/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Fuck off.

Looks good; would eat.

>>7235236
Just hit me, did he ever actually use his Shuns, and where the fuck did they go?

I don't know why he is pretending that he is going to eat healthy, but this recipe looks great. I would totally eat the hell out of all those.

>>7235236
>dat huge container of preminced garlic
>yet AGAIN a jar of HFCS salsa

Americans, man.

>>7235236

>Canned salsa
>Healthier than Guacamole

Guacamole has salt, garlic, avocado, lemon and some sort of chili...

I will admit that some of his food turns out fine, but it's still incredibly simple, and I don't mean in the good way. Why does someone who imparts no actual knowledge what-so-ever have their own relatively popular cooking show? The vast majority of his videos feature him mixing together pre-made food and barely cooking it.

Am I missing something? Are there people who need to be taught how to pour a jar of salsa over a block of cheese and dip their chips into it?

Why do so many people think cumin is an essential mexican spice?? It's an indian and mediterranean thing by far.

All that oil though.
The chicken is covered in oil and then put into a pan with more oil. Then the veg is sautéed in that oil to make sure you get the most oil possible.

>>7235343

I imagine your food tastes like shit honestly.

>you're going to call me fat or something

okay...

What's that sign behind jack, on top of the stove say? Is that supposed to be some sort of dig at youtube commenters?

>>7235344

I fucking love oil, but I would hardly call this a healthy recipe is all I am saying.

>>7235343
>eating healthy
>oil just pours out of it at the end
>"what you're doing is just basically sweating the vegetables"
>everything is visibly brown
>"it feels like eating raw vegetables"

jack never fails to crack me up

>>7235317
avocados have a lot of calories. salsa doesn't unless it has been loaded with sugar

>>7235298
in fairness, i googled up tostitos restaurant salsa. hfcs is not on the ingredients list. sugar is, however.

>yuropers not reading btfo again

>>7235359
>be American corn syrup
>get shot

>>7235236
My only critiques are:

Veg needed more time
Sure is a lot of oil for a healthy recipe
Should have cut the chicken into strips before marinade

At least the chicken looked cooked

>>7235368
there was still a fine line of pink in the middle :(

So is everything that is literally not undercooked by the king of cucks hailed the pinnacle of cookery nowadays?

>>7235236
Is Ja/ck/ a kike?

>>7235391
J U I C Y

Not really healthy at all. He'll eat at least five of those and it'll be easily over 1000 kcal.

>>7235352

Ah sorry, I thought you were one of those irritating Europoors who complain about regular portion sizes and whine about healthiness.

>>7235357

Calories are good for you... your body needs them to live. Avocado is one of the healthiest foods that exists brah... canned salsa is not.

>>7235422
>a metashitposting European shitposting about Americans shitposting about Europeans

Stop it already.

>>7235423
Canned salsa isn't bad if you get it with no sugar added.

>>7235320
>Are there people who need to be taught how to pour a jar of salsa over a block of cheese and dip their chips into it?
>posted on 4chan of all places

>>7235320
>Am I missing something? Are there people who need to be taught how to pour a jar of salsa over a block of cheese and dip their chips into it?

You really give the American lower and working class way too much credit.

>>7235423
pico de gallo is the way to go :^)

>>7235423
calories are healthy for you if you aren't fat you weirdo

>>7235320
>Am I missing something? Are there people who need to be taught how to pour a jar of salsa over a block of cheese and dip their chips into it?

American housewives and their cuck husbands. There are literally vast amounts of videos of people just opening cans and pouring them into a container and calling it cooking. See attached webm.

>>7235298
>Tostitos Medium Restaurant Style Salsa, 15.5 oz
>Ingredients: Diced Tomatoes In Tomato Juice, Water, Unpeeled Ground Tomatoes In Tomato Puree, Onions, Jalapeno Peppers, And Less Than 2% of The Following: Vinegar, Salt, Garlic Powder, Pectin, Cilantro, Sugar, Tomato Paste, Natural Flavors, Spices, Soy Lecithin. Contains Soy Ingredient.

>>7235468
Your point?

>>7235467
Honestly, I'd probably eat that thing. It's just tortilla, sauce, and cheese. It's like a really shitty "mexican" "lasagna". I really can't imagine it tastes bad.

Not sure what the fuck the milk was for though.

>eating healthy is not hard
>is fat

hmmmm

>>7235479
>Honestly, I'd probably eat that thing.
Of course you would. I wouldn't have expected otherwise.

