not only fine, but encouraged when you first start learning. Remove personal distractions like hunger, thirst, or needing to take a piss. Internal distractions can be harder to ignore than anything else. Sit on a pillow if a floor at first gives you pain.

Focus on a point on the wall. Ignore everything else. There is smell, there is sound, there is the feeling of the air around you, there is movement and color; they are irrelevant but you are somewhat aware of them.

After many months, do the same, but now that wall is insignificant. As are your pains, doubts, thoughts. For hours there is a void, and you will feel comfort when you return. It sounds like hippie bullshit but it works after you've slowly learned it other at least half a year. Don't jump to the last step and think you can be physically dis-attached while someone drives a drill-bit in your knee.

Tapering is getting easier finishing on day three.
I actually cleaned myself up ,shave n shower and everything and even ate a decent bit.
Only had 7-8 , 5.9% natural ice beers in the past 14 hours.
and even took two 30 min naps.
I look 10x better already.
Just went and bought an 18case of 4.3% beer.
In 3 days went from 25-30 beers to 15-20
and today I will finish off the last of day 3 (8 hours left) with hopefully just 3-4 more. to make a total of 10-12 beers

This taper was gonna be fast and exponential and it is working finally. Not too shabby.
And I should still have enough beer for 1.5 or hopefully more days.

I am thinking by tomorrow the blood pressure problems will finally lighten up.

Tapering works boys, as long as you aint trying to taper off with strong beer. You will get full off the beer before you ever catch a buzz and vomit long before you get drunk.

>>9917893
>I am thinking by tomorrow the blood pressure problems will finally lighten up
I've never really understood how to detect blood pressure problems without a doctors visit. There aren't physical symptoms are there? All I notice is a racing heart when I cut back, so I have a beer to lower my pulse.

>>9917888
>>9917876
Sorry, maybe I should be criticizing mindfulness; which is basically ignoring negative thoughts and emotions. I mean sure we all meditate in that regard, I do myself. That's how I keep myself amused when I'm doing something boring - I think deeply about my life, a band I like or a movie or whatever. Passes the time until I want to check what time it is.

>>9917843
>getting married

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>9917892
My favourite meditation is to picture a white screen, and every time I breathe in, sand blows in and covers the screen, and out, and the screen becomes clear again. It's a very un-obtrusive visualization, just substantial enough to retain attention, but minimalist enough to keep clear thoughts.

>>9917892
thanks for the tips dude. any books you would recommend?

>>9917897
>so I have a beer to lower my pulse.

i fucking hate this feeling. There's a definite point when you wake upand the booze wears off and you feel it in your heart. My blood pressure is total trash when i'm not drunk. It's actually better when i'm drinking.

>>9917892
also, i don't have a single wall in my house that doesn't have a pattern on it. is that okay?

>>9917900
eh hopefully i clean up soon. I love her and she's super into me. idk why. im a drunk fuck.

>>9917906
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80jGSadccmY

this man.

he was one of us too. He literally drove drunk into a joke shop and got paralyzed. Very good writer. His stuff on crazy wisdom is neat and inspiring.

New Year's was a bust, but that's to be expected.
Tonight's been alright so far; met my quota and don't plan to pass it.
Got a Birthday coming up, but I plan on hiking that day so no over indulging.
Eating right, drinking lots of water, and only trying to drink enough to keep the shakes off.

Had a bad experience in the car driving home from work today; shakes like hell. Hoping to get over them soon.

>>9917937
>two shots

>>9917914
Pick a spot. The spot doesn't matter. Eventually it it'll be there but you're not focusing on it.

No it shouldn't matter. You're trying to ignore outside influence, not mentally bore a hole.

>>9917942

Just enough to keep the DTs off brother. One before dinner, one before bed is what I'm planning.

>>9917950
not to be a dick, but at two shots a day wouldn't the DT's be well gone? that's normie drinking levels, not doubting where you were at of course, but why do them at that point.

>>9917897
Racing heart, chest visibly thumping, wounds arent clotting correctly. Nose just starts gushing blood at random.
The racing heart and pounding chest is distracting and it can get so bad that your vision distorts at the edges every heartbeat due to pressure behind your eyes.

Your body gets so used to the sedative effects of alcohol as a downer that eventually your body doesnt get too terribly sedated from it and even when hammered your heartrate and pulse is normal. THEN when you arent drinking it raises way higher than it should because it forgot that you arent under the effects of a sedative and continues to overcompensate raising your circulatory system to mach 5.
Compounded with the nervous/brain shock of not being sedated it is a recipe for CRAZY levels of panic.

Alcohol wd's are not a meme.
I hate that the other day, I got a call from a random friend I barely knew and he tried to stage a phonecall intervention talking about "just quit cold turkey , i did"
WELL nigga you only drank maybe a six-pack a night for a few months. This is totally different

>>9917919
It's the same with my boyfriend. He's super into me which makes me drinking feel horrible. I feel like a terrible person for putting him through that shit.

>>9917959
once you get in deep cold turkey isn't an option.

