/ck/ - Food & Cooking

If the Maasai, Tutsi, and Nuer can grow taller than six feet and stay fit eating nothing but milk with no meat or veggies, why shouldn't I do the same?

>>7828234

>I am here to teach you about food

Why do people with fancy degrees and 6 figure jobs think they know more about food and cooking than the food and cooking board? Just because you own high end appliances that you never use and go out every night for a $22 burger and a pint of Bud doesn't make you more knowledgeable than anyone else, except in the specific busy work/lab rat thing you do all day to get paid. You've already made that abundantly clear in the OP.

>>7828271
He doesn't even have the degree or the fancy job. He's a student in the science math engineering and tech department at his university.

Since he's a college student he probably can't afford a $22 burger or even legally drink the pint of bud.

>>7828234

When did you realise your parents hate you and your flamboyant faggotry?

>>7828234
>Ingredients:
>nonfat milk
>milk fat

>>7828234
if i were to hack you to death with an axe, how many lbs. of meat would your body ultimately yield?

>>7828234
>"Ever heard of dihydrogen monoxide? It's in your food!"
>linking to rationalwiki
m8 it's like you are a caricature of a turboautist STEMlord

How much do you know about sugar?

I try to avoid it, but it's annoying, and I sort of miss dessert

I'm pro-science but that doesn't mean I'm pro-garbage.

>>7828285
to control the amount of fat present in the ice cream

>>7828271
>STEM
>six figure job
You fell for the memes, hard
Most STEM majors are too autistic to pass an interview

You know things are bad when Pajeet from IIT, with his British Empire military moustache and kindly do the needful, is less out of touch and creeps out the womenfolk less than a guy who graduated from Florida State with a degree in video game design

>>7828308
That's my face when as well.

>>7828318

I probably somewhat rebelled against my dad, who majored in physics and engineering (and started his own consulting company dealing with startup companies making high end medical equipment, meaning he spent half the time jetsetting around the world), who told me I could be anything I wanted to be, by getting a hardcore liberal arts degree.

I'm also too autistic to talk my way into a job I'm not qualified for, have no marketable skills, and have literally become a millennial statistic. But hey, at least I know how to cook.

>All these mad faggots

I have a STEM degree. My degree is in Soil Microbiology. If you can't see how that makes me a better cook than you, let me spell it out. Don't get too MUDdled up now ;).

The very best cooking is done with fresh produce. Fresh vegetables. Fresh fruit. Let me ask you- where do potatoes grow? Where do bananas grow? Where does Radish grow? Where do carrots grow? In the ground. In the mud. In the soil. They are effected by the soil and, therefore, so is the eventual flavor profile of the dish. Have you ever bitten into a potato and it tasted earthy? That has never happened to me. I can identify earthy taste just by looking at a potato because I have studied the effects of soil for my entire life. I can identify over 90 kinds of soil borne diseases in fruits and vegetables. I can virtually guarentee that the majority of you are eating potatoes which have 'Paddies Plague', a deadly disease from the times of Irish potato famine that causes potatoes to take on 'potato pus'. You don't understand soil so you can't identify it, and your potato based dishes taste like fucking shit as a result.

So go ahead. Tell us again how STEM isn't the best degree for cooking food. Throw another rotten carrot in that soup; Toss another worm infested apple into your pie. Meanwhile I will be using the highest quality ingredients from the worlds best soil patches.

Oh, and I work for a major fast food chain identifying potatoes for their fries. So I get paid handsomely. So nobody on this board has any dirt on me. I could buy and sell pretty much everyone here because of the way STEM effects my cooking. The only STEM degree that doesn't make you a better chef is Nuclear Engineering. And that is only because they like their Japanese beef extra well done!

>>7828234
>The fact is, if you read the ingredients and decide not to buy something because it has a scary name, this makes you a chemophobe:
What if I read the ingredients and decide not to buy something because I don't know what's in it?

Because I do that and you can't stop me.

>>7828362
Is this 'opy 'asta?

>>7828456
If it's not on the list of ingredients, it's not in it.

>>7828362
no offense but that was a pretty loam rant

not calling you a paid silt but it seemed like pasta

>>7828234
This is clearly bait, he hasn't even responded to anyone.