>>7235485
While obviously not the case with Jack (we've all seen what he eats, who the fuck is he kidding), but you can eat healthy foods and still gain weight. You'd just have to eat a lot of it.

>>7235487
What the fuck am I looking at?

>>7235468
>contains Soy Ingredient

Why

>>7235488

Yeah but then it becomes unhealthy Anon. im pretty sure i could rot my teeth if i ate enough apples

>>7235488
How much celery do I need to eat to have hands as fat as Ja/ck/? Please respond

>>7235487
jesus. what video is this from?

>>7235489
Another meal you would "honestly probably eat".

>>7235489

his attempt at making something called 'general tso's chicken'. he ended up with one of those strange liquids that gets tougher the more pressure you add i think

>>7235500
Around a metric ton a day.

>>7235504
Oh, okay. You're retarded and can only think in extremes. I get it.

>>7235487
What is this from?

>>7235502
see >>7235505

>>7235507
Shit, I'll need to get a juicer. Any recommendations?

>>7235508
Why do you say that? Those are all taken from the channel we're talking about.

>>7235517
I think the most disgusting part of this honestly is the grunting and sounds of wet meat in the original video.

Does everything Jack makes have a fuck ton of meat in it? it seems all he fucking eats is meat. his farts must be fucking rancid

>>7235504
define famos

>>7235473
less than 2% sugar, no HFCS

not him but I thought it was pretty clear

>>7235521
200k+ subs, been on local news, been on national and international TV, has products in some US walmarts

Ja/ck/ is a faggot but a somewhat famous one

>>7235504

>>7235236
I think he's getting better.
Chicken was less pink than usual.

I imagine there is a smeary crust of food under his ring.

>>7235529
Honestly it is from doing it for so long. he's been active for like 7-8 years

>>7235517
It's so... rubbery...

JUST

>>7235537
iirc he did say he got a skin infection under it once

>>7235537
I hate Jack but I do love the way he cracks eggs because I know how hard people sperg out over it

>>7235236
>allthe vegetables have a french

what did he mean by this???

>>7235558
why does he do it that way?

>>7235561
>French
it's a method of slicing vegetable.
You don't think French fries were invented in France do you?

>>7235467
there's twice as much cheese as there is meat

>>7235487
lol doesnt know how to cornstarch

>>7235509
>>7235502
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9kwmXwLTNo

>tries to make Yorkshire pudding
>ends up with fucking disks of batter
>forced to apologise

How he pronounces it triggers me too desu. id love to see him fuck up more British food like Toad in the hole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUMiZKyM6AA&index=8&list=PL2MtWCGs1N0SDBLK_qkOgNYcBjssh05Df

>>7235531

That pro michelin star cutting technique. One day he will cut them joints off.

>>7235504
>>7235511
>>7235517
>>7235537
>>7235548
>>7235573
>>7235600
beautiful

>>7235607
:o)))))))))))))))))

>>7235598
he nailed it..

>>7235236
Is that a hint of too rosy chicken I spot when he's plating? And he seems extremely down.

Did he have a heart attack or something? Is that why he's making "healthy food"?

>>7235616
>the way he closes his eyes and shakes his head
I hate him even more

>>7235617

Yeah Anon. Looks really fucking similar

>he doesn't double wield his kitchen knifes professionally

Tjabba sötisar. Vad gör ni _just_ nu?

>>7235236
>raw meat on a wooden board
>pan rocket hot, add veggies; calling it a sweat
>threw everything back on the same board probably haven't washed it yet

how is this guy popular?
should I film myself doing something I'm bad at to get that way too?

>>7235561
he said 'crunch'

>>7235634
A little dirt and flies in your food won't hurt you.

>>7235622
>slicing bacon lengthwise

>>7235581
you really think thats what this fucking mongoloid means?

really? you think he's refering to the cut of the veggies? you're dumber than that fat cuck

>>7235639
you're doing gods work, anon. keep it up, spread the gospel!

>>7235511
What the fuck is being made here

i really, really, really want to fist this man.

>>7235655
Ok, have one more, my friend ;o))

>>7235618
>Is that a hint of too rosy chicken

it's fine, for once

>>7235659
Why an American leftover stew of course.

>>7235659
hell

>>7235667
i thought americans throw leftovers in the trash

>>7235662
He made a blue rare burger.
Does he get so many hits because people just want to watch him fuck up? Most comments on his channel are negative apart from some retards typin lyk dis defending him

>>7235672
We should sign him up for masterchef USA

>>7235672
Stop

>>7235672
lol what the fuck

>>7235694
>anal prolapse

>>7235662
>Let me just destroy this bun with my gorilla hands and my blunt knife I don't know how to use.