>>9917964
are you a femanon or gay? Tbh I really don't do anything bad. I drink like a fish but she very rarely has seen it. The worst she might get is some speech about how True Detective is the most real show in the past 10 years.

I gotta quit. Where do I start? I taper every weekend but it's getting worse and worse.

I woke up today and thought I was dying. I can't do this anymore.

>>9917957

Because it's all about the wean. Tapering off even at low levels is important. You see it all the time with opiates and benzos. Literally just enough that your body gets a fix, but not enough to do any real damage.

>>9917974
I'm female. I've been drinking like crazy for like 11 years and he's watched me go through a lot of bullshit with my drinking. I mean, that said I'm pretty tame compared to a lot of people here.

>tfw can't manage to stomach alcohol fast enough to get loaded
fug

>>9917986
Makes sense. I never drank liquor but the beer is gonna fuck me up.

>>9917988
how much do you drink? always curious how female alcs get into it. They seem to die a little slower.

>>9917997
i fucking hate this. Only happens after I get super drunk but it truly is the worst feeling.

>>9917965
yeah I fucked up last week and went for "fuck it is the holidays and I'll swap back to liquor" and then 5-10 beers a day changed into 8 liters of Gin in 7 days.
that was like the 23rd or 4 through dec-30th when i decided to start this taper.
I knew it was getting too wild when I went to open my cabinet and couldnt even figure out which handle still had booze in it or what was empty because they were so many fucking bottles in this tiny ass cabinet.

I realised that I got to get back of liquor or ill be at a liter a day and lose track of the next few months and then wake up one morning in a world of hurt.
I remember those wds and I do not want to go through them again.
But I feel pretty good. I may stay at 10 beers a day for a bit.
buy a 12pack , drink 10 and save 1 for in the middle of the night when I wake up to piss and save 1 before I ride to the store to get another 12pack.

>>9917997
literally me this morning.
trying to put down as much as I can but get fucking ill before that happens and then vomiting up 50% of what I just drank.

>>9918005
>how much do you drink?
Lately it'd been a mickey a day, but I've gotten as bad as drink 750ml a day. I've been hospitalized a lot. I've been at it cold turkey though, don't want this shit in my life any longer.

>>9917980
Go to a doctor and get a prescription for naltrexone. it helps a lot of people not crave alcohol. does nothing for boredom or sadness, but the physical urge to take alcohol goes away for many. i take it. the only times i relapse are when i just get bored and lonely, nowadays. before it was that PLUS physical cravings.

>mom hides my bottle
>i remind her that I'll never get married
>bottle reappears

>>9917480
How much and for how long have you tapered?

On a crack bender and just right fucked. Can't stop puking

>you will never look like this

Why live?

>>9918069
But I do,
How did you get this picture of me?

>>9918083
https://www.speakpipe.com/voice-recorder/msg/5288nqfxno95306m

>>9918093
>https://www.speakpipe.com/voice-recorder/msg/5288nqfxno95306m
Galveston?

>>9918113
GA not TX

>>9918069
Because if I work hard, dress well, and really luck out there is always that chance that someone like this will find my personality attractive. Granted that it's like playing the lottery, but still. A lot of lucky, but meh to unattractive people hooked up with Kirstianna Loken.

>>9918124
I hope you end up happy but I believe that the only thing attractive about personality is how it might make a man eligible for cuckoldry

>>9918123
pecan-eatin , pine-livin , peach-lovin hick!

This racing heartbeat when I'm hungover is making me nervous. It's definitely a sign that I'm going overboard, right?

>>9917513
83. Everyday is worse than the last.

>>9918124
My boyfriend isn't the most traditionally attractive male but I'm attracted to him. There is hope out there.

>>9918134
The cuck meme needs to die, but yeah a lot of women are taught since childhood to backtab their way to the top, or bottom if we're not speaking metaphorically.

It's a cultural issue when people spend the vast majority of their time pretending to be good to other people, until they can get away with something.

Not only will they lie to other people all the time, they lie to themselves as a source of comfort until they have power. Pretending to give a fuck about other people makes them think their fake altruism makes them right.

>>9918124
Women don't care about looks as much as men do. It's criminal how some men get women. Despite what r9k tells you women want different things in a guy, literally just being confident in yourself is all that matters.

I've never understood people who second guess themselves. It's like, 'so what'? It's better to back yourself to the very end rather than uming and ahing about whether you are shit or not. Idk I'm ranting a bit cos I'm tipsy but yeah

>>9918171
/snu-snu/

>>9918171
All women are like that. All women are like that. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT.

>>9917605
I'm similar. When drinking alone, I'll drink about 5 beers, enough to get a nice comfy buzz and a little drowsy before bed, but if I'm not eating while drinking and outside, I finish drinks way too fast. Some clubs even have a policy where you have to have a drink in your hand all the time and they come to check if it's empty.

I wish I could take my life back. In high school I told people that drinking is stupid and that I would never drink.

