/ck/ - Food & Cooking

prolly ur mums twat

>>6697615
Edgemotron 9001 up in here

your mothers fishy cunt

>>6697610
Imagine the palest, saddest, soggiest focaccia dipped in Hidden Valley Ranch dressing.

I guess my life has been pretty great to be able to say those were the worst few days of my life. Better than spending time in jail or homeless or whatever rock bottom is for some people.

i had a can of manwich sauce, but no meat to go with it. so i used black beans in lieu of meat.

no buns either. just stale bread ends.

>>6697631
Man that's depressing
>>6697627
Holy shit
How'd you get to that point?

I was really hungover during thanksgiving day and I didn't want to talk to my parents because of reasons so I spent the entire day drinking ice water and for dinner I had a tuna+mayo+mustard sandwich on white bread.

>>6697610
A gun.

Probably the 3 days I spent living on granulated gravy

>>6697707
You ate a whole gun? Usually people just go for lead with some light copper jacketing.

>>6697707
you know that's just one of those non functional garnishes, right?

>>6697707
Hopefully it was american

Out of date pasta noodles with a can of hormel chilli poured on top. Tap water to wash it down.

>>6697684
How did you eat that hung over?

>>6697737
I live in a area where the tap water isn't bad at all. Where do you live?

Nothing. I once had to go 3 days with nothing except water. I put some salt in a glass of water at one point to keep some electrolytes in my system.

stale bread and a thin layer of mayonnaise.

>>6697742

had to eat something and there was nothing left in the fridge

>>6697756
Man that made my stomach uneasy

You sound like a fluffy priveleged little faggot
>pic related, it's you.

>>6697758
Uhh who was that to?

>>6697767
ur mom

>>6697773
>>6697773
Woah tough guy on the internet

Tortilla with craft ranch dressing

for some reason whenever i eat a hot dog with a slice of bread instead of a bun it makes me feel like a complete failure at life.

Ive had my fair share of depressing dinners

>head of Romain lettuce with vinegar
>grilled cheese made with one Kraft single and bread ends
>can of tuna and saltines

but for some reason the sight of a microwaved hotdog lying in that bread taco makes me feel things i try to forget about.

>>6697789
I do this thing where I put hot dog on a plate, cover it with cheese and onions and stick it in the microwave for a minute. Then take it out put it on a piece of normal bread and add ketchup. I don't know why, but onions in the microwave are dope.

>>6697796
try mixing lightly microwaved onions in with your burger meat before you grill it.

>>6697610
Food's never been depressing to me; it's the best part of my life.

>>6697813
would you?

>>6697815
Nah; not unless I've exhausted every option and got stuck somewhere.

>>6697815
Eat bread? Yea why?

foods is always good, the depressing thing is when i want and need to eat but i cant, and its because of the babadook.

>>6697813
Have you ever eaten the same thing more than two days in a row at the same time of day each time?

>Polish sausage split in half, cross-hatched, and seared
>Overcooked scrambled eggs with onions and bell peppers

>Ate it for breakfast 3 days in a row. I have another 5 sausages... By the third day, I got an overwhelming sense of pic related
>didn't even eat food the fourth day...

>>6697815
w-what
is there a story to this

>>6697829
Never really make large batches of food, maybe I've eaten the same food for every meal for a day but that's about it.

ketchup sandwiches

>>6697832
Its bread

>>6697833
I didn't make them all. The rest are still in the fridge uncooked as well as the eggs and the other stuff...

I'm on a paleo diet, and I don't have many options.. I hate mushrooms, and I can't eat dairy at all... That's a shit ton of things crossed out off the bat. So yeah...

>mfw family and friends encourage me to cheat on my diet

slowcooker salsa chicken

>>6697872
You know you've hit rock bottom when you cook the shit Ja/ck/ makes...

One of my friend seems to love shitty food, thus he invented the poor mans tuna sandwich.

>Step one get stale bread
>Step two open a can of tuna, with water added if possible
>Step three put tuna on bread
>Step four eat.

I have seen him eat this multiple times while drinking livewire mountain dew that expired around 2012

>>6697610
/ck/'s own ramen noodle sundae. The hype was followed by a huge letdown when I actually made my own.

>>6697615
this is so juvenile but I kek every time

i ate domino's on thanksgiving since i was away for university. first thanksgiving without family was sad

manager's special discounted breakfast sausages on bread that was in my freezer for weeks thawed out, toasted, and served with honey mustard

White rice with peanut butter and tomato sauce. I used peanut butter 'cause I had no other protein available to me at the time. There were a few days when all I ate was white rice and black beans. Fortunately I had some cumin and other seasonings for the beans but it got old real quick.

