/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6616605

>>6616609
Same person
Forgot to edit name out of the first one. Oh well.

>>6616605
>bracing for the same 200 images
Lemme laugh at them again boys.

>>6616610
>20 lbs of starch and red meat
>1 spoon of green

Why even bother? Its basically a garnish.

>>6616605
That doesn't look that bad, are you bitter that she isn't your wife cooking for you?

>Fried potatoes and good looking chicken
What's the problem?
I'd kill for someone who'd make me proper fried potatoes.

>>6616636
proper? those potatoes look soggy and greasy. also, that chicken is burnt to shit.

>>6616645
I think you're exaggerating.

>>6616650
i think you have low standards.

>>6616645
Exactly. Just looking at all that grease is clogging my arteries.

>>6616624
Nope not bitter. I'm 110% straight and I can cook just fine for myself.

>>6616652
Or maybe yours are a little (too) high.

>>6616667
i'm not saying i wouldn't appreciate the thought if someone made those for me. i would choke them down and smile and thank them, but i think calling them "proper" is too far.

>>6616667
>not wanting burnt chicken and greasy potatoes
>high standards
enjoy you're low stanards

>>6616670
Okay
>>6616673
Thanks

>>6616680
>>6616667
>>6616650
>>6616636


I'm hoping this is the same person. That plate looks sad and depressed, that's hardly a "meal". Also, that chicken IS burnt and those potatoes are greasy, this is a low standard meal

>>6616764
all me

i have a few

(a few hundred)

I've got most of the often reposted ones, so if you want it I can try to dig it up.

>>6617478

>>6616605
That chicken isn't even burnt. It has BBQ sauce on it and it looks delicious.

>>6617484

>>6617478
Post them all.

>>6617541
the popular ones or everything i have?

>>6616605
The OP pic really isn't that bad I think, especially as compared to the atrocities usually seen in these threads.

>>6617544
All of them.
The thread was made for these anyways, and I'll actually look at them all.

>>6616618
Well she did say he didn't like it.

>>6617551
i second this

>>6617551
some of them are better than others.

(bestofwifeymaterial.tumblr.com, why i have all of these)

>>6616605
>>6616610
really not that bad, disregarding retarded portion sizing

>>6617558

>>6617563

>>6617478
Do you all reckon telling someone like this (basically random example quoted) that they cook like a child would end the relationship?

>>6617568
This one has to be a joke

>>6617570
if they're proud enough to post this shit on social media and think they're hot shit, then probably.

>>6617576

>>6617579

>>6617586

>>6617558
Better than just raw chicken tacos

>>6617593

>>6617572
No shit dude not even any mushy peas or toast under the bread

>>6617599

>>6617576
>hamtaro plate

>>6617606

>>6617606
6/10 effortless meal 9/10 retard /fit/ meal please dig deeper
>inb4 jam

>>6617611

>>6617586
>>6617579
this is satire right?

>>6617616

>>6617478
that looks fucking disgusting

>>6617625

>>6617490
fucking hell
it looks like somebody took a shit and then puked on it

>>6617628

>>6617631

>>6617490
oh its a plate of microwaved nachos

>>6616605
good job on posting the most passable plate in the OP

you're a fucking failure

>>6617635

>>6617631
what kind of diet is that, malnutrition?

>>6617640
it looks like somebody fucking melted

>>6617576
Those are cute

>>6617640

>>6617635
This would probably be fine if they just calmed the fuck down with the sauce

>>6617654
>whats up guys, I just took a shit on my doritos

>>6617654

>>6616610
I really don't see a problem here, other than retarded plating and amerilard-size of portion
what am I missing?

>>6617611
> #icantgrilltosavemylife #charcoalisgoodforyou #imsorichidontneedcommonsense

>>6617628
shit is correct

>>6617635
#foodporn
oh god why would anyone call that food porn

>>6617658

>>6617616
good god those hashtags...

>>6617478
>those fucking plastic plates

>>6617616
>hashtag vegan
>alfredo with chicken

this has to be a joke

>>6617705
Because it's gore.