>>7828473
meaning, they can read the name but they don't know what it is. the list is there but it doesn't provide the necessary information

I feel so bad for smart people. They feel so accomplished and self righteous but everyone around them is a goddamn idiot who doesn't even care about how stupid they are/how smart someone else is.
You're just shouting into the void, dude, no one cares. Sorry.

>>7828362

guess Mom still hasn't finished making his grilled cheese and chocolate milk so he has to kill some time posting on /ck/

>>7828514
It's not meant to be a dictionary.

>>7828523
yeah, it's not

>>7828362
From one Biology major to another, are you referring to Phytophthora infestans? 'Paddie's Plague' isn't exactly a specific term, especially when there are multiple fungal species that cause potato blight.

>>7828514
That's not really an excuse when you have the entirety of the internet in your pocket.

>>7828564
don't know about the original anon who posted but I don't get internet on my phone, it's wifi only, so that's not really an option in store. nor is it for people who go at busy times of day and can't block the aisle.
also no one really needs an "excuse" not to buy something they don't want to buy.

>>7828564

Why would I want to whip my phone out to google stuff while I'm at the store? It's rude as fuck for me to be standing there getting in people's way. Get in, grab what you need, get out. Or are you one of those people who don't give a shit about inconveniencing others?

>>7828582
Bad excuses all around. Unless the aisles are wide enough only to accommodate 1 person at a time you're not blocking anything.

>>7828582

You are inconveniencing all of /ck/ by posting from a cellphone.

>>7828594

No, you're just so self-absorbed in your precious little phonie that you are oblivious to your rudeness.

>>7828618
Excuses excuses

>>7828362
>the way STEM effects my cooking
Confirmed for STEMfag

>>7828270
I thought the Masai drink blood from their livestock ?

Thanks soil anon for the laugh.

OP on the other hand, I can heartily recommend suicide to.
People like him consider themselves so great for studying STEM, that all scientific mysteries are an open book to them, who hopes the unwashed masses will prostrate themselves before him for knowing basic 1st grade chemistry.
Having completed highschool isn't something I'd wave my dick around for and will probably spread more misinformation with his half-assed understanding of biochemistry.

I study food technology and you don't see me making shitty threads about that, now do you?

On the other hand, this is likely a bait thread

>>7828362
>Where do bananas grow?
>In the ground. In the mud. In the soil.

My non-STEM ass doubts this.

>>7828234
How much roasted garlic is too much in my spaghetti sauce?

>>7828271
You sound stupid and American

>>7828362
How do you feel about your existence being rendered obsolete with shit like hydroponics, aeroponics, and vertical farms being our future?

>>7828362
>durr I needed to go to four years of school to be able to tell the quality of produce
Holy shit you're a fucking moron

>>7828234
https://www.ted.com/talks/william_li?language=en
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5wfMNNr3ak
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go_QOzc79Uc

There are lots of reasons I choose to eat things that more closely resemble natural food over soylent green or soylent the actual meal replacement. Least of which is by your own science, humans have evolved over the course of history, in small ways at the very least, to eat things that grow and live on this planet, not shit you make in a lab and add to food that was fine the way it was.

Eat garbage, I don't give a shit.

>>7828362
>I can virtually guarentee that the majority of you are eating potatoes which have 'Paddies Plague', a deadly disease from the times of Irish potato famine that causes potatoes to take on 'potato pus'. You don't understand soil so you can't identify it, and your potato based dishes taste like fucking shit as a result.
What the hell is "Paddies Plague" - are you talking about potato blight because I have never heard this name before.

Potato pus? What?

Also, you don't need to know about soil to identify phytopathogens based on morphological characters or DNA barcodes.

I find it difficult to believe you have a degree, let alone one majoring in microbiology.

Fresh produce that isn't decaying or infected with disease is good? Wow, who would have thought.

>>7828362
holy shit you are a massive fucking retard

just kill yourself already

The only meat I eat is canned anchovies and salmon. Is it dangerous in terms of mercury or BPA?

The only other animal product I consume is milk and cheese, any dangers there?

In the USA, btw.