>>6697610
When my girlfriend dumped me, I had 3/4ths of a bottle of tequila, three beers, and two packs of cigarettes.

>>6697954
Cigarettes taste like shit anon, what did you cook them with to make them palatable?

a few sips of a coworker's flat fresca from the breakroom fridge

didn't have change for the vending machine

Uncooked steelcut oatmeal

>>6697707
was it tasty?

stale hard white bread with bbq sauce on top. another was a freaking stale brandy biscuit edible bowl and a mouthfull of shredded dried stale coconut....just the freaking bowl. Another was ice from the side of the freezer. This was when i was poor on benefits. no wonder i have a food hoarding problem now heh.

>>6697619
That's not even edge, retard.

pizza rolls topped with cheese and pepperonis

>>6698606
I'm so glad summer is almost over.

>>6698618
>he says as he posts a tumblr gif
leave

Toast sandwich

If you pretend hard enough, it's almost like you're eating a breaded chicken sandwich

>>6698620
The joke
---------------
Your head.

Go away special student timmy. Take your helmet with you.

>>6698625
>I was only pretending to be from tumblr!

>>6698642
>I'm meme texting to think I'm not summer.

>Roast beef ramen noodles
>Small bag of doritos
>Sprite

>>6698646
>2015
>summerfags pretending not to be summer

shiggy diggy, i tell ya what

>>6698651
>let me keep using meme and meme phrases

>>6698655
Why aren't any of your images from this website?

>>6698659
I bet this is you.

>>6698662
Why aren't any of your images from 4chan?

>>6698665
>hurr images can only be found on 4chan.

>>6698670
I mean, if you're actually a long term user of this website, you should have plenty of images saved from here, right?

>>6698674

>>6698676
nice non-4chan image, summerposter

I had a couple of bags of flour, baking powder, a can of shortening, and salt. I made biscuits with water and shortening instead of milk and butter. They were my only food source for three weeks straight. Eventually my gf at the time bought me some groceries.

I still love biscuits and make them better than anywhere I've been because of that time, but that still sucked.

>>6698624
I'm actually sad now...

>>6697610
In college I once ate cheese and crackers for two weeks. To be fair, I had some of the nicest cheeses you could get at a Kroger, and a fairly wide array of crackers.

>>6698624
That's it. I can't think of a sadder, more depressing thing to eat.

For me: I go to a sushi restaurant that seems to have a casual atmosphere. I get an order of Salmon Nigiri. Little did I know, they charged by the piece and not by orders. After making a $10 order, the waitress comes back with a single piece of sushi. I wanted to cry. I didn't know this was the kind of place where they expect you to spend $100 in one meal.

>>6697610
there was a two year span of time when my family (i was probably 6 or 7) had nothing but buttered egg noodles and shared a single baked potato every night.

rough times, but i'm a better person because of it.

>>6698712
A toast sandwich can actually be pretty good if you butter it as much as a real britbong would.

>>6698734
>but i'm a better person because of it.

People who become better people from things don't tell others about how they're better people

>>6698738
all i meant is when my current family (wife and son) are down on our luck, i know i can pull through.. even it it means eating egg noodles.

perhaps you need some therapy? sounds like you need to work through some things yourself anon.

i also was referencing a time when my shitty father in law kept saying how poor he grew up and how we should all feel bad about it... then i told him that story.
>i'm a better person because of my experience
>what's your fucking excuse.
oh btw, he's a total piece of shit.

/blog

>>6698737
Britbongs know shit about food, no amount of butter can save you from the despair of a toast sandwich. I couldn't see a toast sandwich coming from any other country.

Single sunny-side up egg and an undercooked baked potato.

>>6698724
That's bad but not to bad if it's a nicer cheese

>>6697828
W-what? What's the babadook?

>>6697610
bread and mayonaise
it's been all I've eaten for three days

the result of my credit card being frozen when in poland

Barbicue sauce on wonderbread this was after I was laid off with no severance pay and looking for a job

>>6698757
>2015
>being this gullible
>lacking awareness
What is it like in your world?

>>6698757
I left britain in two days because the food was so bad

even the ethnic food was sub par

>>6697866
stir fry the mushrooms with some onions. eat over spaghetti squash. boom paleo.

>>6698729
get up and leave without eating any of it.

>>6699178
why insult them, they think their food is worth that much, evidently some customers do as well
not the restaurants fault that anon just stumbled in

>>6697839

No its not, its real

I was the security guard for a tech firm for a while' they paid me so little and yet the cost of living was so high in that area that I literally could not afford to eat lunch at all, or sometimes not even dinner.