>>6617625
OK I have to leave now.

>>6617658
That rgkrw;aGJ j#:T$KEGWSDMV<MZDF<>BX

>>6617623
For the sake of us all, it has to be

>>6617707

>>6617722
why take the time to photograph those things? I mean, the garbage can is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, it's not like killing Osama and having to fly 400 miles so you can dump his body into the ocean or anything

>>6617722

At least half of these are obviously jokes.

>>6617726

>>6617740
More like the way to his artery

>>6617740

Once on leftover night we had fried rice. I was looking forward to it because it was good fried rice. Not like I thinking about it all day, but i knew what we had for leftovers and coming home from work spam fried rice just sounded good.

Dinnertime comes and i take a bite and recoil. My wife had mixed a half jar of vodka sauce we also had in the fridge into the rice (leftovers night, remember?). Only time i was legitimately angry at her cooking and left the table, mainly because we had something decent and ruining it was completely avoidable.

So mad i didn't take a pic. shes a qtpi though, just has terrible taste. I do almost all of the cooking now, but shes into cloth diapering so thats her job.

>>6617740
>"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"

That doesn't mean that you're supposed to rip it out and cook it holy shit

>>6617791
alright that's it for me, it's pretty late here. if the thread's still up in the morning I'll post some more.

>>6617544
>#Struggleslice
Did make me kek

>>6617576
I like this one

>>6616656
>I'm 110% straight

Who said anything about your sexual orientation? Why do you feel the need to emphasize that you aren't gay?

>>6617834

Would eat

>>6617616
>#cleaneating

>>6617576
What is that pink jelly-like thing?

>>6617722
What bothers me is that she didn't even try. She just grabbed some heinz spaghetti in a can, microwaved it, and put it next to some tendies she got frozen. Her idea of "cooking" is putting pepper on the whole thing. I don't know how someone can believe that putting pepper on something makes it cooking.

>>6617611
That's a chocolate muffin right?

>>6617705
Same reason there's fatty porn.
People will eat/fap to anything

>>6616636
those potatoes are shit

>>6617628
It does in fact look like Rachel Ray shit again.

>>6617616
there can be no possible way this isn't a joke, anon

>>6616656
>I'm 110% straight

You'll a coward

>>6617740
So what's that in the pan, heart or stomach?

>>6618353
If you look closer, you'll see the canned spaghetti is actually on top of real spaghetti.

>>6618393
Yes there is a chocolate muffin in there.

>>6618665
Some of these are jokes, yes. Doesn't make that any less funny.

>>6617616
>pasta two ways

snorted and farted right there

>>6617611
someone is going to have stage 4 cancer if they eat that shit

>>6618908

>>6618353
You'd be surprised. My mom was a pro cook, but I had cousins that didn't even know what cooking was. They would heat up a can of whatever in the microwave and that was all the "cooking" they ever knew. I get the feeling that was a small example of what was happening all over the country as girlchildren grow up and pretend to be girlwomen who know how to cook by opening a can and think that's normal, acceptable, and praiseworthy

>>6617576
raw chicken breast is vegan?

>>6618979

>>6617834
>pre-grated cheese

>>6617576
>big blob of ketchup and mayo (?) and probably overly sweet tea

>>6617708
>>6617711
>>6618001
>>6618665
it's like i'm a kid again

I love this thread

>>6617941
For the same reason that I anonymously make fun of average meals online. I don't know what I am or why I'm here. What are we doing? Why am I filling this empty void with images of food and laughter at the expense of others? Have I contributed anything positive to the world? Why does Kim Kardashian think having a butt makes her amazing? What was the relationship between George Washington and Jaden Smith like during the war? After he saved Jorge Washiñgtoñs life, did he start selling Pepsi-Cola products to Mexicans?

But I'm not gay.

>>6618993

>>6618982
My parents never cooked at all during my childhood, it was all microwave or frozen food, but basic understanding of nutrition, grocery store produce, and the internet led me to be a half-way decent home-cook. They have to know deep down that what they're doing is insanity if they've ever eaten at a restaurant. I just can't believe they have absolutely no idea.