No Jack, push it down harder. Get a fucking 10T press.

>>7235698

would be funny though, Imagine compressed fewds.

>>7235694
I've always wondered, but never wanted to give him another view: what did he do with the stick of butter covered in salsa water?

Honestly I thought you guys were being too harsh on this guy for just making some shitty meals on youtube. Until I saw that video of him on some religious talk show spewing his bigoted homophobic opinions. Then I realized what a piece of shit this guy really was.
Make all the undercooked, shitty meals you want but if you actually believe the Palestinians should be gassed and homosexuality is wrong then fuck you buddy. I honestly don't know why you guys keep watching his videos and giving him hits.
I'm pretty sure I remember some video of him talking to someone on skype about how history shouldn't be taught in schools.
This dude is a joke.

>>7235703

Think it is cream cheese

>>7235713
...I'm not sure that improves things, but what did he do with the cream cheese, covered in salsa water?

>>7235672

Every
Time

>>7235548
My sides are in orbit

>>7235662
I hope he knows that shit is raw, not rare or black and blue.

>>7235725
>I hope he knows that shit is raw

Have you ever seen any evidence that Jack understands what "undercooked" means?

>>7235616
Thank you for editing out the "tongue acceptance" he does before every bite. It's nightmarish.

>>7235718
that's the finished product. so called "dip"

>>7235236
It's still fucking under cooked!

>>7235236

Someone should tweet him with the question why he started a comedy cooking show.

>>7235735
>that's the finished product

Huh.

So...what am I supposed to do with it? Surely not stick chips in it and scoop up a lump of raw cream cheese and watery salsa?

>>7235744
I'm sure he would answer sincerely thinking you were talking about the stupid dad jokes he makes throughout the show.

>>7235753

Yeh true. Probably got to formulate that diffrent.

>Healthy eating from the man who is literally eating himself into the grave

top kek.

>i-it's healthy!!

>shit load of salt in the marinade
>way too much oil in the pan, practically deep frying the meat at this point
>adds MORE salt on the chicken in the pan
>greasy vegetables from all the leftover oil
>GREASE DRIPPING OUT OF THE FUCKING TACO

Holy shit, he WATCHES THE TORRENT OF GREASE LEAKING OUT OF THE TACO FOR A SOLID FIVE SECONDS BEFORE TAKING A BITE!

I'm by no means skinny, but I've lost 30 pounds over the past few months with some exercise and watching what I eat.

This guy's blood pressure must be through the god damn roof from all this shitty food he makes. Hasn't he mentioned he's diabetic, too? I guarantee he would die within a year if he wasn't on a cocktail of medications.

>>7235746
>raw cream cheese

>>7235773
Of course the mighty cu/ck/man is diabetic, his BMI is nearly 50

These threads scare me.

>>7235548
there's more to the recipe, r-right? No one can be that desensitized to taste, right guys?

>>7235774
Yes, as opposed to cream cheese that has been mixed with other ingredients and seasoning to make a, you know, dip.

Substitute the word "plain" if it hurts your autism too much.

>>7235790
>Mighty Cu/ck/man

You rang?

>>7235332
I'm hispanic and we eat a lot of cumin. In fact, my favorite snack is mango with pepper, cumin, a dash of salt and some powdered chile. Good stuff man, but I am not going to claim it's a latin spice, I'm just saying I use it quite a lot. I feel like something is missing without it.

>>7235236
He makes me sad :(

>>7235817
>being saddened by le epig meatball man

>>7235829

>>7235829
"And remember this: there is no more important safety rule than to wear these — onion goggles."

>make eggplant parmesan bites
>dont use any parmesan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe3rMW7t5IA

>>7235802
will remove that burr meng.

>>7235236
Tonight I'll slice the whole thing with faggot.

>>7235837
They are just asking for. Imagine that face when he's blowing you. Just when climax.

What did Jack Jr. mean by this?

>>7235849
kek

>>7235870
>popeye forearms
>actually round head instead of a cone
>cankles instead of cantelope calves
>massive FUPA instead of tapeworm-infested gut fat

Too many errors

>>7235837
kek, didn't he put that clip in his submission to food network for the next food network star shit?

What a retard

>>7235746
yes, yes you are

>>7235672
Or worst chef in america. That party cheese salad would kill Bobby Flay.