A couple of times my dinner was what I stole from the pantry they kept loaded in their break room. A bag of chips, a pack of crackers, a donut from the box they left after the morning meeting.

a can of cheap sardines

Hot gatorade and a tortilla with peanut butter. To be fair though, hot gatorade is a fucking godsend when you've been canoeing in 40° and rain all day.

>>6698960

DOOK DOOK DOOK

>>6698624
>bashing British cuisine this hard

>>6699329
Was it worth being able to sit on your ass all day, though?

>>6699545
Most security jobs require standing for several hours at a time. The shitty ones anyway...
Then on the opposite end you have those lucky faggots who sit looking at cameras and shitposting all day.

About four months after I got out of the military I hadn't found a job yet. For four weeks all I had was a case of ramen noodles and a box of mres

>>6699259
Quit lying.

>>6697610
lunchmeat and lettuce

mom was sick and we were running out of food

kept thinking about it when "galloning" got popular on youtube

sadface

>>6698624
what the fuck this is an actual thing?

>>6699625

Yes. Famous in England apparently. Google it.

Ketchup packet soup (ketchup mixed with water) eaten out of a cdr spindle lid.

some cold steak on steak and a blowjob day after my girlfriend cooked it for me, told me she had an abortion, threw tea over me and left forever.

>>6697610

A slice of hard kraft cheese, an egg and the sauce out of "Bombay bad boy" pot nooble

>Fuck being poor again

>>6699776

Steak and BJ day sounds magical.. Kinda ruined with the whole abortion and getting tea thrown on you

You didn't even get the blowjob did you?

>Summer᤾2006
>Black out
>Very fucking hot night
>Food is gonna go bad so gotta cook it
>Ground beef, spiced terribly
>Stale tortillas
>Sitting in the dark eating awful slop
>want to die

>>6697610
White rice with butter. For almost three months.

>>6699776

>>6698624
>white bread
>not a wonderful luxury

>>6699789

nope. we pretty much started arguing as i sat down to eat.

i have experienced steaks, and blowjobs, but never steak and a blowjob day. bums me out.

>>6697610
there's depressing and then there's just plain retarded
why the fuck would you boil chicken in arizona tea let alone the peach flavored one?

>>6699259

Okay, it's real bread.

>>6699867
>and not in

Are you making a reddit-tier joke or just fucking stupid?

When I was in my early twenties, I had a room mate who quit his job and just sort of gave up on life for a few months
He subsisted this whole time almost solely on "chicken pot pie" he made from potatoes and strips of rolled-out dough that he cooked in water with chicken flavored boullion.

>>6697610

Possibly these pizza rolls and whiskey I had a while ago.

>>6699923
ok I'm the retarded one

>>6699522
>dook dook dook

>>6699949
I didn't boil it in it you dingbat

>>6699563
I know a guy with that job.
He plays WoW the whole time he's at work. He only leaves his desk for a smoke break.

>>6699603
this is real,
it was on the news a few years back newfag

Literally garbage

I got drunk so I raided papa johns dumpster got so much old pizza

Did it again recently found a bunch of bags of crazy bread from lil Cs

I found a giant bucket filled with pickle juice once though

>>6700837
I went back and read this after I posted

why does it sound fucking insane

>>6697610
Weetbix that I would run under the tap.

It made me reevaluate my life.

>>6700844
that's hilarious

it's because you're talking about getting food from dumpsters and giant buckets with pickle juice dude

>>6700914
fair enough


One time there was a giant bag filled with chipotle rice and garbage so I took it out of the dumpster and dumped it out for the birds and also because it was a huge pile of rice

Then there's that time we found like 5 bags filled with raw rolls from Texas Roadhouse so we started throwing them at the building


I'm a fucking ape when I'm drunk

I'm not even hungry when I do this i just don't care

>>6697829
Oh yeah, Christmastime one year my mom had to go out on conference and my dad was in charge of cooking. He comes home with a 120 pack of red chili pork tamales and we proceed to eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 4 days.

We had to beg him for a pizza by the end of the fourth. This was 10+ years ago and my brother still doesn't eat tamales

>>6697610
>Pic unrelated

Kill yourself.

>>6700922
I've never went out for drunken debauchery before. Usually I keep myself contained to a house or a bar.

Sounds like fun being a drunken idiot out n' about

>>6697610
>nothing
i've gone hungry especially when i was a child.
BOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!

>>6697722
fucking underrated post

>>6699329
Fucking SF

There was a time when I was all out of food and money. All I had was spaghetti and parsley.

I called it Pasta Parsley. I do not recommend it.

>>6701084
I found a bag of wheat vegan wraps in the trash once


I put old pasta sauce and parmasean on them and roll them up


It's truly terrible I keep eating them

I once had to live off of Italian flavored bread crumbs for a week. That ties with only having a few jolly ranchers for an entire weekend's worth of food due to a clerical error at my bank.

