/ck/ - Food & Cooking

They don't do faggy ceremonies and jerk off to tea, they just drink it

i don't think ceremony is the word you want to be searching for

tea time's just part of the culture

It comes from the fact that the British actually drink tea and not a repulsive green mud that nobody remembered to filter.

you know, one of the reasons white people we able to conquer the world was their apparently unique ability to both be serious about things and not turn them into useless, counterproductive rituals that serve no meaningful purpose.

>>6592337
>white people
>culture
pick 1

>>6592343
...he writes in English on a website run in America.

>>6592346
... dedicated to Japanese cartoons

>>6592343
It's conquest culture, my friend, and it's stronger than everyone else's culture put together.

>>6592343
Do you have McDonalds and rock music in your impoverished shit hole?

>>6592350

>>6592343
back to mud huts, worshiping rocks and being lion poop for you then

>>6592352
it is creation culture, my friend. Conquest only when necessary or appropriate, but white culture is all about creation, advancement, civilization and the betterment of life for all who choose to participate!

>>6592272
Lol matcha means piss in russian

I fucking hate this place sometimes. Like OP's sentiment is genuine and he takes every measure to phrase it in the most obnoxious and inflammatory way to garner maximum replies. Then everyone comes in to "troll" the ignorant sinophile, which is probably what he wanted in the first place.
It's the most disingenuous way of communicating, but instead of being a sycophantic echo chamber of false agreement and enthusiasm, such as somewhere like Reddit, it's just become the polar opposite and is literally just as bad.

Fuck everyone

If you look up 'tea' in the first cookery book that comes to hand you will probably find that it is unmentioned; or at most you will find a few lines of sketchy instructions which give no ruling on several of the most important points.
This is curious, not only because tea is one of the main stays of civilization in this country, as well as in Eire, Australia and New Zealand, but because the best manner of making it is the subject of violent disputes.

When I look through my own recipe for the perfect cup of tea, I find no fewer than eleven outstanding points. On perhaps two of them there would be pretty general agreement, but at least four others are acutely controversial. Here are my own eleven rules, every one of which I regard as golden:

First of all, one should use Indian or Ceylonese tea. China tea has virtues which are not to be despised nowadays — it is economical, and one can drink it without milk — but there is not much stimulation in it. One does not feel wiser, braver or more optimistic after drinking it. Anyone who has used that comforting phrase 'a nice cup of tea' invariably means Indian tea.
Secondly, tea should be made in small quantities — that is, in a teapot. Tea out of an urn is always tasteless, while army tea, made in a cauldron, tastes of grease and whitewash. The teapot should be made of china or earthenware. Silver or Britanniaware teapots produce inferior tea and enamel pots are worse; though curiously enough a pewter teapot (a rarity nowadays) is not so bad.
Thirdly, the pot should be warmed beforehand. This is better done by placing it on the hob than by the usual method of swilling it out with hot water.

>>6592365

>>6592368

Fourthly, the tea should be strong. For a pot holding a quart, if you are going to fill it nearly to the brim, six heaped teaspoons would be about right. In a time of rationing, this is not an idea that can be realized on every day of the week, but I maintain that one strong cup of tea is better than twenty weak ones. All true tea lovers not only like their tea strong, but like it a little stronger with each year that passes — a fact which is recognized in the extra ration issued to old-age pensioners.
Fifthly, the tea should be put straight into the pot. No strainers, muslin bags or other devices to imprison the tea. In some countries teapots are fitted with little dangling baskets under the spout to catch the stray leaves, which are supposed to be harmful. Actually one can swallow tea-leaves in considerable quantities without ill effect, and if the tea is not loose in the pot it never infuses properly.
Sixthly, one should take the teapot to the kettle and not the other way about. The water should be actually boiling at the moment of impact, which means that one should keep it on the flame while one pours. Some people add that one should only use water that has been freshly brought to the boil, but I have never noticed that it makes any difference.
Seventhly, after making the tea, one should stir it, or better, give the pot a good shake, afterwards allowing the leaves to settle.
Eighthly, one should drink out of a good breakfast cup — that is, the cylindrical type of cup, not the flat, shallow type. The breakfast cup holds more, and with the other kind one's tea is always half cold before one has well started on it.
Ninthly, one should pour the cream off the milk before using it for tea. Milk that is too creamy always gives tea a sickly taste.

