/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I'd eat a bullet if I were you

I had one for a year when I was 9. It's not fun. A lot of randomly shitting in front of people.

>>9910049

That's the wrong side btw. It's normally on the right.

>>9910061
that is the right

>>9910061
Colostomy is on the the other side but if they bypass the whole large intestine then it's ok the right side where the small intestine ends

>>9910061

I meant left. my other right. where my scar is.

>>9910049
Can you sous-vide this?

I've had a colostomy, a catheter, a centerline and a nose tube.

I recommend no one get crushed by a transport truck.

This is what my leg ended up like after getting run over.

>>9910107
jesus dude. glad youre okay??????

>>9910112

Crushed pelvis, right leg tib/fib, lost a ball, urinary hell, lost bowel, my left leg lost much of its artery.

I'm doing great these days though. No shit, all I have is bad sciatic pains.

My kidney got crushed and I ended up pissing a kidney stone when I was 10. It was like pissing hell and wishing you were dead. It was worse than any catheter they shoved up me when I was a child.

>>9910061
It's from a southern hemisphere textbook.

>>9910076
Just let me write that down for later on.

>>9910162

This is where my artery failed and I needed a bunch of packed bandages. It was the most pain I've ever felt.

>>9910118
Shit man, the body is resiliant. Wish there was a way to know that i'll recover that well if I ever get involved in an accident like that

>>9910183

Just don't live into your 40s or life will become ass.. Pain comes later on.

>>9910049

>>9910180
How close to death were you?

>>9910180

They packed that wound with white guaze and I shouted at the top of my lungs the entire time. You have no idea how much pain the inner flesh creates.

>>9910189

I was the most "dead" guy in 1981 in Ontario. I was totally fucking dead. SOme fucking College retard nurse saved my entire life. Never met the person who saved me.

>>9910118
https://youtube.com/watch?v=XIqJaT3cvf8

>>9910190
Is it worse than hand sanitizer on a paper cut?

>>9910189

I know the person who ran me over, but I don't know the person who saved me. That's kinda fucked up.

>>9910200

It's like feeling your insides on fire being pulled out in front of you with out any pain relief. It's sharp white pain.

>>9910201
Who? How did that happen?

>>9910210

I was a kid going to to a skating rink with friends. Just a silly trip to a rink. Drunk truck driver who turned me into ground chuck.

>>9910210

I learned about 7 different professions of medicine. Urology, Orthotics, internal medicine, skin grafters, etc..

>>9910216
I hope you made it to the rink that day and skated.
But still shit son, sounds horrible. In a way its better that it happened as a kid when you heal faster.

>>9910226

Exaclty, It's way better when it happens when you're a kid. I only need 4 months in the hosipital and months of physical therapy. Never went back to "Wheels" roller skating in London.

>>9910226

THe only problem is I'm 46 today and my goddamn sciatic nerve is eating shit.

>>9910196
Why didn't you go through the tunnel towards the light?

Did anything happen while you were dead?

>>9910293

No I woke up to ice chips a week later in the hospital. I don't remember the entire week. I was just completely mangled and had no knowledge of it.

>>9910196
Thunder Bay?

>>9910235
Smoke dope!

>>9910107
Damn dude I hope youre getting on ok

>>9910118
>all I have is bad sciatic pains

I feel ya bro, 3 ruptured discs has damaged my sciatic nerves belong healing. I can't piss or shit normally either.

>>9910049
>shitting in a bag
how about you get a second and third opinion before you do this

That's why you look both ways before crossing the street

>>9910049
>>9910058
It's like being Indian without having to pull your pants down on the street.

>>9910070
gimme your address and i'll let you find out

>>9910061
OP never said colostomy though, an ostomy can be placed anywhere on the digestive tract. If it is in the area in the pic, it may be an iliostomy or however the fuck it's spelled.

>>9910107
Fuck /b/ gore this is the real fuckin deal. Better, harder, faster, stronger. Glad your here to tell us brother.

>>9910049
The doctor didn't even specify if it's an ileostomy or colostomy? You should get a second opinion I think.
The best diet depends on this as well.


I interned in lower gastric surgery for a while.
We had one guy with a colostomy who came in like once a month because it was prolapsed and needed a few stitches. These things happen but they're not supposed to happen that much. A lot of effort was spent on making sure his diet wasn't causing constipation which is the comon cause of prolapsing but the problem just wouldn't go away.
Finally one of the doctors figured it out and asked the patient if he was gay.

>>9910107
That looks really familiar. Have you posted about this before?

OP...tell us your general area. /ck/ will cook for you forever.

Iliostomy anon here. If you have the colon removed, welcome to the thunderdome. The upside - you'll get used to it in a month and the freedom is fucking awesome.
Downside: the surgery is a hell like you've never known. The hard part is over in a week/2 weeks. Keep that in mind and enjoy those painkillers.


Basic run through - your mileage may vary

Food no gos:
Onions & Mushrooms. That shit blocks up the stoma.
Large amounts of dairy like drinking milk. It turns vile. Cheese generally is fine.
Anything with pips/seeds. Avoid them. They won't wreck you but can build up. Nuts too.
DO NOT EAT BRAN FLAKES. That kind of breaking up fibre shit will cause fucked up output
Sweetcorn. If you eat that, prepare to feel it squeeze out of your body one by one.

What you can do: Eat an entire pizza. No change there,
What you can't do: eat fucktonnes of pasta/seedy vegetables/fruit

Your new best friends:
white bread
anything eggs
meat (get rid of the fat)
egg pastas
baked beans
Bananas
Marshmallows/Jellybabies/Pringles (to thicken up the output)

Drinking:
Drink a beer ONLY WITH FOOD. On an empty stomach, it's going to straight up destroy you. I used to drink whiskey form the bottle. I had one bottle of stella and it put me on the floor.
Tea is fine. Coffee is fine.
Basic water will go right through you. It's useless.
Fruit juice is fine.
Sports drinks are nectar. Don't overdo it, or you'll develop kidney stones.

I gotta admit, the freedom I gained from a bag was incredible. Despite the diet restrictions I actually liked having one. I had no issues with sex while having one. It's nowhere as bad as you imagine it to be in your head when it's healed up.
Good luck fella.

