/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>6521580
Looks a little too memeing for me, but great post!, my meme-friend

>>6521580
need to roll it in cheese, bread it and fry it for fatty, molten cheesy glory.

>>6521580
Tell me about the asparagus, why do they wear the bacon?

i feel like people who need to eat bacon and asparagus in a one spear to one rasher ratio are not people i respect.

>>6521603
a lot of loyalty for a greased pan.

>>6521580

The thing that really pisses me off about this shit is that bacon and asparagus have to totally different cooking times so your either left with crispy bacon and mushy spears or well cooked spears with flabby bacon.

>>6521607

>>6521622

not really

>>6521622
What is temperature control?

>>6521625

Yeah, REALLY you fucking 12y/o.

>>6521627

>bacon wrapped anything
no. I really hate to use the word meme, but the two memeist foods to ever meme are bacon and sriracha

bacon is best by itself, slight exceptions for bacon egg and cheese biscuits

HEY ASPARAGUS RAPIST IF I EVER SEEN YOU IN THE STREET IM JUST LETTING YOU KNOW ITS GO TIME WE WILL THROW DOWN I WILL DO A BABALITY ON YOU I WILL TURN YOU INTO A BABY YOU FAGOTRANIC FAGGAPOTAMUS NEVER MAKE ASPARAGUS AGAIN

>>6521626

You can't bullshit temp. control two things with half the cooking time of one and other, you fucking TV dinner micorwaver.

>>6521627

no, not really. the asparagus actually needs to be taken to a higher temperature than the bacon to cook through but it doesn't need to brown/render the way the bacon does, and it's on the inside. it actually works out well enough.

>>6521631
Op here, I forgot to tell you guys that I'm serving this asparagus with a gluten free filet mignon that has undergone a 48hr siracha marinade and garnished with gold leaf.

>>6521580
My mum makes bacon wrapped asparagus from time to time. It's really quite good. She does it on the griller, not the oven, so it's actually smokey in flavor, and it doesn't sit in its grease in a pan, like your picture.

>>6521655
I'm going to bake them on a rack so the fat drips you mongoloid.
>>6521639
Confirmed master chef here guys. Watch out

>>6521652

>siracha marinade

i'm actually curious about how that would turn out. although doing it to a filet mignon would be very pointless.

>>6521645

You are completely fucked in the brain. No one completely wraps the damn spears in bacon creating a heat proof barrier, the fucking ends are always hanging the fuck out and getting burnt to shit, asshole. That’s not even to say the method is sound in the first place due to the shape of the spears which would require the large end to be cooked the most and the tips the least and every dumb cunt I’ve seen do this wraps the middle or the back end leaving the delicate tips exposed to the fucking inferno it takes to get the GD bacon crisp.

also, fuck you for making me type all that.

>>6521662

>No one completely wraps the damn spears in bacon creating a heat proof barrier, the fucking ends are always hanging the fuck out and getting burnt to shit, asshole.

so you're conceding that the majority of the asparagus is insulated by the bacon, nice one.

>That’s not even to say the method is sound in the first place due to the shape of the spears which would require the large end to be cooked the most

right and i'm sure your method for cooking whole asparagus spears involves transferring heat preferentially to the stems before the tips.


either way, the ends of the asparagus getting a bit burnt isn't the issue you were originally talking about. it's not true that crisping the bacon and cooking the asparagus delicately are irreconcilable goals. there's a temperature range where it works out fine especially if you're heating the bacon evenly.

Gross

>>6521679
Op here, I will post pictures after I'm done cooking them you faggots.
>>6521659
I have nothing for you if you actually believe that anybody would marinate a filet in cock sauce you nigger

>>6521693

i didn't actually think yo were being serious.

>>6521679

I ain’t conceding shit it you bitch, whatever, if any insulation is in the wrong area, therefore will not make up for the incorrect cooking times, faggot.

Actually a two stage cooking process with the spear results in a more uniformed end product, asshat.

For fucks sake there are so many issues with this asinine cooking method I could go on for days about how fucking stupid you would have to be to do this.

That looks pretty gross and way too fatty. You're supposed to cook the asparagus and roll like three shoots in one slice of parma or serrano ham, not every individual shoot in what is basically pure pig fat.

>>6521679

Just, look at this shit you stupid faggot.

>>6521714

>I ain’t conceding shit it you bitch, whatever, if any insulation is in the wrong area, therefore will not make up for the incorrect cooking times, faggot.

in the area that isn't insulated. which is small.

>Actually a two stage cooking process with the spear results in a more uniformed end product, asshat.

blanching and then sautéing or whatever it is you're talking about doesn't magically resolve the 'one bit of the asparagus cooks differently to the other' problem. one bit of asparagus will always be cooked differently to the other unless you manage to subject them to different cooking times or temperatures. it isn't specific to this method.