>>6592371

Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round.
Lastly, tea — unless one is drinking it in the Russian style — should be drunk without sugar. I know very well that I am in a minority here. But still, how can you call yourself a true tealover if you destroy the flavour of your tea by putting sugar in it? It would be equally reasonable to put in pepper or salt. Tea is meant to be bitter, just as beer is meant to be bitter. If you sweeten it, you are no longer tasting the tea, you are merely tasting the sugar; you could make a very similar drink by dissolving sugar in plain hot water.

Some people would answer that they don't like tea in itself, that they only drink it in order to be warmed and stimulated, and they need sugar to take the taste away. To those misguided people I would say: Try drinking tea without sugar for, say, a fortnight and it is very unlikely that you will ever want to ruin your tea by sweetening it again.

>>6592368
>>6592371

>>6592372
These are not the only controversial points to arise in connexion with tea drinking, but they are sufficient to show how subtilized the whole business has become. There is also the mysterious social etiquette surrounding the teapot (why is it considered vulgar to drink out of your saucer, for instance?) and much might be written about the subsidiary uses of tealeaves, such as telling fortunes, predicting the arrival of visitors, feeding rabbits, healing burns and sweeping the carpet. It is worth paying attention to such details as warming the pot and using water that is really boiling, so as to make quite sure of wringing out of one's ration the twenty good, strong cups of that two ounces, properly handled, ought to represent.

A Nice Cup of Tea

By George Orwell

Evening Standard, 12 January 1946.

>>6592365
>wah wah fucking maymays get off my 4chan

HOTHEAD
O
T
H
E
A
D

>>6592365
Ego fucking odio hoc nonnumquam. Quasi OP sententiam genuina est et sibi modis omnibus explicareque phrase erit in nobis fidi sunt et inflammatione modo horreum maximum praecedebat. Tum ut quisque in "Troglodytarum" sinophile imperitorum, qui fortasse in primis quod vellet.
Suus modus communicationis plurimum plerisque, sed secundum esse falsae echo cubiculum studiumque adulatorie res agatur, ut alicubi Reddit sicut suus et mox litteram contrarium polaribus iudicantur.

irrumabo omnes

>>6592385
are you fluent in Latin?

>>6592390
Of course. Are you not?

>>6592390
>hurr durr what is google translate

>>6592365

we know. we do it because its funny and we like. if you dont, the rest of the internet is >>>>>>>thataway

>>6592368
>>6592371
>>6592372
>>6592372
Listen, George Orwell may have been a good/ow famous author, but you just can't take the opinion of a British person alive in the early to mid 1800s on tea very seriously. The British had been trying to topple China's monopoly on tea since the 1700s and, in addition to two opium wars also had a spy sent by the government to discover the Chinese secret to growing tea....

That whole mini essay on tea gets posted a lot but you need to consider the time and place or origin when you read something like that, in Orwell's case it is just extremely biased.

>>6592393
Unfortunately I only had one year of it in high school and have not maintained it. I think I still remember what each case and tense is for, but I can't produce noun declensions and some I can't recognize, my verbs are even worse, and my vocabulary has gone to shit.
>>6592400
Having learned some Latin previously I just thought it looked too correct to be machine translation but hey. I guess
>sinophile
should have given it away since it probably should be
>sinofilium

>>6592410
我他妈的恨这个地方的时候。像OP的情绪是真实的,他采取一切措施,这句话在最厌恶和炎症的方式来争取最大的回复。然后每个人都进来为“巨魔”无知亲中国,这可能是他想要的东西摆在首位。
这是沟通的最虚伪的方式,但不是被假协议和热情,如地方像一个书签交易回声奉承室,它只是成为了截然相反,是从字面上一样糟糕。

每个人都他妈的

>>6592403
I obviously meant 1900s by the way. Dont want to trigger anybody.

>>6592403
Britain never claimed to grow good tea at home (that's what India was for), only to be passionate tea-drinkers.

>>6592418
Nice save, I was going to green text and smug anime face you. Glad you cleared this up.

>>6592414
Dude, I'm Chinese, that wasn't a legit translation.

God damn, why does Google turn 'fucking' into 他妈的? That's not how you use it.

>>6592322
Confirmed to only ever had bad matcha

>>6592272
because they don't call it "british tea ceremony."
They call it "Afternoon Tea."
>About 30,500,000 results (0.36 seconds)

eat a dick.

>>6592272
The queen.

She has rules for how she likes her tea. Handle must be at a certain mathematical angle, exact temperature etc. I think she has a guy hired 24/7 on call, do just the tea alone.