>>6619054

>>6619054
I read it quickly and thought it said "my depressing".
I think the image spoke for itself.

>>6616610

> i forgot to erase the name

leave, reddit

>>6619092
JUST

>>6619092
the nastiest thing about this image is that fucking font

>>6619107

>>6619144
this is probably the best one in the thread
its not really /good/ food but its comfort and not a pile of disgusting goop

>>6619144

>>6619162
>canned spaghetti
>some random fruit on a plate
>frozen chicken nuggets
>bowl of lettuce with some processed meat
all washed down with a nice big glass of blue Gatorade
>comfort
>not a pile of disgusting goop

>>6617715
time to jack off ya?

>>6616610
>>6616663
>>6617599
>>6617616
>>6617628
>>6617707
>>6617722
>>6618979
>>6618993
Would eat

>>6617658
>>6617654
>>6619092

that seriously looks like somebody took a shit on a plate

>>6619162
see
>>6617722

if you think the first one is any more acceptable then i guess plating really IS important to food & cooking

>>6619165

>>6617705
Because it's hot gooey steamy and nasty

>>6617628
is that tuna with sauerkraut?

So are these meals people are actually proud at and make pictures of them to show them off?
I wouldn't eat anything in this thread except when an 8yr old would have cooked it.

>>6619144

>tfw imagining your gf making you this
>you know its not very good but enjoy it regardless because you love her
>you will never love anyone enough to actually experience this feeling

This thread made me sad

>>6616610
>stake

>>6619317
>of_frogs_and_feels.jpg

If you need to pretend you like that to get and keep a gf
then I don't want a gf
Call themself wife material

>>6619216

>>6619339
you fried some fries
opened a can of pineapple
and threw a slice of ham on the plate
good job

>>6619339
>this is why domestic abuse exists

>>6619339

>>6617558
I feel like it's a nasty woman peeling back crusty undies and letting me take a peak at something I don't want to see

>>6619367
Would not come home if I was him.
Dead serious

>>6619367

>>6619407
> old ass lettuce, seriously it's wilting and yellow
> thick, lumpy vinaigrette
> mac and cheese, really? Is that a side in America?
> worst of all

> 3 PIECES OF CHICKEN.
> HOLY HELL, THATS LITERALLY LESS THAN A CHICKEN BREAST
> WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SPIT IN HIS FACE AND FUCK HIS DOG YOU DISGUSTING EXCUSE OF A WHORE

>>6619407
>w/ seasoning

fucking normies

>>6619339
Paul should've stayed at work

>>6619407

99% of these are not bad and are definitely better than the 99% of you absolute faggot retards that order garbage from Taco Bell and ask "HEY SEE KAY WHAT SHOULD I GET FROM SUBWAY WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER??????"

At least they somewhat try.

>>6619433
Hello obligatory board contrarian, how are you?

>>6619422
>burger
>burger
>burger
>burger
NO

>>6619422

>>6619439

Hello, /ck/'s equivalent of a /cgl/ landwhale.

The reality is most of this stuff doesn't look bad.

>>6619284
I think it is.

>>6619455
That's just three carbohydrates, that's not even a meal.

>>6619455
just wife my shit up

>>6619455
I'm seeing plain toast/bread here with surprising frequency

do people really eat that besides for breakfast?

>>6617570
Most of these people are just kidding around, so it's more likely to be extreme autism that ends the relationship.

>>6619433
Yeah and you do not see me taking pictures of my shitty tacos, you fuckwit.

>>6619483
I eat plain bread usually with every meal. I use it for sopping up oil/sauce/soup etc.

>>6619516
You triggered my /fit/ autism

Is there husbando material?

>>6619552
I only have this one.

>>6617478
so the fire emoji is referring to the sulfurous smell of his forever farts after she fed him that, right?

that is barely even food. disgusting.

>>6619581
Oh god, someone saved this. I'm the guy who originally posted this and forgot to censor my profile picture. My Facebook profile was found and many keks were had at my expense. Please no one save this.