>only a few people in this thread notice the chicken isn't properly cooked and some people even think it looks good

as a long time food ja/ck/ i'm beginning to think the cuck DOES have bots posting his videos. this chicken is still pink.

>>7235911
>only a few people in this thread notice the chicken isn't properly cooked

It's Jack. We just take it as read that it's salmonella central. It'd only be post-worthy if he'd actually managed to cook it properly.

Jack is a shit cook but that looks pretty good tbqhwu senpai. Would eat.

>>7235911

naw babe i am no bot. I somehow cant stop watching this fucker. And desu. I havent even fully watched the vid before posting it here.

>>7235910
>kill Bobby Flay

Genius, we could both embarass Ja/ck/ on national TV, get him locked up for manslaughter, and kill Bobby Flay! Someone get on this.

>>7235889
DONT BLINK

>>7235940
When you stare into the abyss for long enough, it stares into you

>>7235829
I always feel a little sad for people like this.

You know, shrubs who are sure beyond sure they're the next big thing when in reality they're just sad losers who will never be more than what they are.

4chan is full of pathetic shits, but at least people here KNOW and ACCEPT being pathetic shits.

>>7235940
looks dry as fuck.

>>7235971
>using caps for slight emphasis of intonation when it's contextually obvious
learn how to not write like a faggot

>>7235997
>>>/b/

>>7235391
>>7235531
>>7235911
beautiful

>>7235573

>>7236005
nice /b/-tier meme, friend. it's obvious you are stupid so just go away.

>>7235236
>chicken is still slightly undercooked

goddamnit jack

>>7236012
8 out of 10 would eat

>>7235639
>>7235620
>>7235616
I don't know why but I hate his fucking handwork.

>>7235710
>my normie ass feels justified laughing at the lolcow because he offends my tender political sensibilities

wew lads it's like Chris chan all over again

>>7236036
>spurdo
>/b/

>>7236012

>a fat cook

>>7235595
Is this the first recipe he didn't fuck up on his first try cooking?

>>7235997
Nah, I'll type how I want.

Don't you EVER fucking reply to me AGAIN, got it...KID?

how does he undercook chicken every time

>>7236074
he very clearly fucked up with the amount of cornstarch what planet are you from

>Be a 17 year old shelf stocker at your local Wal Mart
>First job ever
>Things are going quite badly for you
>You are struggling
>You can't keep up with the work and are unable to prove yourself
>One day you come into work and discover that a virus has gone around and most of the staff are off sick
>The salsa and dips aisle is completely empty
>You are told you must restock the entire aisle by yourself
>You buckle up and realise this is the chance to prove yourself
>You stock every single brand of salsa in the warehouse
>It takes you all morning
>But eventually you are finished
>You have a beautifully stocked set of shelves
>Each brand of salsa has been completely replenished
>You take a step back proudly
>You have finally made it
>when suddenly
>You hear a breathing coming from behind you
>You turn
>You see that one of your colleagues left an egg out in the middle of the store
>Hang on
>that isn't an egg
>Its Jack Scalfani
>Jack approaches you
>'Excuse me, I need to get to the salsa'
>You watch as Jack begins to dissemble your creation like he is peeling the cheese away from a frozen pizza in another classic 'playing with your food' episode
>He takes an entire row of salsa and shoves it into his trolley
>'That'll be enough for the butter and refried beans salad tonight'
>turns
>clears another shelf
>'Jack Jr's lunch just needs some bread and meat now'
>walks over to the low fat
>takes all of it
>'This'll go healthy with some tinned pumpkin pie filling'
>You continue to stare open mouthed and powerless
>Jack turns and sees you
>Opens a jar of salsa from the shelf
>sticks his hand in and pulls out a handful of salsa
>Takes a bite out of it in slow motion and smiles
>'Beautiful'
>you look around at your destroyed work
>the only salsa remaining is the brand that Jacks wife used to throw at him when she beat him, he didn't take it due to memories
>as Jack walks around the corner he looks at the destroyed aisle and laughs 'I hope one day Palestine will look like this'

>>7235997
ur the fag~~

>>7235774
which podcast is this?

If you are canadian and want to get triggered here is Jack fucking up poutine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJnH-t9GiLs

>>7235940
that is really fucking disturbing on some level

>>7236117
How do you manage to fuck up poutine

>>7236172
undercook the fries
room temp gravy from a can
put cheese curds on last

pretty easy to fuck up if ur retarded