/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>8053237
Post recipe.

should beat up your brother and his bitch ass kid

>>8053237
Kill yourself.

>>8053237
>called the writing style inappropriate
How could you possibly use any language that could remotely be perceived as inappropriate by anyone in a fucking recipe for Macaroni and Cheese

please don't tell me you wrote it in the style of those stupid reddit meme posts

>alright motherfuckers let's make some god damn mac and cheese

no, please

>>8053244
This is it so far. I am trying to make it fun for him and my brother to read.

>>8053258
Why did you feel it was necessary to go so overboard like this? How old is the kid? He'd probably even think this is retarded.

>>8053258

Fuck off, retard.

>>8053258
Go jump in a vat of acid.

>>8053258
Kids verbally like it when you treat them like adults you know, and avoid that "mooooooo" stuff

>>8053258
Even this little kid thinks you're a retard

>>8053258
Holy kek

>>8053262
He is a kid, I want to entertain him

Tell your brother to fuck off with his pussy son

>>8053258
Best thread all day

>>8053237
pizza

kids love making pizza
and it's almost impossible to fuck up

>throw it so it splashes like your bully splashed you with toilet water

thats probably why

i feel like repeatedly bringing up his bully is a poor choice lol.

>>8053337
Honestly, Hahahaha.

If I was this kid id be getting flashbacks and associating this cooking experience with sadness and shame/embarrassment that others know that I get bullied.

Top kek

Do people really think this thread is serious? These replies are making me cringe.

>>8053258
This is amazing. Is this a bait thread? It seems too hilarious to be real. Either way made my day.

>>8053356
>thread
Not serious
>serious replies
Playing along
>People who hate fun
You
>Cringe
You

>>8053258
This is why I love 4chan

>>8053360
>implying I'm not in on it and not posting under several layers of irony

>>8053258
and this year's /ck/ringe award goes to...

>>8053258
You'll fit right in with Reddit.

>>8053303
This is you right now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoXDe8HxHBA

>>8053258
Autism

>>8053258

>>8053264
>>8053267
>>8053385
>>8053389
reverse bait? not sure that an adult could be stupid enough to think this is serious

>>8053258
Recipe sounds de-lish! I think you might want to change the font to comic sans though. Makes it easier for the kid to read.

>>8053258
SCREENCAP ME

>What the fuck do I do?

He's a kid, kids like sugary things. Go find a basic chocolate chip cookie recipe.

>>8053258

>>8053258
The reads like a book written for a 3 year old. Sad!

>>8053258
>your bully will think your dad works at Cheetos

Okay, 4ch is probably gonna call me too nice here, but if you're validating his bully for using fucking pregrated parmesan, you're not gonna help the situation, because then he'll be afraid of what he's doing even at home.
That and the holy fucking cringe in the whole recipe.

>>8053245
This

>>8053423
this.
also write it like a normal human being

>>8053258
>OR MAYBE HEADBUTT YOUR BULLY!
>STINKY WEEEEWWWWW STINKIER THAN YOUR BULLY
>MOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>ORGANIC ONLY
>IF YOU USE PREGRATED YOUR BULLY WAS RIGHT
>touch it to feel the heat but don't go inside
>throw it so it splashes like your bully splashed you with toilet water
>think your dad works at Cheetos
>kids who use black pepper might
It's so dense; there's so much stuff going on in every frame.

>>8053441
>This reads like a book written by a 3 year old
you made some typos there, don't worry I fixed it.

>>8053547

>>8053258
>(IF YOU USE PRE GRATED YOUR BULLY WAS RIGHT!)

>>8053258
>Throw it so it splashes like your bully splashed you with toilet water!

>>8053258

OP, you magnificient retard.Have you ever met an 8 year old child? Do you have some sort of restraining order against all children?

>>8053258
I cringed internally once I got to the Milk part and stopped reading.

Now I'm craving mac.

Long weekend... cook along thread this weekend?

>>8053258
thanks for the laugh OP, I needed that

>>8053739
>metal whisk in nonstick pan
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8053739
I hope daddy turned on that stove for you

>>8053258
>kids who use cayenne pepper don't ge tbullied! BUt kids who use black pepper might

delete this

kek 2 bottles of wine today and who am i kidding, for the last 2 years, LOL who am I kidding, for the last 6 years, fuck I can feel my body getting raped and I just don't stop

cghec this shit out tho it's kekc
https twitch LUL thursdayknights
LOL

attached is a sTeak dish I cooked.

>>8053258
I'm fucking crying.

>>8053237
what kind of backwater flyover shit hole of a state do you live where they still have bullying. i mean it's 2016.but seriously tendies or za.

>>8054305
what

if anything bullying doesn't happen in flyover land since small town schools

>>8053258
>daddy

>>8053258
jesus fucking christ couldn't make it till the end i'm having a heart attack the cringe

Cook him a dish best served cold.