>>6619516

Is it at least something flavorful like wheat bread or some other more fancy bread suitable for such things?

>>6619605
I save most of these kinds of pictures for my blog. your shitty face is somewhere on tumblr now, sorry about that.

>>6619605

Nice false flag, bro.

NYPA

>>6617941
because he's gay.

>>6618979
this shit is likely delicious, don't lie to yourself

>>6619609

>>6619653
Looks like she cooked her own meat flap and threw a few uncooked vegetables on the side

>>6619653

funny thing is I know where to find actual 'wifey material' posts but I'm way too paranoid one of you ducks will recognize them

>>6619653

Is any of that food even cooked?

>>6619661
tbh none of that looks TOO unappetising, the potatoes are a bit greasy, but the pancakes look alright, I mean it's nothing impressive but it'd make an alright breakfast, no?

>>6619722
Most of the pics would be fine to eat. They're just nothing to brag about. The sort of stuff a ten year old kid might prepare when making his first meal.

>>6619516
You're from the south, aren't you?

>>6619165
why are women so competitive with each other

>>6619661
>>6619801
I dunno. I guess if you have nothing else going for you, being able to make bacon, eggs, and store bought pancakes becomes a high achievement.

>>6616605

That looks good though

>>6619801
>implying guys aren't constantly undermining each other

hello new friend

>>6619807

>>6619165
>frozen waffles
>bacon
>scrambled eggs & velveeta
lol

>>6619605
I remember that
funny enough its here again

>>6619952

This girl is adorable, disability or not, this video is sweet and I want to love this girl and let her know everything can be ok and that her disability doesn't mean she can't be loved. I want to help her with her pancakes for the rest of my life.

>>6619981
disability or not, she is too good for you, and would reject you. what makes you think you are just entitled to think you can love her? check your fucking privilege you sick fuck.

>>6619981
Why are you so emo? Does she look sad?
She's making these videos because she's confident with her "disability" and not because she wants some fat neckbeard to come and tell her it's ok.
I'd bet you'd feed her a bowl of eggs too.

>>6619981
Nigga you can't be loved.

>>6619981
>>6619992
>>6620028
at least she's disabled and not functionally retarded

>>6620072
>functionally retarded
>can't function properly
I think you may be the one who's retarded

>>6620080
like a normal person who has a retarded way of flipping pancakes.

idk, i didn't watch the whole gif

>>6619608
If I'm ever using plain bread to sop up some kind of sauce, it's either a very biscuit-like homemade bread or buttered french bread.

Holy shit this thread is perfect for cutting. I've completely lost my appetite.

>>6620094

>>6617631
>being so whipped that you let your wife literally starve you to death
Either that or it's typical "but diets are when you don't eat food durrr" americlap logic.

>>6619634
>implying that I have a dick

>>6617941
Holy shit I didn't think it was possible for someone to be that stupid.
Reread >>6616624 and then tell me what you did wrong. Go ahead, I'll wait.

What I make for my boyfriend would be perfect for this thread because I try to accommodate his Canafat diet. What I'd make for myself and everyone else is completely /ck/ safe. It's the customer, not the BoH!

>>6620147
>Canafat
Bitch please, that's not a thing. Stop trying to make that a thing. Poutine is healthier than the shit McDonalds put out.

>>6617658
>slow cooked rice
I don't think it's possible for anything to have less texture than that.

>>6620198
I think they made congee without trying, albeit the quality.

>>6620112

>>6619092
Speaking as someone who gets them, this literally looks like menstrual chunks.

>all these dudes taking pictures of shitty meals and praising them on social media to earn brownie points
>all these women thinking these meals are actually praiseworthy

Really, though, you guys are just snobs. Everyone makes shitty food when they first start cooking. My old roommate is a really cool guy, and he's smart, and he's terribly afraid to do something poorly for fear of ridicule, but even he made some pretty cringeworthy dinners when he first had to cook for himself.

He never pulled any bullshit like >>6619107
though.

