/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6518168
A giant lime with edible peel, great fermentation potential and ideally, I would like it to contain opium.

>>6518168
Sweet and juicy like a melon, with a flesh like ripe honeydew. Also it's always the perfect level of ripe/sweet, not the goddamn horseshit flavorless, unsweet melons you get 98% of the time because fuck our goddamn overproducing, out of season bullshit industry

plucking each one of those pods would bring me great pleasure

>>6518168
I'd make crisp, juicy limes or lemons with a non-bitter peel and sweeter, less sour flesh.

>>6518176
>>6518184
>limemind

>>6518168

Baconfruit with cheesy inside.

one or 2 joms

>>6518168
Cheese that isn't disgusting and unhealthy

Artichoke with 4 spatial dimensions

apple sized cherries.

apple sized watermelons with banana style peelable skin

pomegranate with cucumber-like (texturewise) seeds

pink grapes that taste like watermelon

bring back gros michel and start bringing out new kinds of bananas (i would very much want a vanilla/custardy banana)

avocados that are actully ripe when you want them and doesn't go from under to over ripe in the course of 24 hours

rose apples that are sturdy enough to be transported

blueberry bushes growing bilberries instead

farmable cloudberries (jesus christ my dick)

bloodoranges the size of oranges while being as easy to peel as satsumas(or infact, any citrus fruit being as easy to peel as satsumas)

It would be like the best qualities of aromatic hops combined but without bittering oils.
Also it's smell would not degrade in the presence of oxigen.

A juicy lemon that you can bite in like an apple. The juice of the lemon will be milky white with the thickness of semen.

>>6518241

smegma berries

A citrus that's halfway between lemon and lime
We will call it a lemonlime
Every 7-up/sprite-like soda will be free advertising.

Flavor of piña colada, texture of apple, vivid hallucinations

blueberry flavoured watermelon.

>>6518241
>implying cheese is unhealthy

An onion that caramelizes as it ripens.

Durian/Banana crossover, seedless and easy to eat.

Strawberries that freeze-dry themselves.

A giant grape/melon hybrid, the skin is thin and edible.

>>6518222
>three minutes apart

You're dumb.

>>6518324
Try some japanese Yuzu... its that plus some grapefruit

Thanks, /ck/! I learned something today. Never seen or heard of hala fruit before.

A simple orange with no white shit all over the inside.

A pre sliced banana.

An avocado that remains at perfect ripeness for longer than the 30 seconds they currently do.

A tomato that's technically a vegetable.

Any currently available fruit or vegetable, except it hasn't been soaked in pesticide.

>>6518545
>google hala fruit
>third link down is reddit

Confirmed for memefruit.

a hand fruit that tastes identical to pineapple, but with the texture of an apple and has no core.

>>6518344
>onion
>ripen
Choose one.

Cucumber that taste like a melon/ cantaloupe.

>>6518180
the tone of your post went from sweet old lady to angry dad. made me chuckle.
just thought i should tell you that

watermelun dat got juice taste like grape drank

a plum that doesn't make me think of the time I bit into a plum and it was almost entirely rotted through

i miss plums

>>6518168
>What qualities are you looking for?
It should be shaped like a pair of womanly buttocks and have a hole that feels exactly like a vagina when I have sex with it.

They would be like Grapes, but instead of fruity grape juice inside, they would be filled with Wrath.

seedless fucking pomegranate

Red squash

i would design squash that is red

Pears without the core that don't go from ripe to mushy so fast.

>>6518802
I hate pears fuck you

easily peelable seedless altafulto mango . mango seeds suck .

dick-shaped so I can stick it up my arse and releases stimulants once it's in there

Marijuana that tastes like pizza, that technically isn't marijuana so I can have it in my state without being a criminal even though I can drive for like 48 hours and not be one.
Fucking bullshit.

>>6518181
Look up Monstrosa Deliciousa.