>>9912005
Are...are you telling me that somebody was fucking the stoma for his shitbag?

>>9912112
What's the freedom of having a bag?

>>9912123
Yeah. His boyfriend was fucking it and the retard didn't think to tell us this or, you know, have him stop doing it. Came in at least once a month to have it fixed and was hospitalised for at least 48 hours each time. I know it's "free" here but it's still not actually fun.

>>9912131
I had colitis for a very long time so not having to run about shitting everywhere and being paranoid that you need the loo is incredible. You just do things and suddenly go "oh that's a little heavy" without even noticing it.
Here in the UK you order shit from a website and you basically go shopping for bag designs and attachments too. It's pretty fucking funky.

>>9912123
>>9912141
>gays

>>9910049
>Paper or plastic?
>Neither, I've got a bag for life

>>9912157
Well done, you made me fucking laugh my head off.

>>9910107
how did you get run over? can you tell us your story?

>>9912141
I'm confused, when you get one of those things installed do they putty up your butthole or something?

>>9912172
someone explain this please, it is important to know!

>>9912172
If they do a loop or divert, and the colon is left in, nothing changes except shit in a bag. If they remove it (iliostomy), they can yank about your intestine to make a fake colon called a pouch. Works similar but not the same. If you have a bag on the hip forever, they'll remove the colon and basically sew up the anus.

The more you know.

>>9912205
>sew up the anus

>>9912205
>sew up the anus.
That is fucking terrifying

Having one of those is my worst nightmare OP, I feel for you.

>>9912157

This is fucking funny though, sorry

>>9910107
jesus christ that's amazing that they saved it. how functional is everything?

>>9912005
The first suggestion was colonostomy since I have really bad perianal crohns. But the next time I saw them they were considering a full illeostomy instead. They wont know for sure until they do a colonoscopy in a few weeks. If my upper large intestine looks good they could probably do a colonostomy instead

>>9912112
What pain do you feel after the surgery? the cut where they made the stoma? the body reacting to missing internal parts? I hear the stoma itself has no nerves and thus no pain

I'm on a puree/liquid diet until my resection surgery next month (ileal structure). If I wake up with an ostomy bag due to botched surgery I might sudoku.

I'm on a puree/liquid diet until my resection surgery next month (ileal stricture). If I wake up with an ostomy bag due to botched surgery I might sudoku.

>>9910216
Ive always had a special hatred for drunk drivers. I never told anyone this but one night I saw a guy drinking beer in his truck while driving all fucking crazy in front of me on the way back from work one night. I wont say how long ago it was or where this took place, but I saw him wreck pretty bad and didnt tell anyone. He died. Deserved it.

I had to clean up a carpeted floor after some dude's bag exploded at the store I was working at. It was odorless, and looked like a weird fucking red slushie. Fucking quit right after.

>>9913097

Shoulda quit before cleaning that up, dummy

>>9912689
I won't sugar coat this. You feel like you've been fucked over by a lion. So let me break it down. You'll have the following in you

Epidural in the back to manage pain
Stomach drain
Stoma bag
Tube up the ass (to drain away anything)
IVs for fluids, etc
Cathita for the piss

Step one is moving on your side. A "normal" incision is from the groin to 2 inches past the belly button. This is where the pain killers help. Hit that fucking button and get them drugs in to back.

Step 2 is actually sitting up. You won't be eating. Your shits cut up, inflamed, and the bits inside you are swollen to fuck. Moving with all the tubes and shit is difficult and painful. Number one culprit is the stomach train.

Step 2 is getting the cathita and ass tube pulled out and going mobile for a piss. This is where the fun begins. The stomach drain is inches of pipe in the body to drain shit out. It hurts to move with it in, it'll make you go about like an old man and you will fucking hate it.

Get past that and you have the joys of eating. Start small. Soft foods. There's a good chance that your body will be making bile for the same length of intestine/colon which you won't have any more. There's a chance this will back up in your stomach and make you vomit like exorcist shit. Only solution is a tube down the nose to drain out of the stomach over a few days to stabilise. If this happens TAKE THE FUCKING ADVICE AND DO IT. Do not hesitate. I've seen people say no and the results are not pretty.

When you're more "normal" then you get to manage the bag which you won't want to do. It's the last thing and the least worst thing about the whole damn thing.

To answer your questions - you don't feel anything in there with shit missing. You might feel your guts gurgle but that's mostly it. You don't feel like somethings missing. The body simply heals around the stoma and closes up.

cont...

>>9913179

To >>9912689 still, the stoma has no nerves, you're right so you can prod and poke that shit and you'll not feel it. Naturally I didn't do that. It's like a slug. It just sits there and oozes back and forth. When you clean it, when it behaves, it's easy street.

Stoma pro tips:
If the stoma is neat and not pointing down you're in the money. If it's pointing down it'll piss out into your open wound and cause separation where acidic fluid will eat away at flesh. In this instance you need a barrier ring before the bag and to eat stuff to bulk up what you pass. Liquid = bad. Irritates skin. I know this from experience. Until it's managed the stoma can hurt like fuck. As soon as you get a barrier on to heal it, you're gravy. Done right you won't even FEEL the stoma there.

Cleaning Stoma/Changing bag
Get in and get out quickly. The longer you leave it, more chance it'll start shitting out. Understand the bodies routine and make a habit out of it. Mine gave me a window of about half hour after breakfast where it didn't pass anything. When it gets active you need to clean a lot more and lot quickly to get that fucking bag on. Remember that liquid=bad? This applies here.

After a few weeks it'll have healed up well. The moment that stomach drain is taken out at day 5-7, you'll be able to actually walk about properly. Take it easy with the food, let your body get its appetite back naturally and lean what your stoma does. It's your new best friend. Dont' be afraid of it, don't be mad at it, work with it and I promise you'll be fine.

You're gonna lose weight. That's a given. On the plus side you can eat junk food shit and it'll be good for you!

>>9913179
>>9913206

jesus man, i just spend 2 hours last night psychologically prepping myself that it would okay to do the surgery, now after reading this I'd rather just waste away.
ironically ive had IVs for over 10 years, needles, epidurals, colonoscopies, blood transfusions, IV steriods and up to 15 pills day yet the idea of a stoma surgery is scaring me to death.