>For fucks sake there are so many issues with this asinine cooking method I could go on for days about how fucking stupid you would have to be to do this.

no you couldn't, though i'd like to see you try.

>>6521743

How can you even type with that many dicks in your mouth? The GD bacon doesn't insulate shit cock gobbler. Even if one where to just wrap the spears which would be ascetically unpleasing and defeat the whole damn cutesy bullshit idea it would still come out like fucking garbage.

If you actually shield the delicate tips while steaming with some aluminum foil or just place the butt ends submerged in boiling water with the tips out you can achieve a perfectly cook spear, you testicle juggling monkey.

I’ll give you another issue, it’s too damn greasy

>>6521775

>The GD bacon doesn't insulate shit cock gobbler.

obviously it does.

>Even if one where to just wrap the spears which would be ascetically unpleasing and defeat the whole damn cutesy bullshit idea

what

>If you actually shield the delicate tips while steaming with some aluminum foil or just place the butt ends submerged in boiling water with the tips out you can achieve a perfectly cook spear, you testicle juggling monkey.

yes, which is what i meant by 'subjecting them to different times or temperatures', and which is equally possible when wrapping them in bacon.

>I’ll give you another issue, it’s too damn greasy

if the fat renders off i doubt it but that becomes personal preference.

>>6521793


If you were to do the math on bacon you would reaize that you're not insulating shit, you fucking idiot.

Waste of bacon.

>>6521806

are you joking

>cu/ck/s
>5 threads a day with cu/ck/s in headline.
>90% of these whining or meme threads.

Thread ignored.

Ok faggots. Op here with the finished product. Not burnt, greasy or unevenly cooked for you cu/ck/s in this thread

You're supposed to eat asparagus with ham, cheese, egg and potatoes.
Also the green ones suck.

>>6521910
nice pic faggot

>>6521662
this looks like asshole.

Who put lemons there, too?

>that'll class up this pile of crap.

>>6521580
wrapping 2-3 with thin prosciutto and a spreadable cheese inside is much better

>>6522071

shut the fuck up, no one things lemons are classy.

>>6521972
Heresy.

in threads with bacon is always so much hate.

Isn't one slice of bacon per day more than enough to fuck you over long term?

>>6522185

probably not

>>6521626
>Do you wish you was white
Yes, I wish I was. For the advantages, though I would still like to stay connected with my family.

>>6522127

hey fuck you, lemons are classy as fuck.

>>6521910
It still looks retarded

>>6521910

It's totally burnt, you suck and your thread is shit, you salad tossing monkey.

>>6522090
this.

You need to wrap those in puff pastry as well.

Best appetizer ever.

>>6522250
It's not burnt you nigger, it's purple asparagus
>>6522289
I will consider this

>>6521624
When did the President get his own statue?

>>6521825
Cuck confirmed

>>6521580
>>6521910
I just wanted to say others are right.
It's too much bacon.
I love fatty smoked/cured pork with asparagus, but peel those stems or use young asparagus, use thin cut pork, and not so much of it. Try it dressed with a little apple cider or balsamic vinegar sometime, marinating the asparagus first is even better.

>>6522312
>purple asparagus

nigga datz just some made up shit like bitchz wit dem good hairs talkin' bout they part pokahantz'

>>6522347

>>6521626
>that qtpie with the rolled up jean shorts

I would give everything to have her. Fuck modernity

>>6521580
Did you pre-steam it? It's shit if not pre-steamed before crisping.

Wrap it in roast beef instead. Or turkey. Really, any kind of deli meat applies here. Add some provolone if you want to be a fatty. There's no real excuse to use bacon if you're concerned with memes enough to mention them.

>>6522590

shut the fuck up

>>6522594
Don't like turkey?

>>6522572
She's have other personality flaws apart from a rampant hatred of niggers. That shit doesn't come alone. Assuming of course she shares her mother's opinions.

>>6522603

i'm fine with turkey but it's dumb to use it in this context and calling bacon a meme is for cancerous faggots

>>6522608
OP specifically mentioned memes, I'm replying to his statement that memes should be a discussion point. I'm very specifically saying that there are other options. That's the entirety of it. Am I typing in a language that is new to you, or what?

>>6522608
Calling a bacon a meme is for cancerous faggots unless it's used in a particularly retarded way.

Bacon with fried eggs and toast isn't a meme, but bacon-chocolate cupcakes are, basically.

>>6521910
Looks tasty as fuck.

>>6522659
It was. Here's my other side dish . Gnocchi with garlic gorgonzola cream sauce and walnuts , garnished with parsley. Keep hating and enjoy your tendies, faggots.

>>6522727
What was the main?

>>6522771
Beef tenderloin filet

>>6521972
I'm the op and this shit looks terrible to me. I would be very disappointed if you served this to me you gigantic faggot