I'd invent an avocado that indicates when it is at optimal ripeness. I'm not terrible at figure out ripeness I just feel like this is a problem a lot of people have. I could make so many shekels selling these trees to farmers.

>>6518391
>implying anyone reads posts before posting
Your post doesn't even make sense anyway.

>>6518264
10/10 damn son

>>6519402
>lole wead iz so kool guys!

>>6518168
The taste of something really good like a jackfruit, the size of an apple, has a mango textured flesh and can be pulled into segments like citrus fruits has a smooth easily removable pit, and the plant and skin of the fruit has to look cool

>>6518168
A genetically modified fruit salad, it would be like a watermelon and every slice would have at least three different portions of fruit in it with random sections of different flavour so it would be like a Russian roulette of taste.

It would be a great way for kids to get some of their 7 daily portions of fruit and veg as well as being convenient for transport and purchasing.

I want apples with storage cells ten times the size of regular ones, giving them a much juicier crunch.

Otherwise I'd like a variety of starfruit with colorful stripes. Already a god-tier fruit, the only way to improve them is with prettier looks.

Oh, or finger limes triple the size with purple, sour, grape-flavored caviar

>>6518241
>Fruit cheese
Whoa there, Anon. One miracle of science at a time.

>>6519450
>le drugz ar bad XD
We can do this all day bro don't be a douche.

>>6520153
Please stop smoking, we don't need retards getting dumber by smoking it.

A friendly pet vegetable that moves around, and can be kept in a cage like a hamster or guinea pig. Also it farts oxygen instead of shitting everywhere.

>All these fruitfags
My people!

Longan that doesn't leave you with a grotesque skunky taste stuck in your mouth for hours after eating it.

>>6520156
His post was just fine (despite not being a fruit). Then you came along and threw a hissy fit because you hate any mention of pot at all. Some people just like the stuff without making a scene about it, man. It's the bacon of drugs.

>>6520157
>imprisoning a helpless plant

You fucking soulless monster,what if a higher being saw you as a pet and took you away from your friends and family and imprisoned against your will?

>>6520159
lol

>>6518184
>he's never had an italian lime
You're describing Italian limes. The peel/skin has a quality similar to that of kumquat/fortunella in that it's edible and not exceedingly bitter due to low quantity of pith. Some people avoid it nonetheless because the fruit is used almost exclusively for its juice. When the skin is utilised, it is most commonly candied or made into preserves.

>>6518582
Such a thing exists, but I can't remember what it's called. I've never had it. I've heard of it, though.

>>6518761
Exists: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepino
A local juicebar introduced me to it years ago when I got my first place in this area.

>>6518797
That would be very, very pointless. Wouldn't you prefer a pithless one? A pomegranate with an interior like horned melon or passion fruit? With all the seeds (which are the only part you eat of a pomegranate) easily scoopable and omnomnomable?

>>6518168
For all citrus to have kumquat like skins with no pith.

Sweet grapefruit.

Pawpaw and honeylocust trees that are economically viable (with the bonus that honeylocust wood is fucking glorious).

Nespole viable outside of the Mediterranean and South/Southeast Asia. Also miracle fruit.

Snozzberries.

A tomato potato that doesn't suck.

Tomato, pepper and eggplant/aubergine plants that those gigantic green caterpillars don't want to fucking eat, the assholes.

Pitcher plants that are more attractive to agricultural pests than the other plants in my garden are so that when a squirrel or something tries to eat it, the pitcher plant consumes it whole, instead. Fuck you, squirrels. Don't eat my baby corn.

Artichokes without the chokes or needles.

Parsley that grows in heads, like lettuce, because parsley salad is fucking delicious.

>>6520146
The cheesefruit exists except its awful. Tastes like cheese a little, but smells like vomit. The seeds taste kinda like coffee, though.

>>6518168
An orange type of fruit which tastes like pineapple would be great. Cutting up fresh pineapple is messy.

>>6518168
That is a seed from the pandamas palm and is not eatable.