>>9913097
>Fucking quit right after.
what a moron

>>9913217
Honestly what I'm most pissed about was that I was in REMISSION FOR 13 YEARS and i went off remicade for a year because of insurance complications, and I felt FINE, i was literally med-free for a year with no issues, then BAM january of this year I hit rock bottom. Remission life is still so fresh in m mind that a fucking illestomy which is basically rock bottom for crohns makes me want to cry.

>>9912673
It's times like this that I'm glad my crohns is just really aggressive and in my lower bowels and not my butt

>>9913228
Oh god, I'm in remission right now after living my entire life ignoring it until I got formally diagnosed 2 years ago. Now I'm never fucking going off of humira, fuck that, cancer be damned.

>>9910572

dude. very fucking soon its legal here.

>>9910624

My fucking toes go numb. It goes down my hips, then my knees, then my fucking bloody toes. What is that? Fuck you, evolution.

>>9911806

Sorry, I'm shit at ostomy, I got a C. See what I did there?

>>9912809

I'm bitter about that shit in my old age. But we all learn too late in life about absolutely everything.

>>9912300
what if you still wanted it for, you know, other stuff

>>9910180
Nice balls

>>9913228
I just failed humira and will probably have to go on remicade. What kind of side effects if any did you experience when you were on it?

>>9912005
Slow the fuck down. At first I thought you were implying he was just having anal and somehow that was fucking up his colostomy.

But it seems like you're saying he was letting a dude fuck him in his side-chute which I can't even begin with fathom, it's baffling on a number of levels and I'd think you'd have to find some kind of bizarre fetishists to even begin to entertain the concept.

For my own sanity I'm just going to tell myself that you made up that story.

>>9913437

Shit, my nuts were in that. I didn't mean that. That's an arterial graft for medical purposes, dammit! That was the packed graft that made me understand pain. You don't get nail bed torture or deep cutting until you get shit like that.

>>9913462
Honestly, I felt great on Remicade. It was literally a miracle drug for me that worked until my body produced antibodies for it and I was then moved to Humira.
Some may call me crazy but I found it cozy going in for 3 hour IVs every month in a chair in the infusion clinic vs self-injecting myself with a rather painful humira pen. idk man.

back to the point, i didnt really have any issues with remicade and I hope you dont either, just get used to elbow crick IVs

I remember shitting myself in front of nurses and friends, it's pretty much the worst. When my asshole was reattached I was pretty happy.

>>9910107
What happened? Truck of peace?

>>9913538

Drunk, side of the road, I was looking the wrong way at the time. Meat grinder.

>>9913429
>hey doc, can you cut out my asshole and stretch the skin over this fleshlight for reasons?

>>9913557
Just

>>9910049
I had a temporary ileostomy for a while. It was pretty bad. No matter what I tried the entire time I could never get the bags to reliably stay taped on, so I had to constantly check in on it to keep it from falling off.
Also because there's no sense of urgency when it fills up with shit it's a million times more difficult to convince yourself to get up and take care of emptying it in the middle of the night when you're trying to sleep. I think if I had a permanent one I would eventually end up just using a large garbage bag on it at night so I wouldn't have to get up.

>>9914154
How long did that last? What's your situation now?

>>9914221
>How long did that last?
I think it was only a few months, definitely less than a year.
>What's your situation now?
The temporary ileostomy was part of the process for getting the internal "j pouch" (loop of small intestine stapled together to replace removed colon) set up, and I still have that "j pouch" today.

>>9914228
do you have to empty the j pouch?

>>9914232
J pouch isn't an external bag. It's guts

>>9914232
No, it's an internal re-purposing of spare small intestine to replace the large intestine that they remove. It's not like an ostomy where a piece of intestine is left exposed through your abdomen, all your remaining intestinal structure is hooked up internally for defecation the normal way.

>>9914244
so your movement's are always loose? I've had a few feet of small bowel removed myself in two surgeries. 18 inches each time, 15 years apart

>>9914254
>>9912755 here can you tell me what your op/post-op experience was like?

Boy, I sure do love Food and Cooking!

>>9914271
yeah give me a minute, I just explained it four days or so ago. I'm going to try to find the archived post for you

>>9914254
Between 4 and 5 on the Bristol scale. The large intestine doesn't actually do any digesting of food unlike the small intestine, so you still get OK consistency. It's certainly never like that stereotypical perfect Bristol scale 3 with that distinctively textured outer layer, but I stopped having those kinds of perfect shits many years before I even began that j pouch setup process. It's not like you just shit out liquid diarrhea all the time if that's what you're thinking.
>>9914271
It was extremely uneventful for me. I wasn't in pain and nothing went wrong with the j pouch after switching over to it. It was mostly just relieving to not have to deal with ostomy bags anymore because I was really bad at managing those.

>>9914277
Where do you think food ends up?

>>9914285
Hopefully in /v/.
Because Video Games.

>>9910049

Fuck this. I'd rather just die than not be able to eat the food I want.

>>9914311
You can eat whatever you want with an ostomy. It's not having an ostomy where foods cause you trouble.

>>9914271
first one 2002 was very weak so I had to spend a week and a half at WVU university hosptal before surgery, on lots of Demerol. couldn't eat the whole time, was on IV nutrients. surgery went fine. had to stay in the hospital for 7 more days. still could not eat. but was allowed 1 mg of morphine every 7minutes, not in pain but used 520 mg in that time because I was going insane from no food. stomach pump being pulled up made food taste bad for 3 days. made me cry

may 2016 here it goes again. this time in oHIo. not weak before so I go in the day of surgery with a normal scope prep the previous 12 hours. surgery went fine. was able to eat liquid diet that evening. soft diet the next morning. second day out of surgery on a normal diet. out of hospital on day five.

you should be fine. don't worry yourself silly

>>9914271
what do you know I found the more detailed version in archive after remembering it was about making me cry. shouldn't be hard to find the posts. they're the long ones
>>9895272

>>9910107
>>9910118
Thankfully you weren't China bro, they would have ran you over continuously than leaving you for dead.
>/r/ that one webm of that chinese girl getting hit by a truck

>>9914328
Wow what a difference between the two. I guess the second one was less of a nightmare because you caught it fast enough?

If you were back on normal foods on second day why did they want to keep you there for five days?

