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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6738450 No.6738450[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

can we get a guy thread?

>> No.6738454

Ha, watching Triple-D right now.

>> No.6738456

>>6738450
guy fieri is the antichrist

>> No.6738458
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6738458

>>6738450

>> No.6738460

>>6738454
Same here, fuck /ck/ and the haters.. This is the comfiest show ever right behind mst3000

>> No.6738461
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6738461

>>6738454
anon you in flavortown

>> No.6738475
File: 135 KB, 407x750, sage.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6738475

>>6738450
unloaing

>> No.6738477
File: 41 KB, 500x353, blowme.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6738477

>>6738450

>> No.6738478
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6738478

>>6738450

>> No.6738485

>Hear about the new Triple D episode and how its going to be filmed in my town
>On the day of, you can here the sound of a massive big rig coming
>Like the kind of big rig from Sonic Adventure that runs down the hill and destroys everything in it's path
>It rams into tons of homes and small business
>No one survived, nothing left in his MONEY wake
>It comes to a halt just outside the diner he's about to eat at
>He stumbles out, along with various bottles of rum, vodka, whiskey, etc, smashing at his feet, you can see him hold back his tears and vomit as hard as any human could
>He turns to the camera

"HEY GANG, JUST ROLLED IN ON MY FLAVOR RIG, NOTHING TOPS THAT BAD BOY IN MEAT-SMOKIN' HORSE POWER. TODAY, WE'RE GONNA RUMMAGE THROUGH THIS LITTLE SWEET JOINT OF A DINER AND TASTE US UP SOMES OH THAT FRESH-FROM-THE-OVEN HOME-COOKIN' LOVE-FOOD! COME ON IN Y'ALL AND LETS MEET THE OWNERS!"

>The cameras turn off and he turns to go inside
>He doesn't so much walk as he does a ghostly slide into the diner; you can just tell his soul is all but shriveled and gone
>I do the smart thing and head back home, all the while I can hear the sobs and wails of family members rushing to see their newly deceased
>I lay in my bed thankful for big papa Guy gracing my village with his presence
>Open my computer and shitpost on /ck/ about fast food and how to properly wash a cast iron with steel wool until I lull myself to sleep

>> No.6738489
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6738489

>>6738450

>> No.6738499
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6738499

>> No.6738502
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6738502

>>6738499

>> No.6738511
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6738511

>>6738450

>> No.6738514
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6738514

>>6738450

>> No.6738519

>>6738450

I know you're just making fun of him but I genuinely like Guy Fiery.

>> No.6738520
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6738520

>>6738450

>> No.6738523
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6738523

>> No.6738526

>>6738520
oh men that's a rare one

>> No.6738532

>>6738523

He's got a weird thumb

>> No.6738535

>>6738532
i can bend my left thumb backwards until it touches my arm

>> No.6738539
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6738539

>>6738450

>> No.6738540

>>6738535

You've got an even weirder thumb

>> No.6738543
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6738543

>> No.6738557
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6738557

>>6738450

>> No.6738566

>>6738543

>tfw you'll never get to party with Guy at a live concert of Smash Mouth at a beach

>> No.6739257
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6739257

>>6738450

>> No.6739409

>>6738456

You missed the train to /hsg/, friend.

>> No.6739523
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6739523

LISTEN HERE YOU MOTHER FUCKING COUCH WORMS. I'M GUY FAT-YETI AND TODAY ON TRIPLE D, WE AREN'T JUST EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO FUCK IT TOO IF WE CAN. I'M TALKING ABOUT A GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED RUB DOWN OF GRUB TOWN AND I DOWN MEAN THAT BOTTLE OF BAD DRAGON LUBE YOU HAVE ON YOUR NIGHT STAND. I'M TALKING ABOUT CHICKEN FIRED PORK WINGS, A DISH YOU CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND BECAUSE I JUST DISCOVERED IT. TAKING THE CAMERO AROUND THE BLOCK AND ENDING UP EATING THE GNARLIEST, THE TASTIEST CUISINE THIS SIDE OF FLAVORTOWN DISTRICT USA

>> No.6739530
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6739530

NOW I'M NO STRANGER TO SHOVING THINGS IN MY MOUTH, OR MY ASS FOR THAT MATTER BUT I KNOW FOOD. YOU FAGGOTS THING THIS SHIT IS A GAME BUT I'M HERE TO PROVE YOU MONGRELS WRONG. I'M HERE IN ALABAMA, THE HOME OF DEEP-FAT FRIED OCEAN CRITTERS AND I CAN'T WAIT TO OPEN MY THROAT AND SLIDE ABOUT 3 DOZEN PETROL-SOAKED CRITTERS DOWN MY FOOD TUBE. WE'RE TALKIN' SHRIMP, AND I DON'T MEAN THE TINY THINGS, I'M TALKIN' BACON WRAPPED, I'M TALKIN' RANCH SMOTHERED, I'M TALKING BBQ SAUCE DUNKED NUGGETS OF FUN JUST WAITING TO BE TURNED INTO FECES AFTER 18 COORS LIGHT AND SOME MILD DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

>> No.6739540
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6739540

I'M OVER HERE ON THE FLAVORTOWN DOCKS THROWING ROCKS AT SEAGULLS. NOW I HAVEN'T HIT ANY SO FAR, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THIS JOINT CAN'T DO IT FOR ME, OR, MAYBE HIT MY TASTEBUDS WITH SOME REAL ROCKS OF TASTY HASHBROWN ENCRUSTED FISH. THIS PLACE HAS IT ALL: GARLIC STUFFED CLAMS, PAINTED WITH PORK GRAVY. A BOWL OF NACHOS THAT'S SERVED WITH A SIDE OF CHERRY JELLITIN; PORK ASPIC COOKED RIGHT IN. OR MY PERSONAL FAVORITE; A TRADITIONAL STEW OF PIGS FEET, PLUMS, SPAGHETTIOS AND DARK CHOCOLATE, BROUGHT OUT WITH A PLATE OF BALLED UP TISSUES JUST TO HELP WITH THE PAIN