>>8053258
Dude, you suck.

>>8053547
Every frame? There are no frames.

>>8054376
No, there's one frame.

>>8054070
Attached is a steak dish I overcooked.

FTFY

>>8053258

>>8053258

>>8053258
I cringed

>>8053237
so many dicks in this thread
Eggs dude, most kids love eggs of some variety
my step brother is a 6 year old autistic fuckwit but he can flip an egg without breaking the yolk.
if you're just trying to spend time with the fucker keep it simple, don't let him fail

>>8054426

Which hugbox did you crawl out of?

>>8054438
reddit probably.

>>8054441
fuck that kid let him die
better?

>>8053258
Holy fuck this is the greatest recipe I've seen in my life top shit OP

>>8053258
>if you use pregrated then your bully was right!!!!

10/10

>>8053739
>that much mac
>that amount of water
It's like you like clumps of mac.

>>8054629

It was for a mac 'n cheese gratin. You need to relax. I know it's hard understanding how to cook, but there's a method to the madness. Maybe you'll get it after a few more years... maybe... You need a certain amount of moisture for the gratin because it requires baking to brown the topping. Otherwise it just dries out completely.

>>8054633
I think he was talking about the amount of water that you used to boil the macaroni. It seemed like there was too little in there, which can make for clumped pasta. Also
>not just broiling it so you don't need a thin sauce
Broiling also makes it so that the sauce doesn't break or curdle since it doesn't cook the sauce/pasta mixture more.

>>8054637

>broiling mac and cheese

haha whaaaaaaaaa

>>8054650
It gives the top bread crumb layer a great crunch and fuses it with the pasta without a chance of breaking the sauce. Try it out

>>8053258
>4chan is autistic kids is a meme

Not so sure now

>>8054658
Can confirm. This is actually pretty standard.

>>8053547
it's like poetry sort of, they rhyme.

hopefuly it will work
:P

>>8053258
admit it anon, you are the kid who got bullied for writing this recipe

>>8053258
???

>>8053258
Are you autistic?

>>8053258
">Daddy" has to touch all the hot stuff

>>8053251
>BOIL THE FUCKING NOODLES!
>DO IT YOU CUM GUZZLING BITCH OR YOU FUCKING DIE!

>>8055043
Ignore this post, OP's recipe is fucking amazing.

>>8053258
>Throw it so it splashes like your bully splashed you with toilet water

Holy shit

>>8053258
now this is shitposting

>>8053258
Surely you were a kid once right?

Did you like this kind of shit when you were a kid?

>>8053258
what did you mean by this?

>>8053258
It was physically agonizing to read this. When is the last time you interacted with a child? Are you allowed?

>>8053258
Have another (You), (You)'ve earned it

>>8053258
Thanks, reading this post made me feel a little less bad about myself.

>>8053258
this is the greatest thing i've ever read and i hope it becomes a meme forever

>>8053258
ask for recipe to help kid take his mind off being bullied, YOU FILL IT FULL OF BULLY REFERENCES!

Do you hate the child or something?

>>8053237
Fuck off, /r9k/.
I could tell right away this was you. I hate your board.

>>8053258

Pls no bully

>>8053258
>you can even touch to oven to feel the heat but don't go inside
> don't go inside

>>8053258
kys

>>8053258
What am i reading?

>>8053258
I'm laughing by myself in public like a fucking retard

>>8053258

I laughed, I cried. Have an upvote.

>>8053258
10/10 i'm glad you're here

>>8053258
Holy shit, I just noticed that the steps in this recipe never says to add the cheese. I was too distracted by all the other shit.

>>8053258
>no mention of adding cheese in the recipe
i'm onto you OP you piece of shit

>>8053258
>we tip with a rip

>>8053258
Thank you for the laugh, OP.
Seriously 10/10

>>8054070
i feel like a reoccuring theme in your life is constantly outdoing yourself but still feeling like a failure

>>8055503
get the fuck out gyaru slut

>>8053258
>People are still replying to this post

11/10 opie you don me proud boi

>>8053258
I should've replied earlier but. Jesus Christ I can't believe this is real

>>8053258

How can anyone think an 8 year old is such a baby?

Further proof that /ck/ is the best board on this entire site.

>>8053258
>(IF YOU USE PRE GRATED YOUR BULLY WAS RIGHT!)

OP my sides hurt more than your brother's kid after his bully pounded him.

>>8053258
>IF YOU USE PRE GRATED YOUR BULLY WAS RIGHT!
Not inaccurate

>>8053237
>he called the writing style 'inappropriate'
he sounds like a little fag, not surprised he's getting bullied

>>8056613
His brother said that, not the kid.

>>8053258
Why not wonderbread though?

>>8053258
paging reddit

>>8053258

wow this thread lame af

>>8053258

>People think OP is being genuine about this whole thing

Ya'll need to lighten up this is hilarious

Fuck me OP, I laughed.