>>9914344
God what a nightmare. I needed an ng tube for my first blockage but removing it didn't affect my taste buds. First meal back at home was eggs and toast and it made me cry because it hurt and I was scared of having to go back to the hospital.

>>9914354
keep you until you poop.
I chalked up the difference to either WV and oHIo or University hospital and catholic hospital. maybe it was the 15 years of advancements. I may never know

>>9914368
mine was in for 17 days. that's what made it bad me thinks

>>9910118
Did your researcher gf also get kidnapped ?

>>9910049
my grandpa died 3 months after having this. the doctor said he had 2 years left in him.

>>9913217
Relax dude. It works out. Don't let the >>9913179 fucker scare you. Obviously when you have major abdominal surgery some pain is involved, but that's why you get pain killers. You'll figure the rest out with excellent help from the nurses. They are literally angels.

>>9914920
Said fucker here. I never got told any of that shit i said when I went in. The doctors palmed a load of shit off and detailed nothing. It's better to go into it awares. sorry but if the guy is mentally preparing for this for 2 hours it's nowhere near enough time.

>>9913228
I was 22 when diagnosed. I was told I needed surgery right aware. You want to talk about fear? Friend, I faced it all. I was recently married, had an amazing job and it all came crashing down when I was diagnosed. I thought my life was over. I thought that was it. Over the course of 15 years I used every drug available. That talk about remicade - I was on the drug trial to get Infliximab approved, which allowed remicade to come into treatment. I remember being told I needed this bag and standing in a hospital shower bawling my eyes out.

And here's the funny thing. If I knew what I knew now, I would have taken the surgery immediately. All the drugs did was hold it off. I did the humeria injections. I had the infusions in a day ward time and time again - I even gained neurological damage as a result. I've been on prendisolone, pentasa, methotrxate, every poison you can imagine to hold it off.
When the day for the surgery came I was scared. I admit that, no problem.
When I woke up, I took every day at a time.
Within 3 weeks I was more mobile than I ever was with UC.
I will not lie to anyone and say it's a walk in the park. It's hellish. But what comes after will change your life and you'll be so much better off.

I don't regret anything in my life except that. It gave me my life back in every sense of the word.

>>9914282
J pouch bro high five.

>>9914766
He never asked for this

>>9913488
no, I really like going for my Remicade infusions too, it's chill and the nurses are nice and they give you coffee and snacks.

>>9915195
Exactly. it was pretty nice

>>9912141
Gay men are so fucked up.

>>9912205
If you get gassy does the bag inflate up like a balloon?

>>9915418
Yes and no. Yes, being that certain foods create more gas and with a loop or removal you can't fart, so it has to go somewhere. Bags have a charcoal ring to filter out gas, but you might need to burp it from time to time (tilt it up, undo it, push the gas out then do it back up. Takes 10-20 secs).

As an aside, I had my bag for a couple of years and I had only 1 leak from a small split at the back. Never popped off or anything like that, never exploded on me (though really heavy sleepers and big eaters this can happen to).

>>9913467
Yep, my eyes are knocking fuck out of each other trying to get my head around that, if you're with such a degenerate that looks at your misfortune, sees what you've been through but asks if he can fuck your new hole...and you let him then just...fuckin...God.

>>9910118
Could you post empty ball slot? You could pixelate it out some to throw off the janitors.

>>9915032
>All the drugs did was hold it off.
Yeah, that was my reason for going with the j pouch surgery. Prednisone in particular really messed me up, I was kept on it way longer than how long you're supposed to take it for and it only really helps in getting you short term relief, in the long term it screws everything up, makes your intestinal damage even worse and gives you new problems on top of that like swelling up your face to freakish proportions and giving you massive abscess acne if you spend two seconds in contact with sunlight.
Remicade was experimental at the time and only for Crohns, though doctors would offer to label you as Crohns just so you could qualify. I turned that one down though because of the increased risk of lymphoma they warned you about at the time. I don't know how common it is to actually get lymphoma after taking immunosuppressants, but I really didn't want to deal with cancer on top of bowel disease.
Surgery of course can have its own very severe complications both short term and long term, but for me anywhere I liked the sense of closure that comes from just excising the entire diseased large intestine and taking the guess work out. With pretty much any medicine I'd tried in the past I'd always be anxious about whether or not it would stop working and I would notice blood in my shit again, and it felt like a bad feedback loop I couldn't get out of where anxiety would cause GI irritation / the urge to defecate, which would increase irritation / inflammation, which would lead to ulcers opening up again and blood shitting out, which would make me more anxious, etc. I think that would've been a problem for me no matter what medicine I tried if I didn't go the surgical route.

>>9915598
Can I ask you what it's like to lose a nut?
Did you notice hormonal changes? Drop in test or no difference?

>>9915598
I've been on Prednisone is various doses since May, its literally the only thing keeping me goig right now, I was at 40 in may, came off it in July got sick, went back on it in August at 20 came off it in september and got sick, went to the hospital in october for emergency IV steroids, came off it in december and got sick AGAIN. docs said im steroid dependant and that the humira levels in my body are very high which is good but somehow isnt fighting the crohns, which is where i ended up in the OP post with the docs suggesting a colonostomy as a last option if Stellara doesnt work

>>9915609

not the same guy. but your other nut works overtime. not a problem for the most part. just makes saying 'my nuts' feel like a lie.

>>9914285
>>9914277
Better than the same threads we have every day. Also, there has been what-to-eat advice throughout this.

Jesus this thread
I don't remember when it was the last time I got shocked by a thread

>>9915609
I didn't lose a testicle, that was this guy:
>>9910118
>>9915624

I don't like this thread

>>9915598
Word, fella. The mental weight from the drugs is immense. Pentasa I found to be horrific - changed my personality to short tempered and snappy. Apparently side effects from that stuff are common.
Nice reading about your thoughts on it as they mirror my own. I'm 4 weeks into having a J pouch and am still learning how my body is reacting to it all. Learning to poop again is weird. If I was honest, I miss the bag.

>>9916026
>Pentasa I found to be horrific
I've been taking 4 grams a day for over a year and a half and never once seen a side effect. strange

>>9916188
Might be because of the dose. I was on 8g for years. I didn't even know until the wife pointed out how much I changed.