>>6620256
Did he smugly post pictures on social media of his "cringeworthy" dishes and praise himself as if the food was actually worth eating? If not, there's a fundamental difference between him trying to learn to do something and falling along the way and adult women making terrible food and touting themselves as "wifey material" or being on "that Rachel Ray shit"

>>6619481
I lost it at the struggle plate. Comedy gold

>>6619807
#sandwichafterorgasms

o.o

>>6620238

>>6616605
I'd eat the shit out of that

>>6619981
would you a yotsuba?

>>6620072
Is it so hard to put the a in and?

Whats with all these fucking paper plates? Is this some american thing or just a side effect of this level of #wifey degeneracy?

This is probably the worst one I've ever seen.

It makes me feel a little sick.

>>6620457

>>6620492
It looks very 60's, like the ham and banana wraps

>>6619605
> Oh god, someone saved this
someone always does. it is known

>>6617635
>>6619407
>>6620108
>>6620108
people who put a cold salad right on the same plate as a warm main are the worst kinds of people
What are you doing?
Why don't you love yourself?
Why are you allowed to keep breeding?
Why are you still breathing my air?

>>6620239
london

>>6619661
When the eggs are whiter than 4chan

>>6620495

>>6620515
What's the alternative?

>>6620550
> #semihomemade
what the actual fuck

>>6617705
it's more like that feeling of disgust you got after you're done fapping and the vid is still on

>>6619952
Did she delete that video?

>>6620553
don't you have a salad warmer?

If these are some sort of special treat worth sharing with everyone what do they eat on a normal day?

>>6620613

>>6620457
>pan seared

>>6620613
I don't even want to know man
Glad I can cook decent
after this thread I'm thanking God my gf is an amazing cook and not like these shitters

>>6619092
legit looks like lumps of the blood clot I pulled out of my hemorrhoid two years ago.

>>6617788
Well, it would have to go to his heart first before it reached the arteries, so she's right.

>>6617478
oh boy canned corn with a side of actual effort

>>6619609
Fucking hell, potato waffles. Haven't had them since i was like 7

>>6616605

>>6620896

>>6620898
this probably tastes just fine

>>6620896
WHAT THE FUCK

>>6620898

>>6617616
>al Kraft

Does anyone have any genuine examples of "wifey material?" Please don't make me lose all hope.

The number of kraft singles that are just melted over everything is gonna make me vomit, not to mention the vast majority of these plates are just premade frozen foods that got nuked in a microwave for 5 minutes.

>>6619367

>>6620945
why would we share something like that with anyone

>>6620947
>that mess
>curry
It literally looks like someone dug up their septic tank, opened it up, and took a nice solid ice cream scooper full of shit, froze it into place, and lumped onto a plate of rice.

Also, the katsu is not fried properly, and either they didn't use panko, or they crushed the piss out of it. Oh, and there's no katsu sauce.

>>6620950
Chances, are they are already married or in relationships, but I don't care. I just don't want to lose what little hope I have left.

>>6616610
>stake

This pisses me off.

>>6618908

>that one on the right

Get out of here, Stalker.

>>6620945
My wife is a baker, I get all sorts of really nice baked desserts. Sadly though I never take pictures of them because I never think of it until later. I usually cook the savory foods and she gets dessert.

>>6617576
w2c that hamham plate

>>6618999
That actually doesn't look like pre-grated cheese. The real crime is grating colby-jack cheese over "italian" food and using the kraft parmesan.

>>6620550

threw together breakfast
am I husbando material?

>>6621430

>>6621436
>wilted lettuce
>dried up ketchup
>barely any cheese
>can't even see the meat under all the toppings

0/10 worst burger i've ever seen

>>6621438

>>6621437
that's an interesting egg texture, care to explain?

>>6617640
meatless and loafless

>>6621521
I thought it was mashed potato

>>6621517

>mfw my lazy slop is better than everything ITT

>>6621537

>>6621533
Oh, kek, yellow made me think eggs.

>>6621537
How do you get your beans so dark short of dyeing them.

>>6619367
For a split second I saw pic related in this image. Thanks /pol/.

>>6621564
I think that's just the lighting or it's this, these can get pretty dark especially if you curry them.