Add a bread recipe that he can work out his aggression on when he sees it.

>>8053258
>YUMMY
>YUMMY

>>8053237
When I was young I was groomed by my uncle to be a grill master. He started me off with Carne asada ranchera cut. He gave me the secret Hispanic seasoning list then taught me how to set up maintain and grill the meat. Carne asada is a thin price of meat double so ranchera style mainly meant to be cooked hot and fast. After grilling that for a year I moved onto chicken quarters which taught technique. Crispy browned skin and nicely juicy meat is extremly hard to do. You can cook this over a medium heat turning often or render the skin for 4 minutes then cook it opposite of coals and smoke it for 50 minutes. Or you can do it my personap favorite wau grilling medium low. Slowly render the skin flip and cover flip after 15 minutes or so cover for 5 be careful of skin burning and maintain your heat. Keep flipping cooking on a low heat. It is optional to ads woodchips while cooking covered for a slight smoke flavor.

Steak was surprisgly easy, know how much medium is add or subtract for varyING levels of doneness.

Sausages are hard medium heat to cook to have nice crispy skin without tearing the casing alot of care needed to cook these. I would even go medium low as you are learning.

Introduce to grilling a great skill easy fun tastes great my wife loves my meat in bed and out one of the reasons how I caught her.

Your mileage may vary I cooked around 50 pounds of meat every Sunday and grilled every 2 days since age 6-30.

>>8053258
There's no way someone could be this autistic. he's not an infant anon.

>>8057144
Damn man. I hope you pass down those skills through some method.

>>8053258
>DADDY HAS TO TOUCH ALL THE HOT STUFF

H-how lewd, anon!

>all these dumb fuck reaction images

This is on Reddit right now isn't it.

>>8053237
Easy one OP. Find out the kids favorite meal and make it well but keep it simple.

Mac and Cheese isn't the kind of food you use to cheer a kid up. You use ice cream for that. Although personally, were it my kid, I'd have him fight back, and then reward him with ice cream when he gets a suspension for "fighting" (schools these days will suspend people for fighting even if they don't throw a punch, due to zero tolerance policies, so there is zero advantage to not fighting back).

>>8053387
Bro that video goes from cringy to dank as fuck out of no where.

>>8057144
>When I was young I was groomed by my uncle
I was expecting this to go in a very different direction.

>>8057144
>wisdom

>>8057695
This is actually the correct answer.

>>8054917
top right looks like anne frank

>>8057695
If I had a kid I dont want to raise him here

>>8053258
how to spot a furry weeb pedophile.jpg

>>8053258
Screen cap me boi

>>8053258
73rd!

>>8056664
This face haunts my thoughts and dreams

>>8053258

Drunk and laughed my fucking ass off. God damn OP 10/10 best thread on /ck/ in a while.

Too many replies added?

>>8053258
why does this have so many replies? it's not that funny

>>8059040
Because /ck/ is scraping the bottom of the barrel for anything remotely funny.

Also people born around or after the year 2000.

>>8059022

>so many replies
>mine is left out

Fucking dick

>>8059100
Which one was it?

>>8053258
put me in screencap pls

>>8059100
>>8059113
Make your own you dumb lazy faggots, how stupid are you?

>>8059112

The one with the potato and laptop, but don't bother, it won't be the same anyway.

>>8053258

This is beautiful OP, have you considered writing professionally? Everyone from survivor's guilt sufferers to rape victims could really benefit from your therapeutic recipes

>>8059152

>if you fail again your rapist was right

>>8059136
Just for you anon

>>8056613
>>8056629
Then with a faggot father like that it's no surprise he's getting bullied.

>>8059220

I guess bully was right after

>>8053258
part of this fucking thread

>>8053258
Toasting in epic bread

Is there any fitting name for this recipe?

>>8061131
Macaroni and Cheese

>>8061131
Bully Mac

>>8053245
Rolling

They shouldn't teach their child to use food as a way to comfort bad feelings, thats how pretty much everyone who is obese got obese. And when you get obese you get sadder which means you need to eat more to comfort yourselves. He should rather make his son use excercise as a way to cheer him up. Any sport or any healthy activity that makes him focus on that activity instead of his sad feelings.

>>8061131
Baked Macaroni with garlic and a sauce of milk with lumps of flour in it. (Pepper optional)

>>8053258

This is almost like the /r9k/ tendies posts.

>>8062783
What's that one?

>>8053258
Put me in the screencap too, fucking reddit.

>>8053258
Hello to all screencap viewers

chickenfingers
some basic deepfryed potatos

>>8053258
what in gods name

>>8053258
>Throw the Macaroni in the boiling water! Throw it so it splashes like your bully splashed you with toilet water!

>>8059040
It's carried by the bit about freshly grated parmesan. Without it it would be nothing more than cringe.

>>8053258
jesus desu