I'd want a variety of watermelon that has flesh that comes in all colors of the rainbow, as well as black and white. They would all taste the same (they would taste like whatever the best tasting watermelon is). There would be seeded, seedless, and personal seedless varieties.

Also, some sort of LSD-containing red grapefruit.

>>6520243
Heston Blumbleberry is a nerd

>>6518168
>What qualities are you looking for?

Appleyness.

I don't think that's a word. English isn't my first language etc. But anything that tastes like an apple.

>>6520224
wow arent you cool for knowing that

also edible would be the word

>>6518168

Damn this thing looks so disgusting and beautiful

>>6518168
An avocado that visibly changes color when it reaches ideal texture. Also, the peel is edible and tastes like cilantro, and the pit is a small jalapeno pepper. Basically, a self-contained guacamole fruit.

Alternately, a pineapple with no core and an easy to peel skin, and a hint of orange and coconut flavor to its juice. Shit would be so good in tropical drinks.

>>6520224
Don't ruin my dreams.

A mango without that shitty pit in the center And n edible peel.a

The power of mint and berries, yet with a satisfying, tasty crunch!

>>6521168
Shablagoo!

>>6520943
This. Also, the tree should be cold-tolerant to -40° F

>>6518362
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Hs-D7e0h-k

>>6518168
>>6518776

A nigger-killing watermelon.

seedless semen

>>6521453
Jesus fucking kek. I just chocked on my pizza and everyone is looking at me now.

>>6518264
>apple sized cherries.
Plums

>>6520246
I like you kid. You got spunk.

>A banana that tastes like a cooked normal banana does, also you can get drunk off of it
>Apple-sized cherries (>>6521696 fuck you, plums don't taste right.)
>Bell pepper within a bell pepper, within a bell pepper. Seedless.
>Apple that makes its own peanut butter
>Giant pomegranates, like pumpkin size.
>Coconut that doesn't hurt your teeth
>Navel oranges with carmel-flavored pith
>Popapples

>>6518820
>>6518802

banana that has a psychedelic compound in its skin

>Size and texture or a rock melon (cantaloupe).
>Tastes exactly like cherry coke
>Has every vitamin and good source of fibre

I had a fuji apple once that had a crisp apple texture but had the exact taste of a perfectly ripe watermelon.

If I could find some way to get that quality on a regular basis I would.

>>6522995
You could have just kept the seeds and planted that shit

>>6523002
I'm not certain but I feel like fuji apple seeds are generally sterile like honeycrisp.

The taste of watermelon. The outer texture of a perfectly seared steak. The inner texture of a mushroom.

>>6523038
sounds horrible

>>6518168
A very large apple-like vegetable, they would grow in clusters on squash-like vines. Where each vine meets the fruit there would be a disc shaped growth with multiple domes of various colors.

Upon pressing in any of these domes a membrane would be ruptured and allow a fluid to circulate through the fruit, containing signals that instruct whatever structures happen to be relevant to either strip methyl groups from related genes and allow them to be expressed, or trigger their expression directly. I'm not sure how I would engineer it, ideally only one gene is "connected" to each dome. This would cause it to begin synthesis of whatever psychoactive compound was associated with the dome you pressed.

Included would be theobromine, theophylline, caffeine, various kavalactones, DMT, nicotine, methamphetamine (or just a ratio of d, l, and straight amphetamine, don't know), histamine liberators, anandamide, THC, l-dopa, psilocybin, l-theanine, probably would include some I've forgotten. Genes to code for special pods or pockets would need to be included as well to handle storage of ethanol, and possibly shield LSD from UV and warm temperatures. The latter most is a hard challenge, synthesizing ergotamine is possible, the rest is quite difficult.

The engineering challenge is nutrient availability, transport, and obviously the actual synthesis. The signalling is easier. Engineering to have it able to mix any combination of the above would be difficult as well.

Its final appearance would depend on the dome pressed, and could be drastically different. If no dome is pressed, it remains non-psychoactive and richly concentrates nutrients. The fruit needs to be able to signal the root system itself, and crude transistors made from selenium and bioluminescence is not out of the question.