>>9916198
I couldn't imagine taking 16 of those big fuckers. I asked my doc about upping me to 5 grams and he said no. they don't do much for you past 4 grams. I never looked into it though. it's so weird different docs doing different things

>>9913556
were you in a car? or just on foot?

>>9915428
>>9915418
>>9912205
>>9912172
I did not really want to know this.

Jesus, this feels much worse than seeing any of the gore on /b/, BG or what have you...

God damn.

>>9910049
Do you still go to the bathroom? How do you clean it?

>>9916268
To the loo, unfasten it from the bottom and let it all drain out in the loo. run some toilet paper over the flap, refasten and jobs a good un.

>>9916326
So you don't have to clean inside the hole?
Also you didn't answer if you still poop the normal way too

>>9916345
You shit in the bag. Poo is diverted to the bag before it reaches the colon - if you have a colon. Of course you don't shit like "normal". There's nothing to come out.

Bags get changed every 3-5 days where you take them off, clean the area with cleaning fluid/water to make sure shit hasn't caught on something and built up. You don't have to clean 'inside' the hole, not at all. At most you run a tissue around the stoma itself to get rid of any shit on it. Slap on a new bag, hold it so that the body warmth makes it stick to the skin and you're done. By the time you've done it 6 times or so, it becomes boring and routine.

>>9916326
Do you have to get down real low when emptying it so it doesn't splash water everywhere?

What is the life expectancy for someone who is this completely fucked as a functioning human?

>>9916373
You just sit on the toilet. Undo the flap on the bag and it just pours out. It's naturally low enough that it doesn't spray everywhere if that's what you mean.

>>9916361
Wait you don't change the bag every day?
That's nasty as fuck
Do you look at it and think when did I have corn?

>>9916399
You .must have the cleanest toilet in the world, hell you don't even need a bathroom

>>9916420
Of course you don't change the bag every day you dunce. Do you have any idea what that'll do to your skin? The inability to actually heal? the irritation? You'll do a lot more damage unfastening it every day then you would with the stoma pissing out shit on your skin. It doesn't stay on with magic,

>>9916426
Bonus is that if the need takes me I can take the bag off and huck the fucker at cars off a bridge

>>9912157
Pure fucking gold

This thread was very educative. Thanks for all the anons that shared their experience. I wish you all a good and nice year.

>>9910049
I had one. Fun stuff.
Now I don't have a large intestine and anal is forever ruined for me.

>>9915611
I've been on a pred rollercoaster since February. Everytime I try to taper below 30 I end up back in the hospital. On 40 until surgery. Keep re-tearing foot/calves due to muscle wasting. Moon face and back acne as well.
Hospital solumedrol causes such bad phlebitis that my IVs infiltrate and have to be moved.

Stuck on pred until I can find a drug that I don't produce antibodies for.

>>9917310
>>9915598
can someone tells me what evil bad things pred actually does other than make your face fat and acne? because thats all i ever got from it aside from its positive effects with crohns

>>9917652
Osteoporosis
Muscle wasting
Slow wound healing
Increased risk of infection

>>9917734
>Osteoporosis
i forgot about this one. i had a bone density scan done in sept that said i was osteopenia levels, but its something apparently i had before my flareup

>>9910049
>Doctor said I need a backiotomy

>>9912112
Wut? Water is useless?

>>9917821
>he had sex with my momma!

>>9917821
>>9917871
lol now I wanna watch that movie

>see those red hairs??
>..i see those...

>>9917901

>>9917652
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYlgtloOztU

Pretty much this. But if you need it, it beats the alternative.

>>9910061
snapchat reverses images, brainlet

>>9916225
He was driving drunk. Learn to read.

>>9910196
Aren't you happy you lived to see the Ontario of the future?

>>9918199
>Anon doesn't know about children's social media
>Brainlet

>>9916011

ya seriously, this is horrifying.

The descriptions in this thread are enough to make me nauseated. If I ever needed one of those disgusting shitbags attached to me, I would shoot myself without hesitation.

>>9918207
Sounds like you're the one who needs to learn to read.

>>9918312
you can put a cover over it so you dont have to look at it

>>9910076
Don't tell me what to do faggot

>>9910107
God I wish that was me

op are you now able to live in relative liesure for the rest of your life because of the injury?

>>9918426
Why would that be? An ostomy bag doesn't stop you working

>>9918426
>mangled by car
>needs a shitting bag and will leak shit
>messed up leg and other body areas

you'll be in pain later in life according to this thread

>>9912005
>Finally one of the doctors figured it out and asked if he was gay.

Wait...you don't mean....no... No.....NOOOOOOOOO

>>9910107
very and true honest question:have you considered kys? no kidding,have you?

>>9918848
Who on this site hasn't?

>>9910216
What happened to the drunk driver? The usual Canadian "judge gives the poor bastard an apology and a medal for his emotional trauma" deal?

That sucks OP. I have a friend who is wearing 3 bags right now because of his condition.

>>9918870
8real90me

>>9913467
>For my own sanity I'm just going to tell myself that you made up that story.
No, it's quite common among the homosexual colostomy crowd. Seriously.

Damn, sometimes I think I have it rough.

>>9919175

Criminally, I don't know. He probably got fucked. Civilly his company lost half a million bucks.

>>9918312
I miss when the extent of my understanding of "being attached to a shitbag" was marriage

>>9910107
lol holy fug man

>>9918312
What's the problem? It'll be like having a conjoined twin in your case.

>>9913274
my entire left leg went numb, right leg was in pain from the ass to toes dick and balls were numb in pain, moving my head, coughing or breathing deeply would cause pain. Sciatic pain is the worst fucking lingering pain people can experience.

>>9917652
aside from what other anons mentioned it has some quite strong psychoactive properties, a lot of people are fine with it but i got a steroid induced psychosis from it, not to mention the insomnia and irritability/'roid rage'

>>9915624
as a testicular cancer survivor, my advice to you is to get on TRT as soon as your levels dip below 400 ng/dl. Your bone density will thank you in the long run.

t. approaching 7 years cancer free

>>9912151
When someone hugs you and you see they notice the bag, do you tell them what it is?