>>9918184
thanks anon i needed that. i have really low self-esteem right now. i've been drunk from sunrise to sunset since thanksgiving and my withdrawals today are agonizing.

>>9918232
get outta here r9k

My wife isnt like that, she proposed to me and puts up with me and wont so much as fake a tear much less even lie.
Some women really are god's gift to man.

>>9918184
This post gave me divorce

I had to put down my sweet innocent baby Mew yesterday morning. She was only 9 years old. It was very unexpected and devastating. If I wasn't such a piece of shit I would have noticed something serious was wrong and gotten her to a vet months ago. But instead I kept making excuses and told myself I would get my house cleaned up soon and that would fix her breathing issue. Well that never happened and now she's dead. Now I get to come home to an empty house full of little reminders of how sweet she was. Now no matter how sober I get, or how much I get my life on track, or how healthy I get my mind and body I will never get to see her again. It's too late. She left when I was at my lowest.

I "planned" on being sober for 2018 even before I rushed to the vet 3am Saturday night

I went to the store and bought a couple bottles of wine. Just one more night to catch a buzz, help forget, you know? Nothing wrong with that. Well I poured a big glass, smelled it, then I poured it all down the drain. God I wish I still had it. But I'm not living like this anymore

RIP Mew 7/30/08 - 12/31/2017

>>9918241
>Some clubs even have a policy where you have to have a drink in your hand all the time and they come to check if it's empty.
sounds like a good way to get sued when someone dies of alcohol poisoning

>>9918251
KEK
U
C
K

>>9918259
My condolences man,
She looks exactly like my cat. :/

>>9917899
That's not what mindfulness is. Mindfulness is detachment and not assigning any value, positive or negative, to things in an attempt to experience life with a clearer mind, rather distorting reality with preconceived notions. Meditation is a tool to practice mindfulness. You can be mindful of positive and negative emotion as well. You observe it and let it pass without trying to hold on to it or throw it away.

>>9918279

>>9918155
sounds more like withdrawals, based on my experience and others' experiences

https://youtu.be/1yjREqdJzsc

>burp
>small piece of food vomit enters mouth
>briefly consider spitting it out but then just say fuck it and swallow it back down

>>9918242
Glad I helped. Women have too much say in this society. So many men have such childish attitudes towards women. They'll accept anyone that'll show interest in them, and they berate themselves for why they aren't good enough for them (it's like, have you considered whether they are a good fit for you? The easier option is to take what you're given, but you should have learned about delayed gratification when you were a young boy). I see this a lot on 4chan, a lot of people on here just flat out refuse to 'parent' themselves properly. They'd rather run around and stay as children. That's my view anyway.

>>9918334
>>briefly consider spitting it out but then just say fuck it and swallow it back down

i literally just did this

>>9917633
Wow... That's fucking awful.

>>9918279
>>9918294
Try to take her to the vet anon, at least once a year. Even if she seems fine. I would give anything to have more time to say goodbye. I had exactly 2 hours 10 minutes from getting to the vet and her being dead in my hands. About 5 minutes of that I was actually with her. She just wanted to go back home. Sorry for bringing all the sadness to this thread but the alcoholic lifestyle cost me dearly

>>9917906
>thanks for the tips dude. any books you would recommend?
I had more of a hands on experience. For exercise and other healths' sake I recommend practicing the katas from something like isshin ryu, stretch beforehand. Shadowboxing is a great workout and way to dissolve yourself. You can meditate through action, eventually learning to move through instinct alone.

You don't have to be a proficient fighter as the goal here is not to fight, but to improve your body and mind. Put as much or as little effort into it as you see fit. Just keep in mind the level of scams in "karate" is similar to those of meditation, yoga, and hipster diets.

I'm finally starting to feel fucking normal. What a horrible day.

>>9917897
Mine gets really out of control near the end of a work day. Face turns red, feel hot, chest pounding, light headed, and short of breath.

>>9918368
I do every 1.5-2 years , already spent over $1,300 on her alone.
My your cat looks like mine a few pounds lighter.
I wish I had her pics back when she was thin.
Man I'mma go hug that cat now and give er a scratching.
:(

>>9918394
You guys are depressing the fuck out of me. My first pet was a black alley-cat we adopted. He was pitch-black except for each paw which was snow white, so we called him "Boots".

He died of feline leukemia, looking quite alive but acting like a person who's on death's door. We didn't know anything was wrong until we took him to the vet and his blood cell count was so fucking low he shouldn't have been alive, let alone conscious. My family had/has a ton of pets, I'll never have another.

>>9917513
>1981
Just got eight months sober today after fifteen fucking years of drinking

the fun is gone. it's just pain at this point. what the fuck.

>>9918259
That really, really fucking sucks. I'd be lost without my best drinking buddy Paul. This is him right meow.

>>9918449
cute kitty anon

>>9917782
You live in Arkansas or Utah man?

>>9918471
Connecticut doesn't sell booze on Sunday either. There's plenty of places that don't.

I get brown out drunk two times a week. When can I expect to die?