>>6523002

Apples are typically replicated by cloning through grafting. Apple seeds are notoriously difficult to use as a way to produce the same fruit because of the way apple trees reproduce. The likelihood of getting the exact same fruit from a tree grown from seed is super low.

Stemless everything

I ask the scientists to bring back the Gros Michel.

>>6523077
>tl;dr

Mini Fruit Salad trees

Maybe something like ananas with skin like a pear

>>6518228
yeah and sriracha too x))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Seedless mango.
Seedless cherries
Seedless tomatoes.

>>6518168
watermelon sized cherries
watermelon sized strawberry
chocolate banana
strong onion, like fucking strong
enormous potatoes

>>6524202
Just for one minute, can you please stop having Asperger's?

Mango that can grow in dry, arid climates and/or poor, acidic soil. I'd rather be considered a hero (nobody will remember the scientists who actually made it happen) than have a custom delicious fruit. It comes with more benefits.

A peach that has the texture of a peach and the size, but tastes like a buttery rainier cherry.

>>6518362
wouldn't work, everyone hates pineapple pizza

Blackberry-shaped but with plum-shaped pods. The texture of the flesh is like a perfectly ripe orange, and the juice is buttery cream soda.

tastes like cheese
but is healthier
different kinds of cheese fruit

Kiwi with edible peel.

>>6524961
see >>6520186

>>6524111
>fy;dr

>>6518264
>apple sized cherries.

I like this idea. Also, straw- and black-berries and grapes the size of apples (or even larger, enough to be huge but still manageable held in one hand) would be amazing. Wouldn't have to go through an entire pound of berries to satiate my fat ass that way.

It needs to be incredibly sweet when eaten.

Also it explodes into a sticky mess when disturbed slightly

Just everywhere, no control at all as it paints everything in a a 2 meter area with white juices.

>Bananas that dont taste like Bananas because I fucking hate the taste of those normal yellow ones at the store

>also crisp flesh like an apple instead of fucking mush

Clemantine with... oh wait it's the perfect fruit already.

>>6518168
A slightly sweeter, seedless strawberry.

A banana that can reproduce sexually but tastes like a desert banana and isn't filled with enormous fucking seeds.

>>6518168
>look this up
>Pandanus Tectorius

I really like Buco Pandan so I guess I would like this?

>>6523077
fuck you have this

>>6518823
Autofellatio mangos you say? I'm intrigued

>>6523077
>>6526962
HA!

>>6523077

neat.

I'd make blue bananas.

Soft skin

No seeds

Screams when you eat it

>>6520399
It's not a word in the dictionary, but making up nonce words is a perfectly valid form of communication.

Basically crossing a cucumber with a Meyer lemon. Just walkin down the street with my tasty treat.

>>6525000
Kiwis do have an edible peel...

>>6530096
>has never heard of based blue java banana

>>6518795
nice reference bro

SEEDLESS MANGO

>>6521430
FUCK

I REMEMBER THIS MOVIE
FUUUUUG

>>6518264
>avocados that are actully ripe when you want them and doesn't go from under to over ripe in the course of 24 hours

This guy gets it.

>one day hard as a rock
>a day later brown mush

Texture of a peach
Shape of an orange
Pink and white skin
Tastes like purple grape juice

Full protein
Low fat
Draught resistant

>>6518820
Ever tried an Asian pear (apple pear)? They're basically superior pears. Not even being a weeb here.

>>6524118
That seems like it would be hell to peel and eat.

>>6530109
You described my last three girlfriends. The one before them wasn't much a screamer. And the one before her had seeds.

>>6518269

I would want it to be like a dense thick cake entirely soaked in really intense cherry juice. So each bite feels like a sponge and then brioche and then dense sourdough bread but the mor you bite the more cherry juice squirts into your mouth.

>>6531227
These are delicious and perfect, except they cost $1.75 each here.