>>6621564
Cooking them with balsamic vinegar.

>>6619216
I really what some of whatever this is.

>>6617635
That looks like someone crapped out a giant pile of gut worms.

>>6621560

>>6617611
that poor, brutalized food

>>6619981
She has a boyfriend.

Also keep in mind you would not feel the same nor would other people if she was not as attractive as she is.

>>6621521
literally just scrambled eggs

If we add polonium to canned corn will we successfully kill off the incompetent retard sector of the population? It has to be enough to kill all these people, but not enough to kill decent human beings that sometimes use canned corn.

>>6619144
Yeah, this one's sweet. It's pretty rounded--salad, fruit, pasta, protein. She put effort into it. It's not great, but it's not all piled into one paper plate.

>>6621665
you'd have to add it to mac and cheese as well.

>>6617611
That's food is so black it will sing blues if you have the time.

>>6617558
Holy shit, it's the sogwich!

>>6621674
You shouldn't be so hasty. Genuinely good but harried parents often resort to those for their children. The generic brands make for cheap and halfway decent calories for poor people.

I think canned corn, canned peas, chicken "tendies", and parboiled rice would be a good starting point to poison people with polonium.

>>6621681
>hey anon i know you're sick so I made you chicken soup ^-^

>>6621674

holy carbs batman

>>6617657
>>6619191
You fags really need to see a doctor.

>>6620072
>Nade dinner

Yeah it looks like you threw a grenade at it.

>>6621685
how is any of that different from kraft dinner though. arguably at least with canned peas they're giving their kid some kind of vegetable.

>>6621697
/r/ing that one image of the "chicken soup" which looks like weird semiboiled drumsticks in stock. that's the only really popular one I've seen reposted here that I don't have.

>>6621733
Eh thats actually not to bad compared to most of the other stuff in this thread.

>>6621743
Like I said, some are better than others. I think I've posted most of the really bad ones I have.

I might go trawling for new stuff within the hour.

>>6621733
That one actually looks decent and would be probably be breddy gud if the photo wasn't utter ass.

>>6618353
spaghetti in a can exists?
for what reason?
is it popular?

>>6621762
Also /r/ing those magazine recipes from the 1950s where they always use lime jell-o and miracle whip

>>6617616
how's it vegan if it has both chicken and cheese

>>6621762
Spaghetti in a can is it's own special dirty treat, when you're drunk and/or stoned. It's nothing like actual spaghetti with ragu, but as long as you remember that...

>>6621762
>spaghetti in a can exists?
Yep.
>for what reason?
They're cheap, popular and nostalgic for many people.
>is it popular?
With the poor and those who can't cook, very much.

>>6621765
The Don Drapers of the world ruined everything.

>>6619365
kek

i second that

>>6619924
its good for a mexican. you cant expect anything beyond tacos from them

>>6620495
Who the fuck thought that purely steamed vegetables would taste good?
>>6621681
Looks like something made with food served at a prison and put together by a mentally challenged inmate.

>>6617576
>vegetarian
>cup of piss
It's authentic

>>6617616
>alfredo a pollo
>vegan

Would eat for lunch though.

A lot of these are pretty pathetic but at the same time, someone tried. Not very well, or effectively but thats what makes it so sad.

>>6617705
some people like scat

>>6619481
>#struggleplate
gets me everytime

>>6619481
Lobster, Greens, Chicken, Beans and a black biscuit. That's awesome.

>>6621543
Chelsea? Absolutely disgusting.

>>6621765

>>6616605
>Hey this is pretty good, not cringe at all

>>6620982
guzzled

>>6619339
inb4 she gets jeremy clarksoned

>>6619952
DSP cooking with the king?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imCWw3xGY6s

>>6621436

>>6619952
sauce please

Fresh from this morn

>>6620553
Putting the salad in a separate bowl
jfc

>>6621681
Aaand I'm out. This single picture disgusts me more than anything I've seen on /b/.

>>6621835
But those are just 2 kraft meals

>>6618908
at first i thought it was one of those weird goofy-wannabe people things.
yikes.