/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I'll have the large pizza with extra pepperoni and wings on the side please. Additionally may I ask what is the tip policy in this establishment?

Soggy unsalted pasta and an extra bag of disappointment to take home for later.

>>6461180
Hamburger and fries

fettuchini alfredo and parmesan chicken.

>>6461180
I'lla hava zee unalimatida zuppa anda breadsticksa. Also somma jalapeno poppers and tendies.

>>6461187
Large pie, wings on the side. Which side do you prefer?
Don't worry, the tip is complimentaryly added to the bottom of your bill! Just sit back, relax, and listen to our wholesome Michael Buble(accent somewhere) covers of Oasis songs.

>>6461188
Now we can do that al dente soggy or mushy soggy and we can only offer doggy bags if you don't finish your meal, ma'am.

bring me all the salad no peppers

I want da soup that you get more of when its done. and mak sure I dun sit next to any nignigs. I can't stand their nignoggin jargon.

>>6461194
Lalimited souper dipsticks fanciolo and our robot special? It's popular today I'll have to see if we have any in your size in the back

You must be the same fag who does those fucking Gordon Ramsey threads.

>>6461257
>implying /ck/ isn't run by 4 people

>>6461257
Nice try, I can't do a British accent.

unlimited breadsticks you fucktard what else

>>6461277
>Ja/ck/
>Joey
>some dude who really likes hotdogs
>a home cook going through their midlife crisis

>>6461288
>ordering a memefood at a restaurant

How embarrassing

Those are just hot dog buns drenched in garlic and toasted anyways

>>6461299
And me, the king of /ck/.

>>6461288
this, with zuppa tuscana

take the main dish home for lunch tomorrow

>>6461180
i would like a glass of water and to be punched in the neck repeatedly until i pass out

>>6461440
you're not Ja/ck/ you fucker

>bring incredibly italian grandmother to olive garden
>jokingly say "So, uh, is this just like they used to make in Bovino?"
>mfw she gives me nothing but a dead stare

>>6461866
Lapologies, if grandmama wouldn't mind lajoining us to teach us un thing or dos?

>>6461866

kek, poor grandma

>>6461180

Your "Tour of Italy" definitely isn't.

>>6461866
To be fair, your grandmother probably doesn't know shit about how they used to make it either.

That's why Italians fucking piss me off. Czech immigrants don't do this. Mexican immigrants don't do this. Only fucking Italian immigrants pretend that their ignorance is Sacred Knowledge passed down to them from the Pope His Goddamned Self. It's also why 99% of American Italian restaurants are FUCKING SHIT.

>>6461980
You can knock an Italian guy out, secretly bring him to his grandmothers house that has a new room added just for this experiment, sit him down, tell him "We're making your favorite food that your grandmother used to make you. We'll bring it out in 3 minutes, tell us how it compares to hers"

His grandma cooked it
using ingredients she always have and always will
the same pots and pans
the same utensils
the same everything, except he doesn't know his grandma cooked it

He will STILL SAY SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG AND NOT TRUE AUTHENTICO ITALIANO GOD DAMN I HATE ITALIAN PEOPLE FUCKING A YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL THERE'S LIKE A MILLION OF YOU

>>6461180
Chicken tendies and a side of meatballs with sauce. (The sauce will be used for tendie dipping.)

>>6461980
You clearly haven't interacted with a full blown Italian family.

Yeah the recipes can be kind of bullshit and not always great, but Italians are very much family oriented and that's why everything is better when it's their recipes. Family is sacred. The recipes passed down are sacred.

>>6462117
>not dipping your tendies in Alfredo
>pleb

>>6461980
nah she lived there ~25 years before immigrating, the home our family had built was made to look just like a higher-up home of the region (as the "average" home is pretty small there) wine cellar and all
she spends all her time cooking, which is a *little* bad as our region is affected with a specific thyroid condition that makes our trig levels astronomical.

>>6461195
> listen to our wholesome Michael Buble(accent somewhere) covers of Oasis songs.
Yeah, what is with this? Where are the traditional classical Italian songs? Not hip enough?

Turkey burger and fries

I'll take a big cawk

>>6461440
>>6461577
Neither of you are Bossnig you fucking hacks.

>>6461278
fucking brilliant