>>7830313
Mercury fears are overblown

>>7828234
Is it wise to mix amphetamines with food?

>>7830877
I wonder who could be behind this post.
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>>7830313
No.

>>7828270
The maasai are vegetarians...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpzICbEqIAA

35:00 see all those cows, you think they're for decoration?

36:50 you see them killing that goat?

Fuck out of here with your misinformation.

>>7830313
The amount of mercury in fish is pretty low.

When you're considering mercury realise that predatory fish that eat other fish will have the highest concentrations, tuna etc.

I remember reading that a guy got mercury poisoning from eating 10 cans a week for 2 years.

If you're having fish once or twice a week you'll be fine.

>>7828362
>where do bananas grow?
>in the mud

>>7828234
Could you tell me why do they feed us this chemical ridden-GMO non-organic eggs? I see a lot of chemicals with complicated names I can't pronounce here. Nothing is safe anymore.

How do you compute the fundamental group of real projective 1-space?

>stem

>>7828346
Same, except it was my mom, she's a doctor, and I was smart enough to drop out before getting my English degree.

>>7828362
>Don't get too MUDdled up now
what are ya dropping big fat shits in ya pants or somethin?

>>7831005
Because liberals are afraid of facts
That's why they believe in global warming even though fully 7% of scientists remain sure that it has nothing to do with human activity

>>7831089
I'm not a math expert. But I'm pretty sure that means 93% of scientists believe the opposite :o

>>7828234
Fuck off Dude,I'm working on my Bachelors Thesis in Populationgenetics and Molecular Evolution right now,and even I am not as full of myself as you

I dont give a damn about whats in my food. I already breath the outside air which is far more poisonous than anything else in this damn earth. Well alright cyanide is worse for you.

>>7831089
kek, I got it

>>7828234
How do you feel about sucralose?

>>7828234
processed food is proven to be a whole lot less healthy plus its easy access garbage, i dont have to fear processed food to not enjoy it
as for chemicals i agree, it is a fobia. As long as it isnt a dangerous chemical or a flavour enhancer (tastes like shit) chemicals are ok

>>7828234
what do you think about companys that flood the market with cheaper transgenic produce and then agressively campain against the people who claim it tastes worse even tho in most cases it does taste worse?

>>7831280
Everything is processed. Forcing your kids to eat kale smoothies isn't going to make them any healthier. Vegan diets are a form of child abuse

>>7828234
>Rationalwiki
Literally kill yourself back to r*ddit.

>>7831477
>rational wiki
>bad
not everything is perfect, the only problem you could have with rational wiki is if you're a pollock. It's basically 90% amazing, the inverse of poes law.

Music Major here.

I'm better than OP.

>>7831280
I don't think you know what processed means.

>>7831463
>Everything is processed.
And everything is a chemical, too, right?

Kale is incredibly healthy. Nothing at all wrong with feeding that to your kids.

>>vegan diets are a form of child abuse
I agree. Nobody said anything about going vegan, anon. Just avoiding bullshit processed foods.

>>7831874
>Music Major
So sorry to hear

>>7831888
>And everything is a chemical, too, right?
Yes. Why are you asking this as if it's some kind of "gotcha" question?

OP has a point

>>7828234
Of course there's water in my food, silly OP.

>>7831898
Because it is a "gotcha" question. If your definition is so broad that it encompasses everything then it ought to be obvious that your definition is incorrect.

When non-autists hear the term "processed food" they assume it to mean foods that were industrially produced with artificial additives, rather than "durr, that carrot was processed because you pulled it out of the ground"

>>7831874
Is Taylor Swift a good musician? I can't tell.

>>7831908
>Misuse words because uneducated
>You're wrong because a lot of people are wrong!

>>7828234
You're literally stating nothing new. I hope you castrate yourself

>>7831913
Not sure. I'm a classical musician. I would have to look into it.

>>7831917

No, anon. It's misuse words because that's what most of society does.

You can keep trying to swim against the current if you want, but you'll figure out sooner or later that all you're doing is alienating yourself.

This is what drop-outs think intelligent people who made it through college sound like.

>>7831927
>Be wrong
>Defend being uneducated
>Can barely wrote a coherent sentence

KEK

>>7831940
>Can barely wrote
>>wrote

Indeed.