>>9919875
Congrats anon. That's really something you need to be proud of
Not being sarcastic or anything. cancer is fucking brutal

>>9919937
Personally I'm very open about it. I went for a beer with my ex workmates who I hadn't seen in a couple of years. Showed them. The thing is, you can't wear it a be shameful of the bag. I saw it as a medal of going through a trauma. I'm very open with people and I'll answer any question they have about it. If they understand it, they won't be thinking WTF in the back of their heads. It's like someone with a missing arm. You ask about it, 5 mins later you've moved on to talking about something else.

>>9919210
>>9918312
Intenstinal disorders fucking suck mostly because its gross stuff nobody wants to talk about or see vs having a heart condition or something less noticable. cancer is still probably the worst

>>9919998
Honestly, I'd be much more comfortable knowing someone has a missing arm than this shit.

>>9920370
So if you had the surgery for reasons out of your control, you would be fine with people looking at you and going "get the fuck away from me, that's disgusting"? Your work just kicking you to the side? Your friends not wanting to invite you over or drop in because of "that fuclking nasty-ass bag shit"?

>>9920368
>Gross stuff

And this is why people die. Because they don't want to talk about it because it's gross.It's the exact reason why I'm very public about it - so people get talking about it. I'm part of a hospital program to talk to people who need to have it done. I meet them for coffee and we talk. I didn't confront mine because people don't want to discuss it. I'm changing that as much as I can.

>>9912005
>Finally one of the doctors figured it out and asked the patient if he was gay.

Was /pol/ right this time guys?

>>9919998
>tfw no upbeat charismatic bag freind

>>9920382
I can't imagine I would even want to be around other people if I had that. Hell, I doubt I would even want to live at all.

>>9910107
leg1 more like 1leg am I right

>>9920399
Then, no joke, I worry about your mental state as a human being. Love yourself more, fella.

It's not a death sentence in the slightest. I felt better with a bag than I did with over a decade of colitis.

>>9920382
A few months before I was diagnosed with crohns when I was 11 I had really bad diarrhea for almost 2 months but at that age I was too embarassed to tell anyone anything so I kept it to myself which which a mistake but man there's still so much stigma about "shit" diseases

>>9910328
YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF
WELL
HOW DID I GET HERE?

>>9920539
I love myself without having to live with a bag hanging out of me.

>>9921155

and I'm sure those around you see you for the shining example of a human being that you are.
not that guy but I would rather have to shit in a bag than be you
what is wrong with you?

when the time comes, and you get ill - and it WILL come - you're going to crumble and fall apart

>>9921197
>when the time comes, and you get ill - and it WILL come - you're going to crumble and fall apart
Well yeah, that's kinda what I was saying. I wouldn't want to live with a shit bag hanging out of me. Like, literally wouldn't want to live.

>>9921220
With an attitude like yours I don't think you should wait

>>9921271
No, I'm fine with living how I am now. That attitude only comes into play if I'm faced with having my intestines removed and having a bag of shit hanging out of me the rest of my life.

>>9920667
>kept it to myself at 11
I can't imagine telling other children you had that would have worked out at all

>>9921311
I'm guessing he meant his parents, or a doctor.

>>9921317
You don't have doctor-patient confidentiality as a minor except in psychiatric work. And the only way for him to be diagnosed is by a doctor, so his parents undoubtedly knew.

>>9921317
>>9921346
Nobody knew, didnt tell my parents or a doctor until i developed other non-shit symptoms that finally made me say something to them

>>9917652
This is a big one:
>>9917734
>slow wound healing
Because what it meant with my ulcerative colitis is the prednisone would relieve some symptoms at first but would then proceed to weaken / thin out everything so that the damage would get way worse and have less chance of recovering later on.

>>9921354
>top 10 anime betrayals
fuck man

>>9921299
>I'm fine with how I am now

I'm sure everyone around you is too

>>9921406
Yeah, they seem to be.

>>9921354
On the flip-side, humira healed my inflammation so fast that it caused scarring and now I need that part removed.

>>9920809
THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL SHIT
THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL BAG

>>9921646
You may find yourself under the wheel of a large automobile

>>9921680
damn

What needs to go wrong in order to have to get one?

>>9922291
if you dont take enough poops your shithole gets backed up and they need to open a second hole

>>9919748

You can make these giant bags from white denim and oates that you can heat up in the microwave. These suckers are huge and are like hot water bottles on speed.

They are hot for hours, give you dry heat and can relieve back pain like a motherfucker. Better than any heating blanket.

>>9922291
your immune system attacks your intestines
your intestines stop working
food can't make it all the way from your mouth out your ass
stomach hole

>>9922291
aside from things listed above, rectal cancer

>>9922686
>>9922927

>things i cant control

dude fuck the human body

>>9922951
Yeah, it's just a reassuring normie lie that problems only happen to you if you do something wrong.
The other reassuring normie lie this sort of situation disabuses you of is the idea any medical condition you get can be "treated" with doctors / medicine and then you're fine.
Realizing that second one wasn't true when I was younger was a pretty disturbing revelation.
Later I looked into other medical problems and found a definite pattern of people getting fucked up diseases and having medicine options which at best just temporarily relieve some symptoms and which at worst end up causing even worse problems a few years later.
I wish they would teach you this in school, everyone would probably be a lot kinder to everyone else if they knew how bad things really were.

>>9922291
Car accident like anon or stabbed like in NBC Hannibal

>>9923054
>crohns is STILL an incurable disease

when i was diagnosed at age 11 that really messed me up. though my parents initially thought i had luekemia so i guess it was a lesser evil

>>9915480
I was a cop for a while in tge early 2000's the shit gay men will stick up their ass is astounding. A fireman died from shaking up 2 liter Dr Peppers and shooting the foam up his ass..apparently Dr. Pepoer is the preferred soda because the secret formula absorbs better, it also caused his heart attack. I had to answer a call where one had shoved the hook end of a coat hangar up there. He was sent from the original hospital to a military hospital because he was Navy. The x rays were used in my nursing class. The teacher asked the students to guess what happened. The faces of the other students were priceless as i explained in detail what happened and how i knew. To think i came to /ck/ looking for smoker recipes, and ended up in this thread.

>>9921408
I don't have a shitbag & already want to kill myself on a daily basis, but I think once something like that changes in your life, you quickly acclimate to the importance of being alive and it shows how steep of a cliff losing your life really is.
But I don't know shit, 21 years old and have no physical disabilities cept for a small dick.