>>9918456
Thanks. He's pretty fucking great, broke all my preconceived notions of cats. Just wish I could bring him in the house, but after a trial run my dogs were having fucking none of that. But I've got a heater in the garage, and it gives me a good excuse to be out here. I've had to take some extreme measures to keep other strays out of here though, even body slammed one as hard as I could.

>>9918446
>used to wonder why people kill themselves
>get a little older
>understand life can be tough
>wonder why so MANY kill themselves
>understand that life can be REALLY tough

>>9918486
I've been at drinking until I black out every day for 14 years. It's not a quick way to die.

>>9918494
everyone my age that dies is from suicide

>>9917605
How the hell do you afford that?

Naive question, but is it really all or nothing for you people? You're completely incapable of moderation?

>>9918589
it's not so much that the first one inebriates as much as it throws the notion of moderation out the window. I don't get wasted after a few beers, but the first once cements the idea that i'm in for the long haul.

there is nothing worse than the feeling a buzz disappear.

>>9918589
I really am not a fan of a light buzz

>>9918589
for me its like opposite of what eating is like. start hungry, get satisfied the more you eat. with drinking alcohol its like start satisfied, get more hungry the more you eat.

one is too many, one hundred is not enough

anybody make it through today without drinking after a long december bender? i felt like shit this morning and i know i'm not going to be able to sleep tonight but damn it it's worth it

Went to hospital guys

>>9918788
I fucking hate IV's so goddamn much.

>>9918788
Eh, dont beat yourself up. Treating alcoholics is one of the easier parts of their job. I went three times in 2017 for alcohol withdrawal. Just try to not go so hard in the future. and learn to beer taper. and dont drink spirits.

>>9918788
who are you? what are they giving you?
i'm done with hospitals tbqh, last time i went of my own accord was because my testicle swole to 4x its normal size and i could barely walk, turns out i had a staph infection and i think nearly died. had to be restrained and placed under a psych form after i attempted to brain a cop with a fire extinguisher trying to escape them mind controlling me. then i pissed myself in my sleep.

36 hours cold turkey. No sleep in 30.

>>9918865
Its easier to taper with beer. But youve come that far so keep going strong, i suppose. As long as you have no health complications.

>>9918802
>>9918807
>>9918808
I’m in Texas I’m the guy who had gay Craigslist sex on the last day of my bender
Fucking Christ I think I’m getting admitted

>>9917617
>>9917773
My people

>>9917830
Try meditation radio on online stations, and get some incense, and try jacking off at least once or twice a week using your imagination instead of porn. That'll do something for you. Promise. And read Siddhartha. Get into stretching, like a novice, per-pre-precursor to yoga but just stretching, not actually anything yoga related...

>>9918808
Banana bag and just a teasing taste of Ativan, do want MORE ATIVAN

>>9918886
>Fucking Christ I think I’m getting admitted
hope they can cure your faggotry
otherwise why would you get admitted?

>>9918897
I hope so too mike pence is here in a white coat with some sort of Tesla energy device waiting for me

More ER moments for you cunts

>>9918912
>that cross above the door

>an entire thread of people LARPing as Frank Gallagher

>>9918888
check em' and consider an air purifier and (de)humidifier as well
and don't just do meditation to help yourself stop drinking, you should do it for deeper, broader, more meaningful reasons. you can stop drinking with enough verbal support, but to solve problems on your own? meditation should go deeper than scratching the surface of the real causes for your 'problems'.

after some time of meditation, you can calm your muscles and mind down to a fucking tee, so much that you'll think you can pass a fucking lie detector test, and just do it anywhere whenever you're feeling stressed or bored.
>tl;dr
Do not treat meditation as a tool. Tools can be bought and sold. Your true potential and self is not a commodity.

>>9918912
not a sick cunt till you inject memes into your veins via a PICC line
>>9918808
>>9918808

>>9918940
Plz edit a Pepe or Wojack in

>>9918946
I always get them to put it in my hand. It's really annoying trying to move or sleep otherwise.

>>9918946
not even sure where i'd put him
i got my pic cause the nurses kept forgetting about me and one time i said fuck it and flushed my line on my own just to show myself i could
had to use my mouth to hold a part while i unscrewed with my other hand since i was one hand down but still....

>>9918946
Anon, if we had the ability to produce dank memes on command with video and sound editing software we would be able to turn this place into the sickest club on the internet, but we don't. You're just gonna have to take one for the team.

My local detox never has any fucking beds available.

>>9918966

So my go to is honey whiskey and lemonade rockstar, any recs?

>>9917513
1963

>>9919041
When I started drinking you could get a six pack of bottles for $1.25

too cold for this shit. need to warm up with some ale.

>>9918988
HE ACTUALLY DID IT THE MADMAN
Get better soon you ding dong, and try an slow your drinking down

>tfw got kicked out of the NYE party I was attending because I was too drunk
absolutely fucking humilating

>>9919105
What did you end up doing?