>>7828316
>STEM
Do you really need to push your stupid elitist shit on every board.

>>7831953
>A typo is the same as having shit sentence structure
>Accidentally pressing a button next to the one you meant to press is the equivalent of not knowing how to write a sentence.

>>7831968

You're still missing the point entirely, autismo-san.

Education has nothing to do with it. Instead, it's a matter of understanding that different groups of people use words differently. When dealing with the average person you ought to realize that their terminology may not be dictionary specific.

You wouldn't walk into a biker bar and say "Pardon me, barkeep. But could I trouble you for a pint of ale, please good sir", now would you? Same thing here. This isn't an academic paper. It's a bunch of shitposters and flakes on what I can only describe as the hairy asscrease of the internet. Do you think that they use the dictionary-correct definition of "processed", or do you think they use it in a different manner?

>>7831989
>Using the word processed correctly is for academic papers
What exactly is your arbitrary definition of processed?

>>7832000

It's not "my" definition, anon. That's the whole point, really. It's the one that society has arrived at collectively--the way that the word is generally used in the majority of conversations in this context.

And if you want to know what that is, you have only to scroll up and read it.
>>7831908

>>7832010
So you wouldn't consider bread and cheese processed foods by that definition?

>>7832028
That would depend.

If the cheese were made in the traditional manner (milk, rennet, and perhaps a mold culture if the cheese called for it) then no.

If the cheese were made using artificial cultures, synthetic texturing agents, binders, and whatnot then it would be processed.

Hence why something like "Kraft singles" would be processed cheese whereas Stilton is not.

Same with the bread: you mixing flour, water, and yeast then baking it? Not processed.

A factory using dough conditioners, preservatives, and stabilizers? Processed.

>>7832045
So what would you call the processing of milk/wheat to turn it into cheese/bread? If you wouldn't call the two most common processed foods processed what other word would you use?

How's working at McDonald's?

>>7832061
Cheesemaking
Baking

The point of the word "processed" in this context is to distinguish foods made in a basic or traditional process using simple ingredients from those using artificial enhancements which result in a fundamentally different product.

>>7832079
So transform a word with a general definition and a neutral connotation to a very specific one with negative connotation, then use a variety of very specific words to describe things that are no longer described by the transformed word?

>>7832089

Yep. Nobody said what people do makes sense, anon. All you can do is work with it.

>>7832103

It makes perfect sense. Which is more convenient in normal conversation:

"I don't eat processed foods"
>vs
"I don't eat foods which are made in a nontraditional manner that include artificial additives to offset shortcuts in their production"

>>7828234
STEM is a pretty broad category m8. What exactly qualifies you to teach anyone anything about food? I'm a STEM major too but my geochemistry degree doesn't mean I know dick about nutritional science.

>>7832119

What makes you think OP was a serious post and not obvious bait?

>>7831067
Home run Chippah!

>>7828318
Video game design degrees are garbage memes though

>>7832115
"I don't eat foods with artificial additives"
Wow that was hard. Let's just strip a word of its meaning and repurpose it to something ridiculous.

>propylene glycol.
yum yum antifreeze

>>7828362
Have another (You); you've earned it

>>7828234
Everyone knows dihydrogen monoxide is water, at this point.

You should have used "hydric acid". I only just learned that one myself so it's possible it's not as well known.

>>7828520
>grilled cheese and chocolate milk

That actually sounds pretty good right now.

>>7828234
Died laughing. Remember the radio show who said it was contaminating people's pipes? You'd probably enjoy the Klein Stine Website about what happens when it freezes. Not to mention the page looks just like it did in the 90's, and it's pretty epic!

>>7832028
>>7832000
Are you that guy who wanted dates on milk bottles to be banned so that it wouldn't trigger your autism?

>>7828362
Screencap'd for meme-posterity

>>7828362

Is this... fresh copypasta?

>>7833343
It's OC, which will become copypasta

Whether it's OC or not as copypasta depends on which board/site it appears on in the future

>>7828362
I don't think I have ever seen such a great shit post that garnered so much rage.

Congrats anon, I mean it.