>>9912141
Fucking degenerate

>>9912809
Don't feel bad about it.
>Be cop
>See drunk guy in 150
>Light him up
>Speeds off
>2 miles later rolls his rig at 90 mph
>Casually walk to wreck while calling aid
>He ded

Had 6 prior DUIs. Fuck em.

nice food discussions guys

>come casually to /ck/ for one mediocre thread a day maybe
>Suddenly find best, realest thread in 4chan in at least a couple years
I guess that's a good start for the new years. Hope you guys are doing good. There are worst things than getting a shitbag, it's just a matter of perspective.

tongue cancer fag here, had half my tongue removed and radiation treatment that fried all my remaining taste buds so I can't taste anymore

BUT

I'd definitely commit sudoku if I had to carry around my shit in a bag that's fucked up

>>9924799
what brings you to the food and cucking board if you can't even taste, friend?

>>9924615
what are your thoughts on snapchatting and facebooking and smsing while driving than pig?

>>9924813
remembering what it was like to being a person who gave a shit about food

also the lols

How the fuck there are so many people with Crohns in one place? Can you get it as you grow older, or what do I have to do to NOT have to use one of these bags? Dont think I could live with the humilliation.

>>9922322
ill look into this, thanks

>>9924949
OP here, nobody in my immediate family has any chronic illnesses, nobody in my extended family on either side has crohns/UC/colon cancer. There's never been any records as far as we can tell yet here I am, age 11, getting diagonosed with a major attack of crohns which caused me to get a huge dose of Prednisone and swell up and get acne just in time for puberty and middle school. Those were bad years

>>9924949
>humiliation
Were you planning on walking around without a t-shirt so everyone could see your ostomy bag? Or emptying it out onto the floor in the middle of a university lecture? It's not "humiliating," most people wouldn't even be aware you have it. And in terms of personal shame in private, that's stupid too because everyone shits. Whether it's coming out your asshole or out of some piece of intestine pulled through your abdomen doesn't really change that fact much. It's not like shit out your asshole has some special dignified status to it, it's about as disgusting and fucked up a process when it's working the normal way as it is when it's pulled through your abdomen. In both cases people deal with it by not making defecation a public topic in the first place.

>>9924949
It's a complicated disease and it's not fully understood what causes it. It's likely a combination of environmental and genetic factors and usual onset is in the teens-early adulthood.

Getting a bag like you see in this thread is usually the very last step when all other treatment options have failed. Some patients are diagnosed and barely have any symptoms. It really varies a lot from patient to patient. What you're reading ITT is really the ones that got it the worst.

>>9924821
Not him, but anyone who texts and shit while driving is an idiot and should be put in jail for and license revoked. All it takes is one mistake while drunk driving, texting and driving, or doing one of the many other things you shouldnt do while driving to kill an innocent.

If you drunk drive you should get Attempted Manslaughter everytime you get caught

I've read some things today that need to be erased, for my own good.
>tfw regular rectal bleeding

>>9925722
dont look up perianal crohns, skin tags, or anal fistuals then

>>9924826
>that gif
not sure if you meant to type "lols" or "lolis"

>>9924949
I was completely healthy until my crohns manifested at age 21

>>9922291
crohns is basically your body attacking itself right? so it chews away at your intestines until its scarred and raw, which also means they cant do their job of getting nutrients, absorbing water, etc.

a bag bascically means the intenstines cant be saved and youre "rerouting" the waste to the bag. unforunately with crohns if you just cut out the bad part of the intestines it fucking comes right back where you cut it.

>>9924949
this is 4chan after all

>>9925985
>lolis

Shitty situations. Makes me fortunate I just have mild sciatic nerve pains from getting t-boned. Could’ve been a lot worse

>>9924799
Did you chew tobacco, smoke or dip?

>>9924799
How’d you first realize you have mouth cancer?

>>9928112
Bump for this

>>9913467
I heard of it happening with a wife and her husband too.

>>9912157
I lost my fucking shit (and not in a sewn on plastic bag)

>>9925985
>those honkers
>lolis
m8

>this thread

I need to buy a gun to go out on my own terms.

>>9921350
>other non-shit symptoms that finally made me say something to them
Like such as?

>>9925339
A normal reaction from a normal human being here. People who are freaking out saying that they would bullet themselves are ridiculous.

>>9925722
Putting hard money on a fissure, but get checked out

>>9926129
Yes and no. Chrons can happen from the tip of the tongue to the tip of the anus. It causes ulcers which fuck you up and make things considerably difficult. Colitis is localised to the colon.

>>9930220
Going to assume arthritis from white blood cell out of control, lethargic/tiredness, random pain/limb lockup. I developed septicaemia with mine.

I had a temp ileostomy while going through the reconstructive J-pouch surgeries mentioned earlier in the thread thanks to a very severe case of Ulcerative Colitis. Colon and Rectum completley removed.

I only leaked once during my two year time with it and aside from that no one besides family and friends that knew what was happening had any idea I had a bag. It doesn't smell, it doesn't hurt.

Food wise I was only really restricted in the beginning from beans, corn and anything rough like salad. So not terrible and eventually i had no issue eating anything.

Now I just shit 7 times a day but it's a decent tradeoff considering i have 0 colon or rectum.

See your dr about any stomach or digestive issues cause if ignored it'll fuck you up/

>>9912157
9/10

>>9930220

I had painful swelling all over my legs which made me unable to walk. sure enough somehow the docs connected it to crohns and the rest is history

>>9921680
This shit is too good

>>9924799
I'd rather have a bag of poo hanging off of me than to not ever taste anything I eat.
>>9926114
same here except I was almost 19
>>9910049
I really hope the crohns I have does not lead to a bag

>>9918207
Was there brain damage?

>>9913217
>up to 15
britbong here
been on 21 crohns meds a day in my peak

>>9910058
>He'd rater eat a bullet than show the slightest bit of resilience

>>9912755
Met surgeon yesterday
Surgery scheduled for day before my bday

>>9932140
Happy birthday! What kind of cake you want?

>>9920382
Good for you baganon! People need to stop being so skeeved out about their own damn bodies. It's a stupid thing and I'm glad you're fighting it.