>>6699846

I feel your pain anon, abortions fuck girls up they get crazy. If it makes you feel better I'm listen to James blunt and Adele on repeat kinda similar situation, except no steak and an extra helping a crazy

>>6700940
>Edgelord

>>6699947
>pizza rolls
Fuck you, pizza rolls aren't depressing. Pizza rolls saved my life.

>>6698960
A shitty movie

a can of garbanzo beans right out of the can. drained of course. It was breakfast, and lunch.

>>6697829
one time when i was living on my own, i didn't have a job for about a month and a half and bought nothing but dried split peas. i ate that shit every day for that period.

>>6703365
>drained of course
You're disgusting. The beany water is half the charm of eating beans out of the can. You'd understand if you ever spent a day out in the hot summer sun only to relax in the late afternoon under a tree with a can of beans and a paperback.

>>6700903
Why would you do that anon? I don't understand.

>>6698757
Why do so many people (almost always Americans) see one exceptional example of a thing and then make the extraordinay leap to the conclusion that it must be representative of the entire nation that the example was found in? It's the laziest, most ridiculous "logic" ever, and don't say you were just pretending to be retarded because I know there are people who really think like that.

Someone made a toast sandwich as some kind of experiment or student lark and so that's representative of British cuisine now? Forget the fact that Britain has more types of cheese per person than any other country, or that they created a global trading empire to import ingredients and recipes from all over the world. Forget that some of the most famous and celebrated chefs in the world are British. Someone posted a picture of a toast sandwich on the internet so that's an indicator of the standard of food there.

Well that woman in the John Waters film Pink Flamingos eats a dog turd doesn't she? That was filmed in the USA, by Americans, so I guess it's safe to assume that dogshit is America's national dish, right? I could expect to be served a dog turd if I visited America? That's what the majority of Americans think is good food? Literal dogshit? And I can only assume they eat it all day because of the obesity problem over there.

Keep talking about our toast sandwich, dogshit eaters.

Last week of senior year of college I ate dino nuggets for four meals straight.

>>6703548
Bro I actually went to London once. British food is saltless bottom-of-the barrel lazy garbage.

>>6699771
Did nobody else notice this terribly depressing post

>>6703548
It's so funny watching Americans talk shit about other countries' foods, acting as if the food there is any better. Like look at all this crap >>6696910. Do they really think any of that is better than beans on toast or something? Jesus christ.

>>6703587
You went to London once and tried ALL the food in Britain in one trip? That's impressive.

I've lived in Britain all my life, have travelled to the states, and been to Germany, France and Spain. I don't claim British food is the best in the world just because the best food I've eaten was in Britain. Maybe the Spanish bar food that gave me food poisoning was a one-off. Maybe the oily, oversized pizza I had in the states isn't the only thing people eat over there. Maybe the stale bread and jam I was served for breakfast in Germany doesn't adequately reflect ALL of German cuisine.

What I'm saying is that you went to London ONCE and think you can tell us all about British food because you couldn't immediately find something you liked. You proved my point.

>>6700837

Sweet mercy, did I ever laugh.

>be sixteen
>family is poor as fuck
>almost literally no food in the fridge, just bread, bottles of sauce, and a couple odds and ends
>craving pizza
>ketchup and cheese on toasted stale bread
>tasted like shit

>>6703943
Another story.
>A few years later
>Just been dumped
>Wallowing in filth and binge watching anime to cope
>Family sits down and eats a meal of croquette rolls
>They look so happy
>Think eating some croquette rolls might cheer me up
>The bread we have barely crumbs at all
>The eggs are a bit old
>I overheated the oil
>When I pop one of my poorly rolled croquettes in the oil it goes crazy
>Burns on my arm
>Croquettes aren't solid enough and are falling apart in the pan
>The few that do come out are next to flavorless because I forgot to season them
>End up eating TV dinner while crying

one time I ate at denny's

>>6703943
>>6703957

holy fuck, buzzkillington..

>>6697954
T-that's not a daily diet?

>>6703548
Reminder

>>6697610
one time high i grabbed a potato, stuck it in the microwave, then held it in one hand and a ketchup bottle in the other and squirted some ketchup on it before taking a bite until i finished it

>>6704127
that looks delicious

I just had four freezerburned microwaved shrimp shumai and some grape kool-aid. I feel so hollow on the inside.

>>6704127
i feel like the most depressing thing about this meal is the off-center seasoning on the upper right quadrant

>>6704180
>quadrant
theres 3 fucking sections asshole

>>6704405
Came in her to post this

>>6704405

2 physical quadrants and 2 virtual ones, faggot