>>9919120
got back home and went to sleep

>tfw showering after you start feeling better from withdrawals for the first time

>>9919105
I almost exclusively drink alone. I do have friends and I do go out sometimes, but I'll only have a couple of beers if any at all. When I get home by myself all bets are off, I will get smashed.

>>9919140
Man I love that feel. That first shave and shower after recovering from a binge is great.

>>9919147
You said it, friend. I feel so much better after that.

Anything wrong with drinking alone?

>>9919199
I drink alone exclusively

Nothing wrong with it

>>9919208
If someone asks if you drink alone do you tell them?

>>9919199
No, depending on how you are drinking.
There is legitimately nothing wrong with pouring a tall drink and getting /comfy/ in the evening.
or having a few beers after a long-ass workday.

But if you are getting absolutely fucked up alone that is not necessarily wrong, unless it becomes detrimental to your job , family, finances and responsibilities.
If you have those in check then by all means get fucked plum up anytime you damn well please if you trust yourself to do so.

>>9919212
No-one has to ask because they already know by looking at me.

>>9919212
I don't talk to people.

>>9919224
We are people though

>>9919214
>>9919220
Thanks fellas, I have a full time job and work many hours and don't want to always go out spending fuckton of money with friends. I'd rather just get drunk and play vidya alone after work anyways

>>9919226
True lol. I mean I keep to myself

>>9919228
What vidya you been playing?
My go to when drinking is rts games against bots.

Because I am buzzed enough to not care about 50% of the hotkeys and I don't give a flying fuck about the meta so I can finally just enough the game.

Empire Earth and Company of Heroes are fun when drunk.

>>9919236
enjoy the game*
plus matches last a good chunk of time 20min-2 hours so you get to have a bit of fun and kill time.
It's the perfect amount of time for a gaming session is 2 hours.
Long enough to have fun but not so much that it gets stale and you always want to come back and play more tomorrow.

I limit my vidya to 2 hours maximum per day. Although the past 14 days I have played less than 4 hours total because I was too busy with a couple gallons of gin.

>>9919236
I'll usually get super drunk and play SAMP (san andreas multiplayer).

>>9919236
I used to play Tribes Ascend and just ski around listening to music. These days I play S.T.A.L.K.E.R with mods.

>>9918786
I'm still tapering. Hoping tomorrow or the day after will be the last day for a while. I don't know if I'll return here when I'm sober...might stick around for support.

Anyone have experience with severe cramps when withdrawing? Woke up once and it felt like I was being put through a taffy puller.

>>9919247
I totally forgot about that existing.
Is it populated or /dedgame/?

>>9919250
Nice taste , Stalker is best enjoy with a buzz and total immersion.
That moment when you are just snooping around the zone when a creature darts around at the corner of your vision in the distance is the best.
>where the fuck did it go
>why do I hear gunshots
>panic

>>9919257
My entire body is stiff and sore when withdrawing.

Do any of you have a problem with buying alcohol the moment the store is legally allowed to sell it in the morning? In a few hours most people will be going to work but I am likely to be up and withdrawing, I am down to my last 3 beers. I don't go back to work yet and the Christmas season has fucked up my sleep schedule, this wouldn't normally be an issue for me but today it is and I feel weird doing this.

>>9919257
Never had cramps that were severe but it sounds like either
>need vitamins
>need water
>need to rest your muscles with sleep.

although none of those things are easy when ya are trying to stave of the worst of wd

>>9919265
Na I never really feel guilty because I slipped a few gas stations some extra cash a few times and now they let me buy beer at anytime of day as long as I am the only customer around to see it.

>>9919258
Samp is very populated server is a stable 250+ players. Join horizon roleplay

>>9919273
I don't have a computer that can run it smoothly
my laptop's charger is MIA
and this desktop is strictly a web-browsing machine

>>9919250

Drinking has become a daily habit for me, but isn't a problem yet. At what point am I too far gone? Currently drink at least 3 drinks every day at the bare minimum, usually upwards of 6 though

>>9919279
Exactly! That is the moment.

>>9919281
Do you feel like it is an issue?
What is leading you believe it could be one?
Numbers don't matter here, just how they are effecting your life.

is jack daniels the worst meme ever fucking created

>>9919265
I never feel guilty because, if it's early, I present myself as if I'm going to work. Semi-formal attire and neat presentation. It helps trick my brain to make me think I'm not a degenerate. When I get home it's straight back to wearing shorts and a wifebeater.

>>9919271
Gas station clerks here wont risk their jobs for that. There is a cab company that will deliver a bottle at any time, but that service is expensive and I prefer beer anyway. I would rather just wait til 9 and go to the gas station, but it is somewhat embarrassing.

>>9919273
Also I am not weird enough to play RP servers.

The only RP servers I play are on WarLight (risk online essentially) where we do war alternate history scenarios using risk

>>9919285
I feel like it's an issue because although it doesn't affect my ability to go to work or make rent every month, I feel compelled to drink daily. In my state, liquor stores are only open 9-9, and gas stations stop selling beer at 1 am. I worry if I don't have alcohol on hand after those times.
Also worried because alcoholism runs in the family

Post your go-to pack when drunk

>>9919290
It's very popular in Australia. Personally I think it tastes like methylated spirits strained through pencil shavings.

>>9919290
I live about 30 min away from the distillary
It is a cool place.
Also no . TN whiskey is not a meme
its a treat

>>9919297
dont daydrink then. If you start daydrinking increasingly heavily then you may start developing a problem.

I never noticed I had a problem until I was hanging out with friends and they all were disgusted that I would wake up make a 6oz vodka shot and drink up immediately.
It just never occured to me not too.
Now I still do it as a ritual but now its more like 20oz of liquor in my first 3-4 waking hours while I fuck around cooking breakfast and pretending other people are here to enjoy it

>>9919299
Used to smoke these when I could find them. Haven't smoked in a few years now. American Spirit (only had rollies) was also great - always gave me a headspin.

>>9919297
I was like that maybe 2-3 years ago. This month I can't make rent, I've had to apply for an extension for all of my bills, and I'm probably going to get fired soon.

>>9919294
I don't even rp, I just ear money by doing jobs to buy guns to DM

>>9919308
devious bastard
public enemy #1 over here.

>>9919306
Haven't hit the point of daydrinking yet, still just drinking heavily in the evenings. I did accidentally go to work still drunk the other day because I chugged a bunch of whiskey before bed, only slept for 3 hours and had to be up for work at 7.

>>9919314
Lol your fine then man as long as you are still holding down a job.

>>9919096
back from ER, finally got comfy as FUCK ativan script, this nightmare is over for now boys

Horrible sick feeling in my gut making me feel anxious as fuck.

>>9919318
jealous.
I am on 4% beer taper so ativan sounds like bliss right now.

>>9919321
Then just remove your guts and you won't have this problem, it's just common knowledge.

>>9919306
>>9919314
Also, all of my roommates have been commenting on how much I drink

My neighbour made me drink johnny walker with him. He asked how I liked it and I said 2 fingers of whisky with 1 finger of water. How bad did I fuck up?

>>9919324
it was goddamn worth the entire ER run-around experience, i hit a gold mine, hot nurses flirting with me, hot doctor with no beef about writing for benzos, got some IV ativan and fluids on the bed and then the script, fucking set. do recommend.
bye bye shakes bye bye terrors bye bye insomnia

>>9919314
>go to work still drunk
I'd say when that happens regularly you might need to reflect. It could get to a stage where you think a mild buzz isn't bad, but people will notice eventually. Just keep it to the afternoons and go heavy on Fri/Sat.

>>9919325
Then just remove your roommates then and you won't have this problem, it's just common knowledge.

>tfw in my country the state has a monopoly on alcohol over 5% and it's expensive as hell

>>9919333
Here alcohol is so cheap it is downright criminal.
40oz of 8% beer for $1.89
and
a Liter of 80proof for $8.99

>>9919299

>>9919330
I've been managing to do that so far, but I just finished college so now I have a ton of free time on evenings and weekends. Plus I'm still better than most of my coworkers hungover/buzzed anyways

>>9919333
Scandi?

>>9919347
Yes, Norway

Red Pagoda Hill - the patrician's cigs while in the far, exotic Orient

>>9919333
Nothing rustles my jimmies more than government alcohol monopolies (Canadian btw). It's prohibition-era thinking. The government shouldn't be involved in this, private sector can handle it just fine.

Would you?
5 liters of Whisky for 3 euros

>>9919362
forgot picture

>>9919363
Yikes

>>9919363
>blended and packaged in sierra leone

>"Just one more bottle."
It never is.

>>9919372
>>9919363
>>9919369
Expiration date ?!

>bought 2 steel reserve high gravity because no more gin
>7/11 cashier says, "dude haha it's 3:30 am"

>>9919388
Literal suffering

>>9919363
""premium quality""

>tfw three days off after working 10-12 hour shifts every night since Christmas Eve
Hopefully I die after I eventually pass out

>>9919395
I'll cross my fingers for you

>>9919395
I hope you don't die.

>>9919388
>buying booze at irregular hours
>the chinese store clerk always wishes me well
>but he always gives me this look
They know I'll be back.

3 day bender, can't hold down beers, end up vomiting 3 times a day, sweats start, shakes start, panic sets in

Pop 5 MG Ativan

anddddd it's gone

truly the holy water of life, benzos, for alkies

>>9919436
How the FUCK do i get benzos? Might just start doing heroin

>>9919419
it's arabs and ethiopians at my store. two or three are friendly, or at least polite. one is friendly-ish, but keeps mentioning how i don't look of drinking age, as if any man in his mid-20s needs such a reminder. one has stopped talking to me during transactions altogether; not necessarily out of disgust, but probably because i'm just another regular odd-hour drunk to him. then there's two older cunts who seem to have to pass judgment with every purchase and loudly mention whenever i come back for seconds.

>"you bought some of this earlier today, didn't you?"
>"yeah, man. one of those days, i guess"
>"... huh."

>>9919436
mail em here please
I'd prefer 10mg valiums or maybe 1mg klonopins but idk if I can trust myself to take klonopin and taper with beer at the same time.
I will end up gettin crunk and go steal fire extinguisers from behind a Catfish Campus again.

I tried to shove an entire set of dining tables into the back of my tiny ass car knowing good and damn well they wouldnt fit but then realised the store is open and people are going to notice me being out here.
Amphetamines , Benzos , and beer do not mix lightly

I suddenly became muthafucking secret agent man driving around trying to steal shit off the side of the road.

>>9919443
the easy way: find a doctor youll get along with and is fast and loose with the script pad
unfortunately thats also the hard way, sifting through the bad doc, trying not to get flagged as a drug seeker

>>9919451
I live in Africa so I might just go to Sri Lanka and bring back some a couple bottles of valium

>>9919445
>who seem to have to pass judgment with every purchase
That rustles my jimmies.

>>9919445
You from NoVa?

>>9919443
i've never gotten a recurring script from a doctor, but the longest script i've gotten was ~1 month long (counting tapering dosage) as i was weaning off of gabapentin. here's an unnecessarily long greentext of how it went down:

>go to psychiatrist for anxiety
>she knows of my medical history, which involved at that point at least one drug-related seizure
>basically implies she thinks i'm trying to get my hands on benzos as soon as i walk through the door
>great way to start doctor-patient relationship, bitch
>my drinking comes up, be relatively honest because it wasn't awful at this point
>she obviously won't prescribe benzos, but goes for 1200 mg gabapentin/day
>gabapentin is prescribed for anxiety and seizures, + off-label for alcohol dependence (it really does help with cravings)
>months later, realize gabapentin makes me feel stupid and my drinking has amped up if anything
>go to trusted, long-time GP
>through some carefully-timed drinking, i pass the vitals checks (this is important)
>tell him i want to quit gabapentin and why
>he has no knowledge of my seizure history or alcohol abuse
>smart enough to know of gabapentin w/d effects, so prescribes me a decent amount of klonopin and gives me a tapering routine

basically any doctor that knows or can tell you have a problem with drinking will not prescribe you benzos long-term. if you can conceal your drinking well enough, the reliable strategy is to go to a psychiatrist, play up your anxiety if need be, go through months of trying less effective medications (or pretending to), and finally getting a benzo script after they throw their hands in the air. it's a process, but the time will pass anyway.

>>9919477
nope, seattle. assholes are just ubiquitous.

>>9919502
I asked because you mentioned Ethiopians. I've got family that own liquor stores in VA and Denver but Seattle is also a mini colony of ours. My advice would be to say "salaam." They'll be very friendly after that

Out of beer, 2hr 51 min til I make the shameful trip to the gas station

>>9919511
Why not save the money instead and get hard drugs?

>>9919363
I don't know shit
what's the risk with something like that?

Wife loves me, mother-in-law hates me. I must be the first person in history to be in this situation.

Woke up and took vitamins, cod liver oil, and l-glutamine

Puked them up

Welp

talk more faggots

>>9919041
>I never got to see the 60’s

>>9919265
The shopkeeper where I used to live, lived in a flat above his shop. Because I spent like £30-£45 there every day and used to tip them insane amounts (e.g give them a £50 note for a £15 bottle and tell them to keep the change) they’d let me buy 24/7. I could text him at 3am, and not only would he wake up, but he’d deliver it to me, because their shop was like 40 feet from my bed. I was even toying with the idea of getting a drone to fly a preprogrammed path and fly it straight to my bed. I’d literally have only had to move, ever, in order to shit. I think they were aware of my alcoholism.
It’s probably for the best that I no longer live there.

Ffs man, has anyone successfully chemically castrated themselves? I’m so sick of being this ridiculously horny. While drinking I fap like twice a week, on heroin it’s more like once a month. After withdrawals it’s like seven times a fucking day. I’m way too much of a mess to find a girl right now. Life is so much less stressful when I don’t constantly need to tickle my pickle every time I see something resembling a tit. You can imagine my distress upon finding pupinia stewart’s nudes.

>>9919892
I had a liquor store essentially in my back yard too, next to a smoke shop. I left the house pretty much for those places only. And in the ghetto with bums and natives everywhere so I still felt like not a total shit going in there multiple times in a day.

All of my bedding smells like fucking sweat.

I turn 20 in like 6 days

Hahaha fucking how weirds that

>>9919910
Buy a vibrator and just use that

>>9919976
Not sure I have the prerequisite convexities

I know this is kinda off topic, but I'm drinking and it got me thinking.

Right so I started learning Korean about 3 years ago, have lived here for 1 year, I'm almost fluent I'd probs need another year or so....but fuck cunt..I'm almost losing my English ability. Like I run over my sentences, completely removing words that would not need to be there in Korean, fucking...bit problematic imo. Instead of saying "Appeared on tv" or anything coherent, I say shit like "Oh yeah he came out on that show", or in English if someone says "Anon!", you'd be like, WHAT?... But now I've started instinctively saying WHY? cuz thats how it works in moonmanorean...anyway. I fucking tend to think of a word in Korean and be like wait whats the word in English again?

Whats happening to my mind..any bilingual cunts ever feel this? I just feel like my ability to speak is being fucked all over

>>9920011
Idk man but I started learning Russian but I'd only do it with a glass of vodka to get in the spirit. I can't remember much Russian sober but as soon as a little liquor is in me I can put sentences together, and the language floods back to me.

I've been accepted into a treatment program which focuses on long-term recovery, where the initial "detox" is 1-2 months (probably some benzo help etc) and then a 6-month program to stay clean. Maybe I'll make it.

>>9920053
You’ll probably find it boring, will feel like it’s pointless and want to bail, almost all addiction therapies fail, but if you’re desperate to quit, do what they say and you’ll be sober. Not for everyone, but hope it works for you.

Been sober since 16th december.

This is fucking boring, being sober is normie tier bullshit. I didnt finish my shit killing myself before christmas instead being locked in mental ward for a week.

just wanna drink so badly right now

Anybody ITT have kids? How do you parent?

>>9920087
>just wanna drink so badly right now
it'll feel great for about 5 minutes and then you'll start regretting it
wouldn't recommend

>>9920091

I know, its the same bs each time i get these craves, i give in and its not satisfying at all. Cant fall of the wagon, gonna get kicked out then

>>9919199
normalfags think doing anything alone is weird

>>9920091
Yeah every choice I make now needs to be an investment in my future. All I’ve done for years is ruin everything. I’m running out of time to ever experience any manner of cosy which isn’t some fleeting, chemical artificiality. I demand my 7-figure bank balance and taytay pillow. The path there is necessarily strewn with tedium.

>>9918259
Lost my best best friend's doggo the day before, I kept it together for NY for him. Just went out and bought a bottle of vodka though

>>9918037
fug, wright in a benis

>>9920002
Asshole.

>>9920011
>any bilingual cunts ever feel this?
Yeah. Don't worry, it comes back in a few weeks after you go back home.
You may have a few words on the tip of your tongue and only remember them in Korean every now and then, but I think it's normal.

>>9919910
>not embracing your boner

the boner is the source of vitality

Can't sleep. So tired.

coming out of dead in the floor WD's again god damnit I just made a pizza if I start puking or shitting this liquid like yesterday I"m going to be pissed

>>9917964
guys will forgive a huge amount of flaws in the pursuit of pussy

>>9920167
girls will too, if you're attractive/have money

>>9920183
Bullshit. My bf was poor when I fell for him. Could not care less about replaceable shit like money.

>>9920211
then maybe you're one of the nice ones. Still not common.

>>9920218
Well I can't deny that there are a lot of gold diggers. There are a lot of shitty people out there in general.

>>9920053

Do it man. Rehab is the only safe place for us

I've been medically detoxes four times. You get to have interesting conversations when people are on valium

haven't showered in two weeks and thes puke and piss jugs everywhere

I hate being an addict..

>>9920247
This was me up until yesterday. That shower after a bender is awesome. Feels so good to be clean again.

>>9920211
You sound very virtuous and fat.

>>9920280
I'm 5'1 and 104 pounds.

What do you guys tend to eat when coming down off withdrawals? I know it's hard as fuck to eat, but prolonging it won't make you feel any less shit.

>>9920300
banana peppers and pickles taste amazing, but if your stomach sucks I wouldn't. rice usually stays down. You need to get your salt levels back up somehow

>>9920306
What about dry things that won't rape your stomach like salty crackers?

I grab some cream of chicken cup of soup. Your body loves the salt

Anyone else's asshole feels like it turns inside out from too much hard liquor?

>>9920425
Oh yeah. And my shit smells so bad it's unreal.

>>9920425
It feels dirty and I wipe, nothing, feels dirty again instantly. Fucking drives me insane for a few days

it feels like there's a fuckin vein popping out

And yeah it feels dirty but there's nothing ther

>>9919910
holy shit, I thought that looked like pupinia

>>9920437
I really hope these people have another bathroom with a second shower.

I haven't shaved in a month, Im head to toe itchy, my piss is like orange juice, my hair is falling out, teeth are chipping, bones crack constantly

I'm one unhealthy mother fucker.

>>9920517
How old are you?

Why is the new thread not linked here ffs? Same as last time, and same as Christmas Day. God dammit new OP, hours staring at a dead thread because you’re a dumbshit.

>>9920574

>>9920574

Was that so fucking hard?

>>9920300
Pizza. It's relatively cheap and I don't have to do any cooking.

Holy shit today was terrible.

Why did go on a bender this weekend. I looked like a visible wreck at work today. Sweating through my clothesand just acting retarded.

Starting the taper and go g to AA. Fuck this.I don't know how you liquor alcs do it

bout to drive drunk to the store to get some tomato, onoion, and might as well get some more liquor while im there
wish me luck