>>9910118
Damn.
Did you at least get a juicy lawsuit out of it or did you cuck yourself by jaywalking at midnight

>>9932198

750 grand.

>>9924799
As soon as you said you had half your tongue removed I just started reading the rest of the post in a voice of a person missing their tongue and I feel kinda guilty rn.

I'm in the same boat with my Ulcerative Colitis. Only had it for like 2 years and went through all the drugs that either didn't do shit or put in remission for about a month before going back to shit. Even tried the specific carb diet for a few weeks but apparently I wasn't using the most natural of vegetables and the most pure grass fed meats on the market or some stupid shit and I didn't do it for months before it "sets in" so my health went back to shit. Can't even cook for myself when I'm too weak to get out of bed and too nauseous to drink even water so that bland ass diet was a no go. Right now I'm trying to desperately contact the GI office so I can set an appointment and talk about surgery but those retards never pick up or read messages. It took them literally a month and a half to send in the right fucking order for Remicade because they had such incompetent staff and all while I was literally down to skin and bones. Just give me my damn poop bag already.

>>9932202
I feel like you're not OP

>>9932146
Thank you
I'll probably ask for cheesecake

>>9912157
No thanks, I'll bag my own.

>>9932343
hang in there bro the first time i made an appt with the GI I was in so much pain and the best they could give me was 4 months later. I called every week asking for an opening because I couldnt wait 4 fucking months, finallt they got me in much sooner

>>9920399
You would think that until you experience the worst symptoms of UC. Imagine having to sit on a hemorrhoid donut cushion because you have ulcers down to your asshole which feels like splinters? And every time you shit(every hour or evne less) it felt like burning acid. You would just forget what it's like to shit normally. The bag isn't even that bad not to mention you can do a J-pouch surgery.

>>9932379
That's what I'm fearing. Right now I'm bedridden and shitting every hour and vomiting. Luckily I scored some weed and holy shit does that straight up eliminate some of the symptoms.

>>9932343
go to the ER and do what ever it takes to get admitted. a GI doc will be seeing you very soon after that

>>9910049
holy sh*t wtf, just die at this point, honestly.

>>9932406
You should go to the ER before you puke yourself to dehydration

>>9910180
nuts detected

seriously though, holy fuck anon. those are some hardcore scars. still pretty sexy leg tho

>>9928104
none. I didn't smoke nor come from a family that did.

>>9928112
I bit my tongue once and had regular white sore that didn't heal for ~6 months (but it wasn't a lump or anything weird looking). I started getting recurring ear aches and had a CT scan and it turns out I had a tumor in my tongue putting pressure on the nerve that resolved as in pain in my ear.

>>9932240
I have a skin graft (radial free forearm flap) as a 'holder' and had a lot of speak therapy so I can talk properly, most people don't even notice.

>>9931239
just like the anon who said that pooing in a bag gave them more freedom, I say having no taste gives me freedom cause I'm free to eat shit for it's nutritional value and quality and not be fooled by taste desu

This thing has been up for 4 days

>>9934365

This has been the best thread on /ck/ for the last four days.

>>9910049
I remember being horrified by someone with one as a kid.

What should i do to make sure i never have to have one of these?

>>9910049
is better than dying?

>>9934943
Never leave your house>>9934946

>>9919998
Doesn’t the bag have poop in it? I’m a for talking and being open but I also wouldn’t show someone that at a bar..

In an hour I have an endoscopy to see why I haven’t been able to tolerate normal food for the last month. I hope it’s nothing serious.

You anons are so strong really proud of you and wish you great futures.

>>9935113
last time I had one. I took a voice recorder with me so I could record the conversation with the doc. they like to talk to you while still out of it. I hardly remember talking to him. but could listen to the conversation

>>9910180
nice butthole

>>9935132
They said I will be asleep but yeah I have a feeling it’s going to be more of a deep twilight. I just hope I don’t even seen let alone feel some camera going down my throat.

To the anon(s?) with shitbags, are you able to control bowel movement? Like do you ever have to "hold it in"? If no, have you ever "shit yourself" while changing bags?

>>9935140

that's my left iliac artery. it kinda looks like a butthole now.

>>9935167
I was talking about recording your conversation after the scope. your now awake/aware, but it's almost like when your black out drunk.
about your comment on feeling the camera in the throat. wildest medical experience ever, was my first scopes. they performed upper and lower back to back. they actually let me stay awake for the upper and I was watching the screen, it was like one continuous burp that lasted 3 minutes. so neat watching that screen. then they gave me the "twilight" drug and did the lower. I don't remember that at all

>>9935103
It's more of a liquid, but I don't walk about going "Check this fucker out". Friends don't care about that shit, they don't recoil and run for the hills. Of course I say "if you're cool with checking it out". I've never had anyone say no.

>>9935239
You have zero control over it spitting shit out. It does it automatically. If the stoma is ok and the area around it not sore you don't even feel it on you. When changing bags people have their own routine. I do mine after a shower and sit on the toilet. If you catch it when it's less active (I put somewhere above that you can learn when your body is less active and change it then) then nothing comes out. If you change when it is active, it's a hassle as it drips out and you have to clean it to the point where you can quickly slap the bag on. It's a hassle but one of those things.

>>9935113
Let us know how it goes mate, best of luck

my doc moved my colonoscopy from februrary to next tuesday. here we go bros, the results of this will pretty much determine if humira is working or if I have to start considering surgeries

>>9910049

>>9935244

>>9935647
Good luck!

>>9934338
>I have a skin graft...
That's very fascinating. How long did you need speech therapy?

>>9910136
Kidney stones caused me literal blinding pain. I could do absolutely nothing but scream in total agony. Dear God.

my grandpa had one because of CC. Only real downside was the uncontrollable farts. But at least it didn't smell.

>>9919875
I've been sitting at 300-330 for a couple years and it seems like nobody will treat you unless you're 250 or under. Doctor shopped maybe 4-5 different urologists and none of them would play ball.

>>9937465
>none of them would play ball
It's just nuts.

>>9910196
Medical records should show who saved you or Police/Firemen Records.

Shouldn't be hard to ask.

good luck to everyone

Do any of you with the bags have a gf or a wife? Really curious on how